Psychology of a married man - men's secrets. Actions and deeds of men

No matter what morality, foundations and norms of behavior dictate to us, relationships outside of marriage have always existed. In harsh puritanical England and at the merry court of Louis XIV, women and men equally recklessly fell in love, without bothering to first check whether the subject of passion had a soul mate. And then they suffered, were jealous, tormented by doubts ... But in most cases the result was the same, and two people who met at the wrong time parted forever. And you were not spared by this bowl? Well, let's look for the least painful ways out of the impasse.

About why men have affairs on the side, psychologists have written masses of scientific treatises and will write as many more. Here and the desire to unwind from the family routine. And a midlife crisis, when a mistress is a means for a husband to prove to himself that he is "still hoo." And the pursuit of sensations is a slight “peppercorn”, the danger of being caught adds spice to the relationship, which has not been felt for a long time in insipid family life. And no one refuses sincere feelings to the stronger sex. Indeed, it happens: the old love is gone, the new one shone on the horizon ... And yet, a man rarely regards an affair as something serious with far-reaching consequences..

With women, it's the other way around. We leave aside the young “sharks”, aimed at picking up a wealthy sponsor and squeezing as much material wealth as possible out of him - from the first days of communication, they perfectly understand what they are getting into, and do not need the help of a psychologist. We are talking about ordinary, “average” women who are ready to remain in the status of a mistress for years, be content with humiliating secret dates and spend lonely evenings in front of the TV while a man returns home to his legal wife and children. Why are they going for it?

What is serious for a woman can be regarded by a man as an accidental affair.

• Love. Feelings are not in vain compared with strong wine: it hit the head, swirled, completely turned off logic along with the ability to reason coldly and sensibly ... And neither the wife nor the children seem to be an obstacle. How, you have “the very thing, the real one”! Who better than women to know what intoxication with feelings is?
• Fear of being alone. When time passes, and the long-awaited prince is hopelessly lost somewhere on the way to you, it begins to seem that it’s better to have some man nearby than no one at all. Maybe it will turn out...
• "His family has long been a fiction." And here the Don Juans themselves are already trying, painting in colors to the naive listener the woeful details of their life. And with a wife, they have long been like neighbors, and only children connect them, and in general a trip to the registry office for a divorce is just around the corner, that's just ... Well, then follows a set of reasons, which is determined by the wealth of imagination of each individual man - from “wait until the kids grow up” to the unknown illness of the wife, who is not a man to leave alone in such a situation.

Reasons to break up: pros and cons

Or maybe it's not necessary to break off the relationship? It happens that a man leaves the family, and two loving hearts finally begin to beat side by side with each other. Let it be rare, even in 10 cases out of a hundred! What if it is you and your loved one who are destined to get into the coveted top ten? ..

Of course, you can take risks. If you are ready:

• wait a certain number of years until a man gathers his courage;
• diligently adjust your life to the schedule and desires of the chosen one, not being able to demand the same for yourself - after all, he has “circumstances!”;
• for the rest of your life to bear the stigma of a homeowner,

- then the relationship can be continued indefinitely. True, you will have to come to terms with the fact that the long-awaited divorce may never happen, while your best years will be missed. And keep in mind the option in which a man, after living with you for a couple of years, will return to the abandoned family. (According to the same harsh statistics, 70% of husbands do just that - after all, everything there has long been known, familiar and worn-in, and you need to start building a life together from scratch) /

Seven out of ten husbands return to their wife

Psychologist's view

Relations with a married man are fraught with a number of problems.

First. They initially bear the stamp of something unlawful. Even if you profess the principle “in love, all means are good,” the realization that someone else’s family is collapsing because of you will poison thoughts at least on a subconscious level. The proverb about happiness, which is not built on other people's tears, does not exist in vain.

Second. An affair with a married man is doomed to failure in 90% of cases. And deep down, many young ladies give themselves to this report! Therefore, such a passion, in addition to external pleasant moments, brings a lot of disappointments, bitter night thoughts and spiritual wounds.

And finally, the status of a mistress greatly undermines the peace of mind of a woman. She does not go to corporate parties with her chosen one - a man goes there with his wife. Can't introduce him to friends and parents. She does not have clear plans for the future, limiting herself to a blurry “when we are together ...” At the same time, flirting, pleasant courtship from young people, dates - everything that raises women's self-esteem so much - the lady is deprived, as she feels "busy". As a result, it turns out that there is a man and, as it were, not. Relationships are present, but without real emotional return and warmth. There are big doubts about how everything will end ... What kind of female happiness is there?

