What is love: definitions. What is true love like? Psychology of love and sex

Love has been studied for hundreds of years. Poets, writers dedicated their works to him, doctors, scientists, sociologists conducted and are still conducting research, developing tests.

study types of love and in psychology which led to the development of successful therapies.

Concept and properties

Love - concept difficult to describe, it is expressed in each person in his own way.

This is a feeling of deep affection for a person, a desire to be close to him.

Often true love is confused with mania, emotional dependence on a certain individual.

When a person is in love, he idealizes the other side. The object seems attractive, interesting, bright, kind. The negative qualities of a person are practically invisible or they are not given much importance.

Often this causes deep problems, dependence on a person.

Love, like other psychological phenomena, has properties:

Love is what allows you to create and maintain a family.

However, there are several types of this feeling, and not all of them are capable of bringing joy. Therefore, we must learn to recognize true love from imaginary.

Classification

What kinds of love are there? Different researchers introduce their own classification of love. Traditionally, the following five types are distinguished and investigated:

Based on this, psychologists can predict the behavior of the individual and find the most successful way of therapy.

Varieties in philosophy

Philosophy has also dealt with the study of love. This made it possible to highlight the classification and better understand the origin and development of this feeling.

1. Agape. Classic love. Here the heart and mind are combined, there is willpower. Main components: self-sacrifice, dedication, fidelity. Agape is characteristic of strong and mature personalities, it can take many years to reach this state. It was this kind of philosopher Aristotle considered true love.
2. Philia. , arises gradually, the personal qualities of a person matter, the mind is present. Feelings are calm and deep. There is mutual respect and support.
3. Storge. Kindred love. Occurs in happy families. There is tenderness, guardianship, support. Family members are accepted as they are, with their own strengths, weaknesses, needs, interests. Maternal love belongs to this category.
4. Eros. Flash, passion. The mind has no power, only emotions are present. Feelings come on suddenly and are hard to control. A person does not notice the flaws in the object of adoration. Love is fickle - it fades away, then flares up with renewed vigor, which exhausts the person himself.

   Such love can give many positive moments, a feeling of happiness, but it can also cause deep suffering if it is not mutual or, frightened, the partner prefers to leave.

In Greek philosophy these four types are the main ones. However, three more species were identified, which are also worth paying attention to:

In philosophy, other types of love are also distinguished: maternal, brotherly, love for oneself, God, and friendship.

Solovyov identifies three types:

• descending. In this case, love gives. One example is the mother's feelings for the child;
• ascending. It is love that receives;
• love where there are two kinds of relationship: giving and receiving. Feelings between spouses can be attributed to this type.

Philosophers have succeeded quite well study the phenomenon of love which was later reflected in the theories of psychology.

What can be love? Types of love according to Plato:

Types in psychology

Psychologists, studying the phenomenon of feeling, offer various classifications of love.

One of the famous belongs Robert Stenberg:

1. affection. Feelings for a friend. There is no passion, strong emotions, obligations.
2. Passionate love. The basis is physiology, desire. Occurs suddenly. There is no interest in the personality of the partner, sexual desire is the main point.
3. Formal. Based primarily on a sense of duty.
4. romantic. There is both romance and physical attraction.
5. friendly. It differs from the first type by the presence of certain obligations to another person.
6. Perfect. There is romance, physical intimacy and responsibility.

Psychologists distinguish other types. This makes it easier to find methods of work when you need to recover from a negative addiction, better understand yourself and your partner:

A person is not always able to independently assess the level and type of his love. Therefore, if there is discomfort in the soul, strong feelings, then the best way out is to visit a psychologist who will help create a balance in the inner world.

In literature

The feeling of love is one of the central ones in many literary works. Its description enables the reader to empathize with the characters, to immerse themselves more deeply in the story.

Why is the first love not forgotten? find out right now.

About 5 types of love in this video:

Real feeling - what is it?

In connection with the multifaceted understanding of feelings, the question arises - what is true love? How to determine the presence of it in yourself or another person?

Each person loves in his own way, but still it is necessary to distinguish imaginary love, to which the dependence belongs, and true.

