Male pride: “Sima, you are talking insultingly! Male ego - cherish, store, protect.

Probably, some of the readers will object: “Again, take care of men! And who will take care of us women?!” You can, of course, arrange constant confrontation, but at the same time it is difficult to expect that family relations will be kind-hearted, because the key to peace in the family is the ability to give in, smooth out sharp corners and not tease each other, not touch pain points. And for this, it is not out of place to find out what most often irritates men, and what women's actions are difficult, if not impossible, for them to forgive.

In general, a loving man will forgive you a lot if it does not accumulate to some critical mass. It is this feeling of some kind of impunity that many women perceive as the right to do and say whatever comes to their mind, to achieve their goals by any means. And how deep is the disappointment when one day such a usually soft and accommodating man rebels and ceases to be controllable. It is very important to maintain a certain line in a relationship, to cross or even reach which will be an almost fatal mistake.

So why won't a man forgive you? Almost all men (no matter what they sometimes say out loud) believe that it is impossible to forgive female infidelity. For them, such a betrayal has nothing to do with their own, male, because often, identifying cheating on their wife with a simple need for sex, men do not attach any importance to it at all. Even having changed, they continue to consider the woman they love the most precious creature.

Female adultery is rarely accidental - for the most part, there is passion, sympathy, search and need for tenderness, affection. A woman, cheating, actually makes it clear to her man that a relationship with him means nothing to her. Male pride in the event of a betrayal of a beloved woman suffers the most and, even if a man forgives, he is unlikely to ever forget the very fact of betrayal, and your relationship will become what it was before.

Men never forgive women if they assign themselves a dominant role in a relationship, put themselves above men. A man, whatever he may be, should and wants to feel himself the main one - a support, a protector. He wants to feel stronger, more confident, therefore, even if you earn more, know how to make decisions and implement them, then spare male pride - do not try to take on the role of mistress of the situation. Even if a man does not oppose this, sooner or later he will not withstand such a moral burden and will go to someone with whom he can be strong and self-confident.

Don't compare your man to others. He wants to be the only and best for you, so your comparison humiliates him, gives rise to complexes and dull irritation, which can always get out of control. Moreover, you should never emphasize your role as a mistress in the house or show out loud the shortcomings of your husband and the advantages of other men in the presence of children.

The question of whether smart women like men or whether they prefer fools is constantly discussed. However, to assume that men love narrow-minded fools is, excuse me, female stupidity. A beautiful and smart woman nearby is a balm for male pride and a reason for pride. And, of course, a smart woman will never demonstrate her mind and knowledge to the detriment of the image of her man.

Do not forgive men and women's attempts to manipulate them through intimate relationships. Denying intimacy under false pretenses is one of the easiest ways to push a man to cheat. And to make consent to intimacy dependent on “his behavior”, generosity, the fulfillment of whims, etc., is simply dishonorable.

After getting married, many women believe that "the job is done", and that's it - you can relax! Yes, yes, now we will talk about the notorious greasy dressing gowns, curlers and masks on the face - the very form in which some women do not consider it shameful to show their husband's eyes. Even if he is silent, does not express his displeasure about this, think about this: during the day he is surrounded by smart and well-groomed women, and now he sees his wife in full dress only when she is about to leave the house - that is, she tries to look for others. Sooner or later, your husband will think about why you no longer want to like him?

You can also list some women's habits that annoy men: endless TV shows, an ineradicable thirst for gossip, endless telephone conversations, long aimless shopping trips, the habit of buying everything in a row, etc. They turn a blind eye to many things, trying not to focus their attention and not notice. But remember about the “critical mass”, be able to stop in time and think about whether it is worth getting on your nerves, annoying your husband, bringing him to the point of expressing displeasure and indignation.

Do you want peace and tranquility in your family? If you want your man to love and respect you, spare his pride and do not forget about respect. The family cannot do without it!

