Features of communication with difficult preschoolers conclusion. Coursework "features of communication with difficult children of preschool age"

UNESCO singled out only four educators who determined the way of pedagogical thinking in the 20th century. Among them is Anton Makarenko, the author of Pedagogical Poem, known for his work with difficult children. It was he who proposed his own system of education and successfully put his theory into practice. The book includes the most important and significant of the huge pedagogical heritage of A. S. Makarenko. Anyone who is interested in the problems of raising the younger generation will find answers to a wide variety of questions in this book: how to gain parental authority, how to create harmony in the family, how to develop a sense of purpose, how to promote the comprehensive development of the child, how to raise a happy person, and much more.

A series: Child psychology bestsellers

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by the LitRes company.

Chapter first

Where do difficult children come from, or How NOT to raise a difficult child?

Goals of education

Now let's move on to the most important issue, to the question of setting the goals of education. By whom, how and when can the goals of education be set and what are the goals of education?

By the goal of education I understand the program of the human personality, the program of the human character, and in the concept of character I put the entire content of the personality, that is, the nature of external manifestations and inner conviction, and political education, and knowledge - decisively the whole picture of the human personality; I believe that we, teachers, should have such a program of the human personality, to which we should strive.

In my practical work, I could not do without such a program. Nothing teaches a person like experience. Once I was given several hundred people, and in each of them I saw deep and dangerous aspirations of character, deep habits, I had to think: what should be their character, what should I strive for in order to raise a girl from this boy, human? And when I thought about it, I saw that this question cannot be answered in a nutshell. Raising a good person - it did not show me the way. I had to arrive at a more extensive program of the human personality. And, approaching the personality program, I met with the following question: what - this personality program should be the same for everyone? Well, should I drive every individual into a single program, into a standard, and achieve this standard? Then I must sacrifice individual charm, originality, special beauty of personality, and if not, then what kind of program can I have! And I could not resolve this issue so simply, abstractly, but I had it resolved for almost ten years.

I saw in my educational work that yes, there should be both a general program, a “standard” one, and an individual adjustment to it. For me, the question did not arise: should my pupil turn out to be a brave person, or should I raise a coward. Here I allowed the "standard" that everyone should be brave, courageous, honest, hardworking. But what to do when you approach such delicate parts of the personality as talent? Sometimes, in relation to talent, when you stand in front of it, you have to experience extreme doubts.

I had such a case when a boy graduated from a ten-year-old. His last name is Terentyuk. He studied very well - with fives, then he wished to go to a technological university. I discovered in him a great artistic talent before that, and a talent of a very rare fullness of a comedian, extremely subtle, witty, with excellent vocal cords, rich facial expressions, such an intelligent comedian. I saw that it is in the field of acting that he can give a great result, and in a technological school he will be an average student. But then there was such a hobby, all my "boys" wanted to be engineers. And if you start talking about becoming a teacher, they laughed right in the eyes: “How is it consciously, on purpose, to become a teacher?” - "Well, go to the actors." - “What are you, what is the work of an actor?” And so he went to the Institute of Technology with my deepest conviction that we are losing a wonderful actor. I gave up, I have no right, in the end, to make such a breakdown ...

But here I could not resist. He studied for six months, participated in our drama club. I thought and thought and made up my mind - I called him to a meeting, I said that I was making a complaint against Terentyuk: he did not obey discipline and went to a technological university. At a general meeting they say: “Shame on you, they tell you, but you don’t obey.” Decided: "Expel him from the Institute of Technology and assign him to the theatrical college." He walked very sad, but he could not disobey the team - he received a scholarship, a hostel in the team. And now he is a wonderful actor, he is already playing in one of the best Far Eastern theaters, at the age of two he has gone the way that people do at ten. And now he is very grateful to me.

By the goal of education I understand the program of the human personality, the program of the human character, and in the concept of character I put the entire content of the personality, that is, the nature of external manifestations and inner conviction, and political education, and knowledge - decisively the whole picture of the human personality.

But still, if such a task were now before me, I would be afraid to solve it - who knows what right I have to inflict violence? Here is the right to make such a breakdown - the question is not resolved for me. But I am deeply convinced that every teacher will face such a question - does the teacher have the right to intervene in the movement of character and direct him where necessary, or should he passively follow this character? I believe that the issue should be resolved as follows: has the right. But how to do that? In each individual case, this must be decided individually, because it is one thing to have the right, and another thing to be able to do it. These are two different problems. And it is very possible that in the future the training of our personnel will consist in teaching people how to carry out such breaking. After all, they teach a doctor how to perform a trepanation of the skull. In our conditions, perhaps, they will teach the teacher how to perform such a “trepanation”, perhaps more tactfully, more successfully than I did, but how, following the qualities of a person, his inclinations and abilities, to direct this person to side that suits her best.

Features of the modern family

Now your attention to some questions that are of general importance, that apply to all departments, to all the details of education, which must always be remembered.

First of all, we draw your attention to the following: raising a child correctly and normally is much easier than re-educating. Proper upbringing from early childhood is not at all as difficult as many people think. According to its difficulty, this work is within the power of every person, every father and every mother. Every person can easily raise his child well, if only he really wants to, and besides, this is a pleasant, joyful, happy business.

First of all, we draw your attention to the following: raising a child correctly and normally is much easier than re-educating.

Quite another is re-education. If your child was brought up incorrectly, if you missed something, thought little about him, or sometimes you were too lazy, neglected the child, then you already need to redo and correct a lot. And now this work of correction, the work of re-education, is no longer such an easy matter. Re-education requires more strength and more knowledge, more patience, and not every parent has all this. Let us even take such a case when the alteration helped, a person came to life and works. Everyone looks at him, and everyone is happy, including parents. But no one wants to calculate how much they still lost. If this person had been brought up correctly from the very beginning, he would have taken more from life, he would have gone out into life even stronger, more prepared, and therefore happier. And besides, the work of re-education, alteration is not only more difficult work, but also sorrowful. Such work, even with complete success, causes constant grief to parents, wears out the nerves, often spoils the parental character.

A lot of mistakes in family work come from the fact that parents seem to forget what time they live in. It happens that parents at work, in general in life, in society act as good people, but at home, among children, they live in the old fashioned way.

Parents should think about how the new family differs from the old one. In the old days, the father had more power, the children lived in his full will, and there was nowhere for them to go from their father's will. Many fathers abused such power, treated their children cruelly, like petty tyrants. Now everything is different. For example, a girl will not wait until her parents find a groom... The family should guide the feelings of their children. Obviously, we can no longer use the old methods in this matter, but must find new ones.

Children are now given a very wide range of choices. In this choice, only the abilities and training of the child play a decisive role. Our children, therefore, enjoy a completely incomparable space. Fathers know it, and children know it too. Under such conditions, no paternal discretion becomes simply impossible. Much more subtle, careful, and skillful guidance must now be recommended to parents.

The family has long ceased to be a paternal family. A woman enjoys the same rights as a man, a mother has rights equal to those of a father. Our family is not subject to paternal autocracy, but is a collective. In this collective, parents have certain rights. Where do these rights come from?

In the old days, it was believed that paternal authority was of heavenly origin: as God pleases, there was a special commandment about honoring parents. Parents are responsible for their family and therefore have some power and authority. Although each family constitutes a collective of equal members of society, nevertheless, parents and children differ in that the former lead the family, while the latter are brought up in the family.

Every parent should have a very clear idea of ​​all this. Everyone must understand that in the family he is not a complete, uncontrolled master, but only a senior, responsible member of the team. If this idea is well understood, then all educational work will proceed correctly.

Family structure

We know that educational work is not equally successful for everyone. It depends on many reasons, and above all on the application of the correct methods of education. But a very important reason is the very structure of the family, its structure. To a certain extent, this structure is in our power.

Only in a family with several children can parental care be of a normal nature.

It can, for example, be emphatically asserted that the upbringing of an only son or an only daughter is much more difficult than the upbringing of several children. Even if the family is experiencing some financial difficulties, one should not be limited to one child. The only child very soon becomes the center of the family. The cares of the father and mother, concentrated on this child, usually exceed the useful norm. Parental love in this case is distinguished by a certain nervousness. The illness of this child or his death is taken very hard by such a family, and the fear of such a misfortune always stands before the parents and deprives them of the necessary peace of mind. Very often, the only child gets used to his exceptional position and becomes a real despot in the family. It is very difficult for parents to slow down their love for him and their worries, and willy-nilly they bring up an egoist.

There are other cases of incomplete families. It is very painfully reflected in the upbringing of the child if the parents do not live together, if they have separated. Often children become the subject of strife between parents who openly hate each other and do not hide this from children.

It is necessary to recommend to those parents who for some reason leave each other that in their quarrel, in their divergence, they think more about their children. Any kind of disagreement can be resolved more delicately, you can hide from your children both your dislike and your hatred for your ex-spouse. It is difficult, of course, for a husband who has left his family to somehow continue raising children. And if he cannot have a beneficial effect on his old family, then it is better to try so that she completely forgets him, it will be more honest. Although, of course, he must still bear his material obligations in relation to abandoned children.

The question of the structure of the family is a very important one, and it must be treated quite consciously.

If parents truly love their children and want to raise them as best as possible, they will try not to bring their mutual disagreements to a break and thus not put children in the most difficult situation.

The essence of family education

The next question to which the most serious attention should be paid is the question of the purpose of education. In some families, one can observe complete thoughtlessness in this matter: parents and children simply live nearby, and parents hope that everything will work out by itself. Parents have neither a clear goal nor a definite program. Of course, in this case, the results will always be random, and often such parents then wonder why they raised bad children. Nothing can be done well if you do not know what you want to achieve.

Every father and every mother should know well what they want to bring up in their child. One must be clear about one's own parental desires. Do you want to raise a person who is knowledgeable, energetic, honest, dedicated, hardworking, cheerful and polite? Or do you want your child to come out greedy, cowardly, some cunning and petty businessman? Give yourself the trouble, think carefully about this question, think at least in secret, and you will immediately see many mistakes you have made and many right paths ahead.

And at the same time, you must always remember: you have given birth and are raising a son or daughter not only for your parental joy. In your family and under your leadership, a future activist and a future fighter are growing. If you mess up, bring up a bad person, grief from this will be not only for you, but also for many people. Do not dismiss this question, do not consider it annoying reasoning. After all, in your institution you are ashamed to produce defective products instead of good products. It should be even more shameful for you to give bad or harmful people to society.

This question is very important. Once you seriously think about it, and many conversations about education will become superfluous for you, you yourself will see what you need to do. And just a lot of parents do not think about this issue. They love their children; they enjoy their company, they even brag about them, dress them up and completely forget that it is their moral responsibility to grow up as a future citizen.

Before you start educating your children, check your own behavior.

Your own behavior is the most decisive thing. Don't think that you are raising a child only when you talk to him, or teach him, or order him. You bring him up at every moment of your life, even when you are not at home. How you dress, how you talk to and about other people, how you feel happy or sad, how you treat friends and enemies, how you laugh, how you read the newspaper - all this is of great importance to the child. The child sees or feels the slightest changes in tone, all turns of your thought reach him in invisible ways, you do not notice them. And if at home you are rude, or boastful, or drunk, and even worse, if you insult your mother, you no longer need to think about education: you are already raising your children, and raising them badly, and no best advice and methods will help you.

Parental demand for oneself, parental respect for one's family, parental control over one's every step - this is the first and most important method of education!

Meanwhile, one sometimes has to meet such parents who believe that it is necessary to find some kind of cunning recipe for raising children, and the job will be done. In their opinion, if this recipe is put into the hands of the most inveterate couch potato, with the help of the recipe he will bring up an industrious person; if given to a swindler, the recipe will help to bring up an honest citizen; in the hands of a liar, he will also perform a miracle, and the child will grow up to be truthful.

Such miracles do not happen. No recipes will help if there are big flaws in the very personality of the educator.

It is these shortcomings that need to be addressed first. As for magic tricks, you need to remember once and for all that pedagogical tricks simply do not exist. Unfortunately, sometimes you can see such people who believe in tricks. He will come up with a special punishment, the other introduces some kind of bonuses, the third tries with all his might to clow around at home and entertain the children, the fourth bribes with promises.

The upbringing of children requires the most serious tone, the most simple and sincere. These three qualities should contain the ultimate truth of your life. The most insignificant addition of deceit, artificiality, sarcasm, frivolity makes educational work doomed to failure. This does not mean at all that you should always be inflated, pompous - just be sincere, let your mood correspond to the moment and essence of what is happening in your family.

Tricks prevent people from seeing the real tasks before them, tricks primarily amuse the parents themselves, tricks take time.

And many parents are so fond of complaining about the lack of time!

Of course, it is better if parents are with their children more often, it is very bad if parents never see them. But still it must be said that proper education does not at all require that parents keep their eyes on their children. Such an upbringing can only bring harm. It develops passivity and their spiritual growth goes too fast. Parents like to brag about it, but then they are convinced that they made a mistake.

You must know well what he is doing, where he is, who your child is surrounded by, but you must give him the necessary freedom so that he is not only under your personal influence, but under the many diverse influences of life. Do not think at the same time that you should cowardly fence him off from negative or even hostile influences. Indeed, in life, he will still have to face various temptations, with alien and harmful people and circumstances. You must develop in him the ability to understand them, to deal with them, to recognize them in a timely manner. In greenhouse education, in isolated incubation, this cannot be worked out. Therefore, quite naturally, you should allow the most varied environment of your children, but never lose sight of them.

Children need to be helped in time, to stop them in time, to direct them. Thus, all that is required of you is constant adjustment in the life of the child, but not at all what is called driving by the hand. In due time we will touch on this issue in more detail, but now we dwell on it only because the conversation turned to time. Education does not require a great deal of time, but the judicious use of a little time. And we repeat once again: education always happens, even when you are not at home.

The true essence of educational work, probably you yourself have already guessed this, is not at all in your conversations with the child, not in the direct impact on the child, but in the organization of your family, your personal and social life and in the organization of the child's life. Educational work is primarily the work of an organizer. In this case, therefore, there are no trifles. You have no right to call anything a trifle and forget about it. It would be a terrible mistake to think that in your life or in the life of your child you will do something big and give this big one all your attention, and throw everything else aside. There are no trifles in educational work. Some kind of bow that you tie in a girl's hair, this or that hat, some kind of toy - all these are things that can be of the greatest importance in a child's life. A good organization lies in the fact that it does not lose sight of the smallest details and cases. Little things act regularly, daily, hourly, and life is made up of them. Leading this life, organizing it will be your most responsible task.

Let's sum up some results.

1. We must strive for proper upbringing, so that later we don’t have to deal with the re-education of a “difficult child”, which is much more difficult.

2. We must remember that you are in charge of the family. If possible, it is necessary to achieve the correct structure of this family.

3. It is necessary to have a precise goal and a program of educational work in front of you.

4. You must make the most stringent demands on your own behavior.

5. No need to rely on any recipes and tricks. You need to be serious, simple and sincere.

6. No need to count on a big waste of time, you need to be able to lead the child, and not protect him from life.

7. The main thing in educational work is the organization of family life with close attention to detail.

The upbringing of children begins from the age when no logical proofs and the presentation of public rights are possible at all, and meanwhile, without authority, an educator is impossible. The very meaning of authority lies in the fact that it does not require any proof, that it is accepted as the undoubted dignity of the elder, as his strength and value, visible, so to speak, to a simple child's eye.

The father and mother in the eyes of the child should have this authority. One often hears the question: “What to do with a child if he does not obey?” This very “does not obey” is a sign that the parents in his eyes do not have authority.

Where does parental authority come from, how is it organized? Those parents whose children "do not obey" sometimes tend to think that authority is given by nature, that this is a special talent. If there is no talent, then nothing can be done, it remains only to envy the one who has such talent. These parents are wrong. Authority can be organized in every family, and this is not even a very difficult matter.

Unfortunately, there are parents who organize such authority on false grounds. They strive to ensure that children obey them, this is their goal. Actually, this is a mistake. Authority and obedience cannot be the goal. There can be only one goal: proper education. This one goal alone should be pursued. Childish obedience can only be one of the ways to this end. It is precisely those parents who do not think about the real goals of education who achieve obedience for the sake of obedience itself. If children are obedient, parents live more calmly. This very calmness is their real goal. In fact, it always turns out that neither calmness nor obedience lasts long. Authority built on false foundations helps only for a very short time, soon everything collapses, there is neither authority nor obedience left. It also happens that parents achieve obedience, but all the other goals of upbringing are in the pen: grow up, however, obedient, but weak children.

