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The wedding ceremony of our ancestors of the Slavs. Slavic pagan wedding

For a long time, it is the wedding that is considered the most important event in life. Our ancestors created a family, adhering to traditions and strictly observing special rules. Echoes of the wedding ritual traditions of Russia are also present in modern marriage.

The traditions of the wedding ceremonies of the Slavs date back more than one century: our ancestors followed the rules very carefully. Starting a family was a sacred and meaningful act that took an average of three days. Since that time, wedding signs and superstitions have come down to us, in Russia, passed down from generation to generation.

Wedding rites of the ancient Slavs

For our ancestors, the wedding ceremony was an extremely important event: they approached the creation of a new family very responsibly, hoping for the help of the Gods and fate. The word "wedding" itself consists of three parts: "swa" - heaven, "d" - an act on earth and "ba" - blessed by the Gods. It turns out that historically the word "wedding" stands for "an earthly act blessed by the Gods." From this knowledge, the ancient wedding rites originated.

Entry into family life is always primarily aimed at the continuation of a healthy and strong family. That is why the ancient Slavs imposed several restrictions and prohibitions on creating a new couple:

the age of the groom must be at least 21 years old;
the age of the bride is not less than 16 years;
the family of the groom and the family of the bride should not be related by blood.

Contrary to popular belief, both the groom and the bride were rarely given in marriage or married against their will: it was believed that the Gods and life itself help the new couple find each other in a special, harmonious state.

Nowadays, a lot of attention is also paid to achieving harmony: for example, more and more people are starting to use special meditations to attract love. Our ancestors considered dance to be the best way to harmoniously merge with the rhythms of mother nature.

On the day of Perun or on the holiday of Ivan Kupala, young people who wanted to meet their fate gathered in two round dances: the men led the circle “salting” - in the direction of the sun, and the girls - “anti-salting”. Thus, both round dances went with their backs to each other.

At the moment of convergence of the dancing guys and the girl who collided with their backs, they were taken out of the round dance: it was believed that the Gods brought them together. Subsequently, if the girl and the guy were in love with each other, the bride was arranged, the parents got to know each other, and if everything was in order, the date of the wedding was set.

It was believed that on the day of the wedding, the bride died for her family and its guardian spirits, in order to be reborn in the groom's family. This change was of particular importance.

First of all, the wedding dress spoke about the symbolic death of the bride for a kind: our ancestors adopted a red wedding dress with a white veil instead of the current translucent veil.

Red and white in Russia were the colors of mourning, and the thick veil that completely covered the bride's face symbolized her being in the world of the dead. It could only be removed during the wedding feast, when the blessing of the Gods over the young had already been completed.

Preparation for the wedding day for both the groom and the bride began the night before: the bride's friends went with her to the bathhouse for a ritual bath. Under bitter songs and tears, the girl was washed with water from three buckets, symbolically indicating her presence between the three worlds: Reveal, Navi and Rule. The bride herself had to cry as much as possible in order to receive the forgiveness of the spirits of her kind, whom she was leaving.

On the morning of the wedding day, the groom sent the bride a gift that meant the fidelity of his intentions: a box with a comb, ribbons and sweets. From the moment the gift was received, the bride began to change clothes and prepare for the wedding ceremony. While dressing and combing, the girlfriends also sang the saddest songs, and the bride had to cry even more than the day before: it was believed that the more tears shed before the wedding, the less they would be shed during married life.

Meanwhile, the so-called wedding train was gathering in the groom's house: wagons in which the groom himself and his team went to fetch the bride with gifts to her friends and parents. The richer the groom's family, the longer the train should be. When all the preparations were completed, the train went to the bride's house with singing and dancing.

Upon arrival, the bride's relatives checked the groom's intentions with questions and comic tasks. This tradition has been preserved in our time, turning into a "ransom" of the bride.

After the groom passed all the checks and got the opportunity to see the bride, the wedding train, together with the young, the squad and relatives, was sent to the temple. They always went to him on a long road, covering the bride’s face with a thick veil: it was believed that at that time the future wife was half in the Navi world, and it was impossible for people to see her “fully alive”.

Upon arrival at the temple, the sorcerer, who was waiting for the young, performed the rite of blessing the union, thereby confirming the harmony in the couple and sealing the oath of the young before the Gods. From that moment on, the bride and groom were considered family.

After the ceremony, all the guests, led by a married couple, went to a feast in honor of the wedding, which could last up to seven days with interruptions. During the treat, the young received gifts, and also repeatedly presented their guests with belts, amulet dolls and coins.

In addition, within six months of family life, the new family, having appreciated the gift of each guest, had to pay a return visit and give the so-called “gift” - a return gift worth more than the guest’s gift. By this, the young family showed that the guest's gift went for the future, increasing their well-being.

Over time, unshakable wedding traditions have undergone some changes caused by migrations and wars. The changes took root and brought us the memory of Russian folk wedding rites.

Russian folk wedding ceremonies

With the advent of Christianity in Russia, wedding ceremonies have changed radically. For several decades, the ceremony of blessing the Gods at the temple turned into a wedding ceremony in the church. People did not immediately accept the new way of life, and this directly affected the holding of such an important event as a wedding.

Since the marriage union was not considered valid without a church wedding, the wedding ceremony consisted of two parts: a church wedding and a ritual part, a feast. "Magic" was not encouraged by the highest church ranks, but for some time the clergy participated in the "non-wedding" wedding part.

Just like the ancient Slavs, in the tradition of the Russian folk wedding, traditional customs were preserved for a long time: matchmaking, bride and collusion. At the general bridegroom, held at the festivities, the groom's family looked after the bride, inquiring about her and her family.

Having found a girl of suitable age and status, the groom's relatives sent matchmakers to the bride's family. Matchmakers could come up to three times: the first was to announce the intentions of the groom's family, the second was to look at the bride's family, and the third was to get consent.

In the event of a successful matchmaking, bride-to-be was appointed: the bride's family came to the groom's house and inspected the household, making a conclusion: will their daughter live well here. If everything was in order and met their expectations, the bride's parents accepted the invitation to share the meal with the groom's family. In case of refusal, the matchmaking was terminated.

If the bride-to-be was successful, then the groom's parents came with a return visit: they personally got acquainted with the bride, observed her housekeeping skills and communicated with her. If in the end they were not disappointed in the girl, then the groom was brought to the bride.

The girl had to appear in all her outfits, to show how good she is as a hostess and companion. The groom also had to show his best qualities: on the evening of the “third wedding”, the bride in most cases had the right to refuse the groom.

If the young people were able to please each other and did not object to the wedding, their parents began to discuss the material costs of the wedding of their children, the size of the dowry of the bride and gifts from the groom's family. This part was called “handshaking”, because, having agreed on everything, the father of the bride and the father of the groom “beat hands”, that is, they sealed the contract with a handshake.

