Why people need children - the main reasons. What does family give to a person in life?

Undoubtedly, almost every person sooner or later tries to answer the question that arises in his mind - what can and should I, as a parent, give to my child? What does a family give to children?

The most interesting thing is that in most cases, the answers to similar questions are already embedded in us, they are stored somewhere in the depths and often, you just need to listen to yourself to find them.

All of us, when we mentally visualize the concept of “family,” imagine a certain picture. And the central figure of this family we imagine is the image of a mother - a tender caring woman who is always ready to console, help, calm. She loves her child, and many associate it with this feeling. And this image, this symbol is inherent in us by nature itself. And this is exactly what children need a family for - to understand that there is a calm corner in this world where they will always accept and understand.

It is the mother who personifies in children that very “fortress”, shelter and refuge where they can hide from all adversity. It is to her that a child most often goes when he has problems.

For a child, a mother is like his safety net, a conductor between him and the world. She can accept the child no matter what, in its most varied, often not even the most pleasant, manifestations. This is perhaps the main maternal principle, something that few people other than a mother are capable of - accepting their child as anyone.

And the most important thing is that she does it sincerely, because any manifestations of falsehood are instantly felt by the child and the connection is lost.

Of course, this in no way means that the mother by default agrees with every gesture and action of the child. But that's exactly what tolerant attitude should help convey to the child that he was mistaken, that he should have acted differently. But first, the mother must listen to her child and try to understand.

Unlike the mother, the father’s task is to set boundaries, determine the laws and rules by which the child will live in this world. And at the same time, it is not so important whether a boy or a girl grows up in a family. In any case, mother and father symbolize two different principles for the child.

Mom is the embodiment inner world, feelings, understanding of the world, compassion, dad is the world around us, with its norms, competition and laws of community.

If a child does not get what he needs from his mother, he may later develop low self-esteem accompanied by feelings of inferiority and self-doubt.

He may often have a feeling of dysfunction, which entails incorrect algorithms for interacting with the world. He may try to adapt to others to his own detriment. It’s so easy to conclude that no one needs you if you don’t need your own mother.

If a child lacks paternal upbringing and communication, this may lead to difficulties with further socialization and finding his place in the professional world.

And therefore, when a child is raised alone by one of the parents, it is necessary to find that second figure on which the child could be guided.

Even when a child is going through a difficult teenage stage and it seems to him that there is not a single person in the whole world who would understand him. When all authorities are rejected, and the advice of parents is often ignored, even then, and maybe especially then, they should be his strong rear, those people whom he will not lose in the heat of growing up.

The influence that both parents have on the child is always extremely important. important role. It is parents who give direction to the development of their child, and are responsible for what he will become in the future. adult life. They pass on their knowledge and principles to him, each from his own point of view and position teaches him how to behave in this life. What the family gives to children, what it instills in them from the very beginning early age, will determine their fate in the future and subsequent interaction with their own children.

Example parental behavior, support in Hard time, joy in success, will create a feeling of home, because this is exactly what children need a family for. And not only for children, but also for adults.

You can either write your own.

Probably every person has heard the phrase that full family Only possible with children. And this belief has ruined the lives of many couples who decided to have a child only because it was necessary. But in fact, not every spouse can clearly answer why they need children. They do not imagine themselves as parents in the full sense of the word, and cannot understand exactly what functions they should perform. Let's try to talk in more detail about why children are needed in a family. We will also answer the question: why do children need parents?

Why is there a child in the family?

There are quite a few reasons for having a baby. Some married couples decide to give birth in order to improve their health, feel independent, gain new status parents, get rid of own parents etc. It is also customary in society to have children in order to raise helpers for oneself, to educate good people or give the child the appropriate social status.

Unfortunately, none of the above reasons is capable of reflecting the value of a child’s life as such. Children become a means of achieving the goals of their parents and for this reason alone they cannot live to the fullest. own life.

People who are thinking about having children must realize once and for all that a child is not their property or part of the state. Baby is free person from birth, and he has the right to choose his own destiny, to search for the meaning and purpose of life in his own ways.

Parents take on a huge responsibility when bringing a child into this world. Children come into our lives for our own development and full development. They help parents understand themselves and the world through communication and joint activities. Parents have the opportunity to look at life through the eyes of a child, taking into account past experience, reconsider certain conclusions and understand something new.

