A young girl and a grown man. Why do young girls want older men, what attracts them? Cons of dating a man older than you

Looking at the strange union of an adult man and a very young girl, many people have an unequivocal opinion: there is no smell of love there, just pure calculation. Well, perhaps the man himself is in love, and the girl is certainly looking at his wallet. Are these "experts" right, or are they wrong?

Old man and young woman - is it normal?

“Gray hair in a beard - a demon in a rib” - you must have heard this expression. It is difficult to believe in the love of an elderly old man and a young beauty. Rich and famous men love it when their retinue consists of young charmers - cute girls with a model appearance. And those, in turn, are trying with might and main to please the old people, because this gray-haired “guy” is a walking Klondike!

But in the media, such rich people flicker mainly with escort girls - beauties who do their job for money. Foolish womanizers sometimes go crazy from the surrounding beauty and freshness, and that's when this demon happens in the ribs: they register marriages with one of the cuties.

What leads to such an unequal marriage? Well, many have already heard from boring talk shows about the scandalous divorces of rich old men and their young wives. Sobbing young women tell how they took care of the elders, carried out pots for them, and now they want millions in compensation for this. Here it is clear - not a word about love. Were there any pots at all?

Yes, for an old plumber, this would definitely not have gone. There is only one engine - money. And yet marriage is considered normal if it is not "Santa Claus and the Snow Maiden", but a mature man + a young girl. Or just a relationship with hot love.

"Unequal marriage", artist V. Pukirev

arrow_left"Unequal marriage", artist V. Pukirev

Well, what drives a mature man who, by any fate, is trying to fall in love with a young girl and marry her? After all, he has a huge competition - young guys who have only recently begun to shave their mustaches. And the interests of guys and girls are much closer - they live on the same wavelength for their generation.

But why is the temptation so great for men of middle (and above) years to be close to a young lady? And there are many advantages:

The girl is pleasant to the touch. Body, elastic, young, fragrant. Still no age-related diseases, like peers, no complaints.

She is visually beautiful. By itself, youth does not require special care, it is too early to think about plastic surgeons and cosmetologists. She doesn't even need makeup.

She does not delve into household trifles. All these housing and communal services tariffs, where onions are cheaper on the market, why the prices of medicines have been raised, are of little concern to her.

She is modern for her generation. With her it is interesting to learn everything new, which is not always in the mind of his peers.

She is easy going. As long as she is more interested in the world, she will gladly fit into any kipish without complaining of being unwell.

A man with such a young special catches a buzz from his own second youth, despite his age. Having fallen in love with a young girl, he understands that he has to sacrifice a lot: perhaps leave his family with children, having dissolved the marriage, work harder to pay alimony and support his new wife, and also be in shape so that the body is strong, not flabby. He must also outwardly like his chosen one, not everything is measured in money.

It is clear that very old men look like grandfathers next to their young mistresses, the sight is even repulsive. But middle-aged guys can still surpass their milk-sucking competitors: they are no longer so naive, but still very full of energy.

If you do not take into account the huge disparity in age, then nevertheless, young ladies are not only attracted by the finances of adult men. Love is what really drives a girl who closes her eyes to how old her chosen one is.

Like, and why should she suffer like a fool? So many young and hot guys curl around her, but she does not like these puppies. Why does she need a boyfriend much older than her?

The middle-aged man looks solid. Unless, of course, he behaves like a clown, dressing in youth fashion and adjusting to snotty boys.

He is much smarter than her peers. Still not an old man, but no longer a yellow-mouthed guy, but there is harsh male wisdom, thanks to rich life experience. With him safely and calmly.

He knows how to appreciate women. And the young charmer has more than these virtues: youth, beauty, energy and holy naivety.

And if, in addition to all this, he is still insanely handsome and rich, then all these snotty guys from the yard are no match for him. Well, except to “light it up” with them in a nightclub for fun.

A man who is older than herself often resembles her own father. In the event that dad was a respected authority in the family, or vice versa, he didn’t exist at all, but I would like to. So the girl is drawn to such a “daddy”.

