Charming - is it the same as beautiful? Secrets of female charm What does a charming and attractive woman mean.

Language in our life occupies an incomparable, special place. In fact, it is he who determines the model of our worldview. Thanks to him, certain concepts are fixed in the mind, which now and then pop up when a particular reality is mentioned.

However, sooner or later we find ourselves in a situation of incomplete understanding. It would seem that quite ordinary, often used words suddenly cause confusion and doubt. Their meaning suddenly slips away, seems incomplete and indirect.

Take, for example, the word "charm". What does it mean for us? By what criteria do we consider a person before using this concept in relation to him? Let's talk about this in more detail.

Traditional understanding

Most often, this word is associated with the fair sex. In the understanding, the adjective "charming" is a kind of synonym for the words "sweet", "beautiful", "attractive", but in reality it often turns out that the girl does not have any obvious external virtues at all, but in a different way to say about her does not work.

We all remember the heroine in the film "The most charming and attractive." After all, there was nothing in her that could be compared with standard beauty, however, radiant eyes, a kind smile and a very special character simply made the audience fall in love with a simple girl who went in search of happiness.

Maybe charming is someone with charisma? A sort of inner beauty, the ability to win over, inspire confidence and find a common language with everyone and everyone?

I look after her, there is nothing in her ...

So, by the method of elimination, we come to the conclusion that charming is not always beautiful. Rather, in this case, the comparison with charm is applicable, but if you look at the composition of this word, you cannot help but notice a clear reference to something magical, magical and mysterious. Maybe this is the very criterion of charm? Some kind of magical power lurking inside and hiding under the mask of naturalness?

Typical representatives

If you do something like that, you will notice that a charming girl is almost always an open, kind and gentle girl. There is never any discomfort or tension with her, as if with her presence she complements the world, making it especially beautiful.

Such representatives of the fair sex are always interesting, because they personify a mystery that is unlikely to be completely solved.

It seems that if a girl is charming and sweet, she is simply not capable of dirty tricks, envy and other negative things that, unfortunately, today's world abounds in. Such people want to trust almost immediately upon meeting, and over time it only grows stronger and gains strength.

Children's spontaneity

In addition, if you face the truth, you can not deny the fact that charming girls tend to have some childishness. Of course, they don't necessarily play football or pull each other's pigtails. Rather, they have a light, barely perceptible touch of infantility, which gives the very charm that is practically impossible to resist.

Their charming smile disarms almost immediately, conquering most often with cute dimples on their cheeks and lively facial expressions in general. And sometimes just a sonorous voice and a burst of laughter are enough to forever settle down with this or that person.

Of course, the word "charming" for everyone has its own connotation and is perceived by everyone quite subjectively. Different people understand it a little differently, but the general concept is quite simple and obvious to everyone. Such a person cannot be confused with anyone in the crowd, however, as well as finding a second one is impossible. Who knows, maybe the secret of charm is uniqueness? Or maybe in a certain zodiac sign?

In fact, no psychological, sociological or any other study will give a complete answer to this question. Our life is full of mysteries that will never be able to solve, which, of course, is for the best. Just one of these miracles can be called the most incomprehensible, ephemeral, but at the same time so obvious female charm ...

An attractive woman is considered to be the owner of ideal facial features and a slender figure. This misconception is refuted by many men who pay attention to completely opposite parameters. What influences the attractiveness of girls?

Regardless of the fact that all women are completely different (tall or short, with a curvaceous figure or a boyish type), men can like them.

Many factors make women attractive:

• external data;
• grooming;
• properly selected clothes and shoes;
• demeanor;
• intelligence;
• self confidence.

Let's consider the influence of these parameters in more detail.

Attractive external data

The first impression is made by the appearance of a person. There are ideal external data that attract attention. For example, a flawlessly oval face, large almond-shaped eyes, full lips, and a long neck are considered the most attractive. If the appearance of a woman does not correspond to the recognized canons of beauty, it must be remembered that all flaws must be corrected. The shape of the face can be changed by choosing the right hairstyle, eyes and lips are quite easy to give the desired shape and visually enlarge with makeup. Facial features can be easily corrected with foundation, and the neck can be lengthened by choosing the right cutout on clothes.

The figure and its parameters that attract

At the first meeting, the figure is also evaluated. It is believed that men are attracted to women with curvaceous breasts, slim waist and wide hips.

