Attracts a lot of attention. I constantly want attention

It is not for nothing that such a saying has existed since ancient times. Appearance is the main thing that attracts attention at the first meeting. Work on your appearance: your wardrobe should match the nature of your activities. If you are an office worker, follow the dress code, be dressed, as they say, to the nines. If your type of activity is related to creativity - your appearance becomes a space for imagination: designers, artists, musicians must attract the attention of other people and stand out from the gray mass.

2. A smile will make everyone brighter

A smile and a good mood are no less important than a beautiful dress. A smiling person shows a friendly attitude to the world around him. Therefore, in the words of Baron Munchausen performed by Oleg Yankovsky: “Smile, gentlemen!”

3. Knock and it will be opened to you

Psychologists say that it is impossible to ignore a sincerely interested person. Therefore, always ask questions, ask what interests you, and maybe not so much, but when you show interest in other people’s affairs, their opinions, you show that you care, and those around you begin to pay attention to you in return attention as a decent and intelligent person.

4. Stay in touch

This advice, in a sense, is connected with the previous one; in a team, it is not difficult to observe its members and form an opinion about them. Under no circumstances should you make your observations the subject of discussion with colleagues; this will definitely not serve you well. But for yourself, you can note how this team lives, what people are interested in, in order to maintain general conversations and participate in office life.

5. Like in the movies

This advice is perhaps the most difficult: a person who wants to be successful and attract attention must become charming. You can learn this. Take show business stars or film actors as an example; maybe some of their habits will seem close to you, and you can skillfully add some new touches to your image that will add charm to you. Perhaps these will be gestures, because in a conversation a gesturing person always attracts more attention to himself than one standing like a lecturer at the department: he demonstrates mental alertness and positive energy.

6. Shock is our way

Let me make a reservation right away that this advice is not for everyone; it is more suitable for creative people. The fact is that creativity itself contains a certain aura of shockingness. And, in principle, in the media industry, in art, there is nowhere without this in our difficult times. Some unusual actions or performances sometimes attract much more attention and make everyone and everything talk about themselves.

7. In word and deed

Be sure to be professional, work hard and achieve success. I think professional achievements attract attention much more than stories about what you want to achieve in life or what your future plans are.

8. Love it!

One of the important factors in attracting attention is your personal hobbies. A person cannot talk about anything in his life as passionately as about what he sincerely loves, and this always attracts the attention of those who are nearby. So be sure to have hobbies and don't be shy to talk about them. Fishing, hunting, skiing, drawing - these are things that characterize you not as an office worker, but as a person.

9. Down with embarrassment

It is difficult for you in a new team, it is difficult to find out some useful information, you are not able to formulate a thought: embarrassment is a bad helper in attracting attention to you. Learn to overcome your complexes, smile, ask, communicate - this is the only way to become noticeable within a particular society.

10. Remain a mystery

Yes Yes! This is also necessary, people should know you, but, so to speak, not completely. The ability to surprise is something that should always be your main “trick.” Surprise, of course, in the good sense of the word, so that those around you can always say: “Yes, he can also cross-stitch!” What a fine fellow!" And everyone who did not know about this achievement of yours will immediately pay attention to you and respect you even more.

As you know, people are very different. Someone from the very first minutes after appearing in society attracts everyone's attention and easily makes new acquaintances. We have all met similar “stars” at school, college or at work. However, there are also individuals who simply do not understand how other people attract attention. Sometimes they get the impression that they are wearing an invisibility cap, hiding them from the eyes of others. We suggest trying to figure out why this happens, and also learn how to attract people's attention.

