Summary of family counseling on child development. Consultation for parents “Basic rules of family education”

Children of early preschool age.

Introduction

Over the thousand-year history of mankind, two branches of education of the younger generation have developed: family and public. Each of these branches, representing the social institution of education, has its own specific capabilities in shaping the child’s personality. Family and preschool are two important institutions for the socialization of children. Their educational functions are different, but their interaction is necessary for the comprehensive development of the child. [Arnautova E.P. We are planning to work with our family. // Management of preschool educational institutions 2002, No. 4. – 66 p., p. 28].

The first school for educating a growing person is the family. Here he learns to love, endure, rejoice, and sympathize. Any pedagogical system without a family is a pure abstraction. In family conditions, emotional and moral experience develops; the family determines the level and content of the child’s emotional and social development. Therefore, it is so important to help parents understand that the development of a child’s personality should not follow a spontaneous path. [Davydova O.I., Bogoslavets L.G., Mayer A.A. Working with parents in kindergarten: An ethnopedagogical approach. – M.: TC Sfera, 2005. – 144 p. – (Appendix to the journal “Preschool Education Management.”]

Today, the potential capabilities of the family are undergoing serious transformations. [Unified educational space of kindergarten, family and society/Authors and compilers: T.P. Kolodyazhnaya, R.M. and others – Rostov-n/D, 2002. – 119 p.] Teachers note a decrease in her educational potential and a change in her role in the process of primary socialization of the child. Modern parents have a hard time due to lack of time, employment, and lack of competence in matters of preschool pedagogy and psychology. The closest people to a preschooler and the problems of his upbringing are preschool teachers who are interested in creating favorable conditions for the development of each child and increasing the degree of parental participation in the upbringing of their children. The full upbringing of a preschooler occurs under the simultaneous influence of the family and the preschool institution. The dialogue between the kindergarten and the family is built, as a rule, on the basis of the teacher’s demonstration of the child’s achievements, his positive qualities, abilities, etc. The teacher in such a positive role is accepted as an equal partner in education.

In order for parents to become active assistants to teachers, it is necessary to involve them in the life of the kindergarten. Working with families is a difficult task, both organizationally and psychologically and pedagogically.

The problem of interaction between a preschool institution and a family remains relevant today, sometimes acquiring an aggravated character. Difficulties in relations between families and educational institutions may be associated, for example, with a discrepancy in mutual expectations and with the sometimes mistrust of parents in educators. Misunderstanding between family and kindergarten falls heavily on the child.

Family and preschool are two important social institutions for the socialization of a child. Without parental participation, the upbringing process is impossible, or at least incomplete. It is necessary to strive to ensure that parents are not spectators and observers, but active participants in the life of their child.

Therefore, it is so important at present to improve the pedagogical culture of parents, to support and build effective, friendly and ethical relationships between the kindergarten and families.

Target our research: to theoretically substantiate the conditions for the development of interaction between kindergarten and parents through family counseling to improve the pedagogical culture of parents.

An object research: organizing interaction with parents of children of primary preschool age.

Item research: conditions for organizing family counseling for parents of children of early preschool age.

Hypothesis research: family counseling in preschool educational institutions as a form of improving the pedagogical culture of parents of children of early preschool age will be effective subject to the purposeful systematic work of the teacher with parents, creating a comfortable psychological atmosphere for parents and children in a preschool educational institution, taking into account the individual characteristics and problems of each family;

Tasks research:

1) study and analysis of theoretical and specialized literature on the problem under study;

2) identifying the essence of the concept of “family counseling”;

3) study of forms of family counseling for parents in a preschool educational institution.

Stages research:

Theoretical analysis of pedagogical, psychological, scientific and methodological literature.

Conducting a confirmatory experiment.

Organization of effective interaction between teachers and parents through family counseling to improve the pedagogical culture of parents of children of primary preschool age.

Description and presentation of research results.

The study was conducted on the basis of the GBDOU No. ... district of St. Petersburg.

A family is an initial organization of members of society that arises on the basis of a marriage, connected by kinship and economic relations, living together and bearing moral responsibility for each other. Throughout human history, the family has been the economic unit of society and has served the purpose of preparing children for certain roles in society.

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Consultation for parents Family education.

A family is an initial organization of members of society that arises on the basis of a marriage, connected by kinship and economic relations, living together and bearing moral responsibility for each other. Throughout human history, the family has been the economic unit of society and has served the purpose of preparing children for certain roles in society.

