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What you need for a happy family life. Secrets of a happy family life

Why do some couples live happily ever after, while others constantly quarrel and end up breaking up? Is it possible to save a family and build an ideal relationship? Are there any secrets or tricks?

Secrets of a happy family life

We bring to your attention the top 10 secrets of a happy family:

Friends and partners. If the spouses are not only husband and wife, but also good friends for each other, then the marriage will definitely be strong and happy. What does it mean? Remember how old good friends communicate. They share secrets and experiences with each other, constantly joke (sometimes even vulgar or inappropriate), give each other advice and just always be there in difficult moments. Become friends with each other and you will see that you always have something to talk about. After all, you won’t get bored with a friend, right? But there is one caveat: even under the condition of such friendly love relationships, one should not forget about friends, since women need girlfriends, and men need comrades and friends.
Confidence. Without trust, a strong family cannot be built. What is trust? If you trust, you will not check your spouse's phone, call him constantly if he is late. Yes, it is not easy to gain trust, but it is so easy to lose it! How to be? If you still do not trust your partner, then evaluate his actions. Does your spouse lie to you, is he responsible for his actions, does he do what he says and promises? If yes, then maybe it's time to trust him? As for his trust in you, earn it. Do not lie, keep promises, do not hide anything from your husband. And take care of the trust, it's so easy to lose it!
Dare to forgive. Resentments not only prevent us from loving, being happy and enjoying life and every day spent with a loved one, but can also undermine our health. So do not hold grudges, learn to forgive. Of course, there are things that cannot be forgotten. But is there any point in living with a person who does things that are unacceptable to you? No. But you definitely don't need to be offended by trifles. If your spouse said something unpleasant in anger, forget about it. And remember one more important point: if you have forgiven a person, never remember what he did, never reproach him for this.
Do not try to change your partner and adjust to yourself. After all, you fell in love with him just like that, with all the oddities, shortcomings and "cockroaches in the head." Yes, you are probably wildly annoyed by your husband's habit of throwing socks. But is it possible to compare socks and your priceless love and a strong family? Close your eyes to the little things and accept the person as he is. Of course, if the spouse himself wants to change something in himself (for example, to get rid of some bad habit), by all means help him in this. But never push or force.
Not me, but we. Remember that the family is one whole. After all, you once swore to each other to be together in joy and in sorrow, in illness and in sorrow. So, first, try to eradicate your selfishness. If you think only about yourself, your partner is unlikely to like it. Secondly, make all decisions together. Even if you need to buy a washing machine or iron, check with your spouse. Thirdly, if one of the spouses has some kind of problem, then it should automatically become a common one. Fourth, never share things or responsibilities.
Compromise. Family life is indispensable without him. If you learn to make concessions, you will soon notice that there are much fewer disputes and conflicts. Sometimes you just need to give in so as not to offend your partner and not spoil the relationship. If you take into account the opinion of your spouse, then he will begin to reckon with yours. But it is important to understand that ideal relationships and a strong family are mutual concessions. That is, both must yield, otherwise one will always find himself in unfavorable conditions, and the other will consider that he is the head of the family and has the right to decide everything for everyone.
Learn to speak. It would seem, what is so difficult? But according to statistics, most spouses cannot have fruitful conversations. What's wrong? The first problem is the inability to listen. If your partner is speaking, refrain from commenting and correcting, wait until he speaks out, and then begin to answer. The second problem is the inability to speak. Learn how to build phrases correctly and speak in a normal language. Avoid harsh words, they can hurt a lot. The third problem is the inability to control emotions during a conversation. If you feel like you are "boiling", it is better to postpone the conversation and calm down. And the fourth problem is the unwillingness to talk. Both spouses must understand that if problems are not discussed, then they will not disappear on their own. If you learn to speak, you will notice that life has become much easier.
Sex. Yes, sex life is very, very important. If you believe the statistics (and you should believe it), then a certain number of people decide to cheat only because they are not satisfied with an intimate life with a partner. But such a problem in most cases is completely solvable. First, you need to be honest with each other. If you like or dislike something, be honest about it. Otherwise, how will your spouse understand what exactly gives you pleasure? Secondly, husband and wife should be more liberated. Stiffness in bed is inappropriate and completely unnecessary. After all, you are family! Why be shy and modest? And third, don't be afraid to experiment. Probably, what seems vulgar and even unacceptable to you will actually give you such pleasure that you have never experienced before.
Love each other. Many will think that this item is superfluous, because without the love of a family there cannot be a priori. But some love, but either they forget about it, or they are afraid to show feelings, but in the end, the other half begins to doubt their partner's love. Never be afraid to show your feelings! Kiss, hug, confess your love more often. But do everything from the heart, and not because it is necessary. After all, you love your spouse, right?
Look for common interests. If the spouses do not have common activities, hobbies and interests, then at one fine moment they may seem like strangers to each other. So be sure to find something in common. It can be films of a certain genre, a passion for some kind of sport, travel and much more. The general lesson will allow you to see features that were previously unknown. Also, sharing a hobby will help you spend more time together and get closer. In general, some solid pluses!

Remember the most important secrets of family life, and your marriage will definitely be strong and happy!

The purpose of marriage is to bring joy. It is understood that married life is the happiest, fullest, purest, richest life. This is the Lord's ordinance about perfection. The divine design, therefore, is that marriage should bring happiness, that it should make the life of both husband and wife more complete, so that neither loses, but both win. If, nevertheless, marriage does not become happiness and does not make life richer and fuller, then the fault is not in the marriage bonds themselves; guilt in the people who are connected by them.

Marriage is a divine rite. He was part of God's plan when He created man. It is the closest and holiest bond on earth.

