Psychology girl is 7 years older. Multi-age marriage
Recently, there are more and more unions in which the woman is much older than her companion. Someone looks at such a marriage with a grin, someone with sympathy, and someone is sure in advance that nothing good will come from such an “unequal” marriage. So is there a future for such relationships?European sociologists noted that already at the beginning of this century, in every third couple going down the aisle, the bride was older than her chosen one. And in the United States, a third of unmarried women date younger men. The reason for this is the current emancipation of women. Most often, a woman marries a man who is much younger, when she is not at all interested in the material side of the relationship. As a rule, such women have established careers, are provided with housing and a stable income. Consequently, support from a wealthy spouse is not so important to them. It's no secret that a modern woman can feed and raise children on her own, without the help of a man. Therefore, the basic instinct is freed from social layers, and the fair sex is attracted to the young and productive representatives of the stronger sex.
Myths about “unequal” marriage
The life of such a couple is under the close attention of others, and there are many who wish to do so who devote all their free time to discussing when this union will break up. Public opinion is much more loyal to married couples in which the husband is much older than the wife. Therefore, a woman who decides to throw in her lot with a young man will have to go through a lot of prejudices and abandon stereotypes before she stops paying attention to the age difference. Let’s try to understand the myths about “unequal” marriage that society imposes and understand that they have nothing to do with reality.
MYTH FIRST. Such a marriage is obviously of convenience.
If a man is a gigolo, this does not depend on age at all. Men of this type will not refuse to live at the expense of a woman until they are very old. And if a young man does not have enough money to pay for dinner at an expensive restaurant, and he invites a woman to an ordinary inexpensive cafe, this does not make him a gigolo.
MYTH SECOND. The woman will become a “mom and nanny” for him.
With a husband of any age, a woman begins to play the role of nanny and housewife. In this case, most likely, everything will be just the opposite: the young man will try his best to prove that he is already an adult and knows a lot about everything.
MYTH THIRD. Sooner or later he will leave for a young girl.
A man can live in an ordinary marriage for twenty years, and then go to his daughter the same age. And there are many examples from life. No one can guarantee a long-term marriage. Therefore, it is better to simply live with your loved one without stupid prejudices.
MYTH FOUR. Marriage of peers is the most stable.
Statistics say the opposite: about 50% of marriages of the same age break up. The reason is the sexual incompatibility of the young couple. The young wife is not yet ready for her husband’s sexual activity and does not accept it. Therefore, families where the husband is 10 or more years younger than the wife do not suffer from such problems.
The advantages of such a marriage
Sexologists and psychologists argue that such “unequal” marriages have many chances for stability and longevity. The fact is that in such a marriage, the husband’s age encourages the woman to take extra care of her appearance, and besides, the young husband’s libido is at its best, which undoubtedly benefits both. On average, the peak of sexuality in women occurs at the age of 30-40, and the sexiest age for a man is 18-25 years. That is why often an adult woman who has gotten on her feet prefers a younger partner. From a sexual point of view, this is the most equal marriage, satisfying the needs of both men and women. A sexually intense life can only benefit a woman at any age, and for older ladies, sex with a beloved young man will help her stay beautiful and healthy longer. And the most important thing is that in an alliance with a mature woman, a man “matures” himself faster, gaining confidence and worldly wisdom. Young men who continue to live in marriage with their more mature wife demonstrated high professional and educational growth to sociologists, although in such families the wife’s leadership often remains.
How to save a relationship
There are special requirements for a woman's appearance. A young husband is a reason to constantly keep yourself in good shape and take care of your appearance. A woman must always be at her best in order to successfully compete with young girls, so she tries to maintain youth and presentability for as long as possible - after all, appearance is of great importance, no matter how strong the love. Under no circumstances should you put your partner in the position of a child, no matter how inexperienced he may be. You cannot surround a man with hyperprotection. A man at any age feels the need for leadership, so it is important to encourage leadership qualities, and not immaturity.
If a woman begins to put pressure on her partner with her authority and takes the reins of power into her own hands, then sooner or later the man will find a less demanding lover. You shouldn’t relax, because an “unequal” marriage has a greater chance of falling apart in the first three years of its existence. Look for the advantages of such a relationship in stable feelings, the absence of hysterics, accusations and suspicions. You shouldn’t be jealous of your partner just because he’s younger, and don’t be like twenty-year-old girls who are ready to cause a scandal at the slightest reason. You must remember that jealousy is the number one enemy of your relationship. And do not forget that age imposes an obligation to be wiser.
