How to deal with negative thoughts. How to get rid of negative thoughts

Negative thoughts periodically visit everyone. And this is normal as long as they do not overshadow everything that is happening.

Being in a normal state, we are able to resist them. A depressive mood leads to the fact that negativity settles in the head for a long time, affecting all areas of life. Even those that objectively have no problems. Constantly thinking about and replaying these thoughts helps them take root. Therefore, from a fleeting bad thought a firm belief is formed: “I am bad”, “Others are doing better”, “I am not worthy of my loved ones” - all these beliefs form an incorrect assessment of the situation.

Only by overcoming negative emotions can you take the path to recovery. It is important to remember that bad thoughts are not justified or confirmed. They are just thoughts. We endow them with significance and seriousness ourselves.

A long-term pessimistic attitude drives us into a depressive “abyss.” The deeper a person dives into it, the more difficult it is to get out of it later.

To prevent depression from getting worse, you need to understand how to get rid of negative thoughts.

8 Methods to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts

Knowing how to get rid of the negativity within yourself, you can overcome depressive syndrome and prevent the negative influence of bad thoughts from growing throughout your life. Let's look at the basic techniques.

Method No. 1 – detailed planning for tomorrow.

We need to think through the near future as carefully as possible. Make a rough plan. Concretize it on paper. Fill in all the empty gaps so that you don't have time to think about problems that don't exist. By solving real problems in accordance with the list, you will relieve yourself of the “burden of thoughts”, raising your own importance in your eyes. It is possible that it will be difficult for you to get involved in work - after all, it is more common to spend time replaying past and non-existent situations. To force yourself to act, you need to choose the least difficult tasks. At the start, you need to act slowly and without tension. Gradually move on to solving more complex issues.

Mark those items that have already been completed. When you clearly see your achievements, you will realize that the “worthless type, incapable of anything” is not about you.

Method No. 2 – adequate assessment of the events that occurred.

State in writing what happens to you in a day or week. Of all the events, highlight achievements and results. For convenience, they can be marked “D” and “P”. Identify those actions that gave you pleasure, put the letter “U” next to them.

Evaluate the events that happened to you over a specific period of time. You will realize how wonderful your life is. You won't have to think so hard about how to get rid of negative thoughts. After all, your head will be filled with events that give pleasure.

Method No. 3 – situation-thought-emotion.

It is reinforced by a person’s confidence that everything is very bad. Everything that happens is perceived as bad and disgusting. Naturally, negative awareness gives a corresponding mood. We need to force ourselves to understand that this is our personal perception of the situation. Then, instead of immersing yourself in a destructive atmosphere, you will want to get rid of the negativity within yourself.

For example, an acquaintance of yours walked past you and didn’t say hello. The reality is that the person was simply absorbed in his own thoughts, was in a hurry somewhere and did not notice you. But you are no longer noticed. Surely the thought that you are an unworthy person has already slipped through and taken root. Or maybe you thought that they were shy about you and that in general you were an “empty place”? Naturally, after a bad thought came the same emotion. Or maybe not alone. In such a situation, we are overwhelmed by resentment, disappointment, pain.

By tracking the chain of events, it will become easier for you to understand that this is only your vision of the situation. Don't know how to get rid of negative emotions? To start, just look at the situation from the outside.

Method No. 4 – revisions of your own thoughts.

Analyze the thoughts that befell you during an unpleasant situation. Maybe this is not a reaction to the event itself. Perhaps the negativity arose due to third-party factors on which you “pinned” other events. For example, you have had a headache since the morning. The remark received from the boss has nothing to do with a negative attitude. So don't be dramatic: you are not the worst employee, and the manager just made a valid point. If he points out mistakes to you day after day, this may also be a consequence of either your fatigue (then take a vacation), or indicate that your boss is, in principle, a nitpicker. And perhaps, again, this has nothing to do with you.

Learn to stop the flow of thoughts in time by asking yourself a direct question: “What exactly hurt me?” or “What exactly is bothering me?”

Method No. 5 – substitution of emotions.

As soon as you catch yourself having a bad thought, try to find a replacement for it. Immediately change negative judgments to an optimistic attitude. It is important to master this technique, then you will not have a question about how to get rid of negative thoughts. Turn it into a game: as soon as you feel like it’s “rolling over”, sharply switch your thoughts to anything that makes you feel better: to images of a cat’s soft belly at home, hugs with your parents, a summer walk. Live these emotions.

You will automatically replace negative thoughts with balanced and logical reasoning. For example, your friends haven’t called you for more than a week. The thought suggests itself: “They don’t need me.” Use a “counterstrike”: think that they need your help in business, and they simply don’t have time to call. Take the initiative, don't overthink it.

Method No. 6 – three columns.

