It is interesting that so rarely receive letters. Psychologists called phrases that signal that a man has stopped loving you

I meet a young man and love him very much. But it hurts me because - we rarely see each other, because he is busy, although at the moment he does not work, but is exclusively engaged in household chores - when I propose to meet first, he often refuses because of this busyness or says "maybe how it will turn out" - often late for meetings with me for 5-15 minutes, sometimes even for half an hour. When I wait for him, I feel humiliated.

I am afraid of rejection and I feel unnecessary to him, although he says that he loves me. He rarely calls, we only communicate by sms. I myself call, but after that I feel humiliated and unnecessary. I feel like I'm being forced.

I'm jealous of the past he told me about.

I want to get over these negative feelings and move on. But it doesn't work.

Psychologists answer:

Problem area:

Relations between a man and a woman

Comments

We meet very rarely

Guest - 28.10.2008 - 23:31

Hello! I have such a story.
I am 18 years old, I am dating a young man who is 1.7 years younger than me. At first we were friends for a long time, then our relationship grew into closer ones. We have been together for a year and 2 months. The relationship is the first and so long for both me and him. I love him very much. At first everything was fine. Now the problems have begun. I know that many problems are because of me, I am too emotional and prone to every minute desires. we rarely see each other ... once, well, 2 in 2 weeks .... sometimes we don’t see each other for 2 weeks at all ... he motivates this by being busy, but nevertheless he finds time to meet friends. All sorts of thoughts come into my head lost interest? I don’t know .. I take everything very close to my heart ... when we meet, he is very gentle, kind, affectionate, attentive ... and there is no reason to think otherwise, but still our meetings are very rare , I feel that I live right by him .. I can’t live without him for a minute ... I even began to write poetry ... and he ... used to be like that, but when he sought me ... and now .. no longer .... and I don’t know what to do ... is it possible to fix something? I understand that pushing is not a reason .... I'm sure..he sometimes screams and refuses to answer..and sometimes he says yes....he has sudden mood swings....but I still don't understand why he can't find time for me?does this mean that our relationship can not be restored?
Thanks in advance for your advice.

So rarely we speak words of love.. So we rarely speak words of love,
Indistinct seething in the blood,
From eternity we all pass into eternity
How quickly goodness is forgotten
And for a long time we remember all our grievances,
In the absence of which it was not lived,
Fate with the iron elbow of Artemis
We want to forget any pain
Do not remember the past loss,
But we all play our part again
And foreheads are beating in locked doors
They want to get along storm and peace
In the soul, and echoes of aspirations,
Everyone is walking, fussing, my God!
Among reproaches, evil, moralizing
We rarely speak words of love
So often we forget the transience,
We are strange, well, whatever you say,
Behind this darkness is infinity

They quarreled, as if they did not know that evil words cannot be taken and forgotten. They didn’t know that people swear to the fullest, but put up halfway, and so every time they are cut off from love, and it becomes less and less.

For as in the gloomy darkness children tremble and are frightened,
Likewise, in broad daylight we often fear
Those things that you no longer need to be afraid of,
Than what children in the dark are waiting for and afraid of.

Perhaps because we rarely listen to our inner voice, so few miracles happen to us.

We lose weight from love
due to loss of head
and soar into the sky,
from where we fall, alas.

"I have no time" - we constantly say. There is no time to call, write, see those who are waiting, we are always busy, in a hurry somewhere ...
"Good" - Time answers and leaves... Often forever...

Everything will not be as we decide. Everything will be when we decide.

We talk too much, love too little, and hate too often.

We say so many necessary words to unnecessary people...

You are far from me today
And you write about your bottomless love
And about longing, a sleepless lovebird,
Exactly the same as what I write.

Oh, how often we hear conversations
That happiness cannot be saved without separation.
If there were no separations, there would be no meetings,
And there would only be disputes and strife.

Of course, this is wise, it can happen.
And yet, I don't know why
I want, against all odds,
Tell you: - Let's not be separated!

I think that you will understand me:
Shoulder to shoulder - and no longing, no cold!
And if we quarrel - well, well,
Separation is still much worse!

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Psychologists are convinced that there are certain patterns of behavior that indicate that your relationship has reached an impasse or was not serious from the beginning. In addition, scientists identify individual phrases or language constructs that can destroy relationships or signal that a partner has stopped loving you.

website compiled a list of phrases that a man in love will never say to his soulmate.

1. "I don't have to answer to you"

Loving people do not take with hostility every request to tell about something in more detail.

2. "It's not my problem" or "It's your problem"

Such phrases are an indicator that the gap is only a matter of time. If a man is not bothered by your problems, even when you frankly ask for his help, then he probably has cooled down to you.

A loving person will find time and opportunity to help, even if it will cause him some inconvenience.

3. “If something doesn’t suit you, find another”

With this phrase, a man is trying to manipulate you. He does not want to change and sincerely believes that you should come to terms with all his shortcomings. And if you don't like something - good riddance.

A loving person in most cases is ready to compromise, is not so harsh in his statements and respects the opinion of his partner.

4. "I still don't believe you"

Such a phrase is often uttered by insecure or, conversely, despotic people. They demand your excuses even in situations where you, in general, are not to blame for anything. Most likely, in this way a person is simply looking for a reason to quarrel or to part.

