What does it take to be a good friend. How to be a good friend

What is friendship, and how to become a good friend? No one can accurately answer these questions. For one, this is someone who can support and help in any difficult situation. For another, this is a person who treats something or lends a pen. In general, friendship is like happiness, everyone knows about it, but no one can say what it is. The second option is less similar to the real definition of friendship, because they do not require material goods from it (friendship). And as you know, friendship is, first of all, feelings. Accordingly, it was not in vain that the people said: "A friend is known in trouble."

Sometimes, we are visited by various thoughts, for example, am I a good friend, am I helping enough, am I doing the right thing? If such thoughts appear, it means that, nevertheless, a feeling of friendship is present in these relations. Without it, such questions simply would not exist. We all know that building true friendship takes time. Years will pass, someone will remain in our life, someone will leave us. And only then do you begin to understand that friendship is a priceless feeling that can live forever.

So it turns out: in order to have real friends, you yourself must perfectly imagine how to become a good friend to others. But this will require maximum effort. Thus, you can become not just a good friend, but also an element in the life of a person who cannot imagine his life without you. But it is worth remembering that any feelings are built on trust, mutual understanding. A friend must be reliable so that you can rely on him in any difficult situation. If a person does not inspire confidence, then no one will want, not only to be friends with him, but also to have some kind of business.

By the way, everyone is familiar with two-faced people who say to their face that they will definitely help, but in reality they will never do anything. Such actions do not adorn not only real friends, but also just acquaintances. Therefore, it is better to make only those promises that can be kept. If there is uncertainty in fulfilling the request, then it is better to say: “I will think” or “I am not sure.” What kind of trust can we talk about if these promises are not fulfilled. What else should you pay attention to in a relationship, and how to quickly become a good loyal friend? To do this, you can use very simple tips.

How to become a good friend?

• You have to be real. You can not use masks with people you love. We need to communicate openly and truthfully.
• No friendship can be imagined without respect. You should always respect the choice of your friends, because they are people and also have the right to vote and choose.
• “Treat people the way you want them to treat you” is the slogan of true friendship. Accordingly, kindness must be reciprocated with kindness. Because of this, the friendship will grow stronger.
• You should take care of your friend. If you understand that a friend has problems, then you need to help, support.
• And the most important thing. No matter how you strive to become a good best friend, without sincerity, the desire to help, the ability to accept others for who they are, it is actually impossible.

Many friends happen only in childhood and adolescence. The older a person gets, the fewer friends he has. There are many reasons for this, but the main thing is not to lose all your friends and learn to be a good and reliable friend yourself. How to do it? Follow the 10 rules in this article and you will become the best friend in the world.

1. Be faithful. Friendship and betrayal are two incompatible concepts. Betraying friends is a low act that has no justification.

2. Make time. You are close people, at least occasionally share your leisure time. Not necessarily often, but there should be a connection between you. Let in the form of a trip to football, gatherings once a month, a joint hobby or travel.

3. Do not use friends for personal gain. You are not friends for the sake of PR, material gain or a new position. Friendship connects hearts. If you maintain a relationship with a person out of selfish motives, then you are worthless.

4. Remember birthdays. Congratulating a comrade (girlfriend) is a sacred thing. If your memory is full of holes, set a reminder on your phone. So you will not miss an important event and will be able to congratulate a friend, even if you are on different continents.

5. Jealousy kills friendship. When the best friend got married (or a girlfriend got married), you should not be jealous of his family or give ultimatums, tease him. Don't force a choice between you and your family. Try to become a friend for the whole family, including children. Then you will always be a welcome guest and a reliable friend.

6. Help under any circumstances. A faithful friend or girlfriend will not leave you in trouble, will lend a helping hand and will not look for excuses. Just come at any time of the day or night and help. At least with a kind word.

7. Don't date your friend's ex / don't steal a boyfriend from a friend. It is not right. This situation looks ugly. It will be unpleasant for your friend or girlfriend to see you together. It's not friendly.

8. Be honest. Friends are people who can tell the truth in person, but still maintain a great relationship. You can honestly express your opinion and not be hypocritical.