But, falling in love, she often "burns". Such cool mature men do not lie on the road, they are often already married to another woman, and with a young one they simply have a love relationship.

By the way, if you are now in love with such a respectable guy who is much older than you, then find out if he is married. And how to do it - you will read in the article.

How much older can a man be than his chosen one for their relationship to be considered normal?

Age about 10 years old. This is not the biggest scale, and in principle such relations can be strong: the energy is still in full swing for both, interests coincide, mutual understanding is excellent.

Age about 20 years old. A wonderful union if the relationship resembles a father-daughter union. The wife obeys the wise husband in everything, the husband surrounds his beloved with care and fully provides for her.

Age around 30 years old and above. One can hardly believe in mutual love, there is certainly an explicit calculation. And it is not necessary that a man be fabulously rich, but a woman can keep next to him something that she cannot do without in life. But the conflict of generations is definitely guaranteed here.

Well, to start with, you need to initially like a guy who is older than you. Do you think it's enough that you're beautiful and young? Well, except for the fact that this guy just “feasted” on you in bed.

Older men also know their worth. Only a henpecked fool will register a marriage with a nasty bitch who will rip him off like a sticky. The guy at the age already has enough life experience to keep such people away from him.

But this same experience tells him what to expect from a young woman:

Even if she has an education and she is smart, she still does not have much wisdom. Life has not yet "filled her bumps" so that she takes a philosophical attitude to the blows of fate.

Some antics will still have to endure from her. Well, like a father from a capricious daughter who shouts in the store: “Buy!”, And dad agrees, having spent the last money.

There may be misunderstandings in the family. Again, this is a generation gap. She has yet to explain what he himself has already "stuffed himself with bumps."

So, to really like him, do not try to convince him otherwise. Don't try to be smart about things you don't understand yet. On the one hand, your naivety may seem touching to him, but on the other hand, he will be embarrassed to show you to his friends. They will consider you a fool and will not appreciate you.

The best approach to such a guy at a respectable age is to listen to him, admire his wisdom and praise for his achievements. Oh how it grows! But you also need more than an open mouth from his stories. Charge it with your energy - cheerfulness and love.

What to Avoid

How to behave with an adult man so as not to frighten him? Here are some rules:

Never speak of him as an old man compared to you. Even if he is not a young guy, it will still be insulting for him.

Try to keep your friends in common. He may be jealous of you, even if you are just friends with your peers apart from him.

Show that you are also a woman, and not a capricious daughter. He can get tired of the constant role of daddy. Housekeeping and caring for a husband has not yet been canceled for wives.

In general, if you have serious intentions for this man, and you love him, then do not rush to the wedding, live together in a civil marriage to make sure if this is your man.

Recently, there are more and more cases when young girls enter into relationships with already adult men. In fact, the reason for this does not always come down to love. An adult man is an experienced person, who has already gone through a series of trials, hardened, standing on his feet. It seems to the girl that with him she is getting a ready-made groom who will give her the Danish kingdom.

A man in adulthood is a man whose adolescence is far behind. But the girls do not understand that it is often much more difficult with such people than with their peers. As a rule, adults are people with ossified, conservative views, and they cannot be changed. Love for many means little in the romantic sense that young companions are waiting for. Such a man managed to draw conclusions, endure experience, and if he builds relationships, they will be the most serious.

Such relationships are good because a man in years is higher than any boy in terms of acquired wealth. But along with worldly goods and life experience, he could acquire a lot of complexes and problems. And a woman, as Alexander Gordon once said, will have to justify the entire feminine gender in her own person. With such men, you will have to build relationships very wisely and carefully, and young passions, as a rule, do not understand this approach.

What to expect from a grown man?

He will undoubtedly be generous and forgive any flaw. Most likely, he will be gentle, very attentive and will idolize his woman, as a new love will open a second wind for him. His feelings will be inexhaustible if you manage to support them. A young wife will become for such a person a second chance in life, which he will not immediately believe. Such a person, most likely, has already been burned and therefore will be careful in the manifestation of feelings, but there is no doubt that they will be the most decent.