The following characteristic features of the family have a direct influence on the process of raising children: structure, living conditions and environment, cultural potential, sphere of activity, intrafamily relations, civic position. The level of pedagogical culture of parents is also of great importance.

The shortcomings of family education are the result of incorrect relationships between parents and children: excessive severity or excessive love for the child, lack or insufficient supervision over him, low general culture of parents, bad example on their part in everyday life, etc.

Authority should be understood as children’s deep respect for their parents, voluntary and conscious fulfillment of their demands, the desire to imitate them in everything and listen to their advice. The entire power of parental pedagogical influence on children is based on authority. But it is not given by nature, is not created artificially, is not won by fear or threats, but grows out of love and affection for parents. With the development of consciousness, authority is consolidated and gradually decreases and is reflected in the behavior of children. The educational power of parents' personal example is determined by the psychological characteristics of preschool children: imitation and concrete thinking. Children unconsciously tend to imitate both good and bad, to follow examples rather than moral teachings. That is why parents’ demanding control over their behavior is so important, which should serve as a role model for children.

The positive influence of the example and authority of parents is enhanced if there are no discrepancies in the words and actions of parents, if the requirements presented to children are uniform, constant and consistent. Only friendly and coordinated actions provide the necessary pedagogical effect. Important in creating authority is also the respectful attitude of parents towards the people around them, showing attention to them, and the need to provide help.

The authority of parents largely depends on their attitude towards their children, on their interest in their lives, in their little affairs, joys and sorrows. Children respect those parents who are always ready to listen and understand, to come to the rescue, who are always ready to help, who intelligently combine demandingness and encouragement, fairly evaluate their actions, are able to take into account desires and interests in a timely manner, establish communication, and contribute to the strengthening of friendly relations. Children need intelligent and demanding parental love.

Pedagogical tact is a well-developed sense of proportion in dealing with children. It is expressed in the ability to find the closest path to the feelings and consciousness of children. Choose effective educational measures to influence their personality, taking into account age and individual characteristics, specific conditions and circumstances. It presupposes maintaining a balance in love and severity, knowing the real motives of children’s actions. The correct balance between exactingness and respect for the dignity of the child’s personality.

The tact of parents is closely related to the tact of children - with a responsible sense of proportion in behavior based on a sensitive and attentive attitude towards people. At first it manifests itself as imitation caused by the example of elders, and later it becomes a habit of behaving tactfully.

Family culture.

The concept of cultural life includes correct relationships between family members, respect for each other, as well as reasonable organization of the entire life of the family. At the same time, children learn to independently reason and evaluate facts and phenomena, and parents pass on life experience to them, help them establish correct judgment and unobtrusively guide their thoughts. Conversations with a child in a free and cordial atmosphere create closeness between parents and children and become one of the means of parental influence.

Problems in upbringing often arise where the general life of the family is not sufficiently organized. The remnants of the old way of life, preserved in some families, also have a negative impact on the character and moral qualities of children; wrong attitude towards women, alcoholism, prejudices and superstitions.

Raising children in a family is also influenced by external conditions: the culture of the home environment, compliance with hygienic, general cultural and aesthetic requirements.

Knowledge of the age and individual characteristics of children.

Knowing the characteristics of children allows parents to learn how to properly treat them. Increases responsibility for their upbringing and ensures unity and consistency in the requirements for children from all family members.

Special pedagogical knowledge helps develop children's inquisitiveness, observation, the simplest forms of logical thinking, guide play and work, and understand the reasons for children's actions.

Parents' awareness of the physiological and psychological characteristics of young children helps them not only take care of the child's health, but also purposefully develop movements, cultural and hygienic skills, speech, and communication activities.

Types of families.

Several types of families can be distinguished.

1 type Prosperous families. This type of family is characterized by ideological conviction, high spiritual values ​​and needs, and citizenship. Relationships between parents in these families are built on love and respect for each other, and a creative approach to family education is noticeable.

Type 2 Formally prosperous families. And they are characterized by ideological conviction, a responsible attitude to production duties, but there is no respect between family members and spiritual closeness.

Type 3 Dysfunctional families. There are no spiritual interests, an indifferent attitude towards work and family responsibilities, a lack of work traditions in the family, and disorder in housekeeping.

