A 10 year old child is interested. Psychological features of raising boys

Is your son 11-12 years old? Appreciate this golden time - right now his future relationship with you, his parents, his success in his chosen field and even his future profession are being laid! What happens to boys from 6-7 to 12-13 years old and how to live this period correctly with them, says psychotherapist Alexander Poleev.

There is a period in the life of boys when sexuality in all its aspects - from thoughts and emotions to actions - is latent, that is, hidden. This period lasts, at best, 7 years - from 6 to 13, at worst - only 5 - from 7 to 12. Throughout its entire duration, infantile sexuality (overwhelming the child between 3 and 6 years old) goes away, the erotic principle is dormant, and the boy’s attention is focused on the development of interests and skills, on contacts with peers of the same sex.

Latency period acquisitions

During these years, the boy is actively involved in the life of society, and - at the same time - the process of de-idealization of his parents, emotional and practical withdrawal from them begins. During the latent period, this process (absolutely natural and necessary) occurs slowly, without conflict, without harsh scenes or offensive words. By this moment, the values, attitudes, and behavioral stereotypes of the parents have become part of the boy’s personality; he perceives them as his own.

Usually boys during these years study successfully and - most importantly - are actively interested in something. This is the time for classes in clubs, sections, sports clubs. The sphere of communication expands sharply, the boy makes friends in class, in a circle, in the sports section, and these friends go to his home, and he goes to them. But children still gather in groups according to gender: girls with girls, boys with boys.

At the age of 11-12, the need and ability to complete the work begun is formed. Then, during adolescence, these abilities may also temporarily decrease or disappear. But if the latent and pre-adolescent stages are completed “correctly”, after adolescence, respect for parents, motivation to learn, the ability to complete things, and many other very useful character traits return to the young person.

Only boys

We, experts, consider the situation to be the peak of the latent period "sexual homogenization": the boy communicates only with friends of the same sex. Not only does he communicate with girls only when absolutely necessary, he practically does not talk about them either with his peers or with his parents, he simply does not mention them. And in the family, the boy turns more to his father, listens more attentively to his comments, although previously he communicated more with his mother.

Psychologists explain such a powerful “sexual homogenization”, such complete ignoring by the fact that there is a period (no longer than a year or a year and a half!) when the weight of boys increases, and the amount of the sex hormone, androstenolone, produced at this time by the adrenal glands and testicles does not increase at all. milligram. Thus, per unit weight of the child there is absolutely minimal amount of sex hormone, and also very weak. And the strong one, testosterone, is secreted in minute quantities during this period - less than in the first year of a child’s life.

Prepuberty - a foundation for the future

We, psychotherapists and sexologists, distinguish the last one or two years of the latent period into a certain separate stage, a separate period: pre-teenage. Both the inner world and the boy’s experiences, and his interests, and behavior, and the biophysiological processes underlying all of the above are significantly different from both the latent period and puberty.

The first sign of prepuberty: the interests that appear in a boy during these one or two years (and sometimes earlier, in the latent period) are very stable, in most cases they persist for life and often determine the choice of profession. This persistence distinguishes them from interests that arise in adolescence - the latter most often end at the same age.

At first glance, it seems strange that the formation of interests, be it a love of reading, traveling and traveling, the desire to make something with your own hands or study something outside the school curriculum, occurs so early: at 11-13, and not at 17-18 years. But this is only at first glance: the interests, inclinations, and hobbies of a “prepubescent” boy are his own, they are naturally generated by his character, his personal characteristics. Later, teenage interests are generated, and often imposed, by the teenage group, its values, its demands.

Numerous long-term studies show that 62-63% of boys choose a profession that was discussed in detail with their parents at the age of 11-13 years; then, in adolescence, they discussed other professions, but, having passed puberty, they returned to their previous interests. So we advise parents to be especially attentive to the interests of the boy at this age, to discuss with him more often and in more detail what he would like to do professionally, and what would exist only as a hobby - even if at the age of 12 such serious conversations may seem funny.

