The girl cheated but I love her. Why did the girl cheat on you: reasons for infidelity, advice from a psychologist

Question for a psychologist: My girlfriend cheated on me. At the place of my former work. She was 19 years old, and she slept with a man who was 31 years old. She didn't admit it, I found out 1 year later.
She lied to me for a whole year, we dated, and I didn’t even know. Now she says that she loves me, asks for forgiveness, but at the same time she says that she does not regret what happened. Something is just tearing me apart inside. I don’t know how to deal with this situation, I dated her for 4 years. At 3 she cheated on me. How should I deal with this situation????

Dmitry, 20 years old

Psychologist's answer: Good afternoon, Dmitry!

The feeling that is eating away at you from the inside, as you write, is pain and resentment. It is quite understandable that upon learning about the betrayal of a loved one, we experience negative emotions. In addition, in such a situation, your pride and sense of ownership that we feel towards our loved ones are hurt.

Now you are in a state of choice:

1. Accept the situation and forgive your girlfriend. The fact that she did not tell you about her betrayal most likely means that she did not want to hurt you and was afraid of losing your relationship. The fact that she does not deny or regret her betrayal (maybe just in words) speaks of her honesty and respect for you. The main thing for you to understand is whether you can forgive her for mistakes in the relationship, or whether you want to start another, more ideal relationship .
2. If you cannot forgive your girlfriend, and the pain of betrayal is stronger than love, perhaps you should honestly admit this to both yourself and her. But there is no guarantee that there will be no mistakes in the new relationship, and perhaps on your part too.

You can learn how to build a harmonious relationship with a partner at the training “From Loneliness to Love”, as well as at “Understanding Yourself and Others”.

Sincerely, psychologist Irina Udilova

If you like to give advice and help other women, take free coaching training from Irina Udilova, master the most in-demand profession and start earning from 30-150 thousand:

I wanted to ask for advice. I dated a girl for 2 years and she left me. When we were apart, she slept with someone else... And when they didn’t get together, she asks for forgiveness and told about her relationship with him. She’s been following me for 3 months now. What should I do?

In comparison, you can make a choice... If a girl was impressed by the sensations with another, more experienced guy, then why shouldn’t the author strive to improve intimate relationships with the girl. There will be no betrayal out of nowhere.

Vladimir

I had a fight with a girl, and basically we broke up... But I realized that I couldn’t live without her, I returned her a month later and everything was fine!) Then I came across her correspondence with a friend, she described how she had an orgasm... I’m shocked. .. while still with her, I told her that if nothing changes for me, I will leave.

I really liked Evgeniy’s advice! I'm going through this myself right now. I just think that I was trying to help a girl who absolutely did not need my help. If she likes to be a whore and get drunk, there is nothing she can do to help her.

Alexey F

Leave, leave such relationships and such people immediately! If you are reading this now, it means you are tormented by a choice. So I’ll tell you from experience - definitely break up with a person. Straightaway! The rest is all excuses and delaying time. If a person allows himself to do this once, then he doesn’t care about you! How can you do this and then tell him that he loves you? Lies and belated attempts to regain “face”! I tell you, reader, that such a situation with betrayal is impossible, even hypothetically, if there are real feelings. It's like spitting in your own soul! Another problem is that now there are too many “temptations”, substitutions of true values, and only a few people think with their own heads. A person could really find himself under “temptation” (but it’s already a fact that at that moment he didn’t love) and chose (believe me, consciously) to be someone else. Then, quite likely, as happens with people who don’t know what they want, he realized that you were dearer to him and began to “beg for forgiveness.” So, leave anyway! If, having cooled down after some time (a month, a year), they want to return to you, they realize that there really are real feelings, and not infatuation, then in that case, forgive, understand and accept. And there is no need to rush. Let at least a month pass, or preferably three. Don't see each other because of feelings of anger or pity. Understand one thing once and for all: you will not lose anything for a real and sincere relationship if such a person disappears from your life. This will still happen sooner or later, and it’s better sooner - the pain in the heart will go away faster. And you can only forgive once. And then, as I already said, if a person himself, after a while, wants to be with you and he himself realizes and asks for sincere forgiveness for what he has done. In other cases, I recommend training willpower - it will be cheaper for both you and your nerves. Bring goodness and purity to the world. Everything depends only on ourselves. All the best!