Taking this information as an axiom, it is worth giving the baby complete freedom for possible manifestation of oneself in life. The soul of a child comes into this world to gain its own life experience. Accordingly, we raise a free person, a separate soul in small body.

General state The baby is a reflection, as in a mirror, of the parent’s level of development. By it you can judge the state of mind of mom and dad, the opening of their hearts, purity of thoughts, balance of spiritual as well as material manifestations, and the presence of happiness.

Thus, we can conclude that we need children in order to share our lives with them. Not to solve various problems and tasks, but in order to become happy and learn to be better.

Why do parents need a child?

Why children need parents is as important as why children are in the family. However, his parents ask themselves much less often. In fact, dad and mom for a child are the whole world and the whole Universe. They become the material for the baby to build himself and the rest of the world. Parents are not only a source of satisfying some of the child’s needs, they play the role of a means and way of building themselves and all ideas about life.

In the early childhood the child completely merges with the mother, uses her to understand himself, his conditions and learn to evaluate them. In many ways, this merging continues until the end of childhood, and partly until adolescence. As the baby grows up, the mother begins to play a slightly different role, the baby separates and masters the gender role.

For girls, the mother becomes a model to which they show increased attention and even sometimes jealousy. And for boys, the mother is the center of the world; she should give them enough affection, sympathy and recognition of “manhood.”

The role of the father in the lives of children is also very high. On early stage In the life of a child, the father takes on many of the mother’s functions, but over time he becomes a real standard social concepts, embodying demanding and evaluative functions. The father also plays the role of a protector, helping to develop the baby’s personality and his separation from the mother. The father is extremely important for the child, as an example of the role of a man in the family and outside it. For boys, the father becomes an example that he will consciously or subconsciously follow in life. later life. And for girls, dads are needed in the family as an example of a future partner, so it is extremely important that every dad sees and highly values ​​everything in his daughter feminine qualities.

Parents are the center of the baby's world. It is the qualities of mom and dad that determine what kind of person a child will grow up to be. In families where peace, warmth, respect, optimism and goodwill reign, children grow up calm and confident, feel the support of loved ones and their acceptance of themselves as individual.
And vice versa, if a baby grows up in an atmosphere of anxiety, quarrels, conflicts and tension, he will feel lost, unnecessary, and may become aggressive or, conversely, withdrawn.

Unfortunately, learn to be good parents very difficult. After all, the majority married couples transfer their parenting style to their own family, which leads to the repetition of the same mistakes. Of course, we all want our children to be truly happy, successful and healthy. But for this we need to try and understand why they were given to us, and we to them.

Children need a family. This is not even discussed. Children cannot do without adults, they will simply die. And, if a child is not lucky enough to grow up in a family, he can survive physically, but psychologically it is very difficult. Therefore, children who grew up in orphanages often do not become the best, as they say, members of our society. In other words, when they leave government institutions, they often end up in other, similar institutions - prisons, engage in prostitution, take drugs, and lead an antisocial lifestyle.

Those who believe that these are all genes are mistaken. Theft or prostitution, as well as a tendency to alcoholism or drug addiction, are not transmitted by genes. It’s just that these children, leaving a closed institution, do not know how to live in society, do not know how to serve their needs, and they are not aware of their needs, or rather, they are not aware of their needs. After all, they are not taught this. IN orphanage everything is on schedule. Not when you want to eat or are wet, or when it hurts, but when you should. Over time, the child understands that one should not express his needs by crying loudly or in any other way, and after a while, the baby ceases to be aware of them. He just freezes and waits for the right time to come, according to the schedule. And you stop feeling pain or hunger altogether. That's why children from orphanage sometimes they really don’t feel pain, cold, or increased body temperature. Moreover, they do not know how to feel the pain and experiences of another person. For them, the suffering of another does not matter. That's why they can be cruel at times.

This is why children need a family. It is there, in the family, that the child forms an attachment to his mother, and then to other loved ones, and this is the basis of future relationships - friendship, love, parenthood. It is in the family that the child receives the understanding that the world can be safe, that it is not scary. What children from orphanages do not have. Having been abandoned by their parents, their basic sense of security is violated. Instead, fear settles in the heart, in the soul, in every molecule. It is he who then moves such a person. In order to cope with fear and protect itself, the child finds the simplest methods taken from the experience of communicating with adults, namely indifference and cruelty towards others. Only in a family can a child form an attitude towards himself: What am I? If the family meets the child’s needs for protection, care, attention, communication, the child understands that this world is happy for him. U little man the feeling “I am!” is born! I am loved!”, or as they said in Rus', “I am!”

