Quotes and poems about life and love. Psychology of relationships and philosophy of life in short essays, poems and quotes (Igor Sorkin)

ANNA KIRYANOVA:

Dr. Bernard Lawn examined one patient - the "core". He asked questions that the patient was reluctant to answer. And the patient's wife constantly ran to smoke - then many smoked.

The doctor reprimanded his wife; Is it possible to smoke so much, and even having a husband with a heart disease? What the bad habit! And this wife burst into tears and screamed: “What does my smoking have to do with it! Not in this case! John lies to you all the time and doesn't tell you the main thing - he got sick because his mother constantly curses him, upsets him, reproaches him... Calls and mocks him. And John can't do anything because she's his mother!"

This conversation made a great impression on the doctor. And he began to observe patients. And he was shocked: the son-in-law lured property from one old man, rewrote the business for himself, and the old man was already afraid to walk around the room - the son-in-law swore that he stamped his feet ... And this poor old man became disabled. Another patient was on the mend after a major operation - and his mother called and cursed him because of the money. The patient died. Lots of such cases.

And Lone said: "All my patients are victims of emotional conflicts with a loved one."

Conflicts from which it is impossible to find a way out: you have to communicate. You have to pick up the phone, start a conversation, live together, visit, suppress your natural emotions; because you have to be good. good father-in-law, good son, a good wife ... So it is necessary!

And the famous cardiac surgeon wrote that operations and treatment are right. They give results. But the cause of an illness or injury is precisely in a conflict, in a stable unfriendly attitude towards a person. And the nobler and calmer the person himself is, the more severe the consequences of such a conflict. After all, from the outside it becomes the inside. AND negative person settles in the subconscious; "Evicting" him out of there is very difficult; all the forces of the body go to this internal struggle, in which there is no winner - after all, parts of one personality are fighting! Therefore, people with severe internal conflict get sick and die. And instead of recognizing the conflict, they force themselves to “forgive”, “understand”, “ignore”, - this is what others advise.

Until the conflict is acknowledged, until the hostility and anger of the other person is recognized, the disease will worsen. And Lone simply forbade patients to talk on the phone - there were no cell phones then. And he allowed visiting the sick only those relatives with whom the patient had a good relationship. And people got better, thanked the doctor, and then Lone was given the Nobel Prize in general - for the developed heart operation. And I had to give another one - for this discovery, which is confirmed by life itself.

Deep, accurate and vital
observation of the British classic
Oscar Wilde about love
and reciprocity of feelings:

“It is not true that a person who loves you cannot leave you! Maybe! Believe! Maybe! He will do this, sooner or later realizing that his relationship with you does not bring him joy and happiness, that by giving himself all to you, going to any lengths for you and sacrificing a lot in order to be near you, he receives nothing. in return, that you disappoint him, that when he put you on a pedestal, you did not shake hands with him and deservedly did not put him on this pedestal next to you ... But it is thanks to him that you are now standing on this pedestal ...

He knows that you do not have to give him anything in return, that you are not obliged to raise him to your own level, created by him, that you are not obliged to take risks and sacrifice even the smallest for him, therefore such relationships become unbearable for him ... He will leave you when he realizes that he means less to you than you to him ... He will not tell you anything, he will not reproach you for anything, you will not even suspect anything ... After all, demanding or even asking for reciprocity, love or understanding is stupid and it’s absurd… He will leave quietly, silently, and, what’s worse, all of a sudden… And what’s even worse is that such people never come back.”

© Oscar Wilde

A man loves not the woman herself, but his state next to her. That's why Real woman is not at all the most beautiful, not at all the most intelligent, and certainly not the most successful in socially. A real Woman gives a man not a mind, not beauty, not a body, not success, but a state. A woman who creates a special state in men - masculine - will always be loved. She creates this state by enjoying the company of her man and admiring him. And a man will always be drawn to this special state, as to a magnet. Orchid

From my mysterious love, he became nervous and fit...

folklore

Only then is it easy to live with a person when you do not consider yourself higher, better than him, or him higher and better than yourself.

L.N. Tolstoy

I served as a sapper in Moldova, in the then Soviet army. Somehow, already working in the medical unit, I heard a conversation between two officers. One of them was pretty a good specialist for the clearance of old military mines and the disposal of shells from the times Patriotic War. He was always called when they were found on the territory of our region. So, the officers drank Moldovan wine in the chief medical officer's office, and, as always, after the third, the conversation turned to women. To the question: “How did you meet yours?” that same heroic, truly risking his life man replied: “Yes, we got together drunk.” It hit me so hard then - some kind of dirt, life vulgarity sounded in these words! Especially in the mouth of a forty-year-old, old, as it seemed to me then, a nineteen-year-old man. His life then seemed to me somehow meaningless, disposable, like a condom ...