Imaginary love, dependence depletes the nervous system, is the cause of deep negative and tragic experiences. A person reaches out to a partner, but at the same time it’s bad next to him.

This duality leads to deep personality problems, often becoming the cause of dangerous actions and auto-aggression. Love addiction requires long-term therapy.

True love is different. This is harmony, in relationships, in the soul. It is warmth and tenderness. Partners not only give, but also take.

Real love- this is an understanding that the other person is free, the ability to let go, not to impose, not to demand. True love brings happiness and peace to both partners.

A person has awareness, which means that for personal happiness, he can learn to control his emotions. Love is a wonderful feeling, and it should bring joy and harmony.

Does love at first sight exist? will tell you about it.

12 Signs You've Found True Love:

The 20th century is a period of various discoveries in various fields of science. Psychology is no exception. Scientists have studied the emotional sphere of a person, namely feelings. As a result of these competitions, some features were highlighted. The list included the types of love defined by the philosophers of ancient Greece. The presented article will make a brief overview on this topic.

The first kind is love-storge

This type implies a feeling of understanding and friendship with a partner. People who experience such love listen to each other's needs, know how to negotiate and compromise. Such relationships are filled with close communication and deep spiritual intimacy. Separation is not terrible for such couples, because the fidelity of a partner for them is absolute and unshakable, and feelings are resilient and will never fade away.

Storge in the language of antiquity provides for trust. A person who feels such love knows how to forgive and wait. There is no selfishness in the relationship that has arisen as a result of storge. It happens that the paths of people can diverge, and they part, but friendship still remains, and in case of a difficult situation, they help each other.

The second kind is agape love.

This species radiates altruism and indicates adoration for their partner. Sacrificial love, in which a person can forgive his beloved a lot, give up himself, his desires and needs. Often the first feeling in life has the features of agape, because it is heavy and tragic.

The one who loves gives everything, and he himself receives absolutely nothing but suffering. In principle, love for one's homeland can be compared to agape, when a person agrees to die for his land without asking for anything in return. The highest manifestation of such love is the sacrifice of oneself and one's interests for the good of a partner.

The third kind is love-eros

What does platonic love mean compared to passionate feeling? Eros is able to maintain a love flame for a long time. The intensity of the emotions that a person experiences is simply off scale, and hardly anything compares to these sensations. It often happens that passion captures a person completely, as they say, in a whirlpool with his head, and it is difficult for her to perceive reality.

In this situation, psychological dependence on a beloved partner is manifested, and accordingly, a person can do a lot, often illegal or not very good from a moral point of view (deception, murder, theft), so that his beloved or beloved stays with him.

Separation seems simply impossible, since constant contact is needed to maintain eros. In the event of a break in a relationship, unbearable pain falls upon a person. Events are perceived as tragic, and even love for the mother may not stop suicide.

The fourth kind is love-mania

The presented view is also called love-obsession. Mania carries an extreme danger, because a person, in addition to love, constantly feels jealousy, is unsure of his partner and does not trust him. A person can remain in captivity of this feeling for a long time.

A partner who is loved must have great patience and the ability to forgive. Often such a feeling is manifested in choleric people, with their impulsiveness and intensity of experiences. An individual experiencing love-mania is characterized by low self-esteem, excessive vulnerability, anxiety and self-doubt, which makes mania dangerous.

Fifth kind - pragma love

4 types of love have already been described, let's proceed to the next one. Calmness and prudence are characteristics of this type. Although we are talking about feelings, pragma is characterized by rationality and reason. She can suppress all other emotions. Consciousness always accompanies such a person, and he does not lose his head from passion.

Emotional colors are rather dull in the experiences of pragma, but quite reliable and kind. The types of love are not easy to describe, but this one can be said that over the years it only grows stronger and flares up with a bright, calm flame. Reasonable calculation, pragmatic marriage - pragma love is cultivated here.

The sixth kind - love-game

It is difficult to call such love true and real, because a person plays it. He is not distinguished by either loyalty or devotion. Such an individual is indifferent to the feelings of another person, and his own are not characterized by depth. The principle of "quantity, not quality" leads to a large number of short-term relationships and a lack of plans for the near future.