Remember, in such a relationship, a woman positions herself as busy, and a man as free!

‘When there is so much behind everything, especially grief, don’t wait for someone’s support, get on the train, land by the sea’. Joseph Brodsky

Breaking a long-term bond with a man you truly love is never easy. Want to wait; give yourself and him some more time; believe that something is about to change and your loved one will be with you forever ... Do not deceive yourself. If a man is ready to leave his wife, he does it quickly, if he is not ready, never. Look around! Why did you decide that it was on this person that the white light converged like a wedge? A person who makes you smart, attractive and self-sufficient! to play such a humiliating role? Maybe you should value yourself a little more and look for someone who will not run on dates secretly from his wife, but will surround you with well-deserved care and love and give you a full-fledged family?

A significant part of the female population completely refutes the possibility of a rendezvous with a married man, considering such relationships to be initially deadly for the soul and their own pride. But there are a considerable number of ladies not only allowing such a development of events, but also purposefully striving for just such a scenario. Throwing hypocrisy and feigned pride, you can understand the very essence of the phenomenon.

Description of the problem

The psychology of a married lover compares favorably with the behavior of an inveterate bachelor or a conscientious family man, therefore it lends itself to a full analysis by a sober-minded lady. Most wives who have experienced the problem of triangular ups and downs from their own experience consider the main reason for their husband's infidelity to be the polygamy inherent in them (popularly referred to as "furious with fat"). In fact, the root of the problem may be hidden behind a screen of psychological disorders.

Problems are the root of betrayal

A common root cause of infidelity is parental problems:

• A child can constantly be a participant in parental abuse, during which the most unpleasant cases from their private lives are revealed. The result of such a “happy” childhood will be the inability to perceive family conflicts. In his own family, already an adult man, in moments of acute situations, will subconsciously seek refuge, where he is accepted with a whole basket of bad habits and shortcomings. Skillful mistresses build their own behavior precisely on this foundation - the more demanding the spouse, the more loyal the passion from the outside.
• Parents who are engaged in social and labor activities forget to open their souls to their children. Lack of respect, abrupt changes in the family climate and unexplained actions instill in the fragile children's mind the concept of artificiality. Marital fidelity does not receive clear boundaries, and any difficulties undermine the already unstable world of the family.
• Bad first sexual experience. Many do not allow the option that the psychology of a married lover directly depends on the behavior of the first woman. In the case when a girl openly expressed dissatisfaction, especially in the form of bullying, the man's subconscious is constantly in a state of searching for confirmation of his own status. Mistresses are often more talkative in bed, having analyzed the possible needs of a married boyfriend, clearly build a line of encouragement and, if successful, sing of his male potential.
• The child imbibed the example of a weak father. There are frequent cases when a boy was brought up under the strict control of his mother, who clearly laid the line of matriarchy. An adult man is no longer able to move away from oppressive relationships, so the mistress acts more like a sexual psychologist. Having discussed his own troubles and the futility of married life with a beautiful woman, a married lover backs up all the conclusions with rich love pleasures, which allows him to further humiliate himself in the circle of his own family.

Behavior Model

The psychology of a married lover in relation to his mistress draws a model of behavior gradually. The first experience of a forbidden relationship programs a man to constantly monitor the speech, movements and places of possible deployment of his mistress. The city where the married hero lives with his mistress, day after day turns into a map with minefields. A man tries his best not to fall under the arm of his wife in the eyes of his passion and vice versa. For some guys, this kind of situation gives some positive results: the brain calculates moves in advance, attentiveness increases several times.

Behavior model of a "stray" married partner

There is a more common type of unfaithful men at the moment - the "stray" young married lover. His psychology of betrayal is quite simple - the wife confronted the fact of her own pregnancy, and the marriage was already formed around the existing heir or heiress. The strength of such bonds is rather doubtful. A man, backed up to the wall with his tummy, sees in the missus rather an overseer than a faithful soul mate. Therefore, the appearance of a light and cheerful outlet on the side is a completely adequate reaction.