There is no need to tell a man about your fears; forget once and for all the phrase: “When you grow up, you will leave me.” There is no need to make a toy out of a man. If an adult woman reduces the whole meaning of marriage to the fact that she does not skimp on financial expenses and gifts for her young husband, and in return only expects sex, then the man will sooner or later get tired of it. Without trust, sincerity and understanding, no relationship will last long.
Examples of a happy “unequal” fight
Of course, happy “unequal” marriages exist! And there are many examples of this. Princess Elizaveta Petrovna was eighteen years older than her second husband. They lived happily for twenty years in a secret marriage. Balzac and Laura de Bernis, who was twenty-two years older, had been together for a long time. At the age of seventeen, Prophet Mohammed fell in love with forty-year-old Khadija, his first wife, and loved her for many years, even when he had numerous younger wives. Popular singer Claudia Shulzhenko was twelve and a half years older than her husband Georgy Epifanov. He carried this love throughout his life.
In a word, if a woman is older than a man, then such a couple is doomed to a happy future and the severity of disagreements at the same time, like any other couple. In fact, you shouldn't pay attention to age, because human years are just numbers. And age is judged by the state of one’s soul and way of life. Therefore, look for a person who will become a faithful and reliable support in life, will delight the soul and eye, and will be able to share one life between two. And let your age difference be large or small, or maybe it simply won’t exist, because the most important thing is love. And as you know, all ages are submissive to love! Where there is this bright feeling and desire to be together, there will be no reason for quarrels and separations.
Love rarely comes on demand, and even less often it takes into account such matters as eye color, income, education of the object of tender feelings, and even less so the difference in age. Especially in young years, when youthful ardor, coupled with romanticism and recklessness, forces you, turning a blind eye to everything, to rush into relationships like into a whirlpool, following the call of your heart.
Very often, emotional and close relationships develop between young men and older girls. The age difference can be one, two, five, or seven years. When both are not yet thirty, this difference sometimes makes itself felt. Girls mature socially earlier than guys and look at relationships more critically. And many guys wonder if it makes sense to build a relationship with an older girl, even if she clearly shows sympathy and attraction. And the girls begin to doubt whether this is a gigolo and whether he is looking for a “mommy” to get under her heel.
What confuses a guy in a relationship with an older girl? Modern couples sometimes have an age difference of 10 or 20 years, while... Young couples are no different; their age difference towards the woman is, of course, smaller, but also adds a special note to the relationship.
If she chose a guy younger than herself, it means that she needs him exactly like that. But this does not mean that the guy should not develop. After all, both must correspond to each other. She has a little more experience in life, she can become a strong support for her lover, and is responsible for the process of arranging a home if the couple already lives together. But only next to a strong, self-sufficient, wise companion does a man become doubly stronger.
The second pleasant bonus is that such couples have good compatibility in sex, since women truly open up in this regard after 30 years.
It may be difficult to build a relationship with an older girl if she has a child, because young guys are very rarely ready to be fathers in the full sense of the word. But sometimes, due to the greater proximity of age with the child, the young stepfather simply manages to make friends.
What should a girl not do in such a relationship? It’s paradoxical - but in no case does she need to pretend to be younger than she is, pretend to be a girl and pull a guy into the role of a dominant male, if he is not that way by nature. If he meets an older girl and develops this relationship, it means that she attracted him exactly as she is: more mature, more respectable, wise and serious. You shouldn’t torment yourself with thoughts that her boyfriend will certainly be taken away by the “young woman”. No one is immune from betrayal, and it is not the difference in age that pushes people into adultery. As long as you are attracted to each other, enjoy it, because no one can know whether tomorrow will come.
What shouldn't both of you do as a couple? Look at what people say, even if they are very, very close people. They live or have lived their own life, now you live yours.
If you still find it difficult to overcome certain internal barriers to the age difference, it is better to consult a psychologist. I am ready to help you understand yourself and set priorities. You will make all important decisions yourself. Our communications are completely confidential; meetings can take place either in person in an office in the center of Moscow or via Skype.
Five years ago I was a cheerful slob with one low-paying job and a dozen ruinous hobbies. I had a girlfriend, or rather three girls. Of course, there was only one nearby at a time. I’m ashamed to admit, but I chose them as things - according to the weather. One for a cheerful sunny picnic, another for rainy autumn melancholy, the third. The third is when you need to have lunch with someone on a hot working afternoon.
