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What a man should know and be able to do. Make a cocktail

You will immediately be given to understand in no uncertain terms that you do not understand anything.")

3. Crying is necessary for a woman like air. But she will never do it alone if she knows that you do not hear her.

4. A woman always asks questions to which you will not find the right answer anyway. This gives her pleasure because it makes you feel guilty.

5. Women are very talkative. Silence frightens them, and they feel the need to fill a vacuum, even if they have nothing to point out.

6. A woman needs to know that someone somewhere lives worse than she or her family. This explains the incredible popularity of television soap operas.

7. Sex is not a necessary thing for women. The explanation is simple: men are attracted to her physical nature, women are attracted to her emotional nature, and therefore they get emotional satisfaction only because they know that you would like to have sex with her.

8. In all public places (theaters, restaurants, concerts, etc.) women prefer to go to the toilets; groups. This gives them the opportunity to gossip.

9. Women don't know how to keep a secret. And they don't think they can't be trusted because of "revealing a secret to two or three girlfriends."

10. Whatever a woman does, she will NEVER scorn phone call and always run to the machine! In whatever form it may be.

12. A woman is not able to understand why men love “toys” so much (real children's toys, as well as hunting, sports, cars, drills, fishing rods, etc.) Men would not feel the need for them if women were equipped with buttons: “ switch on switch off".

13. One of the worst vices of a woman is that she is sure that there is no difference between beers!

14. Women comb their hair before going to bed.

15. After they take a shower, the smell of a flowering rainforest remains in the bathroom.

16. The average number of accessories of all kinds that a woman keeps in the bathroom is 437 pieces (data for the USA and Europe). A man can only identify six of them, including his own razor and toothpaste.

17. They don't understand anything about sports. The men are watching sports to get away from reality. For women, they are just a reminder of how badly things could have turned out without them in the world.

18. Women are people to whom auto mechanics never tell the truth (to men they tell it through force!).

19. A woman behind the wheel can make a detour of tens of kilometers only for the simple reason that she is afraid of “getting lost” on the “cut-off” path prompted to her to the right place.

20. Women are beings who dress up to: go to a concert, go to the store, water the flowers, get your hair done, open the door, answer the phone, read a book, take the dog for a walk, get mail...

21. A woman is the only being who DOES NOT WANT a truthful answer to the question: “How do I look?”,

22. Women love cats. That is why a man uses every opportunity to kick a cat with his foot. Cats don't like men.

23. Women know what a man wants. This is the most mysterious phenomenon of the parapsychic features of a woman, since a man not only rarely understands what he is thinking about at a given particular period of time, but in general he can rarely say what he wants at all. The fact that men want women the most allows women to do whatever they want.

24. A woman would like to eradicate the institution of "mother-in-law", although she herself is well aware that one day she will be in this very institution as a "dean".

25. Women think they don't have any

What should be a man
What should a man do for himself and what should he be a real man for his woman, the qualities of a real man.

Prologue: It is necessary to admit what at first glance is impossible, and sometimes to doubt what is now absolutely certain, since the truth can be hidden behind prejudices.

Today I want to write exactly about what a man should be for himself and his woman, so that family relationships would be better and life would be more success. I'll start with a simple, but maybe complex.

1) If you are wondering how to become a real man? Start with responsibility. A terrible word for many, but it can and should be loved. It's not that hard, try it, you'll like it. And we must always remember "irresponsibility" - this nice word which leads to poverty. It is unlikely that your woman wants to be poor. And although, I’ll go and ask a neighbor.

And if this word scares, then it's normal. Fear, a good and natural reaction. It happens to everyone, just don't let it take over you. Once you overcome it, you will become more confident and it will be easier in the future.

And how a woman will appreciate your responsibility and courage in you, think about it. Responsibility is also self-respect. Don't respect yourself? Then you need not a woman, but a man.

2) Be for her a Reliable protector (such a stone vest) that can be broken, but as long as she holds on, she firmly protects the one who is behind her.

