Why do children in the same family grow up so different? Identical and Dissimilar: why there are such different children in one family.

Each of us can name many examples when children from the same family are absolutely different from each other. They are radically different in character. For example, the eldest son is a wonderful family man, an excellent worker and is respected by others. And the younger offspring have a craving for alcohol, lazy, cannot find a permanent job and all the time gets into some unsightly situations.

It would seem that hereditary traits are decisive. Half of them the child receives from the mother, and the other half from the father. Therefore, logically, children from the same parents should have the same heredity. But this is a superficial approach, which is refuted by practice.

Rice. Why don't children from the same family look alike?

It is also necessary to take into account the environment, personal experience, the specifics of education, the attitude of parents to each other. For all these contributing factors psychologists allocate 50%, but the second 50% fall just on heredity. That is, it turns out that children are only half alike.

But in this second half, not everything is identical. One child in more, and the other in a smaller one. The same goes for hard work. However, differences in children can be quite significant. It is impossible for two kids to have exactly the same talents or flaws. One will still have a little more of them, while the other will have less.

And now let's talk about environment. It is she who forms personal qualities on the basis of the acquired life experience. Here you should know that the experience acquired outside the family influences the character to a much greater extent than the skills and behaviors that are instilled in father's house. It so happened that the outside world has a more effective effect on small people than the family hearth.

However, it must be understood that kindergarten, school and street interact with a certain base laid down in infancy. But it may differ for the first, second and third child. This is due to the fact that parents different periods time do not behave in the same way.

At the birth of the first child, the father and mother may have one financial position, and at the birth of a second child - already another. Age, experience, and family crises. All this affects adults and.

At first, everything can be fine in the family, and the born baby will fully experience the caress and care of his parents. And then the scandals start financial difficulties, which fall just at the birth of a second baby. In this case, he falls into negative environment. It will affect him in the most unpleasant way in the future. personal qualities. But the third child will be born when black line will end. little man will be brought up in a calm and friendly atmosphere, and his character in such a development of events will radically differ from the character of the second child.

We should also not forget that older and younger children live in different family niches. The first baby claims to be the leader. The second child, as it were, is in the shadow of the older one. At the same time, parents sometimes treat him with more love. In some cases, this is emphasized so clearly that the firstborn begins to experience feelings of jealousy. However, the opposite also happens. The second child could be unwanted for the mother even at conception. Therefore, love for him is not as ardent and strong as for the firstborn.

Exists great amount patterns of behavior in families. And they change over the years. Hence the dissimilarity of children brought up in the same family by the same parents is observed. In principle, mother and father become completely different people over the years. Together with them, the general atmosphere in the house undergoes changes. All this is reflected in the characters of their beloved children. In this case, heredity can remain unchanged, because it is laid down at the genetic level.

But genes are genes, and the harsh prose of life dictates its own laws. However, in any case, parents are simply obliged to create an atmosphere in the family filled with reverent care and love towards their offspring. This is necessary for happy childhood And proper development personality. At the same time, parents should not treat their children equally. Every child should have individual approach due to the nature of his character.

"Why are both children in our family so different? After all, they grow up in the same family, and we raised them the same way. The first is serious, conscientious, studies well, and the second has only mischief in his mind." This question, which is often asked at meetings with parents, has to be answered with another question: “Yes, you live in the same family. But is it true that you and your children live in the same family? For example, I am sure of the opposite."

Your first child, having come into this world, met with mom and dad and certain time was only child.

Your second child was never an only child and always lived in a family where, in addition to him and his parents, there was another child.

The firstborn is always the firstborn. He received more love, attention and more experienced the consequences of parents' anxiety, felt the inconsistency of their attitude. He experienced the bitterness of "deposed from the throne" after the appearance of a second child. The younger one appeared in a calmer atmosphere, but, having come into this world, he met not only with his parents, but also with his predecessor. However, to all this, we must add another equally important factor, which manifests itself in the structure interpersonal relationships families.

The first-born is the first to "probe", find " weak spots"parents and adapts to them. He finds peculiar ways of behavior in the family, with the help of which he feels his importance, receives necessary attention parents. For example, the firstborn feels that the attention of the parents is due to what new skills he has mastered, what new things he has learned, that the love of the parents depends on how much he helps at home, how much he is able to keep order, etc. In other words, the eldest takes on the role of "little assistant."

