Passion as a destructive force. Love addiction - how to overcome love addiction to a man

Any woman, getting married, firmly believes that she will live happily ever after with her chosen one, in love and harmony. This happens in many couples. But, unfortunately, it also happens that after having been married for a certain number of years, a woman cools off towards her husband and falls madly in love with another man. Why is this happening?

Family psychologists identify several reasons why a similar situation may arise in a woman's life.

What makes a woman fall in love with another man?

A woman married not loving Alas, not all marriages are concluded for great love. Often, women get married not because they are in love with the chosen one, but simply out of fear of staying too long in old maids. The popular saying: “To endure - fall in love” in practice does not always justify itself. A woman's heart yearns for love, and if a woman has not been able to love her husband, then she will love someone else...

Husband's bad attitude Even if a woman married for love, if a husband often offends a woman, cheats, is rude, does not consider her. In this case, all the blame for the situation falls entirely on the husband. Crisis of marital relations Without exception, all families, even the happiest, go through moments of crisis, during which relations between spouses become aggravated, become uneven, conflict. Not all couples go through these crises successfully, especially if in a conflict situation each of the spouses can only hear himself and does not consider it necessary to adapt to his partner. And if, during a family crisis, a man meets a man with whom she has mutual sympathy, she may decide that her marriage was a mistake and rush into the abyss of a new love. Boredom There is a category of women who very often fall in love with other men due to the fact that they quickly get bored with calm and monotonous marital relations. Such women, when their family life flows smoothly and calmly, begin to get bored or rush in search of new love relationships, and the risk of exposure makes their feelings even more acute. Probably, such women are simply not created for quiet marital happiness... Meeting with a kindred spirit It also happens that a husband and wife are not bad people, but very different. If a man and a woman look at life differently, have different life goals and priorities, they can never be happy with each other and they will always have problems with mutual understanding. And if a woman living with a spouse alien to her suddenly meets a man on her way with whom she has a lot in common, then it is not surprising if she falls in love with him.

Thirst for romance The popular expression: "Love boat crashed into everyday life" turns out to be true for so many families. It should be clarified that love does not kill life, but the lack of romance, when the communication of a husband and wife comes down only to a joint solution of current family problems. And then another man appears near the woman, who gives her flowers, says compliments, beautifully declares his love - is it easy for her to resist?

What should a woman do if she loves another man? Lead a double life, cheating on her husband, or destroy the family for the sake of love?

Calmly analyze what happened. The reason why such a situation arose is very important. If the whole point is an unbearable relationship with a husband or a lack of marital love, then it is advisable to divorce not only because of new love, but also because living with an unloved person is immoral, and it is pointless to endure constant scandals! But if the only reason to destroy your own family is a passion for another man, then it builds you to think ... Soberly assess the prospect of a relationship with your beloved man As a rule, all love relationships begin beautifully, but it is not a fact that this will continue. It often happens that a woman begins to feel passion for another man and leaves her disgusted husband for him, and as a result, after a while, relations with her lover become the same as they were with her husband, or even worse! Before making a vital decision, a woman must realize that and that good is not sought from good. Be Honest The worst thing a woman who has fallen in love with another man can do is start dating her lover without her husband knowing. Firstly, everything secret sooner or later becomes clear, and secondly, having relationships with two men at the same time is simply unscrupulous. It is much more correct to honestly tell your husband about your decision to part with him, and only then begin to build a new relationship! Seriously talk with her beloved Before making a fateful decision, a woman should speak frankly with her beloved man and ask if he is going to join his fate with her if she becomes free. Very much because it is so convenient for them, since such relationships do not oblige them to anything! And as soon as a woman divorces for the sake of her beloved, her beloved immediately finds an excuse to break off relations with her.

Each of us wants love and affection, dreams of being passionate and showing full dedication in bed. But sometimes we confuse love with passion, and then ... we destroy ourselves with our own good intentions and actions.

You are drawn to a man like a magnet. It seems to you that without him - "the one and only" - there is no meaning in this life. The working day has just begun, but your thoughts are hovering around the evening, when the sensual impulse and desire will merge into one.

You can't think of anything but him. Constantly text him or call him, offering a meeting. You want not just attention, but that it is near and belongs to you and only you.

Thoughts revolve exclusively around him. And even the fact that he offended or insulted you on the last evening of the meeting does not play any role. The main thing is to see him again, to be in his arms. You feel good in bed with him, and nothing more is needed in this life.

There is nothing worse, says psychologist and therapist Dr. Gerty Senger , - than to become the object of sexual addiction, which carries a destructive force. This is capable of "destroying" a person, as it is a kind of destruction of the human personality. In this abnormal dependence on another person, the subordinate partner "disconnects" from the world and is at the mercy of the element, which is called PASSION.