Type 4 Single-parent family. These are families in which one of the parents is missing. Such a family can be prosperous if it is characterized by an ideological orientation, knowledge of the goals and objectives of education, and not prosperous if these conditions are violated.

What is a family and what are its functions in the development of children?

Family - this is a unit of society, the most important form of organizing personal life, based on the marital union and family ties, on the relationships between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters and other relatives living together and leading a common household.

The family plays a huge role in the life of both the individual and the entire society. Its existence is characterized by various material and spiritual processes.

The family has a decisive influence on the formation of the personality and mental development of the child. Communicating with mom and dad, brothers and sisters, the baby learns an attitude towards the world, thinks and speaks the way his family thinks and speaks. Having become an adult, he may not consciously accept some of the traits of his family, but unconsciously he still carries within himself the manner of behavior, speech, and character traits inherent in the family. All this is a lifestyle, a unique combination of traits, actions and skills that together determine the child’s route to his life goals.

Preschool childhood is a period of intense mental development, the emergence of mental neoplasms, and the formation of important personality traits of the child. This is the period of initial formation of those qualities that a person needs throughout his entire life.

At preschool age, not only those features of the child’s psyche are formed that determine the general nature of the child’s behavior, his attitude towards everything around him, but also those that represent a “background” for the future, such as self-esteem, etc. At this age stage, the child acquires only personality traits common to all children, but also his own individual characteristics of the psyche and behavior, allowing him to be a unique person with his own interests, aspirations, and abilities.

The emerging various kinds of qualitative formations, such as personal properties, psychological structures of the object of activity, communication and cognition, the intensive process of socialization of natural forms of the psyche, its psychophysiological functions, create real prerequisites for the transition to the school period of life.

Adults largely determine the originality and complexity of the mental development of a preschooler, shaping him as a personality and psychological readiness for later life. There are a number of factors that influence family parenting style: personality traits of parents and forms of their behavior; psychological and pedagogical competence of parents and their level of education; emotional and moral atmosphere in the family; range of means of educational influence (from punishment to rewards); the degree of involvement of the child in the life of the family; taking into account the current needs of the child and the degree of their satisfaction.

The influence of the nature of interaction between an adult and a child on the formation of a preschooler’s self-esteem is widely discussed in the domestic literature.

By now, the belief has formed that the style of parent-child relationships in the family is one of the main factors shaping the child’s self-esteem and the characteristics of his behavior. The style of parent-child relationships is most characteristically and clearly manifested when raising a child.

Changes in the development of a preschooler's self-esteem are largely associated with the development of the child's cognitive and motivational spheres, his activities, and an increase in interest in the inner world of people towards the end of preschool age.

Ya. D. Kolominsky considers an important component of a child’s personality to be its orientation, i.e. system of leading motives of behavior. The child’s motivational sphere actively develops in the preschool years. If a three-year-old child acts mostly under the influence of situational experiences, desires and, when performing this or that action, does not clearly understand why and why he is doing it, then the actions of an older preschooler are more conscious. During preschool age, the child develops motives that were not there in early childhood. A significant influence on the behavior of a preschooler begins to be exerted by such motives as interest in the world of adults, the desire to be like them, interests in new types of activities being mastered (playing, modeling, drawing, designing, etc.), establishing and maintaining positive relationships with adults in the family , kindergarten. This makes the child, especially towards the end of preschool age, very sensitive to the assessments of parents and teachers. The motive for the activities of preschoolers is often the desire to win “favor”, the sympathy of peers who they like, enjoy authority in the group, and self-esteem, the desire to assert themselves, competitive motives (to be better than others, to win, to win).

Children's behavior is often determined by cognitive, creative, and moral motives (especially in middle and older preschool age).

So, summarizing the above, we can determine the conditions for the formation of the selected characteristics of the child’s psychological health, and the condition for the positive influence of family upbringing on the mental development of the child.

Firstly, promoting the formation of the child’s activity, which is primarily necessary for self-regulation. We can talk about the existence of sensitive periods for the development of one or another type of activity (motor, cognitive, communicative, etc.). At the same time, it is necessary that during the sensitive period the child’s activity is realized in conditions of communication and with appropriate methods of organizing learning. Inadequate organization of life structures blocks activity, reduces its level or gives it a different direction.

Secondly, one of the most important conditions for the development of children’s psychological health is the experience of independently overcoming obstacles. Thus, the widespread belief about the need for complete emotional comfort is completely wrong.

