Little funny poems. Funny poems for children

Sometimes you wake up like a bird
Winged spring cocked
And I want to live and work! ..
But it's gone by breakfast...

Let mom hear.
Let mom come.
May my mother find me.
After all, it shouldn't be like that,
Outside the lock in the toilet…

The priest had a dog, he loved her as best he could.
She ate a piece of meat, he immediately killed her.
A very important piece of meat was bitten off by an insidious beast.
And without this piece, the pop will not marry now!

Looking at the "Rich" from the movie,
Suddenly wanted as a gift our mother
"A trifle", with a pedal: to press the foot,
And up to a hundred arrow instantly disperse!
I did not save on my wife in my life,
For her I will give the last panties!
And, as a family, having collected all the money that is in the house,
We bought her... scales...

Don't butter bread.
Hide the sausage and pita bread.
Sushi, don't eat pizza
Keep your figure!
Spring will come to your house
And there is an elephant in the kitchen.
To flutter with spring in love,
You just need to eat less!

A hedgehog came out of the fog
I drank half a glass of vodka,
He took out a knife, sausage -
Well in the native forest!

Silently sang the song
Wept for the unfulfilled
Looked into an empty glass
And again he went into the fog ...

The blanket flew away, the sheet flew away.
And the pillow, like a frog, ran away from me.
I'm for a candle - she's in the stove, I'm for a book - she run:
I won't buy any more marijuana like this.

Sooner or later
I will become an old man.
thoughtful, serious
Silent fool.
Taking a newspaper in hand
I will chase flies.
I'll fart softly
Hiccup for days.
Incontinence of thoughts
Indigestion of porridge.
Confusion in numbers
In children: ours - not ours?
With a request stupid, absurd,
I'll get up.
Half a day in the restroom
I will sit.
Scared? Funny!
Rejoice for so
As long as I'm nice
Young fool.

Waking up barely
I eat breakfast in bed.
dress, put on shoes
And fix the crown.
Seriously, I sit on the throne,
Servants salute...
Screams: "Damn! Overslept again!!!"
My royal dream was interrupted ...

A little hacker installed Windows
And, as always, they glitched,
Broken keyboard, broken monitor,
There is a stuck ax in the system block.

The mood is cool, spring! I go, smiles are not melting ...
Today is Sunday for me and I don’t care that everyone has Wednesday!

I blinded him
From what was.
Tried to drown
And it ... swam!

The little hacker downloaded the file,
He contained vicious viruses.
There is nothing more to climb on the Internet:
Do not trust computers to children!

A shadow flickered across her face.
And a look flashed, so usually meek.
The last thing I remember that day
There was a black cast iron pan disc.

I will deftly heal my depression -
Let the calories count for themselves!
And I love chocolates
And it seems to be mutual between us.

The kids played hackers in the basement
Lamer Misha they tortured there,
They beat him with an iron stick,
But he did not say where he hid the passwords.

With a cheerful neighing, jogging seed ...
Making the way for whole year pretty far...
It’s about to jump into the house, ringing with its hooves ...
To someone HORSE, and to someone ... PEDAL HORSE!

Our Katya will not cry.
If a boy leaves Katya!
Our Katya will be the first to quit,
Because Katya is a Bitch!

Little user caught luck -
The foreign bank network broke.
For a long time the bourgeoisie could not understand
Who transfers these rubles to them!…

The people in Rus'
It has been going on for a long time:
How many guests do not feed
Still get drunk.

My wife is adorable!
Lord, thank you for your wife!
She is a heavenly creature
As they said in the old days.
She is kind, gentle, beautiful -
She's definitely going for it!
Try to say otherwise
She... will turn my head!

One morning in January
I saw an elephant in a bucket.
The elephant lit a cigarette, blew a smoke,
And he told me - "Don't drink, son."

Something at night behind the wall
It rumbled a lot:
This is an inflatable lady
Burst under a neighbor.

Once I was young and not weak,
I loved books, booze and women.
Years have passed, I turned gray and wilted -
Now I understand, not up to books ...

