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No friends, only people. I have few real friends: why is this and what to do

“Life without friends is a nightmare!” - many will say and they will not be so wrong, because even convinced introverts sometimes need friendly support. But what if you have no friends? First, figure out what you mean by the concept of “friend” and decide whether you really don’t have such people around you, not a single one who could be considered a friend.

What should I do if I have no friends at all?

So, you thought and decided “I have no friends at all, and I don’t know how to live without them,” if that’s the case, then you urgently need to look for them. Moreover, now it is important to simply find friends for communication; you should not immediately install the “looking for a best friend” program for yourself. Because you don’t become such friends right away, so you just need to start communicating more. Decide for yourself where you will do this, based on where you spend most of your time. The first thing that comes to mind is work (study) and the Internet. But you shouldn’t limit yourself to just them; maybe you’ve been meaning to learn how to dance salsa or do yoga for a long time? Well, go ahead and make new friends at the same time. And if you have a dog, that’s generally wonderful - pet owners always have something to talk about - first about the tricks of feeding and training, and then maybe good friends you will become

The main thing is not to be afraid to start a conversation first, be sincere - you will surely interesting companion, so don’t be afraid to show it to others.

What to do if you have no friends at work?

Many people complain that they don’t have any friends at all, but at work they can’t establish friendships with colleagues. friendly relations. Think about it, do you really need it? Good communication with colleagues is great, but friendship is not always good for work. There are so many stories about former friends who were at odds with work. Therefore, if everything is fine with your communication and friends outside of your work team, then you should not worry about their absence from work.

What to do if you have no real friends?

It happens - there seem to be a lot of friends, but not a single real one. What to do in this case? To begin with, once again review your list of friends and make sure that there really is no one with whom you “ate a pound of salt.” If you understand that this is indeed the case, then is it worth trying to understand the reason? Maybe it's you? Do you often “cry” to your friends about your problems, not wanting to listen to them? Do you give in to your friends in some way or do you constantly impose your opinion on them? If you have problems with communication and respecting other people’s desires, then it will be difficult to find a true friend - they simply won’t be able to see your vulnerable, gentle soul behind the thorns.

Well, what should you do if among your existing friends no one is suitable for the role of a real one? You have only one way - to look for new friends and do everything so that one of your new acquaintances becomes your best friend.

What to do if you have no friends?

People suffering from boredom and loneliness are traditionally advised to communicate with friends more often. What to do if these same friends are not available? The obvious option is to start looking for them, and you will find a person to communicate with and have fun. Well, if you can’t establish contact with anyone, don’t be upset, use your free time, as a respite, as preparation for grandiose achievements. In the meantime, do something nice for yourself, recharge yourself with positivity - to the smiling and happy man people will stretch themselves.

It's hard to imagine life without friends. But it happens. This means that a person does not have the opportunity to find support from people whom he can trust.

After all, the concept of “friend” has a significant difference from an acquaintance. Acquaintances are people with whom you keep in touch only for a specific reason. It should be noted that friends, over time, can move into the “acquaintances” category. And vice versa, gradually, acquaintances become friends.

I have no friends: what should I do?

First of all, you don’t need to set yourself the goal of finding a friend. This should happen on its own. After all, we begin to maintain friendship with the phrase “Let’s be friends” only in childhood. And as we grow up, we find like-minded people who turn into friends. This process happens by itself.

People unite around a common cause, at work, while studying, on vacation. If you want to meet specific person, then it’s worth doing this in an informal setting. Here you can ask questions and find out what you want to know about him. And then it will become clear whether you have anything in common, whether this is your person in spirit.

In addition, new acquaintances are hampered by the complexes that we acquired earlier. Bad experience friendship can inspire fear or uncertainty. Throw everything out of your head, people are different and everything will be fine with you. Mistrust will not allow you to feel friendship to the fullest.

But if you don’t have any friends, then you need to look for the reason in yourself. Perhaps this is a quick temper, betrayal and deceit on your part. There can be many reasons, the main thing is to look at yourself from the outside and correct your mistakes.

A person must have friends and they must be earned.

look for thematic meetings in your city - find a community in social network, dedicated to your interests, and go to such a meeting;
sign up for some courses on your interests: dancing, yoga, master classes in decorative art, even martial arts- it's never too late to start something new;
get a dog. People with dogs simply cannot help but walk together, they constantly “flock together” (if the dogs do not conflict) and walk at the same time;
you can travel, pick up a new hobby, sign up as a volunteer somewhere and engage in all types of social activity.

Simply put, go where the people are. Friendship is something ephemeral, but at the same time valuable. You can't manage a friendship like you can manage a climb career ladder, because there is either warmth between people or there is not.

The main thing is to want and communicate with different people. You'll most likely find a friend when you least expect it.

Take kindness as a rule. It's no secret that people love those who love them. But this should not be intrusive. If you immediately attack potential friend, he will run away from you faster than he will understand what kind of person you are.