Sunstroke
I could imagine a lot of things. My own luxurious three-level apartment (which I still don’t have). And Mexico, where I will certainly take part in a costume ceremony depicting Aztec ritual sacrifices. I could even admit that I would get tired of the fun catching up on the career ladder, and I would enlist in the French Foreign Legion to chase terrorists across Africa. But I not only didn’t plan what happened, I couldn’t even imagine it. I live with a woman who is ten years older than me. And I’m learning to build relationships with a 10-year difference.
It was a low blow. And higher. Sunstroke right on the head, like in Bunin's story. And even a powerful hydraulic shock - from the inside, into the heart. It's difficult to explain. Imagine that you constantly see some unfamiliar and at the same time painfully familiar person in your muddy morning dreams. And suddenly you meet this very person in reality - real, laughing. It was a miracle in its purest form.
She did not charm me, did not seduce me. I just took it. She loved to repeat this joke: “I don’t need someone else’s, but I’ll take what’s mine, no matter who it is.” So she took me as something uniquely hers. Being around her was interesting, exciting, strange and at the same time calm and cozy. She was very different from all the girls I talked to then - my peers and those even younger... She didn’t lie, didn’t pretend, didn’t play any fictitious roles, she just lived. And she did it beautifully, with some kind of royal dignity and at the same time with bewitching simplicity. This, apparently, is what is called experience. Sooner or later it appears in everyone, even in the most stylish and inappropriate young girls. When they grow up, they, too, will probably become queens... Although I do not rule out that others will remain young fools until old age.
Languid sighs
I have never had better sex than with her with anyone. And it’s not about some kind of acrobatics or the fact that she allowed something that others usually didn’t allow (by the way, she did, yes). Please, don’t let anyone be offended, but sex with girls twenty years old or younger is unbearably boring. Now that I have something to compare it to, I would say that this is not sex at all. Young beauties are pointlessly trying to conform to some crazy template, formed by unknown films and existing only in their heads. Passionately and falsely, they take a languid sigh strictly once every five minutes. They refuse certain poses on principle: it looks, you know, somehow wrong. How should it look? And anyway, who is looking at them at this moment?!
It may be an older woman who understands exactly what she wants! And able to explain this to you without any embarrassment or false modesty. We had only one problem in bed - I couldn’t restrain myself for long. Especially the first two times. Now it has somehow stabilized. We tuned in to each other. And every time happiness bursts out of me, I scream like crazy, not thinking at all that someone will misunderstand me. And at this moment, you know, I don’t care to such an extent that for 10 years!
A girl is 10 years older than a guy: psychology
A couple of times in my life I cared. Once, friends invited me to a muddy charity concert and entertainment party. We came together. Everyone was quietly getting drunk. At first, acquaintances and strangers came up to me and said: “You are such a nice couple.” Then the girls began to wink and grin in an unpleasant way. And then one frame came to us and said something like, “Is it true that older women think about sex all the time?”
He then received it from me specifically for the “elderly aunts.” After which she, while washing my shirt, slightly stained with blood from a broken lip, in the toilet, laughed and said: “Let’s assume that it was you who proposed to me today.” She kissed me on my broken lip - it was painful and sweet.
The second time I cared was when we met her mother. A wild initiative on the girl’s part, of course. But what can you not do for your beloved? At first everything looked decent - cake, flowers, hello-thank you-please. And then her mother pulled her out to talk in the next room. From there it started saying “Are you crazy” and “He’s just a child” - exactly at a volume level so that I could hear, but the neighbors could not hear. And then my girlfriend jumped out - red-faced, in tears. And then it seemed like an electric shock struck me - she was so defenseless, so pitiful that suddenly it immediately became clear: she really was a little girl. And I, although younger than her, am actually older and stronger. I said only one phrase to her mother: “And we will live with me.” At that time, it was a blatant lie: there was no “me” yet. But a year later it appeared, because she is a little girl, and I am a strong man. Yes, and in the most intimate and affectionate moments, you know what she calls me? Daddy. And believe me, I'm proud of it.
Relationships 10 years apart
Well, yes, we have a ten year age difference. Everyone around me has long been accustomed to it. In fact, no one cares, but we feel good together. It turned out that there are a lot of common interests. We sorted out the household and economic problems surprisingly quickly. However, she is not friendly with technology. But it looks so cute when she enters into a life-and-death battle with yet another iPhone or netbook... If things get really tough, the real Batman always flies to the rescue and is a handsome man of all trades. I enjoy being Batman. We look like the same age. She does swimming, yoga and some kind of “bioenergetic self-regulation.” I don’t know which of these is more useful, but everything that is supposed to be elastic is elastic.