After the completion of the contract, preparations for the wedding began, which could last up to a month.

On the day of the wedding, the bridesmaids dressed her in a wedding dress to lament about her girlish cheerful life. The bride had to constantly cry, seeing off her girlhood. Meanwhile, the groom with friends came to the bride's house, preparing to buy his future wife from her family and friends.

After a successful ransom and symbolic tests of the groom, the young people went to church: the groom and his friends set off noisily and with songs, and the bride went separately, on a long road, without attracting much attention to herself. The groom certainly had to arrive at the church first: in this way, the future wife avoided the stigma of the “abandoned bride”.

During the wedding, the bride and groom were placed on a spread white cloth, sprinkled with coins and hops. Also, the guests closely followed the wedding candles: it was believed that whoever holds his candle higher will dominate the family.

After the wedding was over, the couple had to blow out the candles at the same time in order to die on the same day. Extinguished candles should be kept for life, protected from damage and lit for a short time only during the birth of the first child.

After the wedding ceremony, the creation of a family was considered legal, and then a feast followed, at which the ritual actions of the ancient Slavs were largely manifested.

This custom existed for a long time, until it changed into modern wedding traditions, which nevertheless retained many of the ritual moments of ancient weddings.

Ancient wedding ceremonies

Many people in our time are not even aware of the sacred meaning of the familiar moments of any wedding. Instead of an authentic ceremony at a temple or a wedding in a church, which has been mandatory for a long time, now there is a state registration of marriage, followed by a banquet. It would seem that this is left of the ancient way of life? It turns out, a lot.

The tradition of exchanging rings. The exchange of rings has existed for a very long time: even our ancestors put on each other a ring as a sign of union before the Gods in heaven and on earth. Only in contrast to the modern custom to wear a wedding ring on the right hand, earlier it was worn on the ring finger of the left hand - closest to the heart.

A wedding is an exciting event for all participants, and a Slavic wedding or even just a wedding in the Slavic style can become an unforgettable, high celebration. Some of the customs of the Slavic wedding are known to everyone - for example, the wedding train, which used to be called the squad, or the presence of a loaf - ritual cookies. A well-known ritual of a Slavic wedding is the laying of an embroidered Slavic towel on the ground, showering the young with hops and rye “for good luck”, a rich feast. And yet there are traditions of the Slavic wedding, which must be remembered and explained. About this - in the article.

According to many sources of ancient chronicles, we know that the Slavic wedding itself began long before its celebration. It all started with matchmaking - a kind of agreement to create a family union, concluded not only between a guy and a girl, but also their parents. In this action, it was important to obtain the two-sided consent of the parents to the young people's decision to get married.

Customs, rituals and traditions of the Slavic wedding

Shortly before the wedding, it was customary to visit the graves of deceased relatives and friends. It was assumed that in this way the future husband and wife receive a blessing from their ancestors. This action is to feel the relationship with the Family Tree. This is very important for the prolongation of the family, when the newlyweds want someone from the family of the husband or wife to be embodied in their family. Such a close relationship with the ancestors was important for the Slavs of ancient times.

Also, before the wedding itself, it was customary to arrange stag and hen parties, which are popular even in modern wedding traditions.

bachelor party(young man, or the groom's party) is not so much a tradition as a rite. It could be followed either the day before the wedding, or a few days before the wedding, which begin from the days of the handshake (betrothal, engagement, or zaruchina). The peculiarity of the bachelor party lies in the ritual feast with their peers and friends who are unmarried. This is a farewell to carelessness, single life, festivities and "free will". Rituals can be expressed in mysteries - theatrical performances, games with masks on the face, riddles, fairy tales and fun.

hen-party(girl's evening, evening, or bride's party) is a ritual pastime of the bride with her unmarried girlfriends, which takes place either on any day from the day of the handshake, or the day before the wedding itself. This is the time when the bride says goodbye to her girlhood, an easy and simple life, where she was not previously required to have great responsibility and independence. All Russians and Slavs know about fun and festivities on such a day. However, in the Russian North, a bachelorette party does not begin with fun at all - here you can find crying, lamentations, poetic regrets. So they see off girlhood and say goodbye to him forever.

Vyunishnik(juniny, bypass rite, vyushnik or hailing of the young) is a bypass rite when the wedding time is marked by congratulations, round dances, magnifications, honoring the young who entered into a family union during the current year. This rite completes the long period of the post-wedding period of time. The Slavic wedding was not a matter of one day, but of a whole period, important for all its participants, and not just for the young. The rite of bindweed or wreath helped the newlyweds to move from one social status to another, from unmarried to married.

Slavic towel and other attributes

Slavic towel is one of the main attributes of the wedding of the Slavs. It is the protection of the family and is passed down from generation to generation. There are about 40 different types of such towels, and all of them are a reflection of different Slavic cultures. Stepping on an embroidered towel spread on the ground means magically protecting your young family with the power of both clans, as well as future descendants of the new family.

Loaf- This is a baked bread made from sweet dough with various decorations on it, also made from dough (curls, flowers, braids, leaves). It symbolizes a rich life, prosperity for a young family. With the help of a loaf, a ceremony was also performed that united the bride and groom with the gods, giving people the opportunity to feed themselves on earth. For example, there was reverence for Mother Earth and Father Heaven.

Rings symbolized the Sun, a connection with the solar symbolism of the Slavs. They are also symbols of love, unity, fidelity and harmony.

Wreath- part of the Slavic paraphernalia, symbolizing for a young couple the eternal love and power of the Sun, hidden in herbs and flowers.

Homespun towel with which the hands of the bride and groom are tied.

Modern wedding in Slavic style

The traditions of the Slavic wedding are not fully fulfilled now, of course. But weddings in the Slavic style are gaining popularity. Today they lay a towel on the floor in marriage salons, bake a festive ritual loaf, young people put on rings. The bride can put on a wreath of herbs and flowers, or the newlyweds put on woven headbands, and the bride can wear a Slavic-style dress embroidered with protective embroidery.

A sorcerer or priest is invited to such a wedding, who pronounces praises to the Gods, honors the ancestors of the two families of the bride and groom, and solemnly combines the couple into a union. The action takes place in the bosom of nature. After the wedding, the guests shower the newlyweds with grains of wheat, "knobs" of real hops.

Despite the lost traditions, the Slavic wedding still continues to exist in different cultures and peoples of the Slavs. It is now possible to thoroughly repeat the entire ritual of such an event if you put together all the pieces that have been preserved in the annals and legends. But it is necessary to take into account the peculiarities of the cultures of the southern, western, eastern and northern Slavs. They can be very different in some ways even with regard to weddings.