3) You must always develop. As a person in a career and as a man in bed. Small steps, doing at least something every day for this. And don't try to do it, just do it. Thinking less about what you will make a mistake and what will not work.
And to everything, women like those men who do more and talk and think less.

4) Become for a woman not only a partner for sex, but also a friend in life. Understanding and in something kindred spirit. You will never be able to fully understand a woman, we naturally have different thinking, but you don’t need to understand everything, it’s important to want to understand her and then a lot will work out.

5) Be yourself and don't be a snob, always limiting yourself and afraid to show your feelings. If you're naturally tough, well, stay that way because you're so real. Just remember that a woman wants both your affection and somewhere hidden in your soul, a piece of tenderness.

And if you are a soft man or even sensual, and you are only afraid to show that you have all this, because it is not decent for a man to show it, then I will say that sometimes you really need to, and sometimes you stupidly deprive yourself of the pleasure of being yourself and enjoying life. .
A confident man does not worry about what others think of him and will not prove something to anyone, he has already proved everything, first of all to himself. So do not deprive your woman of this, you will give her and yourself more joy if you become yourself.

In addition, if you are so afraid that your woman will not understand and appreciate your feelings and will not accept you as you are, then maybe this is not your woman?

If she likes rudeness and rigidity, that's her right. Do you want to be with her and play the wrong part forever? You'll be wasting your time. And you won't be happy with her. To each his own.

For less show. In life, in general, you need to be able to be different and natural, that is, the way you feel now. And enjoy it, and fully realize yourself in life.

6) Remind your girlfriend how beautiful she is. Even if it's not. Or maybe not always. We, too, are not washed and rumpled, especially from sleep or drunk.
Just hug and tell her - You are the sweetest and most desirable. She will like it and she will also thank you with a delicious dinner or at night, in bed. Women need these words simply because they are women.

7) About Napolena or Take care of a woman. Only when people truly care for each other, only then will they have full openwork. And not only in the family but also in success in life, generally.
The man is a strategist, a kind of Napoleon. But even Napoleon with his army needed a rear - remember how he was left without a rear in Moscow, and what happened next. A woman is communicative and will provide you with this rear ... If you respect and appreciate her, you will have a strong rear and then you won’t have to drape from Moscow.

8) Look after yourself. Women like well-groomed men, your appearance is your mirror and can tell her a lot about your inner world. I even read somewhere something scientists found out such a fact that people (without even knowing it), just like animals, choose their partner by ... smell.
Hygiene is important for a woman, no less than her beautiful, well-groomed face and everything else.
By the way, don't forget to shave before sex. Eggs are not necessary, as you like, but the face, yes. The stubble is not only not pleasant, but also causes irritation on the face of a woman. Especially with frequent friction.

9) If you are a real man, then satisfy the woman with sex. Sex is not only pleasure, it is also mental and physiological health for a woman, however, for men too. It’s not as obvious as some magazines and blogs write about it, that it’s straight pipets - if you don’t have sex, you will die, or you will cease to be a normal person.

But nevertheless, this is one of the few pleasures that we can and should receive from life. And satisfaction from sex can have a serious impact on all areas of a person's life.

For reflection. Remember the Middle Ages, even noble ladies, knowing that they could lose their heads (in the literal sense, and so it was), cheated on their husbands, kings and marquis. And this is not always due to the fact that she is so fucking ... ... th. Often the man himself is to blame for the betrayal of his wife, not giving her due attention. Women are an order of magnitude less prone to treason than we are, it's worth considering. And today ... three "sticks" whatever.

Diversify relationships in bed - perhaps your girlfriend is trying to do something for this, but you stubbornly do not notice. Maybe you need to come up with something yourself and bring a pleasant and bright novelty to the bed.

11) Admit that you can be wrong in a dispute with a woman. Many of us cannot stand criticism, especially if it comes from a woman. But if the criticism is correct, and you just do not notice the problem or your shortcoming?

Maybe it’s more useful, for you, it will wind up something on your mustache. A smart woman can help a man a lot, both in his self-development and career. These are not my words, but the words of life and many wise people.