Sincerity is important in communication; many people clearly detect falsehood. You need a friendly smile, lightness, and sincere interest in your interlocutor. Ask what he likes, what hobbies he has in his life, listen more than you talk. And under no circumstances interrupt your interlocutor, have a conscience, listen to the end, and then speak yourself.

If you are invited to visit, do not think of refusing, it is the doubts in you that are telling you. But they are of no use. If the person is good, you can come to new company. You still can’t guess how the day will turn out. But it is better to regret what happened than to be tormented by what did not happen.

Advice from a practicing psychologist:

10 ways to make friends:

Why does a person have no friends?

And if she is a faithful, decent friend who will not betray or tell anyone else’s secrets, and those whom you trust change their attitude, opinion on some events, what then should you do, is it worth being friends with a person if he changes you for those whom you discussed before?
I have no friends because I don’t believe in friendship after one of my so-called “faithful” friends.. that’s why!!!
Friendship is more than pleasant company or closeness of interests. Friendship is deep, sincere relationship, including a whole range of emotions. Friendship is characterized by deep mutual understanding between people. In friendship, giving is more important than taking. The absence of such qualities in a person deprives him of the right to have friends.
That means he doesn't need them.
Disappointment is the reason for my choice.... I don’t know when I’ll decide to BELIEVE again or even if I can...
Such people are simply completely free from everyone. Although in fact there is no such person who would not have friends. Well, at least one. There are no such examples. Everyone has at least one friend. Or a friend you can talk to and ask for help. Even House has friends.
I think there are very few such people. I see two reasons for the lack of friends: a person does not need to be friends or a person does not know how to maintain friendly relations, although he needs them.
So this is the kind of person. Since childhood, they have not been taught to treat others as human beings; as a result, a person remains alone for the rest of his life. Even if he gets married, he will have children himself... still alone. It’s good if there is someone to teach his children, otherwise the sad fate will repeat itself.
It is also possible that a person has a complex, he cannot open up to someone else, cannot open up to friendship, fearing that he will be betrayed, definitely deceived, so he trusts only himself.
It seems to me that people put different things into the concept of friendship, for example, someone with whom you can drink beer, someone you can call on the phone to chat with, there are hobby friends, for example. However, I believe that in friendship, as in love, there must be mutual understanding, mutual concessions, when both parties are ready to help each other. Such people are difficult to find. Therefore, basically, friendship has its own period when this or that person needs you. And I think it’s easier to call the people with whom you communicate or spend some pleasant time as acquaintances, colleagues or like-minded people.
Why do you think that all people should definitely have friends? There are people who feel good alone, because they are real, complete introverts!
The problem is definitely in the person, not in others. It’s just that he either doesn’t want to let people get close to him, or he doesn’t know how to make friends and doesn’t know what friendship is in general: tsool:
Everyone understands this expression differently. Most often, when they say that a person has no friends, most people have the idea that the person does not have someone with whom they can talk, have a drink, or go somewhere. But you can’t necessarily do this with friends. Maybe a person is surrounded a large number of people, and soul mate No.
There are such concepts - extroversion and introversion of personality.
An extrovert is a person who is more inclined towards external communication. An extrovert does not tolerate loneliness well, and even just solitude. Everything he does is necessarily aimed at the reaction of others and expects their assessment. Such people always belong to some group, are always present at all sorts of “parties”, they have many, so to speak, “friends”.
An introvert is more focused on what is happening directly to himself. An introvert is not afraid to be alone. For him, this is an opportunity to listen to his feelings, understand what he wants, accept right decisions. An introvert is often tired of unnecessary, unconstructive communication.
Most likely you are an introvert, and there is nothing wrong with that.
either he really doesn’t need them, or he’s a bore...
If we generalize what Victor said (absolutely correctly), it turns out that a person who has no friends and cannot be friends is an egoist who lives for himself.
Self-sufficient can
Few, but they are in this world.

When you're in last time made a new friend? Not a friend to exchange jokes at work, but really loved one the one you called would V difficult situation. If you're over 20, you've probably wondered what to do if you don't have friends.

Suspects: work, family, “little time”

Many people guess why friendship fades into the background with age. We are building a career 40 hours a week, we have a family and children, but there is no time left for everything else.

Study How Do Women Spend Their Time?, conducted by Real Simple and the Families and Work Institute, found that 52% of women ages 25 to 54 have fewer than 90 free minutes per day, and 29% of women have fewer than 45 minutes. That's not enough to even watch an episode of Game of Thrones, let alone create friendships.

It is unlikely that these indicators are very different for men.

When a person reaches the middle of his life, his youthful impulses to explore everything disappear irrevocably. Priorities change and people often become picky about their friends.
Alex Williams, reporter for The New York Times

No matter how wide your inner circle, fatalism spares no one. Adolescence and my student years are behind me. Now the time has come for “friends by situation” or just good acquaintances.

When people become adults, it is as if an invisible barrier appears between them. They get to know each other, have fun, but don’t spend as much time together as before.

