Pretty girls don't like me. What kind of guys girls like and why I'm not one of them

I regularly get questions that guys usually address the universe, but since feedback from him is often junk, Vintovkin will do: “Why does no one love me?” and any variations on the theme (“Why does everyone have girls, but I don’t?”, “Why don’t they pay attention to me?”, “Why can’t I start a relationship with anyone?” Etc.) And each time it's hard for me, damn hard to pick up the right words in order, on the one hand, to cheer up the questioner (because sometimes you really just need to wait). And on the other hand, to force him to look at the objective reasons/habits/characteristics that prevent him from establishing an intergender dialogue.

In order to save myself, and at the same time them, from torment, I decided to collect the most common answers in one post:

1. Because you are too soft

I do not think that being sensitive, shy, tactful, prudent and obedient is a bad thing. But that's what young virgins usually think. And than less years the girl, the more, as a rule, she attaches more importance to the textbook attributes of masculinity (determination bordering on impudence, commanding intonations in her voice, a steely look, a strong-willed chin and the list goes on). To look - and immediately understand: before you is not just a male creature, but a male, and clearly dominant. And the qualities that are at the opposite pole are often interpreted *, on the contrary, as a sign of weakness and self-doubt. And such quivering, not quite (or not at all) male gentlemen usually turn out to be suitable as girlfriends with whom you can go to the movies and fray, but somehow you don’t want to look at them without panties, thanks.

*Of course, such an approach from the point of view of humanism (and adult woman like me) - cruel, superficial, even stupid. But young girls are often just like that - superficial, stereotypically thinking and, frankly, heartless creatures.

2. Because you are introverted

There is no greater torture than a date with a guy who cannot connect two words, looks at you askance and frowningly, as if you made a stuffed animal out of his favorite dachshund, and answers any question as if his every “Ummm ...” will certainly be used against him. First, because a girl usually tunes in to what it is her will entertain and enthrall. And when in the end she herself is forced to pull the whole conversation and act as an animator, this, frankly, is a bummer. Secondly, a society of silent people and is always a big test for female self-esteem. With her head, maybe she understands that the problem is not in her, but in you (and the fact that, hanging for days / weeks / months in some social network, you simply lost the habit - or maybe you never knew how - to communicate in real life). But somewhere deep inside, a worm of doubts is still tossing and turning: all of a sudden, in fact, you are charming and eloquent, and you behave this way with her, because you simply don’t like her enough? And women, whatever one may say, prefer the company of someone who is crazy about them. And he doesn't hide it.

3. Because you are rude

Including and especially in relation to girls. You are rude to them, daring, teasing and just trying to humiliate them at every opportunity. Testicles should be torn off by someone who convinced you that women love to be mixed with dirt. Take my word for it: they don't. Maybe at first some of my gender sisters find this charmingly eccentric and even exciting. But then the realization will certainly come that you behave this way not from an excess of strength, but, on the contrary, from impotence.

4. Because you criticize

The ability to find a spoonful of something foul-smelling and inedible in everything (“Pretty? So, probably a fool or a slut”, “Salary increased by 10%? Well, prices increased by 20”, etc.), in principle, useful for life skill. It is well known that the less you wait, the less you will be disappointed in the end. But this skill is good only for its owner. Everyone else (including girls) in the company of such negative people sooner or later becomes uncomfortable. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And to give a chance to a guy who clearly has problems "with vision", no one wants to.

5. Because you complain

Nobody likes whiners. And even the mothers of whiners who are supposed to console, stroke their curls and whisper “everything will be fine”, doing all this, think to themselves, damn it, well, how much can you do, but get together already, in the end! If you are so unbearable and absolutely need to pour out your suffering somewhere, get yourself a little book and write down all your poor things and troubles in it. And the girls absolutely don’t want to hear about the fact that the weather is rubbish, the neighbors got it with their repairs, the ancestors went out of their minds, the last season of the Game of Thrones is boring and so on, in the same minor key. And if you are counting on the fact that the girl will rush to convince you and prove that life is really beautiful and amazing, then in vain. Rather, she will rush into the arms of someone who is not so painful about the imperfections of this world.

