A woman who belongs to only one man. To own and belong - who is more important? Women don't want to belong to one man

The best way to show unconditional true love to your future husband is to take good care of your precious gift: chastity. Being chaste is not just about refusing to “cross the line.” We women can devote ourselves to the pursuit of inner perfection, to possess a beautiful, untouched and undefiled treasure, the radiance of which would illuminate our entire being. If we choose to do this, what great wealth will our future husbands have! This doesn't mean we will always be perfect. But we will move in the right direction, following the path not of compromise, but of radiant and joyful purity in

in the truest sense of the word.

Anne, one of my closest friends, is a beautiful brunette sophomore at a Christian college in Illinois. Her ideas about purity are radically different from mine. She is nineteen years old, but she has not yet gone on a date, has not given her heart to anyone, and has not even kissed! Extreme? Impossible? Painful? Don't think.

From a very young age, Anne decided that she would give the pearl of her purity to her future husband on her wedding day. But she didn't just promise to abstain from sex until marriage. She decided to treasure her heart, her soul and her virginity - her whole self - for the man she would one day marry. Ann's goal is to one day give all of herself, without any “extra baggage,” to her future husband.

During her youth, Anne allowed the Creator to protect and nurture the precious pearl of her purity so that it would become a shining jewel for her husband. Ann asked the Lord to protect and keep her tender heart in His hands.

Anne is not a failure at all. She is self-confident, leads an active lifestyle and is even so beautiful that she could well be a fashion model. It’s probably not worth mentioning that the guy she’ll marry is himself

will be an extraordinary person.

Since Anne treats her treasure very carefully from the very beginning, she is not tempted to throw such a precious gift at the feet of the first Mr. Charm who meets her along the way. The one she marries will have to first conquer her heart.

“For guys who approach me hoping to find their next girlfriend,” she says, “I usually treat their attempts as if I were already engaged. Until God brings and shows me my future husband, I don’t want to give myself to others.”

Ann approaches this issue very differently from the way I approached it. She doesn't throw her heart like a rubber ball left and right. My pearl was left in the lurch for the highest bidder (or the prettiest) to take, and as a result it wasn't as beautiful as it could have been. And Ann placed her treasure in God’s safe hands to be kept there until God Himself showed her that the right time had come.

This does not mean that Anne never made mistakes. That doesn't mean it's always easy for her to keep her vow.

She will be the first to tell you that she is a very ordinary person. She has to face the same disappointments, temptations, fears and doubts that we all face. She is familiar with moments of desperate loneliness. Sometimes she wondered if she had set the bar too high, and if her vow was worth not breaking it. And only trust in the Savior helped her preserve herself until now.

Anne is an example for all of us. All of us, with God's help, should strive for the same goal that she set for herself. To become a woman who belongs to only one man. To love your future husband, expressing love for him through your lifestyle and caring attitude towards the pearl of your purity... all the days of his life. Not out of obligation, but out of unconditional, absolute love for your future spouse and deep reverence for your Creator.

When two people who have kept themselves “intact” - internally and externally, emotionally and physically - come together to love each other for the rest of their lives with the purest love imaginable... this is a love relationship in its true, unadulterated form ! This is God's perfect plan! This is the “sweeter song”! And we can hear it now!

Many of us have not kept our pearl of purity intact, and some may have lost their treasure completely. But even if this happened to you, it is not too late, by God’s grace, to take a different path. It's not too late to find out what your love story God will write. It is time to allow God to transform you into His likeness. And by allowing Him to do everything according to His will, you will turn into a princess, shining with true purity and purity.

“There were always a lot of men around me, but in the end, as I understand it, it didn’t make me happy. There are many men, but there is no happiness.