After the conclusion of marriage, the first and most important duties of the husband in relation to his wife, and for the wife - in relation to her husband. The two of them must live for each other, give their lives for each other. Everyone was imperfect before. Marriage is the union of two halves into a single whole. Two lives are bound together in such a close union that they are no longer two lives, but one. Each bears a sacred responsibility for the happiness and the highest good of the other until the end of his life.

The wedding day should always be remembered and highlighted among other important dates in life. This is the day whose light will illuminate all other days until the end of life. The joy of marriage is not stormy, but deep and calm. Above the wedding altar, when hands are joined and holy vows are pronounced, angels bow down and quietly sing their songs, and then they overshadow the happy couple with their wings when their joint life path begins. Through the fault of those who are married, one or both, married life can be a misery. The possibility of being happy in marriage is very great, but we must not forget about the possibility of its collapse. Only a correct and wise life in marriage will help to achieve an ideal marital relationship.

The first lesson to be learned and practiced is patience. At the beginning of family life, both the virtues of character and disposition are revealed, as well as the shortcomings and peculiarities of habits, taste, temperament, which the other half did not suspect. Sometimes it seems that it is impossible to get used to each other, that there will be eternal and hopeless conflicts, but patience and love overcome everything, and two lives merge into one, more noble, strong, full, rich, and this life will continue in peace and quiet.

The duty of the family is selfless love. Everyone should forget his "I", devoting himself to another. Everyone should blame themselves, not the other, when something goes wrong. Endurance and patience are needed, but impatience can ruin everything. A harsh word can slow down the merging of souls for months. There must be a desire on both sides to make the marriage happy and to overcome everything that hinders it. The strongest love most needs to be strengthened daily. Most unforgivable is rudeness in our own home, towards those we love.

Another secret of happiness in family life is attention to each other. Husband and wife should constantly give each other signs of the most tender attention and love. The happiness of life is made up of individual minutes, of small, quickly forgotten pleasures from a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment and countless small but kind thoughts and sincere feelings. Love also needs its daily bread.

Another important element in family life is the unity of interests. None of the worries of a wife should seem too small, even to the gigantic intellect of the greatest of husbands. On the other hand, every wise and faithful wife will willingly take an interest in her husband's affairs. She will want to know about his every new project, plan, difficulty, doubt. She will want to know which of his undertakings have succeeded and which have not, and be aware of all his daily activities. Let both hearts share both joy and suffering. Let them share the burden of worries. Let everything in life be common to them. They should go to church together, pray side by side, together bring to the feet of God the burden of caring for their children and everything dear to them. Why don't they talk to each other about their temptations, doubts, secret desires and help each other with sympathy, words of encouragement. So they will live one life, not two. Everyone in their plans and hopes must definitely think about something else. There shouldn't be any secrets from each other. They should have only common friends. Thus, two lives will merge into one life, and they will share thoughts, and desires, and feelings, and joy, and sorrow, and pleasure, and pain of each other.

Fear the slightest beginning of misunderstanding or alienation. Instead of holding back, a stupid, careless word is uttered - and now a small crack has appeared between the two hearts that had previously been one, it expands and expands until they are forever torn from each other. Did you say something in a hurry? Ask for forgiveness immediately. Do you have any misunderstanding? No matter whose fault it is, don't let him stay between you for an hour. Refrain from quarreling. Do not go to bed with anger in your soul. There should be no place for pride in family life. You never need to amuse your sense of offended pride and scrupulously calculate who exactly should ask for forgiveness. Those who truly love do not engage in such casuistry, they are always ready to both give in and apologize.

Without the blessing of God, without the consecration of marriage by Him, all the congratulations and good wishes of friends will be an empty sound. Without His daily blessing of family life, even the most tender and true love will not be able to give everything that a thirsty heart needs. Without the blessing of Heaven, all the beauty, joy, value of family life can be destroyed at any moment.

Every member of the family should take part in the organization of the house, and the fullest family happiness can be achieved when everyone honestly performs their duties.

One word covers everything - the word "love". In the word "love" there is a whole volume of thoughts about life and duty, and when we study it closely and attentively, each of them appears clearly and distinctly.

When the beauty of the face fades, the sparkle of the eyes fades, and with old age wrinkles come or leave their traces and scars of illness, grief, worries, the love of a faithful husband should remain as deep and sincere as before. There are no standards on earth that can measure the depth of Christ's love for His Church, and no mortal can love with the same depth, but still every husband is obliged to do this to the extent that this love can be repeated on earth. No sacrifice will seem too great to him for the sake of his beloved.

There is something sacred and almost awe-inspiring in the fact that a wife, entering into marriage, focuses all her interests on the one whom she takes as her husband. She leaves her childhood home, her mother and father, she breaks all the threads that bind her to her past life. She leaves those entertainments to which she used to be accustomed. She looks into the face of the one who asked her to become his wife, and with a trembling heart, but also with calm trust, she hands him her life. And the husband is happy to feel this trust. This constitutes the happiness of the human heart for life, capable of both inexpressible joy and immeasurable suffering.

A wife in the full sense of the word gives everything to her husband. It is a solemn moment for any man to take responsibility for the young, fragile, tender life that has trusted him, and cherish it, protect it, protect it, until it wrests his treasure from his hands or strikes him himself.

Love requires special delicacy. You can be sincere and devoted, and yet in speech and action there may not be enough of that tenderness that wins hearts so much. Here's a piece of advice: don't show bad mood and offended feelings, don't speak angrily, don't act badly. No woman in the world will be more worried about harsh or thoughtless words that have flown from your lips than your own wife. And most of all in the world be afraid to upset her. Love does not give you the right to be rude to the one you love. The closer the relationship, the more painful for the heart from a look, tone, gesture or word that speaks of irritability or is simply thoughtless.