So. Many years have passed since then, I have matured, gone through a certain life path and, I hope, gained my mind. I suggest you comprehend the ancient wisdom, which I brought as close as possible to the present and presented in the form of questions and answers.

1. When should you (should) understand that this is yours, and only yours, half?

Of course, a man should have a "quack", it is that first reaction to things that give love to certain woman. It's the smell, the face, the walk, beautiful eyes and figure. And for men, the emotional-physical peak of relationships is often at their beginning. female beauty- this is nothing more than summary information about the genome and reproductive ability, which are analyzed by a man at once. A man is the variability of the race, a woman is heredity. Therefore, everything happens faster for a man, since he can go to war, "be killed by a beast," and nature does not want to take risks.

Women in the first place is intellect, they fall in love with the mind more often than in broad shoulders men. Then there is already attachment to a man, emotional and physical stages falling in love, that very “quack” arises and reaches a height only with time. Women are generally wiser than men ☺. But this is only First stage relationships. Love stage. Then the stage inevitably comes when emotional and sensual things fade into the background, ordinary everyday life, life and routine duties come. This is where the bullfighting begins. I won't talk about family scandals and a high divorce rate, everyone already knows about it.

So what should be the relationship with the man with whom a woman can go through her whole life? These relationships should be exclusive and secure. What does the word "exceptional" mean? And this is love, friends, love for your exclusive soul mate. Successful marriages can only be in LOVE. Regarding safety: you must be 100 percent SURE in your partner. In sorrow and in joy. Only then can you marry and live in happiness with this person all your life. Everything else is nonsense.

The girl needs to make her final choice not immediately, make it deliberately, and it is better to meet several young men in order to finally find her, and only her, soul mate. It is necessary, as it were, to “share the load of emotions” among several young people. And do not be afraid to say "no", parting is always easier than divorce. When parting, you must be sincere and not too tactful: men love clarity.

As for compatibility in terms of doshas, ​​there is a version that the same leading doshas are better compatible: Vata with Vata, Pitta with Pitta, Kapha with Kapha. Allegedly similar types of temperament and physiology will strengthen the union of two hearts. But in other way, negative traits, repeated in two people, can intensify and develop into a relationship crisis (Pitt's workaholism, Kapha's laziness, Vat's nervousness). Therefore, it is so good that bidoshi are most common, they smooth sharp corners various types constitution. It is believed that the union of Vata-Pitta with Pitta-Kapha is the best. They form one of the most strong pairs, since both have enough fire energy to communicate with each other, and the Vata of one partner balances the Kapha of the other.

2. What is the main thing for a man in union with a woman?

Ruslan Narushevich says this: “A man is a locomotive, a woman follows him like a trailer. This is their principle of existence. And therefore, in order for a man to want to pull a trailer behind him, he needs to be tied. But if a man just clung to the trailer, then where will they arrive with the trailer? Nowhere... So, a man must have a certain mission - Dharma, or "life's work" in Sanskrit, the desire to move somewhere. He must have something other than affection for a woman. The mechanism of a man is the need to progress spiritually, to study, to do something important in his life, to engage in self-development and at the same time be attached to a woman in order to lead her.

So a man must have a mission. And the woman should help him. You just need to look with your partner in one direction, and the man and woman should move together, even if each in his own style, mode, speed, but in one direction. And most importantly - that the relationship becomes deeper and warmer inside, and not outside, for show. This also happens.

A man should take care of someone, take responsibility for someone in life. If he doesn't, he will never be happy. A man must provide his woman with three degrees of protection:

- from external factors- house or apartment;

– from other creatures (hooligans, dogs and even mosquitoes ☺;

- protect a woman from herself, from the past burden of negative emotions and resentments, from the stress that she receives in current life. The first feature in this regard is to be able to listen to a woman. No corrections or comments. Just silently LISTEN to her. In this case, the woman feels secure, that someone needs and is interested.

3. What is the most important thing for a woman in union with a man?

A woman has only two things that give her the power to influence her husband. No others are given. They are called CHASTITY and the POSSIBILITY TO BE WOMANLY. A woman achieves success without effort, without exploits in peacetime, without harsh speech, without the use of violence. A woman can achieve anything just with a calm feminine demeanor, tender attitude to her husband, support of his undertakings. The heart of a man is softened by a woman. Or a properly built spiritual practice. The second method is actually good for everyone, but not everyone can use it. Therefore, for most, the first remains the best.