Moreover, all the men did a lot for me. All my friends were jealous of me like women.
It seemed that what else a woman needs - male attention in abundance, help is always welcome. All tasks were so clearly distributed between them.
One gave gifts, the other solved all the problems with the car, the third other everyday issues, the fourth had great sex.
Moreover, when the relationship was parallel with two men, I felt the happiest.
It felt like I was just swimming in a sea of ​​male attention and love.
I also gave a lot to my love, my men felt good with me and for almost everyone I was a bright spot in their life.
They periodically guessed about my parallel connections, but did not want to admit the presence of a second one, and this is what made me unhappy.
I had to lie. I thought that if men agreed to the existence of parallels and did not start scandals and set conditions, then this would be happiness in its purest form.

It’s strange, as I write I understand that the feeling of happiness was always somehow short-lived.
I myself wanted to be with only one man and belong to only one, it seemed that I was even deliberately provoking jealousy, maybe I wanted someone to grab me and say: “Mine, I won’t let you go anywhere else!”
But at the same time, when someone began to claim me too much, there was a feeling of suffocation, as if there was not enough air.
I myself don’t know what I want... It seems like love, but not one man could make me happy.
Soon he had a bunch of shortcomings that began to irritate me greatly.
On the one hand, I’m irritated; it seems to me that he is completely incapable of anything.
On the other hand, sometimes I see many advantages in him and it seems that I love him.

Sometimes, when I woke up from another crush, I thought with horror how I could get in touch with someone like that.

Why are there many men, but no happiness? Why weren't all my men the man of my dreams? Why didn’t I feel happy with them for a long time?
Moments of happiness lasted exactly as long as my crush lasted.
It’s different with everyone, and then that’s it... Suddenly I begin to understand that I don’t want to be with this man, and then my “walks through agony” began.
On the one hand, I always tried to accept a man as he is, justified his shortcomings, found reasonable explanations for him, tried to help him, make him a man, believed in the wonderful power of love... I fought until one day I understood …Useless!!!
One born to crawl will not be able to fly, and she left disappointed to move on to the next one, who was always already in mind.

And so endlessly!!!

Am I really doomed to be unhappy for the rest of my days?

Please help me understand myself.”

This is the letter I received, full of despair and pain.
With the permission of the person who wrote to me, I am publishing this letter and my response.

First of all, I want to invite you all to my free webinar: Who am I and what am I like with a man,
On it we will analyze your relationship with a man, how you build it and how you can change the formed scenario.

And now I will express my opinion on the existing problems of the heroine of this letter.

I think the problem is that you are basically incapable of long-term love relationships.
In your unconscious, there is a certain scenario that is somehow connected with love, affection and strong irritation and anger.

When you stay with one man and begin to become more attached to him, then your claims and demands on him begin to increase, your anger increases in proportion to your affection.
And this is essentially normal, because you begin to open your heart, and there is everything there, and negative feelings always lie on the surface, and only then underneath is love.
Two people who want to be together, of course, need to be able to withstand all this intensity, not get scared, not push the other away, and not recoil themselves.
This is very, very difficult to do, which is why there are not many truly happy families.

For you, attachment is a vulnerable and painful place, and before you allow yourself to go into the depths of the relationship, you begin to look for indisputable and reliable evidence of his love for you.
You need 100 guarantees that you are not mistaken about a person’s feelings, that he will not stop loving you and will not leave you.