At this age, he makes some crafts (car models, for example), some drawings, collects something, collects something. In a couple of years, as a teenager, he will most often forget about all this. But the parents’ task is to preserve all this completely, so that the boy can look at it all and return to it all. The greatest expert on puberty, American psychotherapist Deborah Tannen, emphasizes: “The hobbies and interests of a 10-12 year old boy come from the depths of his soul, they are generated by his innermost interests and abilities. All later interests are imposed on him by the microsociety; behind them is the desire to please the “inner circle”.

Two more signs of prepuberty

The second sign of the onset of prepuberty seems to us to be a significant increase in motor activity: according to modern video observations, per day 11-12 year olds walk - or rather, run - a distance one and a half times greater than 6 months before. In other words, starting from the age of 10.5-11 years, the distance they travel during the day doubles. And their average movement speed also doubles!

The third important sign is increased curiosity coupled with increased attention to the conversations of adults: the boy listens carefully to the conversations of adults, especially if there are several of them, adults, which you have not observed before. He does not understand everything, but he closely watches the communication, asks many questions that are not always convenient and appropriate, and spies on parents and guests. But he rarely expresses his opinion. As a rule, he pays special attention to the visits of his mother’s friends or sister’s friends, in a word, to the communication of women with each other: he already has an interest in the opposite sex.

It is amazing that after a year or two, or even just a few months, with the onset of real puberty and an increase in testosterone to a level of 18 nmol/l and above, conversations between adults, conversations between adults and with him cease to be any interesting. Only conversations with peers, members of his “reference group” become interesting: they can last for hours, and even to qualified psychologists they seem like “talks about nothing.”

Body and hormones

Behind these three phenomena, three new phenomena in the boy's behavior, there are important biological changes. Until now, his growth and development were determined, of course, by male sex hormones. Chief among them was androstenolone, produced by the adrenal cortex and testicles, is a weak hormone that does not affect the sexual sphere itself. But gradually the pituitary gland begins to secrete very small doses of gonadostimulating hormone (gonadostimulating hormone), Leydig cells grow in the boy’s testicles, and they produce the “real” sex hormone - testosterone.

In this case, the testicles increase in volume, then the skin of the scrotum darkens and becomes folded, then hair begins to grow in the groin, around the genitals and in the armpits. Experts believe that the true beginning of puberty is an increase in the volume of the testicles. Changes in the scrotum, hair growth, and deepening of the voice occur only after the growth of the testicles. Important, often painful, changes begin in the testicles, adrenal glands, musculoskeletal tissue, and cardiovascular system.

Bone growth begins to outpace muscle growth, and after a year or two, during puberty, this advance is often accompanied by unpleasant sensations of tension and irritation, distracting from school, and in some adolescents giving rise to real dysphoria: depression with shades of irritation and anger.

If a 10-year-old boy is growing up in a family, parents are extremely interested in the psychology of education. It is not for nothing that this age is considered between childhood and adulthood. The child’s hormonal levels change dramatically or the prerequisites for changes in the physiology and psychology of the teenager are just being discovered. The task of parents is to help their son overcome this difficult time, emphasizing that change is normal, and grow up.

Adolescence is one of the most important, influencing the further development of personality, a critical period in a person’s life. Physiological and psychological changes, contradictory tendencies cause sudden changes in mood, impulsiveness in the child’s behavior, and sometimes inadequacy, an unexpected change of interests.

Adolescence is called the time of the second birth of personality. And this birth is not without pain. Adolescents suffer from misunderstanding on the part of adults, from confusion of feelings, contradictory intentions, interests, and aspirations. Adults suffer: children have become rude, withdrawn, and not frank. The world of a teenager is complex, contradictory, and full of constant change. But he is open to understanding. To be understood is the very first thing teenagers want.

