Cheating is no longer a sin. Cheating is a lesson for the future or a grave sin

Impurity Demon

Every priest periodically has to answer the same question (usually asked by young people): “Why is bodily, carnal relations between a man and a woman outside of marriage considered a sin? After all, this is all done mutual consent no one is harmed, harmed. Here adultery is another matter: it is treason, the destruction of the family. What's wrong here?"

First, let's remember what sin is. “Sin is lawlessness” (1 John 3:4). That is a violation of the laws of spiritual life. And the violation of both physical and spiritual laws leads to trouble, to self-destruction. Nothing good can be built on sin, on error. If a serious engineering miscalculation was made during the foundation of the house, the house will not stand idle for a long time; such a house was once built in our holiday village and collapsed a year later.

Holy Scripture calls sexual relations outside of marriage by fornication and classifies them among the most serious sins: “Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor malokia (that is, those engaged in masturbation. – P.G.), nor homosexuals ... they will not inherit the kingdom of God ”(1 Cor. 6: 9-10). They will not inherit unless they repent and stop fornication. For those who have fallen into fornication, church canonical rules, for example, Saints Basil the Great, Gregory of Nyssa, are also very strict: they are forbidden to take communion until they repent and undergo penance. I will keep silent about the timing of penance. Such modern man just won't last.

Why does the Church view the sin of fornication with such severity, and what is the danger of this sin?

It must be said that carnal, intimate communication between a man and a woman has never been forbidden by the Church, on the contrary, it has been blessed, but only in one case - if it marriage. And, by the way, not only married, but simply a prisoner under civil laws. Indeed, even in the first centuries of Christianity, there was a problem when one of the spouses accepted Christianity, while the other (or the other) did not yet. The Apostle Paul did not allow such spouses to divorce, recognizing that this is also a marriage, albeit without the blessing of the Church.

The same apostle writes about matrimonial bodily relations: like a wife to her husband. The wife has no power over her body, but the husband; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a time, for the exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance ”(1 Cor. 7: 3-5).

The Lord blessed the marriage union, blessed the carnal fellowship in it, which serves to procreate. Husband and wife are no longer two, but "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). The presence of marriage is another (albeit not the most important) difference between us and animals. Animals don't get married. A female can copulate with any male, even with her own children when they grow up. People have a marriage - mutual responsibility, obligations to each other and to children.

Bodily relationships are a very powerful experience, and they serve to increase the affection of the spouses. “Your attraction to your husband” (Gen. 3:16) is said about the wife, and this mutual attraction of the spouses also helps to strengthen their union.

But what is blessed in marriage is a sin, a violation of the commandment, if done outside of marriage. The marital union unites a man and a woman into “one flesh” (Eph. 5:31) for mutual love, the birth and upbringing of children. But the Bible also tells us that in fornication people are also united into “one flesh”, but only in sin and lawlessness – for sinful pleasure and irresponsibility: “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I, therefore, take the members from Christ, to make them the members of a harlot? Let it not! Or do you not know that he who copulates with a prostitute becomes one body with her? (1 Corinthians 6:15-16).

Indeed, every lawless carnal relationship inflicts a deep wound on the soul and body of a person, and when he wants to marry, it will be very difficult for him to carry this burden and the memory of past sins.

Fornication unites people, but in order to defile their bodies and souls.

Love between a man and a woman is possible only in marriage, where people give each other vows of fidelity and mutual responsibility before God and all people. Neither simple sexual relations, nor cohabitation with one partner in the now fashionable “civil marriage” does not give a person real happiness. Because marriage is not only bodily intimacy, but also spiritual unity, love and the trust beloved person. It is clear that neither promiscuity, nor cohabitation without registration cannot give this. Whatever beautiful words No matter how lovers of "civil marriage" hide behind, their relationship is based on one thing - mutual distrust, insecurity in their feelings, fear of losing "freedom". Fornicating people rob themselves; instead of taking the open, blessed path, they try to steal happiness from the back door. One very experienced family life the priest once said that those who live out of wedlock are like people who, having put on priestly vestments, dare to serve the liturgy; they want what is not rightfully theirs.

Statistics show that marriages in which there was a period of cohabitation before marriage break up much more often than those where the spouses did not have such experience. And this is understandable and understandable: sin cannot lie in the foundation of a family building. After all, the bodily communication of the spouses is given to them as a reward for their patience and purity. Young people who do not keep themselves until marriage are lax, weak-willed people. If they did not deny themselves anything before marriage, then they will just as easily and freely go “to the left” already in marriage.

store your heart

Where does the sin of fornication begin? “Everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). That's where passion begins. A person lets it into the heart, delights in it, and there it is not far from bodily sin.

Yes, sin comes from the heart, but somehow it also gets into the heart. It comes from several sources. Fornication, as the holy fathers say, is directly related to the sin that we talked about in the previous article - with the passion of gluttony, bodily satiety and excessive drinking of wine. "Temperance breeds chastity, but gluttony is the mother of fornication." Let us also remember: “Do not get drunk with wine, in which there is debauchery” (Eph. 5:18). Indulgence is a carnal passion, and it can be curbed by accustoming the flesh to abstinence and moderation. Fatty, well-fed, spicy food, drinking plenty of wine - all this makes the blood very hot, causes the game of hormones, excites. This is a well known fact.

Another factor that influences the rampage of the flesh is the lack of sight and other senses. Of course, we still do not have such a monstrous debauchery in which the Ancient Rome although we are getting closer to it. But Rome certainly did not know such propaganda and advertising of this sin. In an article about funds mass media a lot has already been said about it. Not only television (at least you can turn off the TV), but the streets of our cities are filled with images of naked bodies. Moreover, shameless billboards sometimes “decorate” the most intense tracks. I think that the accident rate near such posters increases several times. One Moscow priest somehow could not stand it, brought a large staircase and wrote in black paint on a huge obscene poster: “Luzhkov, are you the mayor of Sodom?” Of course, all this is being done to decompose and weaken the nation. Known fact: Hitler distributed pornography in the occupied territories and contraceptives. Moreover, pornography was banned in Germany itself.