Don't like handsome guys
And do not ask: "Whose are you?"
All the beautiful guys are bastards!

Hello Dedushka Moroz!
Here is the thing...
Okay, I brought the bag.
Gotta hide the body...

Tell me, uncle, it's not for nothing
You're lurking here with the radar!

A hedgehog came out of the fog
Staggered and fell.
The life of a drug addict is short!
The Ministry of Health warned...

Goes to the left - the song starts,
To the right - he tells a fairy tale ...
Do not think, not a scientist cat ...
Married, simply, this type!

How can I see Marina
The heart beats about the fly!

“Chocolate on top and coconut inside,
It was very tasty, and now diarrhea ... "

I'm scratching in heels again
On ice and morning powder.
Damn ... Tin! How would you like?
What if fate - and I'm in galoshes!

As a lawful wife,
So I'll go to bed with you
Well, just like that, for fornication
Your wick in me is not the goal!

Morning melted in fog
The reeds rustled.
Graceful like deer
Drunks were walking across the field.

You are the hot blush of cheeks
And the scent of forest rain.
You are a sweet sip of champagne
And a sip of hot tea.
You are goosebumps, snowballs by the collar,
Smoke in a strip of bright light.
And mushrooms are still you - russula,
And a marlboro cigarette.
You turn your head like a drug
There was a pounding in my temples ...
But as soon as you open your mouth,
Immediately I think: it would be better to be silent.

On the control

The problem is not solved -
even kill!
Think think head
hurry up!
Think, think, head
I'll give you candy
On my birthday I will give
New beret.
Think think -
for ever I ask!
I will wash you with soap!
Comb it!
We are with you
Not strangers to each other.
Help out!
And then how ladies on top!
(M. Boroditskaya)

School day mode

Dream. Alarm. Shower. Charger.
Breakfast. Tea. Briefcase. Notebook.
Shoes. Way. Crows. Check.
late. Failed.

Turn. behavior.
Deuce. Head teacher Disappointment.
Finding out. Call.
Stair running. Lesson.

Numbers. Rules. Torment.
Light. Window. Dreams. Visions.
Verbal counting. Example. Board.
Multiplication. Yearning.

Deuce. Disappointment.
Perspective. Punishment.
Optimism. Fight against vice.
Jokes. Laughter. End of lessons!

House. One. Hooray! Toys.
Soup. Pancakes. Compote. Cheesecakes.
Relaxation. cartoon program.
Telephone. A computer. Mother.

Meeting. Kiss. A diary.
Oh! Belt. Questions. Scream.
Excuses. Snot. Tears.
Exclamations. Threats.

Reconciliation. Textbook.
-Do it yourself! -Yes. Reshebnik.
Dinner. Bath. Relaxation.
Tomorrow morning repeat:

Dream. Alarm. Shower. Charger…
(T. Varlamova)

Vasya's dad is very proud...

S. Vostokov

Vasya's dad is very proud
The fact that Vasya loves sports!
That sport is called
"Who will quickly eat mom's cake"

Fashionista

V. Stepanov

Zebra loves on the lawn
In a striped T-shirt to run.
Zebra even for candy
Don't wear a plaid shirt.

I do not believe!

S. Vostokov

I don't believe in ghosts
And I didn't see witches.
This is all, without exception,
The inventions of talkers.

There are no brownies in the house,
And in the forest there are no superfluous,
There are no stoves to ride
And foot huts.

What a load of rubbish
Can you trust?
Oh, the roosters sang -
Gotta dissolve.

I do not know how

S. Vostokov

I can't dance
And I don't write poetry
I don't glue airplanes
I don't follow football.

I can't sing bass
And I do not sculpt from clay,
BUT ZATO - ONE OF THE CLASS -
I'm wiggling my ears!!!

Mom and dad don't want...

S. Vostokov

Mom and dad don't want
So that Leshenka will start a small animal.
In vain he stamped his feet
And watered the floor with tears.