6. Because you are passive

In the most primitive, absolutely heterosexual sense. Men who live by the principle “They will come and offer everything themselves” usually naively believe that this rule applies to women as well. And if his threshold is still not upholstered by beautiful, ready for all virgins, then this is a temporary phenomenon. You just need to get comfortable on the couch, make sure the doorbell works, and wait. Alas, it is not. Women, like a hundred years ago, are waiting, hoping and believing that they will be conquered. And even in our harsh metrosexual age, for one like you, there are a dozen hereditary "getters".

7. Because you are boring

Let's take an objective look at the situation. What, besides study / work, series and social networks, is your life filled with? Are you really good at anything? Are you able to talk about something with burning eyes for more than 15 minutes? Yes, even about the etymology of Russian obscenities or the difference between Romanian and Belgian porn. How often, communicating with you, people say: “Oh, cool!”, “Nothing!”, “I would never have thought (a)!” etc. Women have always been drawn - and will continue to do so - to those who know, know how, have seen more than themselves. And the fact that they do not see such a person in you is only to blame for you and your meager range of interests.

8. Because you don't love yourself

If you consider yourself worthless, then why on earth would anyone perceive you differently? If we have to choose between extremes, then girls are more sympathetic to slightly narcissistic natures ( keyword- "slightly"). With them, although we are on the sidelines, we are always at the epicenter of attention and events. The main thing is that the ego of the gentleman should be based not only on the fact that in childhood his mother told him: “Baby, you are the best!”, But on something a little more substantial and tangible.

9. Because you are sure that everyone owes you

The state - smooth roads and polite doctors, friends - to meet at the airport at three in the morning, girls - to hand over their phone numbers, as soon as you linger on them for more than three seconds. Such types, firstly, usually turn out to be terry bores and egoists who only go on about their needs, for the most part unsatisfied. And secondly, often they themselves do not know how and do not have what to give to those who are nearby. And relationships are, whatever one may say, couple view sports.

Padding around the form

Why do some guys enjoy amazing success with the weaker sex, while the girls do not notice other guys and bypass them? The point is that many modern girls so self-sufficient and are confident in themselves that they don’t need any guy, just not to be alone - they need strong feelings and serious relationship Every girl has her own ideal guy, whom she dreams of meeting. And in order for a girl to fall in love with you and agree to meet with you, you must at least approximately correspond to her ideal, and not only externally, but also in terms of character traits. Alas, in most cases, the guys themselves are to blame for the fact that they fall far short of the ideal.

The second reason why a guy may not be successful with girls is a banal one. shyness. If you are excessively shy and afraid to talk to the girl you like, then there is nothing surprising in the fact that you are still alone. So it is accepted that men should take the initiative in relationships. As a rule, the bolder and more confident a guy is, the more girls like him and the easier it is for him to build relationships with them. True, one self-confidence for success in women is not enough. If a appearance and the man's behavior does not match women's expectations, then no amount of self-confidence will help him.

If you have a guy friend who enjoys great success at the weaker sex, carefully observe how he behaves with girls. You can even ask him about what helps him to win female hearts. If he is yours close friend surely he can give you a lot useful tips. Take his advice into service - you may find it useful. But at the same time, you should take into account that each guy has his own tactics of behavior with girls, and therefore stupid imitation may be ineffective. For example, if your friend is very confident, and you are a timid quiet person, then your behavior style will be different in any way, and the types of girls who can like you will also be different.

So, let's take a closer look at the main reasons why girls may not like a guy:

1.Untidy appearance.
Please note that girls are very squeamish. And if you have dirt under your nails, and your hair looks like you haven’t washed or cut it for a couple of months, then don’t be surprised if the girls shy away from you! Take care of yourself, be neat and well-groomed if you want to please girls. Dress in fashion, use good perfume and deodorants, get a haircut, always be clean-shaven and combed - and your chances of success with girls will increase markedly. And throw away your torn socks!