Each man's developmental history is unique, and it is in his past that secrets are hidden that can affect how easily a man can survive criticism or attacks on his self-esteem. Most men are not ready to endure women's nagging. And if they do not leave the family, then they leave love. Instead of showing love to their wife, they would rather spend time in the garage, in the company of friends or at a football match. Leaving love is not always physical, at times it is a departure into some type of virtuality, a departure to another world where his woman is forbidden to enter. It could be computer games, alcohol, side-dating, or casino games.

In order to understand what is more important for a man: hurt pride or love, take a closer look at the relationships in his family. If parents found fault with their son too much, set too high standards, he can, even in adulthood, subconsciously look for a wife who will not put him in a penny. Men who are able to forgive their wife or lover their hurt pride are often incapable of accepting unconditional love.

Unconditional love is an important foundation for healthy family relationships. This is the highest type of love, almost an art, which, unfortunately, few people own. How often do we hear from parents: "If you get a deuce, don't come home." Or: "You have to try, my son cannot finish second in the competition." These words can hurt any, even the most stable psyche. And when such a person becomes an adult, even hating such phrases, he can unconsciously look for a partner who will also pronounce them to him. Only the conditions that must be met in order to earn love change. “Don’t come home without a salary,” the wife says to such a husband. And then wonders why he doubts her love.

Thus, we can clearly distinguish unconditional love from conditional love. Unconditional love does not require any effort to maintain, it does not have to be earned. If a woman loves a man unconditionally, she accepts him for who he is. Sick or healthy, rich or poor, affectionate or irritated. He does not try to remake him, re-educate him, not set conditions. If the wife constantly blackmails her husband with various conditions, criticizes him, destroying his self-esteem and pride, we are dealing with conditional love.

I must say that all people strive for the best. And if a woman notices signs of a mentor or a critic in herself, she should think about changing her point of view on relations with her beloved man. Even a man from a troubled family, accustomed to conflicts and constant criticism, may at one point realize that he is tired of all this. And then the relationship may come to an end.

It is not for nothing that a number of men "see the light" at the age of forty. They leave their wives for "young fools" who look at them with their mouths open. Unconditional adoration, respect for authority for a man is more important than any established relationship in which a woman is too critical of him.

A woman who wants to avoid such problems with her husband should think about how she talks to him, in what tone she expresses approval or criticism, in what form she declares requests. That is why men often react irritably to rather harmless, at first glance, requests? Because often, when asking to go to the store and buy potatoes, men hear a reproach that he does not care enough about the family. And the hurt pride of a man is a poor basis for family relationships.

There are two fairly simple communication techniques that will help you avoid problems with male ego.

Firstly, psychologists recommend giving compliments instead of criticism. After all, there is nothing difficult in that instead of: "Take out the trash can", say: "When you take out the trash, I feel in seventh heaven from happiness / weak / desired / loved." Improvisations on this topic may not work, so first write down all your standard requests to your husband on a piece of paper and reformulate them not in the form of a request or demand, but in the form of a compliment.

Secondly, not with regards to situations with requests, try to tell your husband more often about how good you feel next to him. Say that you appreciate in him care for the family, care for you personally, the ability to solve everyday and material problems. If you ignore the big problem, but praise your man's small achievement, you won't have to ask yourself the question of what is more important for a man - hurt pride or love. After all, in your relationship there will be no such problem of choice.

... Whenever you are ready to utter a phrase to your chosen one, including the phrases “you are wrong”, “your neighbor has a better car”, “the nail should have been hammered higher”, get ready that the answer may be dejected silence, an image of offended virtue and other types of demarche ...

And all because with one tiny remark you risk striking a blow to male pride. It would seem that avoiding unwanted moments is as easy as shelling pears - not to say or do anything that could hurt a gentle male soul. But in fact, it turns out that this very soul is truly limitless, wherever you step, you step on its holy boundaries. Psychologists only nod in agreement - they say, yes, there is such a topic: boys are born victorious and Caesars, and any doubt about their viability is treated as a premeditated crime. A small nuance: the actions and words of the fair sex are a hundred times more offensive than similar actions on the part of men. Because when a colleague Voldemar says: “Sergo, it’s time to scrap your car,” then he is just an envious person, a blockhead, or his sense of humor is clumsy. But God forbid the girl to quote the same thing: this means that she does not love, does not respect, has met another and is looking for a reason to quarrel. As you can see, it is impossible to give clear instructions like “do not mention Alexander the Great and Andrei Arshavin in his presence and don’t wear it,” because the subject can get angry because of the innocent: “Oh, where did you get these funny sandals? My grandfather liked to flaunt in such at the dacha. Therefore, we will only name the most dangerous moments for male pride and offer “anti-Sovietism” - anti-advice that will make it easy to make sure that “wow, the method works!”