Many girls who have gone sailing on the river "marriage" with precisely such rights often place all responsibility for the appearance of the baby on their spouse. But pressure in the form of barbs or jokes only leads to the desire to gain balance, the girls on the side in this case are a means to gain the missing dominance. The psychology of a married man who has a mistress is distinguished by its stable state. An infringed individual, finally having the opportunity to receive bursts in doses without accompanying moralizing or blackmail, notes an improvement in well-being, a surge of energy and aspirations, as well as an influx of physical strength.

Changes in a married lover

A man strives to match a well-groomed mistress. Wife's favorite pies are swept aside, and baked meat is only welcome. Such is the psychology of a married man, they have a very significant difference from wives - they have their own, they have a separate social circle, unfamiliar affairs and successes. The wife, on the other hand, always tramples under her feet, takes care of her family and children, grumbles about her mother-in-law and colleagues. You can always put pressure on the missus or extort her mistress, but at any moment she can fly away on vital matters. A moment of no influence gives any man a feeling of ardent thirst, attracting more and more.

If both partners are married...

There is also an option when married lovers and mistresses meet. The psychology of these relationships goes beyond a simple craving for novelty. A married lady does not just go down to adultery, she gives a particle of her own soul to her lover, taking it away from her family.

Why does a married lady have a married partner?

For women, the bonds of marriage are not empty words, even in the case of a fictitious union (by calculation or contract). Several factors can make a girl decide on a forbidden relationship:

• Dissatisfaction with one's own libido. Often, apparently well-off married couples hide a deep conflict of sexual temperaments. If a woman has a more active position and aspirations for a regular sexual life and does not receive a response from her husband, thoughts about an additional place of intimate unloading gradually mature in her psyche.
• The husband's sexual coercion also leads to a search for a more suitable partner. In a situation where the spouse pushes forward his own hidden fantasies with an onslaught, not caring about the emotional calmness of his missus, he runs into a wall not only of misunderstanding, but already of hysterical jitters. The best solution for most women is the presence of a married lover. After all, the existence of a spouse completely frees from any obligations to the boyfriend.
• Lack of quality attention from the faithful. Without having an emotional dialogue with a spouse, women most often become isolated in their own complexes and resentments, attention from a strange man feeds their ego.

What are relationships based on?

The psychology of a married lover in relation to a married mistress is built on quite tangible supports. The main one is the complete adaptation of the new passion to his own fate. A married lady, in fact, is a universal cocktail that gives pleasure and confidence in male capabilities, and at the same time does not show a destructive passion for ringing. The most pleasant bonus is the complete harmony in terms of matching in time. A free passion over time will demand more attention to itself, and a married one approaches the issue more deliberately, calculating all possible options.

The complete absence of trivial promises and vows qualitatively saturates the relationship of married lovers. The psychology of both parties is such that wild delight and the desire to suppress a partner are absent.

Why choose a married woman as a mistress?

Thanks to favorable harmony, the relationship with a married woman is complemented by purely external factors. Such a lady completely rejects exits to crowded places, does not require pretentious parties, frisky races or spa resorts. The list of expenses of a married man is qualitatively reduced and easily fits in, especially if the legal spouse scrupulously controls him. Also, men are disposed by the looseness of married mistresses.

An animal interest in the forbidden ripens on both sides, giving an intimate connection a "delicious" spiciness. The psychology of a married lover is built on all the same classical laws - when your own missus constantly talks about age (both in public matters and in bed), the ego requires the satisfaction of the most ambiguous desires.

Ideal for both partners

In some situations, for single mothers, a married lover becomes a lifeline. years of loneliness puts forward a whole list of positive aspects of this phenomenon. Lawful husbands often disappoint with their tyranny in relation to their spouse or child, so a married lover will not take educational initiatives towards the child, and will not toughen the atmosphere in the house. Rare visits also look tempting - a single mother does not often manage to set aside an hour or two for herself, so such a partner will not issue ultimatums.

To help in material terms, women believe, it is a married lover who can help. The psychology of a man who has known the complexities of everyday life is such that he is easier to compromise, he has to ask less often, a casually thrown phrase or a sigh causes such a partner a reflex developed in living together with his wife.

Married lover: psychology, divorce

Over the past three decades, a different trend of such relations has been widespread. Many girls dream of finding a well-equipped man; most often a married lover suits them as an admirer. They plan to conquer such a partner, to conquer him. As a result, he will file for divorce from his missus. Thus, young and excessively ambitious ladies want to get not just a win, but a universal jackpot.