If a woman is a leader in the family, if she is independent and does not expect the guidance and help of a man, then she will break him. A man is a leader by nature, he needs someone to take care of. And it is the woman who creates the order for the man to be a man. And only those women who invest their strength in their husbands achieve the perfection of life.

4. Why does a man sometimes move away?

In a man, there are two features of his nature at the same time.– it is the desire to be needed and the desire to be free. To feel that he is needed, a man at some point or even at some time needs to get the feeling that he is free. That is, in the psyche of a man, this is expressed as a desire to move away. This is its inherent nature, nothing can be done about it, no one is to blame for this. Clever woman always periodically “unties” her man for bachelor parties - fishing, garage / bath gatherings and other male joys.

A woman can incorrectly, too obsessively offer her company, feel sorry for her beloved, shower signs of attention, stubbornly demand signs of attention. At the same time, the man tries to step back a little, fence off a little personal space for himself, and does this without any ulterior motive: he is not going to leave the family and leave his wife.

When a man wants to be alone, a woman expresses her obvious displeasure. She begins to wonder: does her husband love her or not?! And becomes secretive. Refuses to share his feelings. If a woman is secretive, she becomes silent, and the man becomes nervous, this is a great torture for the man. She is not happy with anything that her husband does for her, and it may seem to a man that he is no longer able to satisfy the desires of his beloved woman, to make her happy. Little by little, such irritation, such anger accumulates inside him that they completely suppress any desire for intimacy with this woman. Moreover, a man can break loose and say something that he will later regret for a very long time and be afraid that he caused very strong damage to the relationship. Yes, and a woman can remember these words for quite a long time.

Anger. Suppression of desire for intimacy. The man moves away. This is such a sad chain of events.

An ideal wife must follow three rules:

- perceive your man as he really is;

- constantly demonstrate to him that he NEEDS her;

- to be able to wait for a man, after her "unobtrusive" wishes, to do what she wants from him.

I understand it's difficult. But the husband will never leave such a wife. Or even if he leaves, he will definitely return.

5. Why does a woman sometimes withdraw?

A woman usually moves away due to the lack of attention, lack of care and support from a loved one. Even independent and self-sufficient business women often get depressed because no one cares about them. The attitudes “I don’t need anyone”, “career is primary, family is secondary” are deeply vicious and disastrous for a woman.

For a woman, work, career, interests and sports are not the most important thing in life. The main thing is a loved one. All the thoughts that come to mind during the day are somehow connected with this person. Men will never be trusted. For a man main question: “What was I born for?”, for a woman: “For whom was I born?”

Therefore, I strongly advise men: be caring and at least sometimes gentle and romantic towards your loved ones!

Less often, a woman moves away if a man offended her very much. She has forgiven him, but fears it will happen again. And the third - when a man introduced defilement into their relationship and thereby betrayed and completely disappointed the woman ...

6. “Serving a husband or wife” sounds somehow humiliating, am I a servant, or what?

Friends! The family is a training center for getting rid of your own selfishness. This is the place where we find humility, patience, the ability to accept another as he is. Never try to change another - this is a big delusion, start changing yourself, and everything will change.

It's nice to serve someone you love. And if it is unpleasant and there is no sincere desire to give him moments of happiness, then this is not your person. If each of us remembers the most happy minutes in his life, he will catch himself thinking that he has never been better than when he did good to his loved one.

Happiness in the family is possible only through mutual service. If we are not able to sacrifice for a loved one, we will not be happy. You must always give more than take ... A woman should be affectionate, a man should be caring, then both the woman and the man will live happily together for many, many years. And have sex only with your loved one. ☺

Eastern philosophy is different deep meaning And special treatment to things and events. The cornerstone of all philosophical schools of the East is the idea that everything is energy. At the same time, the world is polar - there is yin and yang. Also, there are both positive and negative energies in the world. The task of man is to transform negative energy.

In this sense, the highest mastery of relationships is to make the positive better, and to accept the negative and transform it into the positive.

One of the most amazing discoveries in the process of communicating with Master Ji is the understanding of the meaning of the word "Tao". As a student of the Faculty of Philology, I studied oriental philosophy, then read books by Chinese authors on the relationship between men and women, studied the works of Mantek Chia and was sure that I perfectly understood the essence of energy metabolism between man and woman.

Now, having spent several years communicating with a Taoist master, having written dozens of articles about ancient Chinese science, I began to realize that I had barely come close to a true understanding of the meaning of Tao and had barely begun to realize what the sacred meaning of the union of male and feminine. But this is not the most amazing!