If things didn’t work out with your biological parents, then it’s very good that there are people who call themselves adoptive parents. Many children are now becoming adopted, which means that many future adults will become happy and able to live in society, create families, realize themselves and raise their own children. Eat Great chance that the child who came from harsh conditions child care facility or a dysfunctional parental family, compensates, together with the adoptive parents, for the omissions that were there. Time will pass and he will understand that people can be trusted, that there are people who care about him and are worried, that not all adults are indifferent to his needs. But first, new parents will have to work hard to earn trust in themselves and lower the level of fear that already lives in the little man. And he, unfortunately, settles there immediately after birth, if the mother was not nearby, or was nearby, but various reasons did not always satisfy the child’s needs, and sometimes the reaction to the baby’s crying was beatings, instead of food or warmth. It will take a long time for the baby to become attached to its new parents. Attachment is formed, it is not born. It cannot flare up like love, or appear like sympathy. Attachment is a path that needs to be walked. The baby goes through this path with his mother from birth, and even before birth he feels protected by his mother, and there she feeds him, regardless of whether he wants to or not. And after birth, the child miraculously simply binds his mother and father to him with his external touching appearance, smile, cry, which no normal adult can bear, with the first “aha” and “give”. Then, growing up, hand in hand with the people closest to him, the baby explores the world, gets into trouble, learns to communicate with peers, and gains new knowledge. And he can do this because he is sure that there is a place where he will always be reassured, supported, sorry if he hurts or was offended, that his mistakes will be accepted and allowed to be safely corrected. The child is coming through life with the feeling that his parents will be there until a certain moment, until he gets stronger and can go on his own voyage.

Adopted children did not have this opportunity. And new parents have to go through this path all over again, sometimes starting over. Sometimes children surprise with their regression in this regard. At the age of 7 or 10, they can ask to be held, to be rocked and even to have a pacifier. And this is not pathology or psychiatry. This is a sign of trust in parents. This is the desire to go through the path that has not been taken, but which, as a program, is written on our road of development. Without passing one level, it is impossible to get to another. And the child wants to go through it with his new parents. It's like learning to walk. First you need to learn to sit, crawl, then stand, and then the first awkward step. If we compare by analogy with a graduate of an orphanage, then from birth he... immediately needs to walk. And this is impossible. Therefore, he does not know at all how to build relationships, does not know how to love, or create affection. He doesn’t understand why he goes to work or how to spend money. Everything was always decided for him, and his opinion was not taken into account.

Children can only go through this path of forming attachment, and therefore forming an attitude towards themselves, towards others and towards the world, next to an understanding, caring and authoritative adult. You can't make it this way on your own. Therefore, this is not a question of whether a child is better off in a family or in an orphanage? It's a matter of life and death. A question of survival. A roof over your head and a scheduled lunch are a lot, but not at all enough for a child to survive. It is because of this that some children die without visible reasons also in infancy, and then from various non-fatal diseases. This is why adults without childhood are people who seem to be dead inside, consumers who despise morality, norms, or are downtrodden, scared, quiet, and not happy.

Now orphanages are being closed - a legacy of Soviet child care. This is a difficult time for those who have spent many years working in such institutions. But best time for children left without parents. A time when everyone has their own family, and not a common home. One desire of both parties in the creation process new family, of course not enough. You need to be aware that the child traumatized attachment, loss, often violence, cannot be ideal. And parents are people too, with their own views on life, family rules, traditions. You should not expect that everything will quickly fall into place, that in a couple of months the child will overcome everything that he had to go through over the years. It’s hard to believe that he will suddenly become a good student, be obedient, or be the way we adults need him to be. It is very important to understand that you cannot demand quick results from either the child or the parents. In addition to the adaptation period in new system, the new family member still has to catch up with all the stages of development of relationships with parents that he did not go through. And this is the infant age, when the baby is in your arms all the time, the so-called “skirt age,” when he is always next to his mother and practically holds on to the hem. The next one is the age of supervision, when the baby is a preschooler and should always see an adult in sight, the first steps at school, when mom or dad do homework together. And, special adolescence, the age of contradictions and negativism.

