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What is Christian love? Orthodox parish of the Church of the Assumption of the Mother of God in Kamyshin, Volgograd diocese of the Russian Orthodox Church - Edges of Love.

In this section of the site, priests, philosophers, theologians, Orthodox saints reflect on love as the highest wisdom, the main destiny of man. Articles should be thoughtfully and critically evaluated. Even the fathers, whom the Church unequivocally recognized as saints, did not have a unified point of view on some issues. For example, is salvation possible outside the church? One of the sources of our tragedies is the splitting of Christian culture: the scientific world has rejected God as a hypothesis that it does not need, and the church has rejected science as an unpious occupation. Superficial knowledge moves us away from religion, thorough knowledge returns us to it again.

A sign of the health of the soul is the ability to see one's sins. A.I. Osipov April 14, 2012

Issues where psychology gives way to religion September 9, 2011

It is not for us to decide what God should be. Deacon Kuraev. July 21, 2010

Saint Nicholas of Serbia. One Hundred Words About Divine Love June 6, 2007.

See also no less relevant and interesting materials from the archive of articles in the "Orthodoxy about Love" section and Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh: "What kind of God should we look for? The Living God! which does not quite coincide with the image of God that the catechism offers. To be honest, I thank the Lord that young people are looking for a God who is not as narrow, insignificant as the image that we offer them. This is true not only at the level of the catechism, on a minimal level, when we are content with raising bleating sheep, but also on a deeper level.In the fourth century, St. Gregory the Theologian said that when we collected from Holy Scripture, from Tradition and the experience of the Church, everything that can be known about God and built all this into a holistic image, then, no matter how beautiful it was, we built an idol, because if we create the image of God and say: "Look, here is your God," we turn God into a Living, dynamic, non-post imaginable, infinite deep God into something limited, having a human scale. Everything we know about God belongs to yesterday, not today or tomorrow. I want to say by this that I cannot put before myself everything that I currently know about God in order to worship Him: this is the past, this is the line between my present and my future. The God before whom I stand in worship and prayer is the same God whose knowledge led me to Him, but I stand before a God still unknown to me. I do not need to turn back and look again and again into my memories of God: I am looking for a meeting with God, whatever He may be, I am standing in front of the mystery of God, and not in front of knowledge about Him, acquired with difficulty over the past centuries.

No matter how dear to us are the members of our family; no matter how precious everything in the world that fascinates and excites us: nature, music, literature, thought - we finally suddenly understand that behind all this there is one Love, one higher Love. God is Love, and this is the basis of everything. The union of religion and science can be likened to the union of love and reason. Love and reason always exist side by side in life, together, they side by side, but under the dominance of love. Love is not comprehended by the mind, but the mind needs to be enlightened by love. A person can sometimes find himself in a situation of conflict between love and reason. It is not difficult to find such examples in our life. Theology tells a person not about what he is in his empirical reality, but about how God conceived him and what God expects from him.

Our group Vkontakte: "Psychology of love"

If we carefully look into human life, we will certainly understand that it is manifested and controlled by love, which brings happiness and bliss, or self-love, which brings various disorders and suffering into life. It can also be seen that often these different properties of the human spirit, meeting in the life of one and the same person, as well as in the life of entire peoples, societies and families, are constantly at enmity with each other. If love wins in this struggle, peace, happiness, joy, contentment, bliss reign in life. But when pride prevails, disorder arises: enmity, struggle, hatred and malice.
In general, love pacifies everyone, unites, brings together, bestowing happiness without any dependence on material contentment and enjoyment of natural life. On the contrary, self-love, even with external well-being, always arouses discontent, instills anxiety and malice in the heart of a person, produces discord, divides peoples, societies, families. In a word, where love is, there is happiness and bliss, and where pride is, there is evil and suffering.

Love from a Christian Perspective

Our Lord Jesus Christ left us two main commandments on which the entire Law of God is based, namely, the commandments about love:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.
Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37 and 39).

What is love? The Holy Fathers give this definition: God is Love. Therefore, all the love of the whole world is God.

Our human language is extremely limited and poor. We are not able to express clearly enough and definitely the whole endless range of personal and mutual feelings between people, starting with natural, natural love and ending with the perfect love of Christ, which we usually include in one word love. This word contains many different concepts and feelings that cannot be expressed in words, and only some epithets help us clarify this word, for example: Christ's love, marital, for enemies - however, they do not give a sufficient definition of feelings.

Love: the etymology of the term

In the dictionary of the ancient Greek language, four verbs - ἐρᾶν, φιλεῖν, στέργεῖν, ἀγαπᾶν, as well as their corresponding names, serve to define the concept of love in a word. Two of them - φιλεῖν and ἀγαπᾶν are found in the Greek text of the New Testament. However, in order to understand the specifics of the word usage and semantics of these verbs in the language of Holy Scripture, we will first need to turn to their functioning in the classical language or, as it would be more accurate to say in relation to our topic, to the Greek language of the pre-New Testament period.