2. Unsportsmanlike figure.
Know: girls are just crazy about pumped up, muscular guys with cubes on their stomachs! And if, despite your young age, you have already grown a beer belly that does not fit into your pants and hangs over your belt, do not even hope that the girls will be delighted with you. Do you want girls to like you? So, go in for sports now! Enrolled in a local gym or bought collapsible dumbbells and work out at home - this will help you get a great figure and become attractive to girls. By the way, regular exercise will help you become like a real man, not only if you have excess weight, but even if you are excessively thin and give the impression of a weak dystrophic.

3. Good upbringing.
No self-respecting girl will tolerate an ill-mannered and rude boor next to her. So, if you yourself are aware that your upbringing is lame, work on your manners! Never get drunk in front of a girl, do not use swear words, do not raise your voice so that she does not decide that it is better to stay away from you. Do not forget that you need to look after the girl beautifully - give flowers, open doors in front of her, give a hand when leaving the transport. Even if it seems to you that all these are unnecessary little things, keep in mind that for girls they matter! Show the girl that you are well-mannered, delicate, tactful and romantic - and then she will not hesitate to introduce you to her parents and friends.

4. Greed.
Greed and pettiness do not adorn men and repel girls from them. Nobody says that from the first day you meet, you should give a girl expensive gifts, but if you are greedy to invite a girl to a cafe and treat you to coffee and cake, she will certainly notice this and draw the appropriate conclusions for herself. Understand: girls love generous guys not because they are selfish and materialistic, but because they want to be sure that their chosen one will become for them a good husband who will not count every penny and will be able to provide for his family. If you want to show yourself to a girl suitable option for serious relationship, demonstrate that you are not a redneck, but a normal one, generous man. Girls love romantic men who know how to beautifully look after, give flowers, take them to the cinema and cafes. Therefore, greed and romance are incompatible! But if you are in this moment you just can't afford to spend a lot on a girl, explain it to her. If this is a good, not mercantile girl, she will certainly understand you.

5. Speech.
Remember all the time: girls listen carefully to everything you say and draw conclusions from what they hear. Conclusions about whether you fit them or not. To see what I mean, compare the two monologues:

Monologue One: “How tired I am of all this! At work, they pay pennies, but they are forced to plow in full. Although, I understand perfectly well that I will never become rich - I'm not a thief or a bandit, like some! And I'm constantly unlucky with women - all the cunning and mercenary bitches come across, who only think how to spin me for money. In a word, life is shitty, and I don’t expect anything good from it. ”

Second monologue: “It's okay that sometimes it's hard at work. And who is easy now? But I am sure that in the near future I will be able to make a good career. I am not afraid of difficulties, but I try to overcome them, because difficulties and luck go hand in hand. If I am unlucky in this job, I will certainly find more promising work where I can definitely move forward. Or open my own business. Yes, there have been love disappointments in my life, but I perfectly understand how difficult it is to find your man. I don't blame mine former women- we just didn’t fit each other, as we turned out to be different people».

The first monologue betrays a potential loser and misogynist who, in essence, is not able to make a career or with a woman successful relationship build. But the second monologue could only be delivered a real man who is not afraid of life's problems, is ready to fight for success and treats women well. Since which of these two men do you think is more likely to produce positive impression on a girl and win her heart? Everyone knows that women, for the most part, prefer to deal with strong, strong-willed and confident men, behind which, like behind a stone wall, and not with weak-willed and boring whiners. Therefore, if you want girls to take you seriously, learn to look optimistically into the future, never be a nurse, and always be ready to protect not only yourself, but also your girlfriend from problems and difficulties.

