career or family. How to make the right choice? The difficult choice of a modern woman: a brilliant career or family

To the question " What is more important career or family? Each person can only give the correct answer for him. An unambiguous solution is unlikely to be found, since this is due to the individual characteristics of the life of each of us.

For some people, an important goal in life is a wedding and a large friendly family, while for others, high earnings and managing a large number of staff are a priority.

If we treat this issue from the side of generally accepted traditions, then the man has always been considered the earner, and the woman - the keeper of the hearth. Now the time has come for equality, when the situation in the family with a higher income from the woman is not uncommon.

Perhaps the worldview, passed down from generation to generation, makes most modern women think in such a way that the very question " choose career or family' seems basically stupid.

At the DNA level, they consider themselves the keepers of family peace and believe that it is men who should deal with the money issue.

It is worth talking about less happy and calm ladies, and discussing this issue, which has become global for many. In order to find your answer, you should carefully consider all the pros and cons of over-deepening in a career.

Career Pros

If we consider separately the benefits of a career, then we can distinguish three of the most basic incentives:

• Self-realization;
• Increased self-esteem;
• Financial freedom.

Self-realization is the dream of every person. Each of us wants to feel like a person, independent of outside circumstances. Nowadays, women who bring family well-being to the fore are considered a rarity.

Among modern youth, there are more and more girls who do not know how to make the house cozy and warm, but understand the intricacies of organizing work in a large team. Whether this is due to upbringing or the media is a completely different question. But most of us dream of self-realization.

And it is very difficult to improve your own self-esteem based on a clean apartment, washed linen and ironed sheets. Therefore, many prefer to choose flirting on the side or realizing the potential in a career.

Creative individuals can express their individuality in music, paintings and other art. But also often there are people among us who want to constantly develop. And the best way to do this is to work.

It also often happens that a person lives alone for a long time. Then he got used to independence and perfectly understands how important it is to devote time to work and constantly learn new skills.

When such an individual has a family, it is very difficult for him to change his own principles and habits. It is against this background that disagreements often arise in families.

Another example is when a woman sits at home for a long time. She cooks, cleans and is weighed down by the need to keep order in the house.

However, subconsciously she strives for constant development. And since a person is a social animal, he needs daily communication, which is provided in abundance at work.

Financial freedom is also an important priority in the life of each of us. Usually, it is for this reason that one has to wonder how to combine career and family.

Modern life requires constant expenses, and at the same time I really want to buy my own house, furnish it with the best furniture, have a rest every year in foreign resorts, and do what I really like.

Unfortunately, not many people can afford such an easy and beautiful life. Therefore, we all have to go to a job that is not always our favorite and try to earn as much money as possible.

However, if you devote yourself too deeply to work and improve your financial condition, you can not only earn a nervous breakdown, but also worsen family relationships. That is why the question of choice: family or career remains open for a woman or a man to this day.

Career cons

For a more adequate assessment, one should consider the disadvantages of a full return to a career, and these are:

• Lack of free time;
• Relationship problem.

A person who has plunged headlong into work cannot devote proper time to his own life, hobbies and relationships. And this is very problematic in the presence of a family. After all, spouses and their children need daily communication.

And when your head is busy all day thinking about how best to solve productivity issues at work, it is difficult for a person to switch his attention to household chores. Therefore, it is important to consider the choice: family or career. What will be more important for a man or a woman in this case is up to them to decide.

There may simply not be enough time for cooking, cleaning the house, repairing or other household chores. In the future, such an attitude towards the family hearth may completely destroy it.

The same goes for the relationship between a man and a woman. After work, I really want to relax in front of the TV or during a pleasant conversation in the family circle.

But if one of the family members is absorbed in thoughts about work to such an extent that he cannot pay due attention to the rest of the household, then disagreements and quarrels will certainly arise.

In fact, for each of us it is difficult to decide what is better career or family? You should be well aware that it is best to try to maneuver between these areas of life.

