How a guy holds hands means meaning. What a man in love does and says

Take his hand and then... and for the soul.

Scientists have long established that hundreds of nerve endings located on the palms are in constant contact with the brain.

The human right hand is represented in the cerebral cortex by more than a quarter of its area; it is connected with the left hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for logic and intelligence. Left hand, on the contrary - with the right hemisphere, which is responsible for emotions.

It is known that touching the right hand arouses trust and mutual sympathy. So, by taking a man by the right hand, you have in your hand the key to controlling his consciousness and subconscious. By gently stroking his right hand, you will lull his alertness. And when you move your fingers over his left palm, in a half-whisper you can easily tell him own emotions and "orders". You can give orders without turning on the sound at all - this is called conveying a powerful sensual message to him, which is discussed in more detail in the distance training. But this is a separate topic that requires special training and therefore not everyone can do it.

But how to choose right moment? How take his hand so that he wouldn't pull it away? Catch the wave, and life will provide a lot of opportunities!

For example, a great opportunity is a handshake. It can be tightened by holding the man's hand in one position. And here it is very important to feel that moment when his hand no longer tries to free itself, when it seems to stick to yours and freezes along with it.

You can cover his hand with yours when you are sitting at a table in a cafe or at home (it’s all the same!), and at that moment look at him with a gentle and at the same time motionless gaze.

Or, when you walk down the street together, “catch” his hand in yours, playfully squeezing and unclenching it several times...

Can take his hand under the pretext of telling fortunes using the lines. Or under the pretext of “stretching those hands that are so tired (working with the keyboard).” Pamper him, massage his hands that are tired during the day. Take his hand with one hand and hold his wrist with the other. This is necessary so that careless movements do not cause pain. Grab the area between your thumb and forefinger, and use your thumb to begin making circular movements. Gradually increase your movements, try to feel the smallest muscles and bones.

To add spice to this massage, intertwine your fingers with the man’s fingers and gently pull his hand, then, without untwisting your fingers, perform rotational movements, first in one direction and then in the other. Hold his hand for a few moments, gently squeezing it with both palms, gently pull it and put it back.

Margins around the form

The ability to understand people well helps a lot when building any relationships, including love ones. The better you feel and understand your partner, the fewer mistakes you make when communicating with him, and the easier it is for you to control the situation and direct your relationship. the right direction. In addition, if you see right through a person and know how to distinguish when he is trying to deceive you and when he is telling the truth, then you will definitely not become a victim of a womanizer or an adventurer who wants to make you a toy in his hands.

And in order to understand people well and see through them, you only need one thing - learn to understand the language of non-verbal gestures. Nonverbal gestures can tell a lot about a person, even against his will. The fact is that it is much easier for a person to control his words than to control his facial expressions and gestures. This is how a lie is recognized - when a person says one thing, but his facial expressions and gestures indicate something completely different!

By knowing the language of nonverbal gestures and carefully observing a person’s behavior, you can learn a lot about him important information: how he treats you, what mood he is in this moment finds out what character traits are inherent in him. This knowledge can be especially useful to you when you are in love and want to understand whether your feelings are mutual. So, if you want to learn to understand nonverbal body language, let's start learning it:

Behavior, gestures and facial expressions of a man in love

Recognizing whether a man is in love or not is not always easy. Some men, having fallen in love, try to hide their feelings from the woman they love and try to look cold and unapproachable. And sometimes men, on the contrary, act out a passion that they don’t really feel in order to seduce the woman they like. But nonverbal gestures they never lie, and it is from them that you can easily understand what a man really feels.

First of all, a man in love has a special sparkle in his eyes that simply cannot be ignored. Love inspires a man, gives him additional strength and incentive to live - and this is greatly reflected in his behavior as a whole. A man in love is more active, more energetic and ready for any feat. Especially when the woman he loves is nearby. Some men in love sometimes have trouble controlling themselves due to an overabundance of feelings, and therefore do stupid things or say something out of place. And then they get very embarrassed and worried. In a word, when a man is in love, it shows naked eye!