The second child after the infancy period (the mother's unconditional love) finds himself in a situation of choosing the means by which he can achieve the love and attention of his parents. Unlike the older one, to whom all paths were open, the baby is in more difficult situation. If he builds his relationship with his parents according to senior models, in our case - to strive for the role of an assistant, then he runs the risk of remaining "in the shadow" of the elder. Often younger children try to behave like older ones, but the attitude of parents to their still inept attempts is different, and the further choice depends on this. Encouragement even for trying to act like an older brother or sister is a rather rare phenomenon, although only such an attitude can contribute to the adoption by the younger of an internal attitude similar to that of the elder.

Then, under favorable other conditions, we observe cooperation in the family, that is, the brothers, without competing with each other, strive, for example, to help their parents as much as possible, take on certain household duties, or together form the backbone of the courtyard football team. However, the opposite is more often observed. The attempt of the child to follow the elder, of course, at first absurd, inept, funny, evokes a condescending smile from adults, is first set as an example, and then such attempts are ignored. Following the elder, the baby himself often perceives his weakness, insignificance, in other words, falls into the "shadow" of the elder, remains behind him. The kid can rush "after" the elder, with great zeal to develop in himself the abilities for full-fledged competition and in the hope of someday becoming better than him, stronger in some significant respect. Nevertheless, children more often choose an easier and simpler way - to find their own, individual way of feeling significant in the family, receiving attention and love from their parents.

The situation of the development of the second child can be figuratively represented in the form of such a diagram-drawing (Fig. 1).

Picture 1.

In this picture, the sun is a prototype ancient symbol well-being - depicts parental love and attention. The first child (tree No. 1) finds its "way to the sun" - certain ways of getting love, encouraging parents (for example, taking on the role of a little helper, the role of a child in constant need of supervision, etc.). In other words, he seems to leave a certain shadow behind him; if the second behaves in the same way as the first, then, being younger, not having sufficient life practice, he will remain weaker in this respect, will be "always the second." And this is perceived by the child as damage to the sense of his significance, moreover, being less perfect in certain forms behavior than an older child, he can really notice that he gets less praise, good-natured attention from his parents, but instead he constantly needs to follow someone's example.

The second child, like the real tree in the presented picture, has to find his own way to get out of the "shadow", to get through to the "sun" - that is, to "probe" those ways of behavior that would provide him with parental attention, perception and love of him as an individual, incomparable person. The following example can serve as an example of the logic of the development of the personality of the second child.

The first child is a boy of seven years old, obedient, flexible. He strives to master new skills, knowledge, especially in those areas that seem important to his parents. At school from the first days he studies only very well, which delights his parents. He, as his mother says, is serious, disciplined, you can rely on him. The second boy, two years younger, is "living silver" (similar to mercury). He is restless, he has only various tricks, jokes on his mind, he cannot seriously do anything, he would only fool around.

On closer acquaintance with the family, you would undoubtedly see the reasons for such a different personal development children. The second child owes this development, firstly, to his creative attitude to the environment, secondly, to the way the first child behaves, and, thirdly, personality traits your parents. The mother, talking about the second, "problem" child, talking about his tricks, still cannot help smiling. Why?

The second child, subconsciously accepting the role of a jester in the family, with his spontaneity, playfulness, unconventional behavior, brought what both parents and the whole family needed - emotionality. And he found this, relying not on some kind of knowledge, super-sense, etc. Everything is much simpler - as soon as he began to behave in a different way than his brother, namely the way he behaves now, he felt attention to to himself, to his individual manifestations and, finally, a smile and disinhibition in the behavior of parents. Figuratively speaking, he got out of the "shadow" of his brother, found a way to feel his importance without competing with him.

The elder communicates with parents on an "adult level" - shares ideas, questions them, etc. The second one - on a childish, direct, emotional level. Each of them fills a certain "ecological niche" in the family, while receiving the necessary "psychological food" - a sense of significance, love and attention of parents to them as individual and autonomous people. This contributes to the development of benevolent and tolerant relationship between brothers: both brothers communicate well with each other: the younger one is a constant inventor, generator of ideas, and the older one is an intellectual controller, implementer, leader.