Ἐρᾶν

Ἐρᾶν, or, in poetic language - ἐρᾶσθαι means: to direct a holistic feeling to an object, to feel and perceive for its sake. This value is constant for all lexico-semantic variants. If the object is persons, then ἐρᾶν can mean:

1) Sensual love, which is unworthy when, for example, we are talking about adultery or when the whole content of the feeling is reduced to physical cohabitation.

2) A high degree of feeling, passionate love in a broader sense.

When it comes to inanimate objects, ἐρᾶυ is conceptually close to ἐπιθυμεῖν, so that it corresponds to Russian with the infinitive. want.

Φιλεῖν

Φιλεῖν - noun verb. Φίλος comes from the pronominal root. There is no convincing and absolutely impeccable etymology, but the origin from the root associated with the meaning “one’s own”, “own” is obvious.

About the meaning of φιλεῖν, first of all, it should be said that it most of all corresponds to Russian. be in love and has antonyms μισεῖν and ἐχθαίρεν. Φιλεῖν signifies in essence an inner inclination towards the face, and in some cases, where the presentation does not allow any obscenity, also sensual love.

But the main connotation of the meaning of this verb is the tendency to face, which stems from internal community, from personal communication. In Homer, we will find the meaning of “friendly support”, “friendly to communicate with someone”, “befriends”. Often in this sense it is used in relation to the attitude of the gods when they support people in their affairs. About people: kindly host others.

Already after Homer, the meaning of “kissing” developed (with and without the addition of τῷ στόματι), since this essentially means an external expression of the intimate community or closeness of lovers or friends.

With the addition of αυτόν φιλεῖν acquires the meaning of selfishness.

As a naturally developing feeling, φιλεῖν has no moral or moralistic connotation. With this love, a bad person can love a bad person, and a good person can love a good one. Here - inclination or adherence to any group, party, state, people in cases where it is not particularly deep and sincere (in the latter case, the Greek would use στέργεῖν).

With regard to inanimate objects, φιλεῖν means affection for objects, phenomena that are dear or dear to us, the possession of which or contact with which we are pleased. The lack of a moralistic connotation is maintained, and nasty and despicable tendencies are included here. With the infinitive, the meaning is very close to lat. solere - "to do willingly, to be in the habit." Φίλος - a friend, a person with whom we are connected by bonds of mutual love. The most characteristic of this word is just the shade of personal sympathy, inner inclination. Also φιλία is a friendly attitude, a gentle expression of the inner disposition of those who love.

Στέργεῖν

Στέργεῖν is etymologically close to the Celtic names for love: ancient irl. serc; Gallic serch; Breton. serc'h (concubine). It is also taken into account Praslav*stergti, *strego “guard”; i.-e.*sterg/sterk with alternating k/g.

Στέργεῖν does not mean passionate love or inclination, not an impulse towards an object that has taken possession of our heart and is the goal of our aspirations, but, on the contrary, a calm, constant, continuous feeling of a lover, by virtue of which he is aware of the object of love as closely belonging to him, closely connected with him. , and in this recognition finds peace of mind. Such is the love for parents, wife or husband, for children, for the closest relatives in general, and then for the leader, king, fatherland.

In στέργεῖν, a spiritual inclination is manifested, which is inherent in man by nature; this word refers to an organic, generic connection, which is not dissolved due to this innateness even by evil, and not to an inclination arising from communication with a person, a thing (φιλεῖν) and not to a passion breaking out and seeking satisfaction (ἐρᾶν). Because of this, when combined with the names of things or abstract concepts, στοργεῖυ retains a moral connotation. Along the same line of indissolubility, an innate emotional connection, the meaning “to be satisfied, to be satisfied, to be satisfied” arises. As Schmidt points out, στέργεῖν can mean "calmly and patiently resigning ourselves to the inevitable" (often in relation to the circumstances and things around us).

Finishing the analysis of the word usage στέργεῖν, it would be appropriate to cite Chantren's remark that “the semantic field στέργεῖν is clearly different from φιλεῖν and partially coincides with ἀγαπᾶν”.

Ἀγαπᾶν

Ἀγαπᾶν or, according to Homer, ἀγαπάζευν, first of all, means love arising from rational evaluation, therefore not passionate, like ἐρᾶν, and not tender love of children and parents, like στέργεῖν. In the common Greek usage of the verbs of love, ἀγαπᾶν expresses the weakest emotion, which is more in line with Russian. value, how be in love. Yes, this is understandable: the more reason is aware of sympathy or feeling, the less such love is immediate and internal.

Ἀγαπᾶν can even mean “correctly evaluate”, “not overestimate”. And since evaluation is based on comparison, and comparison implies choice, then ἀγαπᾶν includes the concept of freely choosing the object of the direction of the will. On the other hand, ἀγαπᾶν can also be said about those people who evaluate something (things, circumstances) as satisfying them and do not strive for anything else.