A person falls into this sexual addiction like in fishing nets and it is sometimes very difficult to get out of them. The fact that a person is controlled not by passion, but by passion, is clearly visible to others. But the person himself, who has fallen into these networks, does not want to realize this fact and builds castles in the air, which have no real basis under them.

You think about him day and night, send him SMS, constantly call and impose a meeting. You exhaust yourself, get nervous, cry. This "love" exhausts, hurts.

With one hemisphere of the brain, you understand that this love will not bring you anything good, that this is a waste of time. But there is also another hemisphere that does not want to see the real and continues to knock with its hands and feet on closed gates where there is no entrance.

You were in the grip of passion, a kind of drug that slowly and persistently began to destroy your personality.

How to get rid of passion

A person caught in the net of passion does not want to be aware of this fact. He believes that the object of his sighs will still be there, that everything will be fine, just need to wait a bit.

It is possible that a person who has fallen into this addiction is repeatedly told about this by relatives, friends, and at work.

You should try to overcome yourself and descend from heaven to earth and understand the simplest thing that your obsession is just a passion, but not love, which, apart from suffering, does not and will not bring anything good to you .

Try to understand yourself and start doing auto-training. This method, which has been used for decades in psychotherapy, can calm you down and get rid of. Try to convince yourself that the object of your passions is not the person who can make you happy. Inspire yourself every morning that you are the most beautiful, smartest and most desirable woman, and happiness will surely knock on your door, you just have to open your heart and let another person into it.

Believe me, it makes no sense to doom yourself to torment and suffering, especially if they do not have a real basis.

Try to distract yourself from obsessive passion. Don't sit on the couch and wait for a call. Meet friends and acquaintances, go to parties and restaurants, go somewhere far away from home. Try to load yourself with work and go shopping.

Don't waste time on emptiness. Love yourself more than the object of your passion.

It's already spring, and then it will come. The time when everything blooms.

Take a look around. Perhaps, next to you is the person who can make you a truly happy woman.

Be happy and don't create problems for yourself!

Sexual attraction to another person can be fatal.

Yesterday you were happily married: your beloved husband is nearby, children are running around, in a word, the family is a full bowl. And today you are already ready to climb the wall from the emotions that have poured over you, because now your head is full of thoughts only about the man you met by chance. What is the reason for such a wild passion that can destroy everything that has been built over the years, and most importantly, how to get rid of attraction to a person if you understand that it will not bring anything good?

Look for flaws in it

Love magic can overshadow reasonable arguments. Nevertheless, make an effort on yourself and look at the object of your passion carefully. You may go crazy close by, but at a distance you will be able to think soberly.

Consider his appearance, pay attention to how he communicates with women. He is probably as nice to everyone as he is to you. If he is already well over thirty, and he is still not married, then this is a seasoned womanizer, accustomed to the increased attention of the fair sex. You are too easy prey.

If he wants you

Ask you not to follow. To do this, you do not need to be alone with him, he can turn the conversation so that you fall into his arms. If you have his contact details - call or write. Say that you have no secrets from your husband, and therefore he will not be delighted with the news that his wife has a boyfriend. Do not allow any revelations and do not give hope. You must talk to him as if it were in front of your husband.

Renew your relationship with your loved one

If you are suddenly drawn to the side, it means that in your relationship not everything is as cloudless as it seemed before. You may miss the romance of male attention, admiration for you. No matter how serious it is, the main thing is that the worm of doubt is already eating you, and you are ready to take a rash step. Return gratitude for everything in your life, for the wonderful person who is next to you. Share your experiences with him. Of course, you don’t need to talk about attraction at all, just talk about what is missing.

And if you feel a strong decrease in the sharpness and novelty of relations, go on vacation with your husband, just not to lie on the beach, but to explore some city or even a country. In the process, you will actively communicate with each other, and dangerous thoughts about the other person will disappear.

Love is a wonderful feeling, but there are situations when it transforms and no longer brings pleasure. In this case, they say that there is a love addiction, which can lead to disastrous consequences, so you need to fight it.

What is love addiction?

When a person cannot imagine his life without an object of adoration, then such a state is called love addiction. Experiencing great feelings, he is ready for any sacrifice for the sake of his soul mate. The paradox lies in the fact that in most cases people do not recognize the existence of a problem and take any advice with hostility. Dependence on love causes suffering in a person, and he can get upset even over trifles that are considered normal for normal people.

Love addiction in psychology

This problem is studied in detail by specialists, and they describe several forms of love addiction.