Take a sheet of paper and draw it into three columns. We use the first column to describe the situation. In the second, we write down the negative judgments that arose against its background. We use the third column to record our thoughts. Often this method of getting rid of negative thoughts clearly shows that “the devil is not so terrible.”

When you think about how to correctly formulate a thought, you will learn to look at it from the outside. Unnoticed by yourself, you will begin to tune in to positive “notes”, realizing how often you assign non-existent importance to things that, in principle, are not important in your life.

Method No. 7 – breaking down a complex situation into simple tasks.

Don't get hung up on a task that's impossible—it's only as bad as you make it impossible. Make it into some manageable tasks. Break each of them down into steps. Analyze every simple situation. You will understand how much its importance has been exaggerated. It turns out there is no problem at all. You just need to plan the stages correctly and start acting, and not dramatize. By immersing yourself in solving a problem situation, you direct your energy to ways to get out of it. While you are grinding her problems in your head, you are giving yourself up to be torn apart by negative thoughts.

Method No. 8 – psychological assistance.

The specialist will not give you clear instructions on how to get out of depression or get rid of negative thoughts. But it will teach you how to deal with different situations. After all, the ability to cope with them is already built into you, but for some reason you don’t want to use it. you will be able to adjust your behavior pattern and learn to separate the real from the far-fetched.

You can transfer your consulting experience to real life. It is important, firstly, to stop aggravating the situation, secondly, to understand that you can cope with it, and thirdly, to gain self-confidence.

Just knowing how to get rid of negative emotions will not give us back good self-esteem and zest for life. These techniques need to be implemented and their implementation monitored. But even working together with a psychologist, we can only help ourselves. Monitor your own thoughts, learn to exterminate the beginnings of negative emotions and depression in the bud. Learn to replace negativity with positive thoughts. This will make your life bright and interesting. Then you will be able to feel your importance and strength, without allowing any experiences to take over you.

Avoid negativity and be healthy!

The quality of your thoughts also affects how your brain functions. Happy, favorable, positive thoughts improve brain function, and negative ones turn off certain nerve centers. Automatic negative thoughts can torment and torment you until you take concrete action to get rid of them.

We'll talk about the inner critic later, but for now, familiarize yourself with the concept of ants. Ant (English). - ant; For “automatic intrusive negative thoughts,” the abbreviation “ANTs” (automatic negative thoughts) is used. Or "cockroaches".

They are, as it were, the background of our thoughts. Involuntary negative thoughts come and go spontaneously, like bats flying in and out, bringing with them doubts and frustrations, we practically do not notice them in our daily lives.

For example, when you are late for the train, you think to yourself: “What a fool I am, I always do everything at the last moment,” or when in the store you try on clothes and look at yourself in the mirror: “Ugh, what a nightmare, it’s time to lose weight !

Negative intrusive automatic thoughts- this is an incessant voice that sounds in our head 24 hours a day: negative ideas, comments, negative thoughts about ourselves. They constantly drag us down, they are like footnotes that undermine our confidence and self-esteem. They are the “second wave” of thoughts that Beck noticed.

The first thing you must do is pay attention to these thoughts, learn to notice when they appear and when they leave your consciousness. Look at the picture of the glass: negative thoughts are foam on the surface. It fizzes and dissolves, revealing your thoughts or feelings that you feel at the moment.

They show the meaning we attach to what is happening around us. They also give us insight into how we perceive the world and what place we occupy in it. Automatic negative thoughts are a manifestation of what rises from the bottom of the glass, what bubbles to the surface from a deeper psychological level.

Automatic negative thoughts greatly suppress self-esteem, they are like endless nagging; Negative in nature, they will constantly make comments towards you, causing depression, giving everything you try to do or achieve a negative connotation.

Becoming aware of your negative thoughts can help you deal with your deeper emotional issues. Automatic negative thoughts weigh on you drop by drop, distorting your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Automatic intrusive negative thoughts:

they exist persistently in your mind

you just need to start noticing them;

they are aware

show how you think, they lie on the surface, this is not the subconscious;

they oppress

because they are inherently “bad”, they make you depressed and spoil your mood;

they are regulated

depend on the situation (for example, if you are walking down the street at night, you think: “I’m scared, now someone will attack me”);

they “seem to be true” - they are masks that we put on and believe them (for example: “I’m no good”, “I’m too fat in these jeans”, “I’ll never get my work done on time”, “I always choose not to”). this/wrong guy/girl”, “Nobody loves me”);

we conduct an internal dialogue with them

we can always convince ourselves of something or talk ourselves out of something: we put on masks and believe them;

they are constant, especially if your problems have long been embedded in your life, for example, if you have depression. Your NNMs constantly convince you that you are worthless, that no one loves you, that you are worthless, that you are helpless and alone.