And during the period of searching for evidence, you begin to suffer yourself and torment your partner.
He begins to irritate you, you begin to find fault with everything, he looked at you wrong, his voice is not kind, he doesn’t ring much, he’s not gentle in bed.
The man simply falls under your highly magnified microscope.
Moreover, the microscope only works in one direction - to see evidence or their lack of love for you.
You talk a lot about your feelings and how you like the attention of men to you, and your state of mutual love.
After falling in love, there always comes a period when it seems that nothing connects with the person, that he is somehow different and not like you knew.
In relationships beyond the pink period, real people begin to appear, with their strengths and weaknesses.
As far as I understand, you are not puzzled by such a task of getting to know a person. You don't need this, you only need how they treat you and what they do for you.
You like being loved!
You love for love, if they love me I’m happy, but WHO???
I think this is the most important question.
From the very beginning, you need to be very careful when choosing a partner; your microscope should be aimed not at the attitude towards you, but at the person himself.
You must understand that when falling in love and opening your soul and heart, you must be sure that this particular person is worthy of you opening your soul to him.
The most reliable guarantee is the qualities of a person, his principles, his spiritual world.
You don’t need to pay attention to the attitude towards you, you need to pay attention to the attitude towards others.
To my mother first of all, to my sister if I have one, to my ex-wives.
You need to listen and hear what he says about women, how he speaks about them.
If in your presence he can speak rudely and disrespectfully about an unfamiliar woman, draw the conclusion that deep down he DOES NOT RESPECT a woman.
If a man has no respect for a woman... That's it... this man, if you respect yourself, cannot be yours.
You need to pay attention to everything.
Financial situation, of course, is not the main thing, there would be harmony and peace in the family, and everything would come to such a family, but... you need to understand that if a man in adulthood has not achieved anything and has not realized himself as a man, then this man is an unhappy man .
An unfulfilled man cannot make a woman happy.
How an internally unhappy and unfulfilled person can make another happy.
Pay attention to his relationship with children and friends.
This is very important, a person reveals his facets with other people and this way you can see all his sides.
Find out in detail about his life, about his previous relationships, how he broke up with women, why...

First of all, you must find human qualities in him for which you can always respect this person... Regardless of whether you are together or not.
Is it because he is not with you that his inner world has become different? No!!! This means there is always a place for respect.

As soon as you discover respect for a person through your mind, only after that can you open your heart; you need to start any relationship from the head, gradually descending into the heart center.
And not the other way around, first we fall in love, then we begin to think and open our eyes to a real person.

The inability to see a real person and the inability to choose a worthy one leads to the fact that falling in love does not develop into love; in love you need respect for the person and the desire to be with him.

Another point is, of course, you need to be tolerant of shortcomings; even the most worthy people have their shortcomings and they need to be accepted.
But it is better to guess about these shortcomings in advance, and make a choice for yourself whether you are ready to put up with and accept these shortcomings or not.
There is no need to hope that a person will change!!! Immediately choose for yourself - I can accept or I cannot accept. And that's it!!! The decision is yours!
For example, you can easily accept some shortcomings, but others are already beyond the acceptance line for you.

If the real person is at the forefront, and not his attitude towards you, then the relationship will be built according to a completely different pattern.
I don’t know what in your case is stopping you from going further into love.
But something prevents you from going deeper into the relationship.
Or rather, this something is the pain that you received in your childhood.
Going deep and being in a close relationship with a person is fraught with danger for you, and your psyche in its own way protects you from the pain that you may encounter. In terms of its strength, this pain is not experienced by you, hence the avoidance.
You write that you are happy in parallel, simultaneous relationships only because there is an illusion of attention and love, but everything is on the surface, you do not get deeply involved with one person and thereby do not allow yourself to become attached to him.
Many women in the first stages of falling in love feel lightness and naturalness, but as they continue, the lightness begins to go away.
What is this?
Fear of close relationships?
Does intimacy and love awaken other strong feelings of hatred and anger? Fear and unwillingness to face them!
Indeed, after falling in love, you understand that the man is not the one with whom you can move on?
Inability to accept a person in his individuality?
There are many men, but there is no happiness; it is not the number of men, but the quality of relationships that can make a woman happy.

There are many questions and also many answers. There is no one clear answer. Only you yourself can answer all these questions. Surprisingly, all the answers are within us.
Another person can only help you get in touch with your own unconscious.

So far, only one thing is clear: the partner is still for you as a tool to satisfy your own needs.