9. Learn to keep secrets. Become the most secure safe in the world. A friend can say anything frankly, hoping for understanding and support. Your task is to keep the secret, no matter how piquant it may be.

10. Respect a friend's privacy. He (she) may have things that he does not want to discuss. You don't have to be a sticky fish that wants to know everything. There are aspects of life that a friend has the right to keep secret.

Being a good friend is not an easy task. But everything will come back. True friends are valued and respected. You won't be alone. There will always be a person who will listen, support and understand.

Helpful Hints

Do you have friends or at least one friend? Then you are a very happy person. And let it seem to you that having friends - it's completely natural; in fact, this is far from the case. Otherwise, where would people come from who have no friends at all?

We must call a spade a spade - even if it is difficult. Because it is not so important how your friend reacts at the moment - but if he is a true friend, then such a person should appreciate the fact that you are honest with him.

Inspire your friend

Encouragement and inspiration are one of the most important moments that will help you become a true friend and see such friends around you. It doesn't matter how bad your mood is - a true friend will always let you know that you are special and that everything will be OK.

A true friend will always support you on your path, giving you the strength to realize that you can overcome this path. A true friend will never stop supporting and encouraging you, even if you have reached your goal; rather, it will help you find your next target!

We must not only take, but also give

As in any other relationship (for example, business or love), it is impossible to constantly take. To be a good friend, you must learn to give your friend what he needs. (one's own time, truthful word, give another support).

In addition, you must also learn to accept what your friend gives you in return. Do not demand too much, hinting that you have given more. But it is worth striking a balance in these things to show that you respect a friend and appreciate his attention.

Push yourself sometimes

From time to time, in a relationship between friends, someone may have the feeling that they are being taken advantage of. This is an embarrassing moment. But do not cut from the shoulder! Even so, make an effort to stay friends for as long as possible.

Perhaps now your friendship is in such a period, when you can give more to your friend. Perhaps after a while you will switch roles. Believe me, this is the least you can do, and therefore always stay in touch - a true friend will do just that.

Strong friendship

Respect what makes you different

There is no doubt that the best relationships are built on mutual interest. However, being a good friend means respecting the boundary where your mutual interests end. To maintain friendly relations we must learn to recognize this boundary in time.

In fact, the strongest relationships are formed between those people who are slightly different from each other in terms of certain interests. It is worth respecting these differences (even cardinal ones), as they help friends develop and complement each other.

Don't take friendship for granted

It doesn't matter how long you've been friends. It also doesn't matter how strong you think your friendship is. You should never take such a relationship as something for granted, which you got absolutely for nothing.

History knows a huge number of cases when the strongest friendships fell apart. for the smallest of reasons. Do not allow yourself to underestimate friendship, as it is a real value and your wealth, which should be protected.

Don't judge

When people start judging each other, then true friendship ends. Of course, as mentioned earlier, real friends are free (moreover, they even have to) tell the truth to each other, it cannot be otherwise.

However do not confuse sincerity with the desire to condemn your friend for some act or spoken word. Also avoid comparisons - and especially God forbid you speak in such a way that someone is better friends! Be wiser.

Selfless friendship

Strive to focus on positive things

And again we return to the fact that real friends should try to tell each other the truth. The fact is that finding flaws and pointing out them is the easiest thing. However, the secret of true friendship is to Look for the positives and encourage them.

Good friends are always worth their weight in gold. None of us wants to be alone, we always strive to find someone who will accept and appreciate us, without any pretensions.

Many people ask: - Why does she or he have so many friends? And they can't find an answer. It's all about ourselves. In order to have many friends, you must first become a good friend yourself. And how exactly, and will be discussed in this article.

Basic rules you must follow to be a good friend

Treat yourself with respect

Whatever you are, always treat yourself with respect. Otherwise, how can you want to be a good friend to someone if you cannot be one to yourself. You will be surprised how effective this rule is, as soon as you take it into your circulation, you will notice a qualitative change.

Don't refuse help

Many have heard the saying: “A friend in need is known”? It really is. Only true friends will not leave you without help in difficult times. And yet, helping does not mean sacrificing something, sometimes it’s just enough to listen to a person.

