Why do they love the beautiful, but marry the ordinary? Why do men marry ugly and stupid A handsome man married an ugly girl.
Well, let's take a more neutral option for the name, and see what's wrong here.
Why men marry ugly and stupid? Why men marry scary? I did not want to write this, but it is in such formulations that many girls are looking for the answer to such a burning question.
So, let's look at the direct and indirect reasons why men/ guys / young people often marry seemingly ugly, if not completely scary girls / women.
Reason number 1. Communication with very beautiful girls causes stress in a man.
As we perfectly understand, not all men are hand-written handsome men and Apollo Belvedere.
Most of them are quite ordinary human beings, whose beauty is hidden somewhere in the depths of their soul and does not manifest itself in any way from the outside.
Therefore, a man who objectively sees that he is an “ordinary middle peasant”, and nature, in addition, has not endowed him with a certain reserve of impudence, may well feel uncomfortable when communicating with a beautiful girl.
Moreover, this pattern also applies to rather "cool peppers" - they also often fall into stress and feel very uncomfortable.
And all why? The possibility of being rejected.
Yes, men, on average, are still cowards and are afraid that a mega-beautiful girl will simply blow them off. Yes, and not just, but with a special cynicism to show him who he is and where his place is.
This kind of refusal for a man is the strongest blow below the belt. It does not matter that he, for example, is a very successful comrade in the social or material hierarchy.
The sphere of relationships is another world that needs to be “conquered”, and if a man does not succeed, he feels defeated and worthless.
Reason number 2. Beauty takes a lot of time
Beautiful women are not always naturally beautiful.
Many girls would look much “greier” and more boring if it weren’t for a bunch of financial and / or time expenses for various kinds of manicures, pedicures, peelings, masks, painting, massages, fitness, etc. Events.
Do you agree? Agree.
And now the question is: And where will all the time that is spent on putting oneself in order and bringing it to perfection come from?
It is obvious that it needs to be “torn off” from something. And, most likely, a woman will tear this time away from a man - well, she won’t be able to do a hair mask or manicure right on a date.
From here, the man draws a very simple conclusion: since she is already disappearing to all sorts of salons and beauty centers, or (economy option) spends hours at home, what will change if she becomes his wife?
Never mind. So it will be zealous in the same direction.
And what's wrong with him? Yes, nothing good - either the “always busy” wife at home, or the forever absent, who can hardly devote time to his beloved and run the household.
I'm not talking about raising children, which, in a good way, is a separate "full-time job" ...
Practice shows that "salon beauties" are much less likely to be at home and restore home order and comfort, which so attracts men striving for family life.
Do not confuse beautiful with well-groomed
Many are trying to find a contradiction - they say, how not to be beautiful, because men first of all look at appearance.
Of course they are. Appearance is important. And that is why it is necessary once and for all to draw a clear division in your head: a woman may not be a beauty, but well-groomed. One does not interfere.
It is clear that greasy hair, acne all over the face and untidy clothes do not contribute to attracting men, so you need to take care of yourself.
Well-groomed works wonders even with the so-called "gray mice", while neither the natural nor acquired beauty of a girl can guarantee that a man will give preference to her.
Reason No. 3. Indirect connection "beautifully looks - higher demands"
Not always, but it can also be intimidating. And normal men too. Not only those who are looking for easy ways or make ends meet.
Even if a man is quite wealthy financially, he may consciously not want to deal with a very picky person.
Yes, this is not a problem for him - he can provide a dozen like her.
In his heart, he is looking for a modest, unpretentious girl. This is often the case.
And among poor men, oddly enough, there are also good people who will be excellent husbands and fathers ...
Reason No. 4. Subconscious desire to love imperfection
I thought for a long time how to name this reason, and this formulation seems to me the most accurate and capacious.
A man, without realizing it, feels that it is favorable for his soul to learn to love not so much everything beautiful and ideal, but that which has some flaws.
He feels that love for the beautiful and impeccably beautiful seems to deprive his soul of an incentive to develop - it's like eating sweet, sweet cake all the time for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Something tells him that, having learned to love the "ugly" or "ugly girl", he will reveal in his life a completely different layer of awareness and understanding of everything that happens.