Is it possible to protect ourselves from all this filth that literally haunts us at every turn? Difficult, but possible. The Lord does not give trials beyond our strength. And the person who wants to keep his soul and body clean can do it even in Sodom, like the righteous Lot.

First, what needs to be done is to reduce the number of sources of temptation to a minimum. Second: do not fix your attention on irritating objects, do not cling to them. Do not devour seductive pictures with your eyes, but learn to glide over them with your eyes, as if not noticing them.

And third: not only do not show special attention to temptations, but also to change their attitude towards them, to perceive them as something neutral. Let me give you an example to explain my idea. Although I have a fairly serious driving experience, I still suffer from inattention and distraction on the road. On the way, I can stare at something interesting, unusual, and this has let me down more than once. And I worked out a rule, I made a vow to myself: while driving, follow only the traffic situation, signs, instrument readings, and do not fix your eyes on everything else, distracting, as if glancing at objects without stopping for a long time on them. In ordinary, non-automotive life, such a technique also helps to preserve vision. When you come across something unprofitable, defiantly seductive, you cannot help but see it (although it is useful to look away), but you can not look at it, not stop looking. Of course, this requires a certain skill. But then, purely automatically, you begin to weed out what you don’t need to look at.

One more important way keeping oneself from temptations - a change in attitude towards things that tempt. Things in themselves are neutral; what makes them good or bad is our attitude towards them. For example, a woman can be viewed as an object of desire, or (even if she is not very modestly dressed) as something neutral. St. Theophan the Recluse writes about this: “What if, while living in society, it is impossible not to look at wives? But after all, not just looking at his wife commits adultery, but looking with lust. Watch - look, and keep your heart on a leash. Look through the eyes of children who look at women purely, without bad thoughts».

A being of the opposite sex can be seen as a sister or mother (brother or father), but not as something that kindles lust in us. After all, very often we ourselves are ready to open the soul of passion. But if it is locked, it will be difficult for a seductive image, the picture to penetrate inside. If a man has a wife, there can be only one woman for him - a spouse. He can only love her as a woman, all the rest have no gender. He must see in other women only human, not feminine. The enemy is very strong, and from an indiscreet look, light flirting adultery is one step away. It is necessary to keep clean not only sight, but also the mind. Impure, prodigal thoughts, like dirt, stain, defile the soul and heart. It is not for nothing that the Monk Ephraim the Syrian called the demon of fornication "the demon of impurity." We have already talked about how to deal with sinful impure thoughts in one of the previous articles.

Everything that was said above refers to thoughts, feelings, desires - the passion of fornication begins with this. The second thing to keep in mind is our behavior. “Woe to the man through whom the stumbling block comes” (Matt. 18:7). immodest clothes, double entender jokes, ease of dealing with the opposite sex - all this can harm not only us, but also other people. And then "woe to us." Whatever we do, we must always think about whether we are unconsciously driven by any passion, and how our behavior will resonate in the heart of another person.

Woe to the world from temptations

Much of our life depends on relationship to one problem or another. Even the obvious temptation can be treated quite neutrally. But if you specifically tune yourself in, warm up the passion in yourself, a small push is enough for the passions to break loose.

In our time, both the media and modern literature, art, even education are trying to inspire us with the idea that sin is the norm, and black is white. The sin of fornication is especially vehemently propagated: “ sex life is necessary for everyone without exception (in various forms), you simply cannot live without it, without it you will never have happiness, health, nothing at all. If a person has sexual organs, they must necessarily act, etc.” You can talk about this for a very long time, but everything is clear and so. Everything turned upside down: sin, perversions - this is not something that needs to be got rid of, but something without which it is impossible to live. The source of all this is also known. We are offered a monstrous lie, and the "father of lies", as you know, is the devil.

Is it possible to live in this scary world depravity and sin, keep clean?

The Gospel, the New Testament, where fornication is called a mortal sin, was written not only for people of the 1st century. It is written for all times and for us Christians of the 21st century. Where did the first Christians live? In the Roman Empire. And Rome has reached such a level of licentiousness, debauchery, sexual perversions, to which our country, thank God, has not yet reached. And yet, Christians were able to save themselves, their families from the onslaught of impurity. And Christianity, despite the most severe persecution, was able to change this world. The empire became Christian at the beginning of the 4th century.

If we are not talking about the times of the first Christians, but about our recent past, then even 20 years ago, much that today's youth considers ridiculous, ridiculous and outdated was the norm. The norm was to start a family. It was the norm for most girls to keep themselves until marriage. Cohabitation without marriage was condemned by society and was extremely rare. So it was in our country, where family traditions did not die even in the godless Soviet times. And in general, any normal person sooner or later understands that the path of promiscuity, permissiveness, destruction of the family is the path to nowhere. America, exhausted by the fruits of the "sexual revolution", turned towards moral, family values. Since 1996, the United States has introduced a program called Teaching Abstinence. $50 million a year is allocated for its implementation. The purpose of this program is to oppose sexual promiscuity, abortion, illegitimate pregnancy, promoting abstinence and explaining to adolescents that it does not harm the body.

In our country, unfortunately, so far, on the contrary, the opinion that abstinence is harmful is being inculcated in every possible way: “If there are organs, they must work at all costs. If there are desires, they must be satisfied. And that's why we overtook everyone in terms of abortions and the number of abandoned children.

A little about the reproductive organs. They are given to us for reproduction, for the reproduction of offspring. And all animal organisms use them for this. Their non-functioning cannot lead to loss of health. For example, a woman may give birth to one child in her life, or may not give birth at all. At the same time, her uterus will remain unclaimed, but this does not mean that the woman will get sick. The human body has mechanisms of self-regulation.

It all depends on our attitude towards the problem of abstinence. If a person decides that he will not be able to live, if he dies without sexual intercourse, it will really be impossible for him to abstain. And one who is tuned to abstinence, keeping himself from temptations, will be able to bear it.