No matter how strong the love, some life moments call into question the partner’s fidelity. If a girl cheats, changes in behavior occur and rash actions are committed. However, this is a serious accusation, and before making it, it is worth making sure that the suspicions are true. This is necessary, first of all, in order to prevent mistakes that could destroy trust between partners, and also to decide whether it is worth keeping the couple.

How to find out the truth? There are many signs that will help dispel doubts and answer many questions.

• Protection of personal space. My beloved has recently become too secretive, secrets, secret conversations and messages have appeared. Statements that she needs more freedom and rest from you should raise red flags. When asking who she spends a lot of her free time with, she answers irritably and goes off topic.
• Irritability and breakdowns that have become common and occur in your direction.
• Excessive concern for one's appearance. Girls tend to take care of themselves in principle, but if you notice that lately she has been trying to radically change her appearance, revealing outfits appear, especially when this does not happen for your meetings, you should be wary.
• The appearance of expensive gifts, jewelry, perfumes. Undoubtedly, women love to pamper themselves; buying new things is completely natural for them. However, the expensive things that naturally appear on her make one wonder who offers such luxury?
• Her phone is on silent mode, hiding from prying eyes, and during calls she often moves to the side. This is a clear sign that something serious is being hidden from you. It may well be that these are important work issues or family problems that do not need to be advertised, but if this becomes a habit, you need to find the right moment and find out what they are hiding from you.
• Delays at work or school indicate that she is dating someone in secret or is delaying meetings and dates with you. But there is no need to immediately attack her because of this guess. Perhaps the delays are caused by an overwhelming amount of work, a project that needs to be completed on time. Analyze the situation before starting a scandal. Such an act will have a negative impact on her career and sow the seed of discord.
• Communication with your ex is the most alarming sign. If the past is forgotten, and harmony and love reign in the current relationship, she will never want to stir up the past. Understand the situation. Who is the initiator of communication? If a guy persistently appears in life, you need to immediately push him away. Otherwise, betrayal will only be a matter of time.
• The lady avoids communicating with mutual friends. These restrictions also indicate the presence of secrets. The fear of giving yourself away forces you to limit any gatherings with conversations to a minimum.
• The beloved stops communicating with her family. If earlier she was present at family events and got along well with the guy’s family, now she avoids any visits and calls. This behavior can occur if the girl is cheating. She will be ashamed to look you in the eye, afraid to reveal her own actions.
• Significant changes in mood from day to day and actions that cannot be explained should be alarming. Telling the truth is scary, so she doesn’t know how to behave.
• When you try to call your significant other, and in response you hear that the phone is turned off. It is quite possible that it could have run out of charge, but if this situation occurs frequently, most likely the cell phone is turned off on purpose when secret meetings are taking place.
• Sexual connection is not in last place. If you notice changes for the worse, or sex in general has become a rare occurrence, it means it’s happening on the side. After all, the weaker sex needs it no less than men.

• She stopped nagging you and trying to correct your mistakes. It would seem that this is great, but in fact it is a serious signal that indicates that she is now indifferent to you. She simply doesn’t care what or how you do it, and the relationship fizzles out.
• If before you had no secrets, and access to social networks was open, now the passwords have changed and all attempts to find them out are met with hostility. This means that something has appeared there that outsiders should not know about.
• Unexpected manifestations of unprecedented tenderness are a sign that she is embarrassed and ashamed of her action and she wants to somehow make amends to you.
• Frequent visits to nightclubs with girlfriends may end in the bed of another. Such events should not be left to chance.

If the signs described above reflect reality and do not seem like a mere coincidence to you, you should not torment yourself with remorse. Try the following recommendations. Even if suspicions are dispelled, you will no longer wonder about infidelity.

• Absolute trust is not always justified, so you can safely follow your half. This way you will surely find out what is hidden behind the strange behavior.
• Without her noticing, check her social networks, messages or calls made. If this is carefully hidden from you, perhaps you will find something significant there.
• Ask one of your mutual friends to keep an eye on her. It may be that there is a certain colleague who shows excessive attention to his significant other.
• When your loved one cheats with your ex, it’s very easy to get emotional. It is enough to call your beloved for a serious conversation and say reproachfully that you know everything! If she is guilty of something, she will hesitate, and her nervous reaction will immediately show it.
• “My beloved is cheating on me, but no clear evidence can be found.” Come to her home or workplace without warning her. Practice shows that this method can catch you in the red.
• Talk to your partner more often, ask about her leisure time. When a person tries to come up with a story, he often gets confused in the details and contradictions appear. You will detect notes of lies.
• When letting her go to some event, do not forget to notify her about your “busy” schedule, and then come to this place to take her home. It is possible that you will not be the only man who will come to her.