A teenager cannot cope with the consequences of changes occurring in the nervous system, and looks for the cause in his environment - parents and friends. Parents irritate the child with their demands and requests; friends - incomprehensibility, inconsistency. Mental imbalance leads to a lack of stability in relationships with friends and adults. Friendship with “bad” company is also possible. In this case, you should not criticize your son’s friends or forbid him to communicate with them, because the child will do the opposite simply because a feeling of contradiction prevails. The task of parents is to tactfully and calmly explain to the child the advantages or disadvantages of friends, and their own, and lead him to certain conclusions. If a teenager independently formulates what a friend should be, it will be his own opinion.

From the age of 10, a transformation of the thinking process occurs. Abstract concepts such as friendship, love, betrayal and others are filled with real content for the child. He begins to notice that the people around him can say one thing and do something completely different. Understanding the contradictions in thoughts, words and actions, a growing person begins to be more critical of the demands of adults, often entering into conflicting relationships with them. This is more typical for boys, who by nature are more active and aggressive.

Personal and emotional development of boys

For this period, both positive (showing independence, embracing new areas of activity) and negative (including conflict, disharmony of character) aspects are indicative.

Developmental tasks that arise before a child at ten years of age and continue until the end of adolescence:

• formation of gender role identity;
• development of interpersonal skills, effective communication;
• changing family relationships based on emotional independence while maintaining material and moral support;
• development of abstract thinking;
• formation of adequate self-esteem and development of self-awareness;
• formation of value orientations and worldview.

The struggle to be like everyone else and at the same time stand out leads to emotional instability. The opinion of other children becomes more important to the son than the opinion of his parents. Boys assert themselves through friendship with older children, slang, rudeness or clowning, strength or helpfulness to a stronger person. This period goes differently for everyone. From the variety of requirements and norms of society, patterns of behavior, a teenager chooses those that will subsequently become the basis of his personality - a system of personal meanings.

The difficulties of raising a son

At this age, psychological monitoring reveals low self-esteem in children, rejection of themselves, their bodies and abilities, shyness, and lack of self-confidence. In relation to parents, a child can behave rudely and defiantly, this is how he tries to demonstrate his maturity and express accumulated experiences. He constantly tests his courage and willpower. Such changes in the son's personality inevitably require a restructuring - from the authority of obedience to equal partnership.

Parents have no choice but to come to terms with the fact that the child is growing up and moving away from the family. Control is necessary, but much softer and more persistent. The son must understand that there are certain boundaries that cannot be crossed in one’s actions. At the same time, he should have a certain freedom in choosing additional activities, friends, how to spend his leisure time, etc.

Communication with both parents is important. The mother will continue to provide the much-needed emotional warmth and care, and will develop courage and determination. At this age, the child strives to contact any man who happens to be nearby, by all means available to him. If the father or stepfather is not nearby, the mother needs to take care of the positive male influence on her son. This could be a grandfather, a caring neighbor, a sports coach, etc. Otherwise, the boy has a high chance of growing up soft and indecisive.

Advice from a psychologist to parents of teenage sons:

• Do not abuse punishments and prohibitions, find the reason for this behavior, remember that your son needs an individual approach.
• Show interest in your child’s hobbies, support him in any endeavors, try to be your son’s friend.
• In situations of conflict, do not start with criticism of the child, but try to understand the motive of his action and find a way out together.
• Identify the child’s strengths and qualities and develop them by giving feasible tasks. It is of great importance for a boy to experience happiness and joy from success.
• Help your son to be good, smart, kind, brave. Notice his masculine actions and believe in him; a teenager needs to feel significant, special, and needed. This will help build his self-esteem.
• Help your teenager develop his life goals, teach him to confidently defend his point of view in various situations.
• Treat your child the way you want him to treat you and others.

If parents respect their son’s personality, he will grow up to be a harmoniously developed person with self-esteem, successful, courageous and decisive - just like a real man should be.