Something tells him that he will come to an understanding of something really fundamental and important in this life.
This does not mean that a man cannot get the same transformations with a beautiful woman - not at all. He can. It will just be much more difficult.
Reason #5. Beautiful girls are more likely to have a bad temper
It is authentically known that excessively beautiful women in general have a more bad character (at least for the time being) than women with an "average appearance".
Why is this happening? The fact is that beauties tend to use their beauty as a "bribery tool."
Beautiful girls, therefore, more often have to overcome the subconscious conviction in themselves from the “everyone owes me” series and work to improve their character.
"Ugly girls" cannot count on their appearance, and she herself life initially teaches them to focus not on beauty and external attractiveness but on good human qualities, which are highly valued by men.
Considering all this, we come to the conclusion that a woman can certainly be a beauty with a wonderful character, but the statistics, alas, do not speak in her favor. As a consequence, many men will choose not to take risks.
All men like beautiful women, but not everyone will build a serious relationship with them.
Someone is afraid of being rejected.
Someone is only interested in the female body and sex. Women want to take advantage of the beauty and put a tick in their “diary of a hunter”.
Someone is afraid that he will fall into bondage and will not be able to meet the high demands of such a woman (and they are usually still the same).
Someone is afraid to be an “accessory” with such a woman.
And these are far from all the reasons why very beautiful girls find themselves in an ambivalent position.
One side, their beauty is an "unfair advantage" over other women.
With another- this is the risk of having a less prosperous fate in the field of relationships and family.
Outcome
Men do not marry scary, ugly or ugly.
They marry kind, sweet, feminine, modest, sincere, understanding, sympathetic, attentive, faithful girls.
Smart and mature men and guys (there are also those) marry those with whom they want to live their whole lives.
They choose a woman based on well-known sayings: "Do not drink water from the face" and "Do not look for beauty, but look for kindness."
It is wonderful when beauty and favorable character traits are combined in a woman, however when choosing a wife, priority will always be given to spiritual qualities.
Once again, I repeat that this is mature and a reasonable man, and ignoring these principles endangers the future marital union.
Dmitry Olegovich Naumenko,
Love Without Compromises.
Video lecture "Civil marriage: how not to get into trouble, and how to get out?"
In this lecture, we will analyze from all sides such an interesting social phenomenon as "civil marriage" (ie, cohabitation).
You will know all his true background and be able to make a meaningful choice.
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Why do men marry ugly people?
Well, let's take a more neutral option for the name, and see what's wrong here.
Why do men marry ugly and stupid people? Why do men marry ugly people? I did not want to write this, but it is in such formulations that many girls are looking for the answer to such a burning question.
So, let's look at the direct and indirect reasons why men / guys / young people often marry seemingly ugly, if not completely scary girls / women.
Reason number 1. Communication with very beautiful girls causes stress in a man.
As we perfectly understand, not all men are hand-written handsome men and Apollo Belvedere.
Most of them are quite ordinary human beings, whose beauty is hidden somewhere in the depths of their soul and does not manifest itself in any way from the outside.
Therefore, a man who objectively sees that he is an “ordinary middle peasant”, and nature, in addition, has not endowed him with a certain reserve of impudence, may well feel uncomfortable when communicating with a beautiful girl.
Moreover, this pattern also applies to rather "cool peppers" - they also often fall into stress and feel very uncomfortable.
And all why? The possibility of being rejected.
Yes, men, on average, are still cowards and are afraid that a mega-beautiful girl will simply blow them off. Yes, and not just, but with a special cynicism to show him who he is and where his place is.
This kind of refusal for a man is the strongest blow below the belt. It does not matter that he, for example, is a very successful comrade in the social or material hierarchy.
The sphere of relationships is another world that needs to be “conquered”, and if a man does not succeed, he feels defeated and worthless.
Reason number 2. Beauty takes a lot of time
Beautiful women are not always naturally beautiful.
Many girls would look much “greier” and more boring if it weren’t for a bunch of financial and / or time expenses for various kinds of manicures, pedicures, peelings, masks, painting, massages, fitness, etc. Events.
Do you agree? Agree.