12) If you want good ones, warm relations in the family, then joint household chores will only strengthen the relationship. Especially if you do such necessary household chores - joking, amusing each other, in short, in a playful manner. You can even have sex while cleaning. And everyday life will not be such a gray everyday life.

A little more about what a real man should be, in the end:
Find out what the feeling of jealousy really is, and if necessary, work on yourself.
Wash your own underwear: socks, briefs and…
Don't slap a woman's butt when she's cooking at the stove. I want to? Then do not do it abruptly, it is better to come and gently hug or stroke.
Socks, especially dirty ones, should be kept in special. place, and not be a design element of chairs and floors.
Sometimes (more often) give flowers and arrange romantic dinner, can save from treason. Remind her that she is a woman and that she cares about you and is desirable.
Tell her at least three times a year that you love her.
At least sometimes arrange a pleasant ... SURPRYZ (read in the article “Deeds of feelings and actions.“) Everything is simple, but important.
And lift the seat (or whatever it's called) on the toilet before turning on the faucet.

1. Do not be silent if you cooked deliciously. Silently eat if it's not tasty.
2. Do not knock on my bathroom. I `ll exit…
3. Bring marshmallows at night if I want.
4. Do not pretend that the mountain of dirty dishes in the sink came to visit from the neighbors.
5. Throw away your holey socks/panties. Even the most beloved and comfortable.
6. Bring to orgasm.
7. Be able and love to cook meat.
8. Dance. At least a little. At least when we're both drunk
9. Be able to communicate with children of any age.
10. Intercede if someone is rude / sticks to a weaker person on the street.

21. Don't yell when I'm driving.
22. In the morning, after my drinking, bring mineral water, beer and run to the pharmacy for a headache medicine. Regret all day and endure moaning. Even if they were drinking together.
23. Choose your own ring.
24. Make children and enjoy their upbringing.
25. Have sex via SMS using the words of the normative and not very vocabulary.
26. Take responsibility.
27. Be silent.
28. Hug at night so that it is not hot, but cozy.
29. Be able to earn money and spend it generously on me.
30. Decide who is in his life main woman and make her happy.

41. Make gifts.
42. Cut your nails and hair in your ears and nose.
43. Write competently.
44. Just kissing for hours, delicious, sweet and varied, to trembling in the knees.
45. Worry about the family.
46. Don't get drunk before a woman.
47. Be smarter than women in a form that is harmless to her.
48. Fool around together.
49. Be able to get sick.
50. Never say "I told you!"

61. Jealous|Don't be jealous.
62. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Listen, listen, listen.
63. Understand wine, football and bra sizes.
64. Ride the subway "without hands" and miserable attempts to grab the handrail.
65. Know a lot.
66. Joking.
67. Do at least a little sport to maintain tone.
68. Dress tastefully.
69. Be able to discreetly unbutton a bra.
70. To be able to forgive you even in the most unpleasant situations. And don't force yourself to ask for forgiveness. The phrase "Come on, forgot" - that's it.

81. Relax the tip of the tongue. Relax!
82. Don't be afraid of cockroaches.
83. Kiss ass.
84. Run kite.
85. Win often.
86. Reinstall Windows.
87. Share shopping with me.
88. Don't be ashamed to buy me pads/tampons.
89. Turn the mattress "winter-summer" in winter and summer.
90. Give compliments.

91. Find your own car keys, wallet, tickets, and TV remote.
92. Make plans and implement them.
93. Remember all the pleasant nonsense. Aloud.
94. Be able to stand up for yourself and for you.
95. Put an antipyretic candle on a screaming and struggling child.
96. Be able to have a good time.
97. Take a bath and shower together.
98. Massage.
99. Be my man.
100. With all the splendor listed above, do not be my father.

Men, you love to post posts with various lists of "what a real woman should be able to do" or "a dream girl is ..." So, your attention is Women's List. Read carefully. There is nothing super complicated in it. You may be fine with most of the things listed here. Then I'm happy for your friend of life. And if there is something to work on - quietly look here sometimes to check yourself and meet "100%" ...
List of women's magazine LQ compiled by his female readers.