Well, what did Lyokha tell them wrong?
Who will understand their parents!
Is it bad to have a pet?
After all, a good animal is a hippopotamus.

chocolate train

Very tasty and elegant
The chocolate train was rushing by.
Along the wagons
The inscription was
"Chocolate Arrow"
All wagons in it
Contract
Were pure chocolate
And the wagon benches
There were cancers.
Rushed like the wind,
But, unfortunately,
Vez is sweet.

These terrible sweeties
licked
All wagons
And then they couldn't resist
A steam locomotive with a pipe was eaten
And of course half way
They had to walk.

What does a mushroom look like?

M. Plyatskovsky

Asked the mushroom
under the aspen hedgehog:
- Tell me why
do you look like an umbrella?

And the mushroom laughed:
- That's a strange question!
After all, I'm in the weather
rainy rose!

Kitty grief

B. Zakhoder

Crying pussy in the hallway.
She has
Great sorrow:
Evil people
Poor Pussy
Do not give
Steal
Sausages!

Fly in the bath

K. Chukovsky

A fly flew into the bath
I wanted to steam.

cockroach chopping wood
The fly flooded the bath.

A furry bee
She brought a washcloth.

The fly washed
The fly washed
The fly was steaming
Yes fell off
Rolled
And hit.

Rib dislocated
Shoulder twisted.

"Hey, ants-ant,
Call the doctors!"

The grasshoppers came
They fed the fly with drops.

The fly became, as it was,
Good and fun.

And rushed off again
Fly along the street.

twisted song
(English song)

K. Chukovsky

A man lived in the world
crooked legs,
And he walked for a century
On a twisted path.

And beyond the twisted river
In a crooked house
Living in summer and winter
Crooked mice.

And stood at the gate
crooked trees,
They walked without worries
Crooked wolves.

And they had one
crooked cat,
And she meowed.
I'm sitting by the window.

And beyond the crooked bridge
Crooked Woman
Barefoot in the swamp
Jumped like a toad.

And was in her hand
crooked stick,
And flew after her
Crooked jackdaw.

rout

E. Uspensky

Mom comes home from work
Mom takes off her boots
Mom comes to the house
Mom looks around.
- Was there a raid on the apartment?
- Not.
- Did a hippo visit us?
- Not.
- Maybe the house is not ours?
- Our.
- Maybe not our floor?
- Our.
Seryozhka just came,
We played a little.
- So this is not a collapse?
- Not.
- So the elephant didn't dance?
- Not.
- Very happy. It turned out,
I needlessly worried.

Pudding

A. Usachev

The English love
There is PUDDING for breakfast,
Because PUDDING -
Very tasty BLUEDING.

Someone who loves PUDDING
And often goes to GOSTING,
There is no HUDING,
And sometimes TOLSTING.

Assistant

A. Barto

Tanya has a lot to do
Tanya has a lot to do:
Helping my brother in the morning
He ate sweets in the morning.

Here's what Tanya has to do:
Tanya ate, drank tea,
I sat down, sat with my mother,
I got up and went to my grandmother.

Before going to bed, she told her mother:
- You undress me yourself,
I'm tired, I can't
I will help you tomorrow.

Conversation with a bee

M. Boroditskaya

I got stung by a bee.
I screamed: "How could you?!"
The bee replied:
"How could you
Pick my favorite flower?
After all, he was so-terribly needed for me:
I saved him for zhin!"

ABOUT THE BEAR

Once upon a frosty winter
Along the forest path
The bear went to his home
AT warm coat fur.

He walked, walked to his lair
Along a country road
And walking across the bridge
Stepped on the fox's tail.

The fox raised a cry
The dark forest rustled
A bear with a fright in an instant
Climb a big pine tree.

Cheerful woodpecker on a pine tree
Squirrel's house caulked
And he said: "You, bear,
You have to watch your feet."

Since then, the bear decided
What do you need to sleep in winter?
Don't walk on the paths
Don't step on the tails.

And calm in winter
The bear sleeps under a snowy roof.
And happy not casually
Who was born without a tail!