The appearance of a young or more experienced woman in the life of a spouse in most cases indicates stagnation in relation to the couple. Psychologists advise to understand the core of the problem before embarking on drastic measures and sanctions. Family life is not just a laborious and painstaking business, but also an ubiquitous one. Any man needs frequent bursts of seething passions that would allow him to balance the emotional world with the outside.

Most women do not imagine relationships with married men. They try not to get into them initially, and they manage to avoid falling in love with a busy man.

Some ladies, on the contrary, manage to experience passion and feelings only with a man who has a family. Let's try to figure out why this happens, and how to be a woman if a married man offers her a relationship.

Hypocrisy or common sense?

No wonder so many women resist the temptation to become the mistress of a married man. This has its own sacred meaning. Women in general intuitively well feel the prospects of relationships with this or that man. So most of them have no illusions about male psychology in relation to their mistress. Psychological research shows that love triangles involving a husband, wife, and lover are unstable, full of drama, and traumatic for all three of them.

It is believed that the most reliable way to end a tripartite alliance is to make a decision by the person who is in it in the singular. In a situation where one man meets two women, only he himself is able to break the love triangle in the best way for everyone. To do this, he must choose with whom to stay. Such situations in real life are quite rare. In fact, the love triangle collapses due to the fact that one of the women cannot stand it and leaves. Or, less often, both endure the infidelity of a loved one, but neither is ready to leave. In this case, the relationship for three may be delayed. And the longer they continue, the more psychological trauma both women and the man himself receive.

This is why sane women try not to get involved with married men. It is not known whether it will be possible to win their love, but it is possible to make problems with almost one hundred percent probability.

Why do married men have lovers?

Sexologists and psychologists believe that mostly troubled men make lovers. Of course, there are exceptions when a normal man, without any complexes and mental problems, gets a mistress. However, male psychology is such that, as a rule, if a man has a stable, healthy, warm, sensual relationship with his wife, he will not waste time on mistresses. As soon as problems appear in a relationship, he begins to think about betrayal. Men are less willing than women to work on relationships. And if they have a misunderstanding with their wife, they can try to find a more understanding person. They may clash with old friends and start pouring wine on their problems or try to get away from them with hobbies like fishing or constant digging in the garage. But they can go to more radical methods - to have a mistress. Often, men do not plan to leave the family. They are comfortable: at home - an arranged life, well-groomed children and some routine, boredom, balanced by stability. And you can play tricks with your mistress, take your soul away, shake the old days. So it turns out that they have no special intentions regarding their mistress. There is only a desire to get from life what is lacking in the family.

Why do women date married men?

As we have already noted, not every woman will agree to have an affair with a married man. Usually, this is done by desperate, lonely ladies with low self-esteem. Sometimes these are women who, due to circumstances, are afraid of close relationships with people. The presence of a family in the chosen one protects her from too close relationships with a man. She has rather superficial feelings towards him, and justifies this with external circumstances, and not with her inability to love. Often a woman is pushed into a relationship with a married man by an unsuccessful experience of personal relationships or the idea received from her parents that all men are unworthy of her.

Male psychology in relation to a mistress, which includes superficial relationships without obligations, may well suit her. Behind the declared respect for the freedom of choice of such a man, fear and uncertainty about his own attractiveness can be hidden.

I must say that by embarking on the path of an affair with a married woman, a woman only exacerbates her problems. The constant feeling of immoral communication, the duplicity of one's own nature is detrimental to a woman's self-esteem. There is a vicious circle: the longer she dates a married man, the lower her self-esteem. And the lower the self-esteem, the less likely it is to have a successful relationship with a free man who is ready to give her a stable and lasting relationship.

All this is exacerbated by the reaction of the external environment. It rarely happens that no one condemns the mistress of a married man. In fact, she is often persona non grata in the circle of friends and relatives of her chosen one. And if the romance started at work, then the mistress can also become an object of ridicule for colleagues, which clearly does not contribute to a successful career.

What to do if a feeling for a married man overtakes

Despite all the drama of relations with a married man, you should not renounce love for him. Love is not a feeling that we can control. Often it arises in our soul against our will, it is not for nothing that sayings and jokes on the topic “love is evil ...” are so popular.

