Dad loves daughter a lot pros and cons. Family model: "daddy-daughter"

We all know that raising boys and girls is different. The father's approach in raising his daughter and son is especially different.

MAY 2015

LOOKING FOR THE BEST DAD

For a son, dad is an example of masculinity, an example of building a family with a woman, an entrance ticket to the world of men.

For my daughter, this is the first experience of a man, a defender. Dad is responsible for how confident a woman his baby daughter will become.

They say that a man always wants a son, but loves a daughter more. However, as life shows, a real dad will love his child regardless of gender.

Everyone needs love, only a little different - for a boy, the strictness (not to be confused with punishments and cruelty) of the father is more important, and for the girl - tenderness.

Do you have a son or daughter in your family? Or maybe a boy and a girl? Two girls and one boy or vice versa? It's not that important. It is important to talk about the role as father of a son or father of a daughter.

Dear mothers, you can ask your men questions and write a blog from their words. If dads decide to do it themselves, we will only be happy.

Members who have already competed for the title of "Best Dad" in February, March and April can also submit blogs in May, because now a new, exciting task awaits you.

PAP'S ATTITUDE

TO EDUCATION OF SON AND DAUGHTER

What should dad give to his son, and what to his daughter: what qualities should be instilled in a boy, and which ones in a girl?

What is dad already doing now to achieve the desired result?

Is dad ready to go fishing with his daughter and teach her to drive a car, and with his son to draw and cook, or is this “not a woman's” or “not a man's” business?

What would a dad let his daughter do but never let his son do, and vice versa (try to make a two-column list)?

Should punishments and rewards be different if children are of different sexes?

What are the pros and cons of raising girls and boys from a dad's point of view?

ATTENTION! If you have only one baby in your family, then you can include your point of view on raising a child of the opposite sex in your blog.

PRIZE FUND

*Every month from February to June, someone will receive a title and, of course, gifts.

*Looking forward to blogs about dads and from dads or moms every month, increasing dad's chances of getting the title of "BEST DAD".

* Both future and young fathers can take part in the competition.

ONCE A MONTH WILL BE DELIVERED

Dinner at the Lighthouse Grill

Jomas iela 63, Jūrmala, Latvia
+371 26360603
[email protected]

www.lighthousegrill.lv

For 10 years now, in Jurmala, in the heart of Jomas Street, it has been delighting visitors with delicious dishes, drinks and excellent service. This year the grill bar has undergone a grand renovation and now it has a new interior and menu. Lighthouse prefers environmentally friendly products grown in Latvia.

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in the nomination "Sympathy MK"

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Deciding whether to have (or buy) a child - a boy or a girl - can be the most important thing in your life. But thanks to MAXIM magazine, you definitely won't miss! And if you do not agree with something, then we have an offer!

I

The growing son largely repeats the path of his father, only this is a version with an upgrade. You can let him watch the same films that he grew up watching, let him read the same books, even uncover the German 16-mm railway walled up in the attic. The daughter will not be imbued with enthusiastic stories about how you watched Commando for the first time, and about how scary Cthulhu was portrayed in Soviet school textbooks.

II

You can enjoy something for which you yourself are already too old, but just right for your son! No time to play Fallout 6, and your hands are not the same anymore? It doesn't matter, buy the game, and let him play, that is, the son. You watch the process, give advice, gain impressions. As if he played himself, but not a bit tired!

III

When the son grows up and they no longer require a passport from him, he can be sent on the most important missions - for example, to buy beer while you and your friends listen to the anthems before the start of a football match. Here you try to send your daughter for beer - it will be an incredibly difficult trick, even asking is inconvenient. And will the daughter bring a lot of beer?

IV

The son will not call at two in the morning from a party and ask him to come pick him up by car, because for boys a night taxi is not at all as scary as for girls. In addition, he will soon carry you himself, as he will hand over the rights. And he is also able to drag a suitcase from the station home on his own, without the help of the Almighty.

V

When your son brings classmates home, you can afford to walk around the house in sweatpants, and even with a bare belly. If you were your daughter’s classmate in their place, you (in your own home!) would be extremely uncomfortable, you would have to dress up and pretend that you always have a tie at home and are clean-shaven.

VI

And your own male guests in the company of your son will feel much more relaxed than with your daughter. In addition, no one has canceled point III.