Is it good or bad that children choose such different forms behavior? The question is complex, and it is probably impossible to answer it unambiguously. In the case described, the brothers, as it were, complement each other, make the life of the whole family more diverse and complete. And yet the second child also causes some anxiety: can he become a decent person? Surely if emotional connection parents with him will last, you should not worry about this, although it is obvious that he will be a completely different person than his brother. You can look at their difference from the point of view of the philosophy of everyday consciousness: all people are beautiful and valuable in their own way. How boring the world would be if the same personalities lived in it.

However, there is not only such a philosophy of life, but also scientific arguments in favor of the fact that a tolerant, somewhat condescending attitude towards the ways of personality development is one of important factors mental health developing person. Many facts have been accumulated in psychology that the unreasonable desire to "make something out of a child", "reshape" him according to the often fantastic ideas of parents, that is, intolerance towards individual, creative (in broad sense words) manifestations of the child, as a rule, leads to disastrous results: distorted attitudes towards others and oneself, protest, negativism, and often to mental disorders.

In some families, monotonous, often unjustified rigid ideas about how a child should behave, what to be and even ... who to be twenty years from now flourish! Of course, such a set of rules falls heavy burden on the development of each child in the family, but this is a separate issue. Let's confine ourselves to the situation of the second child, who in this case finds himself in a very difficult position. It can also be figuratively represented in the form of a diagram-drawing (Fig. 2).

Figure 2.

Its difference from Figure 1 is that parental requirements set very strict restrictions. possible behavior child. The first-born quickly recognizes them and, if they are not too contrary to his psychological needs, adapts to them. The psychological space, or "the light of the parental sun", is completely obscured for the second, the barriers surround it from all four sides. The desire of the second "break into the light" is constantly blocked by the restrictions of the parents and indirectly - by the chosen path of development of the firstborn.

The second can choose the path of following the elder and somehow exist in his "shadow". In this case, he constantly receives less parental love and attention as an autonomous, unique being. This hurts his self-esteem, his sense of self-worth. Just as a real tree growing in such conditions remains undersized and underdeveloped, so a child in such a position does not personally develop in himself vitality. However similar conditions developments cannot, at least occasionally, not cause protest, search for a way out of the situation. In the decision similar situation at least three strategies can be observed.

First strategy. The second child very early begins to perceive the elder as an obstacle standing between him and his parents. This leads to competitive relations with him and begins to manifest itself in a feeling of envy, the desire to humiliate the elder in the eyes of his parents, snitching, excessive boasting in order to artificially increase his significance. Such behavior is dictated by a distorted inference: "I will be valued and loved when I surpass the elder, and all means are good to achieve this goal." The elder, as a rule, quickly catches the "dishonest game" of the younger (sneaking, boasting, deceit) and, for his part, punishes the baby for this with his own means or humiliates, discredits him in the eyes of his parents. He, in turn, either tries to directly "overcome" the elder, or even more violently resorts to "forbidden" methods, for example, tries to slander the elder, does something illegal and shifts the blame on the elder. This again inflates the elder. And so on.

Thus, a vicious circle is formed in which competitive, extremely tense relations are growing, which, as a rule, leads to a variety of pronounced violations (mainly in the youngest child), to long-term enmity, hatred between brothers. Probably, you, too, had to deal with a seemingly inexplicable enmity between already adult sisters and brothers and be stunned by it. In eight cases out of ten, these are echoes of childhood battles. The described situation is just figuratively presented in Fig. 3.

Figure 3

Second strategy. The child directs his energy not to compete with his brother, but to break parental restrictions (Fig. 4). The internal position in this case, as it were, directs the child's behavior at the same time against the parents and at the same time seeking contact with them: "I will force you to reckon with me as I am." Although the child's desperate desire to fight against the limitations of the parents expresses a felt uselessness, rejection, emotional coldness, it is very rarely perceived by the parents in this way. More often - as a manifestation of "badness", as a result of insufficiently strict upbringing, spoiledness, etc.

Thus, the desire of the child to break through the restriction meets with the growth of restrictions on the part of the parents, with their tightening. Created vicious circle: protest against restrictions - tighter restrictions - stronger protest, etc. With age, the child's protest reactions become stronger. At the end of elementary school and especially in adolescence a considerable part of offenses is committed as a kind of protest against the family situation, as an illusory means of solving it.

