How to let a person go? Technique "unsent letter. All thoughts are about one person

And I noticed this: there should be exactly some people around you (friends, buddies, close acquaintances and other significant “characters” of our life). No one knows the exact number, it is probably for everyone individually, and it is possible that this number even changes in different periods of life, but it seems to me that the following scheme works in our life: if someone has disappeared from your life (I don’t about death) - he went far, maybe they quarreled, went in different directions, etc., then someone else appears in his place in a rather short time. And vice versa, if someone significant new has appeared, then one of the old friends (again, friends and other close people) will certainly disappear.

It turns out that the balance is not disturbed, it is practically unchanged, minus one - plus one, plus three - minus three, etc. This means that each person has only some role in your life, whether episodic, secondary or home. And at any moment, any of them can "disappear" if another suddenly appears. I can give many similar examples, and people "replace" each other for a reason, for the sake of quantity. As a rule, they are either equal in importance to you (and often even of the same sex), or very similar - both externally and in character traits.

It seems to me that there is such a change for several different reasons. First, let's say, this is the situation: your good friend, who was there for a long time and supported you in case of any problems, went to live far, far away. And of course, in our age you can communicate by various means of communication - from SMS to Skype, but still everything is not the same, everything is different, everyone has their own life, and the frequency of communication is greatly reduced in one way or another. And the problems are not going anywhere, or rather, new ones may appear. Yes, and support is always needed, especially this particular person.

And then gradually you find a "replacement". This may be a completely new acquaintance, and an old one, but you had little or no close contact with him before. It turns out that it is not entirely clear whether you found him, or whether he appeared on the horizon in time, but over time he can become just as good a friend and also support you in everything. More than once life has shown me such cases.

Secondly, this can happen because communication with someone has exhausted itself. Well, you did everything you could for each other. In this case, someone else also appears, in many ways similar to the previous one, perhaps it will sound a little cruel or cynical - like an “updated version” of a person. So that spiritual intimacy is established again, and communication continues to develop. Maybe at some higher level.

By the way, it also happens that everything can change again exactly the opposite, after some time, perhaps several years, or maybe a little faster. Both of you will change a little and “reboot”, then the importance of your contact for you will reappear. But this, as life shows, happens much less frequently.

In general, if you look at all of the above from the point of view of feelings and emotions, it turns out that our life is arranged very insidiously in relation to us, people. Because no one explains to us the main thing (and which, by the way, is almost impossible to learn, unless you are completely soulless), that we simply do not have the right to become attached to each other, since no one belongs to anyone, and only somewhere out there , at the top, decide how many years, months, days or minutes someone should be in someone's life ...

We just go our own way and intersect on a certain section of the path with certain people, make stops; with fellow travelers we go together, and then we part again, meet new fellow travelers, or for some time we walk alone. And so all my life.

They say that a person comes into this world alone and leaves it alone. It's hard to agree with this. True, although there are only a few, there are still those who stay with us for life. Well, almost all of it.

Why, if such a “circle” seems to be natural, is it sometimes so difficult to let someone go? Of course, sooner or later we come to terms with parting, even with death, but often it is very painful. Why do we even have this attachment gene?

Perhaps the answer is simple: for love to exist in the world. Perhaps this is the only reason that justifies such injustice.

Our whole life consists of human relationships: family, work, social. But the deepest and most important for us are relationships with loved ones. Very often between them there are strife, misunderstandings, and various changes in relations. But what to do when you feel that the relationship has exhausted itself and is coming to an end? You no longer value this person as before, mutual understanding has disappeared between you, and you quarrel endlessly? How to be able to correctly and painlessly for both of you to let go of each other?

Should we let each other go?

Of course, this is not easy to do, there is always some kind of emptiness and disappointment after a breakup. But if you look at this situation from the other side, then you will see the experience, wisdom, knowledge that you have acquired through this relationship. This is the end of only a certain stage in your life, but not love.. When you understand this and can accept it, then apart from a feeling of gratitude for this person, you will have nothing left.

Absolutely, all the people who come into your life are not an accident, everyone has their own purpose, why they appeared in your life. They bring with them life lessons that you need to learn. It develops in you the qualities you lack, so you grow as a person, I'm talking about evolutionary growth.