In marriage, temperance must also be learned. After all, there are fasts, periods of pregnancy, illness can happen. There are people whose professional activity involves long business trips. And so it was always, and the spouses somehow endured, humbled themselves. Many godly mothers had many children and during pregnancy and lactation (which is more than two years) did not have carnal fellowship with her husband.

And now even other doctors advise treating certain diseases (for example, prostatitis) with the help of random relationships. If a man does not have a wife, they advise having a mistress to "heal". What can be said here? Prostatitis is not a new disease. But in our time, immorality and licentiousness have captured all strata of society and class, including doctors. No sin can underlie the cure. Sin does not create, it only destroys. Now there are a lot of modern drugs and methods of treatment of male diseases. Unscrupulous doctors sometimes give just terrible advice. One man lost only child who was seriously ill and died in his arms. This man was extremely worried about his grief. In addition, his wife could no longer bear children. He was treated for a long time, turned to psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and this is what they advised him: “Get yourself a mistress, and let her give birth to your child. Or divorce your wife and marry a young one, and you will have children.” Yes, truly "terrible age, terrible hearts!".

God help!

Flesh-burning warfare is a natural thing, there is no need to be afraid of it. Each person feels certain inclinations, movements in his body. But these movements should not get out of hand. Our hormones, our nature must always be kept on a short leash and in a strict collar, otherwise this dog will break out and may bite us.

If we want to fight the lust of the flesh and ask God for help, the Lord will definitely help us. If there is no struggle with the flesh, there will be no reward for the feat.

A certain presbyter Conon often performed the sacrament of baptism. Whenever he had to anoint with holy oil and baptize women, he fell into great embarrassment and for this reason even wanted to leave the monastery. Then Saint John the Baptist appeared to him and said: "Be firm and endure, and I will deliver you from this battle." Once a Persian girl came to him for baptism. She was so beautiful that the presbyter did not dare to anoint her with holy oil. She waited two days. Meanwhile, Presbyter Conon, taking the mantle, withdrew with the words: "I can no longer stay here." But as soon as he ascended the hill, St. John the Baptist met him and said: "Return to the monastery, and I will deliver you from battle." Conon angrily answered him: “Be sure, I will never return. You promised me this many times, but you never kept your promise.” Then Saint John opened his garments and made the sign of the cross three times. “Believe me, Conon,” said the Baptist, “I wanted you to receive a reward for this battle, but since you did not want to, I will deliver you, but at the same time you are deprived of the reward for the feat.” Returning to the monastery, the presbyter baptized the Persian, as if not noticing that she was a woman. After that, until his death, he performed baptism without any impure arousal of the flesh.

Carnal lust is not accidentally compared with fire, flame. And the holy fathers unanimously say that it is impossible to give her any food (fuel) through the satiety of the flesh, sight, hearing and other senses, and then it will not be difficult to cope with her. A sudden flame that breaks out can be easily trampled down, but it will only take a few minutes and the whole house will be on fire. Anyone who has ever seen a big fire knows how uncontrollable the fiery element is.

(To be continued.)

In this article we will talk about one of the most important issues modern world- adultery. Many certainly know that adultery is a punishable sin, dishonor, baseness and pollution of the soul. However, not everyone can accurately answer the question of what adultery is. That is why below we will discuss this and other issues related to this sin in as much detail as possible.

But first, it is worth remembering what exactly is called sin, and what actions Orthodox Church refers to sinful deeds, and whether prayer will help from fornication.

7 deadly sins

Sin is a list of violations of religious commandments. This list is very extensive, but the main ones, which are called "mortals", are far from all. These are the vices that can cause other impartial acts. We will not consider them in detail now, since the main topic is adultery, so we will limit ourselves to a simple enumeration. So, what is included in the list of "Seven Deadly Sins"?

It is the latter that is worth discussing in more detail.

Adultery: what is it?

Answering the question about what is adultery in orthodoxy, we can say that this is a great sin, which is part of the 10 commandments. This sin usually involves treason and infidelity. In ancient times, those who committed adultery were subjected to the most severe punishment - the death penalty, since such an action was equated with an unholy and diabolical act. When a person succumbs to love and sexual attraction to the opposite sex, he violates the boundaries of fidelity to his spouse, thereby destroying the family.

In addition, adultery is also considered an intimate relationship between people who are out of wedlock. especially important place this issue takes place in Muslim states. Even in the Holy Quran, Allah Almighty says the following words about adultery: “Do not approach adultery, for it is an abomination and a bad way.” It is also worth noting that the prohibition of this commandment includes:

• Lust;
• Divorce;
• Lust for other people's husbands and wives.

Is there anything else in this concept, except for extramarital intimate life and an intimate relationship with someone else's companion? Nowadays, most people simply can't tell adultery from simple human relations. In order for everyone to be able to understand this issue as much as possible, here are a few good examples:

In addition to the above, adultery is any sexual fantasies with a woman who belongs to another man. Now it is worth discussing in more detail what is not adultery. And can you join intimate relationship with a single woman? Let's talk about this in more detail:

• intimate relationship between a single man and a woman do not refer to adultery only if people plan to legalize their union by marriage in the near future. If, after the first sexual intimacy, the guy did not offer the girl a hand and heart, then this will be considered already fornication.
• A man who is already married and slept with a single woman should also make her an offer to marry and invite her to his house in the place of his second wife. Only in this case, intimacy will not be considered fornication.

Punishment for adultery

We have already discussed what adultery is, and now we can talk about consequences and punishments for this mortal sin. If a person showed lust for the opposite sex, cheated, showed dishonor or committed any other bad deed, then unmarried man one hundred strong blows lashes. He is also expelled from society for whole year. This is the punishment for fornication in Islam. And it is worth noting that this is not the most severe punishment. It does not matter who was guilty of the sin - both deserve punishment. Although, from the fair sex, the demand will be great.

If we talk about people who committed adultery while being married, or were before they committed a mortal sin, then they are subjected to the most severe punishment. Such people are stoned to death. It is also believed that such a person who has committed a sin will be in without fail burn in hell. But there is only one way out of this situation - atonement for mortal sin and sincere repentance.

