I like her but she is married. What to do if you fell in love with a married girl - what to do? The state of mind of a young man who fell in love with a married girl

If you want to know how to seduce a married girl, then you must have found out from somewhere that she is married. In most cases, these questions are asked by those men who often intersect with these girls (for example, at school or at work). On the one hand, you like her. On the other hand, you are afraid that she can send you in public and start gossiping with her girlfriends, as she sent you off. And besides, the whole team at work may think that you are “some kind of wrong” if you pester a married girl.

However, it has already been proven hundreds of times that married girls do not mind having an affair with another man. It is important to simply choose the right key.

Since we found out that you often cross paths with her (or you have the opportunity to make sure that you see her regularly), then better to play more subtle. Those. to attract her attention, to evoke the necessary emotions, to meet, but not in the same way as they do in the case of free girls, but in a slightly different way.

Now you will understand what I mean.

Find out what she's missing

The emotional sphere of a person can be represented as a black and white image, then you can see that the dark and light sides are on the same level. Any bias towards the light or dark side creates a need for opposite emotions.

Light emotions include romance, kindness, care, love, etc. For the dark ones - jealousy, the desire to get the "forbidden fruit", the desire to be humiliated and punished (this applies more often to girls, although they themselves will do their best to deny this fact :)).

Over time, the feelings of people who are married begin to fade. This is a normal process.

And if at the very beginning of the relationship romance prevails, and the husband acts as a kind of “nice guy” (in most cases), then later the romance disappears, and the husband either remains cute, but not at all attractive guys. In this case, the girl has an acute need for so-called "dark" emotions.

And vice versa, if he often drinks, walks somewhere with friends, then she needs male attention, romance, etc.

Your #1 goal is to figure out what emotions she needs and give them to her. .

To do this, try to make her portrait by answering the questions:

• what kind of life does she live
• who is her husband
• how often do they see each other
• what emotions does he give her

Of course, you should not ask your female colleagues directly about this. Your observation will work best, which will help you hear interesting facts about her at the right time.

If you ask your male colleagues, you may come across statements like “You won’t succeed because…”. In this case, you don’t need to argue with them - it’s better to ask: “Yes?” and watch your colleague tell you fact after fact about her. Of course, you can keep asking leading questions to get even more information. :)

To attract attention

Before moving on to active actions, you need to make sure that she has an attraction to you (albeit a small one).

This can be achieved by creating sociall proof (social proof), showing that all people in your company consider your opinion, laugh at your jokes and seek your attention.

To do this, it is enough to communicate more actively with everyone, joke and participate in collective life.

Also try to establish micro-communications with other girls. These micro-communications should be such that every time you are near them, you notice interesting details in their behavior, environment, voice your opinion aloud, joke and ask any questions.

The natural feeling of rivalry between girls will do the trick.: in the eyes of each of them, after a very short time, you will become a very attractive man. And they will seek your attention.

The process of seduction

In seducing married girls (especially in the early stages) it is important to use occasions for meetings.

Direct offers to drink tea or coffee will be perceived as too obvious a hint. The fact is that even if a girl really likes you, she will it is important to have an excuse not only to other people, but also to yourself.

For example, if you work with her, then say that you need her help with work. You can ask her if she can help you with a report or anything else. Even if you can do it yourself, you can still pretend that you need help.

During the meeting, try to give her those emotions that her husband does not give her.

And only then, when you feel that you have come close to the intended goal, you can no longer use the occasions.

In some cases, some obstacles will await you: sex with another man for a married girl is not such an easy step. Even if she really needs the emotions that you give her, she needs time to get used to the thought of cheating.

In addition, many married girls are interested in an easy, non-binding romance. They do not need a serious relationship, and they want to be sure that if anything happens, you can leave without unnecessary conflicts. Therefore, they will test a man for need. The most preferred way to do this is refuse a meeting or sex and see the reaction.

If, despite her refusal, you continue to be the same interesting positive man who gives her the same emotions, then this will be a plus for you. If you get upset because of her refusal, then, by doing so, you will show weakness.

Follow these simple rules, and the seduction of a married woman will be very easy. But before you start taking action, remember that they should only be started if both conditions match:

1. You like her very much.
2. You feel that she is ready to cheat on her husband with you (those who are interested in the moral side of the issue should be reassured by the fact that her willingness to cheat will mean a lack of sincere feelings for her husband).