They lit the first fires in the village, which means the night is close. Yarina is restless in her soul, rushing around her room, like a beast in a cage. And after all, any other girl in her place would go crazy with happiness, and she would roll her eyes languidly. Today they will come to Yarina to marry, but she does not know what to do. On the one hand, look and Gorislav is dear to her. The first fellow in the village, broad in the shoulders, and with hair darker than a raven's wing. And the look, as if living amber burns in it. The forge has its own, the house is bright and large, and more cattle. All the village girls throw themselves at such a groom, but Gorislav does not see anyone. Doesn't even smile once. Gloomy and serious, he walks all the time, he never came to the gatherings to the river, he didn’t even jump over the fire. And he is older, and as high as a rock. Yarina was still quite a girl, and Gorislav shunned. A little envious in the distance, he walks, so immediately run and hide. And hide, so she began to peep. She liked to watch Gorislav work in his smithy, how his strong and swarthy hands, with fire, how they treated a small child. Yarina sat like a mouse, she was even afraid to breathe. And she also saw how this gloomy blacksmith smiled, so that it was as if the sun had peeked out from behind the clouds for a moment. He smiled only in his forge, as if he was afraid that someone would see him. Gorislav sunk into the heart of little Yarina, and when her sixteenth spring came, the blacksmith found her hiding place. How ashamed she was then, Yarina had never blushed like that. And the blacksmith looked at her with his amber eyes and smiled. He told me to go home, and no longer sneak up like a thief, but come as a welcome guest. Since then, it has become a habit that Yarina will run away from her mother, but she will immediately go to the forge. He sits in a corner and is silent all evening. He watches how the fire in the furnace dances, how the hammer falls heavily on the red-hot iron. Gorislav furtively looks at his guest, but smiles in his thoughts. Curious Yarina, self-willed, with a completely intractable disposition, but so kind, sincere that it is impossible not to fall in love with her. So Gorislav fell in love with her, and said that he would come to woo. Something in my heart is restless. And she is waiting for her betrothed, and she is afraid that he will come. Mother said that this is how all the girls worry, they are afraid to leave their father's house. Yes, but it’s not that Yarina is scared, but what if Gorislav turns out to be harsh, but she starts to forbid everything, for example, to dance or laugh. Married girls, all the gloomy ones are sitting at home, and they don’t sing at all. Yarina does not want such a life.

She heard how they entered the upper room. So the wedding has begun. And not only Gorislav came, but faithful friends. He hears how the father asks the blacksmith about everything. Yarina almost does not breathe, she knows that her father likes such a groom. And she can’t sit still, that’s why, without permission, she bursts into the upper room like crazy. He sees no one, except for Gorislav, and the one who is spellbound is standing, but only looking at her. Suddenly, as she breaks away, she wraps her big arms around her little one and says:

- Don't be afraid, dear. I will love you with all my heart. I will die for you and I will live for you. You will live with me as a free bird. You will not, like your married friends, walk gloomy and unfriendly. You will sing so that your voice sounds ringing in my house. I want you to smile and laugh like a little child, carefree.

Yarina listens to the quiet voice of Gorislav, the beating of his heart, and all the worries go away. She has nothing to fear now with such a fiancé. He loves her, and she loves him. Let only the priest appoint a wedding as soon as possible, so that the whole village walks, drank hops and danced round dances. Yarina wants others to be happy with her too. And I thought that it would be better for Gorislav to come to her in the afternoon to woo her, so that everyone could see what an enviable husband she would have now. It is unsuitable for such a person to come at night, but in the dark, because no one will refuse such a groom.

The ancient Slavs took all important events very seriously. Each holiday was preceded by a series of preparations. Each action had its own secret meaning, absolutely everything was interconnected. There were no empty dances and songs, behind every step, behind every lunge of the hand, and the sound, there was a message to space, to higher powers. The ancient Slavs believed in the flow of forces, in energy, so they took each step very deliberately. What can we say about the wedding. Firstly, no one made such a step out of the blue, even contrary to feelings. The universe is in no hurry. The lovers took this step for a long time, however, like their parents. Creating a family was considered one of the most important actions in a person's life. Two destinies and two lives were connected forever. The family in the view of the ancient Slavs was an unbreakable bond. Even after death, the souls of the spouses continued to remain connected. So it was in all worlds and dimensions. Therefore, it is not surprising that such a serious step required complete confidence on the part of the young in each other and their own feelings, as well as a number of rituals to tie together the life streams of future spouses.

Let's start with the name of the wedding festival itself. In the old days it was called Lubomir. There is no need to guess at all in order to understand what meaning is invested in this name. Love and Peace are fundamental concepts in the view of the ancient Slavs. The combination of the male and female divine principles gave birth to the universe, this was due to love. In nature, everything is arranged in such a way that different polarities attract, and as a result, something new happens. This attraction for our ancestors was love - the desire for a new life. The union of a man and a woman predicted the emergence of a new life and the accomplishment of the main mystery of the universe. Therefore, the marriage itself was called Lubomir, two people created their own world and became creators like gods. By the way, this name had three different meanings: it was a holiday that was celebrated every year, and a wedding ritual, and marriage itself. Lubomir was strong, and was created for life. There were few opportunities to terminate it, except perhaps the death of one of the spouses, or some other reason out of the ordinary. This testifies to the extremely serious attitude and respect of the ancient Slavs to the institution of marriage and family.

In the old wedding ceremonies there was no hint of fights, drinking and other indecencies. Our ancestors did not drink alcohol in any form. All rituals were performed in a sober mind, and for fun the ancient Slavs did not have to drink. Looking at how weddings are celebrated today, the author desperately wants to return to the pagan past. The ancient Slavs both sang and danced, and arranged various games and competitions, and did not dishonor themselves with indecent behavior. It is very important to remember this, because our ancestors considered Lubomir a spiritual triumph, and first of all, everything was done to please the soul, and then the body. That is, the meaning of the wedding was not to eat to satiety, get drunk to the green devils, and then bawl obscene ditties at the top of their lungs.