Orthodoxy and adultery

What is considered adultery in Orthodoxy? First of all, this sin means treason, intimacy between two married people, as well as sexual intercourse between a single person and a betrothed. Exchanging rings at the wedding, the couple takes an oath of their fidelity and love before God, the Cross, the Gospel. If this promise is broken, then the person thereby deceives his witnesses. For this sin, the Orthodox Church does not punish the sinner bodily, but causes condemnation from God.

How to atone for sin? Will prayer help?

Many have no idea how to get rid of their sins before God. Repentance is considered only half the battle. . After repentance, redemption must follow.. Everything is much more complicated here. The clergy say that if you sincerely ask for repentance and forgiveness, then the Almighty will surely forgive and give a chance for further existence. In order to protect yourself from the temptation of dreams in the future, there is one good remedy - prayer from adultery and fornication.

In conclusion, I would like to give readers a few tips: fill your life only good times and actions, respect your family and friends, love your spouses and children, read prayers for your health and never commit adultery!

Instruction

It is important to understand that we ourselves cannot atone for any of our sins. We have a Redeemer who took all our sins upon Himself. We can only ask His mercy to forgive us, in once more who violated His commandments and His will. We receive forgiveness through repentance and our sins. Adultery is one of the deadly sins. St. John Chrysostom believed that adultery is a more serious sin than any robbery, because the adulterer not only defiles his body and soul, but also steals from others that which is more precious than any treasure - love and marriage. Put yourself in the place of a spouse who recognized him, understand his pain and mental anguish. This is necessary in order to abstain from such sin in the future.

To receive forgiveness, you need to turn to and confess to him not only in the sin of adultery, but also in other sins that have accumulated in you, like in any person. Think well in what you are still sinful, make up your sins, voluntary or involuntary. If you want to be cleansed, then after confession it is very good to take Communion. Before Communion, you need to fast for at least three days.

Read prayers in the morning and before bed. If possible, it is better to go on the eve of Communion, so that during the morning Divine Service you will not be distracted from prayer. It will be very difficult to tell the priest about your sins, but it is necessary to do this, because unrepentant sin will remain unforgiven. You do not need to go into detail about your adventures, unless you need advice in a particular situation. It is enough to report that you committed adultery, deceived your spouse and involved other people in deception. If the priest has questions, answer them as honestly as possible - remember that lying and hiding in confession will add weight to your already committed sins.

After receiving permission from sins, remember the moment of shame when you told about your fall in a cassock, and imagine how much more painful it will be to stand before the Lord and answer Him for your deeds. Try to avoid in the future any situation that can lead you to a new fall.

Helpful advice

Remember that not only physical treason, but also an attempt to seduce not a free person- a sin before the Lord and people.

Sources:

• What is adultery?

Sin is breaking the commandments given by God. According to Deacon Andrei Kuraev, sin is a wound that a person inflicts on his soul. A person is responsible for his sins, and only children under seven years of age are considered sinless, since they cannot fully realize their actions.

Instruction

To believe is to put all your hope in the Lord Jesus Christ. We must remember that Jesus Christ died on the Cross for all our sins and purchased for us the gift of eternal salvation. The mercy of God is infinite: “Call on Me on the day and I will deliver you” (Psalm 49:15).

Confession is a great Sacrament in which the penitent is cleansed from sins by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. As Holy Scripture teaches: “If we confess our sins, He, being faithful and just, will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John, ch.1, verse 8). You need to know that mentioning your sins in home prayer is not enough, since the Lord gave the right to resolve the sins of people only to the apostles and their successors - bishops, clergymen.
It is necessary to prepare for Confession in advance: it is necessary to make peace with your neighbors, asking for forgiveness from those whom you have offended. It is advisable to read the literature on the Sacrament of Confession and Communion and remember all your sins (sometimes, in order not to forget, they are written out on a separate sheet). In the evening, there are three canons at home: Repentant to our Lord Jesus Christ, the Mother of God, the Angel. You can use the prayer books, where there are these three canons.

Fulfill the penance appointed by the priest. Sometimes a priest may impose penance on a penitent, as in a fight with. The strengthening of the prayer rule, the ban on Communion for a certain time, fasting, pilgrimage to Holy places, alms, etc. can act as a penance. This must be regarded as the will of God, intended for the healing of the soul. Penance requires obligatory execution. If for some reason it is impossible to perform penance, you must contact the one who imposed it.

Helpful advice

To confess, you need to go to the temple and find out at what time the Sacrament of Confession is performed.

concept sin can be defined as a violation of personal integrity, harmony. Whatever views you hold, whatever religion you profess, by transgressing moral laws, you first of all harm yourself. If you are tormented by the consciousness of the perfect sin and wondering redemption sin fornication try not to fall into despair. Think about whose advice will be authoritative for you, and then follow it in order to regain peace of mind.

Instruction

Before resorting to the help of authorities, determine for yourself what the essence of your sin. Clearly articulate the action you are taking that is causing you to feel guilty right now. Reply to next questions: “Who else, besides yourself, did your actions harm?”, “How could you avoid this?”, “What needs to be done in the future so that the mistake does not happen again?”. Write down your answers on paper, this will help to avoid vague wording. Such an analysis is important in order to understand the situation and outline ways to correct it. You can burn the paper as an act of "forgiving yourself."

Pray to the Lord Mother of God, read "Protection" if you were brought up in the faith. Repentance must be done through a priest. Church canons distinguish fornication. For fornication, they are excommunicated from Communion up to 7 years, and for adultery - up to 12. Do not look for compassionate priests who will give penance for two weeks and are already pushing you to Communion.

Look for others if you are a follower of a different faith. Seek help from a psychologist if that suits you better. Perhaps you need to talk to someone close to you who can understand and support you so that you do not despair. Buddha is credited with the words: "Everyone is his own refuge, who else can be a refuge?". But you need clarity of sight in order to continue on your way.

Christianity recognizes two forms of organizing personal life: marriage and celibacy (celibacy). If such a sin happened, it is wrong to look for an answer how to atone. The Lord said, repent. Didn't say redeem.