How to proceed?

What to do if a girl stumbles and sleeps with someone else? The topic is painful and as old as time. To forgive or not? Only your own heart can answer such a question correctly. Calm down and carefully analyze the situation. The easiest way is to break off a relationship, to part as enemies, but if the love is strong and in the future you see yourself next to only her, doesn’t it deserve a chance? Many couples undergo similar tests and successfully cope with them. Moreover, given a chance, the person will be afraid of hurting you again and will value you.

“This is not the first time my girlfriend has cheated on me.” This only means that you are a backup option, she does not feel love for you.

You should run away from such a lady as quickly and as far as possible. You cannot create a family with such a person. Betrayal will occur throughout life, and future children will grow up with a disgusting example, applying it to themselves. Don’t lose your pride and dignity, take everything into your own hands and put an end to it. On the path of life you will meet a worthy, beautiful girl with whom you will gain peace of mind.

It is necessary to sound the alarm if your loved one cheats with an ex, because this cannot happen by accident. Girls can decide to do this only if old feelings have not cooled down or she is dissatisfied in this relationship. Think about it: should you keep the pair? Maybe she is still in love with him, but something prevented them from being together, so she was with you to drown out that pain, to forget. You shouldn’t torment yourself; the best option here is to forgive and let go.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Did your girlfriend cheat on you? Don't you dare suffer! Don't try to make a scandal with her! Don’t even think about shedding tears and snot and asking her why she did this to you! Remember that you are a man, you are a warrior, you are a winner, you are the stronger sex after all! How can some female, and since she cheated on you, it’s hard to call her a person, so we’ll call her a female, unsettle you? Come on, it’s not appropriate for you to bother with such a petty problem - have pride, remember your strength of spirit, your masculine qualities and simply step over the unworthy female individual who allowed herself to do this to you. Do you think this is difficult to do? Your heart is broken, your soul is blackened, and you can’t just forget about betrayal? Well, then let's try to better understand what a girl's betrayal is and how to survive it.

First of all, let's find out why they, girls, women, cheat on their men? You know, I wouldn’t like to write now about all sorts of instincts and the natural essence of a woman; I have written about this in detail in other articles. Let me just say that the tendency to cheat is part of women’s nature. And ours, the men’s too, by the way. We are also scoundrels, not all of us, of course, but many. We deceive and betray women, cause them great pain and suffering, and after that we somehow still live, somehow managing to look at ourselves in the mirror. Still, whatever you say, in this sense we are worse than women - we, men, cause women much more suffering than they do to us. But to our credit, we are not all like that. They, women, too, by the way. But that’s not what we’re talking about now. The point is that in our human nature, the tendency to betrayal is very deeply entrenched, and only our mind is able to curb it. So that's what I'm getting at with all this. And besides, if a girl cheated on you, this does not mean that you are somehow different, that there is something wrong with you, that you are a bad male and all that. So, throw all such thoughts and their derivatives out of your head. You may be, and I am sure that you are, a completely normal man, a normal boy who did everything for his girlfriend, but... What happened happened. Yes, they still cheat on us, no matter how cool we are. Why? Yes, because they are simply drawn to new sensations, to pleasure, to emotional experiences, to something new, not necessarily better, but simply new. For them, it’s like buying a damn handbag in a store; a woman just liked it and therefore was bought by her. So things are the same with betrayal - she wanted it - she took it and changed it. In general, the whole point here is the lack of correct, and in our case, traditional education, the absence of correct, that is, again, a traditional value system, and simply the lack of brains of the girl who cheated on you, without thinking about the consequences of her action . Well, you know, passion, feelings, emotions curbed her poor head. And the consequences, here are some, and perhaps many women and girls, think about them, of course, later. And very often, many of them, having realized and felt these consequences, regret what they did. After all, often after their betrayal they lose more, much more, than the person they cheated on. So your girlfriend, if she cheats on you, will most likely lose you, right? Will this make her feel better? Unknown.