Considering the various parameters of the figures, it is important to emphasize the merits by choosing the right clothes:

1. Lush breasts can be obtained with the help of special underwear.
2. Fitted skirts and dresses will highlight the narrow waist.
3. To make the hips wider will help clothes extended to the bottom or a pencil skirt.
4. For slim and long legs, you should use heels.

Well-groomed and neat attractive woman

Even a girl who is far from the canons of beauty can look attractive. There is a belief that there are no ugly women. Carefully caring for yourself, highlighting the positive aspects with the help of cosmetics and emphasizing the beneficial features of the figure (performing sports exercises) - you will become interesting to men.

They do not like unkempt women, and too catchy scare them. Therefore, when coloring hair, pay attention to natural shades, make-up is best done in pastel colors, and manicure should be neat, medium length and without acid colors. Deciding to attract the attention of the opposite sex with bright makeup or clothes, try not to cross the fine line of vulgarity.

Men prefer naturalness in a woman. An important parameter of grooming is a healthy smile and a pleasant smell. Therefore, maintaining the beauty and health of your teeth, visit your dentist regularly. It is advisable to use perfumes with a light and unobtrusive aroma, avoiding harsh odors.

Fashionable shoes and clothes attract attention

A woman dressed beautifully and fashionably will be noticed by men. You don't have to follow every trend. Do not forget that it is not what is fashionable that is beautiful, but what is beautiful is fashionable. If the chosen clothes do not suit you, then its price and mention in glamor magazines will not be important. Therefore, when choosing fashionable things, make sure that they emphasize the dignity of your figure and match the color.

Choose not rough shoes, because the elegance of the female foot has been valued at all times. If men's shoes are in fashion, they should not be worn on thin girlish legs. The choice of accessories and jewelry is very important, they can decorate a simple dress or emphasize the dignity of appearance.

Manners of behavior: facial expressions, voice, gestures ...

Manners often serve as an enticing factor for men. If you want to attract a guy, use special gestures, looks, postures and facial expressions (each girl has her own arsenal). Men respond to deep chest voices or laughter because they sound sexy and calm. A high and loud voice evokes associations with a hysterical person. In this case, try to speak and laugh more quietly.

Intelligence is able to attract and interest

There is a misconception that men love stupid girls. This is not so, they choose women with whom there are topics for conversation. Any man wants to have a personality next to him and be proud of his chosen one, so smart women are always popular. Trying to listen to his words and talk less about your affairs, you will become his indispensable companion.

Why would a woman draw attention to herself?

Attention is an important part of modern society. Thanks to the increased interest, a person feels his importance, becomes more self-confident and more successful in life. Women are no exception either. Each of them tries to look better and earn the approval of others.

Attention from men

The female representatives are inherent in nature to attract the attention of men. This is required to create a family and increase their own self-esteem. Usually some of them are surrounded by many fans, while others remain unnoticed on the sidelines. It seems to such girls that there is no chance to please a man, but this is not so. There are many ways to be in the center of male attention. To attract the interest of others, highlight the positive aspects, hide the shortcomings, be friendly, calm and smiling. These women are not allowed by men.

Own ego and love of beauty

The interest of others is required for women for greater self-confidence. In such cases, you should show your intelligence and personality. Do not try for the sake of your own ambition to underestimate the mental abilities of others, by doing this you will achieve the exact opposite effect.

It is believed that beautiful people are more susceptible to outside interest than inconspicuous ones. Therefore, ladies with rich natural data or who have achieved attractiveness through careful care, it is easy to win signs of attention from the opposite sex.

Parameters of female attractiveness through the eyes of a man

Attractiveness in the eyes of men has almost the same indicators as in women.

For them, the following parameters are important:

1. Youth (18 - 25 years). Communicating with a chosen one younger than himself, he feels younger.
2. Beautiful face. Ideal facial features have always been the canon of beauty and always remain now.
3. Ideal figure. Ideal parameters are not the main thing. A fit and well-groomed girl is of interest.
4. Height. According to the standards, it is believed that a girl should be shorter than a man. There are exceptions when the guy is lower than the chosen one.
5. Gait. A light gait, accompanied by a slight swaying of the hips, looks sexy, attracts the interest of men.

These external data make only the first impression. And in the future, when communicating with a woman, other factors, such as intelligence and personality, already influence.