Instruction

Repent in your soul and realize the sinfulness of fornication. Repent to your loved one, if you have committed the sin of fornication in relation to him. Tell him honestly about the reasons that led to fornication, about your feelings, experiences, emotional state. Apologize to him and try in every possible way to regain the trust and love of the one from whom you fornicated. Keep no connection with the person with whom you have sinned and try not to allow even a hint that you can commit this sin again. Behave with dignity, decently, do not give even the slightest reason to your loved one to doubt the sincerity of your repentance. But at the same time, never allow yourself to be humiliated, do not tolerate mockery of moral or physical punishment.

Try to explain that you are fully aware of the sin you have committed and are ready to atone for it. Focus on the fact that you honestly admitted to fornication and now repent of committing such an act. Remind your loved one that your conscience constantly punishes you, that it does not allow you to forget for a second about the sin you have committed.

Go to church if you want to atone for the sin of fornication before God. Confess to the priest, do not hide anything, tell everything as it happened, do not embellish your story and do not try to understand it. Repent to the priest with all your soul and realize the sinfulness of fornication. Never fornicate again, refrain from temptations and committing sinful deeds. Start living a correct human and Christian life, confess more often and live according to church laws. Do not allow despair, which is also a very great sin, at the source of which is human pride. Find out from the priest the order of communion and be sure to start constantly taking communion.

Cheating often leads to separation. However, if your loved one has forgiven you for such an act, you need to make every effort to atone for your guilt. In no case should you think that if you have achieved forgiveness, then your efforts are over. There is still a lot of work ahead.

Instruction

Ask for forgiveness for your actions. And be sure to honestly explain why you so deceived the trust of your partner. It is very important to sincerely repent and show it to your loved one. Demonstrate that you are as sorry for what you cheated on as much as the person who has been deceived feels resentment. Let me speak. Better let your partner throw a scandal, express his thoughts, than it will accumulate inside and one day spill out.

Try to raise the self-esteem of a loved one. Keep in mind that your betrayal is perceived by your partner as the fact that you compared him with someone else and the choice was not in his favor. Therefore, right now you must inspire your beloved that he is the best in the world, beautiful, interesting and mysterious. This is especially important for women. Admire, give more compliments. Just do it sincerely. After all, if you are trying to maintain a relationship, then your loved one is really special for you. Therefore, do not forget to remind him of this more often.

Restore trust in your relationship. Without this, it is unlikely that anything will work. Just don't think it's as easy to do it as it was to lose it. For quite a long period of time, your partner will expect a dirty trick and betrayal from you. Minimize your interactions with the opposite sex. Try to be completely open with your loved one. Even in small things, be honest and do not hide anything. Do not hide your phone, do not close your mail in front of your partner. Do not give even the slightest reason for suspicion. And more often promise something and keep your word. This will convince your loved one that you are always telling the truth.

Show your love. Do not be lazy to present a gift or make a pleasant surprise. Bring a new breath into your love. Fresh emotions will gradually replace the feeling of resentment and your relationship will begin to improve. But be prepared for the fact that this offense will be remembered for a long time to come. Unfortunately, forgetting betrayal is even harder than forgiving it.

Helpful advice

Try to never cheat on your loved one again. Just because you've been forgiven once, doesn't mean it will always be that way.

Sin in Orthodoxy is a serious misconduct of a person leading to death. human soul, the impossibility of eternal life in the kingdom of God. Almost all sins can be atoned for in confession.

Unforgivable sin

There is one sin that will forever close the door to the kingdom of God - the expression of discontent and condemnation of his actions. Orthodox Christian you should always remember this and not make a fatal mistake. This sin is called pride and is considered the original sin. According to the Bible, Lucifer was banished from heaven to earth precisely because he dared to express dissatisfaction with the existing order.

Other sins

There are 7 deadly sins in total. Pride is one of them. They are called mortals because they destroy the life of the soul. If a person commits serious offenses too often, he can permanently alienate himself from God and his true path. In this case, he can only hope for God's mercy and forgiveness.

Greed is the most common sin today. Man is so absorbed in his material goods(or their absence) that he forgets about his soul, that he is imperfect and that he needs to rely on the help and mercy of God. Greed is exacerbated by "dirty" money that a person has earned dishonestly.

Fornication is another common sin. Sometimes the animal nature of a person takes precedence over his spiritual aspirations, and the person indulges in everything. Even a glance at a woman counts. Cursing, reading and viewing pornographic material is also considered sinful.

Envy is considered sinful only if it leads to harm to one's neighbor. This is the so-called "black" envy. It is somewhat reminiscent of pride, since a person, envying someone, also expresses dissatisfaction with the existing order of things, which is established by God.

Despondency leads a person to depression, and sometimes to suicide. It all starts with the fact that a person is simply too lazy to do good deeds and arrange his life. This gradually turns into the fact that a person ceases to experience fear of God and rely on him.

Anger clouds the mind of a person and completely takes possession of it. Because of him, a person is capable of anything, just to get rid of this unpleasant feeling. Often strife and murder are committed on the basis of anger. Of course, the case does not always end with assault, but hatred between people is sure to remain.

Gluttony is expressed in the use of drugs and alcohol, as well as non-compliance with prescribed fasts.

Sources:

• deadly sins
• sins in orthodoxy

Masturbation or masturbation from ancient times was perceived as a sinful and condemned occupation. However, modern statistics claim that 99% of men and more than 80% of women masturbate at least once in their lives. Doctors unanimously say that such a discharge is useful both for the physiology of the body and for the psyche. The church most often bypasses such topics, and there is very little information on this issue in the scriptures.

Masturbation in the Bible

The term "masturbation" comes from the name of the hero of the Old Testament myth Onan. The Lord commanded his older brother Ira to take Tamar as his wife, but he soon died without giving offspring. The wife was inherited by Onan. The young man was supposed to continue the family of his brother. That is, the first male child born from Onan should have been considered the son of the deceased Ir. This prospect did not impress Onan, and at first wedding night he "poured his seed upon the earth" to prevent conception. However, most likely, here we are not talking about, but about interrupted sexual intercourse.