The funniest thing is to remember what event prompted me to decide, so to speak, to legitimize the relationship. For the first few years, the thought of marriage simply did not occur to me. And the beloved woman did not express any concern about this. On the contrary, she said: “I’m still young, I want to go for a walk, I’m not ready for serious decisions yet.” Just kidding. Or weren't you kidding? But one day a boy whom I know very well, three years younger than me, began to court her. And I was seriously afraid that I would lose her. She probably set it up on purpose so that I would see him handing her some skinny bouquet at the entrance to make me jealous. And I, of course, became jealous... She’s cunning, and, of course, she calculated everything in advance. For this I give her a special thank you.
She categorically refused a lavish wedding - we ran away from everyone on a tour of the Mediterranean. No girl would do that at twenty years old. But what about dresses, dances, ransoms, bridesmaids and other nonsense? And at thirty-something, a wedding without a crazy wedding is reasonable and... to my liking. We've been together for five years. Married for a little over a year.
Our future? Don't know. I only know that it definitely exists. And age... What is age? When she falls asleep on my shoulder, she sometimes catches my shoulder with her lips in her sleep. And as long as she does this, no matter how old we are, she will be younger than me.
Great husbands who were younger than their wives
Salvador Dali was 10 years younger than his wife and muse Gala. The fact that he is 10 years younger did not prevent the eccentric couple from maintaining mutual attraction until the end of their lives. When Gala died, Dali stopped creating and spent the last seven years of his life in sad loneliness.
Sergei Yesenin and Isadora Duncan were separated by 17 years. This strange passionate romance was subsequently overgrown with rumors and legends.
Milena Maric, Einstein's first wife, was five years older than him. When they met, he was 17 and she was 22. Many scientists believe that without her the theory of relativity would not have happened. The genius's second wife was only three years older than him, and she already had two children from a previous marriage.
Honore de Balzac called his first and most important love the writer Laura de Verny, married older woman him for 22 years. She became not only a lover, but also a friend and adviser to the writer, inspiring Balzac in his literary work.
Diane de Poitiers, the favorite of King Henry II of France, was 20 years older than him. Henry reverently loved her all his life, right up to his death at a knightly tournament, and considered Diana his muse and best friend.
Hmm...I’m experiencing strange feelings at the moment...Both happiness and some kind of ridiculous resentment (and all of this is already blowing my mind). I need to distract myself with something, from all sorts of bad thoughts that just keep creeping into my head.
And suddenly I was confronted with the question of the age difference between a guy and a girl.
What age difference should there be between a guy and a girl? More precisely, it’s not even that it SHOULD, but maybe in a relationship. More often in stereotypes you see that the guy should be older than the girl. I agree, maybe that's how it should be, but what if the girl is older than the guy? And what? Never mind! What difference does it make who is how old? I think this is complete nonsense. The main thing is not age, but trust and understanding.
Well, the most interesting thing is when the guy is older than the girl. Everything seems ok. A guy, as everyone is used to, must be older than his girlfriend. Okay, to hell with it. This is where I would like to think differently. If the guy is older than the girl by not 1-2 years, but more. For example, he’s 7 years older. What to do? Is this normal? Can such a relationship exist? I'll answer my own question.
Yes, of course they can. In fact, I think if a guy is 7 years older than a girl (we are considering 7 years) this is quite normal. And 10 years is fine. And 15 years. Does age affect relationships? It’s not for nothing that they say: “All ages are submissive to love.” Well, that's actually true.
Well, the most stupid thing about this is probably that the guy is not happy with it, it confuses him (not everyone, of course!). Perhaps he is even embarrassed by the fact that his girlfriend is much younger than him, and even more so if she is not yet 18 years old. The guy is afraid that he will be judged. Anyone can judge: friends, work colleagues, just acquaintances, perhaps even parents for the fact that his “girl is still very small.” “Dude, you should be older, not like “this one here.” No, damn it. I don’t understand what’s wrong with that. If she’s not 18, it doesn’t mean that she can’t love, can’t feel . They say that she has not grown up to love yet. But no, they are mistaken. The age difference does not matter! There is no need to judge for such love. There is no need to listen to other people who do not understand anything about it. There is no need to avoid. to be shy. Let everything be as it is - for real. Again, I repeat, age does not interfere with loving each other, caring. The main thing is different. When you take the paper to the registry office, this is where you need to think carefully. About the seriousness of the relationship. Family. Children! Children are wonderful. And in these matters you also need to be extremely careful (let everyone understand this sentence to the extent of their depravity)
This is all very difficult to understand and writing about it is also difficult. All thoughts are mixed in my head.