You were dear to each other people, experienced strong feelings, spent unforgettable moments of life together. Of course, all this will remain in your memory, but already like the past day. And you will be sorry to leave or let the person out of your life. But life never stands still, it is constantly moving, changing, bringing change and change. Also your relationship, they will constantly change, enriched with new feelings and experiences. Don't be afraid to move on and let new people into your life again.

Nothing can last forever. You gave each other everything you could, you tried to save the relationship. But if you have exhausted each other, are tired of moving on together, or simply stopped loving, then it is better to let the person go. Most likely, you have reached the limit of your relationship, it cannot continue like this. You will feel when the relationship will become an unbearable burden for you. Then let the person go, no need to keep him near you. By doing this, you will only hurt him, as he will see your indifference.

How to let go of a loved one?

Thank this person, as he unconsciously taught you something, gave you invaluable experience, his time, his feelings. And continue to live on, no need to cling to what is already gone, know how to let go. You have changed thanks to this relationship, and for sure you are waiting for new acquaintances and meetings.

If you still did not dare to take such a step, but are trying to glue a falling apart relationship, by doing this you are slowly killing each other. In addition to deep pain and disappointment in relationships, they will not bring you anything else. Your relationship will lose value and trepidation, they will turn into a dull joint vegetation. Every day you and your partner will grow hostility, irritation and claims to each other. A series of quarrels, showdowns, the search for the guilty and stuff like that will follow. Believe me, the longer you stretch such a relationship, the more likely it is that you will part as enemies full of hatred for each other. It is morally exhausting, it takes so much of your energy that after parting, you remain lifeless and broken.

Relationships should bring you joy and happiness. You must glow with love, your eyes must burn, sparkle with happiness. When it's gone, is it worth continuing? Think about it, does this relationship bring me happiness, lightness, joy?

And yet you stubbornly refuse to let go of that person. Why?

It takes courage to end a relationship. One of you should be the first to realize this and talk about it. But not every person is able to speak openly even with his partner. Then the game of silence begins, hidden grievances, endless quarrels over trifles. And real hell begins, when being together is not only impossible, but becomes a real torture.

Sooner or later your relationship will come to an end anyway, but in what way and what will it cost you? Most likely, after parting, you will be left with a baggage of claims against each other and unspoken grievances. Everyone will suffer from such a relationship. You will need a lot of time and effort to recover from such a breakup.

Don't resist if you see your relationship drifting towards the end. So this is how it should be, this is how it should happen. When that person is out of your life, just let them go, don't hold on to them.

The best final parting is to express gratitude to this person for everything he has done for you, for the moments of happiness and joy presented. Try to do it from the heart, sincerely. In this way, you will soften the pain of parting and the feeling of disappointment and resentment will go away.

Of course, at first, it will be difficult for you to move on without this person. But time heals all wounds. You will have a period when you can evaluate past relationships, learn the lessons from them. And then you realize that any person, leaving, makes room for the arrival of a new person. So step by step, you are approaching the one who is destined for you by fate in life.

Look at any ending as a great beginning of something new, joyful and happy!

There are different types of breakups: someone breaks up in order to meet again later, but for someone, parting is the final decision. However, human nature is arranged in such a way that it is very difficult, and sometimes impossible, to forget the past. And so a person again and again turns to past relationships, unable to heal a bleeding wound in his heart. It is necessary to stop such torment as soon as possible and put an end to the relationship.

Breakup after conflict

If once you decide to end a relationship with a person forever, stick to the chosen position. Whatever your mood or state, no matter how he asks to return, no matter how much you want it - do not take a single step back. Just make that decision the moment you decide to break up with him. It will make it easier for both of you.

The reason for such a decision is usually a lie or betrayal, betrayal in a relationship. Such actions. Over time, the memory of them is erased, the pain dulls, and one wants to believe that the person has improved, but in most cases this is an illusion. People do not change dramatically, it is better to understand this as clearly as possible, then there will be no new disappointments with this person.