But we must understand that such a relationship is not ideal. There are so many difficulties in them that many couples cannot stand it. A lot will depend on the girl. If she has the strength to endure and maintain such a relationship, maintain them and forgive a man for his fears, then everything will work out. An adult man is a wise man, but his wisdom becomes a brake on him. A woman may already want to finally go down the aisle, and the adult missus will still be in thought. Here the right approach is to help him, and, with patience, gently push him on the right path.

It must be understood that a woman for an adult is, first of all, an internal filling. It should be interesting with her, she should have a soul and a character that suits a man. Adult representatives of the stronger sex appreciate the mind. Many girls become frustrated in such relationships when they begin to feel that a grown man is behaving like a father. And his love and the truth will resemble paternal.

Respect, devotion, trust, sincere care - this is what a man in years will give his woman in full. But also these are the moments that he will expect from the chosen one. Adults are very demanding, regardless of their young age. Of course, they will always take on all the difficulties and troubles, but they will expect order, self-control and responsibility from a woman.

If your chosen one is much older than you, then it will be difficult to pull him out somewhere in people, evenings in clubs will be replaced by home gatherings, fun will no longer consist in noisy companies. If a young girl is ready to give up all the delights of youth and devote her life to creating family happiness, then a relationship with an adult of the opposite sex will be suitable for her.

An adult man and a young innocent girl. Sounds obscene, doesn't it? For many, it's even offensive. And in any case - a little strange. The age difference is usually associated with various negative connotations. Talking about relationships that seem to have descended from the pages of Nabokov's Lolita is a social taboo; it is believed that in these relationships, the man is the predator, and the girl is the victim. However, girls themselves may want relationships with men older than themselves, and for good reason!

12. Maturity of a partner
Maturity is sexy. Many young guys do not even realize how even the thought of an accomplished, responsible and self-confident man turns on. This is expressed, of course, not only in external attributes: it is an internal state. A man who is self-confident and so does not need to constantly “feed” with confidence and energy. Maturity is manifested in various situations: in how a man behaves in everyday life, how he copes with difficult situations, what goals he sets for himself (even at a respectable age).

11. Something to brag about
Well, what girl can resist boasting that she is dating an older man? It is always perceived as an interesting topic for conversation. If you like to be the center of attention, tell your girlfriends that your new boyfriend is X years older than you - and enjoy the reaction. Of course, they will have a billion questions, and they will admire you for boldly stepping outside your comfort zone, which they themselves would not dare to do. Or maybe, on the contrary, they will look at you with contempt and say that they would never have fallen so low. In any case, the reaction will be; to be honest, many girls meet mature men only to shock others.

10. They are usually looking for a long-term relationship.
Older men value serious relationships. Maybe the point is that they are looking for reassurance that they will not be abandoned or betrayed (especially if they already had such an experience). A long-term relationship is far better than something uncertain, and mature, wise men know this better than anyone else. Yes, some young men do not want obligations at all and expect only entertainment and pleasure from relationships; Unfortunately, women have a different opinion on this matter, and it usually coincides with the opinions of older men. Sorry boys, nothing personal.

9. They are real gentlemen
Mature men know how to conquer a woman: they usually behave with women like true gentlemen. Not only do they not expect you to have sex on the first date - they really care for you, and at the same time they do not have time for those games that young guys love to play, either refusing obligations or expressing readiness for them. The "gentlemanly" aspect is one of the main reasons why girls prefer older men: women need someone who behaves decently without making any drama.

8. As long as they are with you, chivalry will not die.
When a man opens the door for a woman, pays for two in a restaurant, tells his couple how much he appreciates her, and just shows respect for her with every gesture, it conquers. Especially for boys: holding the door for a woman is not a gesture that pays for sex. It's just something that you do without even realizing it and showing your respect and admiration. Mature men know this. If you think that with a couple of chivalrous gestures you are buying yourself a hot dinner and a bed - think again.