1. Do not be silent if you cooked deliciously. Silently eat if it's not tasty.
2. Do not knock on my bathroom. I `ll exit...
3. Bring marshmallows at night if I want.
4. Do not pretend that the mountain of dirty dishes in the sink came to visit from the neighbors.
5. Throw away your holey socks/panties. Even the most beloved and comfortable.
6. Bring to orgasm.
7. Be able and love to cook meat.
8. Dance. At least a little. At least when we're both drunk.
9. Be able to communicate with children of any age.
10. Intercede if someone is rude / sticks to a weaker person on the street.

11. Correctly answer the question of what he liked best of the five proposed clothing options.
12. Know when to stop yelling at stupid me and just hug me.
13. Be there when needed.
14. Turn off the water in the apartment and understand what is flowing in the drain tank.
15. Let you spend the evening buried in your laptop if inspiration strikes.
16. DO cunnilingus.
17. Be confident and generous.
18. Deal with a completely disgruntled neighbor who said that I scratched his car.
19. Love jazz.
20. Remember that when I'm in heels, I need to move slowly and not far.

21. Don't yell when I'm driving.
22. In the morning, after my drinking, bring mineral water, beer and run to the pharmacy for a headache medicine. Regret all day and endure moaning. Even if they were drinking together.
23. Choose your own ring.
24. Make children and enjoy their upbringing.
25. Have sex via SMS using the words of the normative and not very vocabulary.
26. Take responsibility.
27. Be silent.
28. Hug at night so that it is not hot, but cozy.
29. Be able to earn money and spend it generously on me.
30. Determine who is the main woman in his life, and make her happy.

31. Be able to express your feelings, do not be shy about doing it.
32. Know a lot.
33. Do not paint over gray hair.
34. Watch so that goosebumps and butterflies in the stomach.
35. Hug.
36. Never break down on rudeness.
37. Restrain emotions after learning about the amount I spent.
38. Kindle a fire with one match.
39. With self-respect to dissect even on the killed "nine".
40. Cook with pleasure, starve with humor.

41. Make gifts.
42. Cut your nails and hair in your ears and nose.
43. Write competently.
44. Just kissing for hours, delicious, sweet and varied, to trembling in the knees.
45. Worry about the family.
46. Get drunk before a woman.
47. To be smarter than a woman in a harmless form for her.
48. Fool around together.
49. Be able to get sick.
50. Never say "I told you!"

51. Build a house.
52. Don't give up yours.
53. Leave when out of love.
54. Love children from previous marriages.
55. Be able to explain the multiplication table to a seven-year-old dunce.
56. To drag me, cheerful and not very sober, into an apartment, undress, take off my shoes, make a bed, put me down, put a glass of water next to me, and in the morning pretend that nothing happened.
57. Write exciting stories for your son before bed.
58. Watch your appearance, but not fanatically.
59. Leave you personal space.
60. Smell delicious.

61. Jealous|Don't be jealous.
62. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Listen, listen, listen.
63. Understand wine, football and bra sizes.
64. Ride the subway "without hands" and miserable attempts to grab the handrail.
65. Know a lot.
66. Joking.
67. Do at least a little sport to maintain tone.
68. Dress tastefully.
69. Be able to discreetly unbutton a bra.
70. To be able to forgive me even in the most unpleasant situations. And don't force yourself to ask for forgiveness. The phrase "Come on, forgot" - that's it.

71. Quickly finish from a blowjob.
72. Play the guitar.
73. Understand subtle hints. Even very subtle and very hints.
74. Do minor repairs in the house.
75. Give jewelry with diamonds.
76. Have a best friend.
77. Remember your ex only respectfully.
78. Do not be jealous of masseurs.
79. Quickly think that the right is where I point.
80. Forget the phrase "You don't understand."

