What does the expression swedish family mean. Swedish family - depravity or trust

There is such an almost fabulous country in the world. Where capitalism coexists with socialism, the Scandinavians with the Arabs, and the Lutherans with the Orthodox.

• The Kingdom of Sweden is located on the Scandinavian Peninsula, in the north of the European continent. Formally, the King rules the country, in fact the Prime Minister, who is elected by the Parliament (Riksdag).
• The name of the country came from a combination of two Old Norse words Svea and Rige, which means "country of the Svei".
• The capital of the country with a constitutional monarchy is the ancient city of Stockholm.
• In 1995 Sweden joined the European Union.
• Most residents live in communes of up to 2,000 people.
• The Swedes are considered the main nation of the Scandinavian Peninsula. In addition to the titular nation, the Saami, Finns and other nationalities live in the Kingdom.
• A big problem for Sweden has become an endless stream of immigrants. Every eighth resident of the state is an immigrant. Currently, obtaining a residence permit is very difficult. There are significant limitations.
• The country can rightfully be considered multicultural. The Swedish government is trying to achieve harmony and equality among different groups of the population.
• The bulk of immigrants live in Stockholm, Gothenburg and Malmö.
• The official language of the state is Swedish. For the most part, the population of the Kingdom is also fluent in English. The country even has television channels broadcasting in English.
• The languages ​​of national minorities are also developing: Sami, Meänkieli, Finnish, Gypsy and Yiddish.
• The bulk of the country's believers belong to the Lutheran Church, which is separated from the state. Orthodox churches, Muslim mosques and synagogues also operate in Sweden.

Swedish families

It is interesting that the origin of most Swedish surnames, in one way or another, is connected with the natural theme. A child at birth receives the name of the mother, not the father.
Women in love independence, and men are silent and resolute. Equality and decency reign in Swedish families. Parents in such families are very caring and attentive to their children.
At the first acquaintance with the Swedes, one gets the impression of isolation and taciturnity of these people. But, this is only at first glance. In a friendly company, among familiar people, they open up in a completely different way, become friendly, hospitable and cheerful. How can they not have fun, Sweden is one of the few countries in the world where there is "socialism with a human face." The Swedes managed to unite the collective and individual principles in man, and the whole state benefited from this association. The population lives in a classless society. Despite the fact that Sweden is a fairly rich country, its workers pay very high taxes to the treasury. And boasting of your wealth is not held in high esteem here. The Swedes are modest and reserved. In families, as a rule, both husband and wife work. Otherwise it is very difficult to survive. The upbringing of children by Swedish mothers goes hand in hand with professional activities. This is a pretty emancipated country.

It is not necessary to officially register a marriage in Sweden, even if a child appears in the family. Such "informal" families have all the rights and enjoy all the usual benefits as registered families.
Education in Sweden is free.

Family traditions in Sweden

Sweden cherishes and honors national traditions. And all the holidays, as a rule, are associated with the preparation of delicious food. There are also extraordinary holidays, such as Cinnamon Bun Day or Almond Paste Season. It's impossible not to love it.
If you are going to visit a Swedish family, then in no case be late. They don't like it. Give flowers to the hostess, and a bottle of good vodka to the owner. At the table, sit down only in the place indicated to you, which you will find on the name card on the table. If you did not come alone, then be prepared for the fact that you may not be seated nearby. Swedes, like Russians, love toasting, so you can prepare a couple of original toasts. Leaving on time doesn't hurt either.

Leisure in Swedish

Officially, any Swedish worker has five weeks of vacation per year, plus days off and holidays. This time they devote to outdoor recreation. They go to the forest for a picnic, go fishing or pick mushrooms and berries. In the Swedish forests, special paths have been laid for tourists, on which there are houses where you can warm up and have a bite to eat. Even the King of Sweden is a big fan of hiking.

You can also relax on the islands, in the fiords, not far from Stockholm. These islands are generally uninhabited. Real fishermen go there to indulge in solitude and think about the future while fishing. In these waters, you can catch not only fish, but also shrimps, crabs and crayfish.
The Swedes are very careful about their nature and always carefully clean up after themselves.