CALLS

I am Volodya's marks
I know without a diary.
If a brother comes with a triple
There are three calls.

If suddenly in our apartment
The ringing starts
So five or four
He received today.

If he comes with a deuce
I hear from afar
Two short ones are distributed,
Indecisive call.

Well, what if the unit
He knocks softly on the door.
(A. Barto)

STRONG Vasya

Our Vasily,
Our Vasily,
Our Vasily Kvasnikov
Strongest,
Strongest
Among second graders!

Second grader Seryozha
He often trips up.
Andryushka, second grader
Somehow I went to the top.
For the second grader Grishutka
He punched me in the neck for a joke.

Our Vasily,
Our Vasily,
Our Vasily Kvasnikov
Strongest,
Strongest
Among second graders!

… And in his
fourth grade
Not so strong Vasya.
And afraid of Kvasnikov
All
Fourth graders!
(L. Kaminsky)

Tanya is not given porridge,
It is not put in the mouth from a spoon,
And candy without the hassle
Themselves and climb into the mouth
Is Tanya to blame -
There isn't enough space for the porridge.

Would you like to entertain yourself and your child? Or bring something cute and fun to your event? Then just for you, numerous funny poems for children have been created.

Agree, what can be cleaner and sweeter than children's laughter? After all, he is always sincere - innocent children still have no idea what deception is. Poems about children are funny, short, easy to remember works that can decorate any family holiday. They will cheer you up and set the topic for communication, because nothing brings people together like laughter.

It is not difficult for a child to learn funny poems for children, short quatrains quickly fall into the language, and an understandable, unpretentious dialect will definitely not make it unnecessary complexity.

In addition, you can save a lot on this, because all you need to get them is Internet access. By visiting our website, you can find huge selection works by various authors. And all this is absolutely free and at any time convenient for you, day or night. Experienced and proven writers every day replenish the site database with new funny poems for children, complete variety and freedom of choice are in your hands.

From the cat's point of view

From the cat's point of view
life is clear and simple:
Vovkin's dad exists
to go to the cat for fish,
Because the fish themselves
they would not be able to jump into the bowl;
Vovka's mom - well, so be it
with whom to nap under the TV,
And the fire brigade
to remove the Cat from the ledge;
Armchair - to tear upholstery,
Wardrobe - to hide in it,
Only Vovka exists
it is not clear why.
He, according to the cat,
Very bad for the tail!
And for decent cats,
You know, not a hundred tails!

Nina Tarasova

Cockroach

Lived in the Tarakan apartment,
In a crack at the threshold.
He didn't bite anyone.
Didn't touch anyone
Didn't scratch anyone
Didn't pinch
Didn't regret
And his home
Very respected.
So the Cockroach would have lived
Life with everyone in the world.
... Only people wound up
He has an apartment.

Renata Mukha

I bark myself. And he is silent.
How to teach this?

I take a handful of sweets.
Druzhka has a tail.
What is three plus seven?
Druzhok completely stunned:
Jumping, playing.
Barking - does not want to.

I bark ten times in a row, -
I eat fruit marmalade.

What is two plus two?
Do not ask! Skip first!
Count! There are sweets.
If you bark, you will eat!
He does not understand.
Doesn't want to bark...

I bark again. I eat again.
- You will be without sweets at all!

- Subtract five from six?
Well, my friend, let's count!
Answer me without lying!
- Woof!!!

Valery Fursa

There are no ghosts

I'll say for sure:
Ghosts are fiction!
That's for sure - nonsense!
And nowhere and never
Not on Tuesdays, not on Wednesdays,
Neither the woman, nor the grandfather,
Neither at sea nor in the forest,
Not at twelve o'clock
THERE ARE NO GHOSTS!
Every student knows this.
Even the wind is howling-ah-ah-ah ...
There were no ghosts-ah-ah-ah ...
And on a terrible dark night
Nobody wants to scare us
After all, any ghost -
Just a misunderstanding!
And behind the closet ... just ... a shadow,
But do not ghost ... ghost ...
GHOST!
Nonsense... delusion...
For-blu-de-no-e!
THERE ARE NO GHOSTS!!!
And no one sighs there ...
And no one there ... not steps ...
You can't even think!
And in the darkness ... no one ... prowls ...
Does not laugh ... and does not whistle ...
And nobody's... there... not eyes...
It's just a show-a-a-a-a!!!

