How do Indians treat Russian women? What do Indian men think about Russian women?

This is probably an Indian prince, a model from a clothing catalog, no less. Maharaja. Imagination pictures something like this.)))

Indian men - stress or exotic? I sit at the computer at night, work, and don’t bother anyone. Someone frantically starts dialing me on Skype. I politely ask via written message who is knocking on Skype in the middle of the night and why. It turned out that a black-haired young man from India, Kashmir, 31 years old, wanted to meet at random and talk. There is no limit to surprise, what if I bearded man? The Indian young man insists on talking and sends his photo. I politely refuse. And for the third day now, the restless Indian guy has been calling and texting me on Skype at night and in the evenings to no avail. It's time to be blacklisted. However, it became interesting what such restless Indian men?

The Slavic wife has always been a source of pride for foreigners from America to Japan. Whatever the reasons that give rise to such a high demand in the bride market, our women cannot be denied popularity. In turn, modern ladies are also well aware of the situation, and from time to time a fashion arises for men from a certain region. Today, American and German “classics”, Arabic and Japanese “extreme” have faded into the background. The focus is on mysterious India and no less mysterious Indian men.

But this is the average option improved by education. Let's say a doctor or a programmer.

And here is a wild improved average version.

Many may not agree, but certain trends in the marriage field exist one way or another. For an explanation, psychologists advise turning to the banal market theory - no matter how cynical it may sound, in matters of marriage we consciously or unconsciously act according to the same scenario. It is not customary to say this out loud, but other things being equal, people would stereotypically prefer a Japanese worker, a Scandinavian designer, a French lover and, for example, a German husband. Generalizations are very conditional, but they form a certain fashion.

Historical and social background. There are more men than women in India. Because in order to marry off your daughter, you need to pay the groom a certain amount money, then the birth of a daughter means losses for the family in the future, since she will take away significant funds from the family in the form of a dowry. In this regard, in India at one time selective abortions were common, when, when determining the sex of a child by ultrasound, a woman gets rid of the fetus if it is a girl.
Now in India it is officially prohibited to determine the sex of an unborn child using ultrasound. Of course, in modern India there is a certain proportion of women who have received an education and live according to more civilized rules. But their number is not so large as to indicate a significant improvement in the rights of Indian women. Attempts to legally ban selective abortions have not yielded much results, which has led to a change in the composition of the population towards more men. However, this problem, created by the Indians themselves, has not yet prompted Indian society to make fundamental changes.

Unlike European standards, it is enough for a woman in India to be a good wife and mother, and a man does not need to explain why he should fully provide for the family and help his parents
We will not talk about women for whom getting married abroad means a chance to improve their standard of living. However, even those who are looking for great and pure love, often limit their search to a very specific region or even one country. This is, in principle, understandable: cultural differences can be insurmountable, and few people in their right mind would want to live somewhere in Zimbabwe. IN total mass Hot Ukrainian women are close to temperamental Italians, economical Russian women are close to thorough Germans, and calm Belarusians are close to reserved Scandinavians. Such inclinations are confirmed by statistics from marriage services.

Bollywood.

People are of course different everywhere, both beautiful and not beautiful. The percentage is equal in almost all races and nationalities.

This is the recruitment of new recruits into the Indian Army. Real photo from the fields. They are all very different as you can see. Of course, the nationwide, unusual to us, somewhat unpleasant in my opinion, “darkness and swarthyness” is evident.

Why did the trends suddenly turn to the East? Psychologist Elena Kostyuk explains this by ideal cultural and genetic compatibility. At first glance, this is not at all obvious: how can it be - incomprehensible and somewhat barbaric India and we are all so... different. In fact, Indian culture at one time almost became the basis for Slavic culture. Vedas, runic writing, pagan gods and legends, even language (and now you can find many words with the same root), and most importantly, family values. An Indian man, like a Slavic woman, is focused on creating a family; the family structure also does not differ much, but the most important thing is that these ideas largely coincide. Unlike European standards, it is enough for a woman to be a good wife and mother, and a man does not need to explain why he should fully provide for the family and help his parents. Plus a beautiful courtship, a rather soft temperament and the needs of the family in the first place - and a new Indian-Slavic unit of society is ready. This is a kind of balance between the radical East, too strict towards the freedom-loving Slav, and the West, obsessed with cold rationalism.

A guy looking to meet me at random via Skype. Sorry buddy, you're screwed. Be careful with online dating.

Why do we need this?
The most main reason- a banal imbalance of men and women in the main three suppliers of brides Russia-Belarus-Ukraine. It is known that there are disproportionately few men here, and if you also subtract the infantile egoists spoiled by traditional upbringing, those who drink, have certain problems and, finally, are simply lazy, then the figure will be completely microscopic. It's different from India - they have a catastrophic shortage of girls, but they have more than enough guys of all stripes. Any Slavic woman, simply walking down a street in an Indian city, will forever receive a vaccination against all complexes, a hundred compliments and a dozen marriage proposals (a couple of which will be in all seriousness). In India there are many poor, many rich, and there is also a middle class that is quite typical for us. Not all Indians will be able to live with a foreign woman, not everyone earns enough for our usual level of comfort, not everyone good intentions towards a white girl. Some are frankly ugly and many are uneducated. But there are simply a huge number of attractive young (and not only) people - with an excellent education, the right worldview and the desire to start a family.