Never, under any circumstances, complain about fate. And if you decide to tell a girl something about yourself, then tell only such cases from your life that put you in best light, and on the basis of which the girl will be able to decide that you are exactly the man she needs for life - brave, kind, reliable, enterprising, decisive. And in general, talk less about yourself and be more interested in the girl's life and problems - this will allow you not to say too much and learn more about what your girl is like. Keep in mind that all girls are very fond of speaking out and appreciate it when they listen carefully and with interest. Sympathize with the girl's problems, give her advice, reassure, cheer, be able to say in time nice compliment- and soon she simply will not be able to do without you!

Well, now you should understand why girls don't like you. Read, re-read all of the above, draw conclusions and work on yourself. But at the same time, so that there are no misunderstandings, you need to remember an important truth: no matter how good, smart and attractive you are, you will never be able to please all the girls without exception. Every girl has her own taste and ideas about perfect man. Some girls like bold and reckless brunettes, others like calm and balanced blondes. So don't be upset if some girl rejects you. Follow our advice, be a real man - and on your life path you will certainly meet wonderful girl who will appreciate and love you.

Padding around the form

You are interested in this question - why do girls not like me? We can console you, you are not the only one. Many young people ask: "Why don't girls like me?" Very often, thinking this way, young people are very much mistaken. Girls tend to wait for attention to themselves, and how to express their feelings to a guy, they know even worse than young people. So, often both guys and girls are in the same position - in standby mode. And few people know how to attract attention or cause.

One young man, sharing his feelings, said that he absolutely did not know how to behave with girls, because he did not know what they think, feel, what they like and what not. Therefore, when talking with them, he becomes confused and stiff. Perhaps you, too, have such feelings. Don't be discouraged, you are not alone.

And the fact that you ask questions shows that you are a thinking person.

Young people are easy to understand. Indeed, the interests, experience, feelings, perception of the world, social circle of girls can be very different from men's. But, this is good! We are just different, which is why we can complement each other wonderfully. Complement — not oppose each other! Remember this. Now read and remember what girls may not like in the opposite sex.

What girls don't like about guys (men)

Here we come to the first point about what girls (or women) may not like in men (or guys). This the first point is offensive generalizations about women. Flawed people constantly humiliate and insult others with bad statements. Therefore, pay attention to how you speak about women (especially in their presence). Do sayings like “a chicken is not a bird - a woman is not a man” flash in your vocabulary or something about “you are all like that ...” Having heard unflattering reviews about themselves, girls are unlikely to be happy with such communication, rather they will try to stay away from the sources of these statements . Here we smoothly move on to the second point.

Point two - rude speech . I and most of the fair sex are terribly hurt by harsh statements using rude obscenities and spitting (both physical and verbal). For every rude woman, they are "women" or "heifers" or something else, and they are all somehow bad. A narrow vocabulary is an indicator of intellectual narrowness, laziness and limitation. Rudeness is an indicator of bad manners and cruelty. In general, your speech says a lot about you and your content.

It is not for nothing that they say that "women love with their ears." And that's the way it is. The inability to express one's thoughts in an interesting and beautiful way quickly makes a person gray and boring. A wide vocabulary, on the contrary. I am involuntarily drawn to communicate with people who know how to support, beautifully express their thoughts, who know poems, aphorisms, biographies famous people and able to do interesting findings. This is what I would talk to for hours on end.

Point three - direct harassment. I don't think much needs to be explained here. Pay attention to how you behave, especially if it seems to you that you are irresistible, but for some reason you are not successful with girls. Perhaps from the first meeting you start behaving as if you have a complete love for the girl you like. property right. There is such a type of annoying men who, with their persona, try to outshine everyone and everything: they talk more (almost non-stop) and louder than everyone else, they are inclined to argue, they constantly cackle (they just cackle, because it’s impossible to call it laughter), they become impudent, thinking that everyone should be crazy about him and his proposals.