Figure 4

Third strategy. It is shown in fig. 5. The tree, instead of growing up towards the sun, turns back into the earth. I don’t know how realistic this is in nature, but something similar sometimes happens with regard to personality development. The child in such cases, as it were, completely refuses to fight for himself, loses hope of achieving a sense of his own significance and love from others. With all his behavior, he seems to be saying to the world: "Don't you see how worthless I am? So leave me alone!" This is a closed, non-communicative child, who seems to do nothing all day long. If an adult tries to help him, to deal with him, he seems to deliberately show his stupidity, awkwardness. "Leave me alone" - this is the internal position of the child, in the psychological aspect of being in the most difficult situation.

Figure 5

Summarizing, we can say that the development of the second child is easier and more complete in cases where parents are sympathetic to various and diverse manifestations of personality, have the ability to perceive and love their children as they are. This gives both children a chance to find acceptable non-competitive positions in relation to each other, saves emotional contact between parents and children.

Such "unconstrained" development may seem to some to be completely uncontrollable. In fact, it is not direct manipulation through a system of strict restrictions that is more effective in education, but faith in the wisdom of a developing person, his support and emotional warmth. This is the basis for small man he himself understood the world around him, was brave enough to follow the chosen path, and at the same time so that he could openly, with affection and tenderness, look his parents in the eyes.

The analysis of a family with two children will not be complete if we keep silent about the "natural" circumstances that facilitate the development of the first and second child. At first glance, it seems that families in which children of opposite sexes grow up are in a psychologically more favorable situation. Traditionally with very early age boys and girls meet different requirements. In our culture, for example, boys are more often rewarded for initiative, courage, enterprise, independence, and even aggressiveness. The traditions of upbringing aim boys at the vast world of social and labor relations. Girls are expected to grow up gentle, sincere, sensitive, sympathetic. They are directed to the limited sphere of social action, to a deep and subtle understanding human relations, per family.

Thus, brother and sister rarely clash violently with each other if their behavior is in line with the parents' expectations. Competitive, difficult relationships in such families arise mainly because of the parents' clear preference for one sex. Most often, these are boys at least in European culture. It is possible that the preference male refers to the relics of the bygone feudal system, in which the boy is both the heir and the successor of the clan, and the physical strength that protects the family. Be that as it may, a clear desire to have only a boy (rarely girls) leads to striking intra-family psychological problems.

Girls growing up in masculine-oriented families often begin to feel inferior because of their gender. The desire for significance, which is interpreted as follows: "I will be loved and desired if I am equal in everything with a boy" - leads to the acceptance male forms behavior, the assimilation of male values. In such cases, a sharp competition between sister and brother develops, which increasingly distances the girl from the "female" ways of self-expression. In almost every yard you can find a girl chasing a ball with the boys, running a race with them and even dressed like a boy. In essence, these girls demonstrate a peculiar adaptation to the prevailing values ​​in the family. As a rule, such behavior does not give the desired feeling of significance - no matter how hard you try, you will still remain a girl. Even despite the well-learned "boyishness", they are constantly under the threat of exacerbating the internal conflict "who am I?": "I am a girl - I am a boy."

This contradiction makes itself felt as soon as the familiar social environment(new place of residence, kindergarten, school, etc.), when their boyish behavior causes bewilderment and ridicule of others. Internal conflict worsens at puberty. There is a feeling of inadequacy of one's own behavior, a painful experience of inferiority. At the same time, the girl begins to look at the boys as something else, and the boys' relationship to her is colored with the tones of first love, the expectation of something more than from a simple companion of children's games.

All this either leads a young girl to a radical restructuring of her usual ways of behaving and understanding the world, or fences her off from her peers: “I am nothing and can’t make friends with anyone,” or the girl shows her boyish features even more clearly, trying to keep up and even overtake boys in their most daring undertakings. In the latter case, the masculine personality of a woman develops, which, along with a strong, resolute attitude to life, has to constantly experience the situation of the "white crow" both among women and among men. Often such an outwardly tough woman hides high sensitivity, vulnerability and a sense of alienation behind such a look.

All young parents and relatives of the family in the first time after childbirth are very concerned about who the child looks like. Some see him as more of a father figure, others as a mother. But newborns change rapidly, so the final similarity with one or another parent appears only at a more or less adult age. Throughout this process of forming a new person, the older members of the family do not get tired of wondering why the baby has absorbed so many traits of one and not the other parent.