So this is a simple reason, one might even say a primitive motivation, like that of the most ordinary female, that pushes a woman to cheat. Well, the mind doesn’t always cope with internal urges, you know. How often can we curb our “wants” and do what we need to do? That's it. What do you want? If a consumerist attitude to life and a thoughtless lifestyle have become part of our culture, then all the highest values ​​are simply not perceived by people. And in some cases they are even ridiculed. I personally read on forums on the Internet how some women ridiculed women’s decency and honesty, arguing that being a lying bitch is much more profitable, that no one needs decency and honesty. Here you are, dear reader - do you need decent and honest people, in particular women and girls? I think they are needed. But some women claim that they are not needed. This is our culture today, everything is mixed up in it. But overall, I think this culture is backward. When pleasure is paramount, and honor, honesty, conscience, respect, decency, loyalty, love, become the subject of ridicule, and some people do not understand these things at all, then it turns out that we are simply reaping what we sow. Culture makes us human, and you can see for yourself in what condition we have it. So it wasn’t the girl who cheated on you, it was the product of this culture that cheated on you. However, there are girls with a good upbringing and a completely decent value system, so let’s not lump everyone with the same brush. Let's move on to the next question.

What to do about it? I mean treason. Well, what do you do if you come across a defective item? You probably change it. Here too, if you think that you deserve the best, or rather, the best girl, then you look for this best girl, and let your cheater go on all four sides. In the end, your girlfriend is only conditionally yours, on the terms of your agreement with her, so to speak, and even legal marriage does not give you the right to fully control your partner’s life. In this sense, our culture, thank God, takes into account the interests of the individual. Therefore, if a person does not suit you, change him. And there is no need for unnecessary talk. Is it possible to replace a person? Can. If this person does not value you, if there is, so to speak, nothing sacred and nothing valuable for you left in him, then what kind of person is he, in the sense of what kind of personality is he? Well, what are the problems of replacing one that has made itself a thing? Really? Don’t be killed because someone didn’t appreciate you and didn’t live up to your expectations. If you saw in a person something more than he really is, then is it that person's fault? Well, don’t expect the apple tree to start bearing cherries. Of course, certain conclusions need to be drawn from this; after all, the girl’s betrayal could have happened, among other things, through your fault. Accept the possibility that you, too, are to blame for something. Just don’t ask your girlfriend what your fault is. This is actually a stupid question. You are unlikely to receive a truthful answer; you will most likely hear a lie with which the girl will want to justify herself. To understand what your fault may be for what happened, you need to objectively look at the whole situation as a whole, in the context of your entire life together with this girl, which is very difficult to do under the influence of emotions, that is, on your own. Seek help from your friends, if you have smart ones, and if you have them at all, I mean real friends, not so-so friends. Or better yet, contact a psychologist for help. Explain everything to him properly, in all the details, so to speak, and he will put everything in its place for you, that is, he will help you look at your situation from the outside and understand its pattern. This, in turn, will allow you to understand what role you played in what happened to you, and accordingly correct everything that you need to correct in yourself in order to prevent a similar situation from happening again in the future. By the way, a psychologist will also help you with this.

You know, friends, after all, as life shows, and at the same time my experience in solving such problems, many girls, having cheated on their boyfriend, often sincerely repent of their actions. But they fully realize the vileness and stupidity of this act, mainly when they are faced with unfavorable consequences for them, when they lose their man because of this. Well, this is typical for people, especially for women, who for the most part are influenced by emotions, and therefore do not always know what they are doing. We, as they say, what we have, we don’t keep, but when we lose it, we cry. In general, we are short-sighted creatures. Not all of us, of course, but some of us truly cannot foresee the consequences of our actions. This does not mean that some people are in principle incapable of this, it means that they are not trained to do this. If a girl has not been taught that before doing something, you need to think about what will follow, then she does not think. And you know what, sometimes, sometimes, a girl’s betrayal can be forgiven. Yes, I understand that it is not becoming for a man to forgive such things, but it can still be done. They girls sometimes become smarter after such a negative experience, and then they never change. I’m telling you this for sure, there are such cases and there are quite a few of them. You just see, some people can only learn things from experience. But the main thing is that they can learn something, which is very good. That's why I say that you can forgive a girl for cheating if she really realized her mistake and sincerely repented of her action. But we all make mistakes. Well now, we are all on the chopping block because of this. Here, of course, you need to analyze the girl properly in order to understand whether her betrayal was a mistake, and in general she is not inclined to such actions, or whether she is a chronic cheater who can no longer be re-educated. And based on this, you can already make a decision - to forgive her or not. Of course, if you still have feelings for her, if you love her, then it makes sense to figure all this out. And if the feelings have died completely, well then you need to look for a replacement for this girl. There is no need to suffer, we need to act, we need to start a new life.