81. Relax the tip of the tongue. Ras-la-woman prostitute!
82. Don't be afraid of cockroaches.
83. Kiss ass.
84. Fly a kite.
85. Win often.
86. Reinstall Windows.
87. Share shopping with me.
88. Don't be ashamed to buy me pads/tampons.
89. Turn the mattress "winter-summer" in winter and summer.
90. Give compliments.

91. Find your own car keys, wallet, tickets, and TV remote.
92. Make plans and implement them.
93. Remember all the pleasant nonsense. Aloud.
94. To be able to stand up for yourself and for me.
95. Put an antipyretic candle on a screaming and struggling child.
96. Be able to have a good time.
97. Take a bath and shower together.
98. Massage.
99. Be my man.
100. With all the splendor listed above, do not be my father.

Today, women are increasingly trying to prove and prove their social equality in relation to men. But anyway, when something goes wrong with a lady, they often throw the words “a man should, a real man” and the like. And we, in turn, have at least 3 qualities that a real woman should have.

Reminds me of the old expression real woman- "There is a cook in the kitchen, a cleaning lady in the house, and in bed - ...". But now we are not talking about ladies, but about men and what qualities a real man should possess and be able to do.

We all remember from childhood how a grandmother or mother asked our grandfathers or dads to constantly fix something. And they could do anything: nail a carnation, repair a car, paint a fence, dig a vegetable garden. In the age of technology development, the Internet, our generation (1985 - and beyond) encountered the first game consoles, the Internet. All these things pushed us a little away from reality, to which, as practice shows, we still come, but at a different time. For example, our dads married moms at 20 and that was the norm (as Savok hammered into us). Now getting married at 20 is one of the stupid things adult children do.

However, all of us young men have already encountered standard everyday situations in adulthood. At work, I often came across a moment when I had to work with little things and “look for a needle in a haystack,” and my boss often sawed me because I was not good at it. But when her door handle staggered and I expertly twisted it with a screwdriver, she looked at me with admiration and pride.

In our age of technology, the limits of what what a real man should be able to do- expanded slightly. OFFICEPLANKTON does not recognize the word "should", no you do not owe anything to anyone, but damn it, we have collected the 10 most important skills of a real man which you must know!

To a simple question how to become a real man?» We have prepared 10 mandatory skills, which you can find below.

1. Roast the meat on the fire.

No matter what you have to deal with: barbecue, grill, barbecue; but it's mandatory male skill. To create a fire is to upgrade cooking by one, to marinate meat - the skill can be upgraded endlessly. Beginner mistakes: raw, undercooked or charcoal. Most often, in front of such a result, the boy can brag that he is a man and he will fry the meat. But similar result will only speak of him as a proud brat.

Choosing a delicious marinade, taking into account how it will affect the meat, frying it correctly is a real masculine art that every man should learn. And if you don’t show off how cool you are with girls, but you can cook vegetables, meat, bake buns and even a little confectionery, any girl will only show off to her friends and mother how well done she is. And any girl you just know will discuss you with her friends and the girls will immediately create about you great experience, which will only be big + to you.

Advice: If you don’t know how, then buy a couple of legs, read about marinades on the Internet, try to marinate the meat yourself, go out into nature, make a fire and try to fry it. And even better if you have a friend who doesn’t know how to fry - go out together, buy a bottle of beer for meat, try to fry in an organized way and treat yourself to chicken legs fried on a fire with beer. Are you alone or are you two real men you definitely deserve it, as it would be nice to celebrate your first experience.

2. Use a manual transmission.

It would be cool to have this skill. But we guys know that some of us are born motorists, others are computer scientists, and still others are electricians. In principle, you can always understand and master a new science, but if you succeed, know that you are a genius. In reality, not everyone can get behind the wheel and learn how to drive a car.

For example, I have a fear of the road and accidents. Most likely it will be a joke to say that I learned to drive in GTA.

I've met people who are excellent architects but don't have basic PC knowledge. I, on the contrary, know computers as 2 + 2, but I don’t understand car repairs at all. But if you can do both, know that you are a really smart man and any girl will only admire you.