If a man is in love with a woman, then at the sight of this woman he appearance will change greatly. Wanting to please her, he will certainly poise himself, straighten his back, suck in his stomach, smooth his hair, and straighten his clothes. Very often, men in love begin to behave somewhat demonstratively, subconsciously wanting to attract a woman’s attention to their masculine virtues. Typical nonverbal gestures of a man who wants to please a woman: thumbs tucked into his trouser belt, legs spread wide apart, hands on hips, unbuttoning the top button on his shirt, etc.

If you are in big company men and women and you see that a man, while talking to you, shows clear signs of falling in love, do not rush to think that he is in love with you, but first pay attention to whether the toes of his shoes are directed in your direction. The fact is that when a man likes a woman, he unconsciously turns his body in her direction, or puts his leg forward in the direction desirable woman.

When a man keeps his hands in his pockets thumbs top, this is also a non-verbal gesture with sexual overtones. Moreover, this gesture speaks not only about sexual interest, but also about the desire of a strong and powerful man to conquer the woman he likes and achieve dominance over her.

A clear sign that a man is in love with you - if you meet him too often in the most unexpected places. A man in love is quite capable of starting to follow the woman he loves and arranging such “ random encounters" in order to get to know each other better. And if a man, every time he sees you from afar, immediately begins to smile, comes up to you first and starts a conversation on some abstract topic, you can rest assured that he is trying to make friends with you, in order to then transfer the relationship to the category of close ones.

Do not forget that the eyes are the mirror of a person’s soul, and therefore they necessarily reflect the feelings that a person is currently experiencing. Look carefully into the eyes of the man who is courting you. If his gaze is cold and calm, then there can be no question of any passion on his part, even if he crumbles like beads and pours like a nightingale in front of you. If his eyes are wide open, his pupils are slightly dilated, his eyebrows are slightly raised, and his gaze glows with love - you can be sure of this man’s feelings.

And one more very important point: Pay attention to where the man's gaze is directed while talking to you. If he continuously looks into your eyes, we can conclude that the feelings he has for you are deep and sublime. If he looks at your lips, it means he dreams of kissing you. If his gaze glides over your figure, lingering on your chest, hips, legs, he likes you, but he most likely has a purely sexual interest in you.

If a man, while talking with a woman, casually unbuttons a button on his shirt, takes off his watch or jacket, adjusts or loosens his tie - these are also non-verbal gestures with sexual overtones, which indicate that the man is impatient to move on from words to action. That is, to undress and make love to a woman.

In order not to make a mistake and avoid wishful thinking, try to draw conclusions about a man’s attitude towards you not based on one particular sign, but on the basis of an analysis of his entire behavior as a whole. Starting from looks and gestures and ending with actions. Please note: if a man is a womanizer, he will unconsciously try to please any woman who comes into his field of vision. Therefore, in order to state that a man is in love with you, you must have enough good reasons. Don't deceive yourself so you don't be disappointed later!

One of the important signs by which you can judge how a man treats you is the distance at which he prefers to communicate with you. The fact is that each person has a personal space (about a meter), into which he allows only the closest people. If a man does not approach you closer than a meter during a conversation, then it is unlikely that he is going to get closer to you and let you into his life. But if a man always tries to come close to you, this probably means that he is not against transferring your relationship to the category of close ones.

One hundred percent sign that clearly indicates that a man likes you is if he consciously or unconsciously tries to touch you. If a man takes your hand, hugs you by the shoulders or waist, or supports you by the elbow, then you can rest assured that he at least likes you. By behaving in this way, a man not only shows his affection for you, but also wants to demonstrate to other men that you are his woman, whom they should not claim.

And there is certainly no doubt that a man wants to charm and seduce you if he suddenly begins to brag to you about his life achievements - work, salary, career, car, purchases, etc. This is how he inflates his worth so that you understand what he is strong, successful and wonderful!

Nonverbal Gestures Showing Lack of Interest

Along with non-verbal gestures that indicate love and interest, there are also gestures that indicate indifference and disinterest. And if your interlocutor unconsciously demonstrates such gestures, you can immediately conclude that he is absolutely indifferent to you.