A cozy country, kind people, beautiful nature - this is what it is worth visiting this fabulous Kingdom of Sweden at least once in your life.

For the youth of the USSR, the concept of "Swedish family" has become synonymous with licentiousness and self-will, personifying the ideals of the sexual revolution that has come to our country belatedly.

What it is?

In fact, the Swedish family is not a cohabitation of two people, as in the traditional "cell of society", but more. For example, it can be 3 people (most often) or two united married couples.

Benefits of a Swedish family

First of all, it is, of course, the material aspect. Indeed, in a family, say, three working people, the total profit is much greater, and therefore a lot more prospects and opportunities open up for an unconventional family. One of the biggest advantages that the Swedish family has is that it can be quite strong. At least because there is no particular point in going “to the left” - the sexual life of all family members is already quite diverse and rich. In a traditional family, husband and wife often abandon their former friends, plunging into everyday life. This is not too correct, because understanding and friendship are of great importance in a person's life. The Swedish one is devoid of this shortcoming - each of the trio even at home receives a considerable portion of simple human communication. If a Swedish family consists of a man and two girls, they can help improve the demographic situation in the state. Statistics show that at the moment there are almost 2.5 times fewer men in the population than women! In the conditions of a Swedish family, you can give birth and raise 2 times more children. And, of course, by joining forces, the members of such a cell can overcome any life crises and difficulties much easier and more painlessly.

What problems can arise in the life of a Swedish family?

The very first and banal one is the jealousy of one of the trio. As they say, there is always a “beloved wife” (or “beloved husband”), therefore, in 90% of cases, conflict and the collapse of the family cannot be avoided. However, there are exceptions to this rule. Usually Swedish families are forced to face condemnation from the rest of society. Relatives, friends, acquaintances, religion and the Church - it is almost impossible to wait for their support. The big disadvantage is that it is impossible to formalize such relations officially. It would seem that this is bad? In "peaceful" time - really, no. But in the case of "divorces", when there is a need for a fair division of property and the solution of other equally important issues, there will be just a huge number of problems. Many members of Swedish families admit that it was quite difficult for them to come to terms with the birth of a child from one of the partners. On top of that, it is very important to be sensitive to the issues of raising children - they should not think that the "Swedish" family format is the only true one. The task of parents in this case is to educate a full-fledged personality capable of independently making decisions and making choices. Creating a Swedish family requires great responsibility and self-awareness of absolutely all participants. Despite the fact that it is a symbol of freedom and permissiveness, you need to invest in such a relationship twice as much.

Somewhere, having heard the phrase "Swedish family", associations with traditional parents and a couple of blond children rarely arise. Most often, such a term is used as a description of several (usually three, but always more than two) sexual partners living under the same roof. So, what is the "Swedish family" really and where did the name come from?

Main version

The emancipation of the Swedes is known in many countries and mainly due to the fact that since 1955 compulsory sexual education has been introduced in their schools. Nowhere else in the world did this even occur when the inhabitants of northern Europe decided to teach their children the wisdom of carnal pleasures. Of course, if you look at the modern Swedish family in reality, you will never say that it can evoke such associations.

In Sweden, families traditionally consist of two parents of different sexes and children, and such comparisons even annoy many, or at least

conjectures

In fact, the concept of "Swedish family" (what it means is known to almost everyone) has many variants of appearance. Among the guesses of ordinary people, the version with the attribution of lovers to the family is most often found, because often women who are dissatisfied with the financial situation of their official husband resort to the financial assistance of another man. A similar situation can develop on the other hand, when a wealthy man is able to support several women and, in general, uses this.

Most often, such situations arise among celebrities and legal spouses are often aware of the love affairs of their “believers”.

Real option

In fact, one cannot say about the Swedish family as an unconventional or overly liberated unit of society. The reason for the appearance in the life of one of the spouses of a new partner is the banal lack of money for the legal dissolution of the marriage. The fact is that in Sweden this process is very expensive and most citizens simply do not marry or, if necessary, leave, remain married to one partner, and in fact cohabit with another.

