Did you wait for the guys from the army? a friend waited a whole year, and the guy came and left: feelings, he says, have passed. Returned from the army and became a real beast

him: good day cute :)

me: good afternoon

him: good answer

Me: What are your goals for the future?

him: have kids

me: from the wind?

him: can you help me?

Me: Have you been drinking since morning?

.........................

me: what do you think about our communication with you?

him: do you think friendship between a guy and a girl is possible?

me: initially I think yes, and then it develops into something more, but what did you mean by that?

he: to be honest, you feel everything yourself, I didn’t want to talk to you and therefore I couldn’t decide upon arrival from the service, because feelings could revive again

me: what do you want from me then tell me you have feelings for me?

he.no, stop, if you don't want, I won't write to you

me: what do you expect from me?

Him: No, friendship is not possible.

me: what is possible?

He: just communication.

me: you don't have anything for me?

Him: Haven't you had a drink?

me: no. well answer?

he: yes, but it will be with me.

me: well tell me why then communicate with an ex-girlfriend?

he;everything, let's not I understood.

me: i just don’t understand you have feelings and you don’t want a relationship, you’re just not sure that’s all.

In general, we don’t communicate with him anymore, honestly I don’t understand him as if it wasn’t my boyfriend who I was waiting for from the army, they usually come “hungry”, but this one, you know, everything suits him and so calmly. I don’t know, maybe another one appeared there, well, then he would have told me. You know, I’m thinking whether he will regret it or not?! , I have been waiting for a year and now nobody needs one; (((((((, I was crying, it was insulting even now I look at his VKontakte photo (he is in my friends there), and I just want to cry. Tell me and answer my question will you regret after a while? Give those advice on what to do next?

Young guys leave to serve every six months, and none of them can imagine what their future will be like. life after the army. Someone is afraid, someone, on the contrary, is eager to defend their homeland, and someone goes simply because they have to. Subsequently, they return home, but by what people? Some are merciless to everyone, brutalized, with a “sick” head, others are people who are ready for any vicissitudes of fate, able to control themselves, protect themselves, their relatives and friends. Why? Yes, for the most banal reason - each of us has our own character, endurance, our own head on our shoulders. Someone breaks under the charter, under the so-called "hazing", under the lack of freedom, but someone does not, someone finds the strength to fight for a calm and bright tomorrow for themselves and their loved ones.

The only question is whether a person is ready to pay for this the price he owes? What needs to be done in order to return home not as a beast, but as a person capable of adequately responding to a sudden change in the situation, to certain life circumstances?

First of all, it is necessary to understand - why are you going to serve - in order to be taught to kill, destroy others or protect the lives of others, temper your character, be a stone wall for those you love, for those who are dear to you. You also need to remember that this is an army, and not a means to break your character, to deprive you of the opportunity to do what you want, to be a person. Military service teaches not violence, but a way to avoid its use, although it seems to many that the opposite is true. And, depending on which option the soldier chooses, it adds up life after the army.

What are the rules?

Let's digress for a moment from the topic of the army and remember about martial arts. What is their essence? Undoubtedly, you are taught certain techniques, stances, movements, almost all of which are aimed at causing pain to another person, but the meaning of this training is protection from the enemy, and not an attack on a weak and defenseless person.

The goal of any martial art is to avoid a fight, and only, in the case when this is not possible, to apply one's knowledge and fighting skills. Military service teaches the same thing - no matter how someone is beaten, no matter what they force you to do, no one is going to suppress your will, endurance and character. And only in the case when you yourself surrender - the army is able to break you, turn you from a person into his miserable likeness, which means that you just need not to succumb to provocations and educate yourself, train yourself daily and hourly. Let mom, dad, grandparents not help you outside the perimeter of the part, but this is even better - after all, you are learning to be an independent person, independent of anyone else, to be responsible for your actions or inaction, for everything that you are capable of doing. This is the answer to the question, what gives the army.

The army has its own rules

I will not argue that there are also such servicemen who will seek to break you down, morally suppress you, moreover, this mainly happens in units close to hot spots. This is also quite understandable, because the closer to real military operations, the more endurance and hardening a soldier should have, and here you need to be able not only to follow the orders of senior commanders and commanders, but also to protect your life, overcoming difficulties and numerous obstacles, of which there are so many. and in real life, not behind the fence part. After all, it is quite possible that tomorrow you will have to fight not with colleagues, but against the enemy, whose only desire will be to destroy you, your land, your loved ones. As a result, in order to return home as a man, you need to be independent, have a strong character and be able to protect your life, in other words, be a man. And how else to become a man, if you are not ready to overcome the difficulties and numerous obstacles that the life of each of us is so rich in, how not to join the army?

Former conscripts told what their girls did while they served.

After all, during this time, the second half can have time to change orientation, sexually liberate, give birth to a child or escape to a hot country. Former conscripts from the Moscow region told RIAMO what surprised their girls.

Ilya, 28 years old, tourism manager (Domodedovo):

“We met for a year, and when I left to serve, I didn’t really worry - there was such a passion between us! She even flew to me in Yekaterinburg, for her sake I ran away without permission. She disappeared after 7 months. I tried to contact her mother, but without success. I waited for the demobilization and rushed to her house, but the door was slammed in my face.