Our girls get married in the “Olympiad” way - to those who came on exchange or former students. Someone left their heart during tourist trip, while others, inspired by example, deliberately register on Indian dating sites. By the way, unlike Western resources, most men there are focused specifically on starting a family. And it is considered normal when the questionnaire is filled out by relatives or close friends. True, due to the same tradition, many give preference to Indian women, but Slavic beauties also receive a lot of attention. And Indians know how to look after best traditions Bollywood - with poems (sometimes even with songs and dances), passionate confessions, promises to throw the world at your feet and love until death, dramatic gestures and other attributes of sugar melodramas.

Why do they need this?
Everyone has their own reasons. One of the most important is the inability or unwillingness to find a partner in India. In some states there are very few women, and those suitable for a young man with modern views- even less. Indian women are often unemotional, constrained by traditional upbringing, and often uneducated. Sometimes financial situation, family status, or parental plans become obstacles. In addition, among young people it is prestigious to have a foreign girlfriend: Slavic women are considered very beautiful (especially blondes, exotic for the East), caring and smart. A wife from abroad is also a challenge to the norms, audacity and self-affirmation, because even today most marriages are arranged by agreement between parents and resemble bargaining, where the material condition and social status of both families are necessarily taken into account, and the interests of young people are purely symbolic meaning. As a result, the norm is a situation where in a young family there is almost no sex life. A husband may never see his wife without clothes in his entire life, and relationships on the side are carefully hidden only from neighbors.

However, in this spicy barrel of honey, half comes from the tar, when the pros turn into cons. Often white girls play the role of an expensive toy (including a sexual one) before marriage according to their parents’ choice. Indians are capable of fooling their heads for years, having children, living in two families, lying about the death of their mother, telling the Great Sad Story throughout your life and invent other reasons that “not yet” allow you to introduce your chosen one to your family or officially register your marriage. At this time, the “poor lover” may well be raising three children at home or preparing for own wedding. For some reason, it is believed that all foreign women are fabulously rich, so a narrow-minded but handsome dark-skinned young man can persistently drag down any lady with foreign name. At the same time, “madame” must pay for the entertainment of the “poor, but selflessly loving” young man, and if you're lucky, then for something bigger than drinks at the club.

Historical reference. The most tall men- in Northern Europe, the lowest - in India and Southeast Africa. Average height Indian man - 165 cm.

Why Indian?

* Ddiana: Because of the character. Calm, takes good care of children, helps around the house, no bad habits.

* 0luу: I purposefully looked for just such a man. Bright films, passionate dances of Indian machos in videos, heartfelt chats with residents of Hindustan, Indian friends with whom it was very interesting played a role... But the main thing was their perception of life, positive thinking, their desire for complete reunification with the soul of their beloved.

* Jalpari: Yes, of course, everything is beautiful in Indian cinema, the heroes are ready to give their lives for their loved ones and overcome all obstacles, while singing beautiful songs.

But in life everything is much more prosaic. And for the most part, Indian men, on the contrary, are not brought up very well romantic natures, they do not know how to court (because arranged marriages are frequent) and exert themselves (there is no need to win a girl). So all these rosy fairy tales are only in films. In life everything is completely different.

* NatalyaGhotra: My Indian and I are freed from drunken Fridays, the smell of fumes, the stench of socks and armpits, swearing, passive smoking and disrespect for my mother.

* Luanika: My Indian knows how to love sincerely and tenderly, and passionately, and devotedly and... I used to think that only in Indian films such love happens, but it turns out that they really are like that. I can call our relationship a solid Indian movie, sometimes with real dramas.

* Nadia: Reliable and faithful! This is exactly what Russian men cannot boast of!

* Alia: Many people are happy to travel to India solely for the purpose of seeing the country. But only a few remain there. Another thing is that many simply get used to it and resign themselves, because they see no other way out. I know more than one couple that broke up because the girl could not agree to live in India.

* Oxana Devi: My Indian compared favorably with the Russian guys. Educated, athletic, non-drinker, non-smoker, non-swearer, with respectful attitude To female, parents (including mine, even though they didn’t accept him). And, of course, interesting. From our men it is obviously clear what can be expected and what will happen in the end, but with him everything was new and unusual! Well, how can you not fall in love at twenty?

* Kusaka: My Indian smokes, and he can drink so much that my Russian relatives opened their mouths. Therefore, to the question why Indian, I cannot answer the same way as many girls. And even though I myself am just these bad habits confuse

and tense, I love him, smoking and wildly emotional, drinking vodka in Russian, but very gentle, caring and overly smart. He turned out to be so similar to my dad, who was mine best friend in life, he is similar in a way that no original Russian guy was similar.

* leno4ka_love: I have never had obsessive thoughts to connect your life with a foreigner, especially with an Indian. Now I see that in many ways Indians are superior to Russians, in at least my husband. Indians are much more likely to do romantic things than Russians. And they know how to have fun very well and most often without alcohol. In our relationship there were many of the same moments as in Indian cinema: romance, passion, and intensity of relationships with an unknown ending. They're all very hot. So this is another plus in favor of the Indians.

We thank the forum members of forum.bharatconnect.net for their answers.

But all those above in the photo were expectations.))) But here is the harsh reality.