Every wife should know that when she is at a loss or in difficulty, in her husband's love she will always find a safe and quiet home. She should know that he will understand her, treat her very delicately, use force to protect her. She should never doubt that in all her difficulties he will sympathize with her. It is necessary that she never be afraid to meet coldness or reproach when she comes to him to seek protection.

You need to consult with your wife about your affairs, your plans, trust her. Maybe she doesn’t understand things the way he does, but she may be able to offer a lot of value, since women’s intuition often works faster than men’s logic. But even if the wife cannot help her husband in his affairs, love for him makes her deeply interested in his concerns. And she is happy when he asks her for advice, and so they get even closer.

It is necessary that the hands of the husband, inspired by love, be able to do everything. Every loving husband should have a big heart. Many who suffer must find help in a real family. Every husband of a Christian wife should unite with her in love for Christ. Out of love for her, he will go through trials in faith. Sharing her life, filled with faith and prayers, he will connect his life with Heaven. United on earth by a common faith in Christ, melting their mutual love into love for God, they will be eternally united in Heaven. Why on earth do hearts spend years growing together into one, weaving their lives, merging their souls into one union, which can only be achieved after the grave? Why not immediately strive for eternity?

Not only the happiness of a husband's life depends on his wife, but also the development and growth of his character. A good wife is a blessing from Heaven, the best gift for her husband, his angel and source of innumerable blessings: her voice for him is the sweetest music, her smile illuminates his day, her kiss is the guardian of his fidelity, her hands are the balm of his health and his whole life , her diligence is the guarantee of his well-being, her frugality is his most reliable manager, her lips are his best adviser, her chest is the softest pillow on which all worries are forgotten, and her prayers are his advocate before the Lord.

A faithful wife does not need to be a dream of a poet, or a beautiful picture, or an ephemeral creature that is scary to touch, but needs to be a healthy, strong, practical, hardworking woman, able to fulfill family responsibilities, and nevertheless marked by the beauty that gives the soul lofty and noble purpose.

The first requirement for a wife is fidelity, fidelity in the broadest sense. Her husband's heart must trust her without hesitation. Absolute trust is the foundation of true love. The shadow of doubt destroys the harmony of family life. A faithful wife, by her character and behavior, proves that she is worthy of her husband's trust. He is sure of her love, he knows that her heart is invariably devoted to him. He knows that she sincerely supports his interests. It is very important that a husband can entrust his faithful wife with all household chores, knowing that everything will be in order. Waste and extravagance of wives have destroyed the happiness of many married couples.

Every faithful wife is imbued with the interests of her husband. When it is hard for him, she tries to cheer him up with her sympathy, manifestations of her love. She enthusiastically supports all his plans. She is not a weight on his feet. She is a force in his heart that helps him to become better. Not all wives are a blessing to their husbands. Sometimes a woman is compared to a creeping plant wrapping around a mighty oak - her husband.

A faithful wife makes the life of her husband nobler, more significant, turning him with the power of her love to lofty goals. When, trusting and loving, she clings to him, she awakens in him the most noble and rich features of his nature. She encourages courage and responsibility in him. She makes his life beautiful, softens his harsh and rough habits, if any.

Some wives think only of romantic ideals, and neglect their daily duties and do not strengthen their marital happiness by this. It often happens when the most tender love dies, and the reason for this is disorder, negligence, poor housekeeping.

A woman is endowed with the gift of sympathy, delicacy, the ability to inspire. This makes her look like a messenger of Christ with a mission to alleviate human suffering and sorrow.

For every wife, the main duty is the arrangement and maintenance of her home. She must be generous and kind-hearted. A woman whose heart is not touched by the sight of grief, who does not seek to help when it is in her power, is deprived of one of the main female qualities that form the basis of female nature. A real woman shares the burden of his worries with her husband. Whatever happens to the husband during the day, when he enters his house, he must enter into an atmosphere of love. Other friends may cheat on him, but the wife's devotion must remain unchanged. When darkness sets in and adversity surrounds the husband, the devoted eyes of the wife look at the husband like stars of hope shining in the darkness. When he is crushed, her smile helps him regain his strength like a sunbeam straightens a drooping flower.

With the blessing of the quiet Heaven
Angels fly to us
When, numb from grief,
The soul suffers.

If knowledge is the strength of a man, then gentleness is the strength of a woman. Heaven always blesses the house of the one who lives for good. A devoted wife gives her husband the most complete confidence. She hides nothing from him. She does not listen to the words of admiration of others, which she cannot retell to him. She shares with him every feeling, hope, desire, every joy or sorrow. When she feels disappointed or offended, she may be tempted to seek sympathy by talking about her feelings to close friends. Nothing could be more destructive, both for her own interests and for the restoration of peace and happiness in her home. Sorrows complained about to outsiders remain unhealed wounds. A wise wife will not share her secret misfortune with anyone except her master, since only he can smooth out all disagreements and disagreements with patience and love.

Love reveals a lot in a woman that prying eyes do not see. She throws a veil over her shortcomings and transforms even her most unpretentious features.

As the charm of physical beauty fades with time in labor and care, more and more the beauty of the soul must shine, replacing the lost attractiveness. A wife should always be most concerned with pleasing her husband and not anyone else. When it's just the two of them, she has to look even better, and not give a damn about her appearance, since no one else can see her. Instead of being lively and attractive in company, and left alone, falling into melancholy and silence, the wife should remain cheerful and attractive even when she is alone with her husband in her quiet home. Both husband and wife should give each other the best of themselves. Her keen interest in all his affairs and her wise advice on any subject strengthen him for his daily duties and make him brave for any battle. And the wisdom and strength that she needs to fulfill the sacred duties of a wife, a woman can find by turning only to God.