Attractive woman through the eyes of some presidents

To become interesting for men, you should follow the above tips, work on yourself and then confidence will appear, the most basic indicator of attractiveness. If a person likes himself, he will inspire sympathy and others.

What kind of charming girl is she? An arrogant beauty with a cold heart? An egoist in expensive outfits who only thinks about fashion? Not at all. The beauty of such girls instantly fades before the magnetism of a real charmer.

Let's remember with you some famous women who were idolized before and who are admired at the present time. It is on their examples that one can draw up a general picture of such a quality of character as charm.

The magical attraction of the charm

And what is this word "charm"? How is it interpreted? The Internet gives us the following definitions:

• conquering influence,
• attraction force,
• charm (originally - witchcraft power).

Not a single word about the external beauty of the dressed up swell. It seems that witches, sorceresses and other evil spirits possess this quality. There is some truth here, but it is devoid of any miracle and magic.

Just imagine, the company is sitting. Guys, girls: both beautiful and not very. And there is one interesting person: the figure is far from perfect, the appearance is also so-so. If you look at the photo of this woman, then there is nothing remarkable, next to the beauties she is nothing.

But what a fantastic aura is actually around her - you can go crazy! She is witty, cheerful, she has acting charisma and some special talent. All attention at the table to her alone. But at the same time she does not rise and does not become impudent. It is this woman who is the center of attraction.

What is special about her appearance and character

The beauty of a decent woman seems not quite finished. It lacks the enigmatic charm of depravity.

Etienne Rey

With a charming girl it is always easy, fun and reckless, you want to be friends with her. By the way, she is also a very good friend: she adequately assesses the situation, is always tactful and will be able to joke about the situation. In addition, she is self-critical to the point of madness and always knows how to laugh at herself.

There is beauty in it: both external and internal. Even if initially she outwardly seems far from ideal, then it’s worth talking to her even for five minutes, and you can immediately fall in love. Her inner magnetism is so strong that any external brilliance of other women seems like cheap tinsel.

Such a woman has her own personality (zest):

She may have sharp or funny facial features. And it does not matter what it is - a long nose, roundish cheeks or close-set eyes. But it does not disfigure her!

She has a radiant smile, a pleasant-sounding voice and laughter. And of any tonality, but still it can not be called nasty.

She has an expressive expression. Her gestures and emotions are always in place. They say about such women - "she is a born artist."

It's a shame when, in pursuit of fashion and beauty, some charmers try to change themselves:

Rene Zellweger I got plastic surgery and stopped being myself. None of those sweet cheeks Bridget Jones and her soft look. She "erased" like the past Rene. The forehead became motionless, the cheeks were sunken, the eyes without a spark.

Olga Kartunkova lost a lot of weight. Outwardly, she became really attractive and beautiful. Yes, and for health, this is also a big plus, but that “thunder woman” that everyone so adored was lost in it.

These actresses certainly remained charismatic charms, they are adored just as before, they have not lost confidence, but you need to get used to them in a different way. After all, there is no highlight of that main one.

What are they - "charms" of our time

Charm has no age. Sometimes even age itself helps to instill this quality in yourself. From the article you will learn that some character traits and abilities are acquired over the years.

Remember, for example, such great actresses as Rina Zelenaya, Faina Ranevskaya and Tatyana Pelzer. It was with age that their bright talent and incendiary charisma manifested themselves. Everything they did, how they spoke and how they moved was great.

Is it possible to call these old women ugly nags? Of course not! And they weren't pretty either. But popular love made them great women for many years, even after they left. And it's all thanks to their charm.

Unfortunately, we don't see this on screen right now. The charm has disappeared in everything:

Neither in the movies nor in the series is there a female personality of actresses - they are all the same in appearance, like soldiers in the army. Yes, and a special talent, too - some kind of foolishness.

Famous personalities prefer to PR on TV shows. Who raped whom, who stuffed who in the face and took away the children. Well, the "experts" are the same.

Charm is replaced by freakishness and put on the Internet. Who is thicker than silicone in the lips, in the pope and in the chest. Moreover, they compete with the number of tattoos and piercings.

And yet this quality has not become obsolete even in our time, and we see it. If a person is not pushed through and not promoted by some kind of muck. These are nuggets, talents from birth, as in the same KVN or in the Voice show. They are real, there is nothing “foreign” in them.