The authority of suppression. This is the most terrible kind of authority, although not the most harmful. Fathers suffer the most from this authority. If the father at home always growls, always gets angry, breaks out with thunder for every trifle, grabs a stick or a belt at every opportunity and inconvenience, answers every question with rudeness, marks every fault of the child with punishment, then this is the authority of suppression. Such paternal terror keeps the whole family in fear: not only children, but also the mother. He is harmful not only because he intimidates the children, but also because he makes the mother a null being who can only be a servant. No need to prove how harmful such authority is. He does not bring up anything, he only teaches children to stay away from the terrible father, he causes children's lies and human cowardice, and at the same time he brings up cruelty in the child. Downtrodden and weak-willed children then turn out either slushy, worthless people, or petty tyrants, who throughout their lives avenge their suppressed childhood. This wildest sort of authority exists only among uncultured parents and, fortunately, has recently died out.

distance authority. There are such fathers, and even mothers, who are seriously convinced that in order for children to obey, you need to talk less with them, stay away, occasionally only act as bosses. This view was especially loved in some intellectual families. Here, very often, the father has some kind of separate study, from which he occasionally appears as a high priest. He dines separately, entertains separately, he even passes his orders on the family entrusted to him through his mother. There are also such mothers: they have their own life, their own interests, their own thoughts. Children are run by a grandmother or even a housekeeper.

The authority of swagger. This is a special kind of distance authority, but perhaps more harmful. Each person has their merit. But some people believe that they are the most deserved, the most important figures, and show this importance at every step, show their children. At home they are even more puffed up and puffed up than at work, they only do what they talk about their merits, they are arrogant about other people. It happens very often that, struck by this kind of father, the children begin to boast. Before their comrades, they also speak only with a boastful word, repeating at every step: my dad is a boss, my dad is a writer, my dad is a commander, my dad is a celebrity. In this atmosphere of arrogance, an important dad can no longer make out where his children are going and whom he is raising. There is such authority among mothers: some special dress, an important acquaintance, a trip to a resort - all this gives them grounds for swagger, for separation from other people and from their own children.

The authority of pedantry. In this case, parents pay more attention to children, work more, but work like bureaucrats. They are sure that children should listen to every parental word with trepidation, that their word is sacred. They give their orders in a cold tone, and once it is given, it immediately becomes law. Such parents are most afraid that the children might think that dad was mistaken, that dad is an unstable person. If such a dad said: “Tomorrow it will rain, you can’t walk,” then even if the weather was good tomorrow, it’s still considered that you can’t walk. Dad did not like any movie, he generally forbade children to go to the cinema, including good pictures. Dad punished the child, then it turned out that the child was not as guilty as it seemed at first, dad would never cancel his punishment: since I said it, it should be so. There is enough work for such a dad every day, in every movement of the child he sees a violation of order and legality and sticks to him with new laws and orders. The life of the child, his interests, his growth pass by such a father imperceptibly; he sees nothing but his own bureaucratic leadership in the family.

The authority of reasoning. In this case, parents literally seize the children's life with endless teachings and edifying conversations. Instead of saying a few words to the child, perhaps even in a jocular tone, the parent sits him against himself and begins a boring and annoying speech. Such parents are sure that the main pedagogical wisdom lies in the teachings. In such a family, there is always little joy and smiles. Parents try their best to be virtuous, they want to be infallible in the eyes of their children. But they forget that children are not adults, that children have their own lives and that this life must be respected. A child lives more emotionally, more passionately than an adult, he least of all knows how to engage in reasoning. The habit of thinking should come to him gradually and rather slowly, and the constant ranting of the parents, their constant blasphemy and talkativeness pass almost without a trace in their minds. In the reasoning of parents, children cannot see any authority.

The authority of love. This is the most common type of false authority we have. Many parents are convinced that in order for children to obey, they need to love their parents, and in order to deserve this love, it is necessary to show their parental love to children at every step. Tender words, endless kisses, caresses, confessions are showered on children in an absolutely excessive amount. If the child does not obey, they immediately ask him: “So you don’t love dad?” Parents jealously watch the expression of children's eyes and demand tenderness and love. Often a mother with children tells her friends: “He loves dad terribly and loves me terribly, he is such a tender child ...”.

Such a family is so immersed in a sea of ​​sentimentality and tender feelings that they no longer notice anything else. Many important trifles of family education pass by the attention of parents. A child should do everything out of love for his parents.

There are many dangerous places in this line. This is where family selfishness grows. Children, of course, do not have enough strength for such love. Very soon they notice that dad and mom can be deceived in any way, they just need to do it with a gentle expression. You can even intimidate mom and dad, you just have to pout and show that love is starting to pass. From a very young age, the child begins to understand that people can play along. And since he cannot love other people just as strongly, he plays along with them without any love, with cold and cynical calculation. Sometimes it happens that love for parents lasts for a long time, but all other people are considered as outsiders and aliens, there is no sympathy for them, there is no feeling of camaraderie.

The authority of kindness. This is the most stupid kind of authority. In this case, children's obedience is also organized through children's love, but it is not caused by kisses and outpourings, but by the compliance, gentleness, and kindness of the parents. Dad or mom speaks to the child in the form of a kind angel. They allow everything, they do not regret anything, they are not stingy, they are wonderful parents. They are afraid of any conflicts, they prefer family peace, they are ready to sacrifice anything, if only everything was safe. Very soon, in such a family, children simply begin to command their parents, parental non-resistance opens up the widest scope for children's desires, whims, and demands. Sometimes parents allow themselves a little resistance, but it's too late, a harmful experience has already formed in the family.

Friendship authority. Quite often, the children have not yet been born, and there is already an agreement between the parents: our children will be our friends. In general, this is, of course, good. Father and son, mother and daughter can be friends and should be friends, but still the parents remain senior members of the family team and the children still remain pupils. If friendship reaches extreme limits, education stops or the opposite process begins: children begin to educate their parents. In these families, children call their parents Petka or Maruska, make fun of them, rudely cut them off, teach at every step, there can be no question of any obedience. But there is no friendship here either, since no friendship is possible without mutual respect.

The authority of bribery - the most immoral kind of authority, when obedience is simply bought with gifts and promises. Parents, not embarrassed, say so: if you obey, I will buy you a horse, if you obey, we will go to the circus.

Of course, in the family, some encouragement is also possible, something similar to a bonus; but in no case should children be rewarded for obedience, for a good attitude towards their parents. You can be rewarded for a good study, for doing some really hard work. But even in this case, you should never announce the rate in advance and spur the children on their school or other work with seductive promises.

We have looked at several types of false authority. In addition to them, there are many more varieties. There is the authority of gaiety, the authority of learning, the authority of the "boy-shirt", the authority of beauty. But it often happens that parents do not think about any authority at all, live somehow, haphazardly, and somehow pull the bagpipes of raising children. Today the parent thundered and punished the boy for a trifle, tomorrow he confesses his love to him, the day after tomorrow he promises him something by way of bribery, and the next day he punished him again, and even reproached him for all his good deeds. Such parents are always rushing about like mad cats, in complete impotence, in complete incomprehension of what they are doing. It also happens that the father adheres to one type of authority, and the mother to another. Children in this case have to be first of all diplomats and learn how to maneuver between mom and dad. Finally, it also happens that parents simply do not pay attention to their children and think only of their own peace of mind.

What should be the true parental authority in the family?

The main basis of parental authority can only be the life and work of parents, their behavior. The family is a big and responsible business, parents manage this business and are responsible for it to society, to their own happiness and to the lives of their children. If parents do this honestly, reasonably, if significant and excellent goals are set for them, if they themselves always fully account for their actions and deeds, this means that they also have parental authority, and there is no need to look for any other grounds. , and even more so, you do not need to invent anything artificial.

The family is a big and responsible business, parents manage this business and are responsible for it to society, to their own happiness and to the lives of their children.

As soon as children begin to grow up, they are always interested in where their father or mother works, what their social position is. As soon as possible, they should find out what they live with, what they are interested in, who their parents are next to. The case of the father or mother should appear before the child as a serious matter worthy of respect. The merits of parents in the eyes of children should be, first of all, a real value, and not just appearance.

At the same time, one must always remember that every human activity has its own tensions and its own dignity. In no case should parents be presented to their children as champions in their field, as incomparable geniuses. Children should see the merits of other people, and necessarily the merits of the closest comrades of the father and mother. The civic authority of parents will only then reach a real height if it is not the authority of an upstart or a braggart, but the authority of a member of the collective. If you manage to raise your son in such a way that he will be proud of the whole factory where his father works, if he will be pleased with the success of this factory, then you brought him up correctly.

But parents should act not only as leaders of a limited front. The events of international life, the achievements of literature - everything should be reflected in the thoughts of the father, in his feelings, in his aspirations. Only such parents, who live life to the fullest, will have real authority over their children. At the same time, please do not think that you must live such a life “on purpose”, so that children can see, in order to impress them with your qualities. This is a flawed setting. You should sincerely, actually live such a life, you should not try to show it especially in front of the children. Be calm, they themselves will see everything that is needed.

You must do your parenting work to the best of your ability, and this is the root of your authority. And first of all, you should know how he lives, is interested in what he loves, what he does not like, what your child wants and does not want. You should know with whom he is friends, with whom he plays and what he plays, what he reads, how he perceives what he read. When he is in school, you should know how he relates to school and teachers, what difficulties he has, how he behaves in class. This is all you should always know, from the earliest years of your child. You should not suddenly learn about various troubles and conflicts, you should anticipate and prevent them.

All this you need to know, but this does not mean at all that you can pursue your son with constant and annoying questions, cheap and annoying espionage. From the very beginning, you must organize the matter in such a way that the children themselves tell you about their affairs, so that they want to tell you, so that they are interested in your knowledge. Sometimes you have to invite your son's friends over, even treat them to something, sometimes you yourself have to visit the family where these friends are, you must get to know this family as soon as possible.

All this does not require much time, it only requires attention to the children and their lives.

And if you have such knowledge and such attention, it will not go unnoticed by your children. Children love such knowledge and respect their parents for it.

The authority of knowledge will necessarily lead to aid authority . In the life of every child there are many cases when he does not know what to do, when he needs advice and help. Maybe he will not ask you for help, because he does not know how to do it, you yourself must come with help.

Often this help can be given in direct advice, sometimes in jest, sometimes at disposal, sometimes even in orders. If you know your child's life, you will see for yourself how best to proceed. It often happens that this help needs to be provided in a special way. Sometimes you need to either take part in a children's game, or meet the children's friends, or visit the school and talk to the teacher. If there are several children in your family, and this is the happiest case, older brothers and sisters can be involved in the cause of such assistance.

Parental help should not be intrusive, annoying, tiring. In some cases, it is absolutely necessary to let the child get out of the difficulty on his own, it is necessary that he get used to overcoming obstacles and resolving more complex issues. But you must always see how the child performs this operation, you must not allow him to get confused and despair. Sometimes it is even necessary for the child to see your alertness, attention and trust in his strengths.

The authority of help, careful and attentive guidance will be happily supplemented authority of knowledge . The child will feel your presence next to him, your reasonable care for him, your insurance, but at the same time he will know that you demand something from him, that you are not going to do everything for him, to relieve him of responsibility .

That's it line of responsibility is the next important line of parental authority. In no case should the child think that your leadership of the family and himself is your pleasure or entertainment. He must know that you are responsible not only for yourself, but also for him. There is no need to be afraid to openly and firmly tell your son or daughter that they are being brought up, that they still have a lot to learn, that they must grow up to be good people, that parents are responsible for achieving this goal, that they are not afraid of this responsibility. In this line of responsibility lie the beginnings not only of assistance, but also of demands. In some cases, this requirement must be expressed in the most severe form, not allowing objections. Incidentally, it must be said that such a demand can only be made useful if responsibility authority already created in the child's view. Even at a very young age, he must feel that his parents do not live with him on a desert island.

Game as a way of education and training

The game is important in the life of a child, it has the same meaning as an adult has an activity, work, service. What a child is in play, such is in many respects he will be in work when he grows up. Therefore, the upbringing of the future figure takes place primarily in the game. And the whole history of the individual as a doer and worker can be represented in the development of play and in its gradual transition into work.

This transition is very slow. At the youngest age, the child mainly plays, his working functions are very insignificant and do not go beyond the simplest self-service: he begins to eat on his own, cover himself with a blanket, put on his pants. But even in this work, he still brings a lot of play. In a well-organized family, these work functions are gradually becoming more complex, the child is entrusted with more and more complex work, first exclusively for self-service, then such work that matters to the whole family. But the game at this time is the main occupation of the child, it is most fascinated and interested.

At school age, work already occupies a very important place, it is associated with more serious responsibility, it is also associated with more definite and clear ideas about the future life of the child, this is work of the kind that is close to social activity. But even at this time, the child still plays a lot, loves the game, he even has to go through rather complex collisions, when the game seems so much prettier than work that he wants to put off work and play. If such collisions occur, it means that the upbringing of the child in the game and in the work functions was wrong, that the parents allowed some excesses. From this we can already see how important the guidance of a child's play is. In life, we meet many adults who have long graduated from school, in whom the love of the game prevails over the love of work. All people who are too actively chasing after pleasures, who forget about work for the sake of a good, cheerful company, should be included here. This class of people should also include those who pose, put on airs, play tricks, lie without any purpose. They brought play attitudes from childhood into serious life; these attitudes were not correctly transformed into working attitudes in them - this means that they were poorly educated, and this bad education took place mainly in an incorrectly organized game.

All of the above does not mean at all that it is necessary to distract the child from the game as early as possible and transfer it to work effort and work care. Such a translation will not be useful, it will be violence against the child, it will arouse in him an aversion to work and increase the desire for play. The upbringing of the future actor should not consist in the elimination of the game, but in such an organization of it, when playing remains a game, but in the game the qualities of the future worker and citizen are brought up.

In order to guide the child's play and educate him in the game, parents should think carefully about the question of what play is and how it differs from work. If parents do not think about this issue, do not understand it properly, they will not be able to guide the child and will be lost in each individual case, they will spoil the child rather than educate.

First of all, it must be said that there is not such a big difference between play and work as many people think. A good game is like a good job, a bad game is like a bad job. This similarity is very great, it can be said directly: a bad job is more like a bad game than a good job.

In every good game there is, first of all, labor effort and thought effort. If you buy a clockwork mouse for a child, wind it up and let it go all day, and the child looks at this mouse all day and rejoices, there will be nothing good in this game. The child in this game remains passive, his whole participation is that he stares. If your child engages only in such games, a passive person will grow out of him, accustomed to staring at someone else's work, deprived of initiative and not accustomed to creating new things in work, not accustomed to overcoming difficulties. Playing without effort, without activity, is always a bad game. As you can see, at this point the game is very similar to work.

The game brings joy to the child. It will be either the joy of creativity, or the joy of victory, or aesthetic joy - the joy of quality. Good work brings the same joy. And there is a complete resemblance.

Some people think that work is different from play in that there is responsibility in work and there is none in play. This is wrong: there is as much responsibility in play as there is in work - of course, in a good, correct game, we will talk about this in more detail below.

What is the difference between play and work? This difference lies in only one thing: work is the participation of a person in social production or in the management of this production, in the creation of material, cultural, in other words, social values. The game does not pursue such goals, it has no direct relation to social goals, but has an indirect relation to them: it accustoms a person to those physical and mental efforts that are necessary for work.

It is now clear what we must demand from parents in the matter of guiding children's play. The first is to ensure that play is not made the only aspiration of the child. The second is to the game brought up those mental and physical skills that are necessary for work and life.

The first goal is achieved, as already mentioned, by the gradual involvement of the child in the field of work, which slowly but steadily replaces the game. The second goal is achieved by the correct management of the game itself: the choice of the game, helping the child in the game.

In this conversation we will only talk about the second goal, while the question of labor education will be the subject of a separate conversation.

It is very often necessary to observe the wrong actions of parents in the management of the game. This error is of three types. Some parents are simply not interested in their children's play and think that the children themselves know how to play better. With such parents, children play as they want and when they want, they choose toys for themselves and organize the game themselves. Other parents pay a lot of attention to the game, even too much, all the time interfere in the game of children, show, tell, give game tasks, often solve them before the child decides, and rejoice. With such parents, the child has no choice but to obey the parents and imitate them: here, in essence, the parents play more than the child. If a child builds something with such parents and finds it difficult to build, the father or mother sits down next to him and says: “You are not doing it that way, see how it should be done.” If a child cuts something out of paper, the father or mother looks at his efforts for a while, and then takes the scissors away from him and says: “Let me cut it out for you. See how well it turned out?" The child looks embarrassed and sees that his father did really better. He hands his father a second sheet of paper and asks him to cut something else, and the father willingly does this, pleased with his success. With such parents, children repeat only what their parents do, they are not used to overcoming difficulties, achieving quality improvement on their own, and very early get used to the idea that only adults can do everything well. These children develop self-doubt, fear of failure.