And here’s another point you need to consider, dear readers. Treason, of course, is a terrible sin, reproachable, condemned, deserving of punishment, but in our vicious world there is little purity and sinlessness left, so sometimes it is worth turning a blind eye to someone else’s sin, so as not to be judged for your own sins. But we all sin, or better said, we are all prone to sin. So why should we judge others? It's better to think about your own life. For, as they say, no one is without sin. Do you understand what I'm talking about? Life may turn out in such a way that tomorrow you yourself may not be entirely honest with that girl who once, for example, now, cheated on you, because there are many temptations around us, and the sins of others can be used to justify your own sins, so that my conscience is not stuck. Who knows, maybe tomorrow you will also cheat on your girlfriend, and then what will you tell yourself, how will you justify your action? But today, now, you can simply hate her, you can suffer, suffer, find no place for yourself, because your Ego was hurt, because you were crap in your soul, because you were betrayed. So maybe you should think about tomorrow, about what action you can take, not so much out of revenge, but out of a desire to experience pleasure? No, I am in no way suggesting that this is right, and that you are no better than your girlfriend, and that your possible tendency to cheat is an excuse for her. I just want you to think about what tomorrow might hold in your life and how your girlfriend's cheating on you might affect your decisions. What if you also want to cheat on her, what if? You understand, if you do this with an honest girl, you will be a real pig, but cheating on someone who once cheated on you is somehow morally easier. However, this is not a universal view of treason, you understand. I just decided to show you from what other side you can look at it. It all depends on the specific situation and specific people. In some situations, cheating opens up completely new opportunities for the person who the girl cheated on.

In any case, a man’s life does not end with a woman’s infidelity, it is just beginning. Any incident that shocks us, any blow of fate is a signal that is designed to draw our attention to our life, to our value system, to ourselves. You definitely need to change something, because if a girl cheated on you, then this means that what should have happened happened, you just didn’t see the prerequisites for it. Therefore, you need to change something in your life and in yourself. What exactly depends on the situation. Either you need to learn to choose the right girls, women who do not cheat, or you need to behave with them differently, so as not to push them to cheat and not create conditions for it, or you need to change your lifestyle in order to be with your girlfriend more often, and not to disappear all day at work, and so on. There are many options here. In general, you need to draw an objective conclusion from what happened, so that you can not only see the reason for her betrayal in the girl, but also find and understand your mistakes. You don’t need to live the way you used to, you need to change your life. We all deserve love and happiness, but each person has their own path to them. Therefore, such disgusting actions as betrayal [if it is unacceptable for you], which gives us severe mental pain, guide us in the right direction, helping us to achieve our happiness.

Any betrayal is a betrayal. Questions arise: “What’s wrong with me? Why did she betray me, it was still good? And what should I do now?". The answers to these questions are worth looking for by looking at the situation through the eyes of the traitors.

Reasons for female infidelity

Any betrayal is a consequence of more serious problems in the relationship. Of course, the easiest way is to blame your wife for everything. However, this is not correct. Without getting to the bottom of the reasons for adultery, you will repeat the same mistakes over and over again. And this will lead to the same disastrous result.

Before starting the analysis, you must make sure that your wife is really cheating. The most reliable signs are collected in.

Sexual differences between the parties

“Our relationship lasted three years. During this time, I never had an orgasm, until one day I met a guy in a club. That’s when I found out about other sex and broke off the relationship.”(Ekaterina, 23 years old).

Sexual dissatisfaction- a textbook reason for cheating on husbands.

Unlike male orgasm, female orgasm is a delicate matter, which is much more difficult to achieve.

The problem is aggravated by parental education, which prevents the first person from starting a conversation about sexual preferences.

Some girls are open about their desires, but do not find understanding from the conservative partner.

Different sexual temperaments of partners are also a reason for cheating. Imagine the situation: a guy comes home tired after work or school, has dinner and watches TV or plays computer games. Lack of sex the girl compensates in someone else's arms.

All this time, the man sincerely considers the relationship normal. When this happens, he falls into a stupor and does not understand that this happened.
Unfortunately, reasons related to sex can hurt a man's self-esteem.