VII

But what a savings! Previously, you could leave your son to wear your cap, razor and motorcycle. Now you buy one set of games for the console for two and install the same paid applications on smartphones. Savings are much more than on wearing shoes.

VIII

No one canceled the eternal sons of values: going to football, going fishing, going hiking. Your last name will remain with him. And he will hold the nail with his fingers while you knock on the hat with a hammer.

IX

The growing son very quickly begins to introduce the orthodox father to new trends. He is always happy to tell you what smartphones everyone buys, what action films everyone watches, what is worth reading from science fiction, listening to heavy metal, and what eats less fuel - the new Nissan GT-R or the Mazda 3.

X

When the child is tired, it is easier to start the procedure of gaining sovereignty with the son: “You are already twelve years old, son! It’s time to earn money for women, an apartment and the Internet on your own!” You look, the lad will go to work, he will cease to loom before his eyes from morning to evening. Of course, you can also get rid of the girl, but you need to look for the groom. And where can you find a good groom now - with a salary and a residence permit in the district center?

P.S. Many happy parents also like to celebrate the fact that the son will never (most likely) get pregnant and therefore the father’s soul is much calmer. However, it should be noted that such a serious plus is unfavorably offset by the minus that the son, unlike the daughter, always hangs the curse of military conscription.

Gathered thoughts together.

For a better understanding - I'm 34 years old, my wife is the same age, they gave birth to a child at 32 years old. Engaged in careers + completed their housing. Pah-pah-pah - pregnancy and childbirth went well and the child himself is healthy. Therefore, girls who are worried that at 25-27-30 you have no children are still ahead, do not worry, look for a better worthy man. It is not worth giving birth to speed.

I did not want children for a long time - I thought that they were screaming and stinking creatures that turn off your life for 15 years. I admit - this was a very big mistake on my part. But you can understand what “your child” is only when he appears. Theoretically, there is nothing to compare with. Just imagine that someone was born thanks to you, for someone you are the only protection and support in the world, and this someone loves you on a completely different level than your wife or parents. Well, if it’s completely primitive, then imagine that your cat becomes healthier and smarter every day and turns into a real “bro” for life.

So the father is sitting with the child.

Difficulties:

1. Common complexity for moms and dads on maternity leave. What is most exhausting and for which I was not very ready - you exist as a radar station. You constantly monitor what the child is doing - every minute you need to know what he is doing and correct if he or she is trying to harm himself. A child can harm himself with anything - fall out of the blue, bite something off, scratch himself, spill himself, etc. You can’t save everything and you can’t calculate everything. When my daughter refused purees, I had to master the Heimlich maneuver to perfection. she choked on absolutely everything. Yesterday's example - I was away for 4 minutes (sorry) to go to the toilet, I go out - the child lies, suffocates, began to turn blue - it turns out I put the lid of fruit puree "Frutonyanya" into my mouth. Well, they make it big and with holes, but for me, time just stopped at that moment. Flew up, pulled out. It would be better not to know what would happen if I stayed in the toilet for a minute longer or if the lid had a slightly different configuration. You can compare the sensations of the “radar” with a traffic jam in Moscow - it seems like you are dragging along a straight line at 30 kilometers per hour, but at any moment some thread of the “gedendvagen” on the left or right can stick your nose in front of you without a turn signal. he suddenly needs to readjust.

2. Because of the first point, time remains pts. little for anything other than a child. This is also a common problem. That is, you need to cook something to eat or wash the dishes, but at the same time you need to follow the small ones. Taking a shower is a pipe dream. This is possible only when the wife comes home from work. It's like at work in the office, only your boss sits near your computer all the time and looks at the monitor. I just decided to watch / read something for myself - get a reprimand (well, in my case, a roar). At the same time, my child is quite calm. It's just that at the age of two there is still no understanding that parents have their own interests.

3. Nerves give up. Also common. On a day, a child several hundred times attracts your attention for any reason - she remembered something, scared something, liked something, broke something, saw a balloon in a cartoon, mimicked how you speak on the phone - “dad” dad" "dad" "dad" endless. Here is an example: you drive 100 kilometers, and from the back seat “dad”, “dad”, “dad”, you carefully turn around on the go - and they give you a booger from your nose - “fu, what”. I noticed that it began to start very quickly. Where previously it was possible to slow down the conflict, I am directly drawn into a fight. It’s good that I’m no longer a boy and I understand that there is a Criminal Code of the Russian Federation and you can’t start a fight first. But the conflicting side is usually also in no hurry to respond to my 90 kg with actions. By the way, this does not apply to a child - at least a hundred, at least a thousand times you answer all appeals, because it is important for her. Because I am the only source of information for her about this world.