One of the most obvious gestures that indicate a desire to close oneself off from one’s interlocutor and curtail communication is crossing one’s arms over one’s chest. Crossed legs say about the same thing.

If a man crosses his arms or legs during a conversation, and does not even look you in the eye, think about why you annoyed him so much that your company became unpleasant for him. Maybe you were tactless or obsessive?

A man who clearly does not want to make contact with you may behave in the following way: often turn away from you, always look away, cover his ears with his palms, or even invite someone else into your company. This behavior of a man clearly demonstrates his desire to run away from you, protect himself from communicating with you, and get rid of your company.

When a man is bored in your company and has absolutely no interest in you, he may begin to yawn, his gaze will become unfocused and absent-minded. At the same time, the man will look anywhere - at the ceiling, at the clock, at his hands - but not at you.

If a man is nervous, in a hurry somewhere and wants to end the conversation as quickly as possible, the following non-verbal gestures will give him away: the ends of his shoes pointing towards the door, a shifting gaze, fidgeting in his chair and nervous fidgeting in his hands various items. If your interlocutor has already sneaked a glance at his watch, don’t torment him, let him go!

Truly, the ability to understand the language of non-verbal gestures reveals to people huge opportunities in terms of communicating with each other! Even if you communicate with a foreigner who cannot speak a word in your language, nonverbal gestures will help you understand each other and exchange the necessary information. Think about it: gestures and facial expressions arose long before ancient people learned to communicate using words!

But despite the fact that humanity mastered verbal speech many thousands of years ago, the language of non-verbal gestures has not lost its relevance to this day - and this says a lot! So, learn to understand gestures and facial expressions if you want to read in the souls of other people, like in an open book. The better you understand the language of non-verbal gestures, the easier it will be for you to establish relationships with people around you and, in particular, with the opposite sex.

Margins around the form

Why do we sometimes instinctively take the other person's hand? Sometimes it is a gesture of reconciliation, sometimes it is a confirmation of trust, and at some moments he speaks eloquently about love. He took your hand... What does this mean?

The best way to communicate non-verbally

Sign language is rich in ways people express a wide variety of emotions and meanings, such as insult, hostility, friendliness, or approval towards others. Most people use gestures and body language in addition to words when speaking. Many gestures are used by people subconsciously. Some ethnic groups are thought to use gestures more than others, and the culturally acceptable amount of gesturing varies from one place to another. For example, the same gesture in Germany or Scandinavian countries can be expressed with just a slight movement of the hand, while in Italy or Spain the same gesture can be expressed with a sweeping movement of the entire arm. Widely used gestures include the action of pointing at something or someone (this is one of the few gestures whose meaning varies little between different countries

For example, when a Russian counts something on his fingers, he usually bends his fingers inside his palm, while a typical American, on the contrary, straightens his fingers when counting. In the West, fingers spread out in the shape of the Latin letter V mean victory. But before World War II, fingers spread out in the shape of a Latin V, raised above the interlocutor, meant a call to silence. In Italy this is an offensive reference to adultery. and for us it’s a “goat”, that is, an expression of threat in a marginal environment

Gestures of different nations

As a rule, the further south you go, the more animatedly people gesticulate, the richer their facial expressions and body language. In Europe, Italians use the most gestures: admiration feminine beauty they express in no less than five ways. In an hour easy communication a Mexican makes on average 180 gestures, a Frenchman - 120, an Italian - 80, a Finn - one gesture, and an Englishman - none.

Even among neighboring peoples, many gestures have exactly the opposite meaning. In Bulgaria they shake their heads in agreement, and nod - vice versa. Similar behavior is also characteristic of the Greeks, Romanians, Macedonians and Indians.

Residents of Malta, as a sign of denial, touch their chin with their fingertips, turning their hand forward. In this case, the Japanese shake their palms from side to side, and the Arabs throw their heads back.

A Frenchman, finding an idea stupid, knocks himself on the head, and a German slaps his forehead with his palm. The Englishman shows with the same gesture that he is pleased with himself. When the Dutchman, tapping his forehead, draws out forefinger up, this means that he appreciated the intelligence of his interlocutor. But if the finger is pointed to the side, this means that the interlocutor is “not all at home.”