If you find yourself overwhelmed by feelings for a married person, the first thing you should do is examine the situation. The fact is that now people have become somehow easier to relate to the issues of registration and dissolution of marriage.

If his marriage exists only on paper, you can safely forget all of the above and plunge headlong into romance. Just be careful: do not blindly trust the words of the man himself, check the information about the "formality" of his marriage through mutual friends, relatives and acquaintances.

If his marriage turned out to be strong and not at all “breathing in its incense”, as he claims, try to do everything to avoid this relationship.

Take a break from socializing, if you work together, try not to meet at work. Take a vacation and spend a month away from it.

Be creative in avoiding such an affair, and then you will have a chance to build a truly warm and trusting relationship with some other, more decent and reliable man.

Often the psychology of the relationship of married lovers is due to the lack of continuation. The desire to get close to people burdened by the bonds of marriage is explained by the reluctance to leave one's own family. After all, the appearance of a free partner imposes responsibility for the further development of communication.

The general reasons for the appearance of third-party sexual intrigues with not free people are revealed by three main aspects: sex, romance, communication.

Previously enchanting sex is gradually becoming monotonous. Physical intimacy becomes boring, the mysterious act of love becomes a common marital duty.

Wise wives try to bring novelty, invent various ways to diversify the intimate sphere. However, often attempts to awaken the former passion end unsuccessfully. The emotional level remains the same. Having lost interest, the spouses start third-party affairs.

Another sexual partner gives vivid sexual sensations, brings a previously unknown experience. Third-party connections are attracted by the opportunity to experience the variety of sex. Physical contact helps to experience positive emotions, the joy of discovery. There is a feeling of uncertainty, there is a desire to experiment.

Lack of romance

Initially, relationships are always pleasing with romance. Lovers worry, try to seem better. The fan diligently looks after: gives flowers, gifts, various pleasant little things, dinners - he tries in every possible way to please the lady of the heart. The chosen one also maintains a loving atmosphere: arranges romantic evenings, always looks perfect, prepares surprises.

The period of cohabitation is coming. Relationships gradually become boring. The wife begins to attach more importance to the household, less to appearance. The husband ceases to give pleasure to his beloved with petty romantic amenities. A young couple is covered by a daily routine.

Romance is a necessary part of married life.

The cessation of romantic courtship creates the impression of the extinction of past tender feelings. Thoughts are clouded. A desire is born to fall in love again, because strangers seem much more romantic.

The appearance of a new object of admiration causes excitement. There is a desire to impress, delight, surprise. Emotions flare up again. A person needs to maintain the feeling of "butterflies".

Lack of communication

Simple human communication is also necessary for people who have been married for a long time. At first, lovers communicate a lot. Trying to please the interlocutor, they try to impress each other: they support uninteresting topics in every possible way, nod, pretending to understand, and tell various interesting stories.

Starting to live together, the spouses gradually reduce communication to a discussion of exclusively domestic issues. Less importance is attached to the inner feelings of the partner. The time for endless heartfelt conversations is over. However, the need to share impressions, express feelings, discuss significant personal topics remained.

Colleagues are often the newly chosen interlocutors. The employee can make up for the lack of communication. A sweet heart-to-heart conversation can turn into an office romance. Interest in the inner world gives rise to sexual attraction. It seems that a colleague understands perfectly, shares feelings, can console.

Why does a married man need a married lover

Acquiring a married passion, the husband is not guided by the intention to change his wife. The unfaithful chosen one understands that a woman burdened with marriage ties least of all needs a scandal. Usually the unfaithful spouse also fears the destruction of the marriage. The relationships of not free people often do not involve the creation of a new family.

Married mistresses are allowed to be given relatively less care. Free darlings begin to make demands. Having the opportunity to see a fan more often, an unmarried passion extorts constant attention. Therefore, a ringed lover is much more “convenient”. It is not necessary to care, talk, give warmth. The responsibility to make the wife happy belongs to the lawful husband. The main task of a fan is to give sexual satisfaction.

Self-affirmation is another important reason.

Representatives of the stronger sex are looking for any reason to compete. Men are flattered by the possibility of getting the woman they desire. Giving pleasure to someone else's wife gives a feeling of superiority over the lawful husband. This is a way of self-affirmation - to feel your own significance.