There is nothing stronger than the feeling that comes to us when we hold our children in our arms. Their helplessness touches noble strings in our hearts. For us, their innocence is a cleansing power. When a newborn is in the house, the marriage is, as it were, born anew. A child brings a couple closer together like never before. The previously silent strings come to life in the hearts. Young parents face new goals, new desires appear. Life immediately acquires a new and deeper meaning.

A holy burden has been placed on their hands, an immortal life that they must preserve, and this instills in parents a sense of responsibility, makes them think. “I” is no longer the center of the universe. They have a new purpose to live for, a purpose great enough to fill their whole life.

“Children are the apostles of God,
which day by day
He sends us to speak
About love, peace, hope!”

Of course, with children, we have a lot of worries and troubles, and therefore there are people who look at the appearance of children as a misfortune. But only cold egoists look at children like that.

“Oh, what would the world suddenly become for us,
If there were no children in it,
Behind us is only emptiness
And ahead - only the shadow of death.

What do leaves mean to trees?
And light and air through them,
Thickening into sweet, tender juice,
They go to the trunks, feeding them.

As if the leaves in that forest -
For the world children; through their eyes
We perceive beauty
given by heaven."

It is a great thing to take responsibility for these tender young lives that can enrich the world with beauty, joy, strength, but which can also easily perish; it is a great thing to nurture them, to form their character—that is what you need to think about when you arrange your home. This should be a home in which children will grow up for a true and noble life, for God.

No treasures of the world can replace the loss of incomparable treasures for a person - his own children. God gives something often, and something only once. The seasons pass and return again, new flowers bloom, but youth never comes twice. Only once is childhood given with all its possibilities. Whatever you can do to decorate it, do it quickly.

The main center of the life of any person should be his home. This is the place where children grow up - they grow physically, strengthen their health and absorb everything that will make them true and noble men and women. In a home where children grow up, everything around them and everything that happens affects them, and even the smallest detail can have a wonderful or harmful effect. Even the nature around them shapes the future character. Everything beautiful that children's eyes see is imprinted in their sensitive hearts. Wherever a child is brought up, his character is affected by the impressions of the place where he grew up. The rooms in which our children will sleep, play, live, we must make as beautiful as the means allow. Children love pictures, and if the pictures in the house are clean and good, then they have a wonderful effect on them, make them more refined. But the house itself, clean, tastefully decorated, with simple decorations and with a pleasant environment, has an invaluable influence on the education of children.

It is a great art to live together, loving each other tenderly. It has to start with the parents themselves. Each house is similar to its creators. A refined nature makes a house refined, a rough person makes a house rough.

There can be no deep and sincere love where selfishness rules. Perfect love is perfect self-denial.

Parents should be what they want to see their children - not in words, but in deeds. They should teach their children by the example of their lives.

Another important element of family life is a loving relationship with each other; not just love, but cultivated love in the daily life of the family, the expression of love in words and deeds. Courtesy in the house is not formal, but sincere and natural. Children need joy and happiness just as much as plants need air and sunlight. The richest legacy that parents can leave their children is a happy childhood, with fond memories of father and mother. It will illuminate the coming days, keep them from temptations and help in the harsh everyday life when children leave their parental shelter.

Oh, may God help every mother to understand the greatness and glory of the work ahead of her, when she holds a baby at her breast, whom she needs to nurse and raise. As for children, the duty of parents is to prepare them for life, for any trials that God sends down on them.

Be committed. Respectfully accept your sacred burden. The strongest ties are the ties that bind a person's heart to a real home. In a real house, even a small child has its own voice. And the appearance of a baby affects the entire family structure. The house, no matter how modest, small, for any family member should be the most expensive place on earth. He should be filled with such love, such happiness, that no matter where a person then wanders, no matter how many years pass, his heart should still reach for his home. In all trials and troubles, the home is a refuge for the soul.

Willpower is the basis of courage, but courage can only grow into real masculinity when the will yields, and the more the will yields, the stronger the manifestations of masculinity.

There is no act on earth more suitable for a man than when a man in the prime of his life, like a small child, bows down with love to his weak parent, showing him respect and respect.

We know that when He refuses our request, it would be to our detriment to do so; when He leads us on a different path than we have planned, He is right; when He punishes or corrects us, He does it with love. We know that He does everything for our highest good.

As long as the parents are alive, the child always remains a child and must respond to the parents with love and respect. The love of children for their parents is expressed in complete trust in them. For a real mother, everything that her child is interested in is important. She listens to his adventures, joys, disappointments, achievements, plans and fantasies just as willingly as other people listen to some romantic story.

Children must learn self-denial. They won't be able to have everything they want. They must learn to give up their own desires for the sake of other people. They should also learn to be caring. A carefree person always causes harm and pain, not intentionally, but simply through negligence. It doesn't take much to show care - a word of encouragement when someone is in trouble, a little tenderness when the other looks sad, to come to the aid of someone who is tired in time. Children must learn to be helpful to their parents and to each other. They can do this without demanding undue attention, without causing others worries and anxiety because of themselves. As soon as they grow up a little, children should learn to rely on themselves, learn to do without the help of others, in order to become strong and independent.

Parents sometimes sin by over-anxiety, or by foolish and constantly irritating admonitions, but sons and daughters must agree that at the bottom of all this over-concern is a deep concern for them.

A noble life, a strong, honest, serious, charitable character is the best reward for parents for the tiring years of selfless love. Let children live in such a way that parents in old age can be proud of them. Let the children fill with tenderness and caress their fading years.