Such different genes

Everything - external features, character, even how a person will make the most important decisions in life - very much depends on the genes that he got. 50% of it genetic material the baby receives from the mother, the second 50% - from his father. But each of the parents, in turn, inherited 50% of the genes from their parents, and those from their own, and so on. As a result of these constant mixings (as geneticists say, "crossings"), a whole genetic cocktail is contained in the cell of each human individual.

Genes according to the share of their participation in the structure of a new organism are divided into dominant and recessive.

TO dominant in general, the human population includes genes for normal vision and hearing, right-handedness, average height, normal glucose uptake, dark hair and thousands of other features. Most people fit these traits sorted by evolution over millions of years.

recessive considered genes for blindness and deafness, left-handedness, abnormally high or short stature, tendencies to diabetes, blond hair, etc. People with such features in the population are in the minority. All these genes - recessive and dominant - and determine the features of each new generation.

Gene compatibility and appearance of children

But each branch (kind) of people has its own dominant and recessive genes. In the genus of the father, for example, genes for red hair and caulking may be dominant. If the mother's DNA contains the same recessive gene, but it did not appear in her appearance (for example, a woman is a blonde with clear skin), then most of the children of this couple will probably be red and freckled.

Blondes with clear skin will be in the absolute minority. There is also a high probability of the appearance of red-haired babies without cannabis. The father will be very proud that the offspring all, as one, went to him. In fact, the corresponding genes of the parents simply met.

But even if the mother does not have the “redness and freckles” gene, at least one of her four children will be an exact copy of the red-haired father. Here is another law of genetics: the dominant gene of each parent appears in a ratio of 1:2:1 (in any order). It is expressed approximately like this: one descendant will be blond, the other will be red and freckled, and two more will have mixed signs of both parents. Moreover, all attempts are counted: even if the mother decided not to give birth to a child and had an abortion, crossing has already taken place and a “cocktail” of genes has formed. Next pregnancy, which ended in childbirth or miscarriage, is the second option for crossing. And so it will continue until the couple will conceive children.

We must not forget that there are many dominant and recessive genes in each DNA, therefore There can be many possible combinations. Only the "strongest" will manifest themselves and be noticeable in the appearance and character of the child. published

photo © Yulia Taits

Why is this happening? It would seem that the children of the same parents are similar in a biological sense. They grow up in the same family, in a similar environment. Why are their characters and behavior so different?

The fact is that the life of one child, starting from the moment of conception, is not a copy of the life of another. Children are born at different times in the life of their parents. Let's say that at the time the situation in the family was calm and happy. But when the second one was born, the situation was difficult and stressful, there were conflicts between the parents.

Or one child was planned, and the conception of another happened by accident, unexpectedly. For these reasons, even the periods of uterine life in children are different. Interestingly, even identical twins can have very different personalities.

We give children only the body

Giving birth to a child, we give him only physical body. It is a mistake to think that we also give him character, temperament, destiny. This is given to him by the Almighty. Therefore, we can only partially influence the fate of the child. How? By the fact that we raise him, educate him, give him the warmth of our soul, instill life values that seem right to us, we teach how to behave with other people and in society, we teach him the rules of morality, etc.

Do not think that all this is instilled with words, teachings and instructions. On the contrary, it is transmitted only personal example. What kind of atmosphere the child sees in the family, that he will consider the norm, he will perceive such a model and repeat it in his life.

Therefore, if family members yelled at each other and insulted, but at the same time, mom or dad told the child that they should treat each other with respect, these will be an empty phrase, because he absorbed a different atmosphere from childhood. She seems to him the norm, and he will repeat it, because the other is not familiar to him.

polarization effect

I must say that sometimes parents themselves feed the difference between their children. They praise one child, scold another, thus, they unwittingly oppose them to each other. As a result, the difference between children is getting bigger and bigger.

Why is this happening? The mother or father praises the child whose manifestations are similar to his own. For example, a mother praises her son for being modest, obedient, affectionate. But the daughter is growing up as a rebellious individualist. It is difficult to manage, so the mother does not like this character, especially in adolescence. As a result, she blames her. With the father, the opposite is true: he likes the character of his daughter and does not like the character of his son. And although parents outwardly try to act at the same time, but the children feel different attitude towards oneself, so the psychological polarization intensifies.