If the men were worthy and you did not move on, then only long-term psychotherapy will help you overcome the fears of intimacy and love.
If there were unworthy men, then you need to understand that you were focused on your need to be loved.
Everything about love and relationships, these problems cannot be solved quickly in a few meetings.
In fact, this is long and serious work. I don’t believe in methods that suggest solving such problems in a few months.
Here it is necessary to work not with consciousness, but with the unconscious, and it is not discoveries and knowledge about oneself that heal a person, but living and liberation lead to harmony and mental balance.

For those who want to ask me a question, write your questions on the website in the section: Question to a psychologist or to my email:

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Many people know this woman as Marilyn Monroe, but in fact her name was Norma Jean Baker (born Mortenson). The standard of beauty of the 1950s, which is still admired today, she was always surrounded by fans. Some of them remained among the martyrs of unrequited love, and some were lucky to get the hand and heart of a burning beauty, but not for long. The blonde was not afraid to get a divorce and get into a relationship again.

We are in website admired Marilyn's resilience and strength of character. Despite her difficult childhood and adolescence, this extraordinary woman was able to achieve success.

Monroe was the most sought-after and least paid actress in Hollywood at the same time. The reason for this was the gender inequality of the time. The star was loved by millions of men, and women admired her and dreamed of becoming like her. Many considered the American a stupid blonde, but she was just hiding under this mask - it was easier for her.

Marilyn was married three times, but, unfortunately, she never had children (which she really wanted): all her pregnancies ended unsuccessfully. According to Monroe herself, some men treated her like a thing that could be bought, and for this the actress hated the image that producers and directors imposed on her.

For a long time, Monroe collaborated with the 20th Century Fox studio and starred in more than 20 films, the most successful of which were Some Like It Hot and Niagara, and also received a Golden Globe award for Best Actress.

In her final years, Marilyn rekindled her relationship with her second husband, Joe DiMaggio (pictured below), with whom she planned to remarry. But, alas, the actress died. The official cause of Monroe's death was suicide due to excessive attention to her publicity and persecution by the press.

The 1950s sex symbol is still imitated, and Marilyn's quotes are still popular today. Most of her sayings were dedicated to love and men. Perhaps she understood this quite well.

• A husband is that person who always forgets your birthday and never misses a chance to tell you your age.
• I agree to live in a world ruled by men as long as I can be a woman in this world.
• Men have a sincere respect for everything that causes boredom.
• A strong man does not need to assert himself at the expense of a woman who had the weakness to love him. He already has a place to show his strength.
• A career is a wonderful thing, but it can't keep anyone warm on a cold night.
• Men don't look at me. They glance at me, but that's not it.
• You can't sleep with a man and take money from him without trying at least a little to believe that you love him.
• I have often thought that to be loved means to be desired. Now I think that to be loved means to plunge another into dust, to have complete power over him.
• Women have only two weapons: mascara and tears. But we cannot use them at the same time.
• To be late means to make sure that they are waiting for you. It is you and no one else. Know that you are irreplaceable.
• Women's charms cannot be produced industrially, no matter how much anyone might want it. True beauty comes from femininity. Female attractiveness is only strong when it is natural and spontaneous.

• The dream of millions cannot belong to one.
• A wise girl knows her limits. A smart girl knows that she doesn't have them.
• It is much better to be happy alone than to be unhappy with someone now.
• I didn't make a woman. Men, because of my image as a sex symbol, created by them and myself, expect too much from me: they expect bells to ring and whistles to blow. But my anatomy is no different from any other woman's. I don't live up to expectations.
• Husbands are mostly good lovers when they betray their wives.
• The body is meant to be seen, not hidden.
• If you can make a girl laugh, then you can make her do anything.
• Men who think that a woman's past love interests diminish her love for them are usually stupid and weak.
• A true lover is the man who is able to excite a woman simply by touching her head or smiling while looking into her eyes. Or just staring into space.

Do you have any favorite Marilyn Monroe quotes?

One girl invited six of her former lovers to her birthday. Do you know why? She wanted them to fight or at least compete for her as a prize. They proved who it belonged to, and she would have been pleased.