Let us dwell on the relationship between ἀγαπᾶν and φιλεῖν. The first verb, being more rational-moral, does not include the concept of action directly from the heart, which reveals an inner inclination, and, naturally, is devoid of the meanings “to do something willingly”, “to have a habit of doing something”, and also "kiss". Moreover, ἀγαπᾶν is not (like φιλεῖν) a propensity associated with the person himself, but rather with his attributes and properties. Aristotle explains it as follows (Rhet. 1, 11): “to be loved means to be valued for one's own sake,” that is, not for any external reasons, but precisely because of the very personality of the beloved. Thus ἀγαπῶν describes the qualities of a person, and φιλῶν describes the person himself. The first means that a person is aware of his inclination, the second means that it stems directly from communication. Therefore, in the first case, the feeling is colored morally, and in the second it does not have such a characteristic.

Based on the foregoing, we can conclude that the main meaning for φιλεῖν, with all the breadth of the semantic field of this word, was love of a natural inclination, a feeling that is not determined by either reason or the direction of the will - lat. amare, while the characteristic feature of ἀγαπᾶν was the designation of love as the direction of the will, as an inclination determined by reason and moral feeling: lat. diligere. Almost all researchers point to the similarity of the relationship between diligere and amare with the relationship that exists between ἀγαπᾶν and φιλεῖν.

Thus, the most characteristic features of the four verbs of love are as follows:

Ἐρᾶν refers to passionate love, expresses mainly its affective and sensual side; passion for things; with the infinitive - "to desire, to thirst." An emotion that certainly has a pronounced personal character.

Στέργεῖν is a continuous, internal, indissoluble, even through evil, feeling for persons or communities with which the subject has transpersonal, ancestral, and, from ancestral, social ties.

Ἀγαπᾶν - “appreciate”; a feeling that comes more from the corresponding assessment of the mind, it is not strong and not tender, but rather dry. In the circle of meanings value⇒ compare⇒ to choose implies love as the direction of the will determined by reason. The same is true of circumstances: to be satisfied with them as a result of the ability to evaluate through comparison.

Φιλεῖν - here we give a description of Fr. P. Florensky: “1. The immediacy of origin, based on personal contact, but not due to organic connections alone - naturalness; 2. Direction to the person himself, and not just an assessment of his qualities; 3. The quiet, sincere, non-rational nature of the feeling, but at the same time not passionate, not impulsive, not unrestrained, not blind and not stormy. 4. Proximity and, moreover, personal, internal.

Abstract nouns, in the words of Schmidt, show "extremes of meaning." In the most general form, the following correspondences can be proposed: ἔρως - passion, στοργή - affection, φιλία - affection. ἀγάπη will be discussed below.

Love in Scripture

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another” (John 13:34). But after all, the world knew about love, about the value and height of love even before Christ, and don’t we find those two commandments in the Old Testament - about love for God (Deut. 6:5) and about love for one’s neighbor (Lev. 19:18), about which the Lord said that the law and the prophets are established on them (Matthew 22:40)? And what, then, is the novelty of this commandment, novelty, moreover, not only at the moment the Savior pronounces these words, but also for all times, for all people, a novelty that never ceases to be novelty?

To answer this question, it is enough to remember one of the main signs of Christian love, as it is indicated in the Gospel: "love your enemies." Do we remember that these words contain nothing but an unheard-of demand for love for those whom we just do not love? And that is why they do not cease to shock, frighten and, most importantly, judge us. True, precisely because this commandment is unheard of new, we often replace it with our crafty, human interpretation of it - we are talking about patience, respect for other people's opinions, about forbearance and forgiveness. But however great all these virtues may be in themselves, even their totality is not yet love.

Only God loves with the love that is spoken of in the Gospel. A person cannot love like that, because this love is God Himself, His Divine nature. And only in the Incarnation, in the union of God and man, that is, in Jesus Christ, the Son of God and the Son of Man, this Love of God Himself, it is better to say - God Himself Love is revealed and bestowed on people. This is the novelty of Christian love, that in the New Testament man is called to love with Divine Love, which has become the love of the God-man, the love of Christ. The newness of Christian love lies not in the commandment, but in the fact that the fulfillment of the commandment has become possible. In union with Christ in the Church, through the Sacraments and His Body and Blood, we receive His Love as a gift, we partake of His love, and it lives and loves in us. “The love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Rom 5:5), and we are commanded by Christ to abide in Him and in His love: “abide in Me, and I in you<…>for without me you can do nothing<…>abide in my love" (Jn 15:4-5,9).

To abide in Christ means to be in the Church, which is the life of Christ communicated and bestowed upon people, and which therefore lives by the love of Christ, abides in His love. The love of Christ is the beginning, content and goal of the life of the Church. It is, in essence, the only sign of the Church, for all the others are embracing: “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (Jn 13:35). In love - the holiness of the Church, because she "is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit." In love - the apostolate of the Church, because she always and everywhere is the same single apostolic union - "bound by the union of love." And "if I speak with tongues of men and angels<…>If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries, and have all knowledge and all faith, so that I can move mountains, but do not have love, then I am nothing. And if I give away all my possessions, and give my body to be burned, and have no love, it profits me nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3). Therefore, only love imparts reality and significance to all these signs of the Church - holiness, unity and apostolate.