Other parents believe that the most important thing is the number of toys. They spend a lot of money on toys, throw all sorts of toys at their children, and are proud of it. The children's corner of such parents is like a toy store. Such parents are just very fond of mechanical cunning toys and fill their lives with toy collectors, and in the worst case - the most frequent - they move from toy to toy without any interest, play without enthusiasm, spoil and break toys and demand new ones.

Proper play management requires parents to be more thoughtful and more careful about children's play.

Children's play goes through several stages of development, and each stage requires a special method of guidance. The first stage is room play time, toy time. It begins to move into the second stage at the age of 5-6 years. The first stage is characterized by the fact that the child prefers to play alone, rarely allowing the participation of one or two more children. During these years, the child loves to play with his own toys and is reluctant to play with other people's toys. At this stage, the personal abilities of the child develop. There is no need to be afraid that, playing alone, the child will grow up to be an egoist, you need to give him the opportunity to play alone, but you need to make sure that this first stage does not drag on, so that it passes into the second stage in time. In the first stage, the child is not able to play in a group, he often quarrels with his playmates, he does not know how to find a collective interest with them. It is necessary to give him freedom in this individual game, there is no need to impose companions on him, because such imposition only leads to the destruction of the game mood, to the habits of being nervous and scandalous. It can be directly stated: the better the child plays alone at a younger age, the better comrade he will be in the future. At this age, the child is very aggressive, in a sense, he is the "owner". The best method is not to let the child practice this aggressiveness and the development of "possessive" urges. If a child plays alone, he develops his abilities: imagination, constructive skills, material organization skills. This is useful. If, against his will, you put him to play in a group, then by this you will not save him from aggressiveness, selfishness.

For some children earlier, for others later, this preference for solitary play begins to develop into an interest in comrades, in group play. It is necessary to help the child with the greatest benefit to make this rather difficult transition. The expansion of the circle of comrades must take place in the most favorable conditions. Usually this transition occurs in the form of an increase in the child's interest in outdoor games in the fresh air, in games in the yard. We consider the most advantageous situation when in a group of children in the yard there is one older one who enjoys general authority and acts as an organizer of the younger ones.

The second stage of children's play is more difficult to manage, since in this stage children no longer play in front of their parents, but enter the wider public arena. The second stage lasts until 11-12 years old, capturing part of the school time.

The school brings a wider group of friends, a wider range of interests, and a more difficult arena, in particular for play activities, but it also brings a ready-made, clearer organization, a definite and more precise regimen, and, most importantly, the help of qualified teachers. In the second stage, the child already acts as a member of society, but the society is still childish, not possessing either strict discipline or social control. The school brings both. School is the form of transition to the third stage of the game.

At this third stage, the child already acts as a member of a team, and not only a play team, but also a business, educational team. Therefore, the game at this age takes more strict collective forms and gradually becomes a sports game, that is, associated with certain physical education goals, rules, and most importantly, with the concepts of collective interest and collective discipline.

At all three stages of the development of the game, the influence of parents is of great importance. Of course, in the first place in terms of the significance of this influence, it is necessary to put the first stage, when the child is not yet a member of another team other than the family, when, apart from the parents, there are often no other leaders. But at other stages, the influence of parents can be very great and useful.

In the first stage, the material center of the game is the toy. Toys are of the following types:

- the toy is ready, mechanical or simple. These are different cars, steamboats, horses, dolls, mice, vanka-vstanki, etc.;

- a semi-finished toy that requires some finishing work from the child: different pictures with questions, cut pictures, cubes, construction boxes, various models;

- toy material: clay, sand, pieces of cardboard, mica, wood, paper, plants, wire, nails.

Each of these types has its own advantages and disadvantages. The finished toy is good because it introduces the child to complex ideas and things, it brings the child to the issues of technology and complex human economy. Therefore, such a toy evokes a wider activity of the imagination. The locomotive in the boy's hands sets him up in a certain mode of transport, the horse evokes an idea of ​​the animal's life, care for feeding and using it. Parents should make sure that these good sides of such a toy are really noticeable to the child, so that he is not carried away only by one side of the toy, its mechanicalness and ease of play. And it is especially important to ensure that the child is not proud that dad or mom bought such a tricky toy for him, and not just one, but many, and other children do not have such good toys. In general, these mechanical toys are useful only when the child really plays with them, and not only saves them in order to show off to neighbors, and plays at the same time not just by observing the movement of the toy, but by organizing this movement in some complex enterprise. Cars have to carry something, a roly-poly has to move somewhere or do something, dolls have to sleep and stay awake, dress and undress, go to visit and do some useful work in the toy kingdom. There is a lot of scope for a child's fantasy in these toys, and the wider and more seriously this fantasy unfolds with such toys, the better. If the bear is simply thrown from place to place, if it is only disturbed and gutted, this is very bad. But if the bear lives in a certain place, specially equipped for his life, if he scares someone or makes friends with someone, this is already good.

The second type of toy is good because here some kind of task is set before the child - usually one that needs to be solved with a certain effort, which the child himself could never set. In resolving these problems, a noticeable discipline of thinking is already required, logic is required, the concept of the lawful correlation of parts, and not simple free fantasy. And the disadvantage of these toys is that these tasks are always the same, monotonous and annoying with their repetitions.

Toys of the third type - various materials - represent the cheapest and most rewarding play element. These toys are closest to normal human activity: from materials, a person creates values ​​and culture. If a child knows how to play with such toys, this means that he already has a high culture of play and a high culture of activity is emerging. There is a lot of good realism in the toy-material, but at the same time there is room for fantasy, not just imagination, but a great creative working fantasy. If there are pieces of glass or mica, windows can be made from them, and for this you need to come up with frames, hence the question of building a house is raised. If there is clay and plant stalks, the question of a garden arises.

What type of toy is the best? We believe that the best way is to combine all three types, but never in excess. If a boy or girl has one or two mechanical toys, there is no need to buy more. Add to this some kind of collapsible toy and add more materials of all kinds, and now the toy kingdom is organized. It does not need to have everything in it, so that the child's eyes run wide, so that he gets lost in the abundance of toys. Give him a little, but try to organize a game out of this little. And then watch him, listen imperceptibly to his game, try to make him feel any specific shortcoming on his own and want to fill it up. If you have bought a child a small horse and he is carried away by the task of transportation, it is natural that he will lack a cart or carriage. Do not rush to buy him this cart. Try to have him make it himself out of some boxes, spools or cardboard. If he makes such a supply, fine - the goal is achieved. But if he needs a lot of carts and there aren’t enough home-made ones, he doesn’t need to make a second cart, you can buy a second one.

The most important thing in this children's game is to ensure that the child:

- really played, composed, built, combined.

- did not rush from one task to another, without finishing the first one, in order to bring his activity to the end.

- in each toy I saw a certain value necessary for the future, kept it, shore. In the toy kingdom, there should always be complete order, cleaning should be done. Toys should not break, and in case of breakdowns, repairs should be made; if it is difficult, then with the help of parents.

Parents should pay special attention to the child's attitude to the toy. A child should not break a toy, should love it, but should not suffer endlessly if it is spoiled or broken. This goal will be achieved if the child is really accustomed to considering himself a good master, if he is not afraid of individual damages and feels able to correct the misfortune. The task of the father and mother is always to help the child in such cases, to support him in despair, to prove to him that human resourcefulness and work can always improve the situation. Based on this, we recommend that parents always take measures to repair a broken toy, never throw it away ahead of time. In the course of the game itself, parents should, if possible, give the child complete freedom of action, but only until the moment when the game goes right. If the child finds it difficult in any position, if the game went too simply, uninteresting, you need to help the child: prompt, put some interesting question, add some new, interesting material, sometimes even play with it.

These are the general forms of the method in the first stage of the game.

At the second stage, attention is required from parents first of all. Your child went out into the yard, got into a group of boys. You must carefully study what kind of boys they are. Your girl reaches out to her friends in the yard, you must know these girls well. You must know what the children around your child are into, what they lack, what is bad in their games. It happens very often that the attention and initiative of one father or one mother help to change for the better the life of a whole group of children in one place or another. Have you noticed that children in winter go down, as if from a hill, from an icy garbage heap. Arrange with other parents, and if you don’t agree, then help the children alone to fill the slide. Make a simple wooden sled for your boy and you will see other boys get something similar. At this stage of the game, communication between parents will be extremely important and useful, which, unfortunately, is very insignificant among parents. It happens that each parent is dissatisfied with the life of children in the yard, but will not talk with the other parent, they will not come up with something together to improve this life, but meanwhile this is not at all such a difficult task and everyone can do it. At this stage, the children are already organized into some semblance of a collective; it will be very useful if their parents also guide them in an organized manner.

It often happens at this stage that children quarrel, fight, complain about each other. Parents do wrong if they immediately take the side of their son or daughter and themselves get involved in a quarrel with the father or mother of the offender. If your child came in tears, if he is offended, if he suffers and is already embittered, do not rush to get annoyed and attack the offender and his parents. First of all, ask your son or your girl calmly, try to imagine an accurate picture of the event. It rarely happens that any one party is to blame. Probably, your child got excited about something; explain to him that in the game it is not always necessary to be uncompromising, that it is necessary, if possible, to look for peaceful ways out of conflicts. Try at all costs to reconcile your child with the enemy, invite this enemy to visit and talk to him, get to know his father, find out the situation to the end. In this matter, the most important thing is that you should not see only your child in front of you, but you should see the whole group of children in front of you and bring it up together with other parents. Only in this case you will bring the greatest benefit to your child. He will notice that you are not fond of family patriotism, that you are doing community work, and will see this as an example for his behavior. There is nothing more harmful than the hot aggressiveness of a father or mother towards a family of neighbors; it is precisely this kind of aggressiveness that instills a vicious character in a child, suspicion, wild and blind family egoism.

In the third stage, the leadership of the game is no longer in the hands of the parents, it is transferred to the school or sports organization, but the parents still have great opportunities for the correct influence on the character of the child. Firstly, you need to carefully monitor that the passion for sports does not take on the character of an all-consuming passion, you need to point the child to other aspects of the activity. Secondly, the boy or girl must be proud not only of his own personal success, but mainly pride of the success of the team or organization. It is also necessary to moderate any boastfulness, cultivate respect for the strength of the enemy, pay attention to organization, training, discipline in the team. Finally, you need to achieve a calm attitude to successes and failures. And at this stage, it will be very good if the parents get to know the teammates of the son or daughter better.

And at all three stages, parents must vigilantly watch so that the game does not absorb the entire spiritual life of the child, so that labor skills develop in parallel.

In play, in all three stages, you must cultivate a desire for more valuable satisfactions than simple staring, simple pleasure, cultivate courageous overcoming of difficulties, cultivate imagination and scope of thought. And in the second and third stages, you should always keep in mind that here your child has already entered society, that he is already required to be able not only to play, but also to treat people correctly.

Let's summarize the above.

1. The game is important in human life, it is a preparation for real life. Many parents do not pay enough attention to the management of the game and either leave the child to himself or surround his play with unnecessary care and toys.

2. Parents should apply different methods at different stages of the game, but should always give the child the opportunity for independent activity and the correct development of his abilities, without at the same time refusing to help him in difficult cases.

3. At the second and third stages, it is necessary to manage not so much the game as the child's attitude towards other people.

Discipline and regime in the family

The word "discipline" has several meanings. Some understand discipline as a collection of rules of conduct. Others call discipline the already established, cultivated habits of a person, others see only obedience in discipline. All these individual opinions are more or less close to the truth, but for the correct work of the educator, it is necessary to have a more accurate understanding of the very concept of "discipline".

Sometimes a disciplined person is called a person who is distinguished by obedience. Of course, the vast majority of each person is required to accurately and quickly fulfill the orders and orders of higher authorities and persons, and yet in modern society, so-called obedience is a completely insufficient sign of a disciplined person - simple obedience cannot satisfy us, much less blind obedience cannot satisfy us. obedience.

We require much more complex discipline. We demand that a person not only understand why and for what it is necessary to carry out this or that order, but that he himself actively strives to carry it out as best as possible. Not enough of this. We demand from a person that he has the initiative and creative will. At the same time, we hope that he will do only what is really useful and necessary, that in this matter he will not stop at any difficulties and obstacles. In addition, we always demand from a person that he never confine himself to the narrow circle of his business, plot, his family, but be able to see the affairs of the people around him, their life, their behavior; he knew how to come to their aid not only in word, but also in deed, even if for this it was necessary to sacrifice part of his personal peace.

It goes without saying that such a disciplined person cannot be brought up by discipline alone, i.e., exercises in obedience. A disciplined person can only be brought up by the whole sum of right influences, among which the most prominent place should be occupied by: education, general education, books, media, work, and even such seemingly secondary things as play, entertainment, recreation. Only in the joint action of all these influences can correct education be carried out.

Discipline is created not by any individual "disciplinary" measures, but by the whole system of education, the whole environment of life, all the influences to which children are exposed.

We especially recommend that parents always remember this important proposition: discipline is created not by any individual "disciplinary" measures, but by the entire system of education, the entire environment of life, all the influences to which children are exposed. In this understanding, discipline is not a cause, not a method, not a way of correct education, but the result of it. Right discipline is that good end to which the educator must strive with all his strength and with all the means at his disposal. Therefore, every parent should know that by giving a son or daughter a book to read, introducing him to a new friend, talking with the child about the international situation, about business at work, he, along with other things, achieves the goal of more or less discipline.

Thus, by discipline we mean the broad general result of all educational work.

But there is also a narrower department of educational work, which is closest to the inculcation of discipline and which is often confused with discipline: this is the regime. If discipline is the result of all educational work, then the regime is only a means, only a method of education. The differences between regime and discipline are very important differences, parents should be well versed in them. Discipline, for example, is one of those phenomena from which we always demand perfection. We always want the best, the strictest discipline in our family, in our work. And it cannot be otherwise: discipline is the result, and in every business we are used to fighting for the best results. It is hard to imagine a person who would say: “We have a so-so discipline, but we don’t need a better one ...”.

Such a person is either a fool or a real enemy. Every normal person must strive for the highest discipline, that is, the best result.

The mode is quite another matter. The regime, as we have already said, is only a means, and we generally know that any means in any area of ​​life should be used only when it corresponds to the goal, when it is appropriate. Therefore, one can imagine the best discipline, and we always strive for it, but one cannot imagine any ideal, best regimen. In some cases, one mode will be the most suitable, in other cases, another.

Family mode cannot and should not be the same under different conditions. The age of the children, their abilities, the environment, the neighbors, the size of the apartment, its amenities, the way to school, the liveliness of the streets, and many other circumstances determine and change the character of the regime. One mode should be in a large family with many children, and completely different in such a family with one child. A regimen that is good for young children can be very harmful when applied to older children. In the same way, the mode for girls has its own characteristics, especially at an older age.

Thus, the regime cannot be understood as something constant, unchanging. Some families often make such a mistake, they firmly believe in the healing properties of the regime once adopted, and protect its integrity to the detriment of the interests of children and their own. Such an immobile regime soon becomes a dead device that cannot be useful, but only harms.

The regime cannot be permanent in nature precisely because it is only a means of education. Each upbringing pursues certain goals, and these goals are always changing and becoming more complex. In early childhood, for example, parents face a serious task - to accustom children to cleanliness. In pursuit of this goal, parents establish a special regime for children, i.e., rules for washing, using a bath, shower or bath, cleaning rules, rules for keeping the room, bed, table clean. Such a regime should be regularly maintained, parents should never forget about it, monitor its implementation, help children in cases where they themselves cannot do anything, demand good quality work from children. If all this order is well organized, it is of great benefit, and finally there comes a time when children form habits of cleanliness, when the child himself can no longer sit down at the table with dirty hands. So, we can already say that the goal has been achieved. The mode that was needed to achieve this goal is now becoming redundant. Of course, this does not mean at all that it can be canceled within one day. Gradually, this regime should be replaced by another regime that aims to reinforce the formed habit of cleanliness, and when this habit is established, new goals arise for parents, more complex and more important. To continue and at this time to mess around only with cleanliness will not only be an unnecessary waste of parental energy, but also a harmful waste: it is in this way that soulless clean people are brought up, who have nothing in their souls except the habit of cleanliness, and who are sometimes able to somehow do the job just not to get your hands dirty.

In this example of a regime of purity, we see that the correctness of the regime is a temporary and transient phenomenon; so it is with every other means, and the regime is only a means.

Despite such a variety of possible regimes, it must nevertheless be said that the regime in the family must always be distinguished by certain properties that are indispensable in any situation. Let's find out these common properties.