And now the question is: And where will all the time that is spent on putting oneself in order and bringing it to perfection come from?
It is obvious that it needs to be “torn off” from something. And, most likely, a woman will tear this time away from a man - well, she won’t be able to do a hair mask or manicure right on a date.
From here, the man draws a very simple conclusion: since she is already disappearing to all sorts of salons and beauty centers, or (economy option) spends hours at home, what will change if she becomes his wife?
Never mind. So it will be zealous in the same direction.
And what's wrong with him? Yes, nothing good - either the “always busy” wife at home, or the forever absent, who can hardly devote time to his beloved and run the household.
I'm not talking about raising children, which, in a good way, is a separate "full-time job" ...
Practice shows that "salon beauties" are much less likely to be at home and restore home order and comfort, which so attracts men striving for family life.
Do not confuse beautiful with well-groomed
Many are trying to find a contradiction - they say, how not to be beautiful, because men first of all look at appearance.
Of course they are. Appearance is important. And that is why it is necessary once and for all to draw a clear division in your head: a woman may not be a beauty, but well-groomed. One does not interfere.
It is clear that greasy hair, acne all over the face and untidy clothes do not contribute to attracting men, so you need to take care of yourself.
Well-groomed works wonders even with the so-called "gray mice", while neither the natural nor acquired beauty of a girl can guarantee that a man will give preference to her.
Reason No. 3. Indirect connection "beautifully looks - higher demands"
Not always, but it can also be intimidating. And normal men too. Not only those who are looking for easy ways or make ends meet.
Even if a man is quite wealthy financially, he may consciously not want to deal with a very picky person.
Yes, this is not a problem for him - he can provide a dozen like her.
In his heart, he is looking for a modest, unpretentious girl. This is often the case.
And among poor men, oddly enough, there are also good people who will be excellent husbands and fathers ...
Reason No. 4. Subconscious desire to love imperfection
I thought for a long time how to name this reason, and this formulation seems to me the most accurate and capacious.
A man, without realizing it, feels that it is favorable for his soul to learn to love not so much everything beautiful and ideal, but that which has some flaws.
He feels that love for the beautiful and impeccably beautiful seems to deprive his soul of an incentive to develop - it's like eating sweet, sweet cake all the time for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Something tells him that, having learned to love the "ugly" or "ugly girl", he will reveal in his life a completely different layer of awareness and understanding of everything that happens.
Something tells him that he will come to an understanding of something really fundamental and important in this life.
This does not mean that a man cannot get the same transformations with a beautiful woman - not at all. He can. It will just be much more difficult.
Reason #5. Beautiful girls are more likely to have a bad temper
It is authentically known that excessively beautiful women in general have a more bad character (at least for the time being) than women with an "average appearance".
Why is this happening? The fact is that beauties tend to use their beauty as a "bribery tool."
Beautiful girls, therefore, more often have to overcome the subconscious conviction in themselves from the “everyone owes me” series and work to improve their character.
"Ugly girls" cannot count on their appearance, and she herself life initially teaches them to focus not on beauty and external attractiveness but on good human qualities, which are highly valued by men.
Considering all this, we come to the conclusion that a woman can certainly be a beauty with a wonderful character, but the statistics, alas, do not speak in her favor. As a consequence, many men will choose not to take risks.
All men like beautiful women, but not everyone will build a serious relationship with them.
Someone is afraid of being rejected.
Someone is only interested in the female body and sex. Women want to take advantage of the beauty and put a tick in their “diary of a hunter”.
Someone is afraid that he will fall into bondage and will not be able to meet the high demands of such a woman (and they are usually still the same).
Someone is afraid to be an “accessory” with such a woman.
And these are far from all the reasons why very beautiful girls find themselves in an ambivalent position.
One side, their beauty is an "unfair advantage" over other women.
With another- this is the risk of having a less prosperous fate in the field of relationships and family.
Outcome
Men do not marry scary, ugly or ugly.
They marry kind, sweet, feminine, modest, sincere, understanding, sympathetic, attentive, faithful girls.
Smart and mature men and guys (there are also those) marry those with whom they want to live their whole lives.
They choose a woman based on well-known sayings: "Do not drink water from the face" and "Do not look for beauty, but look for kindness."