But the fact is that, while a man wants to own a woman. It seems to be the same thing, but there is one nuance.

These desires can be expressed in different forms, sometimes even a little strange.

A man can ask a woman for a threesome, with another woman, or even with another man. The main thing is that she does what he wants, so that the man feels that he owns her, that she is HIS woman.

The entire biochemistry of the body supports these desires of ours. After sex or even close communication, a woman produces hormones that make her want to “stick” to the man with whom the woman was close. That's why a woman often begins to draw pictures of life together, weddings and children. These fantasies can live in a woman’s mind for several minutes, or several days, or longer, or until a date with another man.

Common sense, life experience and the desire to start a family or live alone do not play any role here. Well, such pictures appear and that’s it. Like in a slot machine, you inserted a coin and got a glass of coffee. It happens that a woman can have sex with several men, but feel like she belongs to someone alone. I don’t know on what basis this one is chosen. But if there is such a one, then she is happy and feels like a woman.

Something tells me that men don’t have anything like that looming in their heads.

I don’t know what hormones a man has that cause him to feel that a woman is a part of him that belongs to him, but he has such a perception. The difference is that a woman feels like she belongs to one man. And a man can feel that he belongs to several women . And when a man says: “Masha, I love both you and Dasha,” this may well be true.

A man wants a woman to belong to him of his own free will, and not to be bought by him for money or some other benefits. Shopping for supplies is also, of course, a pleasure, but it’s like eating short shirak when there is no other food. This does not mean that a man will not give money or give gifts to a woman who belongs to him, quite the contrary. Because he will experience much more pleasure with his woman. From the feeling of ownership.

Belonging does not mean walking on a leash, being a servant and fulfilling any whim. This is more of a feeling than a concrete action. But since we have not yet learned to feel each other, we can help convey our feelings with words.

For example, do not tell a man: “You are mine.” He is not yours. He is his own. You are his. Say: “I am your woman. I love being with you."

Give him the last word. It's a small thing, but nice. He will feel like a master.

Men, do not tell a woman: “I am yours.” Say: “You are my woman.” And tell others: “This is my woman,” especially if she is nearby.

These are all such cute little things that will add a lot of pleasure to both of you from life and from communicating with each other.

If you can establish such mutual enjoyment, then you will have a place for common pleasure. It’s as if you have a cup into which pleasure will be collected. Where? I don't know where. From space, probably. And there will be trust, which is also very pleasant and enjoyable.

And don’t be alarmed by what you think are strange requests from your loved one. Maybe they appeared because you do not give him that same feeling of belonging, and he wants to get proof for himself? And in general there are no strange requests between lovers. Especially when they feel like one.

What kind of woman is considered a man's ideal? Good advice for girls who want to please men. A manual for men on how to choose a great girlfriend and life partner.

What kind of ideal woman is she, the dream of every man? A wonderful housewife, a passionate lover or a caring mother of his children? Or maybe one that combines all these qualities?

Every woman dreams of unraveling this secret in order to become truly irresistible.

7 basic male needs will help you understand what qualities a man looks for and values ​​in a woman. Learn to combine them, and you can become the only and beloved of your man for life.

1. Female partner

This woman has a skill that is indispensable for a happy relationship: generous listening. She knows how to listen like no one else. She is interested and important in everything that her companion wants to talk about - from problematic and difficult moments in his work to the incredible ideas with which he is filled. At the same time, she does not necessarily need to thoroughly understand all the intricacies of the business or other activities in which he is engaged. It is important to be able to give a man the feeling that she is on his side, his main ally and support in those moments when it is really needed.

2. Female muse

You have probably heard the famous proverb “behind every great man there is a great woman.” History knows many such examples: Salvador Dali's Gala, Napoleon's Josephine, the wives of great writers, scientists, politicians... So what kind of woman-muse is she? What is her strength? First of all, the ability to believe in your companion, inspire him and admire him correctly.