But the Church is a union of love, not only in the sense that in her everyone loves one another, but above all in the fact that through this love of all for each other she reveals Christ and His love to the world, testifies of Him, loves the world and saves it. the love of Christ. She loves in Christ - this means that in the Church Christ Himself loves the world and in it "each of these little brothers." In the Church, each one mysteriously receives the power to love all with "the love of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:8) and to be the bearer of this love in the world.

This gift of love is taught in the Liturgy, which is the sacrament of love. We must understand that we go to the Church, to the Liturgy for love, for that new God-human love of Christ Himself, which is given to us when we are gathered in His name. We go to church so that Divine love “is poured out into our hearts” again and again, so that we “put on love” again and again (Colossians 3:14), so that always, constituting the Body of Christ, forever abide in the love of Christ and show it to the world . Through the liturgical assembly, the Church is fulfilled, our communion with Christ, with His life, with His love, is accomplished, and we constitute "we many, one body."

But we, weak and sinful, can only want this love, prepare ourselves to receive it. In ancient times, those who quarreled had to make peace and forgive each other before taking part in the Liturgy. Everything human must be fulfilled so that God can reign in the soul. But let us just ask ourselves: do we go to the Liturgy for this love of Christ, do we go like this, hungry and thirsty not for consolation and help, but for the fire that burns all our weaknesses, all our limitations and poverty and illuminates us with new love? Or are we afraid that this love will really weaken our hatred of our enemies, all our "principled" condemnations, differences and divisions? Do we not too often want peace with those with whom we are already at peace, love for those we already love, self-affirmation and self-justification? But if so, then we do not receive this gift, which allows us to truly renew and eternally renew our lives, we do not go beyond ourselves and do not have a real participation in the Church.

Let us not forget that the exclamation "Let us love one another" is the initial action of the Liturgy of the Faithful, the Eucharistic rite. For the Liturgy is the sacrament of the New Testament, the Kingdom of love and peace. And only having received this love, we can create the remembrance of Christ, be partakers of flesh and blood, look forward to the Kingdom of God and the life of the future age.

“Achieve love,” says the Apostle (1 Cor 14:1). And where can we achieve it, if not in the sacrament in which the Lord Himself unites us in His love.

Love for your neighbor

How does the idea of moving away from people fit in with the commandment to love your neighbor? Is there not in this flight from people, which is characteristic of such pillars of monasticism as Arseny the Great, an flight from Christ himself, who commanded “to love your neighbor as yourself”, and does this kind of self-isolation lead to the loss or absence of love for people?

Isaac, at any rate, is convinced not. On the contrary, moving away from people leads to the acquisition of love:

That commandment, which says, “Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, above all things in the world, and matter, and all things material,” is fulfilled when you patiently abide in your silence. And the commandment to love your neighbor is contained in it. Do you want, according to the gospel commandment, to acquire love for your neighbor in your soul? Get away from him, and then the flame of love for him will kindle in you, and you will rejoice at the sight of him, as at the sight of a bright angel. Do you also want those who love you to yearn for your sight? Have a date with them only on certain days. Experience is truly a teacher for all.

It is obvious that Isaac is not here giving recommendations that apply to all people in general, but speaks of his own experience - a hermit by vocation - and the experience of hermits of his time. We are talking about a specifically monastic experience of acquiring love for people as a result of refusing, at least at times, from communication with them.

For those who are far from monastic life or who know about it only theoretically, from books, it is not easy to perceive this kind of experience. The paradox of this experience lies in the fact that, moving away from the world, hermits do not turn away from people, and even when they literally “run around people”, they serve people with their flight. Being engaged in the salvation of his own soul away from people, the hermit contributes to the salvation of others. Twelve centuries after Isaac the Syrian, another great monk will express what has always been an axiom of monastic work: “Acquire a spirit of peace, and thousands around you will be saved.” Isaac is convinced that the main business of a monk is to purify his inner man: this is more important than communication with people and any activity aimed at the benefit of others. Such activity is especially dangerous if the soul of the hermit has not yet been purified and the passions have not yet died in it. There were many people, - says Isaac, - who became famous for their activity in external good deeds, but because of their constant presence in the thick of worldly affairs, they did not have time to take care of their own souls:

Many performed miracles, raised the dead, labored in the conversion of the erring, and performed great signs; by their hands many were brought to the knowledge of God. And after all this, they themselves, who gave life to others, fell into vile and vile passions, killed themselves and became a stumbling block for many ... because they were still in mental illness and did not care about the health of their souls, but set off into the sea of this world to heal souls others, while still weak themselves, and have lost hope in God for their souls. For the weakness of their feelings was not able to meet and endure the flame of that which usually excites the ferocity of passions ...