While recommending to parents to ensure that the family regime has a reasonable and expedient character, we must at the same time warn parents that it is by no means necessary to explain to the children the meaning of this or that rule at every step, we must not bother them with such explanations and interpretations. If possible, you need to try so that the children themselves understand what this is for. Only in extreme cases you need to tell them the right idea. In general, it is necessary to strive to ensure that good habits develop in children as firmly as possible, and for this purpose, the most important thing is the constant exercise in the right action. Constant reasoning and ranting about right behavior can spoil any good experience.

The second important property of each regime is its certainty. If today you need to brush your teeth, then you need to brush them tomorrow; if today you need to clean up your bed, then you need to do it tomorrow. It should not be that today the mother demanded that the bed be made, but tomorrow she did not demand it and cleaned it herself. Such uncertainty deprives the regime of any meaning and turns it into a set of random, unrelated orders. The correct regime should be specific, precise, and not allow exceptions, except in cases where exceptions are really necessary and caused by important circumstances. As a rule, in every family there should be such an order that the slightest violation of the regime was necessarily noted. This must be done from the very young age of the child, and the more strictly the parents will monitor the implementation of the regimen, the fewer violations there will be and the less often they will have to resort to punishments.

We pay special attention of parents to this circumstance. Many mistakenly believe this: the boy did not make his bed in the morning, is it worth raising a scandal because of this? Firstly, he did it for the first time, and secondly, an unmade bed is generally a trifle, you should not spoil the boy's nerves because of it. This kind of reasoning is completely wrong. There are no trifles in the matter of education. An unmade bed denotes not only the emerging slovenliness, but also the emerging disregard for the established regime, the beginning of such an experience, which can then take the form of direct hostility towards parents.

The certainty of the regimen, its accuracy and compulsion are in great danger if the parents themselves treat the regimen insincerely, if they demand that their children comply with it, and at the same time they themselves live disorderly, not obeying any regimen. Of course, it is quite natural that the regime of the parents themselves will differ from the regime of the children, but these differences should not be fundamental. If you demand that children do not read a book at dinner, then you yourself should not do this. When insisting that children wash their hands before dinner, do not forget to demand the same from yourself. Try to make your own bed, it is not at all difficult and not shameful work. In all these trifles there is much more significance than is commonly thought.

The regime in the family itself, at home, must necessarily concern the following particulars: the time of getting up and the time of going to bed must be precisely set - the same both on working days and on rest days; rules for accuracy and cleanliness, terms and rules for changing linen, clothes, rules for wearing them, cleaning them; children should be taught that all things have their place, they should use the restroom, washbasin, bath after work or play; must watch the electric light, turn it on and off when necessary. A special regime must be set at the table. Each child should know his place at the table, come to the table on time, should be able to behave at the table, use a knife and fork, not dirty the tablecloths, not throw pieces on the table, eat everything put on the plate, and therefore not ask for too much.

The distribution of the child's working time should be subject to a strict regime, which is especially important when he begins to go to school. But even earlier, it is desirable to precisely distribute the timing of eating, playing, walking, etc. Great attention must be paid to questions of movement. Some people think that children need to run a lot, scream, and generally show their energy violently. That children have a need for movement to a greater extent than adults is beyond doubt, but one cannot blindly follow this need. It is necessary to instill in children the habit of expedient movement, of the ability to slow it down when necessary. In any case, neither running nor jumping should be allowed in the room; a playground in the yard, a garden is more suitable for this. In the same way, it is necessary to teach children to be able to restrain their voices: screaming, screeching, loud crying - all these phenomena are of the same order; they testify more to the unhealthy nerves of the child than to any real need. Parents themselves are to blame for such nervous loudness of children. Sometimes they themselves raise their voice to a scream, they themselves are nervous, instead of bringing a tone of confident calm into the atmosphere of the family.

This is the general method of organizing the regime in the family. Using these general guidelines, each parent will be able to develop a family life arrangement that best suits the characteristics of his family. The question of the form of regime relations between parents and children is extremely important. In this area, you can find the most diverse exaggerations and bends that bring great harm to education. Some abuse persuasion, others abuse various explanatory conversations, others abuse caresses, fourths abuse orders, fifths encourage encouragement, sixths punish, sevenths accommodating, eighths firmness. In the course of family life, of course, there are many cases when both affection, and conversation, and firmness, and even compliance are appropriate. But where the regime is concerned, all these forms must give way to one main one, and this is the only and best form - the order.

The family is a very important, very responsible business of a person. The family brings the fullness of life, the family brings happiness, and at the same time is a great cause of national importance. Therefore, the family regime must be built, developed and act primarily as a business institution. Business tone parents should not be afraid. They should not think that the business tone is contrary to the loving feeling of the father or mother, that it can lead to dryness in relations, to their coldness. We affirm that only a real, serious business tone can create that calm atmosphere in the family, which is necessary both for the correct upbringing of children and for the development of mutual respect and love between family members.

Parents should learn as early as possible a calm, balanced, friendly, but always resolute tone in their business order, and children from a very young age should get used to this tone, get used to obey the order and carry it out willingly. You can be as affectionate as you like with the child, joke with him, play, but when the need arises, you must be able to dispose briefly, once, dispose with such a look and in such a tone that neither you nor the child have any doubts about the correctness order, in the inevitability of its implementation.

Parents must learn to give such orders very early, when the first child is one and a half to two years old. This matter is quite easy. You just need to make sure that your order meets the following requirements.

1. It should not be given with anger, with a cry, with irritation, but it should not look like begging either.

2. It should be feasible for the child, not require too much effort from him.

3. It must be reasonable, that is, it must not be contrary to common sense.

4. It must not conflict with another directive - yours or the other parent's.

If an order is given, it must be carried out without fail. It is very bad if you ordered, and then you yourself forgot about your order. In the family, as in any other business, constant, vigilant control and verification are necessary. Of course, parents should try to make this control mostly imperceptible to the child; the child should not doubt at all that the order must be carried out. But sometimes, when a child is entrusted with a more complex task, in which the quality of performance is of great importance, open control is also quite appropriate.

What to do if the child did not follow the instructions? First of all, we must try to ensure that this does not happen. But if it so happened that the child did not obey you for the first time, you should repeat the order, but in a more official, colder tone, something like this: “I told you to do this, but you didn’t. Do it immediately, and so that there will be no more such cases.

When giving such a second order and without fail seeking its implementation, you must at the same time take a closer look and think about why in this case there was resistance to your order. You will definitely see that you yourself were to blame for something, you did something wrong, you overlooked something. Try to avoid such mistakes.

The most important thing in this area is to ensure that children do not accumulate experience of disobedience, so that the family regime is not violated. It's too bad if you let that experience happen, if you let the kids look at your orders as if they were optional.

If you do not allow this from the very beginning, you will never have to resort to punishment later.

If the regime develops correctly from the very beginning, if the parents carefully monitor its development, punishments will not be needed. There are never any punishments in a good family, and this is the most correct way of family education.

But there are families where education is already so neglected that it is impossible to do without punishment. In such a case, the parents resort to punishments very ineptly and often spoil the matter more than they correct it.

Punishment is a very difficult thing; it requires great tact and caution from the educator. Therefore, we recommend that parents, if possible, avoid the use of punishment, and try, first of all, to restore the correct regimen. This, of course, will take a lot of time, but you need to be patient and calmly wait for the results.

In the most extreme case, some types of punishments can be tolerated, namely: delaying pleasure or entertainment (if a visit to the cinema or circus has been scheduled, postpone it); delay in pocket money, if they are issued; prohibition of access to friends.

Once again, we draw the attention of parents to the fact that punishments in themselves will not bring any benefit if there is no correct regimen. And if you have the right regime, you can freely do without punishment, you just need more patience. In any case, in family life it is much more important and more useful to establish the right experience than to correct the wrong one.

In the same way, you need to be careful and with encouragement. It is never necessary to announce any prizes or awards ahead of time. It is best to limit yourself to simple praise and approval. Children's joy, pleasure, entertainment should not be given to children as a reward for good deeds, but in the natural order of satisfying right needs. That which is necessary for the child must be given to him under all conditions, regardless of his merits, and that which is not necessary or harmful for him should not be given to him in the form of a reward.

Let's summarize the above.

Discipline must be distinguished from regime. Discipline is the result of education, regime is a means of education. Therefore, the regime may have a different character depending on the circumstances. Each mode should be distinguished by expediency, certainty, and accuracy. It should concern both the inner life of the family and the outer. The expression of the regime in the business environment of the family should be the order and control over its implementation. The main goal of the regime is the accumulation of the right disciplinary experience, and the wrong experience should be feared most of all. With the right regimen, punishments are not needed, and in general they should be avoided, as well as excessive rewards, it is better in all cases to hope for a correct regimen and patiently wait for its results.

Family farming

Each family has its own household.

End of introductory segment.

* * *

The following excerpt from the book Communication with difficult children (A. S. Makarenko) provided by our book partner -

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION………………………………………………………………………..3

CHAPTERI. THEORETICAL ASPECTS OF STUDYING THE PECULIARITIES OF COMMUNICATION WITH DIFFICULT CHILDREN………………………………………………..6

1.1 Psychological and pedagogical study of the problem of communication features with difficult preschoolers ……………………………………………..6

1.2. The genesis of the child’s communication ………………………………………………….10

CHAPTERII. EXPERIMENTAL WORK TO STUDY COMMUNICATION WITH DIFFICULT CHILDREN……………………………………………….…………22

2.1 The ascertaining stage of the experiment………………………………………22

2.2. Formative stage………………………………………..………………..25

2.3. Control stage………………………………………………..…………28

CONCLUSION………………………………………………………………….31

LIST OF USED LITERATURE………………………………33

APPENDIX

INTRODUCTION

Recently, the question of the so-called difficult children has arisen. There is an opinion that in recent years their number has increased dramatically. The reason for this, primarily in external factors - watching all TV shows in a row, family crisis and much more.

It's no secret that today's children are not like their peers twenty years ago. They are more excitable and less controlled, more intellectually developed and at the same time more infantile, they can do little with their hands, they can sit still and cannot sit still for hours and cannot play interestingly for several minutes.

We most often do not attach much importance to these changes and certainly do not correlate them with the increased number of difficult children. However, they are most often the root cause, the basis for the appearance of various deviations in children's behavior.

In this term paper, we will consider the categories of difficult children, and the features of communication with them, since we believe that this topic is the most relevant in our time.

Difficult children cannot be overlooked. Restless children often test the patience of adults with their behavior. The old pedagogical rule, which says that a simple and direct path in most cases turns out to be wrong (for example, a slap in the face, although it can quickly restore calm and "order", but entails far-reaching consequences), should also be taken into account in working with difficult children, because that in this case there are no simple ways and ready-made solutions. To a difficult child, and close people may experience alienation, but you should try to understand him and grow morally with the child in the process of solving his many problems. In 1902, G.F. Still, a famous English pediatrician and the first professor of childhood diseases, presented the first detailed description of the condition of difficult children. As the main violations of G.F. Still mentions pronounced motor disinhibition and erratic character of movements. The following scientists also dealt with this problem: A. Threadgold, suggested that some forms of brain damage associated with the pathology of childbirth can manifest themselves in the form of behavioral problems or learning difficulties, at a time when the child needs to cope with certain requirements. In our country since the late 20's - early 30's. 20th century Intensive research was carried out in the field of child psychiatry, described by the outstanding child psychiatrist G.E. Sukhareva, E.A. Osipova.

Are these really “bad children”, “little tyrants”, “white crows”, thrown to poor parents by a malicious fate? Or maybe they are just the antipodes of calm, quiet, adaptable and accommodating children? Children with an irrepressible thirst for movement. Children who move more than others. Maybe their restlessness is just a sign of liveliness? It was these questions that interested us when choosing a topic and writing a term paper. After analyzing the psychological and pedagogical literature on the problem, we can talk about the lack of research on the problem in our country, that is, we can say about the lack of pedagogical sources, as well as the lack of application in practice. Based on this, we considered this topic relevant and chose it as the topic of our course work.

The object of our study is the features of the organization of communication with "difficult" older preschoolers.

The subject of our study is the pedagogical conditions that ensure the effectiveness of the features of work and communication with "difficult" older preschoolers.

The purpose of our course work is: to identify difficult preschoolers and to study the features of their communication.

To achieve this goal, the following tasks were solved:

1) to analyze the theoretical foundations on the problem of the peculiarities of working with "difficult" preschoolers;

2) to study the features of communication of difficult children of preschool age;

3) select diagnostic tools for experimental research;

4) organize and conduct a research experiment with pupils of the middle group;

5) conduct a quantitative and qualitative analysis of the results.

Hypothesis: we assumed that in the course of work, namely, with the help of games - exercises aimed at:

Development of attention and formation of self-control of physical activity;

Consistency of joint actions and development of coordination;

The development of the arbitrariness of mental processes can weaken the behavior of older preschoolers.

Research methods:

1) study of pedagogical experience: observation, conversation;

2) method of theoretical analysis;

3) quantitative and qualitative data analysis.

Provisions for defense:

Recently, the question of the so-called difficult children has arisen. There is an opinion that in recent years their number has increased dramatically. The reason for this, primarily in external factors - watching all TV shows in a row, family crisis and much more. In this term paper, we will consider the features of communication with difficult children, since these children cannot be overlooked.

We believe that this topic is the most relevant in our time, since after analyzing the psychological and pedagogical literature on the problem, we can talk about the lack of research on the problem in our country, that is, we can say about the lack of pedagogical sources, as well as the lack of application on practice.

Research base of MDOU "Kindergarten No. 27", preschoolers of the middle group.

The structure of the course work: the course work consists of an introduction, two chapters (theoretical and practical), a conclusion, a list of references and an application.

CHAPTERI. THEORETICAL ASPECTS OF STUDYING THE FEATURES OF COMMUNICATION WITH DIFFICULT CHILDREN

1.1 Psychological and pedagogical study of the problem of communication features with difficult preschoolers

Difficult children (according to V.P. Kashchenko) are children with characteristic features in their life manifestations associated with persistent deviations from the norm of certain aspects of the emerging personality, due to physical or mental disabilities, defects and manifested in a complicated form of behavior.

In "difficult" older preschoolers, there are tendencies of misunderstanding on the part of others, an unsatisfied need for recognition, communication difficulties, a contradictory attitude towards themselves and others. In this case, the child has negative emotional states: general mental tension, emotional instability, emotional disinhibition or lethargy.

The formation of an older preschooler as a subject of communication depends on the relationship with the educator, on the child's attitude to learning activities and the level of development of his social and communicative qualities and personality traits.

A “difficult” child unsuccessfully tries to achieve social recognition in various inadequate ways, and as a result, he turns out to be rejected. It is characterized by a constant sense of guilt arising from failure and inadequate self-esteem. These children have a contradiction between an unrealistic level of claims and distrust of themselves, their abilities in learning, which extends to the child's attitude towards others.

Violations in the incentive component of communicative activity (disharmony of motives) are associated with the social underdevelopment of the child, which gives rise to his inappropriate behavior. The constant behavioral reactions of the child are a way out of the impasse - a chronic state of psychological discomfort, underdevelopment, inappropriate behavior, low ability for social relaxation, determine the low status of the child in the classroom.

The process of becoming a child's personality is complex and contradictory. The personality of the child is “not only given, but also given,” emphasizes the well-known domestic psychologist and teacher V.V. Zenkovsky. Variability is one of the most important features of a child's personality, which affects both individual traits and the whole personality. V.V. Zenkovsky believes, “we never can, we dare not put an end to a child who at the moment seems to be completely spoiled; a child's soul can suddenly and imperceptibly change and completely move away from everything that oppressed us in it.

Psychological difficulties, temporary emotional disturbances and behavioral disturbances, which are quite common in most children, are an integral part of a child's development.

A significant part of violations of children's behavior does not have a qualitative difference from the norm, although in terms of symptoms, i.e. set of manifestations, may resemble a disease. In this section, we will characterize the deviations and disorders that occur within the boundaries of the normal development of the child.

Consider the psychological nature and age characteristics of the most typical behavioral disorders in children.

Stubbornness is one of the early manifestations of behavior. In clinical psychology, stubbornness is associated with suggestibility. Children's suggestibility is preserved in an adult, although it undergoes serious changes, it moves to new levels.

Suggestibility and stubbornness are phenomena that are nearby. The child often resists suggestions, but the nature of this resistance may vary. In preschool age, resistance should be distinguished from non-perception. A small child may simply not perceive the speech addressed to him, he may not have enough attention to listen to the adult. Stubbornness (anti-suggestibility) begins to develop simultaneously with suggestibility, but with some delay and unevenly - periods.