Now let's move specifically to the papal minuses:

1. "Slanting glances." They happen - even some comments on the previous post show this. My neighbor is sure that I am a slacker and just can't find a job. This is never said to the face, but is read between the lines. Everything is clear here, so I will not paint in detail.

2. Career. This is what worries me the most right now. I started going to interviews, but even where I’m ideally suited by experience, they don’t take it. "You've been freelancing for so long, you won't be able to adapt to office requirements." There is no understanding that my schedule with my child is tougher than any office one. The future is shrouded in darkness))) retraining is not yet an option - it is impossible to sit down at a computer during the day - the child bangs on the keyboard, asks for music, etc. And in the evening, when the wife comes home from work, sometimes you just want to sit in silence in the corner alone for a couple of hours. Because your shift lasted 12-14 hours. There is no study here. Yes, with age, this problem will go away - the child will be able to do his own thing without your participation.

3. Money. I always tried to earn at least a little, but more than my wife. Since 2011, salaries have been six figures, and now my income is 0 rubles 0 kopecks. psychologically it is hard. We must pay tribute to my wife - she will never reproach me that we live on her money. But still, the feeling is unpleasant. Especially when you pay with your wife's card in the store - and the sellers see it (the name is embossed).

I sincerely admire those mothers who sometimes sit with more than one child, manage to cook, clean, go to the clinic by public transport. This is level 80 for me. It’s easier for me - in terms of food - the mother prepares the main food for the child for a week on weekends. I can do something simple - pasta, potatoes, mashed potatoes from a jar, boil chicken. There is a car under my ass - so I don’t need to give up a place in transport. The wife does not require dinner after work - she will have a snack with what she has or cook for herself.

Now the benefits of sitting with a child. They may be smaller, but they are more global.

1. You see how your daughter is growing. In constant contact with her, you influence her character, habits, interests. This is very important and interesting. I taught her to watch football and play with me - we kick each other's ball. She calls it “apap”, rejoices at the goals. Will she easily score a goal against any 5 year old nerd boy?. (by the way, good luck to Rostov and Krasnodar today) She can stand up for herself - on the playground, overly obsessive children have already received lyuli from her. But she is never the first to fight.

2. Daytime sleep. Oh those sweet 2 hours! You get used to it very quickly

3. I began to understand and feel life better. I began to better understand people, their motivation. Processes in life, relationships between children and parents. Previously, if in a thriller one of the characters was a child, then I waited for him to be beaten and he would not interfere with tough guys to administer justice. Now any violence against children causes completely different emotions. Maybe if all men had beloved children, then there would be much less violence in the world. I don’t understand how someone can offend a child – you really want to kill for this.

Thank you all for your attention.

For a woman, the birth of a child, especially the first, is an event of grandiose proportions. Nothing in her life will be the same as it was before. Let's try to take a sober look at the situation when the first baby appears in the life of a young mother, and evaluate some of its pros and cons.

PROS

The child will become one of the closest or even the closest person to you. For the first months and years, you will most likely be almost inseparable. His needs and desires will become your needs and desires. A child is someone who can always (well, or almost always) be hugged and pressed to the heart.

You will have a sense of self-fulfillment in such an area as motherhood. Now you can be proud that you have your little miracle.

The presence of a child teaches a young mother the regimen, organization and logistics, even if she was quite far from all this before the birth.

With your baby, you will spend a lot of time on the street. Daily walks and fresh air will positively affect the state of your body.

Despite the fact that with the advent of a baby in the family, a woman’s sleep pattern changes a lot, she has such a luxury as daytime sleep. Not all adult working people have the opportunity to sleep during the day.

A breastfed baby forces mom to choose fresh and healthy foods for her diet. It also has a positive effect on her body.

A child is an opportunity to observe the development of a person from the very beginning.

If earlier on the streets you were not allowed to pass by those who wanted to get to know you, then with the baby you can finally breathe easy. The need to come up with a polite refusal every time will disappear by itself.

With a child, you begin to be interested in and master new industries for yourself - child development, child psychology, slings, baby swimming, breastfeeding, etc.

With a child, you will often be given a seat on public transport, sometimes you will be skipped the queue in stores, and various discounts will be made.