Did you know that when a thought occurs, the brain releases chemicals? This is amazing. The thought came, substances were released, electrical signals ran through the brain, and you realized what you were thinking. In this sense, thoughts are material and have a direct impact on feelings and behavior.

Anger, dissatisfaction, sadness or frustration release negative chemicals that activate the limbic system and reduce physical well-being. Remember how you felt the last time you were angry? Most people's muscles tense, their heart beats faster, and their hands begin to sweat.

The body reacts to every negative thought. Mark George, MD, proved this with an elegant brain study at the National Institute of Mental Health. He examined 10 women on a tomograph and asked them to alternately think about something neutral, something happy and something sad.

During neutral reflections, nothing changed in the functioning of the brain. Joyful thoughts were accompanied by a calming of the limbic system. When they had sad thoughts, the subjects' limbic system became highly active. This is compelling proof that your thoughts matter.

Every time you think about something positive, joyful, pleasant and kind, you contribute to the release of neurotransmitters in the brain that calm the limbic system and improve physical well-being. Remember how you felt when you were happy. Most people relax, their heart rate slows down, and their hands remain dry. They breathe deeper and calmer. That is, the body also reacts to good thoughts.

What is the limbic system? This is the most ancient section of the brain, which is located in its very depths, more precisely in the center to the bottom. What is she responsible for:

sets emotional tone

filters external and internal experience (distinguishes between what we ourselves thought and what is actually happening)

designates internal events as important

stores emotional memory

modulates motivation (what we want and do what is required of us)

controls appetite and sleep cycle

makes emotional connections with other people.

processes odors

regulates libido

If you worry every day, namely, deliberately think about what bad things can happen to you and your family in the future, and at the same time you have a hereditary history of anxiety disorders and even have an adverse childhood experience, then it is likely that your limbic system is very active condition.

It’s quite interesting that the limbic system is stronger than the cortex, including the frontal cortex, which is aware and controls everything. So if a charge of activity hits from the limbic, the cortex cannot always cope. Moreover, the main blow does not hit the bark directly, but in a roundabout way. The impulse is sent to the hypothalamus, and it instructs the pituitary gland to release hormones. And the hormones themselves trigger this or that behavior.

When the limbic is calm (low-active mode), we experience positive emotions, have hopes, feel included in society and loved. We sleep well and have a normal appetite. When she is overexcited, the emotions are generally negative. The limbic system is responsible for translating feelings into a physical state of relaxation and tension. If a person has not done what he was asked to do, his body will remain relaxed.

I explain that bad thoughts are like an infestation of ants in your head. If you are sad, melancholy and anxious, then you are attacked by automatic negative thoughts - “ants”. This means you need to call on the big, strong inner anteater to get rid of them. Children love this metaphor.

Every time you notice “ants” in your head, crush them before they have time to ruin your relationship and undermine your self-esteem.

One way to deal with such “ants” is to write them down on a piece of paper and discuss them. You should not accept every thought that comes to your consciousness as the ultimate truth. You need to decide which “ants” are visiting you and deal with them before they take away your power. I have identified 9 types of “ants” (automatic negative thoughts) that show situations worse than they really are. By identifying the type of ant, you will gain power over it. I classify some of these “ants” as red, that is, especially harmful.

9 Types of Automatic Negative Thoughts

1. Generalization: accompanied by the words “always”, “never”, “nobody”, “every”, “every time”, “everyone”.

2. Focus on the negative: noting only the bad moments in each situation.

3. Prediction: In everything, only a negative outcome is seen.

4. Mind Reading: the confidence that you know what the other person is thinking, even when he hasn't said it.

5. Mixing thoughts with feelings: in Believe in negative feelings without a doubt.

6. Guilt Punishment: accompanied by the ideas “must”, “obliged”, “necessary”.

7. Labeling: assigning negative labels to oneself or others.

8. Personalization: taking any neutral events personally.

9. Accusations: the tendency to blame others for one's troubles.

Negative Thought Type 1: GENERALIZATION

These “ants” come crawling when you use words like “always”, “never”, “constantly”, “every”. For example, if someone in church annoys you, you will think to yourself, “People in church are always picking on me” or “Only hypocrites go to church.”

Although these thoughts are obviously wrong, they have incredible power, for example, they can scare you away from church forever. Negative thoughts with generalizations are almost always wrong.

Here’s another example: if a child doesn’t listen, an “ant” may crawl into his head: “He always doesn’t listen to me and doesn’t do what I ask,” although most of the time the child behaves quite obediently. However, the very thought “He always disobeys me” is so negative that it makes you angry and upset, activates the limbic system and leads to a negative reaction.