The desire of the educator to "break", to punish can bring irreparable harm to the development of the child's personality. It is during this period that the child begins to unconsciously learn to assert his will and be aware of his Self (Goneev A.D.).

The full development of a child's personality in childhood is associated with his emotional development. The emotional system, like the cognitive one, provides for the regulation of behavior and orientation in the surrounding world.

Emotional disorders often cause deviant behavior of the child, lead to disruption of social contacts.

G.F. Breslav identifies a number of disorders of emotional development in childhood. In particular, in preschool age violations, in his opinion, are:

Lack of emotional decentration, which manifests itself in the inability to empathize with another person either in a real situation or when listening to a fairy tale;

Fixation of the emotional state, emotional "stuck", attachment to the situation, which is due to the low mobility of the processes of excitation and inhibition;

Lack of emotional anticipation. Without a return to the past, the emergence of shame, remorse, the formation of an arbitrary regulation of behavior is impossible;

The absence of syntony, i.e. the ability to respond to the emotional state of another person, especially a loved one;

Lack of guilt as a specific phenomenon of emotional self-regulation in preschool age;

Negative emotions and fears, isolation, aggressiveness.

Hyperactivity, "hyperdynamic syndrome" as a manifestation of disorders of the emotional regulation system.

Hyperactivity is a manifestation of a whole complex of disorders. Domestic researchers call such disorders as attention deficit disorders. Violations appear already in preschool age, but they become especially problematic when the child enters school. The main characteristics of a hyperactive child are disinhibition, distractibility, and impulsivity.

They often have destructive behavior, stubbornness, aggressiveness, deceit, a tendency to steal and other forms of antisocial behavior (I.V. Dubrovina).

The category of “difficult” also includes children with autistic behavior, withdrawn children.

Closure is a violation that is caused by shyness and manifests itself in the difficulties of establishing emotional contacts, relationships with people around.

Violation of behavior, or social maladaptation, manifests itself in socially disapproved forms of behavior. Such forms are diverse: aggressiveness, theft, fights, quarrels, demonstrative disobedience, destructive actions, deceit, etc.

Thus, in this paragraph, we have highlighted the existing deviations and disorders that occur within the boundaries of the normal development of the child.

In the next paragraph, we will consider the features of the mental development of older preschool children with hyperkinetic syndrome, and the causes of hyperactivity.

1.2. The genesis of the child's communication

From birth, a child gradually masters social experience through emotional communication with adults, through toys and objects surrounding him, through speech, etc. To independently comprehend the essence of the world around him is a task beyond the ability of a child. The first steps in his socialization are made with the help of an adult. In this regard, there is a problem of communication of the child with other people. Research M.I. Lisina and others show that the nature of a child's communication with adults and peers changes and becomes more complicated during childhood, taking the form of either direct emotional contact, or contact in the process of joint activity, or verbal communication. The development of communication, the complication and enrichment of its forms, opens up new opportunities for the child to assimilate various kinds of knowledge and skills from others, which is of paramount importance for the entire course of mental development and for the formation of personality as a whole.

Reciprocity in communication with adults begins to appear in infants at 2 months. The kid develops a special activity, trying to attract the attention of an adult in order to become the object of the same activity on his part. This first form of communication with adults in a child's life M.I. Lisina called situational-personal or directly emotional. Its appearance is preceded by a considerable work of both an adult and a child. A newborn comes into the world without the need for communication and without the ability to communicate. From the first days of his birth, an adult organizes an atmosphere of communication, establishes a signal connection with the baby, constantly reworks his behavior, highlighting and strengthening some actions in him, muffling others.

The first acts of protest, opposition, opposing oneself to others - these are the main points that are usually described as the content of the first year of life.

From one to three years, a new stage in the development of the child begins - early childhood. The activity of the child on the part of relationships with adults can be characterized as a joint activity. The kid wants the elders to join with him in classes with objects, he requires them to participate in their affairs, and the object action of the child becomes a joint action of him and the adult, in which the element of adult assistance is the leading one.

The content of the need for cooperation with an adult in the framework of situational business communication undergoes changes in children. In the first year and a half, at the pre-speech level of development, they need help in substantive actions. Later, at the speech level, the desire for cooperation takes on a new connotation. The kid is not limited to waiting for the help of the elder. Now he wants to act like an adult, and follow the example and model, copy him.

The situational-business form of communication plays a very important role in shaping the personality of the child. A delay at the directly emotional stage of communication with an adult is fraught with delays in the development of the baby, difficulties in adapting to new living conditions.

In early childhood, not only the elder influences the development of the child's personality. There comes a time when the child seeks to communicate with other children. The experience of communicating with adults largely determines communication with peers and is realized in relationships between children.

In his studies, A.G. Ruzskaya notes that the communication of a child with an adult and a peer is a variety of the same communicative activity.

Emotional and practical communication with peers contributes to the development of such personal qualities as initiative, freedom (independence), allows the child to see his capabilities, helps to further the formation of self-awareness, the development of emotions.

In the first half of preschool childhood (3-5 years old), a child observes a new form of communication with an adult, which is characterized by their cooperation in cognitive activity. M.I. Lisina called it "theoretical cooperation." The development of curiosity makes the baby pose more and more difficult questions. "Why" ask an adult for an answer or for an assessment of their own thoughts. At the level of extra-situational-cognitive communication, children experience an acute need for respect for elders, and show increased sensitivity to their attitude. The child is insecure, afraid that they will laugh at him. Therefore, an adult needs to take the child’s questions seriously and support his curiosity.

Communication with peers is becoming more and more attractive for the child, a situational-business form of communication with peers (4-5 years old) is being formed. The role-playing game is the leading activity in this period. Relationships between adults begin to be played out by children, and for them it is very important to cooperate with each other, establish and play roles, norms, rules of behavior, however, the adult still becomes the regulator of the game. The transition from complicity to cooperation represents a noticeable progress in the field of communicative activity with peers.

Recently, the problem of communicating with "difficult children" has become extremely relevant. This happens because the number of "difficult children" is steadily growing.

If in the past "difficult children" were predominantly adolescents, now children often fall into this category already at the age of 6-11 years. At present, even in relation to preschool children, teachers and educators use the expression: "difficult child." So who can be classified as a "difficult child"? In this case, we single out the following categories of children related to the concept of "difficult children". These are: - anxious - hyperactive - aggressive - impulsive - withdrawn - slow children.

"Anxious Children"

In the psychological dictionary, the following definition of anxiety is given: it is "an individual psychological feature consisting in an increased tendency to experience anxiety in a variety of life situations, including those that do not predispose to this."

Anxiety must be distinguished from anxiety. If anxiety is episodic manifestations of anxiety, agitation of a child, then anxiety is a stable condition.

Portrait of an anxious child:.

They are distinguished by excessive anxiety, and sometimes they are afraid not of the event itself, but of its foreboding. Often they expect the worst. Children feel helpless, afraid to play new games, start new activities. They have high demands on themselves, they are very self-critical. Their level of self-esteem is low, such children really think that they are worse than others in everything, that they are the most ugly, stupid, clumsy. They seek encouragement, adult approval in all matters.

Anxious children are also characterized by somatic problems: abdominal pain, dizziness, headaches, throat cramps, shortness of breath, etc. During the manifestation of anxiety, they often feel dry mouth, lump in the throat, weakness in the legs, palpitations.

How to identify an anxious child?

An experienced educator or teacher, of course, in the very first days of meeting children will understand which of them has increased anxiety. However, before making final conclusions, it is necessary to observe the child who causes concern on different days of the week, during training and free activities (at recess, on the street), in communication with other children.

To understand the child, to find out what he is afraid of, you can ask parents, educators (or subject teachers) to fill out a questionnaire form. The answers of adults will clarify the situation, help to trace the family history. And observation of the behavior of the child will confirm or refute your assumption.

Causes of anxiety in children:

To date, a definite point of view on the causes of anxiety has not yet been developed. But most scientists believe that in preschool and primary school age, one of the main reasons lies in the violation of parent-child relationships.

Anxiety also develops due to the presence of an internal conflict in the child, which can be caused by:

1. Conflicting demands made by parents or parents and school

3. Negative demands that humiliate the child, put him in a dependent position.

How to help an anxious child?

Working with an anxious child is fraught with certain difficulties and, as a rule, takes quite a long time.

1. Increasing self-esteem.

2. Teaching a child the ability to manage himself in specific, most exciting situations.

3. Relieve muscle tension.

Dramatization games are used in work with children (in a "scary school", for example). Plots are selected depending on what situations disturb the child the most. Techniques for drawing fears, stories about their fears are used. In such classes, the goal is not to completely rid the child of anxiety. But they will help him more freely and openly express his feelings, increase self-confidence. Gradually, he will learn to control his emotions more.

Anxious children are often prevented from coping with some task by fear. "I can't do it," "I can't do it," they say to themselves. If the child refuses to take on the case for these reasons, ask him to imagine a baby who knows and can do much less than he does. For example, he does not know how to count, does not know letters, etc. Then let him imagine another child who will surely cope with the task. It will be easy for him to be convinced that he has gone far from incompetence and can, if he tries, approach full skill.

Now ask him to say "I can't..." and explain to himself why this task is difficult for him. "I can ..." - to note what is already within his power. "I will be able to ..." - how he will cope with the task, if he makes every effort. Emphasize that everyone does not know how to do something, cannot do something, but everyone, if he wants, will achieve his goal.

It is important for all children to be able to relax, but for anxious children it is simply a necessity, because the state of anxiety is accompanied by a clamping of various muscle groups.

Teaching a child to relax is not as easy a task as it seems at first glance. Children know well what it is to sit down, stand up, run, but what it means to relax is not entirely clear to them. Therefore, some relaxation games are based on the simplest way to teach this state. It consists in the following rule: after a strong muscle tension, their relaxation follows by itself.

"Aggressive Children"

The psychological dictionary provides the following definition of this term: “Aggression is a motivated destructive behavior that is contrary to the norms and rules of the existence of people in society, harming the objects of attack (animate and inanimate), causing physical and moral damage to people or causing them psychological discomfort (negative experiences, a state of tension, fear, depression, etc.)”.

Portrait of an aggressive child

In almost every kindergarten group, in every class, there is at least one child with signs of aggressive behavior. He attacks other children, calls them names and beats them, takes away and breaks toys, deliberately uses rude expressions, in a word, becomes a "thunderstorm" of the entire children's team, a source of grief for educators and parents.

How to identify an aggressive child?

Aggressive children need the understanding and support of adults, so our main task is not to make an "accurate" diagnosis, let alone "stick a label", but to provide all possible and timely assistance to the child.

As a rule, it is not difficult for educators and psychologists to determine which of the children has an increased level of aggressiveness. But in controversial cases, you can use the criteria for determining aggressiveness, which were developed by American psychologists M. Alvord and P. Baker.

Causes of child aggression:

The reasons provoking such behavior have a very real basis, and it is extremely important to know about it. After all, ignoring them, it is hardly possible to cope with manifestations of aggression. Let's look at the most common reasons.

Rejection of children by parents

This is one of the basic reasons for aggressiveness, and by the way, not only for children. Statistics confirm this fact: often attacks of aggressiveness are manifested in unwanted children. Some parents are not ready to have a child, but it is undesirable to have an abortion for medical reasons, and the child is still born.

Indifference or hostility from parents

The increased aggressiveness of the child can lead to the destruction of positive emotional ties both between parents and the child, and between the parents themselves.

Aggressive reactions can be caused by incorrect and tactless criticism, insulting and degrading remarks.

Excessive control over the behavior of the child (hyper-custody) and his own excessive control over himself is no less harmful than the complete absence of such (hypo-custody). Suppressed anger, like a genie out of a bottle, is bound to burst out at some point.

Excess or lack of attention from parents.

Prohibition of physical activity

Increased irritability

Subconscious expectation of danger

An aggressive reaction may be associated with the personality characteristics of the child, his character and temperament, or be provoked by the facts of the child's personal experience.

How to help an aggressive child?

There can be many reasons for this behavior. But often children act in this way because they do not know how to act differently. Unfortunately, their behavioral repertoire is quite limited, and if we give them the opportunity to choose ways to behave, children will gladly respond to the offer, and our communication with them will become more effective and enjoyable for both parties.

The work of educators and teachers with this category of children should be carried out in three directions:

To work with anger - to teach the child generally accepted and non-dangerous ways for others to express their anger; For this, it is recommended to use the following games:

- “a bag of screams”, “a pillow for kicking”, “a leaf of anger”, “chopping firewood”.

To teach self-control - to develop the child's self-control skills in situations that provoke outbursts of anger or anxiety; For this, it is recommended to use the following games:

- "I counted to ten and decided", "" Anger on the stage "."

To work with feelings - to learn to be aware of one's own emotions and the emotions of other people, to form the ability for empathy, sympathy, trust in others;

- “Stories from photographs”, reading fairy tales and reasoning on the topic of how someone feels, what his mood is (heroes of fairy tales)

To instill constructive communication skills - to teach adequate behavioral reactions in a problem situation, ways out of the conflict.

- "creating a problem situation and a way out of it", "blind and guide"

"Hyperactive Children"

The word "hyperactivity" comes from the Greek word "hyper" meaning "a lot" and the Latin word "activus" meaning active. Therefore, hyperactivity in literal translation means increased activity. In the medical sense, hyperactivity in children is an increased level of physical activity at school and at home.

Portrait of a hyperactive child:

Such a child is often called a "give-up", "perpetual motion machine", tireless. A hyperactive child does not have such a word as "walking", his legs are worn all day long, catching up with someone, jumping up, jumping over. Even the head of this child is in constant motion. But trying to see more, the child rarely catches the point. The gaze glides only over the surface, satisfying momentary curiosity. Curiosity is not characteristic of him, rarely asks questions "why", "what for". And if he asks, he forgets to listen to the answer. Although the child is in constant motion, there are coordination disorders: he is clumsy, drops objects when running and walking, breaks toys, often falls. Such a child is more impulsive than his peers, his mood changes very quickly: either unbridled joy, or endless whims. Often behaves aggressively.

How can you tell if your child is hyperactive?

Hyperactivity (ADHD) is a medical diagnosis that only a doctor can make on the basis of special diagnostics and expert opinions. We can notice behavioral patterns, certain symptoms. To determine if a child has features that are characteristic of children with hyperactivity, read the system of criteria by which it is determined.

Causes of hyperactivity:

There are many opinions about the causes of hyperactivity. Many researchers note that the number of such children is growing every year. The study of such features of development is in full swing. To date, among the causes of occurrence are:

Genetic (hereditary predisposition);

Biological (organic brain damage during pregnancy, birth trauma);

Socio-psychological (microclimate in the family, alcoholism of parents, living conditions, wrong line of education).

They are not susceptible to reprimands and punishment, but they respond very well to praise and approval. Physical punishment should be avoided altogether.

Physical contact with the child is also very important. Hug him in a difficult situation, hug him, calm him down - in dynamics this gives a pronounced positive effect, but constant shouting and restrictions, on the contrary, widen the gap between parents and their children.

The organization of all life should have a calming effect on the child. To do this, together with him, draw up a daily routine, following which show both flexibility and perseverance.

Frequently celebrate and praise his efforts, even if the results are far from perfect.

A hyperactive child does not tolerate large crowds. Therefore, it is useful for him to play with one partner.

In general, it is necessary to monitor and protect children with ADHD from overwork, as overwork leads to a decrease in self-control and an increase in hyperactivity.

The system of prohibitions must necessarily be accompanied by alternative proposals.

Games for hyperactive children

Games for the development of attention

"Corrector", "Teacher", "Catch - do not catch", "All the way around"

Games and exercises to relieve muscle and emotional tension (relaxation);

"Soldier and a rag doll", "Humpty Dumpty", psycho-gymnastic classes

Games that develop skills of volitional regulation (management);

“I am silent - I whisper - I shout”, “Speak on signal”, “Freeze”

Games that help to consolidate the ability to communicate, communicative games.

"Revived toys", "centipede", "kind angels", "broken phone".

The first chapter of our course work is devoted to the theoretical foundations of the features of working with "difficult" older preschoolers. In the first paragraph, we reveal the features of the mental development of difficult children, examined the categories of difficult children, studied what features teachers need to take into account when dealing with difficult preschoolers.

CHAPTERII. EXPERIMENTAL WORK TO STUDY COMMUNICATION WITH DIFFICULT CHILDREN

2.1 Ascertaining stage

Purpose: to identify difficult preschoolers and study the features of their communication with peers.

1) select diagnostic tools for experimental research;

2) organize and conduct a research experiment with pupils of the middle group;

3) conduct a quantitative and qualitative analysis of the results.

