How to deal with the challenge when your boyfriend joins the army. How to wait for a guy from the army: psychologist's advice for girls

Answer from Lyubov Danik[active]
people are different, and characters too. I waited for mine .., but he has changed a lot. became tougher, swears, if something does not work out, breaks down. nevertheless, I connected my fate with him.
everything changes. depends not only on your MCH what it will become, a lot depends on where it will go. if you love, support as much as you can, and wait, then you will be more appreciated, because according to statistics, out of 10 girls, 1 is waiting. so it was with me. I was very proud of me that I did not stumble. and told terrible stories that from the whole part, only 2 waited. the rest got pregnant from others, wandered around, got married, and the boys in the army, who wanted to hang themselves, were removed from the noose, who were sent to the hospital for treatment, their nerves passed specifically. but if you decide to wait, then wait not because, as a decent person, he should later marry you, but wait for yourself, test your strength and patience. after all, there are cases when guys abandoned girls, or whores were filmed in the army, unfortunately, there is such a thing.

Answer from Olya Makarova[guru]
I think that on the contrary, he will miss you very much, and will worry throughout the service that you will not wait for him. If you wait, then he will be happy!

Answer from Karim Aljabali[active]
you need to show that you love him very much and then he will understand that you will be waiting for him

Answer from Iyplakova Anna[guru]
You better try to wait for it first....

Answer from Booster Rosary[guru]
he will return to others and distance will come - fact 100%%%

Answer from Whether[guru]
But I think time will tell!

Answer from Alexander[active]
my friend had a story, her boyfriend went into the army, while he was in the army everything was great, they had big plans, but when he returned, he no longer needed her, he began to need friends .... draw conclusions. ..

Answer from Alexander Shakirov[guru]
He won't get any smarter. Get cheeky. Don't wait for it. I'm telling you this as a guy. In the army, he won't love you much. There he will be you for the fact that you are free and he wants to go there. And then you break up. 80%.

Answer from [email protected] [guru]
It's hard to say how things will turn out. Maybe he will come back, he won’t need you, or maybe quite the opposite.

Answer from Olesya Zagudenkova[active]
promising nothing. left, let him go, the rest on arrival.

Answer from Andrea silver[guru]
if he loves, then there is nothing to worry about

Answer from Vasilina[newbie]
Well, if you love him very much, then you will wait. sometimes you will see each other when they let him go on leave.
but in general, a few are waiting for their guys. girls simply get bored, they forget them, and then fall in love again. after that, a chip shoots at some guys, a long and serious showdown begins. but to prevent this from happening, it is best to keep in touch, every day. so as not to forget each other. remember together your relationship, everything that has been passed and experienced. all the same, the distance of love is not a hindrance))

Answer from SNOW WHITE[guru]
you think correctly, they return from there differently. marry those girls. who were waiting for them. and they themselves walk with others. making up for lost time... Better leave it.

Answer from Irishka[guru]
And my... Let's not get upset! we will do everything so that this physical remoteness does not affect the closeness of feelings!
There are phones, there is ICQ and SMS. In the end, write letters, there will be something to re-read at your leisure, sitting next to you on the couch and drinking hot chocolate!))
Take this as a need to go to work, imagine, but before that, recruits were taken away for 25 years and went on war campaigns for 10 years! And more recently, they served for 2 years, and now it’s only a year! It will fly by and you won't notice! Come up with something to do, what to do with the time that will be freed up due to his absence! And we start counting the days... My countdown is from Monday! Catch up!

Waking up will have to defend his rightness, honor and dignity - the dream books are sure, interpreting what the call to the army is dreaming of. To see that in a dream a loved one was taken into the army means temporary detachment, coldness between lovers.

The psychologist, calling for service in the ranks of military troops in a dream, compares with the fears, insecurity of the sleeping person in his own decisions. I dreamed that the summons came to my husband, who had long ago repaid his debt to the Motherland, which means that in reality the spouse was bored with a monotonous and monotonous life.

The child has become a man!

The interpretation of the dream, in which the guy was taken into the army, for parents, heralds the maturity and independence of the child. Dream Interpretation Hasse speaks of the adult position of the son and his intention to leave his father's house.

Understand and accept the position of your child, and in order to avoid serious conflicts, try not to put pressure on your son with your authority and life experience.

A young lady, who in a dream has to organize a farewell to her boyfriend in the army, needs to listen to the words of her chosen one and take them seriously. No need to reproach your loved one with insolvency and lack of independence.

Rival?