Basic moments

If you are asking the question “How do you attract attention?”, then first of all keep in mind that often noticeable people have a similar “gift” from birth. Therefore, for some it comes easily and naturally, while others are forced to put in a lot of effort. As a rule, active and energetic people are not deprived of everyone's attention. Passive shy people in most cases go unnoticed. Representatives of the first group are for the most part extroverts, directing their emotions, thoughts and energy outward, that is, to others. Introverts, on the contrary, are focused on their inner world, to which other people respond in a similar way. Of course, it is simply impossible to change the type of your temperament. However, it is quite possible to adjust your behavior in order to attract more attention to your person. We'll talk about how to do this further.

Appearance

If you are thinking about other people, be sure to take note of how they look. We are not talking about any special beauty and attractiveness. But if you want to succeed, your appearance must attract others. Therefore, try to critically evaluate yourself and identify your existing strengths and weaknesses. The former should be emphasized as much as possible, and the latter hidden.

Wardrobe

Remember that while you have not yet figured out how to attract attention in other ways than appearance, your main assistants will be interesting and extravagant details of your wardrobe or your appearance. This could be a bright item of clothing, a beautiful accessory, a stylish hairstyle, bright red, etc. But the main thing here is to know when to stop and not to overdo it with extravagance.

Make contact

Start paying attention to how others react to you. Evaluate people's views and respond to them: you can smile, make some appropriate comment, flirt or roll your eyes, make a compliment, etc. In general, get used to being the center of attention.

Move

Remember that moving objects always attract much more attention than static ones. In our case, of course, we shouldn’t run aimlessly from side to side. It is enough just to use not only words during the conversation, but also play with intonations and add facial expressions and gestures. However, it is also important not to overdo it here.

Smile and don't hide your eyes

Try to always keep a smile on your face. After all, you should radiate openness, good thoughts and joy anywhere: in public transport, an elevator, a store, on the street, etc. Also forget about a lowered head and downcast gaze. Always look straight ahead or to the sides and radiate self-confidence.

Posture and gait

Be sure to keep yourself straight, but at the same time free and relaxed. As for your gait, it should reflect your self-confidence. Experts recommend first practicing in front of a mirror.

How to attract the attention of your loved one?

Many girls and women sooner or later catch themselves thinking that their boyfriend or husband is no longer as sweet and romantic as at the beginning of their relationship. Perhaps you have already forgotten the last time you heard a compliment from him or received flowers. However, there is no need to despair. The old days, of course, cannot be returned, but it is quite possible to attract the attention of your beloved man again. We offer some tips on this topic.

Change

Often, when thinking about how to attract the attention of a loved one, girls miss one of the simplest and most accessible ways to solve this problem. Indeed, in most cases it is enough to simply change your appearance a little. Get a new fashionable hairstyle, change your hair color, add some bright and stylish items to your wardrobe. Most likely, such a change will have the desired effect on your loved one, and he will remember how beautiful you are and that you deserve not only attention, but also compliments, flowers, gifts, etc.

Find your passion

If you have been unable to tear your loved one away from the TV with football, a computer shooter game, or get-togethers with friends for a long time, then you should not continue in the same spirit and waste your energy and nerves. Find your own hobby. After all, it is quite possible that you have long wanted to find time to study a foreign language, attend cross-stitch courses, or study at a driving school. So start enjoying life. Believe me, your lover will very quickly notice that you are no longer sitting and waiting for him to deign to carve out precious minutes for you. Then he will follow you on your heels and ask you to pay attention to him.

How to attract a woman's attention?

It is interesting that, as a rule, representatives of the weaker half of humanity are concerned with men after the start of a serious relationship or marriage. The stronger sex is concerned about this problem mainly at first after meeting. Therefore, quite a few men are wondering how to attract the attention of the girl or woman they like. Here are some tips. First of all, don’t skimp on compliments. However, they must be done sincerely, every girl will appreciate this. Also, in any situation, remain a gentleman. This way the girl will see you as a real man who she can trust and always rely on. Make your loved one laugh more often. However, here you should not go too far and pretend to be a clown. Just show her your excellent sense of humor more often.

Before you start attracting attention, it’s worth thinking about why. It is not difficult to achieve this with shocking behavior or appearance, but the result will be dubious.