Research methodology:

1) Diagnostic methods;

2) Quantitative and qualitative analysis of the results.

Experimental work to study the features of communication with difficult preschoolers was carried out on the basis of the MBOU "Kindergarten No. 27". The study involved pupils of the middle group, in the amount of 10 people. All studies were conducted with parental consent. In order to identify difficult preschoolers and study their communication with them, the following tools were selected: the project method "Cactus", observation of the communication of children in free activity, the author of the "Cactus" method M.A. Panfilova and its use.

For a more reliable identification of children with negative forms of behavior, in particular difficult children, preschool teachers used the graphic technique "Cactus" by M.A. Panfilova.

Of the existing graphic projective methods for identifying aggressiveness, the choice was made precisely on the “Cactus” method, since. children 4-5 years old still have a very low drawing technique, and it is difficult to reliably interpret the results. The Cactus method seems to be the simplest in technical execution and, as experience shows, the easiest and most accessible for working with children. The purpose of this technique is to study the emotional sphere of the child. Also, this technique helps to see the presence of aggressiveness, its direction and intensity.

The child is given the following instructions. "On a sheet of white paper, draw a cactus - the way you imagine."

Questions and additional explanations are not allowed.

When processing the results, the data inherent in all graphic methods are taken into account: the spatial arrangement and size of the drawing, the characteristics of the lines, and the pressure of the pencil. In addition, indicators specific to this technique are taken into account: the characteristic of the "image" of the cactus (wild, domestic, primitive, detailed, etc.), the characteristics of the needles (size, location, number).

When analyzing children's work, they were mainly interested in such characteristics as:

Aggression- the presence of needles. Strongly protruding, long, closely spaced needles show a high degree of aggressiveness.

Impulsiveness- jerky lines, strong pressure.

Anxiety- the use of dark colors (variant with colored pencils), the predominance of internal shading with broken lines.

Self-doubt, addiction- a small drawing, located at the bottom of the sheet.

Extroversion - the presence in the picture of other cacti or flowers.

Introversion - the figure shows one cactus.

Diagnostics was carried out in the first half of the day in a group room. The children were divided into groups and examined in turn. Each child sat at a separate table so as not to see the work of their peers. A set of pencils was offered to each child individually.

According to the results of the study, a total of 4 children were identified, in whose drawings there are elements characterizing aggressiveness (the presence of protruding, long, closely spaced needles; strong pressure). Along the way, this technique made it possible to identify such violations of the emotional sphere of children as impulsivity, self-doubt, anxiety, egocentrism. The results of the study are presented in table. one.

Table 1

Analysis of the results showed that out of 10 children (determined after the graphic technique "Cactus"), 2 preschoolers really have a tendency to negative forms of behavior, namely, to the real manifestation of aggression, 1 preschooler is shy, 1 child is anxious, 4 preschoolers have an average level of anxiety , 2 preschoolers have a low level of anxiety.

Based on the information received, we built the second formative stage of our work.

2.2. Formative stage

With all the children of the experimental group for 2 months (November-December), 2 times a week for 20-25 minutes, group classes were held with a teacher-psychologist, educator. The main method used in the work was game therapy.

The teacher-psychologist carried out correctional work in four directions:

1. Dealing with anger - teaching children how to express anger in an acceptable way.

2. Teaching children the techniques of self-regulation, the ability to control themselves in various situations.

3. Development of communication skills in possible conflict situations.

4. Formation of such qualities as sympathy, empathy, empathy, trust in people, etc.

In parallel, work was carried out with the family - visual information was posted, conversations and consultations were held, the main purpose of which was to encourage parents to think about their child, about the causes of his negative behavior, about his own behavior, etc.

With the children of the experimental group, in addition to the lessons of a teacher-psychologist, the main focus of work was the provision of pedagogical support to children directly during their stay in the group, which was an alternation and combination of methods and techniques of adult behavior, depending on the form of manifestation of the child's negative behavioral reactions and the conditions for their manifestation in the here and now situation.

The main tasks of the psychologist and educator were:

To help teachers and parents master the techniques of constructive, effective communication with aggressive children in order to eliminate the aggressive behavioral response from children or to extinguish the existing one;

The exclusion of such factors in the communication of adults with the child, which can provoke the child to respond aggressive behavior.

Arming teachers and parents with an arsenal of methods and techniques of behavior depending on the characteristics of the type and severity of the child's aggressive behavior, as well as on specific external circumstances and conditions for the manifestation of aggression in the situation "here and now" (the solution of this problem was the main guarantee of the success of the implementation of correctional work). To do this, workshops were organized (5 meetings with teachers, 3 with parents, 2 - joint), which included acquaintance, discussion, exchange of experience, playing out the use of various methods of response, methods of effective constructive interaction with aggressive children in various situations.

Thus, it is clear that in the organization of corrective work with the children of the experimental group, the main role was assigned not so much to the psychologist as to teachers and parents, since they constantly interact with the child. Their main task was to monitor the child and timely correct response to his negative behavioral manifestations. The psychologist was supposed to help teachers and parents to master the necessary skills and abilities.

During the first 2 months (November-December), the psychologist was present daily for 1 hour in the garden groups (which were visited by children from the experimental group), in order to assist teachers in building interaction with children in various situations in real conditions in order to provide pedagogical support.

Initially, difficulties arose due to the fact that, as noted by teachers and parents, they were not always able to immediately quickly and effectively organize interaction with the child both at the time of the danger of negative behavioral reactions (aimed at preventing them) and after negative actions. There were cases when adults did not know what to do in this situation. These cases were analyzed at Open Dialogue meetings, which were held 2-3 times a month (as needed).

To analyze the effectiveness of corrective work, the same diagnostic methods were used as at the ascertaining stage of the experiment.

2.3. control stage

The purpose of the control stage: to determine the effectiveness of the work performed.

Task: to conduct diagnostics with preschoolers after the work done.

Methods:

1. Diagnostic.

2.Method of processing the received information.

At the control stage, the same diagnostics were used as at the ascertaining stage, the same evaluation criteria were used.

The results are shown in table. 2.

table 2

Results of the ascertaining stage

At the control stage of the study, the children were also re-examined using the Cactus technique. The following results were obtained. In the control group of 10 children, 4 preschoolers have an average level of anxiety, 6 have a low level of anxiety.

After 2 stages of diagnostics, I would like to conduct a comparative analysis of the control and experimental groups. The results are presented in table. 3.

Table 3

Comparative analysis of the control and experimental groups according to the results of the "Cactus" method (in terms of "anxiety")

Index

Ascertaining stage

control stage

Shy

Aggressive

alarming

Low Anxiety

Average level of anxiety

Low Anxiety

Average level of anxiety

(10%)

(20%)

1 (10%)

(20%)

(40%)

(60%)

(40%)

Total

As can be seen from the table, in both groups in the process of corrective work, there is a tendency to reduce the level of anxiety.

It can be assumed that the reason for this is the fact that one of the main conditions for the interaction of adults with the child was the unconditional acceptance of the child in any situation (even directly at the time of manifestation of negative behavioral reactions).

Thus, a comparative analysis of the experimental and control groups of children based on the results of a diagnostic examination conducted at the ascertaining and control stages of the experiment showed that in both groups, for all diagnostic methods, there is a steady decrease in the indicators of negative behavioral manifestations. Nevertheless, it is clearly seen that in the experimental group, the indicators of reducing negative destructive manifestations are much higher. This allows us to conclude that correctional work, based on the principles of pedagogical support in the "here and now" situation, aimed at developing children's ability to analyze and evaluate their own activities, is effective in working with preschoolers. Conversations with teachers and parents also indicate that after the work, clear positive changes occurred in the behavior of children, their relationships with adults and peers improved significantly. Children have become more responsive, have learned to analyze the consequences of their own actions, adequately emotionally respond to various situations of reality.

Based on their results, I would like to draw a conclusion on the second chapter of the course work.

Timely and correct provision of pedagogical support to children with behavioral disorders helps to reduce negative forms of manifestations.

Pedagogical support for preschool children with negative forms of behavior should be complex, systematic and take into account the main characterological features of children, and first of all, the level of development of voluntary regulation of behavior and reflexive abilities.

The strategy for providing pedagogical support must necessarily include a flexible alternation and combination of methods and techniques of adult behavior, depending on the characteristics, type and severity of the child’s negative behavioral manifestations, as well as on specific external circumstances and conditions in the “here and now” situation. The choice of just such tactics of correctional work is due to the fact that preschoolers have insufficiently developed voluntary regulation of behavior, reflexive abilities are not developed, and, therefore, awareness of their own behavior is possible only in a specific situation.

Efficiency of work is possible only if the overall goal of providing pedagogical support to children is to combine the efforts of a psychologist, teachers and parents.

CONCLUSION

Summing up, we can say that the management of the pedagogical support system can be considered as a purposeful activity to organize such relationships and relationships between people occupying various professional positions that are sufficient to provide the necessary, adequate (and therefore real) support to a child who is faced with various problems, including the regulation of their own behavior. Properly provided pedagogical support strengthens the child's self-confidence, helps to adequately assess and show their abilities, to see adults around them who are really interested in their fate.

The fundamental difference between pedagogical support and other methods of pedagogical activity is that the child's personal problem is identified and generally solved by the child himself with the indirect participation of an adult. In this case, the child himself takes responsibility for the result of his actions, without shifting it to the teacher, parents or other people, i.e. shows a certain freedom of action, becomes the subject of his life.

The main criteria for the effectiveness of providing pedagogical support in a kindergarten are: the presence of an open educational space in a kindergarten; the level of professional culture of the teacher; the presence of humanistically oriented interaction in the system "teacher-pupil-parent";

Naturally, work based only on direct interaction with the child is clearly not enough to overcome the complex problem of behavioral disorders.. The most important condition for the organization of work is to overcome parental and pedagogical limitations and acquire new experience of interacting with children through the practical training of communication skills, rethinking their role and position in relation to children. The development of such skills and training in specific techniques may be the main content of the work of a psychologist with teachers and parents of children with negative forms of behavior.

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Difficult children - special or not? ... Methods of educational work with difficult children

Raising children is the most important area of ​​our lives. Our children are the future of our country and the world. They will make history. Our children are future fathers and mothers, they will also be educators of their children. Our children should grow up to be excellent citizens, good fathers and mothers. But that's not all: our children are our old age. Proper upbringing is our happy old age, bad upbringing is our future grief, these are our tears, this is our guilt before other people, before the whole country.

Dear parents, first of all, you should always remember the great importance of this work, your great responsibility for it.

In the pages of this book, I will talk about educational work with the so-called "difficult" children. Just keep in mind that I am a worker on the practical front, and therefore such a deviation, somewhat practical, will, of course, be in my words ... But I believe that practical workers make remarkable adjustments to the positions of the sciences. It is known that labor productivity is increased not by a simple increase in the consumption of working energy, but with the help of a new approach to work, a new logic, a new arrangement of labor elements. Consequently, labor productivity is increased by means of the method of inventions, discoveries, and discoveries.

The area of ​​our production - the area of ​​education - can in no way be excluded from this general movement. And in our field - I was deeply convinced of this all my life - inventions are also necessary, even inventions in individual details, even in trifles, and even more so in groups of details, in a system, in parts of a system. And such inventions can come, of course, not from workers on the theoretical front, but from ordinary, ordinary workers, like me. Therefore, without much embarrassment, I allow myself to talk about my experience and about the conclusions from experience, believing that its significance should also be in the plane of such a correction that the practical worker makes to certain achievements of theories.

What baggage do I have to talk to you?

Many consider me a specialist in work with the homeless. It is not true. I worked for a total of thirty-two years, sixteen of them at school and sixteen with the homeless. True, at school all my life I worked in special conditions - in a school under the constant influence of the public ...

In the same way, my work with street children was by no means special work with street children. First, as a working hypothesis, from the first days of my work with homeless children, I established that no special methods should be used in relation to homeless children; secondly, in a very short time I managed to bring homeless children to the state of the norm and conduct further work with them as with normal children.

In the last period of my work with problem children, I already had a normal team, armed with a ten-year-old and striving for the usual goals that our ordinary school strives for. The children in it, the former street children, were essentially no different from normal children. And if they differed, then, perhaps, for the better, since life in a work collective gave an extremely large number of additional educational influences, even in comparison with the family. Therefore, my practical conclusions can be applied not only to homeless difficult children, but also to any children's collective, and, consequently, to any worker on the front of education. This is the first remark that I ask you to take into account.

Now a few words about the very nature of my practical pedagogical logic. I have come to certain convictions, not come painlessly or quickly, but through several stages of rather painful doubts and mistakes, have come to some conclusions that will seem strange to some of you, but for which I have enough evidence to, without hesitation, report them. Some of these conclusions are theoretical. I will briefly list them before I begin my own experience.

First of all, the question of the very nature of the science of education is interesting. We, among pedagogical thinkers and individual organizers of our pedagogical work, are convinced that no special, separate methodology of educational work is needed, that the methodology of teaching, the methodology of the educational subject, should include the entire educational thought.

I don't agree with this. I believe that the educational field - the field of pure education - is in some cases a separate field, different from teaching methods.

Personally, and in practice, I had to have an educational goal as the main one: since I was entrusted with the re-education of the so-called offenders, the task before me was, first of all, to educate. No one even set me the task of educating. I was given boys and girls - delinquents, criminals, boys and girls with too bright and dangerous character traits, and above all, the goal was set - to change this character.

At first it seemed that the main thing was some kind of separate educational work, especially labor education. I did not stay in this extreme position for long, but my other colleagues stood for quite a long time. Sometimes this line prevailed. It was carried out with the help of a seemingly quite acceptable statement: whoever wants to, can study at school, who does not want to, can not study. In practice, it ended with the fact that no one was seriously engaged. It was worth a person to suffer some kind of failure in the class, and he could exercise his right not to want to study.

I soon came to the conclusion that the school is a powerful educational tool. In recent years, I have been persecuted for this principle of affirming the school as an educational means by individual workers. In recent years, I have relied on a complete ten-year school and am firmly convinced that real re-education, complete re-education, guaranteeing against relapses, is possible only with a complete secondary school - after all, even now I remain convinced that the methodology of educational work has its own logic, relatively independent of the logic of educational work. Both that and another - a technique of education and a technique of education, in my opinion, make two departments, more or less independent departments of pedagogical science. Of course, these departments should be organically connected. Of course, any work in the classroom is always educational work, but I consider it impossible to reduce educational work to education.

Now a few words about what can be taken as the basis of the methodology of education.

First of all, I am convinced that the methodology of educational work cannot be derived from the proposals of neighboring sciences, no matter how such sciences as psychology and biology are developed. I am convinced that we have no right to draw a direct conclusion from the data of these sciences to an educational tool. These sciences should be of great importance in educational work, not at all as a prerequisite for a conclusion, but as control points for testing our practical achievements.

In addition, I believe that an educational tool can only be derived from experience (and verified and approved by the provisions of such sciences as psychology, biology, and others).

This assertion of mine comes from the following: Pedagogy, especially the theory of education, is first and foremost a science of practical expediency. What I am firmly convinced of is that neither psychology nor biology can be deduced in a deductive way, in a simple syllogistic way, in the way of formal logic, a pedagogical tool cannot be deduced. I have already said that the pedagogical means must first be derived from our social life.

It is in the realm of purpose, in the realm of expediency, that I am convinced that pedagogical theory has erred in the first place. All mistakes, all deviations in our pedagogical work have always occurred in the realm of the logic of expediency. Let's call it errors. I see three types of these errors in pedagogical theory: the type of deductive utterance, the type of ethical fetishism, and the type of solitary means.

In my practice, I suffered a lot from dealing with such errors. Some remedy is taken and it is stated that the result from it will be like this; for example, take the history of the complex. The recommended remedy is an integrated teaching method; from this means it is speculatively, logically deduced that this way of teaching leads to good results.

This consequence, that the complex method leads to good results, was established before verification by experience; but it was affirmed that the result would certainly be good; in some recesses of the psyche, a good result will be hidden somewhere.

When humble practitioners demanded: show us this good result, we were objected: how can we open the human soul, there must be a good result, this is a complex harmony, a connection of parts. The connection of the individual parts of the lesson - it must be deposited in the human psyche with a positive result. This means that verification by experience was not logically allowed here. And it turned out such a circle: a good remedy - there should be a good result, and if a good result means a good remedy.

There were many such errors, stemming from the predominance of deductive logic, not experimental logic.

There were many mistakes and so-called ethical fetishism. Take, for example, labor education.