Perhaps when a parent praises one child and constantly blames another, he does it out of good intentions, hoping that the second will take an example from the first and catch up. In fact, it turns out the other way around, the second one is moving away more and more, and the difference between them only increases.

We give children education and life values

As mentioned above, character, temperament, and we can not change. The parental task is to give children what is called “cutting”. We must do everything to bring up our offspring as best as possible, to give them better education that they are capable of. Our duty is to prepare them for life in such a way that by the time they enter free swimming, our children will be literate, independent people, fully adapted to life.

There is no need to compare them with each other. He's not a chicken in an incubator, so they don't have to be the same. Each of them came into the world with their own task and their own way of life. We did not give them, it is not for us to change them.

Our job is to create the most Better conditions for growth and development, so that he grows up strong and has as many useful skills as possible. And among themselves, they say, “this good one, listens to his mother and does as she tells, and that bad one, does everything in his own way, does not respect the opinion of the mother” - this approach will not give positive result. Recognize every child's right to their own life and their own path.

People often wonder why, it would seem, children from the same family and from the same parents different tempers sometimes diametrically opposed. Parents in such cases only shrug their shoulders and assure that they raised and loved everyone equally. Psychologists have found the answer to this mystery: it turns out that the matter is in the order in which children are born.

According to psychologists, the order of birth leaves a big imprint on the character of children. Of course, this is primarily due to the peculiarities of their upbringing and relations between family members. Watch the families of your friends and see if this is true.

So, senior the child is usually a leader by nature, as he has to become independent early (parents are forced to be distracted from him in order to raise other children) and in many cases take responsibility for the younger ones. However, the first-born can provoke and conflict situations. If he is already used to being the only one, and a second baby appears in the family, the elder may be jealous, offended by his parents for inattention to his person, refuse to participate in caring for the younger. If the elder accepts the younger, then this often helps him become more organized and disciplined, as well as develop his abilities and intelligence. It is the older children in the family who often reach professional success and career heights.

Medium children, as a rule, grow up as "diplomats". After all, their parents devote the least time to them; in addition, they have to learn to get along with their elders and younger brothers or sisters. For the "average" are characterized by flexibility and the ability to compromise. They easily adapt to any team. IN adulthood they may not make a big career, but they will be valued for their non-conflict nature and ability to build relationships with others. Such individuals are more suited to work with people. The only "fly in the ointment" is that the "middlings" can feel deprived of parental love and suffer from this, sometimes all their lives.

Junior children usually receive much more love, care and attention than older and middle-aged ones. Therefore, they often grow up spoiled and dependent, get used to counting on the help of other people. They do not like to take responsibility and do not know how to make decisions on their own. At the same time, "younger" ones often develop non-standard thinking, they are endowed with creative abilities (this is the result of the fact that in childhood a lot of attention was paid to their internal development). But they are sickened by regular work and routine. A typical situation is when the eldest in the family is a careerist or a businessman, and the youngest becomes a person of a free profession - a musician or an artist. Moreover, his activities often do not bring profit. As a result, he is forced to turn again to his relatives for help.

The only children rarely grow up to be ordinary people. After all, parents give them maximum attention. Therefore, on the one hand, they have leadership inclinations On the other hand, they get the opportunity to develop in accordance with their natural inclinations (of course, if their parents do not put too much pressure on them). The only danger is that only child easy to spoil, so he can grow up dependent, unable to take a step without parents. At wrong upbringing such a person begins to consider himself the center of the universe and believes that everyone owes him something. Sometimes, on the contrary, he grows up too independent, an individualist: because of his non-standard, he hardly builds relationships with others.

However, this whole classification is rather conditional, since only typical situations. And there may be atypical ones: for example, children from different marriages, foster children, sick or disabled children. The situation may change due to the death of one of the children, the departure of one of the children from the family, as well as the appearance of new children.

You should also take into account the difference in age. So, if the difference between the children is more than fifteen years, then the personality of the eldest child, most likely, has already formed as the personality of the only one, and one should hardly expect any serious changes.

It is also impossible to discount the fact that parents can have their favorites among their children. It happens that they love the older or middle one more than the younger one. Or the mother loves one child more, and the father loves the other. Naturally, this cannot but affect the formation of children's personalities. In general, in each separate case an individual approach is needed.