Indifference

It's ignorance, it's inattention. It takes a man out of himself only on the condition that he has a trump interest in the young lady and climbs out of his skin, trying to attract attention to himself. Sometimes the method can be used by young ladies consciously, even if there is mutual sympathy - "but so as not to think about yourself a lot." It was at the indifferent look of the charmer that many celebrity supermen were bought: when a crowd of fans and admirers roared around, one calmly asked, “And you, forgive me, who?”. She fell for it, as they say. In a word, the pride of the gentleman always suffers when the situation arises "he is with his eye, she is with him sideways."

Anti-advice: Realizing that the gentleman favors you, as he has taken the style of inviting you in and looking with an immodest look, we put on coldness, we make a skeptical face. It is not forbidden to clarify at every opportunity: “Sorry, I forgot your name again.” We try not to get out of the image of the Snow Queen, when one day he parades past with another.

Criticism indirect

This is generally elementary: respond unflatteringly about any of his interests, doubt the fidelity of his convictions (the latter is categorically not recommended if you have a copy of Che Guevara or Vladimir Zhirinovsky in front of you - he will shoot or spit). The logic is simple: if you said that only infantile idiots can watch this film ten times in a row, and the chosen one was just sitting down to watch it for the ninth time, be sure that he will suspect something was wrong and get worried. Well, offended, as without it. Indirectly, you can criticize anything, even socks. For example: “At our school, a math teacher wore these, only in a rhombus. Well, Ivan Semenych Sapogov ... A kind of drunken intellectual.

Anti-advice: Seeing that the man is again stuck at the computer and is trying to pass the ninth level, gluing a model of an airplane or drawing tanks, we come closer and ask as disdainfully as possible: “How can you do this nonsense? It's the same for the defective." Let's go and see the reaction.

Criticism direct

The word is right, it's stupid to even explain. Men can say as much as they like that they have nothing against constructive criticism, but even the most obvious impartiality (“wow, how your bald head has expanded!”) in the mouth of a lady who cares about them becomes a terrible, blatant tactlessness. Naturally, deliberate.

Anti-advice: We start a heart-to-heart conversation with the subject, call him a loser, remember that he does everything in a blunder and "his ears are cold." We admire the effect produced and get used to the reciprocal demonstrative silence for three days.

The comparison is not in his favor.

Of course, you can compare men. But preferably with the same Macedonian and Arshavin, Apollo, Bruce Willis, etc. And only in one context: your counterpart has the same strategic talent, masculine charisma and a beautiful body, you can easily confuse from the back and in the dark. And the comparison is completely unacceptable: “Yes, where are you up to Bruce Willis! From you Arshavin, as from Soso Pavliashvili - a hockey player! Put down the ball and go field the geranium!”

Anti-advice: Men's pride will whine with resentment if you arrogantly say in front of your husband: "But our neighbor has a better car than you." It is strictly forbidden to say the same about the neighbor's wife.

Valuable tips

We accept it as an axiom: from the moment of birth, a man knows that “cheerful - you need to speak more cheerfully, cheerful - more cheerfully”, that nails are hammered and screws are screwed in. And God forbid you to climb arm in arm with advice: “Hold the hammer at an angle of 120 degrees!” Because any tseu is regarded equally: “Why are you holding me for a fool?! Have I really lived to be 30 (40.50, 100) years old and don’t know how to sculpt a snowman correctly ?!