To warn that information is secret, Russians and Germans put a finger to their lips, the British put a finger to their nose, and in Italy the same gesture serves as a warning of danger.

IN English speaking countries a ring of thumb and index finger means “everything is okay.” However, in Japan this gesture means a request to lend money, in Brazil - sexual desire, and in France - a distrustful attitude towards the words of the interlocutor. In Turkey and Greece, this gesture can be perceived as a hint of the interlocutor's homosexuality.

Lifted up thumb, which is a sign of approval for many peoples, can be perceived painfully by the Arabs. The Japanese do not welcome handshakes, much less pats on the shoulder; for them, touching an interlocutor during a conversation is an unacceptable liberty.

In Portugal, a gesture in the form of two index fingers is tantamount to the insult “horned” and means that the interlocutor is being cheated on by his wife. This gesture is seen as a strong insult, in particular, it served as the reason for the resignation in July 2009 of the Portuguese Minister of Economy, Manuel Pinho. During a debate in the Portuguese Parliament, the minister showed “horns” to his opponent from the Communist Party. The offensive gesture caused outrage among parliamentarians, as a result of which the minister had to resign and the prime minister had to make a public apology for his former colleague.

Greetings

Today, globalization has made many gestures, such as the handshake, understandable throughout the world. But until recently, only Europeans and related peoples shook hands. It is believed that the greeting originated in the Middle Ages, when knights showed each other that they were not holding their weapons at the ready. Residents of the Middle East kissed when they met, Indians folded their hands in front of their chests, and the Chinese also shook hands, but not with each other, but with themselves. The Maasai extended their hand to the person they met, after spitting on it, and representatives of the neighboring Luo people, as a sign of respect, spat on the person they met.

Scandinavian Siamese and New Zealand Maori rubbed noses. Samoans sniffed each other when greeting. The Mongols licked each other's cheeks. Tibetans stuck out their tongues and at the same time right hand They took off their hat and touched their ear with their left hand. Many Asian peoples had complex greeting ceremonies: youngest first greeted the elder, the subordinate greeted the boss, the walking greeted the sitting one, and so on.

Parting

Saying goodbye occurs differently among different peoples: Russians raise their palm and swing it back and forth. In Italy they do the same, but at the same time they turn the palm towards themselves. The English move their palms very slowly from side to side, and expressive Latin Americans, when saying goodbye (as well as hello), hug and slap each other on the back.

Gestures in relationships

Have you noticed that couples in love often hold each other’s hands, but people with a respectable “ family experience“do they do this less and less often?... Because they don’t love each other so much anymore?

In fact, this gesture - taking another person by the hand - is a real sacrament! After all, in the center of the human palm there is an important chakra, energy point, through which we can emit, feel and receive energy.

We love to feel the touch of a loved one, a child, to hold his hand - thus receiving pleasure and to some extent controlling his actions: now he is protected...

Why do we sometimes instinctively take the other person's hand? Sometimes it is a gesture of reconciliation, sometimes it is a confirmation of trust, and at some moments he speaks eloquently about love... He took your hand... What does this mean?

* If he only holds your fingers and pulls them towards himself, it means that this person is not confident in himself or feels so at the moment - he is looking for your support and protection.

* When a person wants to dominate in a relationship, he covers your hand with his, holding you so that his hand is on top of yours.

* If a man squeezes your hand hard until it hurts, it means you are a passionate type. Whether this is good or bad is up to you to decide: passion in bed can also be combined with a very tough, or rather, self-loving character.

* Only people in love, driven by the desire to possess each other, interlace their fingers.

* The sexiest gesture is touching the very center of your palm with your finger. However, every person guesses the meaning of this gesture without words...

When we try to take someone's hand, we are invading their personal space, we must always remember this. This zone can be represented as air bubble, which each of us inflates and contracts depending on the circumstances. And we would rather agree to narrow its boundaries in a crowded subway car than, say, in an office.