Sometimes the husband gets tired of playing the role of the head of the cell of society. Fulfilling the obligations of the breadwinner of the family is sometimes tiring. A tired spouse wants ordinary support. A young mistress is more often an expensive toy than an understanding friend. Therefore, cheaters prefer experienced wise women who are able to realize a lot. Often sensible persons who have received some life experience are married. The main criterion is the personal qualities of the newly elected passion, and not the status of marital status.

Someone else's wife will rarely try on a temporary man for the role of the next husband. Thus, the cheating spouse is insured. A married passion usually wants to save their own marriage. The risk of destroying several families at the same time frightens both. Therefore, a married mistress of a married man can cause a minimum of unpleasant consequences.

There is no need to give expensive gifts. First, it is proper for a lawful husband to pamper his wife. Secondly, it is difficult to explain to the spouse the origin of the things that have appeared. Soon after a short admiration for an expensive present, an autopsy of deception will follow.

Relationships between married lovers involve secrecy. Those who want to save families need to be extremely careful. Fearing exposure, married lovers and mistresses guarantee mutual maximum confidentiality. The same dangerous position ensures mutual coordination of actions.

Why does a married woman need a married lover

The psychology of interpersonal relationships partially explains the behavior of a married mistress. This kind of intimate relationship helps to avoid misunderstandings.

Usually cheaters pursue the same goal - a short-term romance that is incapable of destroying the marriage.

Refusal to develop an extramarital relationship discourages the desire to have a free guy who wants to continue.

The presence of a non-free gentleman saves time. There is no need to explain the impossibility of meeting too often. A free chosen one may want to spend more time together. Therefore, you can easily let him go home immediately after physical intimacy.

The absence of family obligations also favors the appearance of a busy gentleman. A married passion has enough family responsibilities at home. Feeding, cleaning, washing, ironing will be the legal wife. Lovers can only enjoy. Romance is not overshadowed by everyday issues. A secret relationship is constantly accompanied by exceptionally pleasant moments.

Many women consider married men to be experienced lovers. Having not received sexual satisfaction in marriage, desperate wives hope to experience pleasure in the arms of a ringed seducer. There is no need to teach a knowledgeable sexual partner. In addition, he also wants to get new sensations. He is also tired of the monotonous marital sex, so the chosen one tries to give the new passion maximum pleasure.

Some representatives of the weaker sex also enjoy the seduction of other people's companions. The nature of the predator causes an irresistible desire to take possession of busy husbands. A kind of game gives the temptress pleasure. She feels a surge of energy, self-esteem rises. A third-party relationship with someone's spouse exalts the seductress in their own eyes.

Many different reasons to have an unfree sexual partner are complemented by a minimal risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections. A family man, albeit an unfaithful one, usually observes cleanliness. Various diseases are conducive to the exposure of adultery, so changeable husbands monitor sexual health.

Prospects for the development of the novel

Having fallen in love, a married lover and a married woman, whose psychology of behavior did not imply the development of relationships, run the risk of falling in love seriously. A minor affair is sometimes fraught with the destruction of two families. And not always the decision to disperse is justified. Sometimes it seems to lovers that by leaving previous spouses, they will be able to find true happiness. However, in reality, good sexual partners often turn out to be absolutely incompatible in everyday life.

In addition, divorce is preceded by a painful solution to the dilemma: marriage or "fabulous" love. However, the long-awaited passion quickly disappoints. A previously romantic chosen one, who seems to be the hero of a love story, is quite ordinary, no better than a former spouse. The same goes for the ideas of men about a mistress.

It seems that the secret romance is able to last indefinitely. However, according to statistics, such a relationship lasts about 3 years. Then comes the understanding of the true value of the family. Having gained useful experience, having made a mistake, the traitors begin to value legitimate partners more. Having understood the mistakes, the stumbled spouses try to strengthen the marriage union.

Conclusion

The psychology of the relationship of lovers who are legally married can explain the changeable behavior of spouses. However, it is worth thinking three times before starting a third-party relationship. The outcome of such intrigues is fraught with the destruction of not one family, but two at once. In addition, children suffer. Therefore, it is desirable to analyze the possible consequences well. It is probably worth re-evaluating the importance of family ties by trying to renew old feelings.

Many women are interested in the question of why men have mistresses. Especially when initially nothing overshadowed the marriage union, there was sincere, true love. But somewhere she gave a crack and everything went awry.