Charming girl through the eyes of men

Men love with their eyes - an indisputable fact. Show any man a photo of a girl without much attractiveness, he will not even draw attention to her. But even in a photo, a charmer will have something attractive, such as a radiant smile, a sparkling look or a cool pose.

A charming girl through the eyes of men is, first of all, a well-groomed girl with her own special style. She has diverse interests and is easy going. She has no claims and whims in relation to her lover, and if she wants something from him, she will do it so cunningly and sweetly that he himself will gladly give the last shirt.

She attracts the attention of all men, so her boyfriend does not always like such an extensive magnetism of his beloved. But as a rule, the charms are correct - such a woman had a choice to make the right decision, and she made it.

Will you get it? And you ask about it in your circle of friends. And do they consider you a charming girl in general? Just do not take criticism with hostility - this is the first sign that you really have problems with charm.

Don't confuse charm with "energy vampirism"

Again, there is no mysticism and magic in this, it is pure psychology. It’s just that there are people (these same “vampires”) who also seem to attract something incomprehensible to themselves, but you can quickly get tired of them and fray your nerves.

The vampire has something in common with the charmer:

Both of them can be leaders. Only the charmer does not "knock out" her leadership, but she herself is elected, because she is everyone's favorite. "Vampire" does all this impudently and is looking for weak victims for her entourage.

They are listened to carefully. I just want to listen to the charmer - with great interest and listening to every word. The "vampire" has to endure because of tact - she will not let go of the "ear on duty".

They have an aura of madness around them. Only for a charmer it can look like a carnival - general fun and laughter, while for a "vampire" everything goes into aggression or whining to the point of hysteria. These are the brawlers and love to PR.

Well, is the difference clear? Simply put, being next to a truly charming woman, you will never feel discomfort. Rather, you yourself can become a “vampire”, feeling a surge of her vital energy. Only this should not be done - such women make the world brighter, but such women must be protected!

Finally, an unusual technique

Let's do a thought experiment.

Imagine that you have the superpower to "read" men. Like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man - and you immediately know everything about him and understand what is on his mind. You would be able to get any man and have an ideal relationship and would hardly be reading this article now in search of a solution to your problem.

Who said it's impossible? Of course, you won’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.

If you're interested, you can. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for our website visitors.

Although this article is dedicated to March 8 and is primarily focused on how to charm men, the advice of psychologists given in it will be useful to both women and men, both in their personal lives and at work. After all, what is charm, charm? This is one of the tools to influence people. And possibly the most efficient.

A woman must be smart, charming,

kind and have a sense of humor.

However, I expect the same from men.

Catherine Deneuve

Have you noticed that all colleagues, superiors, mothers-in-law and mothers-in-law love a charming person, everyone is happy to help him. And a charming woman is a charming person squared. And, mind you, your most charming friend is probably not the most beautiful. Charm and beauty are two different categories. Beauty, unfortunately, often brings misfortune and suffering to women, and charm only brings good luck and prosperity!

So what is this charm?

Albert Camus gave a wonderful definition of charm: Charm is a way to get "yes" without asking a clear question».

However, the great twentieth-century skeptic Kurt Vonnegut brings us down to earth: Charm is such a trick to instantly make a person love and trust a stranger, regardless of what this stranger has in mind.».

I'm afraid we have to agree with Vonnegut: charm is a tool for influencing people, it is one of the skills . And any skill can be acquired!

No magic, just an acquired set of skills. So does Laurie Wilheim, author of How to Be Loved, Respected, and Appreciated: Each of us has a chance to become charming. If we think about what makes a person charming and start practicing these skills regularly, we can all become like Louise.».

Who is Louise? This is one extremely charming acquaintance of Lori Wilheim. In the article, which I will quote below, he tries to understand how she does it. Let's and we, together with Laurie Wilheim, decide on the key skills of charm.

How to develop charm in yourself?

Charm, as a tool for influencing people, according to Wilheim and other psychologists, includes the following techniques:

• the ability to smile
• self-confidence, inner comfort,
• naturalness, sincerity,
• attention to others
• compliments
• grooming.

The ability to smile

Youth smiles for no reason.

This is one of her main charms.

Oscar Wilde

Let's start with the simplest yet least used skill to influence people. How often do you smile during the work day? How often do you get a smile during a work day? And when such a miracle happens, it's so nice!