And I also made that mistake. In the very word "work" there is so much pleasant, so much sacred to us and so much justified, that even labor education seemed to us to be absolutely exact, definite and correct. And then it turned out that the very word "work" does not contain any single correct, complete logic. Labor was first understood as simple labor, as self-service labor, then labor as an aimless, unproductive labor process - an exercise in wasting muscular energy. And the word “labor” so illuminated logic that it seemed infallible, although at every step it was discovered that there was no real infallibility. But they believed so much in the ethical power of the term itself that even logic seemed sacred. Meanwhile, my experience has shown that it is impossible to derive any means from the ethical coloring of the term itself, that labor as applied to education can be organized in various ways and in each individual case can give a different result. In any case, work without the accompanying education does not bring educational benefits, it turns out to be a neutral process. You can force a person to work as much as you like, but if at the same time you do not educate him morally, if he does not participate in public life, then this work will simply be a neutral process that does not give a positive result.

Labor as an educational means is possible only as part of the general system.

And finally, another mistake is the type of solitary means. It is often said that such and such a remedy necessarily leads to such and such results. One remedy. Let us take, as if at first glance, the most undoubted assertion that has often been expressed in the pages of the pedagogical press—the question of punishment. Punishment educates the slave - this is an exact axiom that has not been subjected to any doubt. In this statement, of course, there were all three errors. Here there was an error both of deductive prediction and an error of ethical fetishism. In punishment, logic began from the very coloring of the word. Finally, there was the error of the solitary remedy—punishment educates the slave. Meanwhile, I am convinced that no means can be considered separately taken from the system. No means in general, whatever one may take, can be recognized as either good or bad, if we consider it separately from other means, from the whole system, from the whole complex of influences. Punishment can educate a slave, and sometimes it can educate a very good person, a very free and proud person. Imagine that in my practice, when the task was to cultivate human dignity and pride, I also achieved this through punishment.

Then I will tell you in what cases punishment leads to the education of human dignity. Of course, such a consequence can only be in a certain situation, that is, in a certain environment of other means and at a certain stage of development. No pedagogical means, even the generally accepted one, as we usually consider suggestion, explanation, conversation, and social influence, can always be considered absolutely useful. The best remedy in some cases is bound to be the worst. Take even such a means as collective action.

Sometimes it will be good, sometimes it will be bad. Take the individual impact, the teacher's face-to-face conversation with the pupil. Sometimes it will be helpful, and sometimes it will be harmful. No remedy can be considered from the point of view of usefulness or harmfulness, taken in isolation from the whole system of means. Finally, no system of funds can be recommended as a permanent system.

I am personally convinced of the following: if we take an ordinary school, put it in the hands of good teachers, organizers, educators, and this school will live for twenty years, then during these twenty years in good pedagogical hands it should go such a wonderful path that the education system at the beginning and at the end should be very different from one another.

In general, pedagogy is the most dialectical, mobile, most complex and diverse science. This statement is the main symbol of my pedagogical faith. I am not saying that I have already verified everything experimentally, not at all, and for me there are still a lot of ambiguities, inaccuracies, but I affirm this as a working hypothesis, which in any case needs to be tested. For me personally, it is proven by my experience.

By the way, I am convinced that the logic of what I said does not contradict the experience of our best schools, and very many of our best children's and non-children's associations.

These are the general preliminary remarks on which I wanted to dwell.

• 13.

Current page: 1 (the book has 16 pages in total)

Anton Semenovich Makarenko
Dealing with difficult children

Introduction
Difficult children - special or not? ... Methods of educational work with difficult children

Raising children is the most important area of ​​our lives. Our children are the future of our country and the world. They will make history. Our children are future fathers and mothers, they will also be educators of their children. Our children should grow up to be excellent citizens, good fathers and mothers. But that's not all: our children are our old age. Proper upbringing is our happy old age, bad upbringing is our future grief, these are our tears, this is our guilt before other people, before the whole country.

Dear parents, first of all, you should always remember the great importance of this work, your great responsibility for it.

In the pages of this book, I will talk about educational work with the so-called "difficult" children. Just keep in mind that I am a worker on the practical front, and therefore such a deviation, somewhat practical, will, of course, be in my words ... But I believe that practical workers make remarkable adjustments to the positions of the sciences. It is known that labor productivity is increased not by a simple increase in the consumption of working energy, but with the help of a new approach to work, a new logic, a new arrangement of labor elements. Consequently, labor productivity is increased by means of the method of inventions, discoveries, and discoveries.

The area of ​​our production - the area of ​​education - can in no way be excluded from this general movement. And in our field - I was deeply convinced of this all my life - inventions are also necessary, even inventions in individual details, even in trifles, and even more so in groups of details, in a system, in parts of a system. And such inventions can come, of course, not from workers on the theoretical front, but from ordinary, ordinary workers, like me. Therefore, without much embarrassment, I allow myself to talk about my experience and about the conclusions from experience, believing that its significance should also be in the plane of such a correction that the practical worker makes to certain achievements of theories.

What baggage do I have to talk to you?

Many consider me a specialist in work with the homeless. It is not true. I worked for a total of thirty-two years, sixteen of them at school and sixteen with the homeless. True, at school all my life I worked in special conditions - in a school under the constant influence of the public ...

In the same way, my work with street children was by no means special work with street children. First, as a working hypothesis, from the first days of my work with homeless children, I established that no special methods should be used in relation to homeless children; secondly, in a very short time I managed to bring homeless children to the state of the norm and conduct further work with them as with normal children.

In the last period of my work with problem children, I already had a normal team, armed with a ten-year-old and striving for the usual goals that our ordinary school strives for. The children in it, the former street children, were essentially no different from normal children. And if they differed, then, perhaps, for the better, since life in a work collective gave an extremely large number of additional educational influences, even in comparison with the family. Therefore, my practical conclusions can be applied not only to homeless difficult children, but also to any children's collective, and, consequently, to any worker on the front of education. This is the first remark that I ask you to take into account.

Now a few words about the very nature of my practical pedagogical logic. I have come to certain convictions, not come painlessly or quickly, but through several stages of rather painful doubts and mistakes, have come to some conclusions that will seem strange to some of you, but for which I have enough evidence to, without hesitation, report them. Some of these conclusions are theoretical. I will briefly list them before I begin my own experience.

First of all, the question of the very nature of the science of education is interesting. We, among pedagogical thinkers and individual organizers of our pedagogical work, are convinced that no special, separate methodology of educational work is needed, that the methodology of teaching, the methodology of the educational subject, should include the entire educational thought.

I don't agree with this. I believe that the educational field - the field of pure education - is in some cases a separate field, different from teaching methods.

Personally, and in practice, I had to have an educational goal as the main one: since I was entrusted with the re-education of the so-called offenders, the task before me was, first of all, to educate. No one even set me the task of educating. I was given boys and girls - delinquents, criminals, boys and girls with too bright and dangerous character traits, and above all, the goal was set - to change this character.

At first it seemed that the main thing was some kind of separate educational work, especially labor education. I did not stay in this extreme position for long, but my other colleagues stood for quite a long time. Sometimes this line prevailed. It was carried out with the help of a seemingly quite acceptable statement: whoever wants to, can study at school, who does not want to, can not study. In practice, it ended with the fact that no one was seriously engaged. It was worth a person to suffer some kind of failure in the class, and he could exercise his right not to want to study.

I soon came to the conclusion that the school is a powerful educational tool. In recent years, I have been persecuted for this principle of affirming the school as an educational means by individual workers. In recent years, I have relied on a complete ten-year school and am firmly convinced that real re-education, complete re-education, guaranteeing against relapses, is possible only with a complete secondary school - after all, even now I remain convinced that the methodology of educational work has its own logic, relatively independent of the logic of educational work. Both that and another - a technique of education and a technique of education, in my opinion, make two departments, more or less independent departments of pedagogical science. Of course, these departments should be organically connected. Of course, any work in the classroom is always educational work, but I consider it impossible to reduce educational work to education.

Now a few words about what can be taken as the basis of the methodology of education.

First of all, I am convinced that the methodology of educational work cannot be derived from the proposals of neighboring sciences, no matter how such sciences as psychology and biology are developed. I am convinced that we have no right to draw a direct conclusion from the data of these sciences to an educational tool. These sciences should be of great importance in educational work, not at all as a prerequisite for a conclusion, but as control points for testing our practical achievements.

In addition, I believe that an educational tool can only be derived from experience (and verified and approved by the provisions of such sciences as psychology, biology, and others).

This assertion of mine comes from the following: Pedagogy, especially the theory of education, is first and foremost a science of practical expediency. What I am firmly convinced of is that neither psychology nor biology can be deduced in a deductive way, in a simple syllogistic way, in the way of formal logic, a pedagogical tool cannot be deduced. I have already said that the pedagogical means must first be derived from our social life.

It is in the realm of purpose, in the realm of expediency, that I am convinced that pedagogical theory has erred in the first place. All mistakes, all deviations in our pedagogical work have always occurred in the realm of the logic of expediency. Let's call it errors. I see three types of these errors in pedagogical theory: the type of deductive utterance, the type of ethical fetishism, and the type of solitary means.

In my practice, I suffered a lot from dealing with such errors. Some remedy is taken and it is stated that the result from it will be like this; for example, take the history of the complex. The recommended remedy is an integrated teaching method; from this means it is speculatively, logically deduced that this way of teaching leads to good results.

This consequence, that the complex method leads to good results, was established before verification by experience; but it was affirmed that the result would certainly be good; in some recesses of the psyche, a good result will be hidden somewhere.

When humble practitioners demanded: show us this good result, we were objected: how can we open the human soul, there must be a good result, this is a complex harmony, a connection of parts. The connection of the individual parts of the lesson - it must be deposited in the human psyche with a positive result. This means that verification by experience was not logically allowed here. And it turned out such a circle: a good remedy - there should be a good result, and if a good result means a good remedy.

There were many such errors, stemming from the predominance of deductive logic, not experimental logic.

There were many mistakes and so-called ethical fetishism. Take, for example, labor education.

And I also made that mistake. In the very word "work" there is so much pleasant, so much sacred to us and so much justified, that even labor education seemed to us to be absolutely exact, definite and correct. And then it turned out that the very word "work" does not contain any single correct, complete logic. Labor was first understood as simple labor, as self-service labor, then labor as an aimless, unproductive labor process - an exercise in wasting muscular energy. And the word “labor” so illuminated logic that it seemed infallible, although at every step it was discovered that there was no real infallibility. But they believed so much in the ethical power of the term itself that even logic seemed sacred. Meanwhile, my experience has shown that it is impossible to derive any means from the ethical coloring of the term itself, that labor as applied to education can be organized in various ways and in each individual case can give a different result. In any case, work without the accompanying education does not bring educational benefits, it turns out to be a neutral process. You can force a person to work as much as you like, but if at the same time you do not educate him morally, if he does not participate in public life, then this work will simply be a neutral process that does not give a positive result.

Labor as an educational means is possible only as part of the general system.

And finally, another mistake is the type of solitary means. It is often said that such and such a remedy necessarily leads to such and such results. One remedy. Let us take, as if at first glance, the most undoubted assertion that has often been expressed in the pages of the pedagogical press—the question of punishment. Punishment educates the slave - this is an exact axiom that has not been subjected to any doubt. In this statement, of course, there were all three errors. Here there was an error both of deductive prediction and an error of ethical fetishism. In punishment, logic began from the very coloring of the word. Finally, there was the error of the solitary remedy—punishment educates the slave. Meanwhile, I am convinced that no means can be considered separately taken from the system. No means in general, whatever one may take, can be recognized as either good or bad, if we consider it separately from other means, from the whole system, from the whole complex of influences. Punishment can educate a slave, and sometimes it can educate a very good person, a very free and proud person. Imagine that in my practice, when the task was to cultivate human dignity and pride, I also achieved this through punishment.

Then I will tell you in what cases punishment leads to the education of human dignity. Of course, such a consequence can only be in a certain situation, that is, in a certain environment of other means and at a certain stage of development. No pedagogical means, even the generally accepted one, as we usually consider suggestion, explanation, conversation, and social influence, can always be considered absolutely useful. The best remedy in some cases is bound to be the worst. Take even such a means as collective action.

Sometimes it will be good, sometimes it will be bad. Take the individual impact, the teacher's face-to-face conversation with the pupil. Sometimes it will be helpful, and sometimes it will be harmful. No remedy can be considered from the point of view of usefulness or harmfulness, taken in isolation from the whole system of means. Finally, no system of funds can be recommended as a permanent system.

I am personally convinced of the following: if we take an ordinary school, put it in the hands of good teachers, organizers, educators, and this school will live for twenty years, then during these twenty years in good pedagogical hands it should go such a wonderful path that the education system at the beginning and at the end should be very different from one another.

In general, pedagogy is the most dialectical, mobile, most complex and diverse science. This statement is the main symbol of my pedagogical faith. I am not saying that I have already verified everything experimentally, not at all, and for me there are still a lot of ambiguities, inaccuracies, but I affirm this as a working hypothesis, which in any case needs to be tested. For me personally, it is proven by my experience.

By the way, I am convinced that the logic of what I said does not contradict the experience of our best schools, and very many of our best children's and non-children's associations.

These are the general preliminary remarks on which I wanted to dwell.

Chapter first
Where do difficult children come from, or How NOT to raise a difficult child?

Goals of education

Now let's move on to the most important issue, to the question of setting the goals of education. By whom, how and when can the goals of education be set and what are the goals of education?

By the goal of education I understand the program of the human personality, the program of the human character, and in the concept of character I put the entire content of the personality, that is, the nature of external manifestations and inner conviction, and political education, and knowledge - decisively the whole picture of the human personality; I believe that we, teachers, should have such a program of the human personality, to which we should strive.

In my practical work, I could not do without such a program. Nothing teaches a person like experience. Once I was given several hundred people, and in each of them I saw deep and dangerous aspirations of character, deep habits, I had to think: what should be their character, what should I strive for in order to raise a girl from this boy, human? And when I thought about it, I saw that this question cannot be answered in a nutshell. Raising a good person - it did not show me the way. I had to arrive at a more extensive program of the human personality. And, approaching the personality program, I met with the following question: what - this personality program should be the same for everyone? Well, should I drive every individual into a single program, into a standard, and achieve this standard? Then I must sacrifice individual charm, originality, special beauty of personality, and if not, then what kind of program can I have! And I could not resolve this issue so simply, abstractly, but I had it resolved for almost ten years.

I saw in my educational work that yes, there should be both a general program, a “standard” one, and an individual adjustment to it. For me, the question did not arise: should my pupil turn out to be a brave person, or should I raise a coward. Here I allowed the "standard" that everyone should be brave, courageous, honest, hardworking. But what to do when you approach such delicate parts of the personality as talent? Sometimes, in relation to talent, when you stand in front of it, you have to experience extreme doubts.

I had such a case when a boy graduated from a ten-year-old. His last name is Terentyuk. He studied very well - with fives, then he wished to go to a technological university. I discovered in him a great artistic talent before that, and a talent of a very rare fullness of a comedian, extremely subtle, witty, with excellent vocal cords, rich facial expressions, such an intelligent comedian. I saw that it is in the field of acting that he can give a great result, and in a technological school he will be an average student. But then there was such a hobby, all my "boys" wanted to be engineers. And if you start talking about becoming a teacher, they laughed right in the eyes: “How is it consciously, on purpose, to become a teacher?” - "Well, go to the actors." - “What are you, what is the work of an actor?” And so he went to the Institute of Technology with my deepest conviction that we are losing a wonderful actor. I gave up, I have no right, in the end, to make such a breakdown ...

But here I could not resist. He studied for six months, participated in our drama club. I thought and thought and made up my mind - I called him to a meeting, I said that I was making a complaint against Terentyuk: he did not obey discipline and went to a technological university. At a general meeting they say: “Shame on you, they tell you, but you don’t obey.” Decided: "Expel him from the Institute of Technology and assign him to the theatrical college." He walked very sad, but he could not disobey the team - he received a scholarship, a hostel in the team. And now he is a wonderful actor, he is already playing in one of the best Far Eastern theaters, at the age of two he has gone the way that people do at ten. And now he is very grateful to me.

By the goal of education I understand the program of the human personality, the program of the human character, and in the concept of character I put the entire content of the personality, that is, the nature of external manifestations and inner conviction, and political education, and knowledge - decisively the whole picture of the human personality.

But still, if such a task were now before me, I would be afraid to solve it - who knows what right I have to inflict violence? Here is the right to make such a breakdown - the question is not resolved for me. But I am deeply convinced that every teacher will face such a question - does the teacher have the right to intervene in the movement of character and direct him where necessary, or should he passively follow this character? I believe that the issue should be resolved as follows: has the right. But how to do that? In each individual case, this must be decided individually, because it is one thing to have the right, and another thing to be able to do it. These are two different problems. And it is very possible that in the future the training of our personnel will consist in teaching people how to carry out such breaking. After all, they teach a doctor how to perform a trepanation of the skull. In our conditions, perhaps, they will teach the teacher how to perform such a “trepanation”, perhaps more tactfully, more successfully than I did, but how, following the qualities of a person, his inclinations and abilities, to direct this person to side that suits her best.