It is wonderful when beauty and favorable character traits are combined in a woman, however when choosing a wife, priority will always be given to spiritual qualities.
I repeat once again that a mature and reasonable man does this, and ignoring these principles by him jeopardizes the future marital union.
Dmitry Olegovich Naumenko,
Love Without Compromises.
“Fools are lucky”, “only stupid people marry” - these statements have become almost an axiom. But are they really fair? And if so, then why do men marry ugly and stupid women, while beauties and smart women are bypassed? This will be discussed below.
Ivan is not stupid
The favorite hero of Russian folk tales is Ivanushka the Fool. He is lazy: he lies on the stove all day and chases flies. It has linear logic: "If the horse has four legs and the table also has four, then the table can walk." But in the end, Ivan gets the king's daughter and half the kingdom in addition. Many of us already in childhood guessed that this fairy-tale hero is not quite a fool. Or rather, not stupid at all. Now he would most likely be diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. This is a type of autism when social naivety is intertwined with high intelligence. Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton seem to have suffered from this syndrome. So Ivan is a fool only from the point of view of his dark surroundings. And if you measure his IQ, it would not seem enough.
As for women from Russian folk tales, you can’t find fools (and even successful ones) there in the afternoon with fire. All are completely Wise, Clever-Clever, Experts, not to mention the fact that they are all as one - Beautiful. The tale about how Mashka the fool married the prince, something I don’t remember. So don't think that love for fools is a tradition of our people...
Do gentlemen prefer blondes?
Where did the jokes about blondes and the idea that a woman should be a fool come from, since a man only marries an ugly and stupid one? They say it happened in the 60s of the last century, when Marilyn Monroe shone on the screens. American women wanted to imitate her and bought all the supplies of hydrogen peroxide in pharmacies to bleach their hair. And so the image of the blonde was formed: frivolous and trusting, taking everything literally - like Ivanushka the Fool. Only in contrast to the fairy-tale hero, who has neither a hidden nor an explicit mind.
They say blonde jokes are written by brunettes on long, lonely nights. In fact, the authors of these jokes are most likely men. Such jokes have become especially relevant in our country in the last 10-15 years, when a woman began to create real competition for the stronger sex in business. And in order to protect ourselves from the fear of being ousted from all positions in life, our hunter, protector and breadwinner began to create a myth: "All women are fools." And who is not a fool, she is lonely and unhappy.
With a stupid life
But do men really like stupid women? Do they need someone who listens with her mouth open, periodically inserting phrases: “Well, wow! What are you! Yes, you go! ”? In a month or two, you will want to scream in response, like the hero of Raikin: "Shut your mouth, you fool, I've already said everything."
No, apparently, by the word "fool" men understand something else. What attracts the stronger sex silly? She is predictable, all her thoughts are in full view (unless, of course, this is a clinical case). A fool will not pretend that everything is fine, and then - bam! - "I'm leaving you!"
She is not demanding, she will not hiss: “When will you start earning like Petrov?” Unless she puffs up her lips: “I want the same fur coat as Masha’s.”
She looks at her husband like a god: he does not try to re-educate him, remake him. What has grown has grown. Easily forgives and forgets insults, and does not understand irony, sarcasm at all.
The fool is emotional, simple and naive, like a child - she is wildly happy even with a toilet brush as a gift.
She is stupid - she cannot understand the simplest instructions, she immediately calls her husband.
If the missus is in trouble, she will not teach him “how it should have been”, reproach, give advice on how to fix everything. Unless he climbs with his feet on the sofa, buries his nose into his shoulder. And most likely, leave her husband alone.
Sometimes you can pretend
The fool is good because it is safe. Men are afraid of women, although, of course, they will never admit it. When they were still playing war games as boys, the girls were already scheming and learning how to manipulate both their peers and adults. Men know that a woman is stronger and more experienced in psychology, in intuition, in relationships. And if desired, it can turn the life of the faithful into hell. And a smart woman, even more so.