In such situations, it is important for both parents to respect the rights of the child, so children are not divided there, as is customary in our country, for example. The child lives alternately with each parent and all of them are obliged to communicate well so as not to injure him. That is, a divorced Swedish family (what it really is now clear) is forced to play the role of full-fledged parents and communicate well with the new family of each spouse. For many citizens, this is at least strange, which reinforces the rumors that the Swedes are not traditional.

First representatives

The expression "Swedish family" originates from the 70s, when the youth of this particular country began to oppose traditional families, and openly cohabit with several sexual partners. Interestingly, by that time such “triangles” were not an innovation, and the first officially registered case of such cohabitation occurred in Spain at the end of the 18th century.

At that time, this case was simply outrageous, because in a Catholic conservative country such behavior was unacceptable and all participants in the “triangle” could be executed if they were not the ruling dynasty. Yes, yes, the king and queen took the young guardsman into their arms, who later was awarded a bunch of titles. One of them was even invented especially for him - the Prince of the World. Apparently, the prince had the strength and imagination to please both spouses with his presence for such a long time.

Of course, the guardsman was not seen in direct contact with the king, but the ruler himself spoke of him very tenderly and affectionately.

The appearance of the term in Russia

For the first time the concept of "Swedish family" in Russia was mentioned back in the 70s of the last century. It was then that foreign artists, films and magazines began to make their way into the expanses of the USSR closed from the outside world. Just at that time, in Sweden itself, the so-called communes were popular, consisting of several sexual partners of representatives of the "leftist" youth. At the same time, in the vastness of the Soviet state, free-form magazines and films became widespread, which reinforced the myth of the sexual emancipation of the Swedes and the widespread distribution of such non-traditional families in Europe.

At that time, popular artists who, in their understanding, were also representatives of the "Swedish family" were able to strengthen the association at that time. Everyone already knew what it was, because they sang beautiful songs about love and consisted of two loving married couples. Yes, everything is true, only these couples still changed partners once, so it’s impossible to call them true conservatives.

Conclusion

Today, almost everyone knows the answer to the question of what a “Swedish family” is, only this information is based on stereotypes and associations of past years. Now the bulk of the inhabitants of this European country is no different from their conservative neighbors, and such communes are found in isolated cases. By the way, today you can meet them in almost every country.

The very concept of a "Swedish family" is a symbol of permissiveness, not only in our country. In almost every state there is a certain expression meaning inappropriate behavior with a reference to Sweden. So in the UK, the cohabitation of several sexual partners (necessarily more than two) is called the "Swedish sin", and such a family is perceived as a symbol of debauchery.

Once in power, the Soviets began to reshape the life of the Soviet people. The changes affected all aspects of human life, including lynch life. Evgeny Zamyatin in the dystopia "We" described intimate relationships as the only side of a person's life that was hidden. In the 1920s of the USSR, on the contrary, it was the most discussed and open question.

"Riot of Sensuality"

It is generally accepted that the sex revolution took place in the 60s of the last century, and this is due to the hippie movement and the main slogan (sex, drugs and rock-n-roll). In fact, a real revolution in intersexual relations took place in the 20s, at the state level. Lenin recognized that the "rebellion of sensuality" is a necessary component for the image of a new, Soviet man. Questions of an intimate nature were brought up for discussion by the RSDLP party even before 1917. At the third congress, Lenin instructed Trotsky to study and develop a theory of the relationship between a man and a woman. Moreover, back in 1904, Lenin wrote that "the liberation of the spirit of sensuality ... will help throw out a bunch of energy for the victory of socialism." The Soviet leader was not going to suppress human needs for affection, but to build a healthy socialist society on their basis.
The Austrian psychologist Wilhelm Reich in his work cited an excerpt from the correspondence on this issue between Trotsky and Lenin in 1911. Trotsky, as the ideologist of new intimate relationships, writes: “love oppression is the main means of enslaving a person. As long as they are oppressed, there can be no talk of freedom. The family, as an institution, has become obsolete” Lenin echoes “…not only the family. All prohibitions on matters of an intimate nature must be lifted. It is worth applying the experience of suffragettes, and allowing same-sex love as well.”