Otherwise, it is better to direct your efforts to free girls. Fortunately, there are enough of them around.

There are many unfair things in life. I fell in love with a girl with all my heart, and she is married. Real feelings are not sorted by nation, position in society or marital status. If a fell in love with a married woman, then there is little joy in this. On the one hand, I want happiness and reciprocal feelings, on the other hand, the moral side haunts. Especially if the beloved has a common child with her husband.

The main psychological point in such a situation can be rephrased as the following question: “Does a person have the right to be happy, or is he obliged to suffer?” In other words, no matter which path a man in love chooses, it won't be easy. But, only in the case when the girl reciprocates, there can be common goals and joint efforts to facilitate the solution of such a difficult situation.

Love, but do not destroy the family

All men are very jealous. Even a fleeting smile given to a beloved girl can turn into a scandal for her at home. Husband - although it is an obstacle to your happiness, you should not go ahead. This can do a lot of damage to your loved one.

Even if a girl responds to your love, where is the confidence that this is not a fleeting hobby? And feelings will fade, having lost their sharpness, with your approach. The Forbidden fruit is sweet! While your beloved wife is another, maybe it is this circumstance that attracts you?

Before taking any steps, you need to weigh everything many times so as not to regret later about what you have done ...

Pursue your happiness

If you are absolutely sure that the one you love, and the one that, unfortunately, is married, is the only way to be happy in this life, then you need to act. If a girl loves you, and you are also her only chance for happiness, then you need to try to join forces to achieve the goal - creating a family.

After all, this is your only goal, for the sake of which you will break up someone else's family and make someone unhappy? If such an end is not provided for in your story, then you should not fool the woman. Perhaps she will be happier with her lawful husband, and not with you.

Sometimes, people who built their happiness on the ruins of a broken family are never completely happy. The reason for this may be prejudices and one's own conscience, and, sadly, a child from another man.

Not every lover can accept a beloved child from an ex-husband. You need to have a huge margin of tolerance and loyalty to an innocent creature. And, you still need to love, to the pain in your soul, all the children, and not just your own. Then someone else's baby can become native. Not sure that you are capable of such love in a child? Don't fool the poor woman!

If you decide to pursue your beloved, then keep in mind that you risk being beaten. In the literal sense of the word. By destroying someone's family, you can destroy the life of more than one person. It is clear that the one from whom his wife can be taken away is capable of strong emotions and even justified anger. Will you be able to adequately accept such trials and not harm the person from whom you are going to take the most precious thing? Are you afraid for your health? Then leave the unfortunate girl alone!

Love for a married woman is a very difficult situation, from which everyone finds their own way out. If a man is able to "wrestle" with his ego, then he leaves the choice to the girl. First of all, it is her family that is at risk of being broken, and her child may lose his father.

Are you ready to take on this responsibility? Then - forward, towards your happiness!

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Hello dear readers! Do you know what is the difference between sympathy and love? If we like a flower, we pluck it, but if we love it, we water it daily, take care of it and cherish it in every possible way. It was not me who came up with this, but one of the greats. And how much truth is in these words.

If you are reading this article, then boldly admit to yourself and ask a lot of questions: “I love a married woman, what should I do.” And in this case, the advice of a psychologist will be most welcome, because such confusion may continue to spin.

Now I will try to tell you what to do next, how to behave, what to do if you yourself are married. There will be many questions, so let's get down to business as soon as possible.

Measure seven times

First of all, you need to understand the truth of your feelings and make sure that you are ready for what will happen next. The matter is quite serious, especially if the married girl you love has a child. There are too many people involved in this situation, and if you realize in the process that the feelings were not entirely sincere, then it will be extremely difficult to return to the original one.

In no way am I trying to dissuade you from the venture that you are about to decide on. Situations are different and I know thousands of examples when a marriage collapsed and true happiness was built on its ruins. After all, third parties in love don't just appear. For this . However, first of all, you need to weigh everything and understand yourself.

Don't try to understand why you love this woman. You will never know the true answer. Love is beyond analysis. The only thing that needs to be convinced now is the willingness to endure all the consequences together, despite the difficulties.