Probably, in those days, masturbation and methods of protection from unwanted pregnancy were identical concepts, because did not bring desired result- children. The Lord was very angry, because he promised that it was from this kind that the Messiah should come. In punishment, he struck the unfortunate with lightning. Nowhere else in the Old or New Testament is this occupation mentioned. From which we can conclude that in the entire history of mankind, only one masturbator was punished, and only because his seed did not go where God needed.

Masturbation in the Middle Ages

The Christian church, raised on the foundations of the Old Testament, honored the myths of the Jewish people and adopted many of their customs regarding worship and righteous living. For a long time no one touched the masturbators, no one cared about them. But to replace the relatively tolerant early Christianity came the medieval clergy, who in every respect suffered from maximalism. Masturbation, petting, oral sex, contraception, and even spontaneous wet dreams were considered sinful activities, and those who practiced them were to be punished. They dealt with "handicraftsmen", most often at the denunciation of ill-wishers, God-fearing relatives, friends and even parents.

Teenagers caught masturbating for the first time were beaten on the hands with a stick, imposed penance and released. However, if this did not help, and young people continued to satisfy themselves on their own, responsible relatives, with the help of priests, moved with all zeal to more radical measures. Historical memoirs about medieval life describe cases when boys were cut off the head of the penis for masturbation, and girls were cauterized with a red-hot iron or the clitoris was pulled out with tongs. Of course, these actions were accompanied by the reading of psalms and prayers for such delicate occasions. O future fate not a word is said to these crippled children, but it can be assumed that they were no longer interested in masturbation.

Masturbation in the modern religious world

The common misconception that masturbation is a crime against nature is often used by retrogrades and religious fanatics. And yet, masturbation is a very common phenomenon in the animal world, which allows us to say that it is inherent in living beings by nature itself.

The Orthodox Church condemns sexual activity before marriage, as well as acts of self-gratification and mental lust. Catholic and Protestant priests, for the most part, look at this occupation condescendingly, if we are not talking about obsessive onanism. In addition, most Orthodox and Catholic priests do not condemn mutual marital masturbation as an act of prelude before intercourse, preferring not to interfere in this sphere of the flock's personal life if it does not run counter to spiritual and universal moral standards.

In Eastern teachings, masturbation is approached philosophically. Some even recommend masturbation to achieve spiritual enlightenment. Foreplay and sex have been cultized in many Eastern cultures for centuries, and here mutual masturbation, as well as self-gratification, played a very important role.

In the 21st century, there is no consensus on masturbation, there is only personal attitude individual clergy to her. Some consider lustful thoughts to be sinful and, equating the latter with sexual perversions, others rely on the absence of direct indications in Holy Scripture and commandments, argue that masturbation is not considered a sin.

When a person decides to commit suicide, he does not think that he is committing a terrible mortal sin. Life is a treasure given to him by the Lord. And only he can take it. However, there are also special cases of voluntary departure from life.

Any priest is familiar with this situation: A woman comes, says that her husband has cheated on her and asks what she should do now, how to live on: “To get a divorce or not, how do you bless?” (For the sake of fairness, it must be said that cases when wives cheat on their husbands and men come to a priest for advice, unfortunately, are also not rare.) In this situation, no unambiguous answer and blessing can be given. Because a person who has been cheated on can only make a decision himself: get a divorce after betrayal or try to heal the situation with forgiveness and love. No one can make this choice for the spouses. Because to live in a marriage where trouble happened only to them. That is why the Gospel, although it calls adultery the only reason for divorce, does not give a categorical command; be sure to divorce in case of adultery. Family situations, the causes and circumstances of adultery, the readiness of spouses for reconciliation are very, very different. Of course, betrayal is a grave sin, a very serious trauma for the whole family. What used to be a single whole in marriage fell apart, the marriage seemed to crack in half. Not every wife and not every husband is able to live later with a spouse who has betrayed them, even in the case of repentance of the sinning side.

A legal marriage union (not even married) is the union of two people into one flesh for love and the birth of children. The Holy Apostle Paul says that “he who copulates with a harlot becomes one body with her” ( 1 Corinthians 15:16). That is, the marriage union is broken and another, lawless and sinful union is created on the basis of adultery. Lovers in such a union unite to commit an unlawful act - fornication.

One very experienced priest said that the commandments are not some kind of prohibitions, taboos, but road signs warning of danger. For example, a hole was dug on the road, limited by flags, signs are hanging. You can ignore the indication of the signs to fall into the pit and suffer very badly, or you can go around a dangerous place. The seventh commandment: "Do not commit adultery" says: "by committing a sin against the family, you will not find happiness."

Cheating destroys not only marriage, but also the soul of the one who cheats. You can't build happiness on someone else's grief. There is a law of spiritual balance: having sowed evil, sin, we will reap evil, our sin will return to us.

Adultery doesn't start with a fact physical infidelity, but much earlier, when a person gives himself permission to dirty thoughts, immodest views. The Gospel says: everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matt. 5.28).

In every registry office, behind every candle box in the church where the wedding is being arranged, you need to write capital letters memo to the newlyweds:“When I get married, I make a firm and irrevocable decision: to live with my spouse (or wife) all my life. From the moment of marriage, I will not consider anyone else as a potential spouse (or spouse).

Only by setting such an iron rule for himself, a person will not be tormented by empty doubts, unsatisfied desires, but will begin to live in the present, build strong family relationships and avoid many mistakes.

Those who marry must burn all bridges and leave no loophole for themselves. Only then will they be happy in family life.