1. The loss of one's own individuality and the desire to maintain affection due to the replacement of one's psychological territory with a partner. Love addiction is a person's desire to devote his whole life to another, so he refuses friends, goals, interests, and so on. This form is characterized by masochistic tendencies.
2. Encroachment on personal boundaries, psychological territories and the individuality of a partner. There is over-control and an example is excessive jealousy.
3. Destruction of the psychological territory of a person with the use of aggression. Such love addiction can manifest itself in sadistic tendencies. There is a destruction and complete suppression of the partner's individuality.

Causes of love addiction

According to statistics, women are more subject to addictions, since they are more emotional and can completely dissolve in a partner. Dependence on love relationships can be provoked by such reasons:

1. Low self-esteem. A person who considers himself unworthy tries on the role of a victim, and he is ready to please his idol in everything.
2. Psychological inferiority. This occurs in a couple where people become dependent on each other, because they find favorable moments for themselves in a partner. As a result, they connect like Siamese twins.
3. Inexperience. Young people who fall in love for the first time succumb to a strong feeling, and in most cases it is false. By submitting to love addiction, they simply do not know that there is another kind of relationship.
4. Difficult childhood. People who have not received enough attention from their parents, or have suffered mental trauma, are at risk of those who may become addicted.
5. Fear of being alone. There are people who are ready to submit and give their lives as a sacrifice for the sake of another, just not to be left without a lover.

Love addiction - signs

In most cases, people in such relationships cannot determine the presence of a problem, but those around them will be able to identify the main symptoms without much effort.

1. from love makes you change, and a person begins to copy the interests and habits of his beloved. In addition, he stops communicating with his friends and, as it were, is protected from the events taking place around him.
2. The addict feels not from his love, as it should be, but begins to complain about life, reproaching the partner for insufficient attention. Discontent appears almost constantly.
3. Gradually developing depression is considered a clear symptom, even when longing is well in life.
4. The addict destroys relationships with family and friends by his actions and deeds, moving away from them.
5. All conversations come down to one thing - the object of admiration, and all conversations have a positive color, that is, the beloved is put in the best light.

How is love different from addiction?

Many people often confuse these two concepts, so it is worth considering the main differences.

1. When there is normal love, then lovers in separation feel normal, and when they are addicted, they suffer.
2. When figuring out how to distinguish love from addiction, it is worth noting that in the first case, partners have inner freedom, and in the second, it is absent.
3. True love inspires, gives positive emotions and helps to become happier and stronger, while addiction is destructive.
4. When there are sincere feelings between people, then there is equality in a couple, since lovers give each other the opportunity to develop. When there is a love addiction, then one of the partners suppresses his desires.

How does love addiction end?

Relationships in which a person suppresses himself cannot lead to any good events, because they cause pain and suffering, and both partners. A strong love addiction leads to the fact that the individual does not feel complete without a soul mate, from losing his individuality and interest in life. Breaking up a relationship can end up being tragic, as there are many reports of people committing suicide for love.

How to get rid of love addiction?

When a person realizes that his relationship is not normal, it is necessary to put an end to it in time and free yourself from the shackles. There are several ways to overcome love addiction, so you can try several of them at once. It is believed that the problem is serious, so without psychological help it is almost impossible to get out of it.

There are numerous psychological methods that provide assistance in such situations, such as psychoanalysis, hypnotic detachment, and others. Experts give advice on how to overcome love addiction to a man:

1. Good medicine, which is suitable for many, is a hobby. An activity that will distract and give positive emotions will make life more diverse and brighter.
2. Work helps to cope with mental problems. Success in the workplace, career advancement, communication with different people, all this is good medicine for parting.
3. Getting rid of love addiction can be carried out with the help of sports. Physical activity raises vitality and self-esteem, and also helps to improve your appearance. An excellent option is yoga, which has a positive effect on the emotional state of a person. To waste the accumulated energy, it is recommended to dance.
4. Psychologists advise not to close in yourself and lead an active life, communicating with other people. Support in such a situation is very important.

Prayer for love addiction

Priests give recommendations to people with different types of addiction in order to quickly cope with the problem. It is important to confess and take communion, go to services and regularly communicate with God, asking him for help. If you are interested in how to get out of love addiction with the help of faith, then it is recommended to read the prayer presented every morning and evening.

Conspiracies from love addiction

There is a powerful rite that helps to cool feelings, and it is necessary to carry it out during the waning moon, so that dependence also decreases along with the Earth's satellite. Women should use magic on women's days: Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. The practice of getting rid of love addiction involves the use of the natural properties of water.