Bollywood with borscht flavor
Maryana is a typical Ukrainian with curvaceous and explosive character. She met her future husband Pran at one of the conferences. In the back is a typical jock, in front - an intellectual with glasses. He intrigued the girl as an exotic curiosity. All week they conducted exclusively semi-scientific debates, and after that they lived for two years in front of an Internet camera. The young man still could not earn money for a bright future and talk about his Ukrainian love conservative parents who slowly sent him photos of girls suitable for marriage. Temperamental Maryana tried to break off the relationship several times, but each time Pran created drama in the best Bollywood traditions, and she gave up. To keep the girl from getting bored, he sang national songs and even showed skits wrapped in a curtain. But when the second year of sobs and scandals in front of the camera was already ending, the girl set a condition: if he did not resolve his issues in three months, she would leave. Pran realized that everything was serious only when, after this time, Maryana stopped answering calls and letters. A month later, the Indian stood on the threshold of her three-ruble apartment, where her grandmother, two hamsters and a dog lived with the girl’s parents. Right on the threshold, he made an offer and, quickly getting his bearings, divided large bouquet roses for three dumbfounded women. To say that the parents were shocked is to say nothing. The mother clutched her heart and moaned that she would not let her girl go “to the Papuans,” the grandmother regarded the guy as an unusual animal and kept trying to feed him bananas. As a result, after talking with his future son-in-law, the father made a decision: there will be a wedding, but in Kyiv.

In Jaipur, the whole street came to look at the Ukrainian daughter-in-law. And for the family, the news about their son’s marriage was a real horror. Her mother didn’t even want to talk to her, and her father defiantly poured the cooked borscht onto the barnyard. Carefully chosen gifts were contemptuously turned over in their hands and distributed to neighbors. On the very first night, the mother-in-law screwed the doorknob to the wall hook, so that the couple’s bedroom remained open all the time, “because you never know what can happen behind the scenes.” closed doors" By the way, the husband’s parents defiantly did not close their doors, and the mother went to bed wearing a sari. The next day, relatives came running and, without ceremony, reached into their suitcases to look at clothes, touched hair and fingers with extended nails, talking in the local dialect. Pran declared that they would live with their parents and that's when all hell broke loose.

Maryana had to get up at half past six and do all the housework, do the family’s laundry, cook exclusively local food and not leave the house without permission. She found things spoiled, neighborhood aunts wearing Guerlain lipstick, and more matchmakers in the living room. After a week of such life, the girl rebelled. Maryana hammered a huge latch into the door with her own hands and ignored all her mother-in-law’s knocks until 10 am, then she put on jeans, a very revealing top and, grabbing a neighbor’s teenage girl, went shopping. By lunchtime she was greeted at the gate by the whole house, but attempts to scold her were met with a rebuke in the spirit of “hands on hips - and on the tank.” As a result, when Pran came home from work, there was a pot of borscht and a dish of dumplings on the table. The young people ate with pleasure, but the parents did not touch it. Maryana ran the kitchen for two days until the family gave up. Carefully making faces, they nevertheless tried Ukrainian cuisine for several days - from mochanka to jelly, but in the end they presented their son with an ultimatum: he must take his wife “where he got it” or he is not their son.

Here Pran rebelled, he took his wife and went to live in Delhi. Suddenly it turned out that it is customary here to hire an assistant (and, in fact, a servant) to do housework, that you can arrange the apartment to your liking and cook only for your own pleasure. Outside the parental home, the husband changed a lot and tried to fill the void that formed away from friends, family and his favorite job. Gradually, Maryana fell in love with India, Pran helped her open a design studio, they traveled a lot, and gifts from all over the country flew to Kyiv, and three years later they had twins. When the children turned two years old, the young family decided to go to Jaipur again. This time the kids were able to melt away the open hostility, and borscht became a signature dish, which the whole street now enjoys preparing. The marriage of Maryana and Pran is already six years old, and both have not regretted their decision for a minute.

Passed by twice
Anna and Nikhil's romance began during the monsoon season in Mumbai. The handsome doctor knew how to look after her, and by the end of the vacation the girl left head over heels in love. He called her every day, and six months later she went to India again to support the man in difficult moment. He did not come to meet her, and the girl got to her lover’s house herself. But Nikhil did not even let her enter the threshold, so as not to disturb the peace of his dying parents. Anna rented a room in a cheap hotel and fought with insects all day, and in the evening Nikhil came and spent the night with her. He constantly borrowed money for taxis and food and “suffered a lot.” One evening he called and said that his parents were very bad and he would not come, but what a pity: they would never see his bride. The girl rushed to his house so as not to deprive the old people of their last joy, and what was her surprise when she found the elderly couple quite healthy and not even suspecting of her existence. But the worst thing was that Nikhila’s wife came out to meet her - a pretty young Indian woman with a child in her arms. By the way, the man turned out to be not a respected and busy doctor at all, but an ordinary waiter who borrowed clothes from his friends for dates. Losing his temper, he threatened to spill intimate photos Anna on the Internet and deleted them only under an oath that he would never see her on the threshold of his house again.