Usually ladies are advised to pretend to be a fool in order to please a man. It seems to them that this is when men get married - ugly and stupid have more chances. But, firstly, it's disgusting to play stupid. Secondly, well, it turns out that I, smart and educated, cannot be loved? And, in the end, no matter how much you pretend, "you can't hide the mind." But there is another way: do not demonstrate your intellect to a man, accustom him to your level gradually. To win a loved one, let him understand that you do not need to be afraid, that you will never direct your mind and knowledge against him. This is not a pretense, this is a "partial concealment of information." A fool is always a fool. A smart woman can become whoever she wants.
Tips:
Do not immediately pile on a man when you meet all the information about your achievements: how many institutes you graduated from, how you turn over business, how you press employees. Never do what the stronger sex can do for you: do not pour yourself wine at the table, do not pull up a chair.
Be guided by the installation: at work I am smart, businesslike, tough. And at home - weak, tender and need to be taken care of. Never tell a man how to do it - let him come to this with his own mind.
Very often we see couples on the streets in which the guy obviously wins in appearance. We constantly wonder why such a handsome man chose a completely ordinary girl as an ally. We asked a psychologist to comment on this phenomenon and explain what lies behind it.
Why do men choose women who are inferior to them in attractiveness?
Each example must be considered from several angles. If it seems to others that a woman is objectively not as beautiful as her man, then a man, on the contrary, may perceive her as an extraordinary beauty and goddess, be proud of her and assume that everyone envy him and turn his neck when he walks next to her.
Often a man's choice can be related to his personal image of an attractive woman, which stems from childhood, with his ideas about his mother, who, for example, was a short, full brunette with freckles. Therefore, a man is looking for a woman who outwardly resembles his mother.
Women are much more likely to marry than men, since the stronger sex is guided, as a rule, by the psycho-emotional background that is created when communicating with one or another representative of the weaker sex.
There is an intimate aspect, love, friendship and mutual understanding. A woman forms the core of the family, so a man will carefully choose her so that his lady is like his mother, also according to his personal feelings.
A man is tied to vivid emotions, he will prefer a cold beauty, a snow queen who is not very pretty, bright and with a twinkle, because with her, on the one hand, he will feel like a perky boy, and on the other hand, he feels comfortable, free, full-fledged personality .
Why do girls complex next to an attractive and successful man?
Complexes of girls come from childhood. Most likely, the woman was brought up incorrectly by her parents, especially by her mother, therefore, in the process of growing up, complexes were formed about the hump of the nose or short legs.
How to deal with insecurity?
The main thing in the attractiveness of a woman is how she feels and, accordingly, broadcasts to others. It happens that a woman is extremely attractive, but because of her complexes she will feel insecure, this will be reflected in her walk and look, therefore people will perceive her as less sexy, since all this comes from the subconscious.
There is a great practice: if you come to any event, be it a conference or a disco, and you feel insecure, as if everyone around is above your level, just put on a mask and play the role of a woman of their circle, attractive or successful enough. It will be easy because all women are actresses inside.
If a woman is embarrassed by the feeling that she is worse than a man, she needs to work on personal growth, go to a psychologist, work with attitudes, take a course, delve into childhood, deal with stereotypes, since we have been taught to compare ourselves with someone, this is necessary refuse. It is not easy and not a one day decision.
Every time you see in the mirror that you are fat or that your hair is not thick enough, every part of the body should be told that it is sexy and that you like it. You like yourself. It is important to control your thoughts, to tell yourself: "I am gorgeous, I am irresistible, I love myself."
This will be broadcast to others. There is a galaxy of conscious women, working on themselves, feeling beautiful and wealthy - such women are always surrounded by men, and it is no longer men who choose them, but they choose men. You need to develop, set goals for yourself and go to them.
Beauty is education, success and self-confidence, and not just appearance, we are not animals. And a man will be with you not because you are outwardly beautiful, but because you give him faith in yourself.
And how can you give it if you don't even believe in yourself? If you take yourself seriously, a pitfall may appear in your life: your man may leave.
If he chose you, lived with you for a long time in a relationship, then he is comfortable with you, he feels confident, he has a calm emotional background. He may like that you are modest and non-demonstrative, he is happy with you. And therefore, if you start to change, he may leave, not wanting to live with a self-confident beauty.
Feb 24, 2018 Olga