Here are more examples of “ant” generalizations:

• “She’s always gossiping”;
• “At work, no one cares about me”;
• “You never listen to me”;
• “Everyone is trying to take advantage of me”;
• “I get interrupted all the time”;
• “I never get a chance to rest.”

Type 2 of negative thoughts: EMPHASIS ON NEGATIVITY

In this case, you see only the negative aspect of the situation, although there are positive sides to almost everything. These “ants” detract from positive experiences, good relationships, and work interactions. For example, you want to help your neighbor. You have the ability to do this, and you know what needs to be done.

But, as you are about to offer help, you suddenly remember how your neighbor once offended you. And although at other times you communicated with him in a friendly manner, your thoughts begin to revolve around the unpleasant incident. Negative thoughts discourage the desire to help someone. Or imagine you're on a great date. Everything is going well, the girl is beautiful, smart, good, but she was 10 minutes late.

If you focus on her being late, you could ruin a potentially wonderful relationship. Or you came to a new church or synagogue for the first time. This is a very important experience. But someone noisy distracts you from the service. If you focus on the interference, the impressions will be spoiled.

Type 3 of negative thoughts: BAD PREDICTIONS

These “ants” crawl when we foresee something bad in the future. “Ants” predictors suffer from anxiety disorders and panic attacks. Predicting the worst causes an immediate increase in heart rate and breathing. I call these expectations red “ants” because by anticipating negativity, you are causing it. For example, you think it's going to be a bad day at work.

The first hint of failure strengthens this belief, and for the rest of the day you are depressed. Negative predictions disturb peace of mind. Of course, you should plan and prepare for different scenarios, but you can’t focus only on the negative.

Type of negative thoughts 4: IMAGINAL READING OF OTHER THOUGHTS

This is when you feel like you know other people's thoughts even though they haven't told you about them. This is a common cause of conflict between people.

Here are examples of such automatic negative thoughts:

• "He does not like me...";
• “They talked about me”;
• “They think I’m good for nothing”;
• “He was angry with me.”

I explain to patients that if someone looks at them darkly, then perhaps that person is just experiencing stomach pain. You cannot know his true thoughts. Even in a close relationship, you will not be able to read your partner's thoughts. When in doubt, speak frankly and refrain from biased mind reading. These “ants” are contagious and sow hostility.

Negative Thought Type 5: MIXING THOUGHTS WITH FEELINGS

These “ants” arise when you begin to trust your feelings without doubt. Feelings are very complex and are usually based on memories from the past. However, they often lie. Feelings are not necessarily true, they are just feelings. But many people believe that their emotions always tell the truth.

The appearance of such “ants” is usually marked by the phrase: “I feel that...”. For example: “I feel like you don’t love me,” “I feel stupid,” “I feel like a failure,” “I feel like no one believes in me.” When you start to “feel” something, double-check whether you have evidence? Are there true reasons for such emotions?

Negative Thought Type 6: PUNISHMENT WITH GUILT

Excessive guilt is rarely a healthy emotion, especially for the deep limbic system. It usually causes you to make mistakes. Punishment with guilt occurs when the words “must”, “must”, “should”, “necessary” pop up in the head.

Here are some examples:

• “I need to spend more time at home”; “I should communicate more with children”; “You need to have sex more often”; “My office should be organized.”

The feeling of guilt is often exploited by religious organizations: live this way, otherwise something terrible will happen to you. Unfortunately, when people think they have to do something (no matter what), they don't want to do it. Therefore, all typical phrases that appeal to feelings of guilt should be replaced with: “I want to do this and that. This aligns with my life goals."

For example:

• “I want to spend more time at home”;
• “I want to communicate more with children”;
• “I want to please my husband by improving our love life.”
• life, because it’s important to me”;
• “I intend to organize life in my office.”

Of course, there are things you shouldn't do, but feeling guilty isn't always productive.

Negative Thought Type 7: LABELING

Every time you put a negative label on yourself or someone else, you prevent yourself from seeing the situation clearly. Negative labels are very damaging because by calling someone a jerk, uncommitted, irresponsible, or opinionated, you equate them with every jerk and irresponsible person you've ever met, and you lose the ability to communicate productively with them.

Negative Thought Type 8: PERSONALIZATION

These “ants” force you to take any innocent event personally. “The boss didn’t talk to me this morning, he’s probably angry.” Sometimes it seems to a person that he is responsible for all the troubles. “My son was in a car accident, I should have spent more time teaching him how to drive, it’s my fault.” There are many explanations for any trouble, but the overactive limbic system chooses only those that concern you. The boss may not talk because he is busy, upset, or in a hurry. You are not free to know why people do what they do. Don't try to take their behavior personally.