Among Indian youth, it is prestigious to date a foreign girl: Slavic women are considered very beautiful (especially blondes, exotic for the East), caring and smart. A wife from abroad is also a challenge to conventions, audacity and self-affirmation
A year after the story with Nikhil, Anna married Arjun, a guide from Agra. Before the wedding mehendi had even left her hands, it turned out that she was obliged to obey her husband in everything, to wear only Indian clothes, cook only Indian food. She is obliged to please his friends, who make noise in the kitchen all night and can camp in their house for several days, but she cannot spend money on herself. A silent elderly Indian woman helped her with the housework, and the neighbors only talked about housework and TV series. A culturologist by training, Anna went crazy from this medieval life, but her husband was happy with everything. Slow, like all Indians, he never managed to do anything, earned little, but commanded a lot. The girl was able to live in Agra for only a year and a half; she often wandered among numerous attractions and, it seems, was the only way to escape. It's been a year since she returned to St. Petersburg, where she lives with her son Arnav, and it seems that she is now allergic to Indians.

Everything is ahead
- I met Sanjay on the Internet two and a half years ago. He wrote to me on a dating site, where I registered to improve my self-esteem,” says Olesya from Minsk. - I immediately rejected the idea that my boyfriend could be Asian. Not for racist reasons - very much so different cultures. However, India was a welcome exotic for me, and I really wanted to talk to a real Indian. And when Sanjay wrote a correct and polite message, I thought that it’s definitely not forbidden to talk, even if I don’t like the person outwardly. And his photo, I must say, was terrible. At first I bombarded him with questions like “is it true that...”, he wrote long letters about ourselves, and then we didn’t notice how we became friends.

When he turned on the camera, I realized that I was in trouble. The guy turned out to be a real handsome guy with a stunning smile, I even slid onto the floor and sat, silent, and he was afraid that he didn’t like me. Directly on the Internet, Sanjay invited me to date and then marry him (we hadn’t even met yet then). Then he came here, met my family, I heard his parents only on the phone. I have to wait another two years for him.

Maybe to some I will seem crazy, but for me no closer than a person. He talks to me every day for two years on Skype, supports me, puts up with all my hysterics and whims. Loving from a distance is very difficult, and I tried to break it off more than once - it all became so unbearable, but even from another country he managed to prevent this. Sanjay is gentle and at the same time does not allow himself to be suppressed. And he is very, very patient - we don’t have such men here.

I have my own small business in Minsk, and I’m one of those girls who won’t eat, but will buy Louboutin shoes. I need comfort and prosperity, and I know that Sanjay cannot provide them for me. I can’t give up my ideas: I’ve worked for this all my life. You could say I'm a bitch and a careerist, I know that if I decide to be with him, they will big problems- we just have absolutely different levels minimal comfort. But, even being sure that our common tomorrow is impossible, I believe: he will find a way out, and I will get my own personal Bollywood love story.

Why Indians love Russians.

• Famous in Soviet time The slogan “Hindi Rusi bhai, bhai” - “Indians and Russians are brothers” - has not lost any relevance today. On the contrary, experts speak loudly about the growing prospects for a union between the two countries. But not only the governments - the people of India and Russia are indeed disposed towards each other, and there are several explanations for this.

Russians are beautiful.

This applies equally to both women and men. Every nation has its own idea of ​​beauty, and our stereotypes in this regard are very close to Indian ones. It's not just about white skin - there are a lot of white tourists from all over the world in India. But ask any Goan (and they have seen foreigners): “Who do you like better - Russians, English or, say, Germans?” The answer will be unequivocal - Russians. Big eyes, correct oval face and physical proportions from a Bollywood point of view, expressive gestures... Every Russian is a potential star of Indian cinema. By the way, Indian actors and actresses evoke similar feelings among us. Perhaps this is why the number of Russian-Indian marriages is steadily growing in India.

Russian writer Alexander Maharaja with his wife - "Miss South India" - Archena.

Russians are smart.

At the everyday level, this manifests itself paradoxically. Russians are one of the few foreigners who practically do not speak English. English language. But at the same time, it is with the Russians that the average Indian manages to talk about anything - about the weather, politics, sports.In addition, the Indian and the Russian develop friendly relations.

But besides purely social ones, there are also historical reasons. During the years of Soviet-Indian friendship in the USSR, I completed my studies a large number of Indians. Almost every elderly Indian doctor or engineer studied in Russia. For example, the wonderful doctor Vikram works in Marndrem, who asks to be called Victor. He received medical education in Moscow, from where he brought his wife Tanya, and now they have their own private Russian-speaking clinic for tourists in Goa.

Russians are strong.

India is today's main buyer of Russian weapons. It’s easy to verify: Dabolim Airport, which receives all tourists arriving in Goa, is actually a military airfield. Even on approach, it is easy to notice the orderly rows of Russian Su and MiGs on the airfield.

This also includes Russian-Indian cooperation in the field of nuclear energy. This year Russia will supply its sixteenth nuclear reactor to India. A nuclear aircraft carrier is also being built jointly.

In general, Indians take issues of military cooperation very seriously. Negotiations are underway with the Russians on a visa-free regime.

Russians are dreamers and philosophers.

Without going much into the history of Marxism, Indians consider Russia to be the country that invented communism. And this idea is extremely popular in India. Currently, the Communist Party of India leads parliaments in three Indian states: Keralla (since 1957), West Bengal and Tripura. In the remaining states, communists occupy second and third places in parliament in terms of numbers.

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Indians really liked the idea of ​​universal equality and brotherhood. Without any embarrassment, they claim that Lenin is the Russian Buddha, since he called for loving all the poor and disadvantaged, and there are plenty of them in India.