Isaac does not deny good deeds, but only points out the need to become spiritually healthy before going out into the world to heal others. A person will bring much more benefit to others when he himself reaches spiritual maturity and receives the necessary experience of the inner life. The depth of the inner life cannot be replaced by outer activity, even when it comes to apostolic ministry, which is so necessary for others:

It is a wonderful thing to teach people goodness and by constant care to lead them from error to the knowledge of the truth. This is the path of Christ and the apostles, and it is very high. But if a person, with such a way of life and frequent communication with people, feels that his conscience is weakened by looking at external things, his silence is broken and his knowledge is darkened ... and that, wanting to heal others, he destroys his own health and, leaving his own freedom of will to his , comes into confusion of the mind, then let him ... turn back, so as not to hear from the Lord what is said in the proverb: Physician, heal yourself. Let him condemn himself and take care of his health, and instead of his sensual words, let his virtuous life be instructive, and instead of the sound from his mouth, let his deeds teach. And when he finds out that his soul is healthy, then let him benefit others and heal them with his health. For when he is away from people, then he can do more good to them by zeal for good deeds than he could do with words, when he himself is still weak and more than they need healing. For if the blind lead the blind, both of them will fall into the pit.

Thus, one must first heal one's own soul, and then take care of the souls of others.

love in marriage

The topic is very important for discussion: a lot is written about it, books are published, and the opinion is heard very often that. But one cannot agree with this, because childbearing cannot be the goal of a Christian family. Because then the Christian family cannot differ in any way from the Muslim family, from the Buddhist family, from the atheistic family, from the family of some wild tribes.

There is some kind of substitution here, because childbearing is not the goal. Childbearing is the nature of marriage.

The purpose of marriage, especially a Christian marriage, can only be love, which leads the spouses to the Kingdom of Heaven, love, which makes the two into one being. Let the two be one in the flesh - this indicates not only that two spouses are united in intimate intercourse, but also that the two become one being in the sacrament of marriage. Intimate relationships are not exclusively a means of reproduction. Intimate relationships are an important component of married life, which make the relationship of two people filled with tenderness, awe, delight.

Unfortunately, it is too often heard that the sexual desire is connected with the consequences of the fall.

But everything that is connected with man today is connected with the fall, for example, hunger, cold, etc. Including sex drive. But this does not mean that the sexual desire itself was impossible before the fall. If the world was originally created bisexual, then there must be a desire of the sexes to each other. If even in Paradise the commandment “be fruitful and multiply” was given to man, then without the attraction of one to the other, this commandment would be completely unrealizable.

Or another thought: intimate relationships are supposedly some kind of indulgence for human nature, which keeps it from fornication. In this case, marital relations are reduced to some kind of primitive relationship between two loving people who are terribly sinful, so sinful that they just have to get to some kind of disgrace. In order not to commit adultery, one must have a spouse, but in order not to kill, what should one do? To not steal? To not lie?

In one of the monastic courtyards of Moscow, the priest - it was, of course, a hieromonk - in a Sunday sermon, and in the presence of Sunday school children, he gave advice with the meticulousness inherent in the Marquis de Sade, on what days and hours, up to minutes, the spouses have the right to THIS , and at what time - they don’t have it at all, and from what minute it becomes a sin. But you need to know for sure - the Church has no right to crawl into bed and give any recommendations! The priest should step aside and say to the couple, "This is your life."

Or here I came across the student almanac of the Orthodox missionary "Vocation" number one, p. 65, in which the candidate of theology advises spouses to take the example of intimate relationships with animals.

I quote: “In highly developed animals, tribal life and the instinct of procreation occupy a very important place, but at the same time, physiological relationships are seasonal in nature, they completely stop with the birth of cubs, and animals completely switch to caring for offspring. Some animals, such as wolves and raccoons, can serve as an instructive example of parental love and marital fidelity for other church-going Orthodox. Yes, animals also experience carnal joy and some inspiration during the mating season, but male tournaments during the mating season never end in someone's death, and from unrequited love, animals do not run away to the ends of the world and do not commit suicide. What about people?”, the author asks.

Here you are laughing, but this is not funny. It's wild! A candidate of theology, a person invested with a holy dignity, is moving all this schizophrenia to the masses. And it's at every turn. Precisely because the Church is still silent about this. And there are no answers to these questions, and no one is looking for them. These questions have not yet been raised.

What is the most important thing in marriage? When people unite for love, they do not consume each other, but on the contrary, they give themselves to each other, and this, it seems to me, is the main function of marital relations. Do not consume, do not devour each other, do not squeeze the maximum for yourself personally, because then there is no question of any love, because then a person uses the other.

Around today, everyone uses each other, but Christians do not use each other, our principle is self-giving. No one in a marriage - neither a man nor a woman - can demand from another such things that can bring a certain burden to the beloved. One is inferior to the other, that's the only way! Very soft, intimate, not like you owe me, you owe me.