Easy and carefree relationships are their desire, and serious affection frightens and frightens such people. Is it possible to call love-game a real feeling? It is unlikely, because other types of love provide not only for their own pleasure.

Naturally, the emotional sphere of a person tends to change over time. It deepens or becomes more superficial. The presented types of love can even pass into each other, for example, from eros to friendly storge.

Cultural differences in the psychology of love

There is nothing surprising in the fact that different cultures and societies look at love and its features in different ways. Psychologists led by Robert Levine conducted a study on the topic "Types of love in psychology: cultural differences." Respondents were asked if they would marry the ideal person, considering all the qualities, but without love. Representatives of the Western world and countries where Western values ​​are cultivated (England, Brazil, Australia, USA) gave a negative answer, but subjects from developing Eastern countries (Thailand, India, Pakistan) accept marriage without love.

A study was also made of attitudes towards romantic love among young people from the United States, Japan and Germany. Scientists have determined that the most romantic were the German students, but the Japanese are less likely to have this quality. Respondents from the United States were placed in the middle.

In the Western society of individualists, passionate love becomes a stormy experience of the individual. For a while, a person becomes absorbed in this feeling and does not notice what is happening around, forgetting about family and friends. With whom to start a relationship, whom to marry or whom to marry - the individual of Western culture in most cases decides for himself. The same, of course, cannot be said about the eastern countries imbued with collectivism. There, young people should take into account the opinion of the family or the whole community. A good marriage is a calculated marriage. Families often agree on a wedding when the children are just born.

A European in love will think about his feelings, and a Chinese will think about what people will say. Young Asians tend to experience storge or agape love for the most part, while their European brothers are more prone to romantic or eros love.

The Chinese designate close and meaningful relationships with the word "gan quing" and the highest act of love can be helping to repair a water faucet. Europeans in romantic love also see a sexual component with various intense experiences.

For Koreans, the feeling called “jung” is very important, because it is more durable than just passion. In order for "jung" to arise between partners, time and numerous mutual efforts are needed. Over time, this love only intensifies and blossoms.

As you can see, love depends not only on its internal characteristics, but also on cultural characteristics.

Conclusion

It is multifaceted, passionate, calm and tragic. Love for the motherland, for a partner, for children, for parents. This feeling is everywhere and always accompanies our life.

In my work with clients, I often and successfully use this classification - especially in family counseling. So thank you, ancient Greeks! Here, I share. And so, let's go.

Popular on the site: Why do we need love and family? (ed. note)

Mania

The ancient Greeks called this type of love "madness from the gods." Love-mania is considered a punishment. This love is an obsession. She makes a man in love suffer. Write poetry. Don't eat or sleep. In the short term, it is acceptable in healthy relationships, especially in early adolescence.

If it drags on, this indicates a craving for unhealthy relationships, impoverishment of the personality and requires an appeal to a specialist. Especially if love-mania brings suffering to the object of passion. Then the "lover" strives to be near his beloved all the time, tries to control him, experiences insane passion and jealousy.

Also, the lover experiences heartache, confusion, constant tension, insecurity and anxiety. He is completely dependent on the object of adoration. The object - if in order - from such ardent love, on the contrary, begins to avoid the one in love with him and makes attempts to break off relations, to disappear from his life.

This kind of love is destructive. Fortunately, it is short-lived, with the exception of sadomasochistic relationships - which is not very healthy and is treated. To think that the fact that so much was sung by poets and was considered almost the standard of love turned out to be a disease. Ironic. But human society has not yet been so deluded.

Ludus

This is love-sport, love-game, love-excitement or competition. This love is based on sexual desire, but without the desire to bestow. This is consumer love. That is love in reverse. Well, everyone has heard of pickup trucks. Such people can maintain lists of partners and count victories, or simply uncontrollably find a partner for themselves for the evening - without really remembering what happened.

As you understand, men are more inclined to this relationship - but there are no rules without exceptions. Feelings in Ludus are superficial, which means they cannot fully satisfy partners, they always lack something in a relationship, and then the search for other partners begins. In parallel, such sexaholics can maintain relationships with their regular partner.