Peaceful parting

Realize the separation and accept it for yourself, experience it once in your heart, so that later you can remember this feeling with a touch of light sadness. Such advice is suitable for situations of amicable parting, for example, when a friend leaves to live in another country. You can, of course, meet with him once a year on vacation or correspond by e-mail, but deep down you still realize that this is not the kind of communication that was before. You need to get used to such a parting, get used to thoughts about him. At the same time, it will be useful to remind yourself how good it is for such a friend in a new place, how he can make his dreams come true. This is a great way to be happy for a person and give him your love even at a distance.

goodbye forever

When parting occurs with a loved one due to death, this is the most hurtful kind of separation. It can happen very unexpectedly or be expected, but it will still be difficult for any person. In this situation, nothing else but how to gradually get used to the idea of ​​loss, it will not work.

People come and go from life and from each other's social circle, this is a normal process, and therefore it should be treated as something inevitable and passing. It’s normal to be sad in this situation, but clinging to a loss, thinking only about it, investing a lot of nerves in something that will never return is a waste of emotions. Let go of the person you love and move on, because someone else will definitely come to take his place.

“Some people consider perseverance and holding onto something as signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes a lot more will to know when to let go and then do it.”
— Ann Landers

When we let go of something or someone, it does not mean that we no longer care about them. It just comes to the realization that the only thing we can really control is ourselves, right here, right now. It is a necessary process of adapting to the ever-changing realities of life - leaving the past behind in order to make way for the present.

Here are 50 quotes from various articles that will help you let go and start living happily.

1. As we get older and wiser, we begin to understand what we need and what we need to leave behind. Sometimes leaving is a step forward.

2. You will never achieve what you are capable of if you are too attached to things that you have to let go.

3. Sometimes there is something in our life that should not be delayed. Sometimes unwanted changes are necessary changes for our growth.

4. Growth and change can be painful sometimes, but the most painful thing in life is being out of place.

5. The hardest part of growing up is letting go of what you're used to and moving on with something new.

6. Accept what is, let go of what was, and believe in what can be.

7. Don't be afraid of change. There is a reason for everything. Deal with it. It won't be easy, but it's worth it.

9. Never let fear determine your future.

10. Fear is just a figment of your imagination. It can be difficult at times to decide to follow your heart, but you will make a huge mistake by letting your false fears stop you.

11. You can't wait forever for the perfect moment. Sometimes you need to let go of your doubts and take risks, because life is too short to wonder what could have been.

12. You are not the same person you were a year ago, last month or this week. You are constantly evolving. Nothing stands still. That is life.

13. One of the most enjoyable moments in life is when you finally find the courage to let go of what you cannot change.

14. Never force things. Do whatever is required of you and let life take its course. If something has to happen, it will happen. Don't attach yourself to what you can't control.

15. When you stop expecting people and events to be perfect, you can begin to appreciate them for who they are.

16. Live simply. Love with all your heart. Be sincere. Breathe deeply. Try your best. Leave everything else for something above us.

17. Giving up and letting go are two completely different things.

19. Giving up doesn't always mean showing weakness. Sometimes it just means that you are strong and smart enough to let go and move on.

20. Stop obsessing over your stress level and remember how lucky you are. Everything could be much worse.

21. Whatever upsets you, let it go! No need to accumulate negativity. Keep calm and have a positive outlook on life. Something good is bound to happen to you.

22. Some people cannot accept the fact that you are moving forward in life, and therefore they will try to cling to your common past. Don't condone their behavior. Keep moving on.

23. No matter what you do, someone will always be unhappy. So live by your principles and make sure that you yourself do not end up disappointed.

24. Love yourself! Forgive yourself! Accept yourself! You are you, this is the beginning and the end - and no regrets.

25. You are good enough, smart enough, and strong enough. You don't need someone else's approval to know that you are priceless.

26. One of the most liberating things that life teaches us is that we don't have to love everyone, everyone doesn't have to love us, and that's absolutely fine.

27. Try not to take too seriously what other people say about you. What they think and say is a reflection of themselves, not of you.

28. If you worry too much about what other people think of you, in some way, you will always be their prisoner.

29. Sometimes we expect more from others because we ourselves would do the same for them. Keep on loving. In the end, you will find out who deserves it.

30. Not everyone is able to appreciate what you do for them. You have to understand who is really worthy of your attention and who is just trying to take advantage of you.

31. To say yes to happiness, you must learn to say no to people and things that hurt you. Be wise to avoid negativity.

32. If you allow something, it will continue. It is better to be alone than to let negative people and their judgments influence your life.