Type 9 of negative thoughts (the most poisonous red “ants”!): ACCUSATIONS

Blaming is very harmful because by blaming someone else for your problems, you become a victim and are unable to do anything to change the situation. A huge number of personal relationships collapsed because people blamed their partners for all the troubles and did not take responsibility for themselves. If something went wrong at home or at work, they withdrew and looked for someone to blame.

“Ant” accusations usually sound like this:

• “It’s not my fault that...”;
• “This wouldn’t have happened if you...”;
• “How could I know”;
• “It’s all your fault that...”

“Ants” - accusations always find someone to blame. Every time you blame someone for your problems, you are actually assuming that you are powerless to change anything. This attitude erodes your sense of personal strength and will. Refrain from blaming and take responsibility for your life.

In order for the brain to function properly, you need to manage your thoughts and emotions. Having noticed an “ant” crawling into your consciousness, recognize it and write down its essence. By writing down your automatic negative thoughts (ANT), you question them and reclaim the power they steal from you. Kill the internal "ants" and feed them to your "anteater".

Your thoughts are extremely important because they calm or fire up the limbic system. Leaving the “ants” unattended will infect your entire body. Challenge automatic negative thoughts every time you notice them.

Automatic negative thoughts rely on irrational logic. If you take them out into the light and look at them under a microscope, you will see how ridiculous they are and how much harm they cause. Take control of your life without leaving your fate to the will of an overactive limbic system.

Sometimes people have a hard time challenging negative thoughts because they feel like they will be deceiving themselves. But to know what is true and what is not, you need to be aware of your thoughts. Most “ants” crawl unnoticed; they are chosen not by you, but by your poorly tuned brain. To find the truth, you need to doubt.

I often ask patients about automatic negative thoughts: are there many of them or few? To keep your limbic system healthy, you need to keep the ants under control.

What to do?

0. Develop awareness. Developed awareness is the best way to treat and prevent negative thoughts.

1. Monitoring negative thoughts. Learn to see them. Negative thoughts are part of a vicious circle. The limbic gives a signal - it causes bad thoughts - bad thoughts cause activation of the amygdala (the main guard of the brain) - the amygdala partially releases the excitement into the limbic - the limbic is even more activated.

2. See them as just thoughts - unreal formations. Don't give them any importance. They should not be actively pushed out either. Feed your anteater. Maintain the habit of identifying negative thoughts and reframing them. Praise yourself for this in every possible way.

3. Have doubts. Sometimes people have a hard time challenging negative thoughts because they feel like they will be deceiving themselves. But to know what is true and what is not, you need to be aware of your thoughts. Most “ants” crawl unnoticed; they are chosen not by you, but by your poorly tuned brain. To find the truth, you need to doubt. I often ask patients about automatic negative thoughts: are there many of them or few? To keep your limbic system healthy, you need to keep the ants under control.

4. Seek external confirmation. Attract more people who give you positive feedback. Good connections calm the limbic system, which also creates a feeling of gratitude. Focus on the positive, designate it. Positive thoughts are not only good for you personally, they also help your brain function better. Every day, write down five things you are grateful for that day.

5. Teach people around you to build strong emotional connections with you.(express your feelings, show the importance of the people around you, refresh relationships, strengthen intimacy, etc.). Reduce stress levels with the power of oxytocin. I will write more about this.

6. Act in spite of fear.

Can Positive Behavior Change the Brain? Researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles, assessed the relationship between brain function and behavior in patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). People with OCD were randomly divided into two groups. One was treated with drugs and the other with behavioral therapy.

The researchers performed PET imaging (similar to SPECT) before and after therapy. The medication group, which was treated with an antidepressant, showed calming activity in the basal ganglia, which is implicated in dwelling on negativity. The behavioral therapy group showed the same results.

Behavioral therapy involved placing patients in a stressful situation and demonstrating that nothing bad was happening to them. This therapy aims to reduce sensitivity to feared objects and situations.

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For example, people who had an obsessive fear of “dirt”, seeing it everywhere, were asked to touch a potentially “dirty” object (say, a table) and, with the help of a therapist, refrain from immediately washing their hands.

Gradually people moved on to more and more “scary” objects. Eventually their fears diminished and disappeared completely. Behavioral therapy also included other techniques: eliminating obsessive thoughts (people were asked to stop thinking about bad things), distraction (advice to switch to something else). published

“Don’t take bad things into your head or heavy things into your hands,” people say. What is the meaning of this wish? According to one opinion, it is aimed at maintaining a healthy lifestyle: free your head and do not overload yourself with physical labor. According to another: bad thoughts entail serious offenses. But be that as it may, there is only one conclusion: you need to get rid of bad thoughts.

How to determine which thoughts are good and which are bad

For example, the thought of robbing a bank may seem good to some, but bad to others. “That was a bad idea,” we say after our idea fails.