It is not uncommon to encounter communist symbols on the streets of Indian cities. Ordinary Indians know very well and can list almost all Soviet leaders. In Kerala, for example, you can meet people with popular “Russian” names - Stalin, Khrushchev, Lenin. By the way, in the same Kerala in 1957, residents of one of the villages decided to rename their settlement Moscow, and they were allowed.

They treat Putin with respect, but they perceive the collapse of the USSR philosophically and, smiling, say to every Russian: “It’s okay, communism didn’t work out for you, maybe it will work out for us.”

Russians are truly brothers.

In Russia, this fact became known only in the last century, but the Indians, it turns out, knew about it thousands of years ago. The fact is that 34% of modern Indians, mainly from northern India, are carriers of the Slavic genetic haplogroup R1a (differentiation R1a1-M198, presumably occurred within the Eurasian steppes or in the Middle East and Caucasus, since they lie between South Asia and Central and Eastern Europe). In general, relatives.

Representative of the Himalayan Kalash tribe (border of India and Pakistan)

We don’t know, but the Indians are sure that their historical ancestral home is in the north of Europe. More precisely, in Russian regions close to the Arctic Circle. About 12 thousand years ago, as a result of a planetary natural disaster, the ancestors of the Slavs and Indians were forced to move south, and some of them settled in the foothills of the Himalayas, giving rise to Indian civilization.

This is how the homeland of the Aryans, the Indian ancestors, is described in the epic “Mahabharata” (4500 BC): “Here the year is half day, half night, and above the mountain (Meru, the supposed then northern pole) hangs motionless Dhruva (Polar star), around which the stars walk - the Seven Rickshaws (Ursa Major) and Arundhati (Cassiopeia).”

On the left is Vologda, on the right is Indian embroidery.

Much later, already in the twentieth century, Indian and Soviet scientists found a lot of secondary signs indicating the original commonality of the cultures of the Slavs and Indians. First of all, this is indicated by toponyms - the names of rivers and mountains. So, in Russia there are the rivers Ganges, Indigirka, Shiva, Kailasa, lakes Rama, Gangozero, Padma (translated from Hindi means “lotus”, and there are really a lot of water lilies in this lake) and others. The outstanding Indian scientist Bal Gangadhar Tilak carried out a huge amount of work on comparing the toponyms of Russia and India, describing it in his book “The Arctic Homeland in the Vedas.”

IN This is how the heroes of the Mahabharata, kings Kanishka and Vasudeva, looked like in the Indian imagination.

Linguists are not far behind historians. Everyone knows that we speak languages ​​belonging to the Indo-European branch. But upon closer inspection, Slavic languages and the now extinct language of the ancient Indians, Sanskrit, are one and the same. Here are some examples, Russian words on the left, Sanskrit on the right:

• Fall, fall away - fall, fall away
• Swim, swim across - plu, paraplu
• Give, give - yes, yes
• To love - lub
• Favorite - kokhani (kohannaya - Ukrainian)
• Heaven - nabhasa
• Fire - agni
• Foam - phena
• Cookies - pachana
• Wooden - dravya
• Bloody - bloody
• When - when
• Then - then

Usually all stories have a happy conclusion, maybe mine will one day fall into this category too. I'm afraid to bore everyone by talking about my problems, but maybe someone, after reading this and thinking about it, will not repeat my mistake.

I stepdaughter, my mother (who adopted me) brought me from the Chita region very little, when I was six months old. She was brought up in strictness, but was never denied anything. The only problem, which played a bad role in my fate - my mother had an addiction to alcohol. I remember that I was very afraid of her and was waiting for my exit into an adult, independent life.

Time flies very quickly... I received a secondary education and worked. But the habit of being afraid never left me. Sometimes I wanted to run away, to hide somewhere. But where? I lived like that until one phone call came...

Beautiful autumn evening, it is mine favorite time of the year. One of my classmates, who is interested in India, called and invited me to the House of Friendship for one of Indian holidays. After much persuasion, I agreed. At this holiday, I was followed on my heels by an Indian boy, who, to be honest, didn’t like me in any way, I didn’t understand him well, and I didn’t care. When we parted, I asked for my phone number, I didn’t give my phone number (I was an adult, but I was still afraid of my mother), but one of the workers wrote to me.

Enough for a long time he didn’t call, I had already forgotten about the evening and about the boy from India. But it was not there. One fine moment at work I was called to the phone, where the fuzzy Russian language reminded me of the autumn meeting at the House of Friendship on Arbat. I don’t know why, but I didn’t refuse to meet him. Having called the same classmate, I came with her to Sportivnaya station. Coming out of the carriage, I saw a boy who looked like the one I had already seen, and at the same time, no, he was very different. Pull up, neat haircut, dressed in classic style. Something touched me, I remember, I even admired him. And so our friendship began - pure, trusting, naive and very kind...

Having gotten to know him better, I gathered all the strength I had and told my mother about our meetings. I remember she was shocked, and I immediately received the answer: “You have to finish everything. This is not yours. If you leave, you’ll become a maid...” After listening to everything, I hid and never spoke to her about anything again, but our secret meetings continued. This obstacle and at the same time fear gave me some strength for resourcefulness, lies - which was never in my character...

So the years passed. There is another segment in my life, which led me to the desire to be with him forever, but I am unable to write about it, I am writing this, and my eyes are drowning in tears...