On the one hand, you want to start a family, have children and bake chocolate cupcakes every Sunday. On the other hand, you dream of becoming a financially independent, successful business woman.

They say that only the heroine of a Hollywood soap can do everything at the same time. So the question arises: which is more important?

Yes, it's amazing, but there are women who manage to do everything. And men are like that too. There is only one nuance: desire has thousands of possibilities, unwillingness has thousands of reasons (one of my favorite expressions).

A hundred years ago, no one had such questions. Women dutifully accepted the role of the guardian of the family hearth - and that's all. Now you wear trousers, drive a car and work on a par with a man. Only happiness somehow does not come ...

Didn't you choose it? Let's figure it out.

big business

Now men rule even in the fashion world, while women manage to keep entire corporations in a tight rein.

Moreover, men still (for the most part) are not their restraint, purposefulness and stress resistance.

And a business woman eventually acquires armor and forgets about what feelings are. A woman in a male profession loses tenderness, softness and lightness.

A modern girl from school is desperately climbing the career ladder, not even suspecting that her femininity can open a hundred times more doors for her. Easier and faster.

It is not difficult for a professional woman to keep her favorite job, hobbies, relationships with a man, raising children and leaving time for herself.

Are there any of your friends? Write in the comments.

Through its realization, it receives and creates energy enough to be enough for everyone. And her man happily takes on the role of the earner and in this he retains his masculinity.

The choice is only yours
Yaroslav Samoilov.

The word "career" is translated as "running, life path" (from lat. carrus - cart, wagon). In the theory of personnel management, a career is the result of a conscious position and behavior of a person in the field of work, associated with official or professional growth. However, this term means not only moving up the corporate ladder, but also life success in general.

A career in the modern format is not an automatic change in rank due to seniority and not a run along steps that are clearly visible from the very beginning. This is a kind of search for oneself, a search for one's own path. What path should a modern woman choose for herself?

✒ Historical background

The last Kaiser of Germany and the Prussian King Wilhelm II of Hohenzollern exhaustively summarized the traditional European vision of the role of women in society in the famous “4K” formula: Kinder, Kuche, Kirche, Kleider, that is, children, kitchen, church, outfits.

Stereotypes of social thinking

From century to century, society and tradition offered a woman, regardless of her social status, to solve two important tasks in her life: to get married and give birth to children.

But it’s not for nothing that futurologists call the 21st century the “age of women.” The roots of this definition, of course, lie in the past century, when women made a “quiet revolution”, taking a worthy position first in the sphere of wage labor, and then in the field of entrepreneurship. The woman has gone beyond her traditional role of hostess, mother, wife. She began to strive to fulfill her potential outside the home and very often becomes the mistress of her own business. Opportunities for professional realization of women are constantly expanding, and gender discrimination is less and less talked about. Modern women can successfully perform men's duties and are not inferior to men in talent, energy, professionalism.

In management methods and business culture, women brought intuition, "maneuverability", sociability, concern for people, emotionality of communication, and a special attitude to personal relationships. These traits allow us to speak about the emerging female management style, the motto of which is: "Common sense, not victory at any cost."

However, the position of women in the labor market is still difficult. It is women who are the most among the unemployed, and those who work, as a rule, are paid less than men in a similar position.

Our society imposes a certain secondary nature on a woman - she must definitely consult with someone, look back at someone, make excuses, know her place, reckon with the requests of her relatives, crush her “I” with her heel. There are many myths about women's business and professional failure, the incompatibility of femininity with career advancement. Let's consider the most typical.

The woman is not so smart. A man and a woman really differ from each other, in the structure of their brain, for example. Therefore, the information they receive is processed differently. In women, the relative weight of the corpus callosum - the bundle of fibers that connects the left and right hemispheres - is greater than in men, and this provides a better exchange of information between the hemispheres. This phenomenon explains the extraordinary intuition of women, which is considered to be her unconscious mind, the so-called female logic.