Thirdly, all possible support for the development of reflection is necessary, when an adult encourages a child to understand himself, his characteristics and capabilities, the causes and consequences of his behavior.

Fourthly, the presence of a value environment in the development of a child is extremely important, when he gets the opportunity to see ideals around him, certain value aspirations of adults and, accordingly, determine his own value priorities.

In general, we can conclude that psychological health is formed through the interaction of external and internal factors, and not only external factors can be refracted through internal ones, but also internal factors can modify external influences. And let us emphasize once again that for a psychologically healthy person the experience of struggle, crowned with success, is necessary.

“Parents raise, and children are raised by the family life that develops intentionally or unintentionally. Family life is so strong because its impressions are constant, ordinary, that it acts unnoticeably, strengthens or sends away the human spirit, like the air with which we live.”

(A.N. Ostrogorsky)

Memo for parents on creating a favorable family atmosphere.

1. Remember: how the parents wake up the child determines his psychological mood for the whole day.
2. The time of night's rest is purely individual for everyone. There is only one indicator: the child should get enough sleep and wake up easily by the time you wake him up.
3. If you have the opportunity to take a walk with your child, do not miss it. Walking together means communication, unobtrusive advice, and observations of the environment.
4. Learn to welcome children after they are in preschool. You shouldn’t be the first to ask the question: “What did you eat today?” It’s better to ask neutral questions: “What was interesting in kindergarten?”, “What did you do?”, “How are you doing?”
5. Rejoice at your child's success. Don't get annoyed at the moment of his temporary failures. Listen patiently and with interest to your child’s stories about events in his life.
6. The child must feel that he is loved. It is necessary to exclude shouting and rude intonations from communication. Create an atmosphere of joy, love and respect in your family.

For successful parenting, not only love for the child is important, but also the general microclimate of the family. Parents are a tuning fork for a child: how they sound is how he will respond. In our daily lives, we perhaps suffer most from the lack of culture in people. And it’s not even a matter of politeness, because it is only an external manifestation of culture. We are talking about a lack of internal culture, and its level is most clearly visible in children.

Why should moral education begin at a very early age?

(parent's statements)

Because during this period the child is maximally open to emotional experience and empathy. He takes the words and actions of adults for granted, without questioning them, which happens at an older age when the child learns to analyze words and actions, compare experiences and draw certain, not always correct, conclusions. The experience acquired by young children will later move into the category of what is proper, true, canonical, and beyond doubt.

Who do you think plays the leading role in raising a child – the family or the kindergarten?

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Working with parents is one of the important activities of employees of preschool educational organizations. There are various forms of such work: speaking at parent-teacher meetings, holding thematic seminars and round tables, individual consulting, designing information stands, holding joint parent-child events, etc. All of them require careful preparation and significant time investment. The materials presented in this article can be directly used in the practical work of a teacher, as well as in the educational process of training students in the specialty “Preschool Education”.

The topic “Characteristics of family education styles” is hotly discussed in the pedagogical literature. But, unfortunately, parents do not always think about how to educate and what impact their actions have on the development of the child. Let's think about it. After all, many of the negative consequences of family upbringing can be prevented by knowing the basic characteristics of parental behavior styles.

Family is a small group based on marriage and consanguinity, whose members are united by living together and running a household, emotional connection and mutual responsibilities to each other.

A social institution, that is, a stable form of relationships between people, within which the bulk of people’s daily lives are carried out: sexual relations, childbirth and the primary socialization of children, a significant part of household care, educational and medical care.

Family education styles are the most characteristic ways in which parents relate to a child, using certain means and methods of pedagogical influence, which are expressed in a unique manner of verbal communication and interaction.

Each historical era is characterized by its own parenting styles. It depends on what type of personality society is interested in. Many scientists have paid great attention to the issue of studying parenting styles in different historical eras. Among them are J.A. Komensky, I.G. Pestalozzi, J.J. Rousseau and others.

The style of family education should be understood as the most characteristic ways in which parents relate to their children.

Child development begins in the family. And here two types of influencing factors can be distinguished: the environment and the influence of parents. Perceiving the world around him, the child learns what is good and what is bad, what line of behavior to choose in a given situation, how to react to certain events. Parents must help the child learn all this, promote the development of will, the ability to make the right choice, even if it is difficult, and adhere to moral positions in any circumstances.