1. Retire in a room to isolate yourself from external noise, that is, be sure to close the doors and windows.
2. Prepare cold water and it is better if it is spring or well, but tap water is also suitable in case of emergency.
3. At the next stage of the technique of getting rid of love addiction, a conspiracy over a glass of water is meant, which should be repeated three times. After that, drink half of the liquid, and wash yourself with the second part and sprinkle yourself around with it.

Affirmations for love addiction

It is believed that a person can attract events into his life, so it is important to watch your words. If you are interested in how to get rid of love addiction, then you should use affirmations, that is, positive statements. Numerous repetitions act as self-hypnosis or self-hypnosis. It is believed that the more often affirmations are repeated, the easier it will be to get rid of love addiction. It is important to say them in a positive tone. Example of an affirmation: “I have ceased to depend on (name). I control and manage my life by protecting my heart.”

Mantra to get rid of love addiction

There are special verses that can affect a person's consciousness, and they also help spiritual perfection, and they are called mantras. They are repeated, listened to and meditated upon. For those who are interested in how to overcome love addiction, it is recommended not only to pronounce mantras, but also to use spiritual practices. It is better to repeat the presented text 108 times every day on the waning moon. It is important to chant the mantra as you exhale.

Movies about love addiction

There are many movies that use the theme of love obsession. The most popular films about love addiction can be distinguished:

1. "Lolita". The movie is based on the famous novel and tells about the crazy love of a man for a young girl.
2. "Fear". The story tells about a young girl who falls in love for the first time, unaware that her chosen one is a zealous and tough owner.
3. "Fan". This film tells about the life of a guy in whose class a new girl appears who falls in love with him and after a while she becomes obsessed with him.

Books about love addiction

1. "Gone with the Wind" M. Mitchell. A well-known classic that describes Scarlet's love for Ashley. She realizes too late that the habit of love has long supplanted the feeling itself.
2. The Great Gatsby F. S. Fitzgerald. Love dependence on a person is also read in this work. The protagonist became a rich and powerful man, but fell in love with a girl who turned out to be a dummy. As a result, an inexplicable love addiction led him to death.
3. "Letter from a Stranger" C. Stefan. This book describes the story of a woman in love who decided to write a letter to her object of adoration, and the text took up as many as 30 pages. She doesn't know if the feelings are mutual.

I am madly in love with my husband, we have been together for 4 years, I have always loved him, I always thought that this is love for life, that I will never want to look in the direction of another man in my life, he was so adored, respected, loved by me. And then there is a meeting
which turns everything inside me. Man. Married. And I look at him and go crazy. Everything that I lacked in my husband seemed to be gathered in him, he is his complete opposite, he beckons me, attracts me, he has a mad passion for him. I want him, I constantly think about
German I hate him, I cry, it breaks me all over. I NEVER thought this could happen to me. I can’t behave normally with my husband now, and if everything continues like this, he will suspect, he will understand. And I don't want to ruin this relationship, he's my own,
He is like my best friend, brother, father. And that other one is like a fresh breath of air, like a stormy hurricane, like a living passion, like a breath of youth and beauty, like spring, which again came into my frozen, routine-sucked soul ... So it tosses me between two
lights and all life is not life. Mine, but not mine. How to live on, the devil knows. I pretend that everything is fine, I look forward to meeting, we are working together and will see you again soon ...
Rate:

Irena, age: 22 / 23.12.2016

Responses:

Hello, Irena. The passion for this person will definitely pass, and you will see that he is not an ideal man, but the most ordinary one, with his own advantages and disadvantages. You still don’t know him well, and fell in love not with him, but with your dream, with those qualities that yours lacks.
husband. Remember, when you got married, did your husband also seem ideal to you? And further. He also doesn't know you very well, only at work. Think about whether he will accept you for who you are, forgive you your weaknesses, as your husband does? If you destroy two
family, then, disappointed, you will regret it. And disappointment is inevitable. Ask God to save you from thinking about this person, take care of your family.

Anna, age: 01/26/2017

Dear Irena! You are tormented by passion, but not love. And for the sake of sin you want to destroy the family? Fight with passion, avoid meeting with its subject. Passion is clothed in a beautiful shell, as if seething with life, but in fact it is unsightly and disgusting, like any sin. You
there is a husband, develop relations with him, forget someone else's man. You write that your soul is frozen and sucked in by routine. Maybe this is the reason for your passion? Why did the soul freeze and why did routine take hold of it? Is sin necessary to overcome this? Is it possible without
sin to change life so that the soul is alive? Repentance before God and prayer helps.