Anti-advice: We are waiting for the next joint trip by car, we comfortably sit in the passenger seat, from the bowels of which we do not forget to shout: “Vitalik, the movements are smoother, you will now tear off the steering wheel! Don’t drive, where are you driving, are you in a hurry to the cemetery? We are not surprised if he says that next time you will go only in the trunk, tied up and with your mouth sealed.

Taunts

The one who shows us a man who is ready to admit that he does not have a sense of humor is guaranteed an incentive prize. Literally everyone assures that in terms of ironic remarks they are Zhvanets, Zadornovs, Ilfs and Petrovs. However, if the joke is addressed to the laughter-entertainer, you can be sure that he will be offended. Because "I'm not a little boy to make fun of and laugh at me!"

Anti-advice: We find a photograph where the gentleman, then a student of the eighth grade of a high school, decided to let go, therefore, he was captured with a haircut "caret to the ears." We laugh loudly, shouting: “You look like Mireille Mathieu as a child!” We rush to reassure the sharply frowning citizen and assure him that we did not have anything bad in our thoughts.

Diminutive nicknames

This is a paradox, the author laments, but is forced to state a fact. We, women, adore appeals like "sun, bunny, kitten, fish." And just as much, men hate them. If your Busik does not say anything out loud against the “Busik”, it doesn’t matter - he secretly grinds his teeth, he is such a goat.

Anti-advice: We catch a five-year-old nephew, squeeze in our arms, saying: “Oh you, my sweetie, oh you, my little one!” We are convinced of the above, when the kid breaks out of captivity with a cry: "I'm not small, I'm big!" You see, and we warned - goats have this "trouble" since childhood.

Sex bummers

Pa-bam! We got almost to the top of the hit parade. Because a man, although he winces, will endure ridicule, play with his jaws, but will swallow criticism. But everything that concerns proximity for him is terra sancta, and hooligans on this sacred land are dearer to him. It is impossible to list all aspects of sexual relations where male pride can suffer irreparable losses. Because entirely contradictions and inviolable taboos. Judge for yourself: the rejection of intimacy offends a man, he can justify it only if the partner has a through wound in the head. Since she is guided by the rule: "does not want sex with me = does not love = she has another." At the same time, try to tell the boyfriend: “There is only a horizontal relationship between us, in principle, it’s enough to confine ourselves to “close the curtains” and “thank you, everything was fine.” God, his outrage will be comparable to the power of the volcano Eyyafyatlayokudl. Because, it turns out, you see in him only an object of sex pleasures, you don’t care about his feelings, and in general, this is insulting. Those who agree to without obligations and seem to be without feelings, deep down they are sure: “She loves me anyway. It just hides."

In addition to the fact that it is undesirable for men to refuse, but everything cannot be reduced only to sex, there is an inexhaustible list of prohibitions. Let's name the most famous ones: you can't mock his dignity (you know what), you can't remember your ex-lovers and conduct a comparative analysis aloud, you can't command at the moment of truth and give instructions. Yes, and to criticize what happened in bed, they say, it happened better - in general, it’s impossible at all. If you plan to return to this one. Because men from such resumes are overgrown with complexes and prefer to bypass the overly frank madam in a roundabout way.

Anti-advice: There will be no advice. Because there is bed etiquette, because men are alive and vulnerable. And if it is purely from the experiment to “cast a bullet” about his sexual abilities, it means to sow complexes and insecurity in a person. Rest assured, the followers will not thank you for this. In a word, at least out of female solidarity, let's leave male pride alone.

Treason

“... there is no shorter word,” Grigory Leps sang. The word is short, but the consequences are a wagon and a small cart. According to our scale, betrayal, preference for another man is the absolute leader. Of the consequences: a minimum - knocking the ground out from under your feet for a while, a maximum - a warped fate. After all, when the most beloved person does not need you, everything else loses its meaning, male pride is not just wounded, it is sprayed into atoms. Don't expect anti-soviet.

So, have you made sure that male pride extends much wider than from Kaliningrad to Vladivostok? And what to do with its owner, put sirtaki in the center and dance around him? Preferably. And a man needs support, faith in his strength, approval and praise. Well, at the same time love and fidelity - without it in any way.