Decree on privacy

The intimate decrees of the Bolsheviks offered more freedom than can be imagined. In the group of decrees “on civil marriage, on children and on entering into acts of civil status”, “on the abolition of marriage”, there was a decree “on the abolition of punishment for the relationship of a man with a man”. These decrees gave the woman the possibility of "material and intimate self-determination." According to the decrees, an intimate (marriage) union was easily concluded and easily terminated.
The Institute of Social Hygiene appeared, headed by Grigory Batkis. In 1919, Batkis reported that “marriage, love relationships have become a personal matter. The number of intimate perversions due to the emancipation of morals has become less. Just at this time, a theory appeared about simply getting what you want, “like a glass of water.”
The emancipation situation was surprising to many. H. G. Wells noted that “too simply” in the USSR they relate to issues of an intimate nature.

A country with a resolved sexual issue

In December 1918, a demonstration was held in Petrograd in honor of the decree "On the abolition of marriage." In honor of this, lesbians with posters "Down with shame" walked along the central streets of the city. Lenin was positive: keep it up, comrades! In the same year, 1918, there was another parade with posters "Down with shame!", When both men and women walked through the streets of the city without clothes and underwear.
In Moscow in 1924-1925 there was a movement of radical nudists "Down with shame!" The main idea of ​​the participants in the movement was equality on the basis of nudity, because as long as there are clothes, there will be an unspoken division of people according to the level of wealth and opportunities. Members of the movement walked around Moscow naked, they had only a ribbon “Down with shame!”.
Historians link the emergence of this movement as a logical continuation of the moral decay of the Soviet people. Following the freedom of intimate relationships, the permission of abortion, communes, this was the next step in the intimate freedom of the individual.
In December 1925, at the 14th Congress of the All-Union Communist Party of Bolsheviks, Bukharin criticized the nudist movement. After that, the police began to stop Muscovites from being naked.

sex education

Relationships have changed not only between a man and a woman. Now marriage has also become a personal matter for everyone. Married and divorced freely. If the marriage broke up, then alimony was paid only for six months.
Alexandra Kollontai worked hard on the Marriage Code. She wrote that it is necessary to pay attention to the intimate education of schoolchildren, it is worth starting at the age of 12-13, at the beginning of puberty. If this is not done, that early pregnancy, disappointment in intimate relationships is guaranteed.
The Bolsheviks listened to Kollontai, and launched a large-scale campaign to eradicate ignorance in the sexual issue among schoolchildren. But if in big cities discussions on intimate topics were met more or less freely, then in the Russian outback it was difficult to deal with inertia of thinking. In addition, there were few teachers of intimate relationships. Therefore, from 1919 to 1925, about 300 specialists from European countries were brought to the USSR. The teachers were delighted: so much work, what space! How much freedom! By the way, the USSR was one of the first countries to officially recognize the works of Sigmund Freud.
There were many seminars on intimate topics, people freely discussed the questions “how natural is the intimacy of a child?”
As expected, there was a high increase in the number of children born out of wedlock. In 1923, more than half of the children were illegitimate, as they were born in the context of "civil marriage".
The topic of abortion was also discussed freely, because it liberated the woman. The production of condoms increased, new contraceptives were created, pills for fertilizing a woman, to increase the intimate strength of men.
Of course, distortions in intimate education sometimes happened. For example, in Vologda there was such a provision: “every Komsomol member, worker's faculty or other student who received an offer from a Komsomol member or a worker's faculty member to enter into sexual relations must comply with it. Otherwise, she does not deserve the title of a proletarian student.”