So, bad thoughts have bad consequences. “Life is scary, people are evil, no one needs me, everyone is making fun of me” - and now, having finally convinced himself of this, a person himself jumps from the roof of a high-rise building or takes revenge on his offender.

Of course, bad thoughts do not always lead to such a sad outcome. But in any case, they actively attack the consciousness and prevent you from concentrating, soberly assessing the situation, and finding opportunities to solve the problem. They exhaust, plunge into despair and despondency.

They say that thoughts are material. If this is true, then people who are not confident in themselves and constantly repeat: “Not with me,” “I won’t succeed,” “Let someone else do it - I can’t handle it,” are programming themselves for a life full of disappointments. .

Worrying thoughts are also bad. It is common for every person to worry about themselves, their health, and worry about their loved ones. But this works especially well for impressionable and sensitive people. The phobias that haunt them limit their actions, prevent them from making adequate decisions and enjoying life.

Does your child's phone not answer? What work if we are ready to take off and rush in search! The boss didn't say hello? We hastily go through possible mistakes in our heads. Is your husband going on an urgent business trip? Why would this happen all of a sudden, he’s never traveled before - he probably has a mistress. Life turns into a continuous expectation of pitfalls and troubles.

Bad thoughts are bad because they are different. They sit in your head like a thorn, not letting you forget about yourself. According to psychologists, obsessive thoughts are the incessant replay of unwanted memories, doubts, ideas, desires, fears or actions in your head. The real problem in such obsessive thoughts is often exaggerated and distorted. A head filled with such thoughts leaves no room for positivity. The nervous system suffers, the person becomes irritable or tearful. , obsessive-compulsive disorder becomes a real prospect.

Is it possible to get rid of bad thoughts?

American Louise Hay came to the conclusion that many diseases are the result of bad thoughts. In her opinion, our well-being depends on how positively we think.

Having experienced psychological trauma in childhood and adolescence and coping with its consequences, she began counseling parishioners of a New York church. Subsequently, based on her experience, she compiled a Directory of psychological causes of physical ailments and suggested ways out of them.

Louise Hay believes that they helped her cope with cancer, which overtook her when she was 50 years old. “You Can Heal Yourself” is the title of her most famous book. We create our own future: bad thoughts provoke unpleasant situations. Blaming others for your grievances and failures is wrong. Anyone who thinks that he is because no one loves him will be lonely until he changes the course of his thoughts. A person who believes in the existence of love and loves will be surrounded by love.

You can achieve harmony in your life only after harmony is established in your soul. Louise Hay thinks so and gives some tips with which you can change your thoughts, get rid of fears, insecurities and worries and make your life joyful. First of all you need to:

1. Confess your love to yourself, become the center of the Universe for yourself

You need to stand in front of the mirror, look yourself straight in the eyes and say, addressing yourself by name: “I love you and accept you as you are.” At first glance, it's simple. But most people will experience internal resistance at first. A lump in the throat, awkwardness, or even tears will prevent you from confessing your love for yourself.

However, one cannot but agree with the statement that one who does not love himself cannot sincerely love others. So the Bible says: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Having filled our soul with love, we simply will not leave room in it for bad thoughts.

2. Get rid of meaningless worries

Long-standing quarrels, unpleasant situations - we experience them again and again, mentally trying to prove that we are right, to justify ourselves to ourselves or someone else. They are in the past, but we reanimate them, revive them and do not let them go, wasting emotions and energy and complaining that we feel like a squeezed lemon, a gutted fish.

Let's transfer all our grievances to a piece of paper: make a list of everything that torments us. These will be the thoughts that we need to get rid of. Next, we’ll tear it into small pieces and throw it in the trash or burn it, and scatter the ashes, saying: “I’m freeing myself from my fears, from tension. I feel peace and harmony in my soul.”

This is what Louise Hay advises to do whenever bad thoughts enter your head.

3. Forgive offenses

Communication with some people comes down to listening to their grievances and complaints about relatives, colleagues, children, husbands, neighbors. Sometimes it seems that they like to be offended and make claims to others. It is not surprising that they complain of high blood pressure, headaches, and poor sleep.

And all they need is just to “dissolve” their grievances in forgiveness. Let's do this too: sit where no one will disturb us, relax, close our eyes and imagine ourselves sitting in a darkened theater hall. On the illuminated stage stands a person whom we dislike and whom we would like to forgive. Let's imagine him smiling, as if something good is happening to him. Let's save this image and let it disappear, and then imagine ourselves in its place - just as happy.

This exercise, which is designed to melt the ice blocks of resentment, should be performed at least once a day for a month. Louise Hay says living without grudges will become much easier.