Operations of the inductive plan are inherent in the female mind and intuition: from the particular to the general, from details and individual signs to their holistic coverage. Intellectual operations of the male mind - from the general to the particular. Men's thinking is more abstract and symbolic, while women's is concrete and figurative. Women have more developed emotional and verbal intelligence, perception abilities, while men have visual-spatial intelligence and technical abilities. Women better perform tests for the speed of perception of symbolic information and images, better remember the localization of objects in space, their relative position, they have better developed fine motor skills and the speed of performing mathematical operations. Women perceive a career as personal growth, as self-realization and do not always attach importance to some quite significant things in their environment, such as the system of relations and information channels in the organization that arises at an informal level. Men, on the other hand, understand prestigious and promising positions as a career.

Business does not have a feminine face. This thesis is relevant only in times of "wild capitalism". A comparison of the ethical attitudes of men and women businessmen allows us to make the following statement: in business, women are more dependent on others, and therefore their principles and the ethics of business as a whole are more determined by moral prerequisites. The social responsibility of women in entrepreneurship is higher than that of men. According to psychological analysis, the greatest success in business is achieved by women who have "kaleidoscope" thinking, a predisposition to leadership, adequate self-esteem and a tendency to educational behavior.

Women are not ambitious enough. In terms of achievement motivation and striving for leadership, women not only do not concede, but even surpass men. However, in order to obtain a position, a woman must demonstrate higher competence than a man in order to remove the influence of prejudice against her. A woman's ambitions are rather overstated, because she always prefers a man with a higher position in society, considering her youth, health and physical attractiveness to be the highest value.

A man must lead. Maybe it's just the habit of a strong hand or the paternalism of the domestic business culture? Women have effective, but not repressive, abilities to influence, so they manage to lead without repressing. A woman does not adapt to a masculine management style, but uses a humane and impressive management, trying to be attractive to other people, to achieve their sympathy and love. Such a management model today is more in line with the changing conditions of firms and contributes to the transition to a new management culture. Its essence is a departure from managerial rationalism towards greater openness and flexibility in relation to the constantly changing requirements of the external environment.

Making a career, she loses her femininity. Making a career, a woman, according to public opinion, "loses her femininity." At the same time, she begins to experience a sense of guilt in front of her relatives for the lack of proper attention to them. As many psychologists note, this can make a woman sabotage her achievements and subconsciously destroy her career, do something destructive in relation to herself, or, for example, begin to wonder about the meaning and necessity of her professional activity (do I need it?) just then, when he really starts to make progress in his career. After all, we all often forget that all the most difficult obstacles are within us.

Meanwhile, a modern successful business woman, according to scientists, is distinguished by a bright indie personality combined with femininity. Such a woman consciously and with dignity carries her high title, and this excludes coldness, rigidity and masculinity. With her presence, she decorates and ennobles any society, any business meeting. She is distinguished not only by a high level of general and intellectual activity, but also, unlike most men, constant concern for her physical form and appearance.

Women do not want to make a career. To be sure, women have some prejudices about themselves and their business opportunities. According to psychological research, women overestimate men's achievements and virtues and underestimate their own. They give men a higher status. If the success of a man is more often explained by his abilities and other stable reasons, then the success of a woman is most often explained by unstable reasons: luck, chance, help and support from others. And competent women generally do not enjoy the position of either women or men. True, in connection with competition, the situation is changing in favor of more realistic preferences of effective personnel, regardless of gender.

Career, of course, is feminine, but business is masculine. The professional development of a woman is more complex and contradictory in contrast to a man, for whom professional activity is not only the leading, but often the only area of ​​self-realization. Making a professional career, a woman really becomes a little bit of a man. This sets up a whole group of contradictions: between masculine and feminine, rationality and emotionality, autonomy and belonging to a woman. And such contradictory situations of development stimulate creativity, which, in turn, releases the reserves of the spiritual and mental potential of a woman.