Of course, everything can turn out as you like, life is unpredictable, perhaps your woman will choose another man in the end, even if you think that she loves you too. There are too many factors influencing the decision. At this stage, you must make a firm decision to change your own life and for that.

child question

If your chosen one has children, you should think about them too. Even if everything works out, she will probably want to communicate, and maybe live with them. If you are not ready to accept a woman with children or hope that she will give up her child for the sake of a relationship with you, it is better not to make any attempts to get closer.

You can only be held responsible for your actions. Do not build illusions and do not make decisions for other people. Subsequently, this can become a serious cause for controversy.

A woman is inseparable from her kids. Let not now, but a little later it will become a very important issue and problem. It is you who will be to blame for it, according to the girl. Isn't that the reason to?

Your family

I repeat that you can only be held responsible for your actions. If you have a wife, then before considering the idea of ​​a woman, you must clearly decide that you want to leave the family. Recognize that you can no longer continue to live as before and want to change everything or give up your idea.

There is a significant difference between "leaving the family" and "leaving another woman." In the second case, you can be very disappointed when you start comparing and analyzing past and current relationships. You shouldn't do this at all.

If everything suits you and you just want to try something new, it will not end well. A little later, you will begin to reproach the new woman with the fact that for her sake you destroyed such a happy marriage, and after a while you yourself will believe in this idea.

You must understand that even if you do not want or cannot live with a particular girl, it is better to be alone. If you agree with this thought, then your decision is more meaningful. It will bring more benefits, no matter how the situation develops further.

Step forward

If, after all the thought, you remained true to your decision, then it's time to talk with the married woman you like. This is already a question concerning two people, and only you together have the right to decide how to live on.

If you have any questions, it is better to seek personal advice from a psychologist.

I also recommend that you read the book "Life after divorce" Elena Elfimova. Your chosen one will have a difficult period, if everything goes well, you will need to support and understand her. Men and women often speak different languages, so the book will certainly not be useless.

That's all for me. See you soon and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter.

I join Just Masha.

Life is long, everything can be in it. But at work it is better not to start an affair. Think about what you are risking - the whole team will instantly be aware of your sighs, the information will reach the family very quickly - how much crap you cannot convey. Two kids. Life will become hell. And as a maximum - you have to leave work (if anything), or her. And your reputation will be the subject of ridicule and jokes for a long time. What for?
Well, fantasize as much as you like. You are just flirting, and already imagine a happy family with a new wife. ) Boy!
I would start writing 70 sentences of what you will lose and how your life will change. You need to start with negative scenarios. The girl will be insanely flattered by your attention, the family budget will be cut a little by spending on her, then she will play with you. Maybe she wants to stay with her husband. Or maybe you'll get bored with her in a couple of years. Besides, you have a trailer!

But if you really want to, then it is better to find girls in a neutral environment - not at work, or in a circle of acquaintances. So that there are no connections with your environment, a minimum of risks and responsibility.

Author. 5 years ago, they told me about the same thing, except that my son (at that time he was 4 years old) had a husband, my beloved was married, had two children. They said a lot of things And that my child would be an orphan (fatherless), that they would give me sailors and leave me and all that .. They even said that I would go crazy and find myself in a yellow house But life goes on. My child communicates with his dad as much as he likes (and in the format in which he wants) and with the current man. Nobody abandoned me. I can ALWAYS count on my son's father. He is great. Does everything you need and the son is in many ways on it. Including during my business trips, he fully provides it. Pays alimony. Moreover, over the years (now his son is 9), he and his father are getting closer and closer. His father is in a new relationship now (not married, cohabiting), a little strange from my point of view, but this is his life and he is quite happy with himself. As for my second relationship .. The man is divorced, we do not live together (due to a number of circumstances beyond our control and not related to divorces, etc.), but we spend all our free time together. Every day. All holidays and weekends. We have a common budget and so on. I can always count on him, my mother (and how she was against these relations one had only to see) does not have a soul in him. And the son is not going smoothly. BUT .... Look at how many topics when people did not dare to destroy families and went into other realities (games, computers, alcohol, and at least work). Some heart-rendingly tried and are trying to improve relations with spouses. Like SUDDENLY, we started walking by the hand and projecting I - messages and everything just got better and all the bunches. Somehow I don't believe in it. As well as the fact that I have not seen a single happy couple after romances on the side. It all ends with anger at loved ones that he could not. Yes, and no one canceled the wife’s revenge (and who knows what she will be there). Many cannot communicate with children, because they perceive them as the cause of life's troubles. Many cannot communicate with spouses, that is, de jure marriage is preserved, everything is honorable, but de facto there are such relationships. Is it correct? Is it necessary to keep it. But while you still have an egg in your ass, and you are already dancing with a frying pan. You communicate with your passion. Trying not to advertise. Communicate closely. Did she want. Would you like to. It will be difficult, but will it be BAD, as they write to you, only you will know and only in your power to make sure that the bad is minimal. I do not call for "destroy the old world and on its fragments ..", but it's also not worth listening to what kind of tryndets you arrange "if che". It should also be noted that the contingent (including myself) of the forum, for the most part, are aunts who have experienced or are experiencing betrayal of their husbands .. So transfers are a common thing here, they don’t tell you, they tell themselves and their men. Good luck