According to experts, the “foundation” of personality is laid in a child under 10 years of age. After the transition of this trait, the upbringing of parents has a character that develops those aspects that have already been formed in their child. According to psychologists, ages from 9 to 12 years are considered prepubertal. The character of children changes somewhat and has its own distinctive characteristics. Responsible parents should know all these nuances so that the so-called “imitation of the educational process” does not occur when mom and dad leave the child alone with himself (playing cartoons for him, allowing him to spend endless time at the computer, and so on). It is this stage of a little person’s life that determines the direction of his development. For good or bad, it depends on the father and mother. The future course must be determined. The child requires increased attention.

Children at 9-10 years old move to a new stage of development

9 - 10 years - the beginning of the prepubertal period

Prepuberty generally goes smoothly for both parents in equal parts. The child is still accommodating and compliant. However, at this very moment the mechanism of alienating the child from the family is launched. Peers become more and more authoritative, the child joins a certain group of children (be they leaders, outsiders, informals, athletes, and so on).

The influence of parents flows away in small drops. At the age of 9 - 10 years, a boy or girl goes through a journey during which they turn into teenagers - complex, nervous, restless children.

Communication with peers comes to the fore

The child loses the ability to fully control his emotions. This critical age is the basis for what a child will be like in later life. The foundation has already been laid earlier, up to 9 years. But the direction that will be chosen during this period is decisive.

Development of children 9 - 10 years old

As a rule, children of this age are quite erudite, inquisitive, have a sense of humor, love spending time in large companies of peers, easily make acquaintances and find a common language with others, have excellent fine motor skills (the child writes and draws well), and are responsible in household chores (willingly perform household tasks, tend to independently maintain cleanliness and order). At this age, children are truly exemplary. Both boys and girls are equally diligent.

School achievements become very important

Features of the educational process

It was previously stated that at this age the authority of the family circle gradually decreases. Interpersonal relationships among peers come to the fore.

At this moment, it is important for parents to maintain their child’s self-esteem and in every possible way instill confidence in their own abilities, celebrating his uniqueness and individuality. This position has nothing to do with unreasonably encouraging any actions of a child. Mother and father should praise the child for his useful, good actions. Parents need to find their child’s strengths and celebrate them in him. Both the father and the mother should equally be actively involved in raising the child.

Mom's support is more important for daughter

This support contributes to several positive trends:

• the child feels more comfortable in society;
• it is easier for him to withstand battles with external pressure;
• the child is full of enthusiasm and self-confidence, which means his successes are multiplied;
• connection with the family is not lost: the boy or girl understands that his/her parents are his/her friends, his/her reliable support;
• the level of trust between family members increases, parents will always be aware of the child’s events, thereby being able to correct the course of events and prevent the negative consequences of various situations.

Children of this age try in every possible way to blend in with their peers: in terms of external parameters, areas of interest, and demeanor. If dad and/or mom try to limit the freedom of choice of a 9-10 year old child, then the child will be hostile to such attempts. Therefore, it is so important to give that freedom, that breath of independence and independence that will allow the child to feel almost like an adult, he must give him wings. Elementarily, by assigning some responsibilities around the house to the child (cleaning his own room, washing dishes or watering flowers in a timely manner), parents will receive a return. The child will be sincerely grateful for such trust and will try in every possible way to live up to expectations, since he was given the opportunity to be equal in the family circle.

Father's support is the main thing for a 9-10 year old boy

There is one important nuance: you cannot set time limits and constantly remind or, even worse, reproach the child for untimely or improper performance of his duties.

Such comments can completely discourage desire and lower self-esteem.

At this age, children pay great attention to their performance at school. They worry about their studies, and competition between students is increasing. Junior grades are already behind us, the workload is increasing. Parents should pay special attention to this point.

It is necessary to communicate with teachers more often and help the child with homework.