It would be interesting to know what opinions people have on this issue: what age difference do you think is acceptable for a relationship between a man and a woman?
It is very interesting to listen to objective opinions and, most importantly, if there are frank ones. Thanks to everyone who spoke.
The tradition of marrying a girl to a man who is much older than her dates back several centuries. Then it was believed that a large age difference would indicate a long and strong marriage, and a woman, thanks to her older spouse, would feel like she was behind a stone wall. But times are changing. More and more often you can find a couple where the older woman is not the man. Last time I touched on the negative aspects of relationships in which the woman is older. But there are a lot of good things that I didn’t mention...
What positive features does a union have in which the girl is older?
The presence of a young man will certainly encourage a woman to take even better care of herself, choose stylish clothes and shoes, do anti-aging procedures, give up bad habits, and play sports. Any woman understands that a young man needs to fit in, otherwise he can easily be taken away. A man, in turn, will also strive to look as good as possible, because next to a beautiful girl he will need to look decent.
When paired with a more mature woman, it is easier for a man to realize himself in life, since his chosen one has more life experience, she is more serious and in many matters more insightful than him. The female sex begins to mature psychologically earlier than the male sex, since in order to continue the human race, nature has endowed women with mental invulnerability and moral stability. Only next to a strong woman does a young man become truly courageous. A woman is able to give advice and warn her partner against mistakes and wrong steps due to her greater life experience. She will be able to prevent relationships from unnecessary scandals.
No matter how strange it may sound, a man is subconsciously determined to have a relationship with a more mature woman. Remember, from childhood a man is raised by women: mother, grandmothers, aunts, sisters; later they are nannies and kindergarten teachers and school teachers. Therefore, it will be much easier for him to build a relationship with an adult woman.
As a rule, women only come to understand their true purpose over the years. In their youth, many girls like to live in an atmosphere of idleness and entertainment, but with age they increasingly gravitate towards family life. An older woman takes better care of the cleanliness and aesthetic beauty of her home, she is more skilled in the culinary field and approaches the process of planning and raising children with greater responsibility. Over the years, the girl becomes more feminine. She will be able to provide the young man with the much-needed comfort and coziness. It is precisely because of the lack of the latter that young couples break up.
Celebrity couples where the woman is older:
A couple where the girl is older will have the highest sexual compatibility. Sexologists have long noted that the peak of female sexuality occurs at approximately 27-30 years, and for men - at 21-23. His energy and ability to quickly recuperate fit perfectly with her experience. This way, both partners can regularly experience maximum sexual satisfaction.
And to conclude this big topic, I would like to address couples where the partner is older:
1. Ignore public opinion. When a man is younger than a woman, this is a common occurrence in our time. Don't worry about how your friends and family will react. The main thing is that you love and are loved and it’s good for you to be together.
2. Teach each other. The age difference only benefits both parties. You can give your young partner life experience; with you, he will have a greater chance of achieving high results in his career. And he, in turn, will charge you with energy and introduce you to new trends in the modern world that you cannot learn from an older man.
3. Don't be jealous of your younger partner. Jealousy arises from lack of self-confidence. When a man is younger than a woman, there is room for constant suspicion. However, he chose you, which means he needs you and only you. But at the same time, do not give him complete freedom; go to various events together.
4. Feel the ease of relationships. If a man is younger, he is not inclined to reproach you, instruct you and limit your actions. He has a simpler approach to life, so you will have more fun. In addition, you will feel more confident and complete next to a young man.
5. Don't be afraid to build serious relationships. According to statistics, 53% of marriages in which the husband and wife are the same age break up after 2-3 years. The average length of marriages where the man is younger than the woman is 12-16 years. But many couples live together for 20 or 25 years.
6. Enjoy your sexual relationship. Youth and experience combined will bring you many pleasant moments.
Many unions in which the girl is older than the young man lead to marriage and long, happy family relationships. Cast aside all doubts and love your soulmate, even if she is much younger or older than you. Don't pay attention to other people's opinions, because this is your life and you should live it the way you want it.