By the way, the tradition with wedding rings existed in the old days, only it was more multifaceted and complex. There was no such thing that the guy just came to the bride’s house and, to the screams and cries of the guests, put a ring on the narrowed finger. Both sides have been carefully preparing for this action since adolescence. As soon as a boy or girl turned twelve, well, a maximum of sixteen, they began to wear a silver ring. Silver because, firstly, this metal was considered the most sacred and pure among the ancient Slavs, and secondly, our ancestors believed that it was silver that could fully absorb all the energy of a person. So, when the betrothal was carried out (by the way, it is worth noting that the very name of this action comes from the word “hoop”) the bride and groom exchanged rings. But contrary to today's traditions, the rings were not worn on the hands, but hung around the neck, closer to the heart. With such an engagement necklace, the betrothed had to pass from sixteen to forty days (apparently the sorcerer made the decision on the period). This time was allotted so that the young could absorb the essence and energy of their loved one. The engagement, by the way, could take place alone away from prying eyes, or in the presence of family and friends. In any case, both families knew about what was happening, and parental blessing on both sides was considered a necessary factor for the engagement. On the day when Lubomir was celebrated, the bride and groom put new rings on each other, which were made by the master of the family. The new ring was worn on the ring finger of the right hand. Old rings were returned to their original wearers and put on the ring finger of the left hand. Thus the spiritual circle between the spouses closed, hand to hand.

The wedding feast was not accompanied by such stupid rituals as a ransom. Lubomir, as mentioned earlier, had a spiritual purpose, and such base and pitiful concepts as money simply could not be there. Of course, the future head of the family should have been able to support his wife and children, but in no case did this become a determining factor, they say, whoever is richer, we will give our daughter to him. The man himself, his spirit, his will, and his actions were much more valued. The groom could even take part in specially arranged competitions with the brothers, father, or other relatives of the chosen one. It could have been battles, though they fought with wooden guns so as not to injure or kill someone inadvertently, but the struggle was in full force. So the physical fitness of a man was tested, because he had to be able to protect his family from physical threats. They often had a joint hunt to check how successful and skillful the groom is. The girls also had to sweat a lot, because they had to go through competitions with the female half of the groom's family. Appreciated knowledge in needlework, cooking and maintenance of the economy. Of course, the ability to sing and dance was also encouraged, but the woman was primarily interpreted as the mistress and keeper of the hearth, I am not like a singer and dancer. Of course, modern women will only snort at all these facts, but before people had a completely different way of thinking and understanding of female and male destiny. The author will not judge what is bad and what is good, but will only say what is good when everything has its place and purpose. Everything is the will of heaven.

The reader may ask, what is a holiday without a round dance?! Of course, it was also on Lubomir, and not simple, but very special. In the evening, when the main part of the celebration was over, people moved closer to water bodies, to the river, for example. A fire was lit there. Usually two bonfires were bred for the youth. One of them was intended for the round dance of girls, and the second for the round dance of young men. It is worth noting that the movement of the girl's round dance took place in the direction of the sun. It was called salting. But the round dance of young men moved in the opposite direction, that is, in anti-sun. Even here, the sacred meaning of the understanding of the feminine and masculine principles by the ancient Slavs is hidden: the masculine principle rebels against nature, and it is characterized by the manifestation of strength and aggression, while the feminine principle, on the contrary, creates and multiplies. The combination of these two principles gives balance and true unity, everywhere complementing each other. The bonfires themselves, around which round dances were held, were arranged in such a way that at one, a certain point, the dancers touched each other with their backs. The sorcerer gave a sign and the round dances froze for a moment, in such a way that upon contact, the young man always found himself opposite the girl. It was these two who were taken out of the round dance, then the movement resumed and moved smoothly until the next pair formed again. There were to be nine such pairs. Then, the girls and boys were placed so that they touched with their backs. Then they had to pronounce the name of all three worlds (that is, Yav, Rule and Nav) and then turn their heads. If both turned their heads in the same direction, it was believed that there was a spiritual connection between such people. This did not mean that the young man and the girl had to get married, but it could be the denominator of friendship, spiritual union and patronage, as between a brother and sister.

Pre-wedding and wedding ritual

Each ritual in the wedding procession had its own strictly allotted time and turn. In general, the whole celebration with all the ensuing preparations stretched for a couple of months. Each locality had its own unique customs and nuances, but in general, all rituals were divided into two types: pre-wedding and wedding. The first group included the following events: matchmaking, bride-to-be, betrothal, loaf baking, bachelorette party and valiant evening. Let's look at each of them in more detail.

Matchmaking.

When the bride was chosen, and the feelings were checked, it was the turn to get acquainted with the chosen one's parents and ask for their consent. Before that, of course, the groom announced his intention to his parents. They usually came to woo with the onset of the evening, until the very night. There was an intention here, if the groom was given a lapel - a turn, then he could leave the girl's house unnoticed. This would not cause unnecessary gossip and gossip. Here, concern was shown not only for their own position, but also for the position of the girl. Usually the groom was accompanied by two of his closest and trusted friends. They had to apply all their skills and abilities in order to win over the owners of the house. First, the conversation took place with the girl's parents, so that they could appreciate the groom. Only after his candidacy had been previously approved by the household, the girl herself was called in for a conversation and her opinion was asked. Note to modern young ladies from the author - the girls were asked for opinions, which means they appreciated them as a person, and there were no misogynists. Of course, the opposite certainly happened, but in most cases the girl, if desired, could refuse marriage if the young man was not nice to her.

Smotriny.

After the matchmaking and reaching agreement on the part of the bride and her parents, it was the turn of the groom and his family to appear in a favorable light. Parents and close relatives gathered and went to visit the groom's house. Of course, it is not worth denying that this campaign had a material background. The girl's parents had to make sure that the groom was a working man who could support his family in the future, despite all the difficulties. The young man should already have his own household. It is impossible and not worth accusing our ancestors of commercialism, because you will not be full of kisses under the moon.

Betrothal.

After the matchmaking and the bride-to-be, it was necessary to make it clear to those around, in particular to the rest of the young men and women in the settlement, that the bride and groom were no longer free for unnecessary antics and frivolities. The groom, along with his family, gathered and went to the bride's house, where, according to custom, a table rich with treats was set. The bride and groom were seated together, and their hands were tied with towels. This meant the betrothal itself, after that it was no longer possible to refuse the wedding, without bringing shame on the family. Moreover, the refusing party had to pay the second family for the so-called "moral damage".

Loaf baking.

Loaf is generally a symbol of Slavic hospitality. Here, the most respected and long-awaited guests are still met like this - with a loaf and salt in their hands. The loaf was a symbol of home and comfort. No wonder that the future hostess should have been able to bake this muffin. Our ancestors turned loaf baking into a real sacred ritual. It took place in the bride's house, where all married relatives gathered. Their number must have been odd; according to the beliefs of our ancestors, this was a lucky omen. They baked a loaf, accompanying it all with songs and dances. In a word, the Slavic woman arranged gatherings (oh, these women, just give them a reason).

Bachelorette party and evening of well done (bachelor party).

Before the day of Lubomir, the bride and groom gathered their closest friends to spend the last day of their old, single life. It was a kind of farewell to childhood, youthful carelessness and lightness. The family did not mean fetters for the ancient Slavs, but it was regarded as a huge responsibility that required no small courage and fortitude. It was a spiritual maturation for the spouses, and such last evenings are a way to say goodbye to the past and start a new round in your life.