The Hindu had to leave Russia, but I had some hope that we would definitely be together. I received letters from India through his friends, because... Mom had a habit of reading them. I remember I very often saw dreams that were prophetic. For example, when I got up at work after resting, I already knew that he would call me - and it came true. And more than once. We talked to him like this long distance, but the last distant call turned out to be very close. He joked and already said with confidence that our meeting was not far off.

It was really so, he returned to Moscow with the words that we would stay together forever. A month after his arrival, we submitted an application to the registry office and were looking forward to the start of our official relations. Now we don’t have to hide, lie, dodge. Mom, of course, was against it, but it happened. I married a Hindu. Many residents from the house where I lived with my mother were sincerely happy for me. That's it, now we are together, and our countdown has begun. family life.

It was quite difficult - I worked, he studied. At first I had to live with my mother, as I think you understand all the subtleties of this period of marriage... But the world is not without good people, because I also helped them somehow...

The emergency room doctor advised me to live with a paralyzed woman, without pay, but with care for her. My God, what a blessing it was to live separately and not spend money! As for wasting my energy, I didn’t pay any attention to it, and neither did he, I just knew that it had to be done.

So it happened, and continues to this day. As I loaded it, I’m taking it.

Here I learned the secrets of family life for the first time. By no means what you might think. Those secrets that I didn’t talk about until I had the strength to remain silent, and I was ashamed to tell anyone about letting go, insults... And all this after how much I did for him and continue to do until now do.

Having married a Hindu, I tied myself with these marriage bonds, although there were quite a lot of opponents to this. The first of them is my mother. Whatever the mother, she can foresee the fate of her child, and she can guide him towards the right way. M, young, daring and stubborn, we kill in them, maybe several years of such a short life...

We lived there for a very short time, bought our own apartment, it was definitely our own with a purchase and sale agreement in hand - God, what joy! So, this was the end of our walks through apartments, and in my case, through torment. We lived on new apartment happily not so long, what I mentioned above began again. Shame again: What will people from my street say when they meet me if I leave him?” That's how we all lived less joy, but sadness often upset me...

Our first baby was born 12 years later married life. It was a girl, a joy for me, my mother’s assistant. But for the husband it’s a problem. Of course, he was also very happy with her, but he immediately warned her: “If she grows up a little, we’ll leave here, we need to protect her from this dirty culture.” Yes, that's how it is, living in Russian culture, choosing a life partner, living and earning a lot of things here - all this was and is still considered dirty by them.

When our daughter turned four years old, we decided to leave. By this time I had already lost my mother. Thinking that with his parents it would be better for both us and them. There were a lot of friends stopping me, but I didn’t listen. And what to do - after all, my husband said...

What can I write about my life here, in hot and contrasting India? Talking about everyone special case, I will tire not only myself, but also you. Therefore, I will make a reservation, I am writing about myself, about my destiny and in no case about India as a whole, there are a lot of happy destinies...

I guess I'll start. “Married to a Hindu” - what concept is meant in this phrase? Here the husband is God, even if he says “black” about white, you must support him, why - yes, because he is God. They beat me, humiliate me, my opinions, protests and simply desires are not taken into account. I am a machine, I have to do everything. Even if he beat me, I have no right to tell anyone this, because he is always right, and only him. You are a wife, you must understand what problems he has. He won’t go out into the street, beating someone and thereby calming his soul. For what? There is a wife nearby who, when crying, must immediately calm down and stop shedding tears. His wife, if he needs it, will go with him to separate room, even after he just beat her up. She must - her husband is a god for her...

The whole house is on my shoulders, and still: “You’re not doing anything.” Why? Yes, because you are a machine. But machines also wear out with constant use and without attention...

I don’t know where, but with the birth of my son, I gained strength and confidence that I could still do something for myself and my children. I know what difficulties await me, but, compared to the current ones, it seems to me that they will not be difficult for me - I will overcome everything. And what you need to do for this is just to get out of this hot and contrasting India. Difficulties arise when the baby was born here, he can only leave with his father, and if without him, then he needs a receipt stating that he gives the right to take your child out. So far this is one of my main obstacles, but I think it can be overcome...

The right to decide is yours - to have it or not to have it. Think about it if you don’t want to lose everything later.

Preparing for family life - grateful work: distance (online) course

Keitan Subaji, a 28-year-old Goan, a physical education teacher, has never been outside India, but he has many friends and acquaintances among foreigners, including Russians. In an interview with “S”, he shared his opinion about Russian women, Putin and the changing life around him.

“Russian women are very strong,” says Keitan. - You can make decisions on your own. For example, if you want to travel, you do it. Earn your own money and leave. No one can stop you, no one has the right to prohibit you, because this is your life.

Indian women have different values; they are much more dependent on their family: parents or husband. They are unable to escape beyond the boundaries of their lives. If a girl is 25 years old, her parents only think about getting her married. If she announced that she was going to see the world, they would twist a finger at her temple: she’s crazy! And God forbid, if a girl wants to travel alone, people will immediately decide that she is a whore.

It’s bad when your family decides everything for you: where to study, who to marry. Everyone has own feelings, and he must have a choice: to live the way your mother lived, and before that your grandmother and great-grandmother, in the same house, among the same surroundings, or live in the modern world.

Information: Goa is a state in southwest India, the smallest among the states in area and one of the last in population. Former Portuguese colony. Population - 1.5 million people.

- But your women also work and earn money?