Loving people usually listen and hear each other.

5. "Do what you want"

This phrase speaks of the indifference and detachment of a man. He does not care how you are doing, what you will do in a difficult situation, how it will eventually be resolved. In all matters that do not directly concern him, the man invites you to do as you wish.

A loving person will show participation and help with the choice. He will not leave you at a crossroads even in a minor domestic problem. Although, perhaps, it is not worth dumping on him the decision of every little thing.

6. "You're winding yourself up"

Men usually say this phrase when they are trying to convict them of something. And there is indeed a chance that you have been making up nonsense and are now winding yourself up.

In such a situation, you should pull yourself together, think it over well and calmly explain what is bothering you. But the phrase "You wind yourself up" is not the answer. Ask the man to voice his point of view. If he returns to this phrase again, think about it: he probably has cooled off towards you for a long time.

7. "I really love you"

You say, “What nonsense? He says he loves me!” But in this case, the “really” enhancer is usually used in situations where the partner has done something wrong and is trying to prove that he still loves you. This phrase can be used as an excuse, an explanation for your nasty behavior.

If a person uses phrases from this list several times a day, and then declares that he still “really” loves you, most likely this is not so. The man is probably trying to manipulate your feelings.

If you don’t encounter the points from the article in a relationship at all or encounter very rarely, you have no reason to doubt the sincerity of the phrase “I love you.”

Sometimes we can hear such words from irritated, upset or offended partners. But, if a man has feelings for you, he will try never to say them.

And what phrases do you consider to be indicators that the partner has fallen out of love?

During this year sometimes
less than once a month, I get
mail impersonal offers
“it would be nice to see you”, “it is necessary
would like to meet", "would like
to talk" and other "you can
would ".
I will never stop
thank the one who gave me
it's tender, almost painful
sense of language (compensation for
lack of musical ear
maybe). Because sometimes I
I'm getting weaker. But it's as sharp as
the edge of the glass, says: “This
does not mean anything. It has
meaning only "I want you
see" or "I want you"
spoken out loud, or "I want
to be with you“, or you never know
which is of some importance
(we do not rule out
temporary loss of sanity
under the influence of passion or even
just a lie). But just not
these indecisive
helpless, cowardly
phrases that
mean one thing:
"If you want, then
you can take over
responsibility and
take care of me
my terms, rake in
hallway."

What difference does it make who is stronger, who is smarter, who is more beautiful, who is richer? After all, in the end, it only matters whether you are a happy person or not?

When I fight someone, I want to take his will. I want to take his courage. I want to rip out his heart and show him what it looks like.

Just so you know, I'm a psycho. But I'm not as crazy as you think. I may want to fuck in a completely crazy place, but I don't want to kill, rape or maim anyone.

If I could meet God, I would thank him for giving me such a mother.

Everyone who has even a small share of the mind knows that if I hit my wife, I would simply tear off her head. It's all lies. I never lifted a finger to her.

Music and books are where I go to get lost in their world, or find myself if I'm lost in mine.

I don't know anyone who doesn't feel lonely in one way or another.

Don't talk to me about your spirituality, mate. I'm not that interested... Please don't talk to me about "pure awareness" or "living in the absolute."
I want to see how you feel about your partner. To your children, to your parents, to your precious body.
Please don't lecture me about the illusion of a separate "I" or how you achieved permanent bliss in just 7 days. I want to feel genuine warmth emanating from your heart. I want to hear how well you can listen. Accept information that doesn't fit with your personal philosophy. I want to see how you communicate with people who disagree with you.
Don't tell me that you are awake and free of ego. I want to know you beyond words. I want to know how you feel when misfortune overtakes you. If you can completely immerse yourself in pain and not pretend to be invulnerable. If you feel your anger, but do not go into violence. If you can calmly allow the experience of your grief without becoming a slave to it. If you can feel your shame, and not shame others. If you can screw up and admit it. If you can say sorry and really mean it. If you can be fully human in your glorious divinity.
Don't talk to me about your spirituality, mate. It's not that interesting to me. I just want to meet YOU. Know your precious heart. Understand the beautiful man fighting for the light.
Until the words "about the spiritual man." To all skillful words.

Three ladies, three writers, known to a wide and not very circle of readers, where two are closest and most familiar to me: the famous detective A. Christie, and her old lady Miss Marple for my reader's taste is a more impressive person than Poirot. And Mitchell with her Scarlet and Butler, whose history has been read "to holes" in book volumes. As for the phrase, in "Gone with the Wind" the main idea is "I'll think about it tomorrow", and Agatha Christie has solid puzzles, where solutions and thoughts are like a mosaic. Therefore, answering mnogo.ru, I chose Wulf and made the right decision. Plus 5, and the account was replenished again. But I liked the idea of ​​the writer, because trying it on modern computer mail, and our expectations related to correspondence, you really understand that behind a bunch of spam you can never wait for the main letter... the expected letter was not lost in them when it arrived. And it will definitely come!


We get acquainted with interesting, philosophically oriented aphorisms:

  • And then in the continuation it is said that the cat will no longer sit on a cold stove.

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