In our understanding, the Swedish family is a group of persons, both male and female, who live in large numbers in the same territory. It turns out that this is a Soviet "invention".
It was believed that marriage is a relic of the past, and the Komsomol family is the image of the family of the future. Voluntarily in such a Soviet "Swedish family" lived 10, 12 people, both men and women. Together they kept house, ate, washed, cooked, cleaned and indulged in intimate pleasures. Unlike the Swedish family, in Soviet communes, children are an undesirable element, because upbringing took time, and Soviet people built communism. If the “incident” happened, then the child was sent to the boarding school for education. Gradually the idea of ​​the sexual commune spread throughout the union.
The Bolshevo settlement was considered a sample of the commune. It was created by order of Dzerzhinsky in 1924. About a thousand criminals from 12 to 18 years old lived in the settlement, the ratio of girls and boys was uneven. Girls and boys lived in common barracks, "joint sexual experiences" were encouraged. The commune in Bolshevo is still the largest example of a "Swedish" family in history.

The end of the revolution

With the advent of Stalin to power, everything changed, including the attitude to the intimate issue. Industrialization required full concentration, without wasting energy on love affairs and raising children. Therefore, “sensuality” began to be condemned at the level of authorities, the family again became the basis of society, and monogamous feelings were no longer rejected.
Since the state again took over the personal life of a Soviet person, new decrees “fell down” to replace the old ones. First, the decree “on the abolition of marriage” was canceled, then abortion was banned at the legislative level in 1934. Later, Kalinin signed a decree banning intimate relationships between men. And, of course, there were arrests of minorities in the USSR.
Intimate education programs were discontinued, for many years the condemnation of free mores "returned to the scene".

I grew up in a strict church family, my father held a very high position in the Swedish church, we moved a lot. Until the age of nineteen, I was unaware of my homosexuality. At seventeen or eighteen I had first one boyfriend, then another. Not that I was delighted with these relationships, but I didn’t particularly stare at the girls either. In general, I was sure that I was straight.

About meeting his wife

I met my future wife in college, on a literary course. I liked her right away. Although she had a boyfriend, and I was free. But some kind of chemistry between us arose immediately. I did not dare to take the first step, because I did not want to interfere in their relationship. I soon realized that she liked me too. After our first kiss, she left her boyfriend and we started dating. For the first six months we lived separately, and then, when we entered the university, we decided to move in together. Then I decided to confess to my parents and older sisters that I was a lesbian. The sisters were not shocked by the news, although, of course, they were surprised. My parents, oddly enough, supported me, they said that they would love me for who I am. This touched me very much, although we are not very close with them. After this conversation, they no longer returned to this topic. It seems to me that this still causes some embarrassment for them, although they immediately treated my future wife with sympathy.

Benefit for housing
we got full size like
and heterosexual couples

About living together

We started living together in a small university town in the south of Sweden. In general, neither in Stockholm, where we moved later, nor in small towns where I happened to live, I did not feel a lack of tolerance. Although misunderstandings happen often. For example, according to Swedish law, a young couple living together (this is called sambo. - Approx. ed.) Can receive financial assistance for renting or buying a home. Since my girlfriend and I already officially lived together and were registered at the same address, we applied for this subsidy. I got a call from the lady from the social department and said that since we are friends, we are entitled to a smaller subsidy. I objected that we are not friends and are in a romantic relationship. The lady hesitated a little, and then said: "I understand, okay" . We received full housing allowance, as did heterosexual couples. We registered the “Partnership” in 1999, then it was still called that. But already in 2001, when the parliament equated gay marriages with heterosexual marriages, we filed a new application, and our partnership received the status of a marriage. Then my wife took my last name. We thought it would make things easier, but we had to clarify everywhere that we were not sisters. Especially since I have a rare surname.

About the birth of children

When we got married, we had a small wedding, invited close relatives and a few friends to it. Everything went modestly, but I consider this day one of the happiest in my life. Already at the beginning of our relationship, we knew that we wanted to have children. In Sweden, according to my observations, they made some kind of cult out of it. If you get married - it doesn't matter if it's a same-sex marriage or a different-sex marriage - everyone around is interested in when you are going to have children. And if there is already one child in the family, everyone starts pestering you with the question of when you will give birth to the second. At first, we did not know how to do this, because we did not consider the option of traditional insemination, that is, sex with a man. Both my wife and I wanted to have a child.