The choice of family education style is influenced by:

• Types of parental temperaments, their compatibility.
• Traditions of families in which the parents themselves were raised.
• Scientific and pedagogical literature that parents read.
• Level of education of parents.

The main way parents influence is their example; young children always perceive their parents as a standard, copy their actions, accept the views of their parents, trusting them limitlessly. An equally important role in the formation of a child’s personality is played by the parents’ attitude towards him.

Many works by psychologists devoted to child-parent relationships are based on the typology of family education styles proposed by D. Baumrind more than 30 years ago, which substantively described three main styles: authoritarian, authoritative, democratic and permissive.

• Conniving style (synonyms in other sources: indifferent, indifferent, guardianship, indifference);
• Liberal (non-intervention; in some sources, the liberal style is equated with the laissez-faire);
• Authoritarian (autocratic, dictatorship, dominance);
• Authoritative (democratic, harmonious style, cooperation).

Let's present the characteristics of each style in the form of a table, where the first column will describe the actions of parents, and the second - the behavior of children as a result of using the style.

Permissive style and its characteristics

Liberal style and its characteristics

Democratic style and its characteristics

Probably, after familiarizing yourself with the characteristics of the styles, you have a question: “How can this be? We don’t use any of these styles in our family!” or “In our family, all styles have a place!” or “Our family has an individual parenting style!” And you'll be right. Family parenting styles are not always applied by parents in their pure form. For example, in some families, cooperation can sometimes border on indifference, dictate on non-interference, depending on the situation.

Parenting styles are used unconsciously by parents, but they cannot but exist. Lack of education is also a style. Family parenting styles are not always applied by parents in their pure form. For example, in some families, cooperation can sometimes border on indifference, dictate on non-interference, depending on the situation.

Chaotic alternation of styles and inconsistent actions of parents indicate chaotic upbringing. Conversely, parents can overdo it with care, and then cooperation develops into overprotection. In some sources you can find descriptions of the judicious and competitive styles, but again, they can be considered as variants of the main 4 styles.

D. Baumrind identifies three types of children, whose character corresponds to parenting styles:

1. Authoritative parents are proactive, sociable children.
2. Authoritarian parents make irritable, conflict-prone children.
3. Indulgent parents make impulsive, aggressive children.

So how should you raise children? The use of the democratic style alone is not always effective, although in terms of personal development it is certainly the best.

The choice of family education style primarily depends on the personality of the children and parents, on family traditions and moral principles. The upbringing conditions of the parents themselves leave a huge imprint.

In a preschool educational institution, much attention is paid to the pedagogical education of parents, including on the problem of parent-child relationships.

Forms of work of a preschool organization with parents on issues of family education:

• Conducting general (group, individual) meetings;
• Pedagogical conversations with parents;
• Round table with parents;
• Thematic consultations;
• Conferences with parents;
• Joint leisure activities;
• Disputes;
• Open classes with children in preschool educational institutions for parents;
• Organization of “corners for parents”;
• Family visit;
• Window dressing (photomontages);
• Open days;
• Parent Universities;
• Working with the group's parent asset.

There is an opinion that any, even the most delicate, upbringing deforms the child. The whole question is how much.

Of course, a person cannot survive outside of society - we need to pass on our ideals, knowledge and experience to children, teach them to live in this world, and cope with external difficulties on their own. But it is extremely difficult for a person who has not yet figured out his problems to maintain a balance in his upbringing.

As a result, the problems of our parents (for which they are not to blame) are reflected on us, this leaves an imprint on the upbringing of our children, and they already add their unresolved issues to this baggage and send them further down the chain. Paradoxically, this most often happens with the best intentions: because “it will be better for you,” “I know what I’m saying,” and “don’t repeat my mistakes.” But the fact is that the child simply needs to be given the opportunity to make his own mistakes and leave room for free will.

Popular wisdom says: “If your plans are for a year, sow rye; if for decades, plant trees; if for centuries, raise children.” We hope that the questions raised during our consultation helped you determine your attitude to the problem of choosing a family upbringing style.

Literature.

1. Agavelyan M.G., Danilova E.Yu. Interaction between preschool teachers and families - M. Sfera, 2009
2. Evdokimova E.S. Pedagogical support for families in raising a preschooler - M. Sfera, 2008
3. Pastukhova I.O. Creation of a unified space for child development. Interaction between preschool educational institutions and families - M. Sfera, 2007