Features of the modern family

Now your attention to some questions that are of general importance, that apply to all departments, to all the details of education, which must always be remembered.

First of all, we draw your attention to the following: raising a child correctly and normally is much easier than re-educating. Proper upbringing from early childhood is not at all as difficult as many people think. According to its difficulty, this work is within the power of every person, every father and every mother. Every person can easily raise his child well, if only he really wants to, and besides, this is a pleasant, joyful, happy business.

First of all, we draw your attention to the following: raising a child correctly and normally is much easier than re-educating.

Quite another is re-education. If your child was brought up incorrectly, if you missed something, thought little about him, or sometimes you were too lazy, neglected the child, then you already need to redo and correct a lot. And now this work of correction, the work of re-education, is no longer such an easy matter. Re-education requires more strength and more knowledge, more patience, and not every parent has all this. Let us even take such a case when the alteration helped, a person came to life and works. Everyone looks at him, and everyone is happy, including parents. But no one wants to calculate how much they still lost. If this person had been brought up correctly from the very beginning, he would have taken more from life, he would have gone out into life even stronger, more prepared, and therefore happier. And besides, the work of re-education, alteration is not only more difficult work, but also sorrowful. Such work, even with complete success, causes constant grief to parents, wears out the nerves, often spoils the parental character.

A lot of mistakes in family work come from the fact that parents seem to forget what time they live in. It happens that parents at work, in general in life, in society act as good people, but at home, among children, they live in the old fashioned way.

Parents should think about how the new family differs from the old one. In the old days, the father had more power, the children lived in his full will, and there was nowhere for them to go from their father's will. Many fathers abused such power, treated their children cruelly, like petty tyrants. Now everything is different. For example, a girl will not wait until her parents find a groom... The family should guide the feelings of their children. Obviously, we can no longer use the old methods in this matter, but must find new ones.

Children are now given a very wide range of choices. In this choice, only the abilities and training of the child play a decisive role. Our children, therefore, enjoy a completely incomparable space. Fathers know it, and children know it too. Under such conditions, no paternal discretion becomes simply impossible. Much more subtle, careful, and skillful guidance must now be recommended to parents.

The family has long ceased to be a paternal family. A woman enjoys the same rights as a man, a mother has rights equal to those of a father. Our family is not subject to paternal autocracy, but is a collective. In this collective, parents have certain rights. Where do these rights come from?

In the old days, it was believed that paternal authority was of heavenly origin: as God pleases, there was a special commandment about honoring parents. Parents are responsible for their family and therefore have some power and authority. Although each family constitutes a collective of equal members of society, nevertheless, parents and children differ in that the former lead the family, while the latter are brought up in the family.

Every parent should have a very clear idea of ​​all this. Everyone must understand that in the family he is not a complete, uncontrolled master, but only a senior, responsible member of the team. If this idea is well understood, then all educational work will proceed correctly.

Anton Semenovich Makarenko

Dealing with difficult children

Dealing with difficult children
Anton Semenovich Makarenko

Child psychology bestsellers
UNESCO singled out only four educators who determined the way of pedagogical thinking in the 20th century. Among them is Anton Makarenko, the author of Pedagogical Poem, known for his work with difficult children. It was he who proposed his own system of education and successfully put his theory into practice.

The book includes the most important and significant of the huge pedagogical heritage of A. S. Makarenko. Anyone who is interested in the problems of raising the younger generation will find answers to a wide variety of questions in this book: how to gain parental authority, how to create harmony in the family, how to develop a sense of purpose, how to promote the comprehensive development of the child, how to raise a happy person, and much more.

Anton Semenovich Makarenko

Dealing with difficult children

Introduction

Difficult children - special or not? ... Methods of educational work with difficult children

Raising children is the most important area of ​​our lives. Our children are the future of our country and the world. They will make history. Our children are future fathers and mothers, they will also be educators of their children. Our children should grow up to be excellent citizens, good fathers and mothers. But that's not all: our children are our old age. Proper upbringing is our happy old age, bad upbringing is our future grief, these are our tears, this is our guilt before other people, before the whole country.

Dear parents, first of all, you should always remember the great importance of this work, your great responsibility for it.

In the pages of this book, I will talk about educational work with the so-called "difficult" children. Just keep in mind that I am a worker on the practical front, and therefore such a deviation, somewhat practical, will, of course, be in my words ... But I believe that practical workers make remarkable adjustments to the positions of the sciences. It is known that labor productivity is increased not by a simple increase in the consumption of working energy, but with the help of a new approach to work, a new logic, a new arrangement of labor elements. Consequently, labor productivity is increased by means of the method of inventions, discoveries, and discoveries.

The area of ​​our production - the area of ​​education - can in no way be excluded from this general movement. And in our field - I was deeply convinced of this all my life - inventions are also necessary, even inventions in individual details, even in trifles, and even more so in groups of details, in a system, in parts of a system. And such inventions can come, of course, not from workers on the theoretical front, but from ordinary, ordinary workers, like me. Therefore, without much embarrassment, I allow myself to talk about my experience and about the conclusions from experience, believing that its significance should also be in the plane of such a correction that the practical worker makes to certain achievements of theories.

What baggage do I have to talk to you?

Many consider me a specialist in work with the homeless. It is not true. I worked for a total of thirty-two years, sixteen of them at school and sixteen with the homeless. True, at school all my life I worked in special conditions - in a school under the constant influence of the public ...

In the same way, my work with street children was by no means special work with street children. First, as a working hypothesis, from the first days of my work with homeless children, I established that no special methods should be used in relation to homeless children; secondly, in a very short time I managed to bring homeless children to the state of the norm and conduct further work with them as with normal children.

In the last period of my work with problem children, I already had a normal team, armed with a ten-year-old and striving for the usual goals that our ordinary school strives for. The children in it, the former street children, were essentially no different from normal children. And if they differed, then, perhaps, for the better, since life in a work collective gave an extremely large number of additional educational influences, even in comparison with the family. Therefore, my practical conclusions can be applied not only to homeless difficult children, but also to any children's collective, and, consequently, to any worker on the front of education. This is the first remark that I ask you to take into account.

Now a few words about the very nature of my practical pedagogical logic. I have come to certain convictions, not come painlessly or quickly, but through several stages of rather painful doubts and mistakes, have come to some conclusions that will seem strange to some of you, but for which I have enough evidence to, without hesitation, report them. Some of these conclusions are theoretical. I will briefly list them before I begin my own experience.

First of all, the question of the very nature of the science of education is interesting. We, among pedagogical thinkers and individual organizers of our pedagogical work, are convinced that no special, separate methodology of educational work is needed, that the methodology of teaching, the methodology of the educational subject, should include the entire educational thought.

I don't agree with this. I believe that the educational field - the field of pure education - is in some cases a separate field, different from teaching methods.

Personally, and in practice, I had to have an educational goal as the main one: since I was entrusted with the re-education of the so-called offenders, the task before me was, first of all, to educate. No one even set me the task of educating. I was given boys and girls - delinquents, criminals, boys and girls with too bright and dangerous character traits, and above all, the goal was set - to change this character.

At first it seemed that the main thing was some kind of separate educational work, especially labor education. I did not stay in this extreme position for long, but my other colleagues stood for quite a long time. Sometimes this line prevailed. It was carried out with the help of a seemingly quite acceptable statement: whoever wants to, can study at school, who does not want to, can not study. In practice, it ended with the fact that no one was seriously engaged. It was worth a person to suffer some kind of failure in the class, and he could exercise his right not to want to study.

I soon came to the conclusion that the school is a powerful educational tool. In recent years, I have been persecuted for this principle of affirming the school as an educational means by individual workers. In recent years, I have relied on a complete ten-year school and am firmly convinced that real re-education, complete re-education, guaranteeing against relapses, is possible only with a complete secondary school - after all, even now I remain convinced that the methodology of educational work has its own logic, relatively independent of the logic of educational work. Both that and another - a technique of education and a technique of education, in my opinion, make two departments, more or less independent departments of pedagogical science. Of course, these departments should be organically connected. Of course, any work in the classroom is always educational work, but I consider it impossible to reduce educational work to education.

Now a few words about what can be taken as the basis of the methodology of education.

First of all, I am convinced that the methodology of educational work cannot be derived from the proposals of neighboring sciences, no matter how such sciences as psychology and biology are developed. I am convinced that we have no right to draw a direct conclusion from the data of these sciences to an educational tool. These sciences should be of great importance in educational work, not at all as a prerequisite for a conclusion, but as control points for testing our practical achievements.

In addition, I believe that an educational tool can only be derived from experience (and verified and approved by the provisions of such sciences as psychology, biology, and others).

This assertion of mine comes from the following: Pedagogy, especially the theory of education, is first and foremost a science of practical expediency. What I am firmly convinced of is that neither psychology nor biology can be deduced in a deductive way, in a simple syllogistic way, in the way of formal logic, a pedagogical tool cannot be deduced. I have already said that the pedagogical means must first be derived from our social life.

It is in the realm of purpose, in the realm of expediency, that I am convinced that pedagogical theory has erred in the first place. All mistakes, all deviations in our pedagogical work have always occurred in the realm of the logic of expediency. Let's call it errors. I see three types of these errors in pedagogical theory: the type of deductive utterance, the type of ethical fetishism, and the type of solitary means.

In my practice, I suffered a lot from dealing with such errors. Some remedy is taken and it is stated that the result from it will be like this; for example, take the history of the complex. The recommended remedy is an integrated teaching method; from this means it is speculatively, logically deduced that this way of teaching leads to good results.

This consequence, that the complex method leads to good results, was established before verification by experience; but it was affirmed that the result would certainly be good; in some recesses of the psyche, a good result will be hidden somewhere.

When humble practitioners demanded: show us this good result, we were objected: how can we open the human soul, there must be a good result, this is a complex harmony, a connection of parts. The connection of the individual parts of the lesson - it must be deposited in the human psyche with a positive result. This means that verification by experience was not logically allowed here. And it turned out such a circle: a good remedy - there should be a good result, and if a good result means a good remedy.

There were many such errors, stemming from the predominance of deductive logic, not experimental logic.

There were many mistakes and so-called ethical fetishism. Take, for example, labor education.

And I also made that mistake. In the very word "work" there is so much pleasant, so much sacred to us and so much justified, that even labor education seemed to us to be absolutely exact, definite and correct. And then it turned out that the very word "work" does not contain any single correct, complete logic. Labor was first understood as simple labor, as self-service labor, then labor as an aimless, unproductive labor process - an exercise in wasting muscular energy. And the word “labor” so illuminated logic that it seemed infallible, although at every step it was discovered that there was no real infallibility. But they believed so much in the ethical power of the term itself that even logic seemed sacred. Meanwhile, my experience has shown that it is impossible to derive any means from the ethical coloring of the term itself, that labor as applied to education can be organized in various ways and in each individual case can give a different result. In any case, work without the accompanying education does not bring educational benefits, it turns out to be a neutral process. You can force a person to work as much as you like, but if at the same time you do not educate him morally, if he does not participate in public life, then this work will simply be a neutral process that does not give a positive result.

Labor as an educational means is possible only as part of the general system.

And finally, another mistake is the type of solitary means. It is often said that such and such a remedy necessarily leads to such and such results. One remedy. Let us take, as if at first glance, the most undoubted assertion that has often been expressed in the pages of the pedagogical press—the question of punishment. Punishment educates the slave - this is an exact axiom that has not been subjected to any doubt. In this statement, of course, there were all three errors. Here there was an error both of deductive prediction and an error of ethical fetishism. In punishment, logic began from the very coloring of the word. Finally, there was the error of the solitary remedy—punishment educates the slave. Meanwhile, I am convinced that no means can be considered separately taken from the system. No means in general, whatever one may take, can be recognized as either good or bad, if we consider it separately from other means, from the whole system, from the whole complex of influences. Punishment can educate a slave, and sometimes it can educate a very good person, a very free and proud person. Imagine that in my practice, when the task was to cultivate human dignity and pride, I also achieved this through punishment.

Then I will tell you in what cases punishment leads to the education of human dignity. Of course, such a consequence can only be in a certain situation, that is, in a certain environment of other means and at a certain stage of development. No pedagogical means, even the generally accepted one, as we usually consider suggestion, explanation, conversation, and social influence, can always be considered absolutely useful. The best remedy in some cases is bound to be the worst. Take even such a means as collective action.

Sometimes it will be good, sometimes it will be bad. Take the individual impact, the teacher's face-to-face conversation with the pupil. Sometimes it will be helpful, and sometimes it will be harmful. No remedy can be considered from the point of view of usefulness or harmfulness, taken in isolation from the whole system of means. Finally, no system of funds can be recommended as a permanent system.

I am personally convinced of the following: if we take an ordinary school, put it in the hands of good teachers, organizers, educators, and this school will live for twenty years, then during these twenty years in good pedagogical hands it should go such a wonderful path that the education system at the beginning and at the end should be very different from one another.

In general, pedagogy is the most dialectical, mobile, most complex and diverse science. This statement is the main symbol of my pedagogical faith. I am not saying that I have already verified everything experimentally, not at all, and for me there are still a lot of ambiguities, inaccuracies, but I affirm this as a working hypothesis, which in any case needs to be tested. For me personally, it is proven by my experience.

By the way, I am convinced that the logic of what I said does not contradict the experience of our best schools, and very many of our best children's and non-children's associations.

These are the general preliminary remarks on which I wanted to dwell.

Chapter first

Where do difficult children come from, or How NOT to raise a difficult child?

Goals of education

Now let's move on to the most important issue, to the question of setting the goals of education. By whom, how and when can the goals of education be set and what are the goals of education?

By the goal of education I understand the program of the human personality, the program of the human character, and in the concept of character I put the entire content of the personality, that is, the nature of external manifestations and inner conviction, and political education, and knowledge - decisively the whole picture of the human personality; I believe that we, teachers, should have such a program of the human personality, to which we should strive.

In my practical work, I could not do without such a program. Nothing teaches a person like experience. Once I was given several hundred people, and in each of them I saw deep and dangerous aspirations of character, deep habits, I had to think: what should be their character, what should I strive for in order to raise a girl from this boy, human? And when I thought about it, I saw that this question cannot be answered in a nutshell. Raising a good person - it did not show me the way. I had to arrive at a more extensive program of the human personality. And, approaching the personality program, I met with the following question: what - this personality program should be the same for everyone? Well, should I drive every individual into a single program, into a standard, and achieve this standard? Then I must sacrifice individual charm, originality, special beauty of personality, and if not, then what kind of program can I have! And I could not resolve this issue so simply, abstractly, but I had it resolved for almost ten years.

I saw in my educational work that yes, there should be both a general program, a “standard” one, and an individual adjustment to it. For me, the question did not arise: should my pupil turn out to be a brave person, or should I raise a coward. Here I allowed the "standard" that everyone should be brave, courageous, honest, hardworking. But what to do when you approach such delicate parts of the personality as talent? Sometimes, in relation to talent, when you stand in front of it, you have to experience extreme doubts.

I had such a case when a boy graduated from a ten-year-old. His last name is Terentyuk. He studied very well - with fives, then he wished to go to a technological university. I discovered in him a great artistic talent before that, and a talent of a very rare fullness of a comedian, extremely subtle, witty, with excellent vocal cords, rich facial expressions, such an intelligent comedian. I saw that it is in the field of acting that he can give a great result, and in a technological school he will be an average student. But then there was such a hobby, all my "boys" wanted to be engineers. And if you start talking about becoming a teacher, they laughed right in the eyes: “How is it consciously, on purpose, to become a teacher?” - "Well, go to the actors." - “What are you, what is the work of an actor?” And so he went to the Institute of Technology with my deepest conviction that we are losing a wonderful actor. I gave up, I have no right, in the end, to make such a breakdown ...

But here I could not resist. He studied for six months, participated in our drama club. I thought and thought and made up my mind - I called him to a meeting, I said that I was making a complaint against Terentyuk: he did not obey discipline and went to a technological university. At a general meeting they say: “Shame on you, they tell you, but you don’t obey.” Decided: "Expel him from the Institute of Technology and assign him to the theatrical college." He walked very sad, but he could not disobey the team - he received a scholarship, a hostel in the team. And now he is a wonderful actor, he is already playing in one of the best Far Eastern theaters, at the age of two he has gone the way that people do at ten. And now he is very grateful to me.