So, all pre-wedding preparations ended. By the way, during all this time, both the bride and groom were required to fast in order to cleanse the body and spirit before starting family life. The wedding itself, that is, Lubomir, consisted of several stages. Let's consider each of them in more detail.

Dressing.

In the morning, after the ritual bath, the bride and groom in their homes put on new clothes, mostly white, with many embroideries, amulets, from all sorts of dark forces and misfortunes. Such clothes were usually made by women themselves from young families. The girl's dress had to be long, floor-length, with wide sleeves. A scarf made of dense fabric was put on the bride's head. All this strictness in clothes spoke of the virginity and purity of the girl (yes, yes, virginity was considered one of the most necessary qualities for a girl).

Requests, or an invitation.

Basically, this was done by friends of the future newlyweds. They invited guests and relatives to the feast. There was a custom when the bride gave gifts to the guests.

Escort of the groom and ransom of the bride.

Parents "chased" their son out of the house so that he would bring his bride. As for the ransom, everything is rather ambiguous here, since some sources claim that such an event was not held on Lubomir.

Posad.

The name of this ritual comes from the word "plant". When the groom came with his family to the bride's house, they were seated at the table, and members of both families exchanged gifts in honor of intermarriage.

Wedding.

The word itself comes from the word "wreath". The sorcerer, in the presence of both families, friends and relatives, performed a ritual to unite the bride and groom, and at this time wreaths were put on their heads. Usually the wedding took place in the temple of the goddess Lada, or in the temple of the god Svarog. However, this is not surprising, because who can bless the newlyweds better than the Forefather and Foremother of the universe themselves ?! Friday, Saturday and Sunday were considered the best days for a wedding.

Coating.

This was the most important stage in Lubomir. After the wedding, a scarf was removed from the bride's head and some kind of headdress was put on. Before that, the braids of the now young wife were untwisted, in some corners, the braids were completely cut off. This action took place in the father's house, after which the husband took his newly-minted wife to his house. The new headdress meant a new status and new responsibilities for the girl. Now she was leaving her father's clan and becoming a member of her husband's clan. Even in the event of a marriage breaking up, a woman could no longer return to her old family, as she was no longer part of it.

Transfer of dowry.

For each girl from childhood, her family prepared a dowry - something that could be useful to a young mistress in a new house. Everything of value could act as a dowry: money, cattle, a piece of land, bedding, furniture, and much more. After the wedding, all this became the property of the husband, as well as his house, the property of his wife. Such an equal exchange took place among our ancestors, and not a hint of miserable commercialism.

After wedding rituals

After the wedding, their rituals were carried out. On Monday morning, after the wedding night, it was customary to hang out the bride’s shirt on the porch, on which there should have been traces of viburnum, that is, blood (something smacks of the “Clone” series, there this shirt was generally dragged around the city with screams and dances) . In honor of this, the groom's mother presented her now daughter-in-law with an elegant scarf and a red belt, which was a symbol of a married woman.

A month later, after Lubomir, in order to help the new hostess get used to someone else's house, they arranged a new feast where the families and relatives of the newlyweds gathered. Such a feast was called Kalachins, because on this day it was customary to give kalachi to each other. Such a feast could be held both in the groom's house and in the bride's house.

The time for holding Lubomir was usually chosen in the spring, or early summer. But nevertheless, the kind of action of the bride and groom played here as a decisive factor. For example, it was easier and more convenient for soldiers to arrange a celebration after making a military round and participating in battle. Farmers played a wedding after the harvest. That is, a time was chosen when the families had a good income for the wedding ceremony, because it required no small expenses. For example, before the wedding itself, there was a tradition of giving gifts to all loved ones, and this was done repeatedly. The gifts themselves were prepared by the mothers of the young. These were mainly scarves, belts, rag dolls, small change and so on. This action emphasized the readiness of the girl and the boy to create a new family that would be independent and wealthy. But, it also meant a kind of invitation to a new family circle, and the provision of trust. All the main costs lay on the shoulders of the families of the future spouses. Guest gifts were not evaluated as an opportunity to pay off expenses. On the contrary, when the guest's gift was evaluated, the bride and groom certainly had to present this guest with a more expensive gift. This emphasized the principle of "our people", for whom it was not customary to count.

In conclusion, the author would like to say to all readers - if you love, then love with all your heart and without a doubt. It doesn’t matter who you are and where you come from, you and I may have different roofs over our heads, and different words in our heads, but love is inevitably the same for everyone. Believe what you believe in with your soul, do not set limits for yourself, think, but with your heart, and then you will find your own path, along which you will go hand in hand with your own soul. Love and prosper, my dears!

Slavic wedding video

Wedding customs of the Slavs

Very little is known about the wedding rites of the ancient Slavs. Almost all the data available to modern science are based on ethnographic materials.

In chronicles, in particular, in the "Tale of Bygone Years", two different types of marriage are mentioned, characteristic of different Slavic tribes. So, the chronicler writes about glades: “The glades have the custom of their fathers meek and quiet, bashful in front of their daughters-in-law and sisters, mothers and parents; before mothers-in-law and brothers-in-law they have great modesty; they also have a marriage custom: the son-in-law does not go for the bride, but brings her the day before, and the next day they bring for her - what they give.

Among the Drevlyans, according to the chronicler, "marriages ... did not happen, but girls were kidnapped by the water." The Radimichi, Vyatichi and Northerners also did not have marriages, but “games were arranged between the villages, and they converged on these games, on dances and on all sorts of demonic songs, and here they kidnapped their wives in collusion with them; And they had two and three wives.

The still preserved expression “to get married around a birch” quite accurately conveys the meaning of the wedding ceremony of the ancient Russians. The wedding consisted of the worship of Lada, Rod and Triglav, after which the sorcerer invoked a blessing on them, and the newlyweds walked around the sacred tree three times, calling the gods, churs and shores of the place where they were as witnesses. The wedding was necessarily preceded by a conspiracy or kidnapping of the bride. The bride was generally obliged to go to a new clan, as if by force, so as not to inadvertently offend the guardian spirits of her clan (“I don’t give out, they lead by force”). By the way, many hours of sobs and mournful songs of the bride are connected with this. At the feast, the newlyweds were forbidden to drink (it was believed that they would be drunk from love).

wedding feast

The newlyweds spent the first night on distant sheaves covered with furs (a wish for wealth and many children).

In later times, the wedding customs of Ancient Russia have changed, but they also show how attentively and carefully our ancestors treated the holiday of creating a new family.

Gradually, the religion and life of the ancient Slavs became more complicated, more and more new deities and traditions appeared, new rites were borrowed. The kidnapping of the bride is still preserved, but it has become more of a rite, which, as a rule, took place by agreement of the parties.