Sometimes we face serious problems – we suffer, we worry, and we don’t know what to do in difficult life situations. Our life is sometimes unpredictable and fate often tests us for strength. Each person has his basic life principles, which he, at the very least, but tries to adhere to. And then suddenly such an unpredictable and wonderful feeling came - falling in love.

And you can’t brush it off, it doesn’t give your soul peace, because you fell in love with a girl who is married.

“Yes,” you say to yourself, “I fell in love with a married girl, and I don’t know what to do, and where is the way out of this situation?” That is, in other words, a love triangle has formed.

Having met a person - a girl and "reaching out to her with all my heart" it is difficult to think: does she have a husband, children - is she free. Let's agree: answer the questions honestly, without deceiving yourself in the first place. Your exit and your decision depend on this - the psychologist is only trying to help you understand yourself.

The state of mind of a young man who fell in love with a married girl

If you managed to fall in love with a girl who is not free, but married, which makes life and your meetings much more difficult. A really strong feeling that covered the man with his head - he does not understand what status his beloved is in. But, we can confidently say that in this case he will be overwhelmed by conflicting feelings. First, he wants a simple, very ordinary happy daily coexistence with her. Naturally, receiving reciprocity.

Secondly, the experience of constant remorse. Especially if there are children in her family (with her husband). It is clear that this situation for a man is not easy, ambiguous and complex. Fighting for his beloved, if he decides to go, obeying his first sensation, should be only when the feeling is really mutual, there is a common desire and goal. Only through joint efforts with this woman will he be able to ease his way out of this difficult situation.

Answering difficult questions

1. The first and most important question is whether you have your own housing. If you don’t have your own home, where will you bring your beloved woman to build a family with her? What if she has a child? Wandering around rented apartments is not an option. Do not expect that the deceived husband will voluntarily show nobility and give you housing, and he himself will go nowhere - this does not happen.
2. Are you ready to build a joint life with your beloved woman: in a month the first euphoria from your living together will pass. I will not reveal secrets if I say that the most terrible enemy of love is everyday life. Imagine your responsibilities, the problems that you, as a man, must solve. Are you ready to make sacrifices for this person? How well do you know her character? Perhaps something is already bothering you? Take a closer look at your chosen one. Better now, before the family is destroyed! Talk to your beloved, ask if she wants to live together with you?
3. Ask yourself: “If she left her husband for me, where is the guarantee that this will not happen to me again?” Put yourself in the place of a deceived husband! Nicely? I think it's unlikely. It is not for nothing that the phrase that has set the teeth on edge sounds: “You cannot build happiness on someone else’s misfortune.” Even if your woman speaks badly about her husband, this does not mean that he really is like that. I don’t argue, maybe she doesn’t have vivid feelings for her husband, maybe there is friendship-love: this is not a reason to get into a person’s personal life. And if a child loves his father, imagine: maybe the child will never accept you! Children are maximalists. Can you love someone else's child yourself? It's complicated.
4. When a girl got married, she certainly loved this man who became her husband, once she bore him a child, and even more so - children. If there is no child in the family, this, of course, simplifies the task, but does not solve it. It all depends on her attitude towards you: will she be afraid to drastically change her life? The majority of people do not want to change their lives, it scares them. Do not rush your beloved with a choice - here only time and your perseverance from afar will help you.

