We started dating but the relationship is not serious. He doesn't talk about his childhood
People rarely want to get married. People are more likely to want to get married. Of course, we are talking about women. It often happens that a man only invited for a cup of coffee, and the woman has already mentally tried on a wedding dress and figured out the names of future children. When the relationship begins to develop, it seems to her that it is going to the wedding. But how! Why, then, did he invite him on a second date, give flowers, show his bachelor apartment, arrange a love night, notice that the woman forgot her lipstick, and said that she could pick it up in next time? It looks like the man is quite serious intentions. But a month or two or three pass, and relations develop almost according to the same scenario. Panic is slowly creeping up on the woman: is the man really set on a relationship as seriously as she thought of herself? How to recognize the frivolous intentions of a man?
8 signs that a man is not serious about relationships
Sign 1. His life is shrouded in mystery
A man who carefully guards that part of his life that remains outside of your relationship for two to three months should alert you. If he is silent or talks little about his work, parents, relatives, friends, and is painfully worried about your questions about this, most likely he does not want to share his personal space with a woman whom he is not going to let in. A man might like spending time together, sex, intimate conversations, culinary talents, but this does not yet indicate his serious intentions.
Sign 2. Does not introduce people from close circle
In relations with far-reaching plans, a man tries not to delay the "bride". Introducing a woman into the circle of loved ones, he wants to brag about his beloved, get the approval of people who care about him and demonstrate the seriousness of his intentions. If your man is in no hurry to announce to his family and friends about your presence in his life, and he evasively answers your requests to introduce you to his relatives and feeds you with promises, think about it. Perhaps he does this because he is ashamed of your relationship or he has good reason do not advertise what you are in his life. In this case, he is unlikely to have serious views on you.
Sign 3. There is no constancy in the relationship
A man who does not love and is not going to build serious relationship, allows himself to forget to call, may not come on a date or, without much justification, neglect to meet you for the sake of having fun with friends. Any worries that distract your chosen one from you will turn out to be less important, but a higher priority. Can we hope for a speedy strong alliance with someone who uses you as a transit shelter or "alternate airfield"? If a man appears in your life only when it suits him, do not flatter yourself with illusions and do not waste time on him that you can devote to someone who really deserves it.
Sign 4: Not caring or willing to help
The union of two loving people is based on mutual support, help, care. This is the basis for building a full-fledged family. If your beloved man is not interested in your everyday and everyday problems, disappears when you ask him for help and is in no hurry to spend his time on eliminating your difficulties - there is a sign of indifference. His logic is clear: why waste mental, physical and material strength on a woman with whom you have a “transit” or bed relationship? If this has also become obvious to you, break this frivolous connection.
Sign 5. Saves on a woman and does not help financially
Most men realize their importance and need through financial assistance and participation in a woman's life. By virtue of their capabilities, they take responsibility for the financial component of the relationship. If your man in a relationship has taken a position in which - “first we spend your money, and then each of our own”, he never has money for gifts, and, in general, he likes to live at your expense, do not hope that this is temporary, and that when there is a serious relationship, then he will become financially responsible. It won't. He will be with you as long as you have money, or until he finds one that can save more.
Sign 6. Not interested in the opinion of a woman
All men see themselves as independent, not requiring instructions and instructions. Of course, this is how it should be, especially in purely masculine decisions. But even here, men need support and unobtrusive, constructive advice, although the last word always left behind. Household and family matters, cases and problems should be submitted to joint discussion because relationships are two lives in one. If the man with whom you plan to start a family never asks for your opinion, hush up decisions that are important for your relationship, or severely suppress any attempts to express your point of view, do not even think about connecting your life with him. He is completely indifferent to your opinion, and, therefore, you yourself are not of particular value to him.
Sign 7. Shows aloofness and coldness in public
Men are so arranged by nature that they subconsciously consider the woman they love, in a sense, a trophy. Here, they say, look what a clever “hunter” I am, what valuable “prey” I caught in my nets. He will in every possible way demonstrate attention, interest and courtesy, especially in front of people whose opinion is important to him. If your companion is in public places avoids taking your hand, courting or even communicating, it is worth considering what is the justification for ignoring him. Does he love you? Or does he love, but not you, so he is afraid of being exposed? Or maybe he is ashamed of you and your relationship, so he is afraid that others will suspect his serious attitude towards you, which is not and cannot be.