MINUSES

After giving birth, a woman finds that her time for herself has disappeared almost completely. Many elementary things become difficult: going to the toilet, going to the store, cooking, house cleaning. Only over time, mother gradually regains her personal time bit by bit.

Often after childbirth, severe fatigue is possible. Sometimes it takes several months to restore yourself and regain your strength. All this will need to be done without leaving the child.

With the advent of the baby into the world, a young mother will need to learn to sleep according to a new regimen for her, adjusting to the regimen of her child. Very often mother is accompanied by lack of sleep.

Postpartum depression is not uncommon, and many factors can trigger it.

As a rule, with a baby in her arms, a woman does not have the opportunity to earn money herself, especially in the first months. A young mother has to be financially dependent on her husband and relatives.

Often, after childbirth, women lose their former physical form, can become seriously ill, or simply get very fat / thin.

With the birth of a child, many friends and acquaintances suddenly disappear from your life. In such a situation, it is easy to find yourself alone and isolated.

Relationships in a couple due to chronic fatigue and the almost complete lack of time to communicate with her husband may not change for the better. After the birth of a child, divorce is not uncommon.

An endless life awaits a young mother with a child in her arms: washing, cooking, mopping, etc.

With a child, you will not have the opportunity to go to any event you like, to the cinema, to a museum, etc. We'll have to look for places more suitable for being there with the baby.

Of course, the pros and cons of having a baby are different for each of us. But maybe my list will help you take a fresh look at your everyday life with children.

• There are a few pluses ... speculative superimposed on very specific minuses. You were left without money, friends and health, but with depression, an endless life and, uh ... the opportunity to observe how a person develops. Why do I want to hug and cry?

• 

Most young mothers dream of the time when they can go out again work. They get bored with routine and monotony. Of course, any mother loves her baby very much, but the opportunity to return to normal society and social life still prevails. Believe me, constant conversations in the sandbox about children with the same mothers sometimes cause real disgust. But then the question arises, who will sit with baby? Naturally, you can ask grandparents, or hire a nanny. However, most often these options are not suitable for parents. What to do? The answer is simple - dad can sit with the child.

According to the law, not only mother, but also other family members can take care of a baby up to three years old - first of all, father. At the same time, the one who sits with the child can stop this activity at any time and transfer the remaining vacation to another relative. Yes, do not forget that this leave is not a decree - maternity leave, which lasts 140 days. The decree is not transferable and is exclusively mother's leave.

Naturally, this is all wonderful. But not every man will agree to become temporary housewife. Many men are simply not ready for such activities. In this case, husbands begin to come up with a lot of excuses: this is not accepted in our family, the mother should look after the child, and so on. If you still want to go to work soon and send dad on maternity leave, you need to convince him and list all the advantages of such a vacation.

Pros:

material benefit.

If your man is experiencing temporary difficulties on work, and they promise to pay you a full salary and promise significant bonuses, then in this case the whole family wins, especially its budget;

Understanding a woman.

On this vacation, the husband will be able to feel himself in the place of his wife, who not only takes care of the child, but also does household chores. economy. Perhaps such a role reversal will help a man better understand his wife and respect her work;

Rapprochement of the baby with the father.

When a man is with a child all day, he will be able to learn understand his. Any of his actions will be sensibly regarded, and not perceived as a whim of a baby. A man will no longer stand with a thoughtful face, and wonder why his child is crying so bitterly;

Every man is a child at heart.

It is well known that men- Big kids. Therefore, it will be much more interesting for a child to play with dad, who easily “falls into childhood” at any moment.

Well, did dad agree? However, not everything is so simple and wonderful, because you should not forget about the disadvantages of such a vacation.

Minuses:

A man by nature is not endowed with the ability to breastfeed. Mom will have to express milk before leaving for work, or switching to milk formulas that are not as healthy as natural mother's milk;

Many men do not have the talent to do several things at the same time, as they can do. women. And when you have a small child, you simply have to manage to do several things at the same time, and not in turn;

A man can feel out of place, especially on the street, when only women walk with strollers. In addition, he may not be understood by friends and colleagues who are not sure that such a “work” should be done by a husband. Also at home, a man can forget all his professional skills that he had before, which as a result may complicate his return to his previous job.

Today, there are more and more families where dad sits with children. Perhaps this is due to economic benefits. However, some men in raising children even find their own vocation.