Agape

It is sacrificial, selfless or unconditional love. The lover is ready for self-sacrifice in the name of the beloved. This love combines mercy, tenderness, reliability and devotion. This kind of love is known to all happy parents. And our children, perhaps, are the only ones who deserve such love, and even then - in early childhood. And when they grow up, it is better for parents to build such rules so that there are no victims.

Agape finds its expression in unceasing responsiveness and constant concern for other people. In partnerships, the line between Agape and masochistic addiction disappears and turns into an equal. That is, it is not allowed. Why? The desire to give more than to take exhausts the giver. Healthy relationships involve a fair exchange.

If Agape is required of you, explain that your partner is confusing something and you are not his parent. Agape can be found in the heart of a church servant serving a major rank, in the heart of a religious fan, a member of a sect. Here she mixes with Mania.

All three types of relationships are based on a feeling of love - but they are completely unsuitable for healthy partnerships. In addition, they bring suffering to one of the partners.

But what are we to do? Cultivate other types of love in your hearts and learn to recognize them - at least in potential - in those around you. The following types of love are useful and pleasant for the soul and body, as well as for family life in general.

Eros

Enthusiastic, passionate love, based primarily on the attractiveness of a loved one, as well as on sexual attraction. What used to be called romance. Now it's just a novel. This love is the joy of owning a partner, the pleasure of his body. In this phase of love, the idealization of the beloved takes place. And then - they themselves understand that Eros is the beginning of all love relationships in the world.

It is believed that this phase of falling in love lasts an average of three years, plus or minus a year, but each couple has their own individual story. Happy are those couples whom Eros visits many times during their life together. In this phase, early hasty marriages are made, happy children are born who grow up in the love of their parents. But these same children can also destroy love-eros - after all, with their appearance it is time to move on to the next stage of love (see below), and not everyone is capable of this.

Philia

The Greeks considered it a kind of platonic love. This is love-friendship. But now it turned out that a good marriage cannot do without it either. Moreover, when Eros fades away, it is Filia who throws firewood that warms family love relationships. If you have Filia, it means that you and your partner have a good time.

Sometimes it’s nice for you to watch a movie or football together, play cards, go hiking or visiting with your children, listen to music or just talk until the morning. Plato praised her as true love. They say about such a partner - we are very attached to each other. In such relationships, both friendly and family, equality and harmony often reign.

Storge

Under this mysterious word lies love for a relative. To a native person. These people have been through a lot together. And maybe they are not enthusiastic about their object - but they will tear for it. And they'll show up if they need help. This is love for someone who is not chosen or was chosen a very long time ago. We all feel this type of love for our Motherland. This is our love for parents. And even a great-aunt from Kyiv - if someone says a crooked word about her.

pragma

It's the same kind of love. Romantics, infantiles and creative personalities are so afraid of this word - but in vain. After all, it is not she who keeps the main value of mankind - the family. This is rational love or love by "calculation". But not to the calculation when a person manipulates another for his own benefit. And when he calculates that he is a good partner in order to walk through life together. A good dose of Pragma in a relationship enriches both partners. Because one is good at this, and the other is good at that. And when they are together - a couple or a family receives comprehensive enrichment.

I also call Pragma the comfort of being together. General views on life, the number and method of raising children, vacation plans. This is when people share common values. For example, we both like to eat well, we buy a lot of products, we talk about what to cook for dinner, we invite guests. Or, we don't bother with it at all. How the absence of Pragma can interfere, it becomes clear if you imagine that one loves to eat and cooks deliciously, and the second does not understand how time and money can be spent on this.

If such a partner tends to devalue the values ​​​​of another, he will begin to condemn and criticize the lover of food. And he will feel misunderstood and unhappy. But if there is no Pragma - but there is mutual respect for the values ​​of the other - the relationship will survive this.

So how do you choose a partner in the first stage? See if he loves anyone in his life at all. And how does he love? Is it active love - or just words. If a person does not love anyone in the world - but loves only you - most likely, this is an addiction or symbiotic attachment. And if he loves mom, dad, children, and finally a cat - and takes good care of them - you are in reliable and loving hands.

love moral intimate

Love is an individual creativity of a person, so we can say: how many people, so many types of love. And yet, even in this most mysterious and incomprehensible area, there are some patterns that make it possible to distinguish 8 main types of relationships and the types of love based on them.