- Yes. When I worked in a bank, there were six men for every ten women. My boss was a woman. But they only spend the money they earn on their family and boyfriends. Nowadays, many Indian girls go abroad to study, become photographers, models and never come back.

- But what happens if you lose this, lose your family?

- Of course, this is bad, not only for Indians, for any people. But we have too much family influence. If you are removed from the circle, you will never be accepted back.

- Under what circumstances can this happen?

- With a variety of different ones. For example, if you fall in love with someone from a different caste. I have a Brahmin friend who fell in love with a girl from a lower caste: people there earn their living exclusively manual labor: they make some things from bamboo sticks or something like that. The girl reciprocated his feelings, but they could not be together precisely because of caste differences.

— What is really the difference between people from different castes?

- Yes, there is no difference! There are two lower castes in India: some make things from bamboo sticks, others, for example, shine shoes. A guy from the same caste worked with me at the bank - he was no different from me. We even shared food with him, and that was normal.

— How can you find out that a person belongs to a certain caste?

- We have different surnames. Of course, you can change your last name, but everyone still knows where you came from, they see the color of your skin, which is a little different. Now many people don't care, but there are still a lot of religious and superstitious people in India. We are the largest country in the world that believes in supernatural forces.

— What professions are the most prestigious in India?

- Teachers, doctors, police officers. Almost everything depends on the latter. If someone catches you at night, the cops will help. If you want to have a late night party, the cops are here to help. If someone hurts you, the cops will help. You can even buy tickets for the Sunburn festival from them.

- But they have to pay for everything?

- And a lot of money. You pay the police and they solve all your problems. That's why everyone here wants to be a cop.

Such different people

Keitan dreams of traveling: he intends to first visit all 29 states of India, and only then go beyond its borders. A month ago, he traveled around Rajasthan (this is a state in western India, on the border with Pakistan - author). He says he was struck by the people and how different they were from the Goans: “They are much happier, although poorer. They are cheerful, full of enthusiasm, very musical. There is beautiful architecture there, delicious food, although there are no fish there due to the lack of sea.”

“Last year in the Himalayas, I saw snow for the first time in my life and flew on an airplane for the first time,” says Keitan. “If I really liked the snow, although I’ve never been so cold before, then I definitely don’t want to fly anymore.”

- What do you like to eat?

— Fish curry with rice. I worked for ten years in a café on the seashore that belongs to my family, and, of course, I ate there for free. So, every day I waited until five o'clock in the morning to eat freshly caught fish curry. And I'm not tired of it.

But, in principle, I can eat any food. If I'm hungry, I'll eat anything. Give me some bread and cheese and I'll eat it. Once, Russian friends even treated me to lamb shish kebab. It was very tasty.

— Do you like to fish?

- Oh yeah! This year, from April to July, I fished almost every day from seven in the morning to ten in the evening alone.

- A favorite remedy movement?

— I love driving a bike. We wanted to go to Rajasthan by bike, I invested all my money in preparing it, but then my friend and I counted the number of days we would spend on the road and the time we would spend on the spot, and decided to go by train.

— How do you feel about Russians?

— I like Russians, although I must admit that your language seems very rude. Because of this, many locals consider you aggressive. And not only locals.

In the 60s of the last century, when hippies appeared in Goa, life changed a lot. Before that, we only did fishing and growing rice. Americans and Europeans brought new subcultures that were alien to us, for example, nudism. Then Jews appeared, many Jews, but when Russians began traveling to Goa, the Jews fled to other states.

Everything becomes different. We also began to constantly think about money, drink a lot, always rush and show aggression.

— What do you think about Putin?

— Of course, Putin is a dictator, and some of his decisions seem stupid to me, for example, the fact that he banned Russians from traveling to some countries. But on the other hand, it is clear that he cares about you. I wish India had such a ruler.

— Now I want to work at school, with children, and with the little ones,” he clarifies. He . - Second important thing for me it’s studying yoga: I plan to take special courses. Yoga gives calm, peace, relaxation to the soul and body. It makes you younger and healthier. After understanding the methodology, I want to teachthis people. Free for everyone.

Photo by Olga Revenko

Many women are attracted to the mysterious India. Yoga, dancing, cinema, ancient traditions... Some are so fascinated by this color that they decide to associate themselves with it for life.

For some, the road to family happiness opens here, while others, on the contrary, are faced with everyday and cultural shock. We tried to figure out where the Indian fairy tale begins and where it ends by talking with women who have lived in India for a long time.

Husband for two houses

Lisa met her Indian husband in Ukraine. The couple soon moved to Kerala, a state in southern India, where they had twins - a girl and a boy. After the birth of her children, Lizaveta went to her native Donetsk to finish university, and her husband, secretly from the family, married a second time and went to live in America.

According to Lisa, he was able to get a certificate that he was single from his church, since they got married in Ukraine and did not get married after arriving in India. The family broke up. I couldn’t leave India because I had no money.

The period of testing brought her a well-deserved reward - Lisa met her second future husband. After several years of relationship, the couple decided to get married. However, the second husband’s family did not immediately accept Lisa.

“I was ‘damaged’ in their minds because I was already married and had children with someone else,” she says.

Only a few years later the parents of the second husband came to terms with Lizaveta. Meanwhile, the couple had a daughter. Lisa opened own business in the service sector.