7. You don't have to wait until he "grows" to your level.
It is a known fact that boys mature much, much later than girls. Therefore, it is difficult to blame a girl for not wanting to wait for her boyfriend to get out of adolescence. It's hard to take seriously a guy who acts more like your son than like an equal partner. A mature man has already left this phase and does not want to return there. Equality of minds is also an important part of relationships. So, if you have to choose between a guy who only cares about skateboarding and partying, and a partner who has matured in all respects ... the choice is obvious.

6. You feel secure
To be with a man older than yourself means to feel "like behind a stone wall." Yes, yes, this is the same notorious search in men for the image of a father. An older man protects and supports you; with him you can afford to be a fragile woman. No one says you shouldn't feel this way with a partner your age, but with a mature man, these feelings are amplified. After all, every woman wants a man to love, protect and respect her.

5. They are determined and held in life
For a woman, one of the benefits of being in a relationship with an older man is that she can judge how successful he has been in life. Some girls simply do not have the patience to be with someone who does not have serious goals and objectives in life. It's sad when a man's ambitions are zero, and his work is such that he can't even provide for himself, let alone a partner. With a man who knows what he wants from life, you don't have to wonder "what if...". Such relationships are devoid of a number of stresses and give you many opportunities to simply enjoy each other's company.

4. They are experienced in sex.
The fact that a man lived to his age does not always mean that he really has extensive sexual experience. However, experience and wisdom usually come with age, and mature men may know things that young men are not even aware of. Sex is not always the foundation of a relationship, but it's still nice to have someone next to you who knows what he's doing in bed. Mature men are not afraid to talk about what they want and what their partner wants.

3. Relationships taste like forbidden fruit.
There is something wrong, taboo and... so fascinating! When you are barely twenty years old, and a mature man finds you attractive, it is flattering and turns on. In addition, such an experienced boyfriend, so different from the yellow-mouthed youths, is not a sin to brag about. Perhaps you will meet secretly, because you simply won’t know how to explain this relationship to others. It's a pity.

2. Sometimes you just fall in love.
In fact, you can fall in love with anyone, and age is not a determining factor here. Love, as they say, is submissive to all ages, and the feelings of a 19-year-old girl for a 40-year-old man can be as strong as the feelings of another 19-year-old girl for a 19-year-old guy. Relationships are relationships; love is love. There's nothing to be done here.

1. They are men
The terrible truth is that a woman needs a MAN first of all. And the attributes of a real man are everything that is listed in this list. We are not saying, of course, that young men are not men, but there is a difference in how mature they are from the point of view of women, compared to older and more experienced men. There are, of course, happy exceptions among young men, but it is known that exceptions only confirm the rule.

23 Sep 2016

About fifty percent of people have had sexual relations with a significantly older partner. If we take statistics only among women, then this percentage will be even higher. And the point here is not only in the blindness of love, to which all ages are submissive. Living together with a large age difference gives a lot to both partners: the older one gets young energy, and the young one gets experience.

Love will come unexpectedly

Why do grown men love young girls? Often the effect of the last chance works here - he loves like the last time, not sparing himself. And sometimes everything converges: knowledge, past mistakes and failures are now taken into account and passed - he knows exactly how to do it. Such a man is both wise and young in soul at the same time. He already knows that giving is much more pleasant than receiving - and lives in accordance with this. It is easy to be capricious with him - and he will not tolerate quirks through his teeth, but understand and accept them, even catching a buzz from them ...

He clearly distinguishes the main from the secondary. Nearby is his beloved, his gentle younger friend, and from her closeness he again wants to breathe deeply, do crazy things and smile. And when a child appears, he becomes triple desired and loved - and even more so his mother.

It is not surprising that at all times a family union with a twenty-year or even more age difference was in the order of things. An inexperienced girl acquires wisdom, and a respectable man seems to eat rejuvenating apples.