1. Love-storge is love-tenderness, including deep understanding and compassion. Such a feeling is characterized by the ability to compromise, goodwill and the ability to smooth out contradictions. This form of relationship is characterized by: solidarity with a partner in everything, indulgence to shortcomings, striving for a harmonious, stable, pleasant and relaxed relationship. This is the ideal form of love for family life, but on the condition that the partner will be sensitive. The excessive vulnerability of this feeling does not make it hardy under any circumstances. The attraction of the soul is of great importance and prevails over the physical attraction.

2. Love-mania - prolonged emotional ecstasy, obsession with love, overestimation of its significance, which leads to strong emotional upheavals, reckless actions, and even dramas. This feeling is strong, possessive, demanding, longing for complete reciprocity, but also capable of many compromises. This love is very enduring, even when it is unrequited. It is often capable of heroism and sacrifice, and even of reckless devotion. It is full of contradictions, as it is very dependent on a changeable mood. Quarrels, sharp contrasts in behavior, even fleeting betrayals are frequent in it. It is the cause of unpredictable actions and disregard for generally accepted norms of behavior.

3. Analita love is a form of love characterized by the desire for a calm and rational relationship. This love is individually selective, with high demands of its bearer for the object of feelings and with a tendency to be disappointed in him if he did not live up to any expectations. This exactingness is devoid of idealism, but often exceeds the real possibilities of people. This feeling is intellectual, with a tendency to reflect and analyze the behavior of a partner without plunging into his spiritual world. It has an abstract-generalizing character with tendencies to draw conclusions detached from the object of feelings; there are few emotions and sensations. Does not differ in compliance. Striving for a reasonable and harmonious combination of intellectual requests and physical desires, the owner of Analita demands many concessions from the partner

4. Love-pragma - sober, pragmatic and reasonable love according to spiritual or material calculation. Despite some selfishness, she is set on a fair balance between "give" and "receive". Assumes an attitude towards the object of his feelings with respect and a desire to understand him. It is natural and rational in the manifestation of its needs. It is characterized by a desire for mutual satisfaction of desires and interests, although personal interests in it are sometimes placed above the interests of a partner. Habit strengthens it, over time, the object of feelings turns into a necessary property, carefully guarded. Unions are associated with it, which are commonly called marriages of convenience.

5. Love-agape - love is tolerant and idealistic. It is based on sacrifice. This is a fairly stable feeling with elements of fatalism. Its owner is able to forgive a lot and take self-denial for granted. Refined and poetic, such love can exist for a long time away from the object of feelings, even without hopes for reciprocity. There is a desire in her to protect her illusions from the reality that destroys them, therefore in such relationships there is a tendency to self-deception. As a result, it has a complex, capricious and contradictory character. And, although she is more inclined to humility, at times she can show a rebellious spirit. Sometimes a person who has this form of love can make drastic decisions, for example, on their own initiative to part with a loved one. But the image of a loved one, even after separation, can be faithful for a long time. The spiritual feeling always prevails over the physical.

6. Love-philia is a feeling based on a childishly naive passion for the unknown, including in the field of sexual relations. In the erotic life of a person of this type, subtle caresses and psychologism of relationships are of the greatest importance. This feeling breeds friendship with deep respect and mutual understanding. It has a very selective character, unites like-minded people and stimulates the mutual development of abilities. This is the love of equal partners, it does not tolerate coercion and, moreover, dictate in anything. People who are characterized by this kind of love can only be faithful to the chosen one who does not disappoint them. And without regret they part with partners who have not lived up to expectations, alien in spirit and way of thinking. Such people are much more tolerant of sexual disharmony.