The dream book for the Bitch advises married ladies to take off their rose-colored glasses, explaining why they dream about how their husband was taken into the army. The dreamed plot serves as a warning about the possible affair of the faithful. If drastic measures are not taken in time, the consequences may become irreversible.

If a young girl dreamed of seeing off her beloved boyfriend, then, in reality, the dreamer will have to go through a small crisis in relations with her chosen one. Perhaps at this moment a spectacular rival will appear on the way, capable of repelling her lover. Only your cunning and patience can prevent the competitor.

Take the first step!

But if on the eve of such a dream, you quarreled with a friend, then take the first step towards reconciliation - the dream book advises for the whole family. Esotericists interpret a little differently why they dream of seeing how a friend was taken into the army, hinting at the abundance of problems that fell on the shoulders of a comrade.

In the English dream book, you can see the opposite meaning of a dream in which a friend was taken into the army. Sometimes, such a plot announces the opportunity to turn to a friend for support.

Lend your shoulder!

Seeing a husband's conscription in a dream is identified with the difficulties awaiting the spouse in the near future. Perhaps a loved one will have to defend his good name or innocence in some unseemly deed. Medea's dream book advises to support your spouse, discarding your own doubts and distrust.

Details: emotions

But when interpreting to the dreamer why he is dreaming that he was taken into the army, the dream book draws attention to emotions in a dream and unusual moments in the dream plot. So.

Many couples date for several years during their adolescence. It often happens that already at the age of seventeen young people want to give the rest of their lives to their beloved girl, the girl also wants this, both plan, plan and plan.

But, as always happens, spring or autumn comes and your chosen one being drafted into the army.

A summons came, you sit for a long time, discussing his county to Army, tears are visible on the female cheeks .... At one moment, all plans for the next year collapsed, your guy turned out to be fit for military training and, like happiness in his eyes, but it seems not.

He, just like you, begins to doubt that upon returning from armies, you will welcome him with open arms, write to him, wait a whole year and not lose your mind when another one crosses your path.

All this is very difficult, sometimes someone can not stand it, and then a silent parting follows. There have been cases when young people committed suicide after learning that their lover had cheated.

Here, in fact, is another motive for you not to try to go to the left until your the guy will be in the army. Of course, this happens extremely rarely, but these are the realities.

How to make yourself wait for your lover?

The fact is that we all have a different attitude to this or that event, factor and, in particular, to love. If I had been in the girl's place, I would most likely not have waited, and generally forgot about the existence of this person. But it's me, I've never been in that situation and I'm a man.

You can probably force yourself in only one way - to lock yourself in a mental cage, that is, not to let another person settle in your heart. guy. That will be more correct. In general, you can find yourself some interesting occupation, hobby, you can go to some courses.

In a word, do something. You will see, time will pass quickly and imperceptibly. Also, to all of the above, I would like to add - do not forget about your beloved, look for opportunities to contact him, write to him, send your photos, you can do this at least once every two weeks, so that your guy I saw you change.

According to the above, I can only say one thing, there is nothing better than a long-awaited meeting and confirmation of loyalty to your loved one. Of course, after your arrival, on you your guy will look a little different, since I haven't seen you for a whole year.

What is the meaning of "otherwise"? In such that, first of all, he wants to completely make sure that you did not have time to change him, so to speak, a monthly check. Of course, not all young people will begin to arrange checks, ask acquaintances, etc., but you can also prepare for this moment.

At the end of the month, when you have complete harmony, he will begin to make plans for a job, possibly studying, an apartment, living together and, finally, a wedding. This moment also does not come for everyone for the simple reason that all people are different, but you will understand his main desires in the first month of his stay at home.

So, you don't need to worry about what your the guy went into the army, this is normal, real men should go through this, if you are not sure that you can pass the test for one year, set yourself a goal and go to it, then you will not have time to notice that a year has already passed.

Young guys in the army. How to wait for your favorite guy from the army?

Every guy has a period in his life when he must pass a test for the right to be called the defender of the Fatherland. He leaves to serve in the army. This is the honorable duty of every male citizen. However, this is not a walk in the woods and far from a pioneer camp, in which he will spend about a year and a half of his life. At this time, he will have to give up many familiar things, friendly communication, ordinary pastime (after all, now he will need to live according to the routine and charter), but in addition, this is also a test of the strength of feelings in terms of relations with his beloved girl.

There is a certain opinion among men that all women (in ordinary conversation - women) are spoiled and unfaithful. After all, they may be shedding their sweat and blood, protecting them. They go through many hardships, deny themselves the usual joys. Women or girls, on the other hand, just need to stay at home and do housework. However, this is a subjective point of view. If you look at it from the other, female side, then everything is also drawn not so cloudlessly.