The main shock is that the verbal transmission of the deep meaning of the Tao turned out to be almost impossible! That is why all ancient Taoist schools inherit the tradition of oral transmission of knowledge from teacher to student, and the search for a student by a teacher is no less difficult than the search for a student of his teacher. The most valuable, the most important and the most secret cannot be conveyed.

It always remains outside of verbalism and is transferred from one consciousness to another at the level of information contained between words. Knowledge of the Tao is stored at the energy level, and that is how it is inherited. Therefore, I will try to talk about what I received from the teacher, but you will catch something only intuitively.

The first secret of the Tao. Tao is a state of balance between yin and yang

Perfect balance in a state of complete and lasting rest in earthly life is impossible, because there is always movement as a result of different influences. We are all like tightrope walkers, in which various objects are constantly flying. We can catch them on the fly or dodge the blow, we can ignore them, but at the same time we must control the balance every second, otherwise we will fall down.

It is impossible to stand on the rope exactly, as on a hard surface. Approximately the same thing happens with energy and information. Surely there are Tao masters who are able to stand on a rope in absolute stillness, but this is the highest skill, inaccessible to mere mortals. Tao masters can maintain the balance of yin-yang, although it is as fragile as the absolute peace of a tightrope walker.

Tao exists in the Universe as the source of creation, and only it is in constant balance. Each of us throughout life uses the energies of yin and yang, alternating peace and activity, internal and external manifestations of its essence.

In a relationship between a man and a woman, we are also looking for a convenient proportion of an active and calm beginning, not forgetting that it is more natural for a woman to be a calm beginning in relation to an active one. masculinity and protect the sacredness of the subtle unmanifested world next to the value of the external realization of a man.

A man and a woman strive for such a connection, when yin and yang become equal in volume, then the state of Tao arises - everything and nothing, emptiness and fullness, the smallest and the greatest at the same time.

The second secret of the Tao. Yin and yang is black and white, but not bad and good

There is no absolute good and evil, everything becomes "good" or "evil" only in relation to another "evil" or "good". Absolute good could not be recognized as good if there were no evil.

In human relationships, negative and positive are yin and yang, which exist only because these polarities themselves exist. positive energy is a kind of universal qi energy. negative energy It is also chi energy. In this sense, the highest mastery of relationships is to make the positive better, and to accept the negative and transform it into the positive.

Gongfu of the relationship between a man and a woman as the highest skill of love is not to run away from negative emotions, to be able to freely and frankly, but in the most correct form, find the exact verbal formulations for your feelings. How often women hide grievances against men in the bottomless depths of memory, and their unfortunate partners, not being psychics, have no idea why the relationship is going downhill, and react to the situation based on their assumptions, most often far from the truth.

No one is obliged to guess what is happening in your mind, you need to learn to speak about it directly and openly, but without offending the interlocutor. If you want to approach the state of Tao in your love affairs learn to align yin-yang. To make the unmanifest manifest - to find precise definitions of your emotions (and not to fall asleep with accusations of a loved one), to clearly articulate your wishes in relation to a partner - this is yin.

To respond to the wishes of a partner with actions - yang. Do not stick labels "you are an insensitive egoist", "you do not know how to love" and the like. The same thought can be expressed in a calm tone in the form of a wish: "I would like to be more important person in your life", "I would like you to be more open emotionally and explain to me how you feel, so I will learn to understand you better."

Another conclusion arising from the principle of relativity of yin and yang in the context human relations, - it makes no sense to terminate the existing relationship if they were based on the love and conformity of a man and a woman to each other in body, energy and spirit. Any negativity that arises in a relationship is ordinary energy-information that simply needs to be carefully processed.

The easiest way, feeling offended, is to slam the door and end the novel; this does not require special wisdom. And this is usually done by partners who are at a low level of spiritual and energy perfection. Food sources of energy are also heterogeneous in terms of readiness for assimilation by the body. If you are offered to try a piece raw meat, perhaps it will not make a strong impression on you with its taste properties. What's more, it might make you nauseous!

But you certainly will not decide to throw a piece of fresh veal or pork in the trash, but simply prepare a meat dish that suits your tastes and the meat cooking traditions that you are used to. Meat is a satisfying protein product that contains many vitamins and minerals, so why give it up?

We tried this dish and were amazed by the unusual taste. It turned out that it was prepared according to the canons of U-Sin, the system of five primary elements or five elements, which means that it combined five tastes and affected five dense organs. But that was not the biggest shock for me.