Children's pranks at this age do not cause harm

And, perhaps, the last aspect is the features of the educational process in unfavorable situations when the child is naughty. Prepubescent age is characterized by minor pranks that do not cause significant harm to others. Most often, young people like to climb fences, trees, and run in the park without a break. Even if a dirty trick has occurred (for example, hooligan doorbells or something else was committed by a child), then you should not scold the child. Even if his upbringing is condemned by strangers. It is necessary to maintain a trusting relationship with him. The best way out of the situation is to give the youngster an active boost through games in which as many people as possible will be involved (searching for treasure in the garden, for example). It is best to introduce boys to some kind of sport.

Sex education

And let parents not think that 9 - 10 years is too early to explain to their child the nuances of sexual life. In modern, progressive times of technology and the Internet, children receive most of their information from there. Parents cannot monitor the quality of such information. In the vastness of the World Wide Web there is a lot of “slag” that distorts reality and can raise a healthy child into a degraded individual who has practically no upbringing at all. Therefore, it is better to tell your son and/or daughter in normal language about what sex is. At this age, the child will adequately perceive all the information (if it is presented correctly).

Sex education is the task of parents

It is important for parents to keep the conversation in a serious tone, without presenting the topic in a funny light.

The boy and/or daughter must clearly understand what it is and what consequences can occur with premature initiation of sexual activity. Sex education today is an integral part of the education program itself as a whole. Girls need to be explained what menstruation is and how to behave on the first day. Boys need information about wet dreams.

You can’t leave sex education to chance - the Internet will teach you unnecessary things

Culture of behavior

9 - 10 years is the age when the child is still pliable and can unquestioningly accept parental instructions. There is no need to miss the chance to develop good manners in a small person and be able to behave in society. Upbringing and behavior in society are the calling card of a person. It would be a good idea to teach your child the rules of etiquette (at the table, in public places). It is no more difficult to teach this to boys than to teach it to girls. This includes explanations about the dangers of nicotine, alcohol and drugs. Promoting a healthy lifestyle to a child from childhood (or even better, showing and proving it by example), there is a high probability that he will adhere to it. At the age of 9 - 10, children are very persistent and purposeful, therefore, if they have convinced themselves that drinking and smoking are bad, it means that they are unlikely to go against their beliefs in the future. The child will learn useful tips for himself; the psychology of children of this age is exactly like this.

Parents should instill good manners from childhood

Preparing for everyday life

At this age (9 - 10 years), children already have basic skills in handling household appliances and are introduced to household chores. This area needs to be expanded. Dangerous household appliances (gas stoves, water heaters, high-watt appliances) deserve special attention. Safety rules must be outlined to the child. Also, it is necessary to explain the rules of conduct in emergency situations (where to call, what further actions to take). Thus, a foundation of responsibility and a sense of duty is laid in the offspring, thereby making the child responsible and serious.

Useful advice for parents: the child’s psychology is such that perception requires serious conversations on this topic at this age.

At this age, children should be involved in household chores.

There is no need to become like the game presentation that is offered in books. The child must understand the seriousness and danger of some household items.

Problematic points

During prepubertal age, boys and girls may experience certain critical moments that are typical for children of this particular age. These include:

• low self-esteem;
• shyness;
• excessive imitation of idols.

Such problems can turn into a serious array of confusion. All three symptoms are closely interrelated. They say that the child does not believe in himself, does not love himself. He refuses public speaking, is reluctant to go to school, does not want to contact others, and is in a nervous state. Shyness manifests itself when meeting peers and adults.

Leisure activities at 9-10 years old should be controlled by parents

The child refuses to share his thoughts or talk about what worries him. In such situations, it is necessary to instill confidence in the child and give him the moral support that he so needs. A boy may doubt his physical abilities and strength, and girls may have complexes because of their appearance. You can work on his image, style, take care of the little details of his appearance, eliminate possible barriers when communicating with others (bad breath, untidy clothes). Any parent should be able to find the right approach and the child will return to normal life.