Natalia, age: 45 / 01/07/2017

Irina, this is youth and passion, energy and violence. In your words about another man, a hurricane of passions breaks out, and you speak about your husband very calmly and evenly, with love and warmth, in your own words he seems to me a safe harbor and care, dear and
close person. Now think about whether you need to cool down, step aside and not destroy what is given to you from above. You talk about routine, about a frozen soul. Who do you think is responsible for your condition? What needs passion in you, what do you need it for? What are you
achieve? There are many questions. You should turn to an experienced priest or, in extreme cases, a psychologist, in order to first understand the nature of your feelings, and then act. Don't you then reap the rewards? It is easy to destroy, but very difficult to create. There is a good
English proverb: If you don't control your passion, it will control you.

Irina, age: 45 / 01/09/2017

Irena, hello! I understand you very much, last year I had a similar situation, I was suddenly attracted to one man, an acquaintance of my husband, he is also married. In addition, I saw on his part an attraction to me. And it was very strange, because. we are really very
different and why it happened was not clear. I remembered my youth - how I lived with such passions, hobbies, I felt this state again. It was so strong and so unexpected that I was simply confused if I were not a believer, and did not understand what it was.
just a TEMPTATION, I would think that this is something important. I realized in time that it’s just a strong hobby, it’s not connected with something fateful, my destiny and love is my husband. Dear Irina, we are faced with a strong temptation for a family woman, this is a dummy,
this strong feeling cannot bring happiness, it only brings pain and destruction, Thank God, you are talking about love for your husband, which means that it is in your power to maintain and strengthen this love, even if your relationship with your husband is not very good, believe NO attraction to
an extraneous ALIEN man will not give you happiness. All this will evaporate very quickly, and if you give in to it and move on, it will break your whole life and the life of your husband. Do not praise this feeling, do not believe that it revived you so much, this, of course, is falling in love, and it always
shakes the whole person a little, but this can happen more than once, it's just a game on our hormones, and LOVE is built precisely in the family, you ALREADY have a family - what is most important in life, you are still very young and may not be realize the value of relationships
between husband and wife, but, believe me, this is a very great value. To get rid of this obsession, ideally, you would need to not see each other at all. If you "hit" very seriously, you can even think about changing jobs. Trust me, your family is at stake. Can't be searched
meetings, this will only inflate the desire, here it is necessary to completely stop seeing and communicating. Find strength in yourself. Take responsibility for your life and the life of your husband. Don't fall into the trap. It's too easy to destroy everything, but to create a family and
it is very difficult to keep feelings in it. Are you OK! And it will be even better! There will be children, you will be even happier, mentally thank this man for this experience of feelings and let him go, consciously do not call his image before your eyes, do not plunge into desire,
just forbid yourself and everything will slowly pass. It’s just that, apparently, everything in your family is calm and good, and when it’s calm, we don’t always appreciate it, and such a shake-up seems to be something sublime, only this is a deception, an illusion, and God give you the strength to overcome it and stay
faithful to her husband in deed and in thought, all the best to you!

Olga, age: 30 / 01/12/2017

"I don't want to ruin this relationship"... For a real loving person, a husband or wife is not a relationship, it's life itself, breath, air. In marriage, a person becomes family. Relatives.
Learn to love your other half. Realize all the injustice, abomination, shamelessness of sin. And don't sin. For the sake of preserving your soul, your conscience and the whole family - chaste. For true love.

John, age: 01/25/16/2017

Good people, thank you all so much for your wonderful responses and for your concern! Thanks to you, I became on the right path, began to avoid this person and now I have completely stopped thinking about him. You were all right. And my husband is sacred and I'm ashamed to think now that I have
there were such thoughts. Thank you all again! You are wonderful people!

Irena, age: 01/22/2017

No need to give in, you are doing everything right that you hold on, it's just passion, hormones and emotions, but true love is different, it is embodied in your husband, better try to renew romance with your husband,
arrange a surprise, go somewhere to relax, do not scold yourself for these thoughts, you are a person, just do not give in, good luck and love!)

Kira, age: 02/17/2017

Write terrible things. Earlier, during the war, women were so faithful and chaste that they waited for their beloved for years, or even decades. Some 60-70 years have passed and modern society has become
sodom and gomora. People have become corrupted to unthinkable limits. Being married, they look at other people's wives (husbands) with adulterous passion, as if a Man has been turned into a beast. How can you even imagine that
in addition to a wife / husband, a person can have a fan / lover on the side. Why, this is all a betrayal: oneself, a spouse, children, parents, Divine commandments, in the end the name of a person. Love is one for all
life, the one and only. I don’t blame anyone, but such stories (and there are a lot of them) just make your hair stand on end. Is it all happening on the same planet? God bless you, love each other to the end
centuries.

Valery, age: 04/28/06/2017