Total control on your part

“My boyfriend and I dated for six months. During this period I was under constant surveillance. In the end, I got tired of it and left for someone else."(Irina, 21 years old).

If your morning begins not with a cup of coffee, but with viewing her pages on social networks, you have serious problems.

The fear of losing a girl is based on lack of self-confidence. Self-confidence is the most important quality that girls value in guys. If you constantly demonstrate its absence, you risk losing the respect and love of a woman.

You can read more about the qualities of a real man that all women value in.

Lack of attention

“My ex looked after me beautifully: flowers, gifts, surprises and other pleasant little things. A year passed, I moved in with him. He stopped paying attention to me altogether and began spending all his free time with friends. He went to see them without me. Later at work I met a young man. After a couple of months I left"(Oksana, 29 years old).

Of course, the girls know that the candy-bouquet period is coming to an end. But this does not mean that you need to stop paying attention to her. A woman at any age wants to feel desired and loved. If work, friends, and computer games are preferred to her company, she fills the spiritual emptiness on the side.

I wanted some variety

“We have been living with our boyfriend for five years. I love him very much, but during this time we got stuck in a routine, I know in advance what he will say and what he thinks about. Once I met a young man, I wanted new sensations, and I cheated on my boyfriend. I still haven’t admitted to cheating, he won’t forgive.”(Alena, 27 years old).

When your life together turns into a series stable and dull days, any of you can get tired and switch to any bright spot that can add new colors to life.

There are also situations when a girl simply changes partners frequently. If you are on this list, you don’t even have to worry about it – the problem is definitely not you.

Environmental influence

“I lived with my boyfriend for about two years. My parents and friends didn’t like him right away; they considered him unworthy of me. He felt this and began to avoid meetings. Because of this, we often quarreled. After another quarrel, I went to a club, where I met a guy and cheated on my beloved.”(Svetlana, 25 years old).

Unfortunately, many married girls depend on the opinions of their social environment. To avoid unpleasant consequences, you will have to make a choice - either to gain the favor of people close to her, or to limit influence and convince her of the right choice of partner.

Do not avoid meeting with her friends or parents, so as not to give a reason to discuss you again.

In revenge

“Tired of my ex's numerous infidelities, I decided to repay him in kind so that he could feel what it was like. I didn’t prove anything, he continued to cheat, and we broke up.”(Alexandra, 27 years old).

Such a relationship right away doomed to fail. If you suffered the same fate, after breaking up, think about the reasons for your betrayal.

You can't forgive - where to put a comma?

Men experience betrayal more difficult, some even become depressed. What to do if a girl cheated on you? How to survive the betrayal of your loved one?

First you have to pull yourself together, calm down and force yourself to accept the situation. What happened, happened. There is no way to fix this.

Don't drown the problem in alcohol - it won't help.

Switch to other activities: Plunge into work, communicate with friends, take up a hobby. If this does not help, seek help from a psychologist.

Does it make sense to restore the relationship?

After you calm down, try soberly evaluate the situation.

If the girl repents and wants to return. Ask yourself whether you can forgive your unfaithful lover. Some men succeed.

However, to forgive does not mean to forget:

• Will you be able to have sex with her like before?
• Will you constantly suspect her if she stays late at work?
• Will you be able to refrain from bringing up memories and not mentioning them during every quarrel?
• Are you able to trust the traitor as before?

If you are not sure that you can forget about a girl’s infidelity, it is better to forget about the relationship. Otherwise, your life together will turn into hell.

The best cure for female infidelity is prevention

To avoid cheating in the future, you need to constantly work on your relationship. remember, that their main enemy is routine. It is enough to follow simple recommendations to create variety.

Regular varied sex

In bed you can't think only about yourself. Find out what your partner likes. There is no need to be shy: a serious relationship requires mutual trust. To liberate her, start with your fantasies.

Try new positions, arrange a sex excursion around the summer city, go with her to a sex shop, try it out, arrange sex via SMS or Skype. There are many options, it all depends on your imagination. You yourself will discover a new quality of sexual life.

Signs of attention

• Compliments. To make a girl feel desired, do not forget to regularly remind her of this. Write her compliments via SMS, notes.

  A list of the most original compliments to a girl’s beauty can be found.

  Options for the most original places for a date -.

• Present. Give gifts and flowers not only on holidays.

  Go on a trip to the sea together, fly to Murmansk in winter and look at the northern lights. Spending time together brings both partners closer.

  For a few more, see this article.