Advice for parents: a child needs approval of his actions, evaluation of his appearance, and recognition in society.

He needs praise and, at the same time, an objective look at himself.
Prepubertal age is not difficult compared to puberty. Although there are some nuances and minor difficulties, they are completely solvable. At this stage in the lives of boys and girls, the main task of parents is to correctly guide their offspring into the adult life of society so that he can adapt.

Physiology of a ten to eleven year old child

Ten to eleven years is the time preceding. This period proceeds differently for everyone, for some it is more or less painless, but for others this process is psychologically difficult. It is accompanied by both changes in appearance and character. And nothing can be done here, because you can’t argue with nature. Many children are embarrassed by the physiological changes happening to them, and the task of parents is to prepare the child for those metamorphoses that are about to completely change his body.

Just Marina

I’ll say right away that the child is not mine, but my close friend’s.
8 year old girl, 2nd grade.
been there many times!!! spotted taking money from father/mother
1) I found a stash in a book and took it for myself, they found 5000 bills on the child
2) the father left money for his wife, even if it was on the table, the child took it and returned it for 300 rubles. less, throwing the rest into mom's bag
3) mom returned 1000 rubles to dad - the child at some point took it from his father’s clothes pocket
4) the day before yesterday dad stayed with the child, mom was on a business trip (this is important)
the child pulled out 1000 rubles from his pants pocket, the father noticed quickly, because I went to the store half an hour after this moment, and this was all done in front of my father’s eyes, the child was fussing around next to the clothes (in the afternoon) (((
the conversation was serious (in the evening), without mom!!! (she was away)
The child did NOT return the money, she said that she spent it!!!
I can’t wrap my head around how an 8-year-old child can spend 1000 rubles in a couple of hours.
I told my friend that we need to look into it thoroughly, that this could be something serious...
I'm waiting for advice from the forum on what to do?
I was raised in such a way that you can’t take anything that belongs to others, including from bags/pockets, my child is the same ((((
If I don't answer right away, sorry
I'll read everything!!!

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Psychology of a child aged ten to eleven

Psychologically, by the age of ten, a child has noticeably matured. He is about to begin to rebel in any of its manifestations. It is very easy to lose authority. If you give up somewhere or, conversely, go too far, the thin psychological thread that connects you with your child will break. The paradox of this age is that a teenager is more susceptible to the influence of strangers than his own parents. And many, many people influence him.

As a rule, at ten or eleven years old, a child becomes more interested in the company of peers than in yours. You should not forbid your child to communicate with someone you don’t like, criticize friends, and generally excessively express negative emotions towards those around your offspring. You can be sure that everything will be done exactly the opposite - simply out of a sense of contradiction. Even if you don’t like someone in your child’s company, try to calmly tell him about it. The wording “I forbid you to communicate with him” is categorically not suitable. On the contrary, emphasize that you respect his choice, but ask him to pay attention to some character traits that, in your opinion, do not really correspond to the status of a boyfriend or girlfriend.

10 years is the right time for sports training. This option (provided that the place where you are going to send your son or daughter is proven and worthy) is close to ideal. At camp, your child is both independent and supervised. You can combine business with pleasure and send your child to a specialized camp - a sports camp or one that specializes in learning foreign languages.

Advice for parents of ten or eleven year old children

Try to come to terms with the fact that your child is gradually moving away from you, do not try to tie him to you by force. A certain degree of control is certainly necessary. But you shouldn’t respond to aggression with aggression. A child who actively asserts his own “I” can be convinced of anything only through negotiations. Give advice, but don't be intrusive. Be persistent, but don't push too hard - the effect will be exactly the opposite. Come up with some joint activities that will be interesting for both you and your child. It happens that the parents of a friend or girlfriend are more respected by the child than his own. The reasons can be very different: from the personal qualities of other people's parents to the fear that the child experiences in front of his own. At ten or eleven years old, a person is already quite mature, and relationships with him largely depend on the ability of those who are older to cooperate.