Another type of sticky guy is not so self-confident, but terribly boring and clingy. You hint at them politely and this way and that, and speak directly, but they interpret everything somehow in their own way and again find reasons to accompany them somewhere ... They are from the category of hanging, swallowing pills, cutting their veins, standing under the windows for days and at night, writing tearful poems and letters. In general, typical.

These victims will draw an image for themselves (like Pygmalion), fall in love with him, and themselves and others. Because of him, the girl must think from the very morning which road to take so that he does not watch for him around the corner. Or, what gait to move and where to look, so as not to give a reason to again to cling to if you had to cross somewhere by accident.

Point four - unkempt. Note that this does not include natural beauty, but how you take care of yourself. A man does not have to be beautiful in face and body. Although the girls pay attention to this, but not in the first place. Therefore, the question: how to please a girl if you are ugly, is not so important. Pay more attention to the questions: how to please a girl in general, how to please on a first date, what to do to (in principle) please and what not to do so as not to alienate. In general, in the article we cover these issues.

So, point four - appearance (self-care). To make everything as clear as possible to you, I will simply describe the two guys, and you turn on your imagination.

The first : shiny hair, beautiful haircut dressed stylishly and tastefully in clean clothes, wide smile, straight posture, tripping, nice smell.

Second : oily, sticky hair; jeans stretched at the knees, a soiled sweatshirt or T-shirt; the back is stooped and walks half-bent, as if he put it in his pants; clothes smell of tobacco, food and sweat, and from the mouth it is not better, from above all this is still strongly “flavored” with perfume. Although, to shied away from you decent girl and one of the listed smells is enough.

Please note that the image described above becomes PLEASANT or UNPLEASANT, it does NOT depend on height, figure, face and other things that are either very difficult or impossible to influence. Everything described is quite achievable with certain EFFORT. You need to strain a little to: walk clean, combed, in neat (clean, not worn) clothes and monitor your smells, teeth (so that you can smile broadly), and so on.

The fifth point is self-doubt. This uncertainty shows through in everything: in the absence of one's own convictions, opinions, life goals, unwillingness to take responsibility; in a shuffling gait, stooped back; baggy clothes; confused facial expression ... Look at your reflection in the mirror. Ask those who can be trusted what kind of person you are more like: insecure, self-confident, or balanced and confident. Ask them to be honest with you and don't be afraid if it turns out that things aren't as good as you thought. After all, you are still young and everything can be fixed. It is the shortcomings (lack of something) that often encourage people to such powerful work over themselves, that then others begin to envy their success and experience.

Good day, dear readers. Today we will talk about such a delicate issue as “girls don’t like me, why is this happening.” You will find out what features of appearance, character, can repel the representatives of the opposite sex. You will become aware of what you need to change in yourself in order to become attractive in the eyes of girls.

Why can't a guy like you

1. A beautiful young lady will obviously be scared away by a young man who behaves rudely, in particular towards girls.
2. You may not like a guy who is too shy, overly sensitive.
3. Do not attract young people who are too silent, closed. Girls prefer cheerful guys who can talk on any topic, cheer up, and have fun.
4. Definitely do not like the boor - a person who is trying to humiliate others, pour mud on them.
5. A young man who constantly criticizes everyone, sees everything in a black light, will not arouse interest.
6. Girls don't like whiners. Next to them they want to see a strong man.
7. Boring guys are not appreciated. This can be said about a guy who, apart from studying and at home, knows and does not see anything, who does not have any hobbies, does not go in for sports. It is not even interesting to talk to such a person.
8. Repelled by a guy who is not able to take care of himself, he has bad smell from the mouth, uncut nails, unwashed hair, uncleaned shoes. Such a person is hardly capable, at least to please someone.
9. Girls do not like too self-confident guys who build themselves into some kind of deity. It doesn't matter how handsome a guy is if he has an inflated ego.
10. A young man who teaches everyone around, tells how to live properly, what to wear, what to do, will definitely repel any girl.
11. It is unlikely that anyone can like a guy who constantly behaves inconspicuously, quietly, almost no one knows about his existence.
12. The girl will not meet with a man who is known as a liar.
13. A young man who compares all girls, for example, with his mother.
14. It is unlikely that anyone will like an irresponsible guy who does not know how to keep his word.
15. Repulsed by young people who treat themselves badly. As they say, first of all, you need to love yourself, then everyone around you will be drawn to you. Whatever you are. AT this case you need to make every effort to change your attitude, go in for sports, put yourself in order.
16. Not popular passive people who do not think about the need to make any efforts to win a girl, to interest her in themselves. They believe that everything will come by itself.