Sign 8. Does not make plans for a joint future and does not talk about children
A serious man with serious intentions will not want to waste his time on a hopeless relationship. He wants to understand early stages relationship, that he is dating exactly the woman who has similar family values, there is a desire to have children and a common future. A man will definitely start such conversations in order to find out for himself these important points. If your chosen one is not something that does not raise this topic, but in every possible way avoids your initiative to understand the prospects, you can be sure that he or you are not interested, or not interested at all, because he has other plans for life.
Have you ever had such a relationship with a man in your life that brought a lot of pain and seemed to not develop, but rather faded away? Which did not inspire, but rather squeezed all the juice out of you? Which just burned your time and at the same time your hopes for a family? If you have experienced this before or are now in such a relationship, then the problem is not necessarily your incompatibility. Perhaps you just met a frivolous man.
I always tell my clients: “Only frivolous relationships can be created with frivolous men!”. In addition, these relationships are very exhausting, devastating, take all the strength, and most importantly - disappoint in men. How to understand that in front of you is a frivolous man? How to save yourself from wasting time and heartache? There are certain criteria by which men can be considered their "frivolity":
1. Eternal childhood. This type of men lives according to the principle “get everything from life”, but at the same time does not want to take for anything. They can have many hobbies that are prioritized leading place, but the creation of a family in this list is almost at the very end. They are frightened by the very concept of “serious relationship”, and waiting for them to make decisions is generally a waste of time. This may also be sissy, who prefer to hide under their mother's skirt no matter the difficulty, and enthusiastic collectors who see collecting stamps as the main meaning of their lives, and eternal travelers, and home gamers. Whatever a man does, know that if he does not want to take responsibility for you, for the family, for making his men's decisions, then he lives according to the principle of "eternal childhood" and you will wait for him to decide to create a family with you for a very long time.
2. Constant lies. Such men always lie, no matter the circumstances. They lie about everything in the world, from information about themselves to cherished words"I love you" or "honestly, I was with friends yesterday." To be in a relationship with such a frivolous man means to “pull out” absolutely all your nerves, hope that he will change, deceive yourself with sweet illusions, then be disappointed again and collect your heart piece by piece. This relationship experience is very traumatic for our female soul. And at the same time, it has no value, since creating a family with such a person will still not work, and even if somehow it did, then you would be doomed to constant suffering.
3. Strong addiction. This type of men, unfortunately, is quite common. Probably women in their majority “screwed up” something in past lives and work off heavy karma with the help of such men. But if you see that a man is addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling or computer games, then it is safe to say that you have a frivolous man in front of you. And it's better to bypass it without spending precious time own life. Read more about it in the article.
Every woman from time to time begins to scroll through the options in her head. wedding dress, possible names of children, home improvement plans and many other points life together with his other half. And she scrolls through it all until she wonders: how serious is her relationship and will it go that far?
Sign 1. Does not introduce relatives, parents
Usually acquaintance with the girl's parents takes place on early stages relations. A family that has a daughter rather than a son is more restless. Mother and father want to know with whom they are adult miracle rides in a car, goes to bars at night, and who brings her home in the morning. In order to avoid additional questions and problems, the man, in turn, introduces himself to his parents. Acquaintance with his relatives often takes place much later.
It is possible to regard as frivolity the fact that he delays acquaintance only when a man great relationship with parents. It is possible to determine this by the stories about joint trips, by conversations and, in general, by the situations taking place in his family.
We do not accidentally draw attention to this. A family in which misunderstanding and quarrels reigns is not a matter of pride. It only means that a man does not want a meeting of his beloved with relatives, because they can spoil the current good impression about him, it is bad to recommend him, does not want to discuss his relationship in the family, is afraid of the scandal of a jealous mother or simply unworthy behavior. Therefore, to begin with, find the reason for the reluctance to meet, and only then suspect of frivolity.