Films about Pravmir:

Archpriest Alexy Uminsky. About love, sex and religion

Bishop Panteleimon (Shatov) about love

Archpriest Andrei Lorgus. About love, sex and religion

Archpriest Maxim Pervozvansky. save love

About the holiday of family, love and fidelity

Saint Theophan the Recluse on the topic of love and relationships: “For love for others, God forgives the sins of the one who loves.”
Georgy Zadonsky: “Do we really have such a commandment to be loved? We have a commandment that we love."
In one ancient prayer there are such wonderful words: “Lord, make me worthy to understand and not seek understanding, console and not seek consolation, love and not seek love.”
Monk Simeon Athos: “To love is the highest feat, and to hate is the greatest crime.”
Monk Simeon of Athos: "Not the wise one who judges everyone, but the one who loves everyone."

Priest Alexy (Yang) on the topic of love and relationships: “Men often complain to priests that their wives do not love them. And then the priest learns that a man does nothing to be loved, just waiting for love, like some kind of idol, waiting for sacrifice and worship. Such husbands should understand that the only way to earn the love of a spouse is to love yourself, because in life we usually get in return what ...

If you want to win a friend, win him after a trial and do not trust him quickly.

There was a time when, when I came to visit my friend Father Protodeacon, I constantly argued with his wife about whether love at first sight was possible. And although I am not a fan of controversy, in this matter I firmly stood my ground: "No, it is impossible." Mother, on the other hand, had the opposite opinion, based on her own family experience, and said that she and her future husband fell in love at first sight once and for all.

These questions: does love exist from the first meeting, is love possible before marriage, what is love and is it love - indeed, many people are concerned. Let's try to figure it all out.

So, can there be love at first sight, and is true love even possible before marriage? Let's rephrase the question as follows: can there be friendship at first sight? After all, friendship and love are very similar concepts, ...

There are many rules, permissions and prohibitions in Orthodox Christianity. But in the pursuit of complying with the formal requirements of the Christian religion, people who call themselves "believers" often forget the basic meaning of Orthodoxy: GOD IS LOVE. The Lord God is able to forgive any sins, provided that a person sincerely repented and repented of his deed to the depths of his soul, if a person really loves God, other people, if at least one spark of love glimmers in him ... My beloved grandmother, God rest her soul, loved repeat that you should not be afraid to ask the Lord God for what you want, and if the desires are pleasing to God, then He will definitely hear your prayers and help. And the most important thing in the world is not money, not fame, not power, but peace, joy and peace of mind. Money, power, beauty, youth, fame, things, influential acquaintances - this is all temporary, superficial, passing by. And only sincere affection, called love, has eternal meaning, it is always relevant, it is always in the heart, it ...

Question: “The worldly definition of love is known. How would you define this concept from a Christian point of view? Is it a property or a feeling?

Alexey Ilyich Osipov, Professor of the Moscow Theological Academy, answers:

Why should I decide? The Apostle Paul says enough about what love is. He tries to define what cannot be put into words. It must be understood that such things cannot be defined in words. I often give the simplest example: try to explain to a person who has never seen red in his life, what it is. What will you tell him? The most you can do is hit the C-sharp key on the piano and say, "That's red." “Ahhh… Is it red? Thank you. Understood".

Such things can only be known through experience. They can only be experienced, otherwise they must be described. The Apostle Paul writes: “Love is long-suffering, kind, love does not envy, love does not exalt itself, is not proud, does not ...

Being in love, or “romantic love,” is not at all the kind of love that Christianity speaks of as the highest virtue. However, it is this love-love that is perceived by young people as a very important, bright, unique, piercing feeling, a mixed and incomprehensible emotion.

The problem of love as a “romantic relationship between a man and a woman”, which certainly precedes the creation of a family and continues to exist already within the framework of a family union, was hardly raised by Christian philosophers. The Holy Fathers approach this issue with extreme chastity. In their understanding, love, even love between a man and a woman, is primarily spiritual Christian love, it is sacrifice, mercy, patience, forgiveness. However, a young man or girl (even from Christian families), discovering for the first time an interest in the opposite sex (experiencing what is traditionally called “first love”), these feelings and emotions can hardly be directly linked constructively with those ...

The Art of Loving
Erich Fromm
THE ART OF LOVE
Is it necessary to learn to love?
Is love an art? If yes, then it requires knowledge and effort. Or maybe love is a pleasant feeling, which is a matter of chance, something that falls to a person in case of luck. This little book is based on the first premise, although most people today are undoubtedly on the second.
It's not that people think love is unimportant. They crave it, they watch countless films of happy and unhappy love stories, they listen to hundreds of stupid love songs, but hardly anyone really thinks there is any need to learn about love. This particular attitude rests on several premises which, individually and in combination, tend to contribute to its maintenance.
For most people, the problem of love is to be loved, and not to love, to be able to love. So the essence of the problem for them is...

Is it possible to truly love and be loved?

Good afternoon, dear visitors of the Orthodox website "Family and Faith"!