The guy is in the army. What to do? They took the guy to the army.

With the departure of the guy to the army, she also loses for a while a loved one and the opportunity for full-fledged communication. There is a feeling of loneliness, because even calls become a problem. And you can hear the voice of a loved one only at the appointed time. Few people think about the psychological side of the problem for a girl. After all, at this time, she must also change her usual way of life. Now, going to the movies or to the disco are filled with a constant feeling of guilt that you are not having fun with him. Yes, and you have to constantly think about what his friends will say if they meet you there. Although in fact there is nothing reprehensible in your actions. As if you should for this time forget about the joys of life and lead a "reclusive" lifestyle of a nun. And at such a young age, resisting all sorts of temptations is simply unrealistic. Therefore, in my opinion, girls who have waited for the return of the guys from the army, who have practically nothing to reproach, should, along with male defenders, be given a medal for courage and courage.

In addition, like the future “defender”, there are many doubts about the endurance of their soulmate. After all, there are many temptations in the army too. The question of betrayal slips into your mind, and a vile worm of doubt begins to sharpen your brain. It is not clear how to feel when he does not answer your letters or incomprehensible SMS messages come to your phone, in which he begins to doubt you or, worse, blame you for God knows what. So you can slowly but surely reach literally to the “handle”.

Young guys in the army. - It is far from a secret that after completing compulsory military service, a very strong imprint appears in the soul of young people and remains for life. Sometimes a completely different person comes back, with a greatly changed outlook on life, a new worldview. And these views do not always coincide with yours. Some young people become more aggressive. Yes, this is understandable, because psychologists have long noted that in extreme circumstances, far from the best sides appear in the human character, and if, upon his return, you found traits in behavior and character that repel you, then I think you should think about it.

On the one hand, it is necessary to give him time to “acclimatize”, on the other hand, take a closer look at him and try to talk about the problem that has arisen. If, however, things do not improve over time, then talk to him seriously and explain that you cannot put up with such a thing. Even in the event of a break, do not despair, but thank the valiant army that, by its intervention, it saved you in a timely manner from big problems that would certainly have arisen, but later.

The guy serves in the army, what should I do? How to wait for your favorite guy from the army?

How to stay "in the saddle", to achieve respect and with dignity to endure this test? It seems to me that upbringing and honesty of feelings play a big role here. If they are real, then almost all obstacles can be overcome: time, distance, and doubts.

You can overcome the temptation of a stormy pastime with the help of active sports. So, by the way, do men, sometimes training to exhaustion. This method was invented by the monks of the legendary Shaolin. Of course, you are not a monk or a fighter, so know the measure, but this type of distraction will allow you to please your loved one upon his return with a beautiful shape and well-groomed body.

Invest the free time that has appeared wisely: study hard, learn a foreign language, take up a hobby or devote more time to old hobbies. Remember, guys love, of course, not "blue stockings" - "nerds", but not pacifiers either. He will certainly be pleased, upon returning, to see an intellectually developed interlocutor next to him. In addition, seeing your employment and academic success, he will no longer have all the doubts cast by "well-wishers" in the army.

Be sure to write to him, even if he rarely answers you. Believe me, in this regard, your position is much more advantageous than his with eternal army exercises and other drills. But this does not mean at all that he has forgotten about you, there is simply not enough time. In letters, try to cheer him up, convey greetings from his relatives. He will be all the more pleased that you do not lose contact with people close to him. Even if you harmlessly walked in a disco, it is not necessary, however, to tell him about it. It is better to refrain from jealousy during the time of separation. Believe me, in the army there will almost always be a “kind” person who will daily insist that not a single girl will remain faithful in separation. Therefore, with your letters and calls, do your best to support his faith in you and your relationship.

To wait for your favorite guy from the army. - The most important thing: do not lose your head, do not despair, no matter how long the service life may seem to you. The run of time is fleeting, such is the law of life. Get in a positive mood. Remember, with your tantrums on the phone, you will in no way help him survive separation from you, but will only ruin his mood once again. The trembling of the voice can be interpreted in two ways: as a sign of excitement due to deceit, or as an attempt to hide tears. Therefore, it is also worth being more careful with this. In general, remember that he is still the same, he loves you and will soon return to you. You can repeat these words as auto-training. The share of women is to wait for their men, so endure this duty with honor.

Continuation:

WikiHow is a wiki, which means that many of our articles are written by multiple authors. When creating this article, 14 people worked on editing and improving it, including anonymously.