Sign 2. Does not introduce friends
Here is a completely different situation. After all, we do not choose parents and relatives, but friends - yes. A man who is suitable for his companion loves to introduce her to his surroundings. The most important thing is that this acquaintance should not resemble a demonstration in which he boasts of his status rather than the joy of communicating with such a nice person. In a serious relationship, a man wants to introduce his woman only to his inner circle.
Sign 3. Rare meetings
A man who can forget about a meeting rarely calls and appears at your place - he is clearly not serious. After all loving person wants to spend all the free minutes with his soul mate. And the point is not at all in constant employment or suddenly arising cases. As a rule, those who make a big mistake in previous partner. This is just a salvation from loneliness, which is necessary in moments when there are no friends around. It is a choice between them and you, in favor of the former.
Sign 4. Does not come to the rescue in difficult times
A frivolous relationship has a huge minus - the lack of responsibility for one's actions between a man and a woman, absolute freedom thoughts and actions. Such relationships are often called friendship with bed elements. However, this "friendship" implies help, mutual assistance and respect. Their difference from a serious relationship is the lack of plans for the future, the prospect of creating a family. And if your partner does not want to help in a pipe minute, then is such a person needed in your environment at all? What kind of relationship with him can we talk about.
Sign 5. Does not talk about plans for the future, about children
If a man does not talk about the future or about children, this does not mean at all that he is not serious. There is a category of men who do not want to build far-reaching plans in order not to jinx it. And there's nothing to be done about it. But when, when talking about children or marriage, he becomes irritable, harmful and picky - sure sign the fact that quite a bit of time will pass and your communication will completely stop, because there is no development in the relationship right now. They stand still.
However, it should be taken into account that sharp reaction in a conversation about children, maybe even when a man already has one child from another woman, and he does not want a second one. As well as the absence physical ability to have them. It after all generates complexes.
The Stylemania portal took an exclusive comment from the soloists of the Assorti group Anna Alina and Maria Zaitseva. We asked the girls a few questions.
- In your opinion, how to determine whether a man is serious about a woman or not?
Anna Alina:
I can always see it. For me, this is, first of all, the actions of a man. Words are not always true. You can say whatever you want, but act completely differently.
Maria Zaitseva:
It seems to me that the desire to have children from this woman and a marriage proposal is a serious attitude. What could possibly be more serious in life?
- What is the frivolous attitude towards the chosen one?
Anna Alina:
Consumer attitude, I guess. You know, after all, you can kind of want to see, but not be interested in a person, but just for a pastime, meet him. This is especially evident when he asks to meet only at a convenient time for him. And another lack of attention, or when they have been dating for a long time, but he does not introduce friends. And one more extreme, when they suddenly start right off the bat. Immediately from the second date of the promise eternal love pouring, as from a cornucopia, a marriage proposal. This always worries me.
Maria Zaitseva:
For me, frivolity is when a man sees a woman only when it suits him and uses her only as a sexual object.
- Do you think that the protracted acquaintance with his parents and close friends is an indicator of a frivolous relationship?
Anna Alina:
Yes. Certainly. This immediately suggests that he is either shy, or he has another. In general, something is clearly not right!
Maria Zaitseva:
I think it's impossible. Parents and relatives are different. And sometimes people just don't want to introduce them to their other half...
- What if it suddenly turns out that a man just played in a relationship, but did not live by them? Cry day and night into a pillow, drink sedatives, or, conversely, get into a whirlpool of fun and joy in order to forget. Or maybe rush in search of an honest man?
Anna Alina:
You just need to move on! After all, there are many different situations in life. But everything passes, it must be remembered.
Maria Zaitseva:
I know one thing for myself - to become a rag for a man and an object of use is simply terrible. I do not condemn those who do this, but personally for myself I consider this unacceptable.
In any case, if your relationship fits one of the signs, you should not make a scandal for a man. Sometimes even the most frivolous relationships develop into deep feelings. It’s better than swearing love to the grave on the second day, jumping out to get married on the third, and realizing on the fourth that you are completely unsuitable for each other and disperse.