7. Love-eros is a passionate, powerful and sensual attraction to the object of love. Appearance and demeanor of a loved one are of great value. They evoke aesthetic feelings and admiration for external perfection, often exaggerated - faces, figures, gaits. People in whom this type of love dominates strive for harmony of soul and body, therefore they are able to turn a blind eye to minor flaws. Having caught fire with love, they are capable of great dedication, constantly improving their manners and ways of expressing feelings, as well as the shape of their body, the beauty of clothes, the aesthetics of the environment. Willingly adapt and adapt to a partner. Great importance is attached to physical pleasures. Having not found the desired harmony, they are forever disappointed in the object of their feelings and quite easily part with it.

8. Victoria love is a type of erotic behavior that is farthest from intellectual and spiritual demands than the rest. It lacks depth and selectivity. It is based on a pleasant sensation of conquering the object of your attraction. It's kind of a fighting game. If the vanquished does not resist, interest in him quickly disappears. For introverts or biverts (uncommunicative people), this feeling can be very stable and reliable when a loved one is seen as a necessary property. Attention to the partner is manifested in the form of constant demands, implying the best intentions. Such a feeling can be quite selfish, sometimes even alien to compassion. For extroverts (sociable), this form of love often lacks constancy, since it is inherent in the desire for sexual diversity, which gives a feeling of joy from new victories. The partner is often seen as an adversary or as a fortress to be taken by storm. They look down on him, without condescension and without striving for complete mutual understanding.

Love has many interpretations. Even a couple of lovers is not always ready to understand each other. If you understand the feelings of a partner, then it is quite possible to predict the future of the relationship.

American psychologist D.A. Lee, trying to identify patterns in intimate relationships between a man and a woman, identified six varieties of love.

The first variety is sensual love, but based primarily on devotion, and only then on physical attraction. In this case, the lovers have something to talk about - both in bed and out of it, while not only their own problems are discussed, but also a keen interest in what worries the partner is shown. Such a person will not assert himself at your expense, protects you in every possible way, takes care of you, appreciates your feelings and is happy because you feel good with him (her). Perhaps this is closest to what we used to call "true love."

The second variety looks different - love-game, which is based mainly on physical, sexual attraction. A man in such cases does not waste time on a "run-up" - he takes a woman (or tries to take it) with an attack right away. As a person, he is not very interested in you - he only needs your sexuality. He can “parallel” meet with other women and is not inclined to be jealous of you for other men. The same can be said about a woman prone to love play. In fact, such partners, except for sex, have nothing in common. However, they tend to believe that sex is love. The feelings of such a "subject" are superficial and fleeting. He does not tolerate responsibility, and if you do not demand it from him and put up with what you have, your connection, which brings you sensual joys, can last quite a long time. In practice, such relationships least of all correspond to the concept - true love.

The third type is love-friendship. As a rule, it is reliable, durable and gives confidence that in any case and in any situation you will find understanding and support in your partner. Within the framework of this calm, without revelry of the passions of love, you feel confident and protected. However, here lies the danger caused by monotony - you may become uninteresting, bored, and boredom is the death of love ...

The fourth variety is mania. Such love is like an obsession. Passion and jealousy are two whales on which she rests, and the absence of a third can be fatal. A person obsessed with such love is an egoist, constantly in need of self-affirmation. He is characterized by constant nit-picking, suspicion, humiliation over trifles. He is pathologically jealous, but not because he needs you so much and is afraid of losing you, but because he is afraid of losing power over you. You will be oppressed and suggestions from him that you owe him everything, and love and care on your part will be taken for granted. As a rule, there is no strength in such relationships.

But the fifth variety is the most reasonable option (“because I need you”). It is foolish to expect a variety of passions and surprises from such love, here feelings are controlled. So you should weigh all the pros and cons of such an alliance. You will be loved as long as you live up to the chosen standard. "Riots" are excluded, any attempt to get out of the "Procrustean bed" is fraught with a break.

And finally, the last kind - sacrificial love, reckless, capable of anything - if only the beloved (beloved) was well. Such a feeling, as a rule, does not happen early, it matures long enough and ripens into completely selfless love. However, exceptions to the rules are also possible in it - it can arise at first sight, and then - like in a whirlpool, with your head: In any case, the danger is that the readiness for self-sacrifice, unlimited paternal (maternal) care can does not promote sexual desire. And love without sex is like insipid food, tasteless and colorless. Such a flawed love cannot be considered complete in any way.