If there has been a betrayal, is it possible to reconnect the torn halves together? It is possible, but not very easy. After all, even as a result domestic conflict, family quarrel a crack can form in the relationship of spouses, let alone betrayal, betrayal. You can give the following medical analogy: a bruise or a crack in the bone is one thing, and an open fracture or a severed limb is quite another. Although a severed or cut off part of the body under certain conditions and highly qualified doctors can be sewn on and it will take root. One of my acquaintances was cut off the phalanges of the fingers of his left hand, and after a successful operation, he was even able to play the guitar after a while. If in case of treason there are conditions for reconciliation, that is; forgiveness on one side, repentance on the other, and mutual love, sin can be healed and the marital union restored. Such examples, thank God, I know a lot. But you need to know that if adultery has happened in the family and the spouses want to reconcile, they can no longer live the way they lived before. They must radically revise, improve their relationship, otherwise the risk of relapse is very high. Spouses need not only to forgive, but also to love each other again.

We will try to understand the causes of adultery. As a rule, the cause of infidelity is the wrong behavior of both spouses. They say that husbands never leave good wives and good lives. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. Even spouses who have been married for a long time have all sorts of temptations, as they say: “gray hair in a beard - a devil in a rib.”

According to statistics, husbands cheat on their wives much more often than wives cheat on their husbands. There are several reasons for this. And increased male excitability, and the subordinate, passive position of women in society and the greater attachment of wives to home and children, and more. Of course, this does not justify men at all. Cheating is a grave sin for both men and women. But back to the causes of adultery. So, as a rule, betrayal is preceded by tension between spouses, their wrong behavior, difficult situation in the family.

It is unfair to believe that the basis of treason is only sexual attraction, very often a person is looking for something completely different. It seems to him that he can find on the side what he does not have in married life. In front of a wife who knows all his shortcomings of weakness, it is very difficult for a husband to look self-confident, strong, decisive. With a mistress, he feels bold, brilliant, witty, courageous, etc. The relationship of lovers does not imply depth, it is very easy for them to seem better to each other than they really are, to play some kind of role, this does not oblige them to anything, and it is very tempting. A man sees in his mistress (who, of course, wants to please him) as he thinks real woman. And the wife “barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen”, of course, is inferior to her in all respects.

A mistress, as a rule, does not "get" a man with grumbling, demands, she does not try to re-educate him, he is comfortable next to her. Although this is all self-deception. She acts this way only because their relationship is superficial and does not involve any responsibility. But in all this there is, of course, the fault of the wife. Perhaps she did not create or save souls, trusting relationship with her husband, has lost those qualities that the husband is now looking for in another woman. She often brought up, sawed her husband, did not really look after herself, he does not see beauty, tenderness, affection from her. After all, spouses should be desirable and attractive not for someone, but for each other.

If a betrayal has occurred, but the husband is ready to return to the bosom of the family, and the wife is able to forgive him, she needs to take this difficult episode of her life as a lesson. What did I do wrong, and what was the unlucky spouse looking for on the side?

We have now analyzed male infidelity, but all of the above can be applied to female infidelity. If a husband is a model of a real man, his wife is unlikely to cheat on him.

And of course, both spouses need to remember: so that betrayal never happens between you, always be the most beloved and desired for each other.

Adultery is the physical intimacy of people who are married to others. This passion includes prodigal sensations and desires of someone else's body, impure thoughts and conversations in a vulgar manner. It is not only the betrayer who commits adultery, but also the one with whom this sin is committed: guilt and shame lie on both sides.

Fornication and adultery: what is the difference

The apostles say that all unclean deeds and thoughts should not be mentioned at all in the Holy Scriptures. However, the surrounding debauchery has extremely dulled the sense of morality, so that even people brought up in Christianity have premarital sexual relations and divorces.

• The sin of adultery in Orthodoxy is associated primarily with adultery, change. Succumbing to carnal temptations, a person destroys own family. Passion can be regarded as betrayal, because a marriage is always a sacred union. Relationships are destroyed, everything that was built in love for each other is on the decline.
• Fornication is different in that people enter into a relationship without being in marital relations. A person with all his appearance and behavior shows that he has desire achieve the set goal. The prodigal life forces one to violate moral principles and blinds the mind of the individual, violates the law of chastity.

Adulterous persons provoke a large number of problems and disasters. Sin destroys homes and breeds strife, dries up love and goodwill. Libertines deprive themselves huge amount blessings and replace them with diabolical turmoil.

Orthodox priests say that there is no one more shameful than a person who commits vile adultery.

On a note! Those suspected of treason live with heavy emotions. It seems to them that the table is filled with poisons, and the house is shrouded in countless evil. Such people do not sleep well, the speeches of good friends and the light of the bright sun are not dear to them. They experience suffering not only when they see the adultery of their spouse, but also when they think about it.

Spouses should be very close to each other, so it becomes painful for them when a husband or wife finds himself in the unclean and unlawful service of another person. People who indulge in fornication are highly condemned by the people and religion. Adultery carries a greater punishment because the spouses entered into a sacred pact and swore allegiance to each other.

About the family in Orthodoxy:

Believer in confession

Punishment for adultery

Fornication is called carnal pleasure without causing any harm to another.

The sin of adultery gives rise to slander (lie) and offense to the lawful union. As a punishment, the church may excommunicate the adulterer from communion with the Holy Mysteries for 15 years. Fornicator is prescribed a seven-year term.

Important! The measure of penance (church punishment) is established depending on the state of the person who committed the sin.

• The people highly condemn every manifestation of infidelity, therefore the adulterer will feel unpleasant conversations on the side.
• Those who have fallen into fornication cannot receive communion until they repent.
• Punishment comes from one's own conscience, which does not allow sin to be forgotten. long time. Cleansing comes only after the destruction of the memory of this event.
• The consequence of the sin of adultery is the suffering that is born after learning about treason. Spouses have to seek a divorce, because it is even more difficult to save a marriage.
• Any prodigal sin closes the gate to the heavenly abode for the soul.
• Adulterers will suffer “a second death in the lake of hell, full of fire and brimstone.
• In the New Testament, the bodies of each person become members of the body of Christ, therefore, the sinner brings dishonor to the Son of God and dissolves the original unity. Having lost the sacred support, a person surrenders to the power of monstrous demons.
• Fornication and adultery build a metaphysical wall through which prayers and forgiveness seep heavily. If he does not take appropriate measures to heal the soul, there is a possibility of falling away from the Church and God forever.
• They turn away from the adulterer, turn away. He is considered an object of shame and contempt, he brings sadness to his parents and is the subject of unflattering reviews.
• The sin of adultery in Orthodoxy is capable of destroying not only the physical, but also the spiritual shell. They annul the laws of morality, which are independent of the will of man.