Achievements of women are inversely proportional to their beauty.. There is an opinion that the achievements of women are inversely proportional to their beauty. That is, the less attractive a woman is and the less hope she has for success with men, the more eagerly she devotes herself to any type of activity. Often a woman suppresses the desire for creative competition in herself so as not to destroy her feminine charm and remain attractive. If you make a career, you will lose your family, because men do not like smart women. Is it so? Does a successful woman feel inferior? Yes, but only if there is a man with conservative inclinations nearby or just a loser.

A business woman really experiences psychological loneliness due to a special selectivity in contacts, reinforced by a sense of her own importance and the presence of economic freedom. In the bride market, however, beauties from well-known companies and with good salaries are in special demand today. So smart and beautiful women do not have to be torn.

Family and career are incompatible. The mass dissemination of stereotypes leads to the fact that any claims to a career on the part of a woman are perceived as provoking and interfering with the fulfillment of her function, which is considered the main one - the function of procreation and maintaining a home. Motherhood and family care are often presented as an obstacle for women in areas that are characterized by competition. And if, in the matter of choosing between a child and a career, preference is given to the birth of a child, a woman runs the risk of becoming uncompetitive, losing the speed of professional development during the time devoted to motherhood. However, some women manage to write and defend a dissertation during the decree, or at least learn a foreign language, thereby preparing themselves a worthy foundation for confident career advancement.

In addition, a woman's reproductive function and the role of a mediator of emotional relations in the family can be fully combined with her active professional promotion, administrative or political career, if she is in the right mood, and she is set on "connecting the incompatible" - the development of internal potencies without prejudice to femininity. Such a versatile and diverse activity of a woman makes her more realized, effective and fully prosperous. Women can offer more effective and often less confrontational solutions to many issues and problems.

As the family is created and the children achieve independence, the woman's personal resources are released, and she can again devote herself to any business.

ACTUAL INFORMATION

On average, a man's career (gradual professional and status growth in one area) begins at about 20 years old, at 27-33 it has its sharp rise and then continues with a steady increase. A woman's career can begin at the same time as a man's, but the most fruitful and bright period for a woman is pushed back to 35-40 years. It is at this moment that rich inner potencies can move you on the path of professional self-realization.

In the life of every woman, there comes a moment when she faces a choice - career or family. Of course, there are women who know how to combine both, but it is very difficult to determine how well they do it, and, achieving career success, whether there are problems at home at the same time. Therefore, before making a choice, it is very important to weigh all the pros and cons, and try to find a compromise. This will help you honestly answer the question of what you are willing to sacrifice, family or career.

Which is more important, career or family?

Now more and more women want to realize themselves in the professional field, to make a career. If earlier this trend was observed among women who have reached the age of 40, now very young girls who have graduated from institutes or technical schools are striving for this. But sometimes, having reached career heights or become disillusioned with work, they are left alone, sometimes destroying the family, but more often without creating it. To make the right choice and avoid loneliness, you should set all priorities for yourself from the very beginning of the career race. Indeed, often a woman who stubbornly strives to make a career simply could not establish her personal life at some particular moment, directing her energy in a different direction.

According to polls, it is by the age of 40 that most women begin to regret that they chose a career. If, having married, a girl does not want to give up her career, it is necessary that her husband supports her choice, otherwise she will have to give up either her family or her career. It’s better to give up a career after all, because not a single woman is unusual for the concept of careerism, this is more true for men. The role of the keeper of the hearth is inherent in the nature of a woman, not a director and manager, a real woman will never fight for a place in the sun with tough men.

Choosing a career in the presence of a family, a woman cannot fully give her children her love, attention, affection and care. Children do not receive the warmth they need, which directly affects their development and very often in a negative way. In addition, a career is not always a carefully considered choice, but simply helps any person, not just a woman, to feel their own importance.

In pursuit of career heights, one should not forget that not only success in the professional field is important in this world. Work plays an important role in our life, it helps to fulfill oneself, to show all one's abilities, to develop the best qualities and skills. But every woman is destined by nature itself to become a happy wife, a loving mother and a caring daughter. Only the inability to make the right choice and allocate time prevents you from achieving this fully.