• Love from afar. The family should not be destroyed. There are simply no men who would not experience such a feeling as jealousy. There are those who do not make scandals over trifles.
  In the event that the husband notices that an outside man is giving his wife great attention, caring for her, and she encourages him, a scandal in the family cannot be avoided. In this case, it will be difficult to continue your communication with your beloved. She could be hurt a lot.
• It is necessary to be with your beloved until the “very end”, despite her status as a married woman. The beloved girl is married, but her feelings for her husband have cooled down or completely disappeared. Moreover, her husband has the same attitude towards her - love has passed, but there is a common habit. In this case, a man is recommended not to stop and seek her, the only one, arranging his and her happiness by marrying her. Perhaps this time everything will be fine for both: both him and the girl he loves. Otherwise, if the creation of a family is not included in the plans, then the man should not “break” her family.
• If the beloved, who is strongly attached to the father, and the relationship with the mother’s friend does not add up, then in this case, the woman should be left with her legal spouse. The happiness of a woman with a new chosen one will not work because of a child whose interests are a priority for her. In addition, not every man who is in love with a woman who has already "married" is able to love her child from her ex-husband. Is it worth it in this case to seriously seek a woman, taking her away from the family? In this case, psychologists suggest limiting yourself to light, non-binding flirting.
• When caring for a girl who is legally married, it is worth finding out her desire. It is possible that from her husband, a woman with whom an outsider is in love (friend, colleague, acquaintance) receives less attention. And she needs it. It is important for her to understand and feel that she is loved, desired and necessary in her husband's life. If there is respect in the family, she will not leave her husband, and she will not take a man in love with her “seriously”. So, she flirts a little with him, accepting his courtship. Torture him and leave him with nothing.
• It is possible that a married lady has secret dreams that her husband cannot fulfill or does not have the desire to fulfill. Then, the gentleman in love with her should find out: what are these secrets and implement them as much as possible. It is highly likely that such actions on the part of a man in love will lead to her becoming interested in him, which, after some time, may develop into something more, but this usually works with mercantile women.
• A man in love with a married girl should build a plan of action to “conquer” her so as not to harm the reputation of both the woman and his own. At the same time, the desires of her child should also be taken into account, if he was born in her marriage to her husband.
  In this case, the risk that their romance will be declassified is minimal. Especially if a joint future is not included in their common plans.
• Pay attention to the girl free from all sorts of obligations. When conquering a woman whose status is “married”, a man in love with her must be prepared for the fact that he can be beaten. And, in the truest sense of the word. If he understands that such an impact on the part of her husband will not be avoided, and he will not be able to respond in the same way, as a result of which his health will be harmed, then he should leave this idea - to look after and show signs of attention to this woman. It is better to get acquainted with a young charmer - thereby, trying to forget the object of your desires.

It is difficult to love a married woman - a man must find a way out himself

1. Firstly, in the case of falling in love with a married woman, you should not make decisions hastily, without considering such a situation from all sides and without weighing all the consequences.
2. Secondly, if you are confident in yourself and your feelings, you should tell your beloved, but already married girl about them. Let her decide who she needs more in life companions.
3. Thirdly, with your problems, you should contact a specialist psychologist or consult with a person you can trust.
4. Fourth, you should always be prepared for the fact that meetings (until she decides on a choice) will be very rare. On holidays, evenings, weekends - she will stay with her husband. The girl will also decide and plan meetings, because she is not free.
5. Fifthly, the material question is also important. If the husband is rich and generous, then it is practically impossible to win the favor of his wife.
6. Sixth, and last. In the world there is a huge number of beautiful, smart, economic, single girls and women of all ages, nationalities and specialties who have been married and do not know family life at all. Among them, you can definitely meet one that can help cope with the problem of falling in love with an already married woman who has everything - both a husband and a child.

You need to try to start a new life, to seek your destiny. Yes, it is difficult and it burns in the chest and hands drop - it will pass! Men can also cry, but only so that no one sees! Crying is not a shame, only people with a heart of stone do not cry, and if the heart knows how to love, then it is alive, and not a stone at all. Do not break someone else's life - tomorrow yours will be under threat!