On a note! Saint Basil, talking about adultery did not distinguish between adultery on the part of the wife and the husband. In both cases the sins became mortal and required full repentance.

This position did not take root for a long time. Christian tradition because the wife in ancient times did not have the status of a full member of society.

The meaning of the commandment "do not commit adultery"

Against this sin, the sayings of the Holy Fathers and certain passages from the Gospel have special power.

• He who lustfully looks at a woman commits adultery.
• The children of Israel should not be subjected to this passion, since the heavenly abode does not accept people who are impure in heart.
• Bodies in Orthodoxy are regarded as a temple in which the Holy Spirit lives. It is believed that there is nothing in the material world that would belong to us, therefore it is forbidden and unnatural to sin at a party.
• It is necessary to take care of the purity of your body, because the time will come and every Christian will have to give an account for the life he has done.
• Adultery is necessarily judged by the Almighty God, but a pure marriage and an immaculate bed is permitted by God.

Causes of adultery and the sin of fornication in Orthodoxy

The most important factor in falling into this dangerous passion is the mental desire for the pleasure of the flesh and a drunken life. The enemy (sin) finds loopholes in the mind of a Christian if the latter does not drive away evil and lustful thoughts. The soul, having weakened the control over temptations, approaches an unfortunate and ruinous fall.

• The clergy note that those who have already fallen under the power of another passion become adulterers and fornicators. The root of all lust lies in the acquisition of praise and glory.
• Sinfulness increases when people do not protect their bodies from objects of temptation. Pride and vanity, which are rarely noticed by a person, induce to go to fornication for the sake of satisfying one's own lust.
• The apostles call the cause of fornication (fornication) and adultery satiety. When our body is full, the demon of gluttony leaves and invites the unclean spirit of adultery to come and confuse the mind with dirty thoughts, and the body with outflows.
• The spirit of drowsiness also torments the unfortunate enough, because the lazy and drowsy mind is not capable of fully resisting the harsh demon of fornication.
• Often the help of the Almighty departs from those who ask, because they slander, reproach and condemn their neighbors. Going against the brothers, a person is left alone and is unable to resist the destructive temptations.
• The raid of thought is a swift cause, which is practically imperceptible by consciousness. It instantly excites passion without a word or an image.

How to atone for lascivious sin

Each of the passions is capable of capturing the soul and removing it from communion with the Eternal purity of the Lord. If sins unite, it becomes an addition to get out of a dangerous situation, therefore the task of every Orthodox is to destroy all the seeds of sinfulness.

• The first thing is the cleansing of the secrets of the heart, which will make it possible to see God in the soul. He will give instructions and correct advice that will protect from the influence of the sin of fornication. Not a single thought can hide from the Creator, therefore, the desire for fornication or adultery must be destroyed with great shame in the face of the Almighty.
• The clergy teach the laity to be more attentive to feelings and desires. Demons of lustful sinfulness often appear in the form of a useful and good deed. Impure creatures first darken the mind, and then push in what they need.
• Healing will come when the thought of opposite field cease to arouse passion. To reduce the temptation, it is necessary to reduce the time of communication and remove vicious reflections from oneself. The fire of lust flares up precisely in the movement of thought, and not in the body.
• Since the demonic attack is made on the body and soul, one should resist in two ways. Bodily fasting alone is not enough, a layman should constantly meditate on the Holy Scriptures, and also occupy his hands with work or needlework.
• If a temptation arises before a person, he is obliged to find the cause, internal or external, and eradicate it. Chastity implies simplicity in dress and peace of one's own flesh, which will not allow fornication to arise in the mind.

Prayer help:

The work of every Christian is the extermination of a vicious mood. In this way, the believer brings himself closer to true knowledge, purity and bliss.

• A Christian is obliged to avoid the sin of drunkenness, which will allow him to be more vigilant and not let the demon of fornication lead into temptation. It is necessary to cleanse one's own heart, in which, according to Solomon, dwell the sources of life and death. A person needs to become humble and modest, because passions arise from freedom of communication.
• One of the most important weapons in the struggle is to keep feelings within their limits. The Church teaches to move away from the hustle and bustle and concentrate on achieving the main goal - the purification of the heart and mind. Priests give the following advice: things can be treated neutrally, even if they are capable of causing lust. The attitude of the individual to the environment is important.
• A Christian will save his soul from corruption if he manages to avoid communion with the demon of adultery. The enemy should not contradict, absolute ignoring helps. Opposition will only increase the aggression of the impure demon, which will not rest until it is defeated by humility.
• Another way to get rid of fornication is righteous anger. If a Christian sees signs of growing lust in his soul, he should be angry about it. Sympathy will allow sin to stay inside and return in moments of weakness.
• A Christian should not judge the environment, it is important to have patience and meekness. It is morally forbidden for a person to attribute to others what he does not know for certain. The believer is recommended to work only on his own consciousness, clearing the way to the heavenly abodes.
• Confessions and prayers help in the struggle. Often these methods are last chance salvation for the deeply buried soul.

Important! Young people today fall prey to the "zeitgeist" and rarely know what the consequences prodigal life can lead to serious suffering. However, even the most lost soul has a chance to return to God, since Christianity is the religion of resurrection. History knows a large number of examples of the correction of harlots who became saints, performing a colossal feat.

Spiritual and bodily purity (chastity) is a virtue that is the exact opposite of adultery and fornication. Sinful adultery gives suffering to the family and all its members. Fornication does not offend anyone, but leaves the seed of fornication for a long time.

The Church obliges all Orthodox to eradicate this vicious weakness with the help of prayers, confessions and fasts with all their might. Getting rid of fornication opens the way to the Kingdom of Heaven and purifies the mind.

Watch a video about fornication and adultery