Chat on different topics

Talk to your friends about various topics. Do not be embarrassed if the conversation turns to unpleasant or personal topics for you. On the contrary, continue the conversation, this will make your relationship trusting and friendship from this will become even stronger.

Respect your friend

If you respect your friend, then do not allow various rumors to appear behind his back. This is a huge mistake that many make and, accordingly, then lose friends. To be a good friend, you need to present them in a good light.

Show yourself real

True friendship appears only when you have nothing to hide. That is, you do not pretend to be someone, but behave the way you want. For example, many make the mistake of flattering a person at the first meeting. Do you think you can't see it? Of course, it is visible, but if at first they do not attach importance to this, later on, you will simply lose trust, and, accordingly, true friendship. Instead of flattery, you can use a compliment. The difference between a compliment and flattery is simple. Flattery is emphasizing fictional virtues, and a compliment is real.

Compliance with all these seemingly simple rules will help you become a good friend for friends. Do not forget one simple and old rule: - "As you treat people, so they treat you."

Maintaining strong friendships is not easy, especially as you grow up. If you want to become a better friend, find opportunities to talk to your friends about life events and meet up times. One of the key aspects of deep friendships is the ability to support your friends and remember mutual respect in conflict situations.

Steps

How to develop friendship

1. Find opportunities to communicate as often as possible. Communication is an important part of friendships. Try to call up and discuss everything in the world at least once a week or two weeks! Talk about life events, discuss common interests and arrange meetings.

   • Even if everyone is very busy, find opportunities to talk or exchange messages during the week. This way you will maintain a close relationship even if you can't see each other often.
   • Reassure a friend that you are always there and ready to help, even if there is not always an opportunity for a meeting or conversation.

2. Try something new together. If you have always wanted to see Lake Baikal or just go to a new cafe, then include friends in your plans. Joint new experiences will become memories and topics for discussion.

   • If you want to be in a new situation together, you can plan a trip or just cook a new dish.
   • You can enroll in drawing or pottery classes together.

3. Give your friends small gifts or favors. Your mindfulness will help you get closer. If you come across a thing that a friend will surely like. and it is quite affordable for you, then such a gift will show your concern. No need to look for special reasons for kind and caring deeds.

   • For example, if a friend is sick, then visit him with chicken broth and medicines.
   • If a friend likes to knit, then you can buy her a nice-colored skein of yarn or new knitting needles.
   • If you want to help but don't have the money to spare, offer to babysit a friend's pet when they're away or help around the house. Just make your friend's life easier and completely free!

4. Support each other in difficult situations. Friends are people you can rely on and trust in almost everything. If one of you finds yourself in a difficult situation, sometimes it's helpful to discuss what's going on. In many cases, you will be able to offer good advice to each other. Show your friend that he can count on you not only in moments of joy.

   • You won't always have ready-made solutions, however, it's enough just to listen to your friend while she tells you about what happened. Even talking can bring relief.
   • If you are aware of the situation, then periodically be interested in the affairs of a friend or arrange meetings to cheer him up. For example, you can arrange an evening of your friend's favorite movies and video games!
   • Respect boundaries even in difficult times. For example, if a friend needs money, but you are not ready to help him financially, then it is better to observe such a boundary, otherwise hostility may arise between you in the future. Supporting a friend does not mean solving all his problems.

5. Share personal stories. It is not easy, but it is important for friends to share their fears, shortcomings and concerns with each other. Such conversations help to better understand each other and strengthen relationships.

   Be sincere with friends. Sincerity and reliability are the most important qualities of a good friend. Always tell your friends the truth, even when it's hard. Try to speak the truth as softly and respectfully as possible, and also not in front of strangers.

   • For example, if a friend is arguing with your mutual friend and spreading gossip about her, then you should calmly discuss the situation.
   • In this case, you can say: “I know that you are not on good terms with Jeanne right now, but it seems to me that you should not tell her secrets to other people. I do not want to interfere in your quarrel, but it seems to me that you will regret such an act.
   • Lying and hiding facts from friends is wrong. If you think it is better for you to remain silent about your actions, then there is a possibility that such actions will be harmful to you or others.