What is love, from an Orthodox point of view, between a man and a woman? It is love, for the family, for marriage, when the marriage is happy, and not falling in love, cohabitation, etc. How is love given by the Lord, for what, and is it possible to truly love and be loved by a simple sinner?

Every person wants to be loved, respected, cared for, understood. The desire of a person to create a family is embedded in him by God: “And the Lord God said: It is not good for a man to be alone; Let us make him a helper suitable for him. The Lord God formed from the earth all the animals of the field and all the birds of the air, and brought [them] to the man to see what he would call them, and that whatever the man called every living soul, that was its name. And the man gave names to all the cattle and the birds of the air and...

M.V. Ivanov: Christian Love

Dear visitors of the site "Word for You",

We continue to publish articles by Mikhail Vyacheslavovich Ivanov. We plan that the articles will be published regularly, every Saturday. Follow our updates.

Christian Love

Every born-again Christian surely knows the two commandments of the Lord Jesus Christ: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength" and "thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" (Mark 12: 30-31). However, many believers have very rough ideas about the nature of Christian love. Very often, even experienced Christians, when thinking about love, are influenced by secular ideas or their own immature judgments formed in the first years after spiritual conversion.

We know that in modern society, the word "love" can have many meanings: sublime feeling, romantic affection, ...

Hello, Elena!

The desire of a man for a woman and a woman for a man is a gift from God given to Adam and Eve in Paradise along with the commandment to be fruitful and multiply. However, after the fall, human feelings changed, acquired a more passionate, biological character.
To whom exactly the feeling will be directed is a matter of a person’s free choice.
At the same time, one must understand that one can use such a word as “love” in relation to a man and a woman only clearly remembering that there are different types of love. Those quotes that you cite, of course, do not refer to the relationship between a man and a woman, but to God's love. Between people, such a height of relations is possible only as a result of many years of joint work of two loving hearts.
What we call unrequited love is actually, as a rule, falling in love. And due to unrequitedness, this is usually falling in love with one's own image of a real person, whom we actually do not know very well. To such love...

Orthodoxy, marriage, "sex", love, family, betrayal, divorce

The Bible says that God created woman as a helper for man. And in our country, women have forgotten their subordinate place in the family and in society: it seems to me that because of this there are so many problems!

This is how it happens in life: due to arrogance and ignorance, something “seems” - and this, indeed, causes a lot of problems!

What does the Church really say about the equality of men and women?

“In the pre-Christian world, there was an idea of a woman as a being of a lower order in comparison with a man. The Church of Christ has fully revealed the dignity and vocation of a woman, giving them a deep religious justification, the apex of which is the veneration of the Most Holy Theotokos ... From the very beginning of the existence of the church community, a woman actively participates in its dispensation, in liturgical life, in the labors of mission, preaching, education, charity .

Highly appreciating the social role of women and…

Marriage is a Sacrament that sanctifies the union of a man and a woman, into which they freely enter, promising to be faithful to each other. This Sacrament sanctifies family life, the birth and upbringing of children.

The very division of people into male and female indicates that they are created to complement each other. And, from the point of view of the Orthodox Church, the natural mutual love of a man and a woman is a living image of holy Love that unites people with God and with each other.

Holy Scripture and Holy Tradition are replete with images of earthly bisexual love, which explain the love of God for the Church and man and the love of the Church and man for God. The Church and the individual human soul in their relation to God are constantly likened to the bride, virgin, beloved and wife, and the Lord is likened to the Bridegroom, the Beloved, the Husband. And marriage and the wedding feast serve as images of the high states of religious life. And this is not accidental, since the similarity between the mutual love of a man and a woman with the highest levels of spiritual love is very deep. AND…

So what is love according to the Bible

Paul is clear about it. Love is giving yourself to another person. It is not receiving something from another person, as the world teaches today. These are not lusts and feelings, not something over which a person has no power. It's an action, an act. It is impossible to love in the abstract. Love is a relationship that is realized in something materially tangible, which really takes place in real life. Notice that Christ, having loved His Church, gave Himself for it (Eph. 5:25). John. 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son...". In Gal. 2:20 we read the words of Paul: "I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Christ said: “If your enemy is hungry, give him something to eat; if your enemy is thirsty, give him something to drink. Do good to those who hate you." Love is, first of all, not feelings, but giving oneself to other people. Feelings will come...

I want to consider one of the main and very common trends in the topic of consideration by modern Orthodox priests (and not only) of the issue of falling in love. I do not claim that ALL Orthodox figures look at this issue in this way, but "there is such a topic." I am talking about the Orthodox view, because although I read a little Catholic literature, for example, on this topic, I did not meet such an attitude towards falling in love, there was more about something else. Although on this issue both Catholics and Orthodox have many points of contact.
From time to time I watch and study videos with the participation of Orthodox priests on the topic of marriage, love and falling in love, and this is what they say.
1. Orthodox people look and should look at love with sobriety, sobriety with caution. Sobriety is an interesting concept. This is an analysis of my thoughts, states, as I understand it. Avoidance of evil.
2. Falling in love and the person himself is sometimes compared with an animal with this love of his.
3….