A year later, I got sick, met a new love, and then my ex showed up, not alone, but with a child. Said it was my daughter. And she allegedly disappeared because she was afraid that I would leave her.

The ex-lover actively tried to get closer, I no longer experienced the old feelings, but I was drawn to the child, and we began to meet often. I even thought about starting over. But I accidentally found out how it all happened: while I served, she simultaneously met with a wealthy man and told him that the child was from him. And as soon as they parted, she decided to return to me.

I no longer communicate with my ex-girlfriend, and I take the child for the weekend.

Yuri, 22 years old, unemployed (Moscow):

“We met in a nightclub: I was a party-goer, and she was modest, I got into the club by accident, on a friend’s DR. At first, it didn’t work out for us: I invite her to hang out, and she invites me home, to watch a melodrama under a blanket.

While I was in the army, we communicated through social networks. And then photos in revealing clothes and some vulgar posts began to appear on her wall. From the army I was met by a completely different girl. Has changed dramatically: the style of clothing, makeup, behavior.

The problem is that I don't know how to "fix" it back. She stated that she wanted to become a stripper. I threatened that then we would part. I had to agree to strip plastic courses. Of course, there are pluses to her new look, but sometimes I miss her teddy bear pajamas and fluffy slippers.”

Pavel, 31 years old, employee of a private security company (Moscow):

“I always knew that my girlfriend is a jack of all trades. I remember being shocked when I saw her laying tiles in the kitchen. We even quarrel over the fact that she does everything herself - it's unpleasant to feel like a half-man.

When I returned from the army, she gave me a surprise - she repaired and painted my old “nine”, which it was high time to hand over to the service! I arrive - and at the entrance my car is on the move. Of course, I immediately made an offer - this should not be missed.

Artem, 24 years old, web designer, Moscow

“While I was in the army, my girlfriend managed to get married and divorced, and also work as a waitress in Turkey and meet a Turk. At the same time, she wrote to me that she was waiting, and she never disappeared.

When I returned, I asked her to issue me a temporary residence permit and accidentally saw my passport.

She really thought I wouldn't know. And then I found a folder with vacation photos on my computer and learned its “Turkish history”.

I did not part, I forgave, because I have feelings for her. But it feels like next to me is a monkey with a grenade.”

Egor, 29 years old, chef (Moscow):

“Katya and I have been dating since the eighth grade and were going to get married. They wanted to go to college together, but she got in, and I didn’t pass my exams and got drafted. Katya promised to wait, we corresponded.

By the end of the service, her messages became somehow dry, without emotions. I thought she was just tired of waiting.

I immediately wrote to Katya. She admitted that she started dating a girl.

Until now, I'm alone, I have a psychological trauma. I've tried dating other girls, but so far it hasn't worked."

Dmitry, 44 years old (Pushchino):

“While I was in the army, I managed to fall in love with a girl who did not pay attention to me. We met through friends, she had a boyfriend.

Then I went to serve in the Pacific Fleet. Before sending, he asked her for a photo as a keepsake and promised to bring a vest. She promised to correspond with me in a friendly way. In each letter, I hinted at my feelings to her, wrote: “Your Dmitry”, “kiss” and “tightly hug”.

It turned out that thoughts are material. Two years later, I returned and came to visit her in full dress naval uniform - she melted. We got married three months later and have three children. I guess I did something bad for her boyfriend, but I won my happiness.

Gleb, 19 years old, serviceman (Klin):

“My classmate Elya saw me off to the army, we had an affair from school. We agreed that I would return and we would get married. We talked on the phone every day, however, over time, the conversations became shorter and less sincere, but I didn’t really go in cycles in this.

I did not begin to explain to her, interrupted all contacts. I am a reconnaissance sniper by profession, and I was offered a contract to serve in Syria. Parents dissuade, but I decided - I will serve, earn money, and then I will think about my personal life.

Boris, 44 years old, entrepreneur (Volokolamsk):

“Before, all the guys had an attitude - not to fall in love before the army, because they served for three whole years. But of course, I fell in love with my neighbor Sveta, she had braids and huge green eyes with long eyelashes. Everything turned out trite.

Of course, I suffered for a long time. After the story with Sveta, he became more careful with women.

After the demobilization, he finished his studies, got a job, got married. My wife and I opened our own business, began to expand and recruit staff. And then my ex-girlfriend came to work for me - I was shocked when I saw a drunken, shabby aunt instead of a beauty. I took her as a dishwasher out of pity.

Konstantin, 23 years old (Yegoryevsk):

“We met from the age of 17, but broke up before the army, because I fell in love with another, and the ex-girlfriend found correspondence on my phone.

I decided to return her and every day I write long romantic letters to her. I am sure that she has not forgotten me and will want to start all over again.

Vyacheslav, 25 years old (Schelkovo):

“For the first months, my girlfriend wrote, called, talked about life, about how she was bored. And then the communication began to fade away, she talked to me without interest. The guys said it was the end. But I did not want to believe and called her.

She asked for forgiveness, but said that I was unreliable, and that she had another, from a good family, educated. After some time, I met another girl on the Internet and forgot about her. And then I accidentally found out that my ex's boyfriend also went into the army. I wonder if she will wait for him or not.