Chinese New Year celebrated during Orthodox Lent, and the master noticed that for a fasting Christian at this time it is important not to receive information about animal energy - with food. But the technology of cooking meat according to the Chinese recipe is such that this information is processed, transformed and ceases to be perceived by the body as an animal, only the beneficial nutritional properties of meat and the special healing energy of the dish remain.

The secret of the miracle is not only in the cooking technology itself, but also in special spices that change the information basis of the original product.

This story perfectly illustrates the universal ancient and wise approach of Chinese civilization to all things and phenomena: any harmful effect can be turned for good and made a means of replenishing your energy reserve. The same thing happens in relations between people in general and between a man and a woman in particular. Learning to process the energy of conflict is the true kung fu of love interaction.

ANNA KIRYANOVA:

Dr. Bernard Lawn examined one patient - the "core". He asked questions that the patient was reluctant to answer. And the patient's wife constantly ran to smoke - then many smoked.

The doctor reprimanded his wife; Is it possible to smoke so much, and even having a husband with a heart disease? What a bad habit! And this wife burst into tears and screamed: “What does my smoking have to do with it! Not in this case! John lies to you all the time and doesn't tell you the main thing - he got sick because his mother constantly curses him, upsets him, reproaches him... Calls and mocks him. And John can't do anything because she's his mother!"

This conversation made a great impression on the doctor. And he began to observe patients. And he was shocked: the son-in-law lured property from one old man, rewrote the business for himself, and the old man was already afraid to walk around the room - the son-in-law cursed that he stamped his feet ... And this poor elderly man turned into an invalid. Another patient was on the mend after a major operation - and his mother called and cursed him because of the money. The patient died. Lots of such cases.

And Lone said: "All my patients are victims of emotional conflicts with a loved one."

Conflicts from which it is impossible to find a way out: you have to communicate. You have to pick up the phone, start a conversation, live together, visit, suppress your natural emotions; because you have to be good. A good father-in-law, a good son, a good wife... That's how it should be!

And the famous cardiac surgeon wrote that operations and treatment are right. They give results. But the cause of an illness or injury is precisely in a conflict, in a stable unfriendly attitude towards a person. And the nobler and calmer the person himself is, the more severe the consequences of such a conflict. After all, from the outside it becomes the inside. And the negative person settles in the subconscious; "Evicting" him out of there is very difficult; all the forces of the body go to this internal struggle, in which there is no winner - after all, parts of one personality are fighting! Therefore, people with severe internal conflict get sick and die. And instead of recognizing the conflict, they force themselves to “forgive”, “understand”, “ignore”, - this is what others advise.

Until the conflict is acknowledged, until the hostility and anger of the other person is recognized, the disease will worsen. And Lone simply forbade patients to talk on the phone - there were no cell phones then. And he allowed only those relatives with whom the patient had a good relationship to visit the sick. And people got better, thanked the doctor, and then Lone was given the Nobel Prize in general - for the developed heart operation. And I had to give another one - for this discovery, which is confirmed by life itself.

Deep, accurate and vital
observation of the British classic
Oscar Wilde about love
and reciprocity of feelings:

“It is not true that a person who loves you cannot leave you! Maybe! Believe! Maybe! He will do this, sooner or later realizing that his relationship with you does not bring him joy and happiness, that by giving himself all to you, going to any lengths for you and sacrificing a lot in order to be near you, he receives nothing. in return, that you disappoint him, that when he put you on a pedestal, you did not shake hands with him and deservedly did not put him on this pedestal next to you ... But it is thanks to him that you are now standing on this pedestal ...

He knows that you do not have to give him anything in return, that you are not obliged to raise him to your own level, created by him, that you are not obliged to take risks and sacrifice even the smallest for him, therefore such relationships become unbearable for him ... He will leave you when he realizes that he means less to you than you to him ... He will not tell you anything, he will not reproach you for anything, you will not even suspect anything ... After all, demanding or even asking for reciprocity, love or understanding is stupid and it’s absurd… He will leave quietly, silently, and, what’s worse, all of a sudden… And what’s even worse is that such people never come back.”

© Oscar Wilde

A man loves not the woman herself, but his state next to her. Therefore, a Real Woman is not at all the most beautiful, not at all the most intelligent, and certainly not the most successful socially. A real Woman gives a man not a mind, not beauty, not a body, not success, but a state. A woman who creates a special state in men - masculine - will always be loved. She creates this state by enjoying the company of her man and admiring him. And a man will always be drawn to this special state, as to a magnet. Orchid