Between brothers and sisters there should be a strong and tender friendship. In our hearts and our lives, we must protect and grow everything beautiful, true, holy. Friendships in our own home, in order for them to be deep, sincere and cordial, should be formed by parents, helping souls to come closer. There is no friendship in the world purer, richer and more fruitful than in a family, if only to direct the development of this friendship. A young man should be more polite to his sister than to any other young woman in the world, and a young woman, until she has a husband, should consider her brother the closest person in the world to her. They must protect each other in this world from dangers and deceitful and disastrous paths.

An invisible Guardian Angel always hovers over each of us.

For every young person, life is especially difficult. When he steps into it, he needs the support of everyone who loves him. He needs prayers and the help of all his friends. Because of the lack of loving support, many young people lose the battles of life, and those who emerge victorious often owe this victory to the love of faithful hearts, which instilled hope and courage in their hours of struggle. In this world, it is impossible to know the true value of true friendship.

Each devoted sister can have such a strong influence on her brother, which will lead him, like the finger of the Lord, along the right path of life. In your own home, by your own example, show them all the sublime beauty of true noble femininity. Striving for everything tender, pure, holy in the divine ideal of a woman, be the embodiment of virtue and make virtue so attractive to everyone that vice always causes only disgust in them. May they see in you such purity of soul, such nobility of spirit, such divine holiness, that your radiance will always guard them wherever they go, like a protective shell or like an angel hovering over their heads in eternal blessing. Let every woman, with the help of God, strive for perfection. When your brother is tempted, then visions of such love and purity will appear before his eyes that he will turn away from the temptress in disgust. A woman for him is an object of either respect or contempt, and it depends on what he sees in the soul of his sister. Therefore, the sister should try to win the love and respect of her brother. She could do no more harm if she inspired him with the idea that all women are heartless and frivolous, craving only pleasure and wanting to be admired. And the brothers, in turn, should guard the sisters.

We are not fully aware of our power,
That every day we do good or evil.
An evil word killed someone
And good someone saved.

Words are small, actions are small,
Of those that we immediately forget,
We don't care about them at all,
And the weak break from it.

Attitude towards women is the best way to test the nobility of a man. He must treat every woman with respect, regardless of whether she is rich or poor, high or low in public position, and show her all kinds of signs of respect. A brother must protect his sister from any evil and unwanted influence. For her sake, he must behave impeccably, be magnanimous, truthful, unselfish, love God. Everyone who has a sister should cherish and love her. The power that she has is the power of true femininity, which conquers with the purity of her soul, and her strength is in softness.

Purity of thoughts and purity of soul - this is what really ennobles.

Without purity, it is impossible to imagine true femininity. Even in the midst of this world, mired in sins and vices, it is possible to preserve this holy purity. “I saw a lily floating in the black swamp water. Everything around was rotten, but the lily remained clean, like angelic clothes. A ripple appeared in the dark pond, it shook the lily, but not a speck appeared on it. So even in our immoral world, a young woman can keep her soul spotless by radiating holy selfless love. The heart of a young man should rejoice if he has a beautiful noble sister who trusts him and considers him her protector, adviser and friend. And a sister should rejoice if her brother has turned into a strong man who can protect her from life's storms. Between brother and sister there should be a deep, strong and close friendship, and they should trust each other. Let the seas and continents lie between them, their love will forever remain faithful, strong and true. Life is too short to be spent fighting and quarreling, especially in the sacred circle of the family.

Hard work, difficulties, worries, self-sacrifice, and even grief lose their sharpness, gloominess and severity when they are softened by tender love, just as cold, bare, jagged rocks become beautiful when wild vines wrap their green garlands around them, and tender flowers fill all the recesses and cracks.

I heard the word, quiet, gentle,
Like the breath of a summer afternoon
I took him so close to my heart
And remember him forever
In my heart, whose knock and beat
This word does not silence.
Until his last moments
May it continue to live in it.

Every beautiful thought that comes into the mind of a child subsequently strengthens and ennobles his character. Our bodies grow old against our will, but why shouldn't our souls always be young? It is simply a crime to suppress children's joy and force children to be gloomy and important. Very soon life's problems will fall on their shoulders. Very soon, life will bring them worries, worries, difficulties, and the burden of responsibility. So let them remain young and carefree as long as possible. Their childhood should, as far as possible, be filled with joy, light, and merry games.

Parents should not be ashamed of the fact that they play and play pranks with their children. Maybe that's when they're closer to God than when they're doing what they think is the most important job.

The songs of childhood are never forgotten. Memories of them lie under the burden of care-filled years, like delicate flowers under the snow in winter.

In the life of every home, sooner or later, comes a bitter experience - the experience of suffering. There may be years of cloudless happiness, but there will certainly be sorrows. The stream that has been running for so long, like a merry brook running in bright sunlight through winter meadows among flowers, deepens, darkens, dives into a gloomy gorge or falls down a waterfall.

In the solitude and silence of the monastery,
Where guardian angels fly
Far from temptation and sin
She lives, whom everyone considers dead.
Everyone thinks she already lives
In the Divine heavenly realm.
She steps outside the walls of the monastery,
Submissive to my increased faith.

No one knows what holy sacrament takes place in an infant who is destined to live on this earth for only an hour. He does not live it in vain. In this short hour, he can accomplish more, leave a deeper mark than others, living for many years. Many children, dying, bring their parents to the sacred feet of Christ.

There is grief that hurts even more than death. But the love of God can turn any trial into a blessing.

“Behind the cloud lies the starlight,
After the rain, the sunbeam shines
God does not have unloved beings,
He sends blessings to all His creatures!”

And so the life of the true home flows, sometimes in bright sunlight, sometimes in darkness. But in the light or in the darkness, she always teaches us to turn to Heaven as to the Great House, in which all our dreams and hopes come true, where bonds again broken on earth are united. In everything we have and do, we need the blessing of God. No one but God will support us during the great tribulation. Life is so fragile that any parting can be eternal. We can never be sure that we will still have the opportunity to ask for forgiveness for an evil word and be forgiven.