Signs of an attractive partner

Let's look at what guys like girls in appearance.

1. Clear face, no acne.
2. Slightly unshaven or clean-shaven face. If there is a beard, then it should be well-groomed and neat.
3. With a well-groomed hairstyle, washed hair, an interesting haircut.
4. Necessarily clean, neatly trimmed nails
5. Should come from a man pleasant aroma perfume, fresh breath.
6. Polished shoes.
7. Clean clothes, ironed, always chosen according to the occasion and the weather, suitable in size. Also great importance It has right taste in the choice of items of clothing.

In a word, girls are attracted to neat, tidy and well-groomed young people.

Let's look at what kind of guys girls like by character:

• caring;
• attentive;
• generous;
• With good feeling humor
• purposeful;
• self-confident;
• romance.

What to do to please

1. It is very important to show good manners.
2. Don't forget compliments. The lady will be pleased to hear pleasant words regarding her appearance, sense of humor, intelligence.
3. If she talks about some plans, about her aspirations, hold her.
4. It is necessary that the guy's attention is focused only on one chosen one, so that he is not distracted by the girls passing by.
5. Stay calm when around a girl, don't be nervous, don't bend your arms, don't twist your hair, act confident.
6. Observe personal hygiene. It is important for a girl how a guy looks, how he smells.
7. Learn to be a good conversationalist. It is important for a girl that a guy knows how to keep a conversation going.
8. Be sure to be responsible. If you are not studying now, try to find a job, do not sit on your parents' necks.
9. The main thing is to always be yourself, in any situations, circumstances. No need to engage in self-deception, fake, try, seem better than it really is.
10. If you know about your shortcomings, then you should get rid of them, no matter how hard it is, no matter how much time is spent.
11. Always treat people of the opposite sex with respect.
12. If you feel insecure next to a girl, stay in a female company more often in order to adapt and not experience such problems in the future.
13. If you are a boor, finally take care of your manners. If necessary, attend special trainings.
14. If you think that girls don’t like you because of their appearance, then you need to realize that not everyone pays attention to eye color, nose shape, protruding ears. For many, what's inside is much more important. In addition, the appearance can be corrected by visiting the gym, going to the hairdresser, if the face is strewn with acne - this can be combated with the help of cosmetics.

I have a guy friend who, despite overweight(it has 20 extra pounds) and short stature is very popular with girls. In addition, I can say that he is a notorious womanizer, and for many years. He is confident enough in himself, loves himself the way he is, never pretends, shows concern, is an excellent conversationalist, has a good sense of humor. This is an example of how advantages can hide disadvantages.

How not to behave

1. It's bad when a guy, eager to increase his self-esteem, become popular among girls, starts flirting with every person he meets. You need to understand that everyone around will know about this feature. What girl wants to communicate, in fact, with a womanizer?
2. Be overly assertive female failures like a call to action.
3. It is unacceptable to pursue girls, it will not only scare away, but also scare.
4. You do not need to use the method according to the principle that if you love someone less, then you fall in love with yourself more. This method only works on girls who have very low self-esteem.

Now you know which guys girls like best. You know how to behave, what you need to do to change. Remember, the end justifies the means. If you want to get attention beautiful lady, then you have to work hard on yourself. All in your hands.