Define the boundaries of personal space

The dimensions of personal space depend on the origin of the person, his social status, personal preferences, culture, and degree of familiarity with the person approaching him. According to the American anthropologist Edward T. Hall, on average up to 0.5 m is occupied intimate area, intended for those closest to you; from 0.5 m to 1.2 m - a personal area for communicating with close friends, from 1.2 m to 3.7 m - a social area suitable for business communication. Violation of these boundaries by strangers makes us feel uncomfortable.

For this reason, it is right to keep your distance at the beginning of a relationship. And touching another person's hand - even if it is not a romantic gesture at all - is preferably the right time and in appropriate situation. Your attempt to touch someone you just met may irritate the other person, although he will smile sweetly back, not wanting to offend you. As the relationship develops, we allow the other closer to our intimate zone.

Find out the interlocutor's intentions

There is an easy way to find out whether the other person is ready to let you into his personal space - move your personal belongings (for example, a purse, a notebook, cigarettes) closer to him. Such objects are perceived by others as an extension of our body. When you sit with someone else at the same table, you follow the unspoken rule that half the table is yours and half is the other person's space.

“Invasion” of your items into your territory stranger will most likely perceive it with irritation, and you will notice his discomfort. Only close friends, family members and lovers are oblivious to these movements. If a woman moves her bag closer to a man, this may be a sign that she likes him and would like a closer relationship.

Consider cultural differences

Like all nonverbal gestures, tactile contact perceived differently in different cultures. In the West, holding hands is a romantic gesture. When we see two people joining their palms, we can easily assume that they have a close relationship. Therefore, if you do not want to be misunderstood, do not hold hands with people you are not interested in, even if they are the first to make contact.

Many Western men do not hold each other's hands for fear of being mistaken for homosexuals. But in Arab culture, this is a friendly gesture that has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

What does this gesture mean? When a man takes a woman's hand, it can also mean several things:

• romantic affection and deep connection;
• uncertainty or fear of losing it;
• trying to calm her down when she's upset;
• superiority - he is the one who plays the main role in the relationship;
• an attempt to show the whole world that she belongs to him and only him;
• showing off;
• he is proud to be seen next to this woman, but this does not mean that he values ​​​​his relationship with her.

Taller or stronger?

Most books on body language will tell you that when partners hold hands, the leader's hand is always on top. However, a study by psychologists at Temple University (Philadelphia), conducted back in 1998, showed that there may be other factors that influence the way we hold hands:

Floor: The man's hand in a heterosexual couple is much more likely to be over the woman's hand (regardless of their relationship).

Height: in a couple where the man is taller or the same height as the partner, his hand is on top more often than in a couple where the man is shorter than the woman.

What to do if your lover doesn't want to take your hand?

Walking hand in hand through the streets is not a pleasure for everyone. Many people do not consider it necessary to publicly demonstrate their feelings, no matter how deep they may be. If your husband or wife avoids such poetic settings, this does not mean that he (she) does not love you. Most likely, he finds it difficult to relax in in public places. Perhaps he (she) is afraid that, having discovered his love for you, he will look weak, vulnerable, infantile. Changing this belief is not easy, but you can try the following:

1. Before you grab your companion's hand in public, conduct the experiment described above to understand whether he is in the mood for tactile contact with you in principle. If he keeps his distance, don't take it personally. Instead of being offended, gently explain that the touch of loved ones is calming and helps you feel better.
2. Work on your relationship as a whole: if you don't have the desire to hug and touch each other when you're alone, then it's hard to expect that desire to appear in public.
3. Be honest with yourself: do you want to hold your partner's hand in public because you love him or because you want to show others that this is your boyfriend/girlfriend? Or to prove that you have power over him? If your intentions are not pure, your partner may feel hurt.

But in fact, the question of what men in love do and say is really interesting and very unique. In fact, there is no single set of special differences by which you can immediately determine whether a person loves you and how much. Everyone knows that each of us is an individual, and accordingly, our expressions of emotions are different. Some guys read poetry, dedicate songs and arrange romantic dates. And someone silently fixes all the equipment in the house, goes shopping and helps with everything. But, nevertheless, in the behavior of everyone young man there is something barely perceptible, but so sincere and real, which without words confirms his love.