Our love for each other can be sincere and deep on sunny days, but it is never as strong as on days of suffering and grief, when all its previously hidden wealth is revealed.

To be honest, today humanity, unlike past years and even centuries, has begun to lose those moral principles and values that were laid down by our ancestors. We are not talking about mental degradation, but mentally the person has degraded to some extent compared to our previous relatives. Why did it happen? Scientific and technological progress, opposition to the established principles of life, the quality of life - everything leads to what humanity now has.

The moral principles of a happy family have long been lost, same-sex marriages have appeared, which generally contradict our mother nature and what a person was created for. Just think, if everyone starts dating only according to same-sex criteria, what will happen to our human race? No, it certainly won't disappear. Now there are many ways to have a child without the participation of male and female. You can get pregnant through all sorts of test tubes, surrogacy, and so on. But this is a complete contradiction of the prevailing foundations of life.

The second point in which the moral principle of the family has been lost is the statistics of divorce proceedings. In the modern world, getting married 2-3 times is becoming the norm, marriages that last a lifetime are much more amazing. Young people began to change their partners more and more often, such a phenomenon as virginity before marriage was lost. Many girls enter into intimate relationships from the age of 14. Theoretically, the body is ready to enter into intimacy, but in fact, 14 years is still the age of childhood. In particular, there will be a big psychological blow for those girls who have sex with a guy much older than themselves. Due to the fact that virginity has lost its value, marriages have become less and less frequent. Why marry a man if he can get acquainted with any girl who will provide him with sex on the 3rd date?

Another point is that the fact that the man is the head of the family, he is the breadwinner, and the woman runs the household has been lost. In today's world, women have to work on an equal footing with men to provide for their children and families with everything they need. Many women become like men, they don’t need family life, because they themselves earn money, why the extra hassle in the form of washing, cooking, cleaning and an unshaven husband who lays out his sides during a free minute on the couch. Most girls and women in our time marry only because without a man it will not be possible to have a child. But this is no longer a problem. Many women turn to special clinics where they can be fertilized artificially.

Secrets and values of a happily married life

Nevertheless, love still exists in the modern world and many marriages are concluded directly for love. But the joint life and life of the family can slightly undermine the power of love and lead to thoughts that it might be better to get a divorce altogether. What to do in order for marriage to bring joy and harmony:

1. Determining the head of the family will help to find happiness in the family.

A family that argues about which spouse is in charge is doomed to quarrels and reproaches. From time immemorial, it has developed so that the head of the family is a man. The woman runs the household and takes care of the members of this family. But in the modern world, more and more women are striving to be the head of the family, but it’s just not clear why. After all, a woman in her way is much more tender and weaker than a man. Does a woman, a fragile creature, really want to carry all the hardships herself and need families, and is not behind the strong back of her husband? What to do in a situation where there is discord in the family due to the fact that the partners cannot decide who is the head of the family:

The first thing a woman needs to do is give in. Let the man think that he is the head. Be smarter.
Secondly, it will be easier for you yourself because your man is the head of the family.
Third - it is not a woman's business to be the head of the family.

2. The contribution of a woman to the happiness of the family

A good and wise wife knows that she needs to acknowledge her husband's decision. No matter what his opinion is, a man will appreciate his wife's gesture in his favor, support from his wife. In this case, he will move mountains for the sake of his wife. Even if you have a different opinion that is opposite to your husband, support him in his endeavors, since any spouse will not want to argue with his beloved.

3. Children are flowers and the secret of family happiness

A child in a family helps to find harmony and joy, if both spouses desired this child, they love him and bring him up faithfully. It is necessary to start raising a child immediately from his birth. You should not assume that a newborn child does not understand and does not hear anything, so you can argue with each other in front of the child, and you can express yourself incorrectly - he is small, he will not remember anything. But babies are very intelligent from birth. They just haven't gotten the experience yet. What distinguishes a child from a cub of any animal? The fact that animals learn through their instincts, and a person in the process of growing up gains experience and knowledge. Therefore, it is very important that your child sees only the right actions, the right words, the right speech, feels love, care. In such a family, there will be no limit to happiness.

Top 10 secrets in family relationships

Specifically defined values for the family will contribute to the development of cohesion, a single spirit, harmony and great strength of this family in it. Below are the 10 core values for the family (if you wish, you can change them):