Psychological characteristics of children 9–10 years old

9-10 years is the next age period for a child. During this period, significant changes occur in the child’s psyche. By this age, he has already formed certain everyday concepts, but the process of rebuilding previously established ideas continues based on the assimilation of new knowledge, new ideas about the world around him. School education contributes to the development of his theoretical thinking in forms accessible to this age. Thanks to the development of a new level of thinking, a restructuring of all other mental processes occurs, according to D. B. Elkonin, “memory becomes thinking, and perception becomes thinking.”

A new development at the age of 10 is reflection. There is a transformation not only in the cognitive activity of students, but also in the nature of their relationship to the people around them and to themselves.

It is by the end of this age that students should develop other new formations: the ability to self-regulate, volition. After all, when starting to study in secondary school, the immaturity or insufficient level of development of these new formations will lead to difficulties in educational activities. New formations: voluntariness, reflection, self-regulation undergo only the initial stage of formation at this time. With age, they will only become more complicated and consolidated, and also spread not only to situations that are associated with the implementation of educational activities, but also to other areas of the child’s life.

Educational activity at the age of 9-10 continues to be the main activity of the student and influences the content and degree of development of the intellectual and motivational spheres of the individual. But at the same time, educational activity loses its leading importance in the mental development of the child. Its role and place in the overall development of the child changes significantly.

As soon as a child enters school, he just begins, “gets acquainted” with educational activities, and masters its main structural components. By the age of 9-10, the student masters independent forms of work. This age is characterized by intellectual and cognitive activity, which is stimulated by educational and cognitive motivation.

The development and success of a child will largely depend not only on obtaining new diverse knowledge, new information, but also on the search for general patterns, and most importantly, on mastering independent methods of acquiring this new knowledge.

Psychological studies of children of this age period indicate that at the age of 10 there is a significant decrease in students’ interest in studying at school and in the learning process itself. The most common symptoms of decreased interest are a negative attitude towards school in general, the necessity and compulsoryness of attending it, reluctance to complete educational tasks in class and at home, conflictual relationships with teachers, as well as repeated violations of the rules of conduct at school.

Reflection as a new formation of this age changes children’s view of the world around them; for the first time, they develop their own views, their own opinions, not always taking on faith everything that they receive from adults. But all this is still in its infancy and affects an area that is relatively more familiar to children - education.

Children experience strong emotional experiences, both positive and negative. This period is also characterized by the greatest changes in the child’s internal position related to relationships with other people, and especially with peers. The emotional state of a child most often begins to depend not only on academic success and relationships with teachers, but also on how his relationships with friends develop.

By the age of 9-10, peers and communication with them begin to determine many aspects of the child’s personal development. At this age, children begin to claim a certain position in the system of personal and business relationships in the classroom, and a fairly stable status of the student in this system is formed.

At the same time, the child sometimes finds himself in a situation of choice between the position of a “good student” and the position of a friend. It may happen that a “good student” does all the assignments on his own, does not cheat, and this does not prevent him from being a good friend at the same time. But is a “good student” able to remain a true friend if he prevents another from cheating or informs the teacher about the “misdeeds” of his classmates?

The likelihood of conflicts with peers and with teachers is high if two systems of directions: the position of the student and the position of the subject of communication will oppose each other and do not act in unity.

At the age of 10, significant changes occur in the nature of schoolchildren’s self-esteem. The level of self-esteem is subject to adjustment and reassessment by other children. The number of negative self-esteem increases, and at the same time the balance between negative and positive self-esteem is disrupted in favor of the former.

Children most often show dissatisfaction with themselves not only in communicating with classmates, but also in the process of educational activities. The critical attitude towards oneself is explained by the child’s need for a general positive assessment of his personality by other people and, above all, adults.

The child feels the need for a general positive assessment of himself as a whole, and the assessment should not depend on his specific results.