6. Ask your friends questions about their lives and thoughts. There is always a temptation to discuss only your life and problems, because it is important to you, but do not forget to be interested in the lives of your friends! Ask about work, study, hobbies. Ask for their opinion on current events or future plans.

   • For example, if a friend signed up for the football section, then ask: “How was the training session? How do you like the new team?
   • If a friend is going to go to university, then you can ask: “Are you already preparing? Do you need any help before exams?”.

7. Listen carefully to your friends. After the question, focus all your attention on your friend's answer. Respond and ask clarifying questions as needed. Do not express your opinion about the situation until the friend has finished speaking.

   • If you frequently interrupt a friend, try waiting an extra 5-10 seconds before speaking. Many people don't realize they're interrupting others, so if you wait, your friend will get a chance to finish his thought.
   • When talking face to face, maintain eye contact and avoid distractions. For example, don't play on your phone while talking to a friend.

8. Be confident in yourself and your friendship. Sometimes close relationships can cause jealousy or insecurity. Remember that you are friends for a reason, but you are a good friend.

   • No need to be jealous if a friend wants to meet other people. It may seem that she does not give preference to you, but a person cannot always communicate only with you.
   • In case of uncertainty, it is better to talk about your feelings with a friend and find a common solution.
9. • For example, if a friend says: "I think Auchan is closed now", and you know the opening hours, then you can say: "Let's check on the site. I think they have extended the opening hours!".

10. Be kind and polite to your friends. Boundaries are part of any healthy relationship, so it's always important to keep your friends' likes and dislikes in mind. Never deliberately upset them or embarrass them.

    • For example, if you want to go to a party and your friend doesn't want to go, be respectful and don't force him to agree with you.
    • Never call each other names, even as a joke.

11. Don't tell your friends' secrets to anyone. If a friend shares personal or sensitive information with you, don't tell anyone without their permission. Otherwise, rumors will arise that can hurt a friend. Show yourself as a loyal and reliable friend who can keep secrets and resist temptation.

    • However, if you think a friend is in danger or might harm himself, tell a doctor or the law immediately for their safety. It may look like a betrayal, but the life and health of a person is more important.
    • It may seem that gossip will bring you closer to other people, but in fact, such closeness comes at the cost of someone else's happiness, so never discuss people behind their backs.

How to resolve conflicts

1. Trust that the friend comes from the best of intentions. In moments of quarrel, it often seems that the friend is just trying to upset you. It is important to remember that he knows you better than other people. If he does not like your act, then he is probably worried and wants to protect you.

   • It is important to show empathy in conflicts. Try to put yourself in your friend's shoes to see the situation through their eyes. Perhaps you will understand his motives.
   • Remind yourself that you will definitely not remain silent in a situation where a friend's act is contrary to your beliefs.

2. Tell your friends about your feelings. When you're ready to discuss a fight, start with your feelings. This will help you focus on the current problem and not return to old painful issues.

   • Formulate your statements in the first person: "I get upset when you talk about my shortcomings in the presence of strangers," or: "I'm offended that you and your friends got together without me."
   • Try not to start phrases with the word "you" like: "You were discussing me behind my back, and this is very ugly."
   In case of disagreement, you can consider that now you are opposing each other. Instead, try to imagine that you are fighting a problem together. Discuss your current feelings, exchange ideas for solving the problem in order to choose a common strategy.
   • For example, if you and a friend like the same girl, you might suggest, “I think it would be best for neither of us to date her. This way we will keep our friendship and will not compete with each other because of the girl.”
   • If you cannot choose one solution, then try to combine 2-3 joint options.
   • A few weeks after using the joint solution, you need to discuss how effective it was. Make changes or find a new solution if necessary.

• Always be yourself and don't be ashamed of yourself. If a person condemns you as a person, then he cannot be called a good friend.

Warnings

• Respect the personal boundaries of friends. If they need to be alone, then there is no need to call or write dozens of messages. Such obsession can ruin relationships.
• If one of your friends is showing symptoms of depression, talk about what's going on. In the event of a perceived danger to a friend or others, contact law enforcement immediately. Such a decision may seem tough, but sometimes you need to protect a friend and others.