Speech is what betrays men in the first place. They know how to lie, they are able to come up with a legend and never make a mistake on the mismatch of small details, but it is ordinary, daily conversations that give them away. He will, of course, use the pronoun "we" because it is indispensable, but it will always be said about the near future: "Are we going to the cinema tomorrow? Or how?" But not: “When we go to the sea, we ...” There is no “we” in conjunction with “when”. Because never.
He doesn't talk about his childhood
Because it is, firstly, too intimate. And, secondly, any hint of a children's theme is a taboo for him. Just because he doesn't plan on having any children with you, which means there's no point in giving you food for thought on the subject at all. And if you ask - and you will ask, because you yourself probably already told him something about your childhood - he will answer that childhood was the most ordinary and there is nothing to remember at all. Can you imagine a boy who spent his childhood in such a way that there is nothing to remember about them? Here we are not.
He does not forget his things with you and returns yours to you.
There are two versions of the reasons for this behavior, and neither is better. Both are worse. First, we, like animals, "mark the territory", leaving little things that are associated with our presence. And the fact is that if your "marks" do not make a man nervous, then he very quickly ceases to notice them. That is, he sees your lipstick on the shelf in the bathroom, perhaps it even annoys him, because it comes to hand, but it would not occur to him to take a tube and carry it in his pocket until the next meeting. Simply because he will forget to either take it or give it away. If he remembers this, then "the case is a pipe." The second option is absolutely logical, without any reference to our instincts: forgotten things are an excuse for an extra meeting that he does not need.
He doesn't ask you serious questions
Not the slightest hint of talking “for life”: he is not interested in your family, your hobbies, your friends and your experiences. He only talks about what's going on in this moment with both of you. He can discuss with you the movie you just watched, but he will never ask who your favorite director is and why. If you yourself start a conversation about what is bothering you, he will support it in exactly the way so as not to be involved in the problem. That is, he will sympathize, but will not offer help.
He doesn't help you "like a man"
Whether we like it or not, some small household chores are still divided into typically feminine and typically masculine. This system works, and we turn to it daily: if you need help in preparing a festive dinner, you will most likely call a friend, and if your tap suddenly broke or another gadget collapsed, you will most likely ask a man for help . So, this man will refuse you. He will refuse with a completely logical wording: he does not understand anything about this, let the professionals do their job. But a man who is in the mood for a serious relationship wants to show his young lady that you can rely on him in everything, even if his hands do not grow from where they are supposed to. Therefore, he will take a tool and pick the unfortunate pipe until one of them breaks: either he or the pipe. A man who does not have serious intentions does not care about all these “marriage games”. He is not going to prove to you that he is the coolest and most reliable male here.
He gives you gifts that you can give any other girl
Flowers, candy, spooky makeup baskets. Everything that can be given to any girl at any time. It doesn't have the slightest interest in your personality, really. It is clear that at the beginning of a relationship it is hard to guess what will delight you, because we girls are very different: give one a pendant with an emerald, and the other a certificate for a parachute jump. But a man in love is able to remember the name of your favorite author, the brand of your favorite perfume, or at least your taste preferences. But it's in love. And this one is not. This one will bring milk chocolate and roses. Because it will do.
He is always busy
Always. There has never been a case that you called, and he did not turn off the conversation, citing urgent business. He never answers SMS and messages on social networks immediately, he does not pick up the phone, although you know that right now he got into a taxi and he has absolutely nothing to do there. Then he will apologize, tell that he could not answer in any way, forgot to turn on the sound, or something else happened to him. But in fact, he just teaches you that it is he who will decide when you communicate. One day, you'll just lose the habit of calling him yourself. And on another fine day, he will not call himself - well, that's all, in fact. Like there was nothing.
He doesn't introduce you to his family
With friends, please. It may very well be that, literally after the second date, he invited you to his birthday best friend. You should not flatter yourself: some men still perceive a woman as a trophy, they are not averse to showing off her to their friends. Main indicator– family: if you don’t know anything about his loved ones and he’s not going to introduce them – well, you understand.