As people age, they are less likely to have sex friendly relations. At the same time, they become closer with the friends they already have.
Laura L. Carstensen, professor of psychology at Stanford University

She suggested that the human psyche reacts to significant life events, this includes the date of 30 years. The realization comes that life is shortening. It's time to stop learning new things, we need to pay more attention to what is here and now.

Friends are no longer needed for survival

Another reason why we have difficulty expanding our inner circle in late age: This is no longer a necessity. In youth, friendship is an important part of personal and social development. We need friends to understand who we really are and how to decide.

Of course, no one thinks about this when making friends at school. We are not particularly picky and start being friends just like that. Do you sit at the same desk with me and also hate the teacher? High five!

Once personality is formed, we need something more to become friends. Circumstances alone are no longer enough. You may have the same problems and views with a person, you will share them, and then go your separate ways and only politely greet each other.

What can you do about it?

It would seem, well, okay, why new friends, because there are old ones. But if an adult loses his previous connections, what to do then?

In the lives of many of us, there are three important things missing: emotional intimacy, repeated unplanned interactions and. Can't build without them strong relationships. So if you're around 30, you can't make real friends anymore? Not at all.

Tracy Moore, a writer at Jezebel, suggests that you just need to change your attitude: “Let's say you moved to new town and you have no friends there. Or old friends now seem so impudent that you are even surprised how you communicated with them over the past 10 years. In any case, you should perceive the search for buddies as an exciting quest.”

Of course, you need to get out of the house and communicate with people with similar interests.

Here are some examples:

look for thematic meetings in your city, for example, through communities of interest to you on social networks;
sign up for courses: dancing, yoga, decorating master classes, wrestling;
get and walk with other owners and their pets;
travel, come up with a new hobby, sign up as a volunteer.

Strive to where life is in full swing. Chat with different people. It is quite possible that you will find a friend when you least expect it.

There are also advantages

No matter how difficult it may be to expand your inner circle as an adult, the game is worth the candle. Mature friendships have many advantages over children's ones:

your relationship will be tied to common interests, which may not have existed while studying at school or university;
no restrictions: make friends with big difference aged or on the Internet;
friendship will be more relaxed: an adult is unlikely to be offended because he knows that everyone has things to do;
you will begin to value time with loved ones more.

When you got to know yourself, new friendships may become deeper than the remaining ones school years. And like any a good relationship, over time they will become deeper and stronger.

When was the last time you made a new friend? Not a friend to exchange jokes at work, but a really close person whom you called would in a difficult situation. If you're over 20, you've probably wondered what to do if you don't have friends.

Suspects: work, family, “little time”

Many people guess why friendship fades into the background with age. We are building a career 40 hours a week, we have a family and children, but there is no time left for everything else.

It is unlikely that these indicators are very different for men.

When a person reaches the middle of his life, his youthful impulses to explore everything disappear irrevocably. Priorities change and people often become picky about their friends.
Alex Williams, reporter for The New York Times

No matter how wide your inner circle, fatalism spares no one. Adolescence and student years are behind us. Now the time has come for “friends by situation” or just good acquaintances.

When people become adults, it is as if an invisible barrier appears between them. They get to know each other, have fun, but don’t spend as much time together as before.

As people age, they are less likely to form friendships. At the same time, they become closer with the friends they already have.
Laura L. Carstensen, professor of psychology at Stanford University

Friends are no longer needed for survival

Another reason why we struggle to expand our inner circle later in life is because it is no longer necessary. In youth, friendship is an important part of personal and social development. We need friends to understand who we really are and how to decide.

What can you do about it?

It would seem, well, okay, why new friends, because there are old ones. But if an adult loses his previous connections, what to do then?

In the lives of many of us, there are three important things missing: emotional intimacy, repeated unplanned interactions and. Without them, you cannot build strong relationships. So if you're around 30, you can't make real friends anymore? Not at all.

Tracy Moore, a writer at Jezebel, suggests that you just need to change your attitude: “Let's say you moved to a new city and you don't know anyone there. Or old friends now seem so impudent that you are even surprised how you communicated with them over the past 10 years. In any case, you should perceive the search for buddies as an exciting quest.”

Of course, you need to get out of the house and communicate with people with similar interests.

Here are some examples:

look for thematic meetings in your city, for example, through communities of interest to you on social networks;
sign up for courses: dancing, yoga, decorating master classes, wrestling;
get and walk with other owners and their pets;
travel, come up with a new hobby, sign up as a volunteer.

Strive to where life is in full swing. Chat with different people. It is quite possible that you will find a friend when you least expect it.

There are also advantages

No matter how difficult it may be to expand your inner circle as an adult, the game is worth the candle. Mature friendships have many advantages over children's ones:

your relationship will be based on common interests that may not have existed while studying at school or university;
no restrictions: make friends with a large age difference or on the Internet;
friendship will be more relaxed: an adult is unlikely to be offended because he knows that everyone has things to do;
you will begin to value time with loved ones more.

As you get to know yourself, new friendships can become deeper than those left over from your high school years. And like any good relationship, over time it will become deeper and stronger.

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