We went to a consultation with RFSL (a very influential Swedish LGBT organization that provides assistance to LGBT people. - Approx. Ed.) And found out that you can get pregnant in an alternative way. We were given pamphlets on how to do it properly and hygienically. It was necessary to solve the issue of sperm donation. Just to find a donor - this option did not suit us very much. We wanted biological fathers, preferably a gay couple, to also be interested in children and would like to raise them together . The internet wasn't as common back then, and we opted for the old-fashioned way - we advertised in a major LGBT newspaper. Several men responded to it, we chose Tommy and Mikaele. We liked them: like us, they were in a strong marriage. To get to know them better, we went on a ferry cruise together for a couple of days. At our request, they passed the necessary tests.

I think that my fathers and I were lucky: despite the fact that now they, like us, are divorced (we divorced after 14 years of marriage, they - after 17 years), Tommy and Mikaele are on an equal footing with us in raising children. After we met, we decided that I was having a baby with Mikke, and my wife with Tommy, and I would be the first to have a baby. I had a wonderful boy, two years later my wife gave birth to a girl from Tommy.

We wanted so that biological fathers are preferably
gay couple, were also interested in children and would like them educate together

About double divorce

When we had children, my wife and I bought a big house. The children lived with us for two weeks a month, and then for two weeks with their fathers. From the very beginning, we decided to be open with the children and not hide how they were born. For them, we are both real mothers, they also consider Tommy and Mikke to be their real parents. Children know that each of them has a biological mother and a biological father: my son knows that I am his biological mother, and Mikke is the biological father, and Katharina knows that Tommy is her biological father, and my ex-wife is her biological mother. Nevertheless, she also calls me mom. We all take turns going to parent-teacher meetings at school. If suddenly I don’t have time to go to school with my son, my ex-wife goes with one of the fathers. When the ex cannot go to her daughter for a parent meeting, then I go with Mikke or Tommy. All teachers know what kind of family we have. However, after Tommy and Mikke and I divorced, things got more complicated. At the court, it was decided that all four of us equally have the right to be with children and participate in their upbringing. Only all of us still had to agree on a schedule, when and how long the children live with each parent. At first it was a complete madhouse. Both me and the former, as well as their fathers, had a hard time communicating after the divorce. But we didn't want it to reflect on the children. Although, of course, they felt everything. Despite their young age (son is 11 years old, daughter is 9), they know and understand everything. I was very upset by the divorce and, to be honest, did not want to know anything about my ex's new relationship. Moreover, I was alone then, and the thought that my ex-wife had someone was unbearable for me. But since the children came to me and told me that their other mother had a new girlfriend, that they went to the water park together, I had to endure and not show how I feel. However, my daughter saw how worried I was and asked: “Mom, maybe you could live together: you, mom and her friend? And would you be fine?" I replied that it wouldn't work.

About shift parenting

Now the children take turns living with each of us. For example, they stay at Mikke's for the weekend, then from Monday to Friday it's my turn. I pick them up Monday night from school and take a few days off from work or just leave work early. Then Tommy picks them up from school on Friday night, and so on. Every month the children stay with me once on the weekends and once on weekdays. And so - for each of the four parents. True, Tommy sometimes fails. He may suddenly write to all of us: “I am urgently leaving for Spain next weekend, who can take the children with him?” This especially annoys me. Or when he says he'll pick up the kids in the morning and then ends up arriving in the evening. And we sit all day and wait for him to arrive. We may not be on the best of terms, especially my ex-wife and I, but we are always in touch and help each other. If suddenly one of the children gets sick, all parents should immediately be aware of what to cook, what pills to stock up on when it is their turn to take the children.

On holidays like Christmas or Midsommar (Sweden's Solstice Day. - Approx. ed.), each of us takes the children to us for two days. During the summer holidays, we have about two and a half weeks each to be with the children. Despite the fact that I love both children equally, my son is still special to me. I just don't show it to my kids. True, when my son was hospitalized with a broken arm, the doctor called my ex. We still have one surname, and in some documents of the children I am indicated as a contact person, in some - she is. I called the doctor back and asked him to call me about him, because I was his biological mother.