I often ask myself the question - why do families “have” children? It would seem that what is the point of this question, it seems that the answer is obvious - continuation of the family/family name, continuation of life on earth. Who else will offer what options? What comes from the above?

Most families have nothing to pass on to their children except the surname, but how proud they are - the son will carry on the surname (read - a sign), because tribal knowledge, traditions, craft skills and secrets in the clans, after the revolution and separation from the roots, there is no more, most often there are no clans left in their original meaning, a stump from the once mighty family trees, although there are more and more people who are striving to restore at least something from their ancestral roots. The knowledge that is given at school is hardly worth passing on by inheritance.

Then it remains that children are currently needed to continue life on earth, gave birth, donated to an orphanage and fulfilled their function, extended life, can you be free? I wrote it, but my soul protests - it’s not right, it’s not right.

Then a child is a favorite toy that is “turned on” for his own pleasure? Like a dog, they babysit it, dress it up, decorate it, walk it and train it so that it doesn’t poop in the corners and doesn’t tear up the wallpaper? I have a feeling that this is what happens most often. But the soul says that this is not it either. I ask her, what does she want to say, why do people give birth to children?

These are the thoughts that come to mind, and as far as I could understand it.

We must always remember divine creation man and about him divine essence. Why did God create man? The first and most important thing is that man is created in the image and likeness of God. God gave complete freedom to his creation, freedom of will in the world, freedom to express himself in all aspects of life, to achieve the final result, and God gave all this for self-knowledge, so that, having matured, creating himself, man (soul) again returned to God in a new capacity.

This, in my opinion, is what we need to proceed from when giving birth and “raising” children. Children come into their parents' lives for further development, disclosure and knowledge by parents of themselves and the world, through communication with the child, using the opportunity to look at his world, with children’s, “not blinkered” eyes, taking into account past experience, and reconsider some conclusions; understand something with him in a new, more profound way, rethink some questions, and sometimes ask them to yourself through his lips.

It is important to give the child complete freedom to express himself in this world, understanding that this soul has come to receive his own life experience that we are not raising “our child,” but a free soul, still in a small body, but over time, a friend and comrade-in-arms.

I will repeat again - a child is not the property of his parents, not the property of the state, a child is a free person and has the right to choose his own destiny, to seek the meaning and purpose of life in his own way.

We take on great responsibility when inviting a child into our lives, since we need to understand the level and prospects of our development, since we initially create a child in our own image and likeness, passing on to the child our condition at different levels - physical, spiritual, intellectual . Thus, communicating with him on equal terms, with respect and love, exploring the world with him, parents pass on to him in the process of life their baggage of wisdom, teach him wise communication with the world on own experience. A kind of “education” turns into a process of conversation about life, and whether the child accepts your experience or not, this is his business, his life.

And if you didn’t accept some idea that was important in your opinion, then maybe they conveyed it in the wrong way, in the wrong tone, in the wrong place? Learn to communicate, develop further with your child. And all this should happen in the space of love between a man and a woman, i.e. the birth of a child is the third, very important stage human development in life (the first - before the wedding, the second - after the wedding).

The state of a child is a reflection, as in a mirror, of your current level of development as a person, as a man or woman, the state of your mind, the opening of your heart, the purity of thoughts, the balance of spiritual and material manifestation in the world, happiness.

There is a saying: “There is no point in blaming the mirror if your face is crooked.” If your children do not behave the way you want (inappropriately), then you can ask questions - maybe it is not the children who are behaving incorrectly, but you do not understand something? Maybe you say one thing, but actually do something else, and the children simply copy your actions? Maybe you just need to leave the child alone and let him do what he likes?

It’s easier, much easier to kick a child’s butt or somehow force him to do something, or vice versa, not to do something, than to develop yourself as a whole, send yourself to the gym, to the library, change jobs, stop drinking, change your way of thinking and interactions with others. Show love, kindness and wisdom in family relationships and activities. The bottom line is - start with yourself!

By treating the birth of children this way, it is possible to avoid the pitfalls of excessive maternal or paternal “love”, because remains in the relationship natural system values ​​and increasing responsibility towards children who become our teachers.