A self-sufficient person does not need special attention, but, paradoxically, it is precisely such people who arouse increased interest in any company. All insecure people who want to turn the situation in their favor should remember this.

1. Attract attention - overcome problems

First of all, having decided to change the opinions of others about yourself, you need to reconsider your own attitude towards your personality. No matter how trite and old it sounds, the first person whose attention you need to attract is yourself. In order to attract attention in the positive sense of the word, you will have to work hard, perhaps even work on some internal complexes. I know, I can, I am an individual - approximately this attitude towards further positioning should be present when communicating in any team.

As a rule, a person feels a lack of attention in an official setting or in an unfamiliar company. If there is a desire and need to become noticeable in the work team, in particular, to attract the attention of superiors, one tactic is required, in order to become the soul of the company in an informal setting, another.

2. A person is unpopular because he is timid.

Having his own opinion, he does not dare to express it out loud, although it may be of some value. To overcome shyness, you can use a special technique - distance yourself from yourself. Ask for words and look at yourself as if from the outside. As a rule, the very fact that a previously dumb person has shown decisiveness will already attract attention. Literally a few valuable suggestions made publicly will make a person pay attention.

You can attract attention not with knowledge, but with human qualities - give timely and tactful advice, offer unobtrusive help, treat others with something delicious of your own making. You shouldn’t set a goal to charm everyone at once. It is enough to enlist the sympathy of several people. An opinion about a person is formed like a snowball and, if a person really deserves it, over time everyone who needs it will learn about him.

3. You are the one who fits into the company

In this situation, personal qualities are more important. That is, it is not necessary that a physicist has nothing to do in the company of lyricists. It is precisely the opposition of interests that can cause more active attention than complete agreement with the majority. The range of behavioral factors in an informal team is much wider, so it is worth examining the company's priorities before expressing individuality. In any case, respectful attitude towards others will create an atmosphere of understanding, regardless of your position.

There cannot be a single recipe for attracting the attention of an informal company. You may have to act as an animator in a boring company. In another case, a greater effect can be achieved by trying on the image of Blok's Stranger. The main thing to take into account is that once you have captured the attention of the public, you will have to live up to the created image, at least until the end of the party.

  • How attentive
  • Glory to me!
  • Attention instead of love
  • At any cost
  • Not just attention
  • Psychotype craving attention

“Attention-grabbing!” - we are talking about a child who tugs on his mother’s sleeve, and about a sharply dressed woman. However, the list of those hungry for attention can be continued - a scandalous politician, a talented speaker, a shocking pop artist. What makes us look at them, and them do what is guaranteed to arouse our interest?

How attentive

The word "attention" has several meanings - this and concentration on something, And observation, and care (participation). In the latter sense, this is one of the natural psychological needs characteristic of both children and adults. Our attention involuntarily focuses on what is important and significant: interesting, talented and beloved people or bright, emotionally captivating events. The opposite is also true: what attention is drawn to, as if by magic, becomes important and meaningful. In fact, an attempt to attract attention is an attempt to become worthwhile in general (on the scale of world culture or at least a separate subculture) or in the eyes of a specific person.

Glory to me!

We all need the attention of the main people in our lives like air: as a rule, family and friends. It is important that the feelings, experiences and events of our lives are important to loved ones and evoke a sincere response in them. But the amount and form of attention necessary for happiness varies greatly. One needs to be listened to carefully and understood by a faithful friend, others feel fulfilled only by speaking in front of an audience. An unambiguous answer to the question “Why is it that Sergei needs the attention of his loved ones, but Sasha craves the attention of the crowd, and even better, the world community?” does not exist. There can be a variety of explanations for this. And here we are free to interpret the motives and fantasize as much as we like. Maybe Sasha, who dreams of becoming famous, has had enough self confidence, and the modest Sergei is simply afraid of success. Or Alexander realizes his real desires, and Sergei makes do with surrogates. With the same success we can assume that Sergei enjoys his activities, and Sasha, due to some psychological problems, needs constant raising self-esteem and receives it at the expense of public attention. Looking at similar examples, we can also talk about focusing on one's tasks, accepting one's own life, high and low standards, finding your place in life.