K. Lebedev. Dance. 1900

Some historical sources tell of polygamy, which was common among the ancient Slavs. Polyandry was also practiced, but much less frequently. There were also various forms of the so-called trial marriage, when the bride moved to the groom's house, and the wedding was played only after the birth of the child. If the marriage failed, the woman returned to her parents. Marriage was mandatory: single people were ridiculed. An exception was made only for those who had taken a vow of celibacy.

In the Slavic tradition, there was a strict observance of the order of marriage. It is well known from folklore that the youngest daughter could not marry before the eldest. A very big rarity was a wedding with a widower (widow). It was believed that widowed people would unite in the afterlife with their first chosen one. Therefore, widowers and widows often entered into marriages with each other.

Adultery was condemned and punished at all times. A man and a woman caught in vicious relationships were dressed in each other's clothes and taken through the streets to the amusement and ridicule of the crowd. For a divorce, it was required to publicly tear clothes, a belt or a towel over running water or at a crossroads.

The ring, a closed circle, is still considered a symbol of marriage today. In the old days, a young couple was circled around a tree or a house.

K. Lebedev. Boyar wedding. 1883

In the church, those who are getting married are led around the lectern. The bride's wreath, wedding loaf, round cake - all these are echoes of ancient traditions. All old wedding terms, one way or another, are connected with the ring, the circle. For example, “curled” (the headdress of a married woman), “vertch” (a type of wedding bread), “twist”, “twist” (change the bride’s hair and girl’s headdress for a woman’s), “okruta”, “wrap” (get married , marry) and "twisted" (love affair). We still say “twist the novel”, “she twisted it”, without even thinking that the roots of these expressions lie in the ancient wedding rites of the Slavs.

Historical documents and folklore have brought to us various ways of marriage. "The Tale of Bygone Years", dating from the beginning of the 12th century, tells about the "kidnapping" of the bride. More widespread was the unauthorized departure of a girl to her beloved or the staging of her abduction by prior mutual agreement. These methods in different sources had different names: “quiet” wedding, “self-propelled gun”, “withdrawal”, “steal”. All of them basically contained the voluntary consent of the bride to the marriage. But the most common way of concluding a marriage was considered "collusion", easier "matchmaking". Some traditions of "purchase and sale", the symbolic ransom of the bride, have been preserved in wedding ceremonies to this day. For example, the ransom of the bride from her brother or witnesses, or the symbolic sale of her braid. Various public confirmations of the intention to marry, say, a handshake in front of witnesses to the announcement of the engagement, and the subsequent wedding ceremony were a fact of public recognition of the marriage.

K. Makovsky. Down the aisle. 1884

According to the Slavic custom, the groom kidnapped the bride at the merrymaking, having previously agreed with her about the abduction: “I look like a merrymaking ... and that wife’s snitch, whoever conversed with her: the name is two and three wives.” Then the groom gave the father of the bride a wreath - a ransom for the bride.

The folk songs reflected the forced removal of the girl, so the groom and his relatives “got it” the most. That is why the groom's wedding boyfriend is often humiliated in songs, as, for example, in the very famous song "Druzhenka", which was sung to the witness at the wedding.

buddy

young friend,

Nice friend:

At our friend

Chiry on top!

young friend,

The friend is pretty.

There is fog in the yard

We have a bugger friend!

young friend,

Nice friend:

There's ice in the yard

To snuggle around for a friend!

young friend,

Nice friend:

There is a jacket in the yard,

We have a shirshak friend!

young friend,

Nice friend:

There's a hole in the yard

We have a drunk friend!

young friend,

Nice friend!

Russian people, we read in an old manuscript, generally got married quite early; it happened that the groom was only 12 or 13 years old. It should be noted that by doing this, the parents were in a hurry to remove the young man or girl from the temptations of a single life, since in general, according to the then concepts, forbidden love affairs were considered an unforgivable and inexorable sin and were put on a par with serious crimes. It rarely happened that a person remained unmarried, except because of illness or a vow to be tonsured in a monastery.

As already mentioned, it was generally not customary for a man to remain unmarried. Parents, having decided to marry their offspring, consulted with their closest relatives and often did not tell the groom about it; having chosen a family with whom they were not ashamed to have a family relationship, they sent a matchmaker or matchmaker to the parents of the bride for a preliminary explanation.

If the bride's parents were against matchmaking, they referred to the young age of their daughter and said that it was too early for her to marry. When they agreed, they did not hurry, referring to the fact that they would consult with relatives, and appointed a day for a decisive answer.

If both parties came to an agreement, then the matchmaker asked the bride's parents for permission to look at the "goods". This was not always allowed. It also happened that permission was not given, sometimes out of arrogance, and sometimes because of the disgrace of the bride. But more often it happened that the parents agreed to show the bride, and then the mother of the groom or the caretaker came. The groom still did not see his bride.

The bride's show took place in different ways. From time to time the caretaker was led into a cleaned room, where the bride stood in her best attire, with her face covered with a veil; from time to time the bride sat behind a curtain, and the curtain was drawn back when the caretaker approached. The caretaker walked around the room, talking to the girl, trying to find out if she was smart, if she was good, if she was not tongue-tied, and if her speech was in order in everything. It used to happen that if the parents' daughter-bride is a freak, then they showed the youngest daughter, or even a maid. Since the groom did not have the right to see the bride before marriage, he was obliged to be content with the information that the caretaker reported. He learned about the deception only after the wedding.

For this, the husband, to console himself, beat his wife, so other suitors, feeling enough strength and significance in themselves, insisted to the bride's family that he be allowed to see the bride himself, and the parents allowed it if they valued the groom. But then this groom could no longer refuse the wedding. To see the bride and renounce her was considered a dishonor, and the bride's parents could report the groom to the spiritual authorities and involve him in trouble.

Family life did not always work out, but it was not accepted to argue with the will of the parents.

“But I didn’t marry myself:

Good people spoke to me

I was captivated by my dear aunt

Yes, dear aunt, yes, dear

mother."

Matchmakers were usually elderly men and women, often relatives. In the villages, matchmakers went to the bride in new clothes, or at least cleanly washed, with a towel over their shoulder. All their actions were subject to a strict code: how to bow to the bride's parents, how to greet and speak to them. If the matchmakers were invited to the table, it means that it became possible to come to an agreement. As soon as the bride appeared before the matchmakers, she became a "conspirator".

Matchmaking

“Oh, yes you are a mountain ash, yes you are a mountain ash,

Oh, yes, you are curly-haired garden,

Oh you, when did you grow up, when did you grow up?

“Oh, yes, I grew up in the spring,

grew up in the summer.