It is strange to guess whether this question will ever arise before you, and whether you will begin to look for an answer to it. After all, the family is the hearth and spark that has kept and will keep afloat the many millions of generations of the inhabitants of planet Earth. But theoretically, it is still important to know why each of us needs a family, why family is so important and why people who do not have a family live even less.

Why does a person need a family?

It may happen that you are faced with a choice: do I want to start my own family? Do I need this now? Do I want to take responsibility? Will I be able to care and provide? Will I create happy family?

Let such questions not be blasphemous and “wrong” for you. Remember once and for all: you can look for answers to any questions, think, search for the truth - this is what makes a person different from animals.

What, exactly, is the family for - this, as mothers and grandmothers are used to telling us, “a unit of society”? Why put stamps and hang labels, if today - in a century that glorifies open relationship, gender equality and all sorts of courage - can you do without a family?

Perhaps you quite reasonably believe that you are able to provide for yourself, and do not need the family as a social factor; you consider it a burden and a separate expense item. Let's try to look at this from both sides and think about it: why do we need a family?

Yes, of course, times are changing. Values ​​come and go, life moves faster and becomes more intense. Of course, you can always devote your life to yourself alone: ​​traveling, climbing career ladder, change partners and spend time in search of new sensations... But sooner or later, human instinct calls us to settle down, continue our family line and leave that very mark on the earth.

Do you need a family or not?

Do you know what a family is for? To always know where to return. Know that they are waiting for you. They love. Support. To know that in a huge, sometimes cold and cruel world, there are always those who are on your side in any situation. Understand that you can always come home and meet the gaze of warm, loving eyes.

Family is always needed by everyone and is incomparable with anything and cannot be replaced by anything. And, if you look at it, it’s stupid to try to understand why you need a family and whether you need it or not. Absolutely everyone needs a family, this is how we are built - this has been going on for thousands of years and this is how it should be. After all, if our parents had decided that they didn’t need a family at all, you wouldn’t be reading this article now and wouldn’t be thinking about the importance and necessity family hearth.

At the same time, remember that a happy family– this is the result of hard work, and you need to be prepared for this work.

Why is family important to us?

Family in society is a very important niche, and one of the important social institutions each state that performs a multitude of insane important functions. One of many is the reproductive function. And here, when children appear, the family truly becomes a family. A family consists of children (child), father and mother.

Each member of the family plays a role and determines the importance of such an institution as the family. Let's look at the importance of family by its members.

Why is the mother's role in the family important?

The role of the mother is important in the family because thanks to her and the man children are born. From the very moment a child is born, a mother gives love and care to her children and husband, gives warmth and provides home comfort in the house. Basically, only the mother can help children determine their strengths and weaknesses.

She helps her children understand that they deserve something in this life. The mother is the “three pillars” on which the whole family rests. She not only helps to fight the shortcomings of the whole family, the future of their children depends on her life principles, behavior, and attitude towards life. It has been noted more than once that the way the mother taught her son to behave with representatives of the opposite sex is how he will continue to build his family.

Why is the role of the father in the family important?

Why do you need a family that doesn't have a dad? After all, the role of the father is important in the family because he helps a woman become a mother and then immediately takes part in the development and upbringing of the child. If there is a father in the family, then such children will understand what responsibility is and in the future will be sensitive to their family.

Depending on how a man behaves with his wife and mother of his children, the children will have the same attitude towards their future spouses if there is a boy growing up in the family. If a girl grows up in a family, she will inherit her mother’s behavior and will look for a man for herself, following the example of her father.

A child in a family is a little sun that radically changes the life and feelings of its members. So, after the birth of a child, a woman becomes softer and more understanding. A man becomes more responsible and caring.

But there is one good quote: “A child is not the cement on which a marriage should be held, but a small, fragile creature for harmonious development who needs the love of his parents, and not just the presence of people of both sexes.” The child, in a certain principle, sets the meaning of the family’s life and gives it a new direction.

Why is family important for each of us? Because in a family people provide each other with help and support. Surviving alone is much more difficult. According to statistics, lonely people, especially men, live shorter lives, take longer to recover from illnesses, and more often visit doctors at a more advanced stage of the disease.

Now you know why you need a family. The importance of family in the life of any person cannot be overestimated. People who say that they don’t need or care about family are not telling the truth, or they are too young and have not yet realized how important it is to have a family.