Here's what the site says about it Feminine Woman(thefemininewoman.com): " Men love women who smile. A smile illuminates the face. It has been scientifically proven that when you see a smiling person, your mood is lifted. That is, even at a subconscious level, he will have positive associations associated with you.».

Self-confidence, inner comfort

Returning to Louise, to quote Laurie Wilheim: She felt absolutely comfortable, she seemed able to cope with any unforeseen situation. Although she is not very tall, she seemed to be taller than the people around her. And at the same time, there was not a shadow of arrogance in her.».

Agrees with Wilheim Feminine Woman: « It doesn't matter if you have the appearance of a fashion model or not, self-confidence is always sexy and charming. A woman who is at peace and in harmony with herself always attracts men.».

Naturalness, sincerity

This skill is somewhat similar to the previous one. After all, in order to be yourself, you need self-confidence and inner comfort.

Feminine Woman: « Any man will run away if he feels insincerity. This will make him think: “What else is she hiding?”. Efforts to appear as someone else generate negative energy that will nullify your efforts. Charm and insincerity are incompatible.»

Attention to people

There is a difference between beauty and charm.

A beautiful woman is the woman that I notice.

A charming woman is one who notices me.

John Erskine

And again about Louise: “ Louise had a very "outward-looking" attitude towards others. She communicated with a person as if he were the most important person in the world, completely focused on the interlocutor. Everyone felt special because she showed him sincere attention. Next to her, people felt comfortable and cozy.».

Feminine Woman: « If you are talking to a man, ask him questions about him, about his interests. People like to talk about themselves. A man will be flattered by the attention».

One of the most famous American photographers, Richard Avedon, certainly knows what charm is, because he photographed so many famous charismatic people! However, when he defines charm, he doesn't mention a person's physical appearance at all! " I believe that charm is the ability to show genuine interest in other people.“, he writes.

compliments

It's sad when men stop giving compliments.

'Cause when they don't celebrate what's charming

they stop noticing what is charming.

Oscar Wilde

This skill is closely related to the previous one. A compliment will only be effective when you praise something that your interlocutor is really proud of. For example, you should not praise a rocker for how carefully shaved he is (if this suddenly happened to him) or a woman who gives all her strength to career growth for what a good housewife she is.

If you do not know the person well enough and are not sure what he is proud of, use the advice Feminine Woman: a woman will not miss if she praises a man's watch or tie. " Men pay more attention to the selection of these two accessories than to their entire appearance.».

Read more about compliments .

grooming

What is grooming? This is when nothing in your appearance irritates the interlocutor. It doesn't matter how expensive you are. It is important that the clothes are clean, neat and fit well, and that the accessories match your style and situation.

Clean hair, well-groomed hands and feet - it's somehow even embarrassing to talk about it. But ask yourself, do you always leave the house in a well-groomed condition? I'm not always. I have, of course, an excuse for every case. But there can no longer be any talk of charm.

Sad is the sight of an expensive thing that sits on a lady like a saddle on a cow, that is, does not fit her figure or age. It is even sadder to see a lady on the beach in the morning with an evening clutch in her hands. Yes, the adequacy of appearance is also an element of grooming.

Here is how Lori Wilheim describes Louise's appearance: Her clothes were well-chosen and fit her figure perfectly, the colors of the clothes suited her very well, her short hair was neat and showed her face.».

The main thing is not to overdo it

Feminine Woman gives another very useful tip: do not overdo it.

We all really want to please other people: the opposite sex, bosses, friends. But if this desire becomes excessive, we achieve the opposite effect - we push people away from us.

Below are the most common errors from this area by version Feminine Woman:

• Smile, but don't laugh hysterically.
• Make eye contact with the other person, but don't stare!
• Be confident, but not arrogant and arrogant.
• Show interest in the interlocutor, but do not bother him. The 100th question can already start to annoy.
• When it comes to captivating a member of the opposite sex, light tactile contact is very useful: an accidental touch of hands or knees. But excessive patting of a partner causes the opposite effect.

Practice Charm Skills

So, charm is a skill that you can and should develop in yourself in order to influence people both at work and in your personal life.

Don't forget the technique of developing new skills, which I have repeatedly recommended. Identify two or three elements of charm from the list given in the article that you have the most lame. Make a schedule for them. Every evening write down how many times you think of them and apply them. Successful or not? Rate yourself. Keep working on these skills for three months. After this period, they will become a habit.