“Oh, when did you grow up, when did you mature?”

“Oh, yes, I was ripe, I was ripe in the sun,

Yes, in the sun, yes, everything in the dawn.

“Oh, when are you, why early

leaned over?"

“Oh, I didn’t lean myself,

Oh, yes, the deep snows tilted me,

The snows are deep, the winds are violent.

“Oh, yes, you are a maiden, maiden, why are you early

did you get married?"

“Oh, yes, I’m not myself, I myself got married,

Yes, sir father wooed me,

My dear mother indulged me,

Oh, yes, my sister indulged me,

Oh, yes, my brothers indulged me,

Oh yes, the first one is a sweet friend

Frosenka!"

Further along the rite, future relatives visited each other. It was the bride and conspiracy (handshaking). Even in the case when the relatives of the bride and groom knew everything about each other and were close friends, they were required to see and evaluate the bride and the groom's household.

The collusion day was appointed by the bride's parents. The groom's parents, the groom himself and his close relatives came to visit them. The bride's parents received the guests with honors, went out to meet them, bowed to each other to the ground, seated the guests in noble places in the front corner under the shrine, and themselves sat down near them. They were silent for a while, looking at each other. This was required by decency.

Later, either the groom's father or another close relative of the groom started the conversation: he told them why they had come. The bride's parents had to answer that they were happy about this visit. After that, a row record was written, where both parties decided: at such and such a time, the groom undertook to take such and such a wife, and her relatives were obliged to extradite her and give her such and such a dowry. The dates were different, depending on the incidents: from time to time marriages took place even a week after the agreement, and from time to time several months passed between the agreement and the wedding.

Then they agreed on the day of the wedding and agreed on who to invite. Collusion, that is, "hand-beating" (or "drinking"), was considered the final decision, and to refuse it in the future was considered a shame for both the groom and the bride.

Looks, conspiracy

“You are geese and swans,

Have you flown far?

"Already we flew, flew

From sea to sea."

“What did you see there?”

"We've seen, we've seen

White swan in the backwaters.

"Why are you her

Didn't you take it with you?"

"Even though we didn't take it,

We spotted her -

The right wing was broken.

"You are boyars, boyars,

Have you traveled far?"

"Already we went, we went

City to city."

“What did you see there?”

"We've seen, we've seen

Red girl in the tower.

"Why are you her

Didn't you take it with you?"

"Even though we didn't take it,

We entrusted her

For bail for strong,

For castles and for the faithful.

The bride, surrounded by friends and marriageable girls, had to prepare a dowry, showing what kind of needlewoman she was. In fact, the dowry was prepared long before the wedding, almost from an early age. The pre-wedding week ended with a bachelorette party. So the bride said goodbye to her home and family and became a member of another family. Now she is a "young woman", because her girlish age is over and the womanhood has come.

A. Korzukhin. Hen-party. 1889

In folk wedding ceremonies, girlhood is spoken of as beauty, with which the girl parted completely and irrevocably. Moreover, beauty for the bride is not just a designation of girlish charms, but also a girlish honor and will, young carefree years. Among various nationalities, such allegories were embodied through a specific object: either this is a bride's headdress in the form of a brocade bandage embroidered with ribbons, or a ribbon.

hen-party

You are girlfriends, my doves,

Braid my hair

At the root, it’s a little small for me;

In the middle of my blond braid

Weave a silk gaitan;

At the end of my blond braid

You knit a scarlet ribbon;

You lock with a golden lock,

And you throw away my golden keys

To mother in a fast river.

Nikita was a fisherman

He cast a silk net,

He is from edge to edge;

He was pummeling those golden keys.

He recognized these golden keys:

“Isn’t it from Vera’s fair-haired braid?”

Unlock my rus scythe,

And he will take me.

The rite of farewell to girlhood was accompanied by the unweaving of the bride's braid and the last braiding of her girlish. The very word “bachelorette party” suggests that only girls took part in it, but at the end of the ceremony, guys and the groom could also come to the bachelorette party.

The bride tried on outfits, showing off them to her friends at the “bachelorette party”.

The wedding dress of an ancient Slav was a complex costume with several obligatory details: a shirt, a pony, an embroidered belt and jewelry. The shirt was usually white, but there was a red pattern along the hem, sleeves and neck. Also, multi-colored stripes were sewn to the shirt, thereby enriching the color scheme of the outfit. The patterns repeated the traditional Slavic sign of the sun, a symbol of fertility and life.

Poneva is a Slavic prototype of a women's skirt. It was more saturated in color than the shirt, and had a lush, feminine shape. It was also embroidered with ornaments: rhombuses and symbols of the sun.

The belt for the wedding dress was made of wool. It was narrow in width, but it could turn around twice. It looked beautiful on the chest of a gaitan - an ornament made of beads. In some parts of Russia, the place of the wedding dress was occupied by a sundress, richly decorated with embroidery and beads made of freshwater pearls. Sometimes self-woven lace went along the edge of the sundress, they were also called "kisei".

The day before the wedding, the future mother-in-law bakes a kurnik, sending it to the groom's house. The groom sends a live rooster to the bride's house.

On the eve of the wedding or on the day of the bachelorette party, the bride was taken to the bathhouse, where ritual songs were also sung. On the morning of the wedding day, the groom informs the bride to prepare for the wedding. The bride's parents spread a fur coat on the bench, put their daughter on it and begin to dress in a wedding dress. As soon as they are dressed, they send a messenger to the groom.

Before the wedding day, the groom was also escorted to the bathhouse, and in the morning they prepared for departure: the groom got dressed, received a parental blessing and collected the wedding train. All the responsibilities for the wedding were assigned to the boyfriend, who had to know the order of the wedding celebration well. Druzhka most often appointed one of the older relatives of the groom. The wedding train did not move in a straight line to the bride's house, but by detours to confuse the dark forces that could interfere with the wedding. With the groom, in addition to the boyfriend, the thousandth, or senior best man of the groom, and the poezhans, or boyars, that is, accompanying, went. The wedding procession was decorated with flowers and ribbons. The number of carts had to be more than three, and, in addition, it was not allowed to travel with an even number of wagons or sledges.

When the morning of the wedding day came, the bride's relatives had to wake her up, dress her, and together they expected the arrival of the groom. All these actions were accompanied by songs. The bride in her songs asked not to give her to the groom, and the bridesmaids sang about protecting the bride.

wedding day morning

Through meadows, meadows, green meadows,

By herbs, herbs, silk herbs,

Good horses are loose there,

Good horses the light of Vladimirov,

Good horses light Grigorievich.

Feet tangled in silk

Manes studded with pearls,

They stand by the grass - they do not eat grass,

They stand at the oats - the oats are not removed,

They stand by the oats - they don’t eat oats,

They stand by the water - they don’t drink water,

They stand by the water - they do not drink water.