Journey into the depths of the human psyche Journey to the depths of oneself promises to be very interesting, it helps to become oneself, to know real feelings, to achieve complete peace and unearthly joy. Why is it that not everyone dares to take this journey? And what can we expect along the way? February 27, 2017

Love that solves all problems Which of the…

Love in the 21st century is an unanswered SMS
(Frederic Begbeder)

What is love? Such a question was asked in life, at least once, perhaps, by everyone. And, perhaps, anyone capable of thinking could get confused and lost when hearing and pronouncing the word "love." Because the range of use of the concept is truly enormous. There is a huge range of situations in which we can talk about love, a range of relationships, shades of feelings, actions. Due to the varied and sometimes conflicting uses of this word, some of us may feel uncomfortable saying this word out loud, as we may not feel very comfortable talking about something that is elevated to us, in the same words that we used to say. just about his liking for fried potatoes. In fact, after hearing the text of a pop song telling about another huge love that is not served to us too believably, as if they say that once again they looked not too burdened ...

dispensationalism
Conservatism Liberalism

Love as a Christian virtue (in the New Testament, the Greek word "agape", Greek. αγάπη , lat. caritas) - love without reason, reason, self-interest, capable of covering any shortcomings, misconduct, crimes. One of the three main virtues of Christianity along with faith and hope.

Essence

In its essence, it resembles paternal (maternal) love for a child whom the parent continues to love and participate in his fate no matter what.

But unlike parental love, Christian love does not depend on family ties, as well as on age, gender, difference in social status, etc.

Encourages to serve a person, there is a desire to help, protect, fill any need, regardless of one's own interests.

« For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life"(John 3:16)" I give you a new commandment, that you love one another; how I have loved you”(John 13:34) Christian love for a person is given from above, it cannot be fully experienced without the supernatural influence of the Lord Jesus Christ (hence the name).

The concept of divine love

Christianity distinguishes between divine love and human love. Human love after the fall is seen as imperfect, infected with selfishness and sin.

Divine love is one of fundamental and the most important concepts of Christianity. It is inextricably linked with the basic principle of God the Creator - the principle of freedom. God the Creator, who created the universe, created everything that exists in it free, that is, having the right to determine their will. This is how the world was created, including man (the act of creation is described in the first book of the Bible - "Genesis"). Freedom is grace gift God the Creator to each of his creations, having the right to be (exist) independently of the Creator, and at the same time uniting with Him. This form of connection (co-creation) is called Divine love. Divine love is the desire to be (exist) not for personal good, but for the good of another, and therefore Divine love is inseparable from freedom, because in free choice and an act of Divine love is manifested.

According to Christian teaching, the observance of the fundamental principles “love your enemy”, “love your neighbor as yourself” leads a person to Divine love.

Concepts of Christianity related to the concept of Divine love

According to Christian doctrine, God is love. (1 John 4:8)

If I speak in human and angelic tongues, but have no love, then I am a ringing copper or a cymbal that sounds. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries, and have all knowledge and all faith, so that I can move mountains, but do not have love, then I am nothing. And if I give away all my possessions and give my body to be burned, but I do not have love, it does not profit me at all. Love is long-suffering, merciful, love does not envy, love does not exalt itself, is not proud, does not behave violently, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; covers everything, believes everything, hopes everything, endures everything. Love never ceases, although prophecy will cease, and tongues will be silent, and knowledge will be abolished.

Love for God arises from the realization of who God is. This feeling can begin to develop on the basis of gratitude to God, when a person realizes how the Lord loves him, what God has done for him personally and for all mankind as a whole:

This is love, that we did not love God, but He loved us and sent His Son as a propitiation for our sins.
Beloved! If God so loved us, then we must also love one another.

Love for neighbor is inextricably linked with love for God:

Let us love Him, because He first loved us.
Whoever says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?
And we have such a commandment from Him, that he who loves God love his brother also.

Love for God and neighbor is the fruit of the Holy Spirit:

Love for God in the Bible

Hear, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one;
and love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength.
And let these words which I command you today be in your heart

So love the Lord your God, and keep what He commanded to keep, and His statutes and His laws and His commandments all the days.

Teacher! what is the greatest commandment in the law?
Jesus told him: love the Lord thy God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind:
this is the first and greatest commandment;
the second one is similar: love thy neighbor, as himself;
On these two commandments all the law and the prophets are established.

Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and whoever loving begotten loves the one who is born of Him.
That we love the children of God, we learn from when love God and we keep His commandments.
For it is love for God that we keep his commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome.

What is Christian love? Orthodox parish of the Church of the Assumption of the Mother of God in Kamyshin, Volgograd diocese of the Russian Orthodox Church - Edges of Love.

Our group Vkontakte: "Psychology of love"

Love from a Christian Perspective

Love: the etymology of the term