Do not rush to become despondent if your girlfriend cheated on you. Look at it from the other side: You gained experience, albeit unpleasant, and realized your mistakes.

Try turning the page and start enjoying freedom or finding a new darling. And forget your defeats, there are still many victories ahead. Good luck to you!

Previously, people were shot for high treason. Today, such an offense is punishable by a long prison sentence. Cheating in a couple, provided that the guy and the girl have a strictly monogamous relationship, is also considered a serious offense. However, the responsibility for it is naturally disproportionately less. And it lies directly in the reaction of the partner.

Why is cheating on a girl considered an extremely unpleasant act, and what to do if you find out that your beloved cheated on you with someone else?

The topic of betrayal, in my opinion, is one of the areas where many men are greatly mistaken in their assessments and their attitude towards this fact. That's why they make a lot of mistakes. And everything comes from “morality,” public opinion and education. And the very attitude towards sex. Let's first understand the reasons for betrayal.

Why does a girl cheat:

1. She is bored with you and wants new bright emotions.
2. Sex with you doesn't completely obsolete her. And she can find this flaw on the side.
3. She is, in principle, not suited for monogamous relationships. She likes to hang out with a lot of guys and hang out. Accordingly, consequences arise from such behavior.
4. She wants to take revenge on you for something.

It is important to understand that from a natural point of view, cheating on a girl and cheating on a guy are radically different. Since the programs embedded in a man and a woman are directly opposite: the male tries to fertilize the females as much as possible and spread his genes more widely. The female tries to bind the best of the males to herself so that he will take care of her and support the offspring. You can be indignant and try to argue, but you can’t argue with nature 😀 . All this is laid down at the genetic level.

Therefore, when a man cheats, he can do it for a change, for the sake of experiment, because the stars aligned. Even if everything is fine with his girlfriend, he can go to the left. Nature draws.

A girl, as a rule, doesn’t just do things like that. If she loves her boyfriend, has a rich sex life, etc., then she will not have the desire to cheat.

Conclusion: a man, when he cheats, looks for ANOTHER. Just another girl. He needs a new body.

When a woman cheats, she looks for THE BEST a man. This means that the real one does not suit her in some way, and she is trying to find a replacement for him one way or another.

But let's choose the most common and traditional example. A guy meets a girl. And they have a monogamous relationship. That is, a relationship in which sex on the side is not allowed.

And then the guy finds out that the girl cheated on him.

What does the average man do in this case? He starts to get angry and behave completely inappropriately. He can beat a girl and start hunting her lover to take revenge on him. It is clear that there is little pleasant in the fact of betrayal. But such actions will not make anyone feel better, including the guy.

You should control yourself and first figure out: it was casual sex, or the girl has a regular lover.

1. If the intimacy was one-time and fleeting, and if you value a girl who suits you in many life parameters, you need to have a serious conversation with her. Explain that relationships are based on trust, that it is very unpleasant to learn about such facts. And you absolutely do not accept her behavior. You also need to find out what prompted her to take such a step.

Maybe you don't have sex as often as she would like. Or she is a “fickle” person herself, and believes that one-time sex does not mean anything. Treats him simply.

In any case, if you think this is unacceptable, then say: “If this happens again, we will have to break up.” And be prepared for it.

1. The girl has a constant lover. This is a much more serious problem. Again, at the beginning you need to have a serious conversation, and more harshly than in the first case. (But without assault). Perhaps it’s worth parting with her at least for a while, so that she can think for a week or two that she needs and values ​​more in life.

You must understand the main thing: if after all the events and conversations you understand that the girl is not particularly repentant and the possibility of new betrayal on her part remains, then it’s better to go with her right away. Why do you need a girl who doesn’t perceive you as a man.

If she says that she made a mistake and this will not happen again, you should clearly explain to her that if she gives such a reason again, then you are breaking up with her forever without any conversations or convincing.

It is important to understand that if she has promised that she will not do this again, there is no need to conduct total surveillance of her. Check her phone, log into her VK account, etc. This limits a person’s freedom in any case, will negatively affect your future relationships and will further irritate yourself. If something goes wrong, you will know about it even without such checks.

Bottom line

Relationships are built on trust. If a partner undermines trust, it destroys the relationship. However, in some cases it is worth giving a second chance. Well, if this second chance doesn’t help, then it’s better to find another life partner.

I hope you now know how to behave with a girl after you found out that she cheated.