Alas, if we do not know specific people, their living conditions, their inner world, making a “diagnosis” regarding the reasons for the need for increased attention is a useless exercise.

Attention instead of love

Although it should be noted that behind the history of seeking attention lies a lack or absence of parental love. Physical care is necessary for the survival of the body. Love and loving attention are for the survival of a healthy psyche.

If a child feels that he is not loved with unconditional love, just as he is, then he unconsciously “decides” to replace love with parental encouragement, pride, attention, if not to himself, then at least to his actions and achievements. When people love you (or at least notice you) for something, it’s better than when you don’t like them at all. Such children make “mother’s little helpers”, “good boys”, “our pride”. Both in childhood and growing up, they try to be either infinitely comfortable in everyday life, or to amaze others with their talents. What's the result? The famous composer, conductor and musician Igor Stravinsky wrote: “My misfortune, I am firmly convinced, was that my father was completely alien to me internally, and my mother treated me without any love. When my older brother died unexpectedly, my mother did not transfer her attitude towards him to me, and my father continued to treat me rather reservedly. And then I decided that one day I will show them what I am worth. And well, that day has passed, and to this day no one except me remembers it.”

Unconditional love cannot be won or earned through achievements - otherwise it is no longer unconditional. If parents, for some reason, were unable to fully love their child, then they will not love him for some reason. Perhaps they will appreciate it, be proud of it, or consider it convenient. But this is not love at all! Growing up, a person with experience in “earning” parental love often becomes an excellent conversationalist and a popular person. This is a fairly common scenario in the lives of celebrities.

Unfortunately, by attracting attention not with your personality, but with your activities, you can win admiration, interest, a desire to be close, but all this again does not replace love. Therefore, even when such a person achieves success and basks in attention, he feels unhappy and empty. After all, what he really wanted - unconditional love that does not depend on his achievements - he did not receive.

But in vain do parents who dream of a daughter or son-genius rub their hands: “It turns out that it’s enough not to love a child to force him to develop his talents!” If a child, for some reason, does not have the strength to “win” the praise of his parents (for example, he is depressed, neurotic, or the parents’ demands are exorbitant or simply absolutely do not correspond to the inclinations of the little person: they want to see him as a violinist, but he is a talented athlete), The baby unconsciously attracts negative attention. Such children “choose” permanent physical illnesses, misbehave, and get into trouble. One of the reasons for this behavior is that parental anger is not as terrible for a child as indifference. Getting angry is better than being unnoticed.

“You can’t become famous for good deeds...”

...sang the old woman Shapoklyak. The popular (!) cartoon heroine has many like-minded people.

From ancient times to the present day, destructive and self-destructive behavior has been widely used as a means to be noticed or gain fame. Let us at least remember Herostratus. In 356, this young resident of Ephesus burned to the ground one of the seven wonders of the world - the Temple of Artemis. In his own words, he did this for the sole purpose of ensuring that he is remembered for centuries. And I achieved it...

People wishing attract attention at any cost, they agree to do without applause and praise, content with curses. Many of them first tried to gain good fame and, only having suffered defeat, looked for other opportunities to remain in the centuries.

How can one not recall Adolf Hitler, who began his career as a politician only after becoming convinced that he would never become a great artist? Some vandals follow this path, as well as people who dream of “making a career” as “the most famous maniac,” “the killer with the most victims,” or “becoming the one who killed in the most brutal ways.” True, for most people who feel the need for attention and prefer “bad” attention, the scale is more modest: quarrels, illnesses, destructive behavior, attempts at demonstrative suicide. There are many reasons for this, and they are very different: depending on the specific case, we can talk about psychological trauma (that is, about a healthy person who has problems), neurotic accentuation, borderline personality disorder or psychopathology.