Life in India is very different. Husbands forbid their wives to work, dress as they like, and eat what they like. They roar quietly, but they endure,” says Lisa. - Even those who manage to find work and build a career make great sacrifices. Even those who come here with a profession and experience cannot find work. Anyone coming to India needs to understand many legal and cultural intricacies beforehand.

Children overboard

Olga was connected with India by her passion for Indian culture and language, as well as her work as a translator of Indian films. She met her first husband in Moscow, where he worked in an Indian company. Twins were born. One day something terrible happened: Olga’s husband died.

I flew to Delhi to bury my husband. When I flew away, I was sure that my life would end here and I would never return to this country,” recalls Olga, who today works as a manager in large company in Mumbai.

After several wanderings around friends' houses and rented apartments, she met new love. And again Indian. But the children had to be sent to a boarding school several hours away from the city.

My second husband did not accept children from his first marriage, although he himself was married and also has children from his first wife. After living in Mumbai for several years, he was a completely different person. In Moscow he was a different person. And he became very conservative and jealous. But the main thing is that she refuses to live with my children,” says Olga.

Now they are in 10th grade.

Even when they come on vacation, we have constant scandals. It is very difficult for them to live and study in India, because they are half Russian, half Indian. At school they often get it because of this, says Olga. - But the main problem is that we have nowhere to go. If only I had the opportunity, complete financial independence, I would leave.

What's in a name?

St. Petersburg resident Svetlana discovered India through Goa. As the head of a branch of a large bank, she vacationed there several times. At some point, she decided to quit her job and go to Goa, where she, an economist by training, organized a small business together with her future husband from North India. Soon the couple had a son. While he was growing, Svetlana’s business was developing. This was not easy, given that she decided to run the business legally.

When I became pregnant, I had already been in India for 1.5 years. I had no understanding of what castes are, features of origin, traditions. At first, life was a fairy tale, says Svetlana. - But it all ended soon. I realized that the man I married was a completely different breed of person.

While Svetlana disappeared in the office, her husband enjoyed the liberal morals of the Indian resort.

True, he took care of his son, but he began to drink more and did not work at all. “I brought all the money to the family,” says Svetlana.

The first time she left her husband was when he cheated on her with her friend. The separation lasted six months, after which the husband and wife got back together. - The second time we separated was after he raised his hand to me. Forever now,” says Svetlana.

The girl and her son moved to another state. Divorce proceedings may take a while long years, since Svetlana’s husband is not ready to give a divorce at will.

He demands money from me and threatens to take my son,” says Svetlana. “I fear for my life and the life of my child.”

Svetlana went through a lot - scenes, fights, hospitals, police stations.

Most women don't work here. And those who work, and especially women entrepreneurs, face chauvinism both from partners and competitors, and at home, explains Svetlana. “I worked in the office from morning to night, and at home I was treated like a slave. In India, you cannot marry a person with whom you have not lived for at least 3 years.

At first sight

Anastasia met her Indian husband in St. Petersburg when she was only 20. A graduate of the Russian State Pedagogical University named after. Herzen, translator, actress theater studio- the young girl was fascinated by the Indian sailor. She moved to India in the early 1990s. The family settled in a new area of ​​Mumbai.

When I arrived here, I saw only dirt, poverty, stench and fumes,” recalls Anastasia.

The most difficult thing was to accept the life of an Indian family:

My husband's family is educated intelligent people, his father is a professor of Sanskrit. But all this does not apply to everyday life. We ate with our hands, on the floor, everything in the house was so messy.

The husband turned out to be a strong-willed man. He forbade his family to interfere in his family's affairs. The young people lived separately. While her husband was sailing, Anastasia recreated European life in her home, studied Indian culture, raised her daughter, and most importantly, continued to engage in art and teach children music.

21 years later, she thanks fate:

I was lucky that my family in India never tried to make me an Indian. I have seen so many Russian girls who come here young, beautiful, and they are dressed in sari, put in the kitchen to make roti (Indian flatbread - Author), to serve their husband. Many are not allowed to wear jeans, eat meat, go out, or meet friends,” says Anastasia.

According to her, understanding Indian traditions is very important:

I always thought that the rejection of newborn girls in India was a relic of the past. But when many Russian girls have daughters, this is a tragedy in the family. It is still expected here that the girl will come in to the husband's family with a dowry. Those who do not have a dowry can be insulted and humiliated in the family, says Anastasia.

Relationships according to textbooks

Christina came to India to work for an international company. She had experience working in other Asian countries.

It was this experience, not always positive, that determined her relationship with the stronger sex in India. Knowing the prevailing stereotypes about white women in Indian minds, she behaved very reservedly.

My office colleagues tried to seduce me, strangers they stopped cars when I was walking home from the office, even business partners after official negotiations secretly tried to invite me to best case scenario for dinner. It was very unpleasant and very difficult for me, because I came to India to work. But the men didn’t care about my professionalism,” recalls Christina.

She met her future husband while working on a project in Mumbai. He didn’t ask her personal questions; they talked about religions and cultural differences, travel.

My husband is simply very different from everyone I have met in India before him. He has worked since he was 16 and lived separately from his family since he was 20 - a rarity in India. He is a Christian, which makes his mentality much closer to my understanding of the world. He is a little younger than me, and, apparently, many stereotypes did not have time to settle in his head, says Christina. - This does not mean that we do not have problems. They will last for another five lives. India is very far from Russia, and the road back is often more difficult and longer than the road here.