In general, if we consider the psychology of a married man, then if he has real and sincere feelings for a woman, he naturally will not even think about his mistress. The beloved woman for him will always be in the first place, from the fact that she is called beloved, that there are no others.

The only problem is that not everyone understands what true love is. If we consider the meaning of this word, then it means a disinterested, selfless interest in another person. The desire to be his support, support, to share with him all the sorrows, troubles, and not just happy moments. The ability to brighten up gray everyday life and develop together.

And when there was no love at all, then over time a new hobby may appear. More vivid, interesting, fascinating, in the form of a relationship with a mistress.

This is especially true when the initial relationship prior to marriage was based solely on sexual interest, attraction, and falling in love.

Such relationships begin passionately, but the passion fades over time, the emotions fade, weaken, and eventually become blunted. Nothing causes emotional excitement, awe, and in order to feel it all again, married men find relationships on the side. but that's not the only reason.

There is another no less significant - disappointment and a desire to get away from problems. This is especially the case when a man idealizes a woman, endows her with the desired qualities, or does not notice shortcomings. But they still show up over time. And then there is a natural desire to find an outlet.

A relationship with a mistress for a married man is a kind of escape from problems. The desire to resurrect dead emotions, to get new impressions. Especially if nothing in family life pleases.

But the relationship with a mistress is inherently easy, not colored by family problems, there is no need to bear responsibility. In addition to the fact that he sees his mistress most often in a good mood, she is always well-groomed, beautiful. Here the very image of a woman is pleasant, light, carefree, then there is already a desire to have a good time with her and often continue the relationship in the same easy and format.

As a result, we can conclude that in a relationship on the side, a married man is looking for something that he does not find in the family and finds in the character of his mistress. She can tie him to exactly what he lacks.

How to become the best mistress of a married man psychology

1. In principle, women who want to become the mistress of a married man should be prepared for the fact that the role of a mistress is not enviable and not permanent. Especially if a married man has something to lose, and he has a lot to do with his wife - money, property, children.
2. But on the other hand, if a woman can give more or become more significant for him, then there is a possibility of continuing the relationship.
3. What does it take to become the best mistress of a married man psychology
4. Find out all his strengths and weaknesses. But this is not necessary for manipulation, if a man notices that he is being manipulated, then it is more likely that he will end the relationship. Knowing his strengths and weaknesses, it is easier to become more significant in his life. And accordingly, show that he means a lot in your life.
5. Next comes the ability to give, just do not confuse it with the ability to please. It just doesn't fit here. The ability to give here means psychologically. After all, every man wants to see that he is needed, appreciated, understood. And the extent to which you give him understanding, attention, spiritual strength, to the extent that it will return to you in the form of affection.
6. It is equally important to always be in good shape. This applies to good health, well-groomed appearance and slim figure and beauty of clothing. It is necessary to make sure that after meeting with you, the man has only the best memories, and the more there are, the stronger he will again be drawn to you.
7. Create an atmosphere of celebration and relaxation for him. After all, if he is drawn to such a relationship, then he is tired of gray everyday life and routine, and he wants new experiences, which he does not receive in the family.
8. Find out more about his life, interests, dreams, and what he lacks. If possible, become a like-minded person for him, a true friend with whom he can share what worries him. One of the rules of psychology says that we like those who understand us, support us, share our thoughts. We usually become attached to such people very quickly.

Married mistress of a married man psychology

More complex and confusing option. Usually this happens when a man and a woman have children, a family, a job, but something is missing in their family life. Everything is perceived as familiar, uninteresting and boring. And then you want new impressions and emotions.

Such relationships can develop in unpredictable ways. They can either break at any moment or continue indefinitely. Since this form of relationship is convenient in that you do not have to bear responsibility, delve into and solve problems on the side.

Meetings take place at a convenient time, there are no obligations. There is more freedom, however, illusory freedom. Since they will not be able to fully reveal their relationship to others and have to hide them.

The younger the man and woman, the easier it is for them to have such relationships and the easier it is to hide. But the older they get, constant secrets, fear that they don’t find out about the relationship, can turn into a neurosis, and a headache.

Psychology of married men in a relationship with a mistress

But if we talk about the psychology of married men in relation to their mistresses, then often the attitude towards them is not serious. After all, the relationship was built on easy communication without obligations, where the main goal was to have a good time, to have fun. But sooner or later they will end, which will immediately affect the relationship.