A person, no matter what age he is at, always needs to be accepted by other people. But at the age of 10 years, this need is most pronounced. And it becomes the basis for favorable personal development of schoolchildren in the future.

In this age period, the experiences of schoolchildren are not always understood by them and, more often than not, they cannot even always formulate their problems, difficulties, and questions. As a result, psychological vulnerability arises before a new stage of development.

The child shows dissatisfaction with himself, relationships with others, and is critical in assessing the results of his studies - and all this can become a stimulus for the development of the need for self-education, or, on the contrary, can become an obstacle to the full formation of personality and negatively affect the nature of self-esteem.

By the age of ten, every children's group or class has an informal leader who is recognized by everyone else. Outsiders, excellent students, children who run better than others or are generators of brilliant ideas or instigators of mischief also clearly stand out. At ten years old, children still choose peers of the same sex as friends. The influence of the family gradually decreases, and the child’s dependence on the opinions of friends becomes extremely significant.

A ten-year-old spends more time with his best friend, and he shares his secrets with him more often. Relationships with classmates at this age can become more complex and even tense in some cases. This mainly applies to girls. Boys tend to care more about what they do than who they do with.

The child communicates equally smoothly with his mother and father, and it is easy to come to an agreement with him. A 9-year-old may feel independent, but most psychology experts conclude that they still need the support of their parents. Sharp mood swings are noted at this stage of development.

The age of ten is characterized by the manifestation of greater independence and not the desire for guardianship and care from parents. 10 years is the “golden age”. Increasingly, children of this age are beginning to worry about their social status, whether their clothes are fashionable enough or whether their gadgets are modern and expensive enough. There is a loss of interest in family activities such as holidays or excursions, picnics, which they loved so much a few years ago.

Children's cognitive development begins with the development of their own ideas about the world. This is a time of change, responsibility for your actions. Children feel like they are adults and try to figure out most things on their own. Many children have serious discussions with adults about their future and begin to think about what subjects are best to study and what school they should choose.

Physical and emotional changes, especially for boys, are not as important as for girls. This is due to the fact that boys tend to mature physically a little later. At age 10, boys try to excel in various activities, such as sports, to prove their competitiveness.

If we talk about the development of a child of this age, then at 10 yearsthe child has excellent time orientation, reads with pleasure and for pleasure, has a sense of humor, has a positive attitude towards rules and makes sure that everyone follows them, has a heightened sense of justice, has developed self-care skills and is able to keep order in his room. May take responsibility for certain chores around the house. Has developed fine motor skills. He writes and draws quite cleanly. Enjoys joining a group of peers.

Summarizing all of the above, we can conclude that the psychological characteristics of children at the stage of finishing the primary school level (10 years old) are:

further physical and psychophysiological development of the child, providing the opportunity for systematic learning at school;

improvement of the brain and nervous system;

reflection, analysis, internal action plan;

a qualitatively new level of development of voluntary regulation of behavior in activity;

development of a new cognitive attitude to reality;

orientation towards a group of peers of the same age;

instability of mental performance, increased fatigue;

neuropsychic vulnerability of the child;

inability to concentrate for long periods of time, excitability, emotionality;

development of cognitive needs;

development of verbal-logical, reasoning thinking;

change in the ability to voluntarily regulate behavior.

The main tasks for the successful development of a child are:

disclosure of individual abilities and characteristics;

development of productive techniques and skills of educational work, “ability to learn”;

formation of learning motives, development of sustainable cognitive needs and interests;

development of self-control, self-organization and self-regulation skills;

formation of adequate self-esteem, development of criticality towards oneself and others;

developing communication skills with peers, establishing strong friendships;

assimilation of social norms, moral development.

Knowing all the features of a given age period, you need to be prepared for their manifestation on the part of children and at the same time realize that the child himself is experiencing difficulties at this age, since he has almost entered a new age stage called adolescence.