33. If you feel that your ship is sinking, it may be time to drop everything that weighs you down. Let go of the people who make you sad and surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you.

34. Just because someone has been a part of your life for many years doesn't guarantee that there won't be a moment when you finally decide to let them go.

35. One of the most difficult tasks in life is to cut someone out of your heart.

36. You must understand that people come and go. That is life. Stop holding on to those who let you go a long time ago.

37. Sometimes we forgive others not because they deserve it. We forgive them because they need it, because we ourselves need it, and because without it we can't let go and move on.

38. The one who asks for forgiveness first is the bravest. Whoever forgives first is the strongest. The happiest moves first.

39. Do not be sad about the past, it will not return. Don't worry about the future, it hasn't arrived yet. Try to live in the present and make it beautiful.

40. Be wise enough to let go when needed and strong enough to hold on when needed.

41. Do not let small troubles overshadow your happiness. True wealth is the ability to feel and appreciate every moment for what it brings.

42. Life is too short to spend it at war with yourself. Learn to accept and forgive. By letting go of yesterday's troubles, you are taking the first step towards happiness today.

43. Anxiety casts a big shadow on small things. In the end, you can either focus on what's tearing you apart or on something that helps you pull yourself together.

44. Old fears - down payments for problems you may never have. Release them. Today is a new beginning, take a deep breath and start again.

45. Smile even when everything seems to be falling apart. Smiling doesn't always mean you're happy. Sometimes it just means that you are strong.

46. ​​There comes a time when you stop thinking about your mistakes and move on. No regrets - only life lessons that show you the way.

47. Remember good times, be strong in difficult times, love every moment, laugh more often, live honestly and be grateful for each new day.

48. You can't let one bad thing ruin a bunch of good times. Don't let the silly daily dramas confuse you.

49. If you are diligent and patient, everything that you really need in life will come to you at the right time.

50. In the end, everything will fall into place. Until then, learn as much as you can, laugh as often as you can, enjoy every moment and remember that it's worth it.

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Are you looking for this? Perhaps this is what you could not find for so long?

When a man and a woman enter into a relationship, they do not think about the fact that sooner or later one partner will spiritually lose the other. It often happens that a person ceases to feel love for his soul mate. From here disharmony appears, emotional balance is lost, the couple can no longer exist as a whole. To forget a loved one with whom you had to say goodbye, you need to master the basics of psychology. Experts have developed effective recommendations that will help with this.

Why is it hard to let go of a loved one?

It would seem, why is it impossible to break the connection and let the man go? We got rid of his gifts, found a hobby, threw extraneous thoughts out of my head. However, everything is not as simple as it might seem at first glance.

false dreams

1. It is difficult for a woman to let go of a man when she has high hopes for him. Mentally beautiful lady has already married an object of adoration and has given birth to children. However, in reality, the gentleman is not to blame for the fact that you have placed an unbearable burden on him.
2. When the relationship had just begun, certain qualities of the young man took over. As time passed, his essence began to break out, you missed this moment. As a result, resentment and disappointment accumulated every day, they caused heartache.
3. A false image does not allow a woman to look soberly at her chosen one. Rose-colored glasses paint a new picture of the two of you doing well. But it is important to understand that the problems "in paradise" have not gone away.
4. When you finally realize that the plan will not come true, dreams are shattered. All the presented images in the head lose their power, because the man simply does not correspond to them. On a subconscious level, a woman feels betrayed.

possessive instinct

1. When girls enter into a relationship, they involuntarily begin to perceive a man as property. It is important to understand that no person can belong to you. Serfdom was abolished long ago.
2. Men are not sold at auctions, they are not put up for sale in a store, and they are not presented as a birthday present. Each person has the right to choose with whom to be and how to spend their future life.
3. Realize the essence of what is happening. If the situation took a sharp turn, as a result of which the partner left you, this is his choice. Accept this decision, let go of possessive instincts.