It doesn’t cost him anything to end a relationship with a woman with whom he has nothing to do. Passion ends, emotions become dull, and if there is no attachment, then it’s not easy for a man to leave a woman. Many men break up with women easily.

True, there is such a type of men who are easily and permanently attached. But these are usually soft men, with a vivid imagination and a fine mental organization, who perceive the world emotionally. But most women call such men weak.

And reach out to the strong, sometimes perceiving the rudeness and rigidity of character as masculinity and strength. Naively believing that with her he would not be the same as with others. With her, he will be a gentle kitten. Only now such men are more guided by the instinct of the male, and his task is, no matter how trite it sounds, in fertilization.

They are alien to the emotional perception of love, this perception is reduced solely to instincts and entertainment. But on the other hand, women are still drawn to brutal men.

As a result, we can conclude that a man who is not endowed with subtle perception, emotionality, gentleness, sincerity, will easily find lovers, leave and find new ones again.

Why does a married man need a mistress psychology

As mentioned above, married men find mistresses in order to:

• Take a break from family problems, everyday life and gray everyday life
• Resurrect lost emotions
• Get new experiences
• Feel the novelty of sexual relations
• Find understanding, an outlet
• Have a relationship without obligations that can be ended at any moment
• It is not excluded the desire to flirt, love adventures

The psychology of the relationship between an unmarried man and his mistress

In general, they are no different from the options described above. Except, if a man is lonely, not spoiled by female attention, and has a soft, sentimental character, then he will quickly and permanently become attached.

And vice versa, if a man is not characterized by emotions and affection, he is spoiled by female attention, then it is unlikely that he will appreciate this relationship. Moreover, some men are characterized by a desire to get new sexual experiences with a new woman. Only relationships built on sexual impressions, passion, are not durable. But here everyone chooses what he likes.

How to stop being the mistress of a married man psychology

If you want to stop being the mistress of a married man, then you will have to put him before a choice. Or he officially recognizes a relationship with you. Or the relationship will have to end.

In the latter case, you will have to delete everything related to a married man. And switch your attention to more interesting events. In principle, many psychologists give such advice. And of course it is very difficult at first. But this happens only at the beginning, especially if you yourself are very accustomed to a man.

But the less contacts, meetings, communication with him, the faster this attachment will leave and die. For the best effect, it is advisable to find yourself a new acquaintance. As the saying goes, a wedge is knocked out with a wedge. That's it a new acquaintance with another man can quickly heal from affection and memories.

What is it like to be the mistress of a married man psychology

In general, the fate of lovers is not enviable. You have to hide a lot, be on the sidelines in the life of a married man and invest a lot in relationships in order to save them.

After all, you will have to create a good atmosphere for meetings, constantly make sure that the man is comfortable and good with you. To make him happy with everything, listen to him, pay attention, and nothing in return. His lion's share of attention will still go to children and family, wife and all relatives. And only then, what remains, then the mistress will receive.

And the mistress will have to constantly invest a lot in relationships in order to maintain the attention of a man. On the one hand, there seems to be nothing wrong. But from the point of view of psychology, when a woman invests a lot of effort for a man. The man begins to take it for granted. It is easy to get and he has nothing to lose.

And another catch is that when a woman invests a lot of effort for a man, the significance of a man for him increases. After all, she did so much for him and she no longer wants to lose him. But for him, the importance of women is reduced. Especially when he did nothing for a woman, what did he have to lose.

This often happens when there is no equality, sincerity, or naturalness in a relationship. And when they are built on the personal, selfish desires of a man to satisfy his passion or other desires, without paying attention to what the mistress wants. Therefore, she will not be in his first place.

Why does a married man need a constant lover psychology articles

Most often, such men get used to, become attached to another woman, but there is not enough strength and confidence to choose who he needs more, a lover or a wife. It is not easy for all men to break off relations with their wife, especially if there are a lot of things that connect them.

The absence of what he lacks in the family, he finds in his mistress. When it is constant, then there are many fewer problems. She can be trusted more, there is no need to look for another mistress again.

Treat permanent mistresses like a second wife. There may already be more responsibility, seriousness, and a desire to help in a difficult situation. But only here the concept of a constant lover is relative. Because nothing in life lasts forever.