4. Make room for change

If you control your thoughts, you will notice that most of them express uncertainty, disappointment: “I’m so tired of everything,” “I don’t have a chance,” “A bummer again,” “It’s hardly worth doing this,” “I’ll never I won’t like you,” “I’m always unlucky,” etc. With negative thoughts, we seem to be preparing ourselves for a negative result. And he doesn’t keep himself waiting. It couldn't be any other way. Where will the energy and strength come from if we were initially aimed at defeat?

Negative thoughts provoke us to look for reasons that would justify our inaction. They are compared to concentrated acid, corroding the heart and mind, destroying happiness. Positive ones - with a magic lift that lifts you to the stars. They suggest opportunities that allow you to move forward in your development.

Do we want positive changes? We drive negativity out of our heads, replacing it with positive attitudes: I can do it, I can do it.

5. Filter information

In order not to get poisoned, we carefully select food products - we make sure that they are of high quality and fresh. However, we are not so meticulous about the information that enters our brain during the day. Here we are omnivores, and as a result our heads are filled with information garbage. Disasters, maniacs, accidents, defaults, terrorist attacks, murders - hysterical TV presenters are in a hurry to tell us this news. “Everyone is afraid!”

We begin to doubt our own safety and the safety of our family, and this, according to, is one of the basic needs of everyone. The psychological balance of a person living in chronic fear for himself and his loved ones is disrupted. And he is no longer able to think “about high things” - about self-realization, about satisfying cognitive and aesthetic needs. I wish I could live here.

You need to be just as picky not only with “spiritual food”, but also with people - energy vampires who have the habit of driving cockroaches from their heads to someone else’s. Anyone who does not know how to build a psychological defense should avoid long conversations with them so as not to become infected with their pessimism.

Negative thinking has a powerful and sometimes destructive effect on all aspects of a person's life. The more the mind focuses on the bad, the more difficult it is to become a happy person. Negative thinking often becomes a habit of mind. And unwanted thoughts linger in your mind until you take action to get rid of them. You can overcome the flow of bad thoughts in your mind by learning the process of controlling destructive thinking.

Many people have noticed that negative thoughts have a harmful effect on a person's life. Why is it bad to think negatively? There are several good reasons for this:

1. The psyche suffers. Negative thoughts distort the perception of reality, aggravate problems, give rise to destructive emotions and nervous disorders. Emotions appear following what a person thinks about. Bad thoughts in many cases cause anxiety, fear, guilt, and depression. Controlling destructive thinking is important in maintaining a person’s mental health, since its complex consequences may require the help of a psychotherapist.
2. Health is deteriorating. Scientists have proven that many diseases are psychological in nature. Therefore, if you have the habit of thinking negatively, then your health will be constantly under threat, and various diseases will haunt you.
3. You contribute to the formation of negative events in your life. If you think about the negative aspects of your life, you attract more negativity. This is how the law of attraction works. Scientists have proven for quite some time that thoughts are material. And what you think about manifests itself in your life and multiplies. This was discussed in detail in the film “The Secret”. If you haven't watched it, I recommend watching it.

Reasons for negative thoughts

Once you learn to recognize and identify the cause of negative thoughts, you can choose how to respond to them. The most common causes of destructive thinking are:

• Anxiety, restlessness. Negative thinking can take the form of imagining, expecting something bad to happen, or fearing that something will never happen. You focus on life's problems (your health is deteriorating, your career is collapsing, etc.) and you believe that it is not in your power to change it. When your mind conjures up thoughts about how things won't go the way you want or puts worst-case scenarios into perspective, you become trapped in negative thinking patterns. This concept was expressed by the French philosopher Michel de Montaigne: “My life is full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.”
• Self-criticism. You can be very hard on yourself, focusing on all your weaknesses and shortcomings. Constant dissatisfaction with oneself and self-criticism leads to low self-esteem. When the mind is constantly fixated on what is right and ideal, you can get stuck in negativity.
• Regret, guilt. Thinking about mistakes made in the past brings a feeling of negativity. Feelings of guilt and worthlessness arise when you constantly think about the wrong things you have done. There is nothing wrong with reflecting on past experiences. Negativity occurs when you continually dwell on a situation without the intention of learning and moving on.
• Problems. Destructive thoughts often revolve around problems. Attention is fixed on the negative aspects of life. In this case, the mind exaggerates problems and minimizes what is going well. You have a good family, job, home, but your car has broken down, and this situation prevails in your head and gives rise to negative emotions. You are very upset because your car broke down, without considering the good events. The habit of mourning problems leads to the fact that you will constantly feel upset, anxious, depressed and apathetic. You should focus on finding ways to solve problems.
• Desire for more. Dependence of happiness on material things – negative picture of thinking. Buddha noted 2 thousand years ago that incessant desire is harmful to happiness. This form of negative thinking creates feelings of dissatisfaction and anxiety. It's normal to want more and strive for it. But if you constantly focus on what you don’t have and really want, instead of appreciating what you already have, life always seems incomplete. The thought of insufficiency keeps you tense.
• Generalization. Do not transfer negativity from a specific case into a general attitude towards the situation. Look at failure as a valuable lesson for the future. If you fail to get an interview and get a job, this does not mean that your job search efforts are doomed to failure.
• Direction of thoughts. Many negative thoughts mainly come from two directions. The first concerns the past - reflecting on mistakes, problems, regretting something that did not happen as expected. The second comes from anxiety about the future - fear of something that may happen or, conversely, will not happen. This is the nature of negative thinking. You need to understand this and immediately stop such thoughts.