The military is always stressful for couples, and this trend seems to be getting worse. However, with the right tools and planning, employee-civilian relationships can even be strengthened by such stress, and strengthened by perseverance. You must know how you will keep in touch with your family during the service; how much it will cost each week. Find out when you can get time off to visit your spouse at home.

Steps

Establish a connection before they leave. Often, a loved one receives a notification before being sent to military service. Use this time wisely. Avoid the temptation to fight or criticize each other. Try to understand what your partner is going through. In some places, military service is not something one can choose one's own free will. Don't dwell on the thought that you might lose each other. Instead, enjoy the time you spend together and grow closer as a couple. Work to connect on deeper emotional levels and try to look to the future with optimism.

Prepare for change. When a person enters military service, he often has to leave home, sometimes for several years. Get ready for it. Work on making plans. It may be worth creating a plan and getting a job near the location. However, don't do it immediately. Wait until they get to the new base and get comfortable, otherwise the move can create undue stress for your soldier as he tries to fit in with the new unit. Discuss it and wait until you get the go-ahead to act.

Get ready for a change in your partner. Almost every army in the world has a young fighter course. It is designed to teach civilians how to survive combat, maintain discipline, and prepare them to become effective soldiers. This initial course is usually challenging and can be a life-changing experience for many recruits. Get ready for these changes. Don't blame your partner for them; these changes often symbolize the adaptations they had to go through in order to survive the rigors of the training course.

Prepare for change in yourself. When your partner leaves, you will have to find meaning in independence in order to continue living. Just as they need to adapt to the new environment, you will have to do the same. It's good to have a support community nearby, and networking ahead of time definitely helps. Try to find common friends and family members who know both of you well. If it was just you and your partner, you can get very lonely if you don't even have anyone to talk to. Although you may feel the urge to abandon your partner, try not to. If you leave him when he is away, he may feel abandoned and betrayed.

Communicate as much as possible. Many core training programs restrict communication with loved ones to simulate the harsh conditions of war. Despite this, it is important to use every possible means to continue communication. Share your feelings openly and try not to hide anything. This can be a very difficult time, and feeling like something is being hidden can add to stress, unnecessary confrontation, and heartbreak. If your partner is sent to a war zone, be prepared for the fact that opportunities for communication will rarely appear. If letters or phone calls are infrequent, this does not always mean that the partner no longer cares about you. Perhaps it's just the logistical structure that obliges you not to keep in touch.

Enjoy every minute spent together. Sometimes your loved one may get vacation or leave when they can return home. Enjoy the time you spend with him and use him to bond within the couple. However, know that often he will also want to see friends and family. Do not be upset about this, because he did not see his family for as long as he missed you. However, leave time for yourself. Celebrate the strength you both have gained in facing this adversity.

1. Keep planning for the future. Always keep looking ahead. Having a common goal can help you and your partner grow closer to each other, give you something to look forward to that will inspire and guide you every day. Make sure these goals are realistic and that you have discussed them with each other.

   • Don't let doubts oppress you. Try to stay as optimistic as possible. And trust. Trust is key. If he/she is "the one", then you have nothing to worry about.
   • Communication is also key. As long as you can remain open and honest in your communication, very few things can tear you apart.
   • Do not wind yourself up with the thought that their life may be in danger. This hello only to the fact that you will be anxious and preoccupied, which can damage the relationship. Try to understand the actual situation. A study published several years ago found that civilians on the streets of Washington are more at risk than American soldiers in Baghdad.
   • Allow yourself to grieve. It's okay to let your emotions out sometimes if you need to. However, be careful. This is no excuse to give up all current ambitions and fall into a state of inactivity and depression. Just imagine what it will be like for him to return home if his loved one is in such a messy state.
   • Always remember that your man is a man with ambitions and goals. This should increase your pride and maybe even your self-confidence. Remember, he chose you.
   • Sometimes couples break up as a result of changes. This is completely natural and while it may be sad, it is a normal part of life.

   Warnings

   • If you feel like your partner has developed PTSD or another experience disorder, don't be afraid to suggest they seek help. Medical research has led to tremendous advances in the treatment of mental disorders and brain injuries in the last decade.
   • Don't take your partner's departure as an opportunity to start a new romance, as this can only hurt in the long run.
   • Try not to get married early. Such things are common in the military, and cause great stress for both sides as they grow up. If your partner suggests marriage, reassure them and offer to wait a bit to build a stronger relationship.
   • If a relationship has become abusive, it is critical to end it as quickly as possible. You don't have to risk your health or life to "help make things better." Often, the departure of a loved one due to mistreatment works as a wake-up call, prompting the other person to seek professional help.