First of all, it's the look. No matter how much a guy denies or hides his feelings, his gaze will definitely give him away. When you love a person, you want to constantly look at him, look into his eyes, study every millimeter of his body. And even if they try to hide their feelings and constantly look away, all the same, at some point the man forgets about control and mindlessly looks at his beloved. And also, in this look you can see special sparkles of feelings and desire. This is a kind of admiration mixed with erotic fantasies. When a man loves, a woman truly feels that she is being looked at as if she were a goddess. It's all about this look. He expresses the full range of emotions of a young man. And we all know that love evokes many positive feelings. It seems to us that the object of love is amazing, beautiful, the best and unforgettable. If a woman who is far from self-confident begins to feel very attractive and special under someone’s gaze, there is no doubt that this guy loves her madly. And such emotions and changes in attitude towards himself appear because the young man really sees her as a queen and conveys his feelings to her on an energetic, emotional level.

Several "symptoms" of falling in love

Another confirmation of love in nonverbal communication between people, this is, of course, the desire to touch a person. In such cases, a guy can sit next to you and, as if by chance, touch your hands or hair - he does this carefully and almost imperceptibly. Even if he is sitting opposite you, he will still hook your foot or touch your hand when he is passing something on. Well, if a young man constantly takes your hands in his, locks them, strokes your fingers, runs through your hair, constantly hugs, kisses your hands and does not let go even in your sleep - he loves you, and very honestly and sincerely and without wanting anything in return. When feelings are absolutely pure and sincere, a person simply needs to be close to the object of love and touch him. Moreover, this does not always have sexual innuendo. In many cases, it all comes down to the desire to show your love and tenderness through touching, stroking, kissing your hands, cheekbones, and hair. This is revealing highest feeling, in something parental, when you want, as if to wrap your loved one in your tenderness and protect with kisses and hugs from all the evil in the world.

In general, than more man hugs a woman, the more he presses him to himself, the stronger his feelings. Thus, he simultaneously wants to protect her from potential offenders and show all possible rivals that she belongs only to him and he certainly will not give her to anyone.

If a guy touches your hands

Many women believe that the indicator of love is whether a guy offers his hand, opens doors, and other similar things. In fact, this is not an indicator of love, but an indicator of education. But if the man is not a true gentleman, this does not mean that he cannot truly love. This guy just expresses his love in other ways. He may not give you a bouquet of flowers, but he will personally install new windows in your house or will always repair your car. Gallantry is, of course, very good. But not all gallant men I express with my actions romantic feelings. Some of them are simply accustomed to behave this way with women, and some, with such actions, lull our attention and distract us from their serious shortcomings and mistakes. Therefore, if you want to understand whether a guy really loves you, decide how much he is ready to help you morally and financially. This does not mean that a young man is obliged to constantly console, have endless conversations about how the whole world is terrible, and you are the best, and buy gold rings every week. We are talking about something else. For example, about whether he is able to come to you at any time and fix problems with your computer (water supply, electricity), whether he can pick you up from work in late time, and it doesn’t matter whether by car or on foot, and whether he will really support you difficult moments your life and find real ways problem solution. The fact that a guy is ready to remove a star from the sky for a girl is certainly wonderful. But, real love It manifests itself not in abstract concepts, but in whether he will cook dinner when you come home tired from work or clean the apartment if you don’t feel well.

Actions say it all

All women tend to believe in romance and expect feelings to be expressed only through... romantic actions. This is not surprising, because we are all brought up on romantic films and fairy tales about princesses, for whom knights on a white horse perform feats. But, if you think wisely and maturely, you should understand that love manifests itself not only in this, but sometimes not in this at all.

And how does a guy in love prove his feelings by what he says? A man in love tries to make his woman’s life easier and happier. He is not trying to kill dragons and travel to distant lands to bring the firebird. Instead of this, loving guy will look for ways to earn enough money to provide for his woman and save her from unnecessary worries and work. Loving man will always be there, and every day in his gaze you can read: I love you. And when he hugs you, you will understand that there are no castles and walls, no knights from women's novels will not be able to protect you from adversity, as he will do.