However, there are, of course, downsides and pitfalls. If a girl is going to formalize a relationship with an elderly man, she should study the features of such a family. For example, it is important to understand which of the three main types of age lovers a potential husband belongs to.

The first type - let's call it the word "lovelace". He has considerable experience in terms of the female sex, and there is already more than one divorce behind him. However, there are pluses in this: the ex-wives have worked a lot on his upbringing and education - there is no need to accustom him. He knows how to solve many family problems, including coping with his wife's bad mood.

But the cons are a continuation of the pros: having been in the hands of different women, he can compare. Maybe one of his ex-wives was an irresistible beauty, another lit up in bed, and the third cooked at the level of a restaurant chef. In love "for the last time", he believes that you will be an ideal, connecting all the best. But you are hardly suitable for the role of such a superwife-heroine.

The second type is the old bachelor. This “young guy” lived to be fifty years old and was quite satisfied with life, but then somehow he suddenly realized that old age was just around the corner, and no one would give him a glass of water. Most often, everything is in order with him and with money, and with housing, and with social status - but he needs care, tenderness and heirs.

What other advantages does such a husband have? Usually, they make excellent fathers who are ready to do anything with the child, to transfer their knowledge and skills to him.

The main problem of such a relationship is hidden in bed - and sometimes it is not so easy to solve it. But everything is possible, especially with the use of modern and ancient medicine. Most likely, his sexuality only needs to be awakened, and then he will turn into a dream man.

The third type is illustrated by the saying "gray hair in a beard, demon in a rib." The usual story: a man lives with his wife almost until the silver wedding, and the children have already grown up - and then comes the crisis of middle or even older age. And then he comes across a young girl, passion flares up. First comes a double life, then a painful divorce. The new wife is happy, but ... usually not for long.

Because he needed not a new family, but new sensations, a shake-up, adventures. The mistress was a holiday, an outlet - and now she becomes a wife, turning into something from which he fled. Now she sweeps the floors and stands by the stove, and he calls his ex-wife, asking about the children, and just out of nostalgia. The outbreak of love subsides, and often the case ends with a return to the old family - or a new young mistress.

But still, in this case, everything is by no means hopeless. Often a young lady copes with this test of transition from the category of lovers to wives - and then life turns out to be bright and interesting. Most often, her husband, even at the age of “over sixty,” will be young and fresh as a cucumber - he prefers to ski or even snowboard. From his aged peers, he will be strikingly different for the better, and there will be very few domestic problems in life with him.

Say goodbye to prejudice

Love, as Alexander Sergeevich wrote, is submissive to all ages. True, the classic added to this a weighty “but” about young and virgin hearts. Thank God, the youth of the heart can be preserved in adulthood. Usually relationships with a large age difference are much more tender than those of their peers - what's wrong with that? If the feelings are real, then you need to live in accordance with them, and not with stupid advice or prejudice.

Why do young girls love grown men? Because there is something to love! For "father's" help, for mature wisdom, for spiritual sensitivity and depth - for everything that peers usually cannot boast of.

How can you not like it! And for reliability, of course - mature men look like a stronghold of calm (and usually not only look!). They can both warn, and guide, and explain in time. Finally, there are usually much fewer problems with fidelity from them.

And an elderly man happily takes care of a woman, and her individual stupidities cause him not anger, but a light and kind smile. And his love is more honest and proven. He wants exactly this woman, considers her the best - with his rich experience! This not only flatters, but also warms the soul of the chosen one. Is it any wonder why girls love adult men and often make a choice in their favor?

Much less often, but there are also relationships with a different sign - young guys meet with experienced women. Why can a young guy fall in love with an older woman? First of all, for its self-sufficiency and independence. She will not throw a tantrum if her husband forgot to call, does not require entertainment and endless declarations of love, respects men's freedom. And, of course, it is simply more interesting with her.

In a word, down with prejudices! The jokes of girlfriends and the sidelong glances of the mother - all this can be easily experienced, and your true happiness is much more important. And it's stupid to sacrifice the happiness that you can give each other, just because of a few numbers in your passport!