Elena Evseeva

Fifteen Fat Grannies

Fifteen Fat Grannies
Standing by the fence
Fifteen Fat Grannies
We looked at Yegor.

And he wanted over the fence
Jump like a bird.
And he wanted, like a fly agaric,
Fall through the ground.

Fifteen Fat Grannies
He was not offended
Fifteen Fat Grannies
They breathed in his face.

Why did he just offer
Carry a bag?
Grandma across the road
Wanted to translate...

The Timurites have moved
As you can see, in Rus'.
And who are they - you
Ask your grandmother.

Tatyana Shatskikh

offended briefcase

The briefcase grumbled offendedly:
— So-and-so! Bum!
Where did he go without me?
Today is Monday!

I took the ball - and immediately over the threshold,
I was thrown under the bed.
Everybody! We were late for the lesson.
Now we get two.

It used to be thrown on the way, -
I fly anywhere.
But not going to school...
This never happened!

Let this not be my fault,
I worry too much.
And he ran away - and at least henna.
This is how you serve the boys!

Already evening outside the window -
Everyone wears it somewhere!
Portfolio did not yet know about
That summer has come.

Vera Kapustina

Seryozha and nails

The whole house is shaking.
Seryozha beats with a hammer.
Blushing with anger
Hammers nails.
The nails are bent
The nails are crumpling
The nails are wriggling
Above Serezha they
Just mocking -
They don't crash into the wall.
It's good that the hands are intact.
No, it's a completely different matter -
Drive nails into the ground!
Here! And no hats to be seen.
Do not bend
Do not break
Take out back.

V. Berestov

Assistant

Tanya has a lot to do
Tanya has a lot to do:
Helping my brother in the morning
He ate sweets in the morning.

Here's what Tanya has to do:
Tanya ate, drank tea,
I sat down, sat with my mother,
I got up and went to my grandmother.

Before going to bed, she told her mother:
- You undress me yourself,
I'm tired, I can't
I will help you tomorrow.

pasta

They gave the boy Anton
Macarnon for dinner.
Macaroni on a plate
Twisted into a knot like a snake.

She looked scary
But Anton bravely
I pierced right there with a fork,
The family just blew it!

Give, - said Antosha, -
More macaroni for me!
Everyone looked with delight
On him from all sides.

And they gave a big medal,
And the picture was painted
Where he bravely wins
A herd of predatory pasta.

S. Vostokov

What happened to the kittens?

What happened to the kittens
Why don't they sleep?
Why is the buffet open?
Broke a new cup?

Dropped the drum
Scratched the sofa?
Why are their paws
Got into someone's slippers?

The bowl of milk was spilled
Waking up the mother cat?
Why was the book torn?
Because they catch mice.

V. Stepanov

Even the very fact of teaching a poem is already good for a child, because just in young age his memory is being actively formed. And the fact that these are also funny poems for children allows us to conclude that his sense of humor will begin to develop at a rapid pace.

Make a small and very touching surprise for your guests, your choice will definitely not be approved. If you want to arrange it on your holiday, then you definitely won’t blunder, because the memory of a child, like nothing else, absorbs all the knowledge and all the information about the world around it. funny poems for children is an excellent source of this information and is available to you at any time of the day or night. Come to our website, choose everything you like and learn it with your child! This can bring you even closer to him while you try to learn the next poem together. Do not hesitate and do not miss your chance, good luck to you.

If you liked our site or the information on this page was useful, share it with friends and acquaintances - click one of the buttons social networks at the bottom of the page or at the top, because among the heaps of unnecessary garbage on the Internet it is quite difficult to find really interesting materials.