Managing negative thinking

People try in different ways to free themselves from unwanted thoughts, trying to push them out of their heads. But this approach often backfires. Resisting negative judgments can reinforce this way of thinking and make the situation worse. It is advisable to try a different approach that will completely clear your mind of bad thoughts. This method consists of the following steps.

Awareness of negative thoughts

The first thing to do when a negative thought comes to mind is to acknowledge it. Don't deny its existence in your mind or try to push it away. This will help you switch from active mode (reacting to a thought) to observer mode (perceiving the thought as an impartial witness), which will allow you to separate from and be independent of destructive thinking. This way you don't react to negativity or affect your state of mind, but simply accept it. By being aware of a bad thought, looking at it from an observer's point of view, you can determine whether it is productive, that is, helping you make positive decisions and serving your well-being, or disturbing your emotional state.

Identifying the cause of negative thoughts

At this stage, it is necessary to find out why an unwanted thought suddenly appears in the mind. First, ask yourself where this judgment comes from and why. This question will also begin the process necessary to identify and challenge negative reasoning as true or false. When analyzing, accept the bad thought or let it go. The decision is entirely up to you. You are in control of your thoughts.

Getting to know negative thoughts and their origins is a path of awareness that will allow you to recognize, understand and get rid of them. Make sure that you control bad thoughts, rather than them controlling you.

Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones

Now that you can control your mind and determine which thoughts serve well-being, you need to change negative (destructive) thinking to positive (constructive) thinking. Good thoughts are pleasant, useful and productive for a person, they improve the internal state and contribute to the achievement of goals. Constructive thinking helps you be happy. You view problems as tasks that you will definitely cope with. And their decision will contribute to your personal growth.

Understanding and managing your thoughts better will help you eliminate negativity and create the positive mindset you need to gain confidence and achieve success.

What helps you get rid of negative thoughts?

To get rid of negative thoughts, use these tips:

1. Be surrounded by positive people. Research shows that people adopt the behavior of those around them. If you are around pessimistic people, you will also begin to think negatively. Hang out with optimists and emulate their positive attitude.
2. Share your emotions with your loved ones. Talk to people you trust about your concerns. Close people will be able to listen and sometimes help you cope with the problem. Psychotherapists say that expressing thoughts in a comfortable environment can be enough to eliminate them. This is especially true for women. We can talk enough to make our souls feel better.
3. Calm down. When negative thoughts begin to overwhelm you, close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths and relax your muscles. This will help reduce overall tension and stress, reduce stomach pain associated with anxiety, and improve sleep.
4. Fill your free time. Bad thoughts often come when you are alone or in your free time. Indulge in hobbies, spend time with friends, visit your favorite places, listen to pleasant music to distract yourself.
5. Take care of your body. There is a direct connection between mental and physical health. Exercise helps relieve stress and promotes positive thinking by releasing endorphins in the body. Eat a healthy diet and drink 2 liters of water a day to keep your body hydrated, and get enough rest and sleep (at least 8 hours).
6. Express gratitude. Make a list of things you are grateful for in life. A reminder of what is most precious warms the soul and gives rise to positive thoughts.
7. Be optimistic. When you feel a negative reaction to something, try to find the good in the situation. Be optimistic and make room for humor. Laughter promotes positive thinking. To attract light positive thoughts, remember a funny story, joke or watch a comedy.
8. Focus on the present moment. When you are immersed in unfavorable reasoning, you completely lose touch with the delights of the present moment. Focus on what is happening around you. When you live in the present moment, the past and future have no power over you. This approach is used in yoga and meditation.

Forgiveness meditation (video)

Forgiveness meditation helps me get rid of negative thoughts best. I often practice it if I feel that something is throwing me off balance and causing negativity. I advise you to try it too. I talk about how I practice forgiveness meditation in this video.

The ability to manage destructive thinking and knowledge of the reasons for the appearance of bad thoughts will help anyone who experiences anxiety to get out of negativity and find a state of calm and happiness.