At any cost

Shocking behavior - scandalous, shocking behavior - is perhaps the easiest way to attract attention. Publishing nude photos of yourself on a blog that is not oriented towards erotica or pornography, having piercings all over your face and a T-shirt with the words “I have sex in a hammock on skis with teddy bears” are typical examples of shocking behavior.

There are also more creative ones. For example, for the 200th anniversary of A. S. Pushkin, the magazine “Dantes” was published in St. Petersburg, the creators of which wanted to “challenge society - to debunk the idol and dispel the myth” using profanity and the assumption of the poet’s homosexuality. The artist Salvador Dali gave shocking titles to both his books (see the “modest” title “The Diary of a Genius”) and his paintings. On one canvas he wrote “Sometimes I spit with pleasure on the portrait of my mother.” The inscription was made not from the heart, but for the sake of a catchphrase, but it was costly: Dali’s father cursed his son and kicked him out of the house. Another outrageous artist, Phil Hansen, will either paint the Mona Lisa with hamburger fat, or a portrait of George Bush made up of the names of soldiers who died in Iraq.

Not just attention

Creativity, public speaking, beautiful and (or) original way of dressing, records - all these are ways to stand out. To attract attention, the industry of cosmetics, fashionable clothing, and accessories was created. On the one hand, the presence of a mainstream in fashion averages out, on the other hand, it gives clear guidelines: dressed in the latest fashion means you are already interesting.

There is room for a number of misconceptions here. For example, many people believe that “artists are those who love popularity.” In fact, for many representatives of this profession who do not experience need for attention, popularity is a side effect and sometimes a very unpleasant one. Many actors simply love the process of getting used to the role. Thus, the famous actress Keira Knightley would really like to work and act, avoiding the press attention that is painful for her. The rule here is simple: if a person does something that gives him pleasure, it makes him happy, even if he does not achieve great popularity. Statistics show that success is often achieved by those who do what they do for love, and not for fame. Of course, there are exceptions - masterpieces PR and self-promotion, but that's another story. Quite often a person, thinking that he is looking for attention, tries to satisfy his other needs. For example, some women hope that if they look so that everyone will pay attention to them, this will provide them with sexual success and a happy love life. But no. If a woman takes care of herself, loves herself and her appearance, she enjoys greater success than an insecure woman, even one who has turned into a standard of beauty through plastic surgery.

Psychotype craving attention


Be the center of attention
People of a certain psychotype also strive - hysterics. Their main distinguishing feature is demonstrativeness. Hysteria is not a disease, rather an accentuation, so to speak, a distortion of personality, which, however, can lead to pathology - hysteria. Imaginative, illogical, prone to manipulative behavior, hysterics are artistic and easily get used not only to any role, but also to any story they themselves have invented. These are precisely the people who, when they lie, sincerely believe their lies. With a certain level of talent, they make wonderful artists and speakers, sometimes they become the adornment of fashion salons and bohemians. A hysteroid can show great courage if it is in the spotlight. It was about the hysterical Trotsky that one of his comrades said, “Lev Davidovich Trotsky is ready to die for the revolution, but only if no less than fifty thousand people see it.”

There are times in each of our lives when we need to attract attention.

Anyone and anywhere - at a meeting, seminar or at a party - is not important. Of course, it is necessary to take into account the circumstances of the place. But if we put all this aside, here is what is guaranteed to attract people's involuntary attention:

  • unexpected or strong sound stimuli, for example, a loud remark in silence (wonderful if it is a joke or a classic quote - focus on the audience);
  • something new: for this reason, a change in image often creates a sensation (remember the film “The Most Charming and Attractive”);
  • contrast of colors: it is much easier to be noticeable by combining, for example, red with green or black with white.