I heard how they explained to their friends that their mothers fell in love with each other and wanted them to have kids like everyone else

About relationships at work

I am a social worker. At work, everyone is aware of my orientation, I do not hide anything from anyone. In my center, we help parents of children with special needs. I myself manage many cases, I advise parents who, for example, have a child with Down syndrome.

Once we were approached by a family consisting of two mothers who had a child with a serious brain injury. They were going to get a divorce, and we had to handle this case, because all the cases of children with special health conditions come to us. And at work they discussed what to do with the child, since this is a same-sex marriage. As in any other organization, we have an absolute majority of heterosexuals at work. I then said: “Let me speak, I still have an idea, since I myself was married to another woman.” And nothing, colleagues do not bulge their eyes.

About what kids think

I often wonder if our children would be happier if they had an ordinary family and two parents. To be honest, I don't know. I would give anything to see children every day. But I've come to terms with the way things are. We are often asked: “Do you like to torment your children with constant moving? After all, they are probably exhausted all the time moving from house to house. We asked the children how they were doing. They say: “What is it for us, we have fun, we have a big family and instead of two parents - as many as four! But for you yourself, probably, all this is not very good, since you got divorced. Children are calm about the fact that they have two moms and two dads, they are not embarrassed by their peers' questions about how it happened. I heard them explain to their friends that their mothers fell in love with each other and wanted them to have children too, like everyone else. . That they found two future dads and took the seed from them, but were not with these dads to have their children born. Therefore, they were born differently. Of course, other children listen to this story with their mouths wide open. Sometimes I wonder if it's too selfish what we got our kids into. Just think: when they, for example, want to start their own families, then not two parents will come to their wedding, but as many as four, and this is already four families. And if we consider that each of us now has a new partner, it turns out that it will be eight people. In the meantime, everything is going well, the four of us chip off at the children's birthdays, someone, for example, takes on the purchase of decoration balloons, someone prepares a cake, someone is responsible for the games. We take them in turn to rest, jointly pay the cost of education.

I am often asked: “What do you think, are your children straight? What if your son grows up and realizes that he is gay? It is not easy to answer this question. Of course, for my children, the very fact of the presence of homosexuality in society is not something extraordinary. But at the same time, Katarina always falls in love with boys, although, of course, she is only nine years old, it is too early to tell. Jonas is interested in girls. Frankly, I would rather have children of a traditional orientation. I would not want them to go through the difficulties that I have to face in life. Even in our society, which is considered one of the most tolerant, being gay and lesbian is harder than being straight.

About grandparents

We plan summer holidays for children together with the grandparents of other parents, because they also want to see their grandchildren. True, it usually turns out no more often than at Christmas, during the winter and summer holidays. This summer we will most likely go to Mikke's parents in northern Sweden, they have a big summer house by the lake. He convincingly asked us to reorganize the schedule so that in July the children would be with him. With my parents, as well as with the parents of my ex-wife, our children communicate infrequently, because the parents live far from Stockholm. But if I go out to my family on the weekend, I try to do it on the days when I have children, because my parents also want to babysit. In general, in Sweden it is not very common to involve grandparents in the upbringing of grandchildren or leave them for the summer with them. Of course, Christmas evening, when the whole family gathers, is sacred. Last Christmas, we nearly got into a fight with our second mother because we couldn't decide which of us could take the kids over for the weekend and take them to their parents. As a result, we agreed that on Saturday I would take the children to my parents, then on Sunday she would take them to hers. And on Christmas itself, all the parents get together, and Mikke and Tommy's parents also come, because they live in Stockholm. Grandparents are sure to buy all their children and grandchildren presents for Christmas. But parents in Sweden prefer to raise their children themselves. For example, if one parent works, then the second (it doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman) can take parental leave. Until the age of seven, the child goes to kindergarten, where they study with him until six or seven in the evening. Despite the fact that the working day in most institutions ends at four or five o'clock.

frankly saying
I would rather children were traditional orientation

At the request of the heroine, all names have been changed.

Text: Elena Krivovyaz

Illustrations: Masha Shishova