Remember what words you usually use to express admiration for your loved one? Most likely, stereotyped phrases like “you are my best,” “the nicest,” “the most wonderful” will come to mind. Who do they remind you of? Really, a mother who praises her child for a good deed? Receiving such praise, a man also risks “falling into childhood”, turning into a child. True admiration, which can give a man strength and inspire him to new achievements, is not praise for an action. It's admiration for what he hasn't done yet.

Admire the qualities that you would like to see in your man, the things that he is yet to accomplish. Do it sincerely, believe in him and inspire him with your faith. Only in this case will he believe your words and gain the energy to develop and achieve everything that you see in him.

3. Cozy Fairy Woman

This woman creates a space for a man where he is always welcome and loved, where he feels calm, where he is surrounded by home comfort. Even such simple components of everyday life as ironed shirts, delicious food, surrounding cleanliness and order give a man a colossal amount of energy. Such a woman turns the house into a source of strength, a place where a man wants to return, where he recovers and rests, and from where he leaves inspired for new exploits. This woman also knows how to demonstrate her feelings to a man in a special way, greets him with joy, surrounds him with care and warmth, and fills the space with love. Next to such a woman, a man is always full of strength and energy.

4. Woman sex

This is a woman who has learned to appreciate and love not only a man, but also herself. Next to her in the man’s space, no outside temptations appear. She knows how to give her companion exactly those sensations that are important to him. And he does this not only in intimate relationships, but also in all other areas of life.

There is a widespread stereotype that a man is driven to cheat solely by the desire for sex. It turns out that this is not always the case. Often, a man looks for those feelings in his mistress that he does not receive from his wife. Betrayal can be caused by stressful everyday life, some kind of conflict, lack of attention, underestimation and a thousand other reasons not related to physiology.

To prevent all this from happening, it is important for a woman to learn to treat herself correctly, turn off her inner “mommy” and begin to provoke her man to grow and develop. Women who know how to do this are not cheated on by men, because height is one of the most important male needs.

5. Woman devotion

It is a special gift to convey the feeling “I belong to one man, I am behind him, I am only his woman.” Such a woman knows how to attract attention, but at the same time remain inaccessible. She knows how to be noticeable to everyone, but remains faithful and devoted to her loved one.

A woman can be truly happy only when she, firstly, loves and values ​​herself, and secondly, is able to spiritually belong to one man. In a relationship, such a woman happily serves her companion and, of course, receives mutual worship and support from him.

6. Female friend

It is important to distinguish this need from a “female partner”. A woman friend accepts a man for who he really is. With her, he can relax and open up, throw off the mask of the strong and just be himself. Sad statistics confirm that mortality from cardiovascular diseases is higher among men than among women. Nature created males to be strong, to fight and win. But if the struggle occurs constantly - both at work and at home - they simply cannot withstand the stress. Therefore, it is important for a woman not only to provoke a man to grow and develop, but also to give him the opportunity to relax and unwind next to her. Not in order to stop and degrade, but in order to simply gain new strength.

7. Business card woman

This is a woman who makes a man proud. He is proud of her attractive appearance, the fact that other men pay attention to her, and she belongs only to him. This is the ability to be delightful for your man, to always maintain his interest. The art of awakening in him the true masculine nature - the nature of a hunter, conqueror, winner. The talent to remain attractive in any situation - both on the first date and after ten years of marriage, and at home and at a social event.

In long-term relationships, women often complain about the cooling of feelings of their companions. And the whole point is that their men simply had no one to defeat. After all, women themselves begin to perceive this union as something stable and unchanging, and often stop taking care of their appearance, keeping in shape and looking their best.

There is a simple secret on how to avoid this. Throw away your unchanged jeans or washed-out robe and start changing the colors in your clothes even at home. And every time a man will perceive you as new, not as usual, unpredictable, and therefore attractive and desirable.