The main advice of psychologists is that a woman must learn to feel, understand what she wants at the moment, so that later she does not regret her choice. Separately, I would like to mention that if you have made a career, but are still alone, you should not despair. Until a worthy man appears in your life, it’s better to build a career, and as soon as this meeting takes place, direct all your energy to your family.

How to balance career and family

Sometimes not just the desire to make a career makes a woman work, but also a banal lack of funds for a full-fledged existence, not all husbands can provide for their families. In such a situation, there is no longer a problem of choice, if a woman values ​​\u200b\u200bher husband, she can only learn to combine work and family.

• The distribution of responsibilities between husband and wife will help reduce the burden on a woman and enable her to successfully climb the career ladder if she strives for this. Therefore, talk about who among you will be responsible for what.
• Try to distribute responsibilities at work in such a way that household chores, and most importantly, your loved ones, do not suffer because of it. When using numerous techniques, how to rationally distribute working time and duties, this is quite possible. Organize your workspace both at work and at home in such an optimal way to save time on performing various operations.
• Do not take work home and do not discuss work issues all evening, devote your free time and weekends only to your family. Learn to separate work and home.
• To avoid problems if you earn more than your husband, and he shows dissatisfaction, try to create conditions for professional growth for your husband and an atmosphere that will make him feel that he remains a full-fledged owner in the house, despite your successes. Even better, if you let him know that only thanks to his support, help, good advice and faith in you, you have reached such career heights. Remind more often that all your successes at work are a common merit, but do not overpraise.

• Remember, workaholism and the desire to make a career are incompatible.
• Don't waste your time with your kids. Gifts, sports clubs and the best nannies will not replace a mother for children, so sacrifice your career for the sake of children. Spend all your free time with your children, arrange a joint vacation, play, take an interest in school affairs and hobbies.
• Be sure to remember that your husband also needs your attention and care. If you are forced to work overtime, let your spouse know and be sure to make up for it on the next weekend by arranging a romantic morning that turns into lunch and dinner. Try to avoid working on weekends and refuse to work overtime. Build a career not by increasing working hours, but thanks to your professionalism and deep knowledge.

Career and family for a woman

If you think about it and honestly answer the question to yourself, it turns out that many of the women strive to make a career in order to meet a worthy man and at the same time achieve a certain material stability and level in society. There are no other clearly expressed reasons that make you persevere to overcome step by step of the career ladder. Having achieved what they want, usually women no longer strive to move even higher, this remains even today the prerogative of men. Women who have received the right position and having reached a clearly defined level of income begin to think about creating a family, that it is time to direct all efforts to finding a worthy man, giving birth and raising children.

Therefore, if there is energy and ambition in the character, it is best for a woman to realize herself first as a business person and only after that start creating a family. Unrealized professional potential can become an obstacle to a happy family, as it will become a source of quarrels, scandals and mutual claims. To avoid this, if a woman feels the need and desire to work, let her work and not suffer what she should choose, a career or a family. After all, it is quite possible to combine career and family, simply by properly organizing your working day and distributing responsibilities.

A self-actualized woman is much calmer and happier than one who sacrificed her dreams for the sake of her family. Unfortunately, it is worth remembering that now men are no longer held back by either society, or the church, or children, and a woman who knows how to provide for herself will not find herself in a difficult financial situation if a man decides to leave her. In addition, everyone has the right to choose and freedom in decision-making, so make a career if you want it, but remember that becoming an honorary retired former plant director, you will want to have relatives and friends close by, so do not forget about family, a career will not serve a glass of water.

You should not look at those women who have completely devoted themselves to the family. If you look closely, many of them simply do not want to work and are comfortable in their own world. They easily made their choice, because they do not have any inflated goals and desires. They want to remain, first of all, a wife, mother, daughter and woman, and not a leading worker, but the risk of finding themselves in a difficult situation increases if the family breaks up.

The best option is only one, if you have ambitions and abilities, realize them before you have a family, as soon as you get married, find time and energy for the family, and then you can successfully combine both career and family without making a choice between them.