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Question: “Can a person succeed who does not know how to attract the attention of others?” can be considered rhetorical. The ability to attract attention is one of the most important resources for success in life. As practice shows, “gray mice” rarely achieve success in life.

Today we bring to your attention seven elementary ways that will help you behave in such a way that people pay attention to you and willingly meet you halfway.

Consider your interlocutor's requests

If you want your interlocutor not only to listen, but also to hear you, you need to take into account his requests. You will be listened to carefully if your story somehow answers the request of your listener and helps satisfy any of his needs. For example, you can use the “cactus and baobab” principle. If during the exam you got a ticket with the question “Everything about cacti”, and you only learned everything about baobabs, then it is better to start your answer with the phrase “A cactus is not a baobab, but a baobab is...”, that is, make sure that the examiner nevertheless, I listened to you and realized that you knew something. You should build a kind of bridge that will help connect your knowledge (about baobabs) with the examiner’s need to hear everything about cacti.

Don't make a fuss

To capture the attention of your interlocutor, try not to fuss or actively gesticulate. This is so clear: twitching, rocking, scratching, wringing hands and other unnecessary gestures will, at a minimum, distract the attention of your interlocutor, and at maximum, irritate him. As a result, instead of the long conversation on which you pinned so many hopes, you will, at best, get a 15-minute rendezvous. Your interlocutor may turn out to be weak-hearted and will quickly end the conversation and say goodbye to you. So, to win the attention that is so important to you, try to be restrained. And it wouldn’t hurt to first practice “on cats,” at least establishing eye contact with your interlocutor.

Ask


If you come to a new team and want to attract the favorable attention of new colleagues, you should not pretend that you already know everything and are generally an order of magnitude higher than all the “natives”. On the contrary, it is worth asking about the experience of the people with whom you will work, and the traditions that exist in the team. To receive attention to yourself, you must first show it to others. Therefore, ask questions, listen to the answers, clarify and clarify points that you do not understand, thereby demonstrating that you are open to contact and mutual exchange of information.

Allow yourself to be interested


If your goal is to attract attention, do not be shy to show off your strengths and do not be afraid that your shortcomings will be noticeable. Don't hide. Let others see your reactions and your imperfections in something. If you are constantly tense and constrained, others may, out of noble intentions, leave you alone and stop noticing you altogether, so as not to put you in an awkward position. You can graduate with honors from a prestigious educational institution, get a great job and cope with your responsibilities more than perfectly, but unlike less promising colleagues, you will absolutely not move up the career ladder. And the reason for this may be that you behave so inconspicuously at work that they simply forget about you. And how could you get a promotion if you are a ghost at work?

Use stereotypes


Nobody canceled the stereotypes. That is, no one can cancel the fact that the attitude to the world is formed under the influence of certain social experiences, as a result of which a person pays special attention to some ideas and completely ignores others. This property can be used to achieve success. And there are two options: either adapt to the settings accepted in a given environment, or try to change them and adapt them to yourself. The simplest technique for such transformation may be repetition. If you want an idea that is important to you to be accepted, for example, by your management, then it is worth repeating it often and in an accessible form. We're not forcing anything, but what's stopping you from trying?

Keep your distance


Intrigue is the best way to fuel interest, so you shouldn’t simply reveal everything about yourself to your colleagues, classmates or management. Let some of the information about you be securely hidden, then everyone will have the opportunity to think about it, and believe me, everyone around you will take advantage of this opportunity, which means that the attention directed to you will not weaken. And how you use this attention will depend only on you.

Subvert the foundations


People always pay special attention to what does not meet their expectations. This is explained by the human need to find out what is behind a given event - a threat or a favorable development of events. In scientific circles, this is called the theory of shattered expectations. The more an event breaks the pattern, the more interesting it becomes. Therefore, to attract the attention of the person you want, surprise him. We hope that we do not need to clarify that surprise should be pleasant.


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