They feel the distant service,

They sense a distant service.

Service the distant light of Vladimir,

Grigoryevich's distant light service:

Go to Moscow for gold.

Go to Moscow for gold

To Saratov - for silver,

To Alexandrovka - for the bride,

They drive up to the testin's yard,

To the wide tent of the bride,

To the wide tent of the bride.

They tried to decorate the bride's house so that it stood out from the others, and the groom did not accidentally pass by. For this, embroidered towels, ribbons, and so on were hung out. Before the arrival of the groom, messengers arrived and found out whether the bride was healthy and whether the groom could come. The groom was not allowed to ride in the first wagon. On the way of the train, fellow villagers put up barriers in front of which the groom had to pay off in order to pass.

When the train approached the bride's house, the relatives locked the gates, shutters and in every possible way "prevented" them from moving into the house. The groom could get inside only after a long verbal skirmish, persuasion and payoffs. In the hut, they also demanded a ransom from him. It could be a treat or small money, and the ransom had to be paid in order to climb a step, step over the threshold and find a bride.

K. Makovsky. Wedding boyar feast. 1883

After the bride was redeemed, a "small table" or a feast was arranged in the bride's house for the groom's relatives.

The arrival of the groom, the table in the house of the bride

Loach twines above the water,

The bridegroom at the gate flatters,

He asks for his own, his narrowed,

He asks for his own, his mummers;

They brought him a good horse:

"This is not mine and is not narrowed,

It’s not mine and it’s not dressed up!”

Loach twines above the water,

The groom at the porch is flattering,

He asks for his own, his narrowed,

He asks for his own, his mummers;

They brought him that clear falcon,

Brought to him on his right hand:

"This is not mine and is not narrowed,

It’s not mine and it’s not dressed up!”

Loach twines above the water,

The groom is waiting at the table

He asks for his own, his narrowed,

He asks for his own, his mummers:

"Give me my betrothed!"

They brought him a red girl-soul:

“This is my betrothed,

This is mine, my mummers!”

The bride, covered with a veil or veil, was taken to the table, while she or her friend lamented and “cried”. Then the young people went to get married, but certainly in different carts and in no case in the first. The young people traveled together only after the wedding. On the way, they could also be demanded a ransom, in addition, it was again necessary to confuse the traces of evil forces and scare the latter away with noise and shouting.

At this time, the groom's mother prepared the marriage bed in the crate: first she laid sheaves (21 in number), over the featherbed and blanket, and threw a marten fur coat or marten skin (or weasel) on top. Near the bed tubs with honey, barley, wheat, rye were placed. Having prepared everything, the future mother-in-law walked around the bed with a rowan branch in her hand. 21 sheaf means "fiery passion" (triple seven, the number of Fire), the marten fur coat was supposed to magically kindle the passion of the bride, just like the skin of a marten or weasel. The rowan branch serves, firstly, as a kind of cleansing agent, and, secondly, as a sign of fertility.

The word "wedding" itself means covering the head with a wreath (crown). Before the wedding, the place of the groom was occupied by a younger brother or teenager, a relative of the bride, from whom the groom had to buy a place next to the bride. The rite is called "selling the sister's braid." Near the bride, “eyes” also sit down - two relatives of the bride, most often sisters or sisters (that is, cousins). They help the bride throughout the wedding. Each of the "peepholes" holds in their hands a dish tied with handkerchiefs with the ends down. In one dish there is a scarf, a warrior, a comb and a mirror, and in the other - two spoons and a loaf of bread.

After the ransom, the bride and groom, holding a lit candle in their hands, went to the temple or the sacred oak. Dancers walked ahead of them, behind them they carried a loaf, on which lay pieces of silver. Behind the young showered carried a bowl of hops, grain and silver. The matchmaker showered the bride and groom from the bowl. The guests wished the bride as many children as there are hairs in a sheepskin coat. After such wishes, the matchmaker graciously showered the guests as well.

Previously, the priest used to marry, take the bride by the hand, entrust her to the groom and order them to kiss. The husband covered his wife with the hollow of his dress or cloak as a sign of patronage and protection, after which the priest gave them a cup of honey. Standing in front of the altar, the husband and wife took turns drinking from the cup three times. The bridegroom splashed the remnants of honey into the altar and threw the bowl under his feet, saying: “Let those who will sow discord among us be trampled under their feet.” Whoever stepped foot on the bowl first, according to legend, became the head of the family.

After the wedding, the ceremony of unweaving the bride's braids was performed. A girl's headdress was removed from her, her hair was twisted, that is, they made a woman's hairdo.

Further, the young people come to the groom's house without stopping at the bride's house. The groom's parents met the young and blessed: the father with an icon, and the mother with bread. The young people had to bow at their feet at the same time. If they bowed not together, but in turn, then it was believed that there would be disagreements in the young family.

When the young people entered the house, they were showered with hops, rye, accompanied by wishes of happiness and prosperity.

All pre-wedding and especially wedding ceremonies were accompanied by poems, songs, incantations, jokes, and so on. There were no more lamentations at the wedding. The wedding feast was accompanied by the presentation of gifts, cheerful songs and dances. In addition, some ritual actions were obligatory: the young had to drink and eat from the same dish, or they put a boy on the bride's lap so that sons were born.

The young people were seated at the table very solemnly and majestically, then relatives were seated - always by seniority, and guests.

The village healer or sorcerer always sat in a place of honor at the wedding table. However, he occupied a place of honor not because he could, angry at insufficient respect for him, “turn the wedding train into wolves”, but because he was a descendant of those very magi who had crowned our ancestors for hundreds of years. Young people were not allowed to drink or eat during the wedding feast.

When a kurnik was served on the table, it meant that the time had come - "Tetera flew to the table - the young woman wanted to sleep." It was time to perform the bed rite: to songs and dances, with obviously immodest hints and jokes, the young were escorted to a separate room or crate and left alone. It was believed that the singing of such songs was necessary for a happy marriage. Under parting words, the newlyweds, having captured a ritual loaf wrapped in a towel and a chicken, closed themselves in a cage. Depending on the traditions prevailing in the area, the young were left alone for two hours or overnight.

At the door with a drawn sword, the groom's friend walked, guarding the peace of the newlyweds.

Kunyu fur coat trample!

Push each other!

Sleep well!

Have fun getting up!

After such rather frank wishes, the guests retired to the house, but after a while they sent to inquire about "health". If the groom answered that he was in “good health”, then “good” happened. "Merry getting up," the young began to eat. Taking the chicken, the newlywed had to break off the leg and wing, and then throw them back over his shoulder. After tasting chicken and loaf, the young people joined the guests, and the fun continued.

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