So, love is not only the highest moral value, but also a real earthly attitude and attraction, and a relatively independent desire and need, and in this capacity it is the highest form of interpersonal communication.

What is love and what happens to the body when this feeling appears. Psychologists are trying to unravel the mystery of love in order to explain the nature of love in relation to the subconscious and consciousness in a person. Scientists in the field of chemistry and biology study what reactions are awakened under the influence of this strong feeling. Philosophers, for their part, are trying to explain how attachments and falling in love arise and how these feelings differ from true love. There are several types of love, and psychologists, biologists and chemists agree on this. Consider the types of love from a psychological and physiological point of view

Types of love: explanations of psychologists and biologists

Chemistry and love: what substances are produced and create a feeling of love

Under the influence of biochemical processes in the body, a feeling of love arises. It is the production of hormones that contributes to the emergence of interest in the opposite sex, affection, love.

Hormones and chemicals that activate love:

1. Oxytocin

This hormone is produced in excess during breastfeeding. In addition, at the first meeting between partners, interest appears and oxytocin conveys an impulse from the brain that indicates a suitable candidate - that this particular person is suitable for procreation. During the first touches of hands, lips and bodies, oxytocin is produced, determining the sensitivity of a partner. This hormone is responsible for the feeling of affection, it helps to maintain good relationships for many years. It is only necessary to hug more often in order to feel the other person through touch.

2. Phenylethylamine

The chemical substance - phenylethylamine - in small doses can plunge into the abyss of crazy love. If this compound is produced in excess, love develops into an obsession, illness and madness. Its action is similar to that of a drug. Phenylethylamine stimulates euphoria during intercourse with a partner, arousal and strong sexual desire. Like any drug, phenylethylamine is addictive and the former passion passes, such vivid emotions and feelings fade away, and the partner no longer causes such violent experiences.

3. Dopamine

It is the hormone of pleasure and purposefulness. It is developed from the first minutes of falling in love and provides a desire for intimacy with the object of one's love. The maximum amount of this hormone is produced in the adrenal glands during sex or meals.

4. Endorphins

These hormones are produced for the purpose of satisfying intimacy with a loved one or loved one. During bodily contact with a partner (touching hands, kissing, hugging), endorphins are released and relationships move into a phase of calm, security and well-being.

Is love a disease or a high feeling?

The original theory of love was put forward by the American professor Dorothy Tennov - considering this feeling like a disease that has its own clinical picture. Passionate love exists only for the sake of procreation and raising children together.

Symptoms of love as a disease, according to D. Tennov:

Constant thoughts about the object of love;
. an acute need for reciprocal love;
. euphoria;
. exaggeration of the positive qualities of an adored partner;
. focus on feelings for the object and the object of love itself;
. sexual attraction to a partner.

The psychologist argued that sex without being in love can be pleasurable, but being in love without sexual contact cannot exist. Explaining this by the fact that love is based on sexual attraction and only then all other feelings. According to the professor, falling in love disappears after a while - from 1 to 4 years.

Three facets of love in psychology

Zeke Rubin, the famous psychologist who studies romantic love, viewed it as the trio of love's foundations: attachment, caring, intimacy. The psychologist has developed a scale depending on each component. On this scale, you can even determine the degree of love.

Love and colors: every kind of love is identified with a color scheme

Scientist and psychologist John Alan Lee considered love in the context of a palette of shades, defining love in three colors. The psychologist shared three styles of love or falling in love: Eros, Ludos, Storge.

Eros is the perfect love for the perfect partner.

Ludos - love-game.

Storge - love-friendship.

The feeling of love is subordinated to friendship

Psychologist Elaine Hatfield emphasizes compassionate and passionate love. Passionate love is strong emotions that are difficult to manage, they are impetuous and deep. Compassionate love is ideally a metamorphosis of the passionate feeling of love. This kind of love is based on friendships, when people enjoy spending time together.

The listed types of love, distinguished by psychologists, are very rarely in their pure form. Most likely, love is so multifaceted that it is difficult to single out its types and explain this feeling. For each person, love means its own patterns, it is almost impossible to combine them into one whole. How many opinions, so many types of love.