Young girls often fall in love with men much older than themselves. This happens for several reasons. Firstly, physiologically and psychologically, girls mature faster, so at some point in time, peers seem uninteresting and immature to them. Secondly, adult men can boast of rich life experience, thanks to which they know how to charm the fairer sex. And thirdly, mature men take life more seriously, they can surround their chosen ones with care and give them a comfortable life. It seems that in couples where partners are separated by an impressive age difference, love and harmony reign. However, not everything is so rosy, relationships with a man older than a woman are fraught with some difficulties.

If you are planning to connect your life with a man who is practically suitable for your father, you should carefully consider all the pros and cons. At the very least, you need to prepare for 7 common difficulties that lie in wait for you if you are in a relationship with an older man.

Relationship difficulties with a man older than a woman

1. Generation gap

Most often, the relationship between a young girl and an adult man develops according to the child-parent scenario. This has its advantages, because your partner will take on all the pressing problems and worries. But at the same time, at some point you will again feel like a teenager who fiercely defends his rights in front of dad and mom. A difference of ten or several decades in the eyes of a man automatically makes you weaker and more unintelligent. In addition, your personalities were formed in different eras, which is why in some areas of life it will be difficult for you to come to a consensus.

2. He is not willing to compromise

Maturity automatically implies a formed personality. An adult man is endowed with wisdom and experience, which makes relationships with him more comfortable, stable and calm. Most mature representatives of the stronger sex have established ideas about life that seem to them the only true ones. But if it suddenly turns out that your principles or habits do not coincide with his opinion, it is you who will have to compromise. The difference of views can lie in wait for you in absolutely all areas of life, from household obligations to your freedom. Here one can object, noting that there is no absolute agreement even in pairs between the same age. This is true, but the difference is that younger guys tend to make concessions easier.

3. Excessive jealousy

If you connect your life with an adult man, you will make him an invaluable gift. Dating young girls, older men feel young, happy and self-confident again. Of course, he will be scared to death of losing you. At the same time, a man who is in such a relationship, deep down, understands that at one moment that is not beautiful for him, his chosen one can go to another. This storm of emotions gives rise to a lot of fears and experiences in his soul, which very often transform into unhealthy jealousy.

4. Ex-wife and children from a previous marriage

Most likely, behind your chosen one there is a marriage and children from another woman. And this means that you will never occupy the main place in his life. In addition, you may have to establish contact with his adult children, which often becomes an impossible task. It is possible that the children of your partner will accuse you of mercantile purposes, believing that you have connected your life with their father for the sake of a future inheritance.

5. Mismatch of temperaments

Modern medicine has made a huge breakthrough, however, it is powerless in front of nature. No matter how carefully a man takes care of his health and appearance, he will age faster than you. First of all, this will manifest itself in a mismatch of temperaments, which will have a negative impact on your intimate life. If this does not scare you, and you are ready to control your desire for the sake of love, or you got a very passionate partner, think about the fact that one day you will want to become a mother. It may turn out that the potential father of your child no longer wants or cannot torture himself with such a responsible role.

6. You don't have mutual friends

Perhaps the age difference is not an obstacle to friendship, however, it is unlikely that your chosen one will feel comfortable in your company, as well as you in his. A large age difference creates a mismatch between interests and needs. Be prepared for the fact that when you and your friends want to go to a nightclub or hike, your partner will prefer to relax in the form of fishing or reading a book.

7. Parents are unlikely to approve of your choice.

Couples with a decent age difference have not shocked society for a long time. However, a tolerant attitude towards this issue often ends at the moment when it comes to our loved ones and loved ones. There is a high probability that your parents will not accept your choice, which will result in painful conflicts, quarrels and resentments.

It may seem that these difficulties are an insurmountable barrier to happiness. In fact, age is not always a hindrance to love. History knows a lot of cases when the union between a young girl and an adult man was filled with joy and harmony. Just be prepared for the fact that in such relationships, just like in relationships with peers, crises and conflicts can arise.