belonging to each family member. For any right family, it will be especially significant value that each member of the family is significant for everyone. The formation of strong family relationships is a wonderful phenomenon, but each individual should have free space and his own hobbies, and the family will be for him the place where unsuccessful actions will not matter, where you will be supported and always understood. It is necessary to develop such a value in the family as spending time together not only on forced occasions, but also just like that. Get out into nature with your family, relax together, visit interesting places. Then your family will unite and a sense of belonging will increase in it.
Flexibility. Despite the foundations and principles previously formed in the family, in some cases it is necessary to express flexibility in one's own decisions. Unwillingness to show a little loyalty in accepting or discussing any issues can provoke a lot of disaster in the family and a lot of resentment. The more loyalty will be shown in decision-making, the more prosperous life in the family will become. Imagine for yourself a situation where each family member will always insist on his own and believe that he is right in this situation. There will definitely not be happiness in such a family.
Family respect. Respect is the most significant value for family relationships. By respecting your partner, you will receive respect in return. A child who will grow up in a family where the main value will be the respect of his loved ones will receive all the most necessary from education and grow up as a full-fledged, versatile and multifaceted person. But isn't the happiness of the family in the fact that their children are brought up by good people? Surely this is happiness. The respect received during education will be shown in relation to you, parents.
Honesty. Another significant value that should be in every family. Honesty is the foundation for building any relationship. If there is constant lies in the family, then such a family will not live long. Because of lies, trust in the family will be lost, and without trust, good family relationships will not work. However, you should not overly criticize the one who admitted to you that he lied, lied in some situation. Criticizing the lies of your loved one in a furious manner, you risk that in the future the loved one will no longer open up to you, he will lie and insist on being right.
The ability to forgive. Of course, the ability to forgive and ask for forgiveness is also the most important value in marriage. Often, equating the words "it's okay" and "I forgive you" is considered the same. However, this is not quite true. Hidden resentment can spill out in a negative way on close people and accumulate in a big lump with other grievances. You need to be able to forgive, to be able to ask for forgiveness.
Generosity. Many people need to learn to give without expecting anything in return. Generosity is a manifestation of the human soul. And when giving something, you expect something in return, then this is self-interest. Selfish relationships will not be able to live long in one family. Know how to give and give just like that, for the good of a person.
Curiosity. This quality applies more to children. The value of curiosity is to tell, explain, and convey to the child in the family what is so curious for him. A versatile child in the family will grow up smart and perfect, and this will be happiness for parents.
A responsibility. The quality of responsibility is not characteristic of everyone, but everyone knows about the benefits of such a quality. Usually, the head of the family is responsible for all members. Such a quality should be a great value in every family.
Communication. As you know, communication brings people together. In families where communication is generally rare, there is nothing in common. Accordingly, can such a family live for a long time, in which there is nothing in common? No. Every family should have common interests, hobbies that will bring them together. Communicate more with your family. You can make such a tradition small in the family, in the evening, over a cup of tea, just talk and chat.
Traditions. Create a variety of traditions in your family. And most importantly, be sure not to break them.

Key conditions for happiness in family life

Among the key conditions for the formation of a happy family life, the following are presented:

It is necessary to detach materially and emotionally from the parental family or previous marriage ties. When creating your own family, you need to clearly understand that you need to invest a lot of money, soul and love in this family. The distinctness of the realization that you are no longer dependent on your parents, you and your half are a separate unit of society.
Complementary compatibility. What is this about? This is the position among children in one's parental family. For example, the husband was the eldest child in his family, and the wife was the youngest child in her family. This is what complementary compatibility is called. When the opposite happens, both the wife and the husband were older, conflict situations may develop in marital relations over "I am the head of the family, I make decisions for everyone."
. In another way, it is possible to refer to this item as an adaptation of stereotypes and attitudes in the parental families of the spouses. Such a fact can manifest itself in such exemplary situations: in the family of the spouse, the obligation to earn material resources is on the shoulders of the man, and the wife is obliged to manage the household. At that time, this was not the case in your wife's family, the duties between the father and mother of your half were divided equally. In this situation, you will have to come to some definite conclusion together in order to save your own marriage.
General vitality. In this paragraph, everything is clear, the spouses must live in separate housing after registration of marriage relations. It is not recommended for young families to live with their parents, as such marriages are often destroyed.
Feeling of love and respect, common passions and values. It has long been known that a successful marriage is based only on love and respect for each other. Specialists have determined that spouses are required to have specific roles in cohabitation, which include the following roles:

earner of financial resources for the existence of the whole family;
running a family farm;
responsible for the upbringing and care of the child;
children's educator;
sexual partners;
organizer of leisure activities;
responsible for maintaining relationships with loved ones.

Similar roles can be a huge number. If such roles in the family are not distributed, then the occurrence of frequent quarrels is quite acceptable.

The most basic thing that family life is fraught with is making decisions that will satisfy every member of the family. And in order for such decisions to be made, there are big pitfalls on the way that need to be removed together from the family path.