Advice: There are many ways to learn how to drive a car as a motorist: you can enroll in a driving school; or you can ask a friend or relative to go to a wasteland or an empty road and learn to drive at a speed of 20 km / h with an increase. The first experience is always important!

3. Replacing car tires.

If you are asked to do this, and you have never given at all, you should not use the words “ Yes I don't know how» and the like. To spin the tire in this you will be helped by knowledge in the field of unwinding the bolts. Apply your masculine logic skills - you won't be able to change the tire, as there is a car on the tires. It needs to be raised first. How? Jack. Next, apply knowledge in the field of unwinding the bolts. Remember the sequence of unwinding and the whole structure. And you can believe that an ordinary Frenchman was able to disassemble a car and. Thus he got out of the desert and saved his life.

All girls argue that all men like cars and everything connected with them, which means they should be able to repair them. And if you don’t know how, then we understand that there’s nothing wrong with that, and you still won’t prove anything to her.

4. Drive in a nail, screw in a self-tapping screw and use a drill.

Here even no words are needed. If you yourself cannot drive a carnation into a piece of wood, what will you think of yourself? Will you be proud? We hope not. Hammering a carnation is the very first mega man skill that all women saw in their childhood. Is it hard.
How to screw in a screw— You can just look at its shape and immediately understand everything!

Use a drill - it is important to first select the necessary drill. If you do not know how to attach it to the cartridge, then twist it in your hands, try different methods and everything will work out for you.

5. Be able to fix absolutely everything.

Glue the wallpaper, tighten the wobbly leg of the chair, install (reinstall) Windows, screw it in a new light bulb, turn on traffic jams - these are one of the few skills that a real man should possess. Do you know how, even if you have a liberal arts education? If you can’t do this, any girl is waiting for at least a brief diagnosis of a breakdown that you can give her.

6. Assemble furniture

All the toys children play with are connected in some way with adult life. Have you noticed that some boys play with cars, others like to assemble construction sets, others play with soldiers, and the worst ones play with dolls. All these toys develop in us certain areas brain and make it understand how certain things are created.

Assemble furniture- it's like assembling a designer, only this is a designer for adults, which every man must learn to assemble. There is nothing difficult in assembling furniture. Often, intuition tells us how to do something and men's logic. Usually, instructions are attached to the furniture on what and how to do: where to drill, where to screw in and voila. Wardrobe served! And even if a “real man” cannot do such a trifle himself, then your family will be forced to pay for the assembly to the company.

If a man shirks even from such work - most likely he is not stupid and hopeless mediocrity, he is just a lazy person. Women take note!

7. Country work

Work in the country not necessary at all. But if you need help, then be prepared to bend your back and work with your hands. If you never did it for the reason that there was no cottage in your childhood, then do not hesitate to say so. At first, they will think bad things about you, but they will still watch how you try to work. Fucked-up grannies will show you how to properly dig potatoes, water the garden, mow the grass with a scythe and do other work. The only thing I saw in my childhood is when a man comes to help his mother-in-law to help in the garden, she is never satisfied, because she could plow her son-in-law to do something else, and in general she herself would have coped excellently without him.

8. Ability to navigate the map.

According to statistics, that men and women are lost and found with the same probability. But approaches to memorizing landmarks are different: communicating with passers-by, remembering the way - all these are useful skills for a real man.

9. Clear the way to the car and from the entrance from the snow.

Everything has already been said here.

10. Stand up for your lady.

Fighting a rude man and defending a girl's honor is one of a man's favorites.

This is perhaps the most 100% cool skill, after the manifestation of which your lady will definitely understand that you are a real man the one in her life. If you are a little behind in this, then it would be nice for you to go to the boxing section. And let the squishy losers laugh at you, that they will beat your face there and normal people do not go to such sections.

According to statistics, you will still have at least a small scuffle every 10 years, but you will either get stuffed in the face or you can hit back. And there are some cool twists of fate that will depend only on your abilities of a real man.

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