Anger

1. In most cases, after a breakup or during a quarrel, a woman is angry with her man. Perhaps you have serious arguments in this regard, which are accompanied by resentment.
2. It is important to understand that a man could offend you only if you, on a subconscious level, yourself wanted to be offended. This feature is typical for girls who prefer to play the role of a victim.
3. Get rid of this behavior, let go of anger. Focus on the good times in your life. Stop remembering all the bad things the man did. People make mistakes, don't blame him for the breakup.

The above are the reasons why it is difficult to let go of a loved one. Psychologists have made a number of effective recommendations, we will consider them in order.

Don't think about the past

1. If you have done everything possible to save the relationship, but the result was not achieved, do not blame yourself. Let go of the situation, the man has made his choice. You don't have to think about being idle.
2. It is important to understand that a loved one needs to be let go. At such moments, pain accumulates in the soul, and memories of good moments are haunted everywhere.
3. Assess the full scale of the problem, answer the main questions. Do you love a man or is there only a feeling of affection? At the moment when the partner left, did your ego suffer? Was it easier to deal with the situation if you left first?
4. People who have been abandoned do not feel love for the departed partner. In most cases, they lick the wounds that formed after the decline in self-esteem. Many girls cannot come to terms with the fact that their partner left them.
5. As a rule, for such persons, parting with a man is quickly forgotten. At the same time, you don’t have to be sad and cry at night, everything will pass by itself. Let go of the past, allow yourself and it to move on.
6. Go headlong into a career, go in for sports, get a pet. Sign up for courses, put your appearance and wardrobe in order. Buy lacy underwear, change your look, communicate with the opposite sex.

Turn to meditation

1. Meditation refers to contemplation and contemplation. The concept of self-awareness allows you to penetrate into the hidden corners of the soul and free yourself from emotions. In your case, meditation will help to remove the anger that appeared after the partner left.
2. Learn to forgive, try to say "Thank you" to your partner! for having him in your life. Such a move normalizes balance and harmony in the soul, stabilizes the psycho-emotional background. Let go of the resentment, and with it the loved one.
3. It is important not only to forgive a man, but also to ask him for forgiveness herself. Free your mind from negative emotions, hug each other and part in an adult way. At first it will hurt, but after a time, resentment will not eat you from the inside.
4. To properly meditate, find a quiet place where you feel comfortable. Relax, close your eyes. Focus on your breathing, stay in this position for 5 minutes.
5. After you calm down, begin to mentally collect anger and disappointment bit by bit. Push the negativity into an imaginary abyss until you yourself believe that the pain has disappeared.
6. Accompany the procedure with a relaxing melody (not songs), relax. You can meditate in a bath based on essential oils or medicinal herbs.

Do cleansing exercises

1. Take a sheet of paper, write down possible claims and grievances that are directed at a man. Go to nature in a beautiful place. Imagine that your ex is standing in front of you. Say out loud that you understand the true reasons for his actions. Apologize to the imaginary image for possible reproaches and other misunderstandings. It is important to remember that in the process of understanding and forgiving a companion, you clear your aura of negativity. Go through all the points, find a reasonable explanation for his actions.
2. After doing the forgiveness exercise, turn to gratitude. Make a list of things for which you are grateful to the man. Perhaps he made you stronger spiritually or realized old dreams. Thank your ex for making the choice in a timely manner, and not dragging it out for life. List only things for which you are truly grateful. Don't jump over your head when in doubt. All people come to us in life for a reason. So the satellite left a trace in your soul (not necessarily negative), thank you for that.

Love yourself

1. You can't let go of a man if you don't cultivate self-love. This is a big job that requires attention to detail. It is easier for girls to achieve an effect, since the modern world provides various services for such purposes.
2. Get a gym membership, sign up for a course of massage and body wraps. Start attending a dance school to gain confidence and sexiness. Evaluate the figure: if something does not suit you, go on a diet.
3. Change the image radically, reconsider the style of clothing and makeup. Grow hair or nails. Develop not only aesthetically, but also spiritually and materially. Sign up for advanced training courses, achieve heights in your career.
4. Visit cafes and cinemas, communicate with the opposite sex, spend time as you wish. Read books, learn a foreign language. You are now a free woman, travel, have fun.

It is difficult to let go of a loved one, but sometimes circumstances are not in the most favorable way. Turn to meditation, let go of the past, do forgiveness and gratitude exercises. Look after your appearance, change your wardrobe, go in for sports.

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