Never forget to ask your partner how their day went. These subtleties of communication will never lose their effect, even if they turn into a daily routine. At the end of the day, even if you are very tired, your partner will know that not only do you care about him, but you want to know all the details. And he will seek you to share them.
Quarrels happen. But they don't have to destroy everything. You can be madly in love with a person and also madly angry at him. Put out the heat of passion. Quarrels and verbal battles do not mean the end of a marriage. Couples who stay together choose friendship and peaceful resolution of conflicts. Remember the saying: a bad peace is better than a good quarrel.
Recognize that relationships come with some obligations. Perhaps you don't want to do everything your partner wants - go somewhere in the evening, watch football, or do some of his tasks. But you should know that your presence around makes him happy. So maybe it’s worth it to overcome your “I don’t want” for this and go towards his requests? All this will strengthen your union.
But be honest about which events your partner is required to attend with you and which they are not. Not everything has to be mandatory. Your partner is right to tell you that it is very important to attend all his family's holidays throughout the year, but he will survive if you turn down an offer to go to his friend's bowling party. Both of you must be fair to each other. Do not forget about small gifts - they are remembered for a long time. Pleasant little things play a big role in life, especially signs of attention. Does your partner like mint chocolate ice cream? Buy a package when you shop at the supermarket. This one will show him that you are thinking about him even while doing such routine things as replenishing milk supplies.
Don't insist on parties with other couples that one of you isn't friends with. You don't have to have the same friends. It's okay when each of you has your own friends. And you can date your girlfriends alone, even if you have a wonderful husband. And he can spend time with his friends. Husbands of your girlfriends are not obliged to be friends with each other just because you are friends.
Kiss each other more often when meeting and parting. It's so wonderful if he, leaving for work very early, does not forget to kiss you gently, trying not to wake you up. Or when he escorts you to the door if you are leaving on business. And an evening kiss when you meet at home means that you care about each other the most. Family traditions that strengthen marriage.
It is sometimes necessary to refuse invitations in order to be alone. The rhythm of life today is very full and busy. Don't try to fill your weekly calendar with unnecessary appointments and invitations. It is sometimes worth refusing some invitations in order to spend this free time together with your loved one.
Treat his family like your own. His relatives will be pleased that you consider them your family. And your partner will be happy to see that you treat them like family. Call them or send messages from time to time. Visit them or arrange a meeting in a cafe when your husband is away. 60 words that will improve your relationship with your mother-in-law.
Should I say "I love you" often? These three words will never get old. It's always nice to hear them. Say them more often, do not skimp on words. There is never too much good.
Show sympathy when your loved one is sick. Maybe because of this, you have to cancel your dinner plans at the restaurant and instead cook the broth at home. You may need to run to the pharmacy for cough mixture. Don't complain. No one gets sick on purpose, and if the situation were reversed, he would take care of you too.
Take on more household chores when your husband has an emergency at work. No, you don't want to turn into a washerwoman, but you do it to make life easier for your partner. And by taking on more things from your shared to-do list, you'll be more likely to do the things you love together when his schedule is less busy. In addition, you may have a crazy period at work, and he will also help you. It all balances out, because you are family.
No need to joke or make fun of each other. Especially you should not do this in a company, and at home too. Be respectful to each other and think about what is worth sharing in the company and what is not, because this is your loved one, life partner, and not an object for jokes.
Don't be late! How many senseless quarrels could be avoided if people were not late for dates and meetings! Start painting your eyes 20 minutes earlier than usual. Perhaps your partner or those you are going to the party are very punctual, so be there on time, what time you agreed, so as not to appear rude and rude.
If someone speaks badly about your significant other, always defend them. Even if you are too polite to correct other people or kick them out for being rude, sometimes it pays to make exceptions, show character and not be polite. Loving people should protect and support each other.
Keep each other informed about your personal plans. Are you going to have a cocktail with a friend after work? Great, have fun. But let your partner know where you are. This is necessary so that, firstly, he does not worry, and secondly, so that he can make his own plans for the evening. It's not a question of asking for permission - it's a matter of courtesy. Because both you and he want to have peace of mind knowing that your partner is alive, well, and out of trouble.
Try not to make a fuss while traveling and traveling. The luxury hotel you booked turned out to be worse than you expected. Or your husband forgot to pack your beauty supplies when he promised. You can get angry and turn into The Couple who fight each other at the airport, or you can turn everything into a joke and say that in the future you will have something to remember. Control yourself!
Be spontaneous - try to surprise. Unexpectedly book a table in a restaurant for your dinner. Or take your loved one to a restaurant and offer to eat at the bar. Surprise with early morning sex. Or prepare a surprise in the form of concert tickets. By doing such spontaneous, unexpected things, you make your life with your loved one more interesting.
Love each other unconditionally. Sometimes it really is that simple.

It touches me how at weddings and other instructive ceremonies for young people, the secret of a long and happy family life sounds from experienced people. Something like: children, family - this is not only a holiday, you have to be patient, help each other, respect each other, forgive and further down the list of debts. And then we'll meet at the golden wedding.

And then I’m a little embarrassed to say in my toast that it doesn’t matter. But it’s important that the person is “yours”. The secret is to meet the "right" person, and not somehow masterfully learn to endure. And somehow honorable to do their duty. You have to find someone you don't have to be patient with...

My mother, in the first place of my family life, told me, for example: you forgive your husband, well, absolutely everything! At these moments, I always strained, trying to scan what it was, I forgave him and didn’t track it ... I really don’t know. It turns out that I forgive him that he scatters his socks, that he disappears at work and may not hear what I tell him, because he is thinking about his project (terribly disrespectful), and he is also not a big boss at work, but a free artist, still there something... And I did not forgive anything. Don't exaggerate my forgiving abilities. I just did not notice these socks, I automatically collect them outside the doors and throw them into the washing machine. They don't stress me out. And it doesn’t hurt me in any way that he is on his own and he didn’t have subordinates at work like me. It didn't occur to me that there was a problem. But he doesn’t hear me - I love enthusiastic people so much, if I really need it - I don’t disdain to wave my hands to attract attention to myself. And when he is not around, I have something to do with myself. If we had been together all the time, it would have bothered me more. So it's not me - a wonderful wife and learned to be tolerant. But it's just a very "my" design.

Favorite job is the same. You even have problems and difficulties there. But you do not perceive them as grief and problems. Maybe as such a healthy challenge, maybe as small delays or difficulties. But if you love the process itself, then no one needs to persuade you to be patient, to go forward ... You yourself go through a hundred options and your brains automatically switch to this search at any free minute. And you will go to bed tired, and your brains are still spinning and spinning: can you do that? but still it is necessary to try it? And you can even jump out of bed at night and go try it. Sometimes at 4 in the morning I fumble with a pencil with a sleepy hand to write down something that I need to try in the morning or look for literature on this topic ... No one forces me. And at the same time, I vindictively carry in myself and tell with suffering how, while working at a bank, they somehow called me to work close to 12 o'clock at night to prepare calculations for the boss, who was on his way to difficult negotiations. It was not "mine", I did not like it, I did them (those who needed it) a favor. That's what I remember about him to this day. Here, yes, you need to seek forgiveness in yourself ...

And the secret of professionalism and success - it seems to me - is also in this: to love what you do. Do what you love.

And then people ask:
How do you relax?
And we don't stress.

And why am I ... And it was I who came to visit. A wonderful family, 20 years together, not a single "damaging" case, patience for ten on a ten-point system. Quietly otrykivayut each other from different angles. Squeezed. Burknut, twitch, and then back. You can’t get angry, swearing is fraught, it’s ugly and wrong. And useless. Children, common property. We must endure. A strong family is built on patience, forgiveness, and so on ... No, this is some kind of false secret for me.

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