Another level: how to push a man to make serious changes in a relationship. How to push a man to propose to a woman: psychological tricks

Question to a psychologist

I am 30, my young man is 25. I am already ready for the wedding. And especially for the birth of a child. Please help me how to behave correctly in order to gently lead a man to such a decision. Before that, I had relationships with men 10 years older than me. I understand ... that there is no universal remedy, but I will be very grateful to you. Thank you in advance!

Veronica

how to behave correctly in order to gently bring a man to such a decision

Veronica, you are right -

Veronica

that there is no universal

therefore, an individual approach is required, which you can develop on your own with the help of the author's Internet course “How to attract love. Unique technique" - http://psiholog-dnepr.com.ua/therapeutic-group/training-2

Sincerely, Kiselevskaya Svetlana, psychologist, master.

Good answer 6 bad answer 1

Hello Veronica! let's see what's going on:

I am already ready for the wedding. And especially for the birth of a child. Please help me how to behave correctly in order to gently lead a man to such a decision.

but you do not write anything about, IS YOUR man READY for marriage and family? what does he say about this? what are his priorities? What does marriage mean to HIM? or he announces to you that he is not ready and does not want - THEN no matter how much you try or manipulate (because FORCE men to marry if HE DOES NOT want, perhaps using various such methods - BUT in the end YOU WILL GET MARRIAGE, but think about it, what kind of relationship does it have??? and do you need it?) You need to understand how mature YOUR young man is! And already proceeding from this to make a decision! what does he think??? how does he feel about marriage? did you tell him that you are ready for marriage and that your time is running out?

Veronica, if you decide to figure out what is happening - feel free to contact me - call me, I work with similar problems - I will be glad to help you!

Shenderova Elena Sergeevna, psychologist Moscow

Good answer 6 bad answer 0

Let me down? Maybe just voice your desires out loud? No manipulation? Just say that you WOULD LIKE to have a family and children. ALL. More is not needed. A man needs to know what you're thinking. Maybe he also wants the same, but is afraid of rejection. But you tell me about your desires, to which TV has every right. And then let the man decide for himself whether he wants a family with you or not ... Persistence, "letting down", some kind of manipulation will only push the guy away .. Honesty and openness, the ability to talk about your desires, needs, but not demand anything - this very correctly and this is the basis on which you can build a good, honest and stable relationship. Just tell, but do not demand from the guy "I want a family - get married." No, no .. Give the martyr a chance to prove himself a man and make the decision to be or not to be your husband. Understand? Perseverance is a bad helper in

Make sure he's ready to commit. Although you have probably been together for more than a year, or even 5 years, this does not mean that he is ready for marriage. After all, some men want to get married, but only when they are fully prepared for it. The concept of "ready" is complex and often includes the feeling that the guy has "worked up", had enough adventures, had a good time, is financially stable, has matured enough and is ready to settle down. All these are good reasons, so you should not ignore the opinion of the guy and force him to do what he is not ready for.

• Make sure he feels affection for you in every way, not just as a girl. This could mean that he moves with you through life, raises a common pet, moves in with you to a new place of residence, or even plunges into your social circle.
• Ask about his previous relationship experience. If it is quite significant, you should not be jealous, even for the better that the guy had some experience with women. Most likely, now he has less desire to "walk" and check what kind of girls are in the area.

Make sure it's the most opportune time in his life. All relationships are different. Many couples who get married after just a year or 2 years of intercourse are just as happy as couples who have been waiting for marriage for 5 or 10 years. If it's not the right time in a guy's life, it doesn't matter how long you've been together.

• If he is still trying to build a career, all his friends are single and not even in a permanent relationship, or he has not yet sorted out a bunch of personal problems, then it's not time for him to get married.
• If he does not feel stable personally, financially, or even physically, then his mind, perhaps, is occupied with completely different things.
• But still, keep in mind that there is no perfect time to get married. If there is no sense of "perfect time" for many years, there are probably more serious problems.

Make sure that without you he does not see his future. Moreover, he should not imagine a future life without you. Sure, you've been together for 3 years, but does that mean he wants to spend the next 30 years with you? If he starts every conversation about the future with "We..." and mentions moving in together, buying a house, or starting a family life, sure enough, he probably wants to be together forever.

• If he never talks about what's going to happen in just six months, even if you're planning to attend a wedding together, or if he's going to study abroad in the summer, he might just want to avoid the issue of marriage.

Feel his attitude towards marriage. Many men are very indifferent to marriage - they are not against marriage, but they also like the life of a bachelor. If this is the case, don't expect him to be as excited about marriage as you are, and acknowledge that this is a move he will make mainly because you want him to. You will have to push the guy a lot to get the wedding of your dreams.

• Besides, he probably doesn't want to marry anyone at all. Getting an offer from a guy who strongly doesn't believe in marriage is almost impossible.

3 chose

Let's say that the natural development of your relationship, which is about six months, brings you to the very point when something else must happen in them for you to decide to get married. After all, the decision to offer a woman a hand and a heart is one of the most significant in a man's life. And he will postpone it until he is absolutely sure that the woman suits him.

To give him confidence in this matter, you must show that you meet his needs, and whether you like it or not, you will have to lead him to the idea of ​​marriage. Or in a veiled form to make him an offer. To do it CORRECTLY, you need to take into account some circumstances.

Men are aware of the urgency of the problem for the woman and her concerns about the "biological clock" and the birth of children. But most of all they are worried about something else: to announce the engagement or wait a little longer - maybe something better will turn up? The man is in no hurry. Even if he loves you very much, he still thinks: "In other fields the grass is greener."

The fact that his friends are married can also influence the decision to get engaged. If the friends are single or divorced, he does not worry that he may be left out of work. He still has a company to hang out with. But if friends marry one after another, a man has anxiety: what if he will be the last? Such a thought stimulates him to conclude an engagement.

Perhaps every married woman you know, especially your mother, has told you the tale of her husband getting on his knees and romantically asking for her hand. In fact, everything is much more interesting, but a rare woman will agree to admit that she used some tricks to lure her chosen one. Especially if she actually made the offer.

Therefore, you should not let such an important matter take its course and be guided by such unpredictable help. Doesn't raise a question - don't, take control of the situation.

You have probably heard or read about the "Three" yes "method. It is most often used in business in business negotiations. The method is simple. You must ask two questions so that the opponent answers in the affirmative -" yes ". And when you ask the third question -request, he will not have the desire to disagree with you.The method of "Scheherazade's Enchantment" is built on the same principle, but has a more complex scheme.

It includes the following conditions:

1) Love atmosphere

2) Appropriate mood in a man or stimulants of memories

3) Communicate in the language of love: you need to catch the "wave of love"

Serious warning: Love charms are powerful weapons. It can help you get the Man of your dreams or break his heart. When you use enchantment to achieve your personal goals, you take on a serious responsibility. Use them accordingly.

Let's start with the theoretical section. I have no doubt that you already know something and, most likely, put it into practice, but you did it haphazardly and chaotically.

love atmosphere

Technique: one - smell, two - visual perception, three - auditory perception.

First of all, prepare the scenery and create an atmosphere conducive to the perception of love charms. You probably understand that this should be done indoors. If this is a date, then a pleasant and cute cafe, restaurant, chosen by you in advance. But the most successful place is your territory, and now you will understand why.

Regardless of whether you like to cook or not, you need to cook (order in a restaurant) something appetizing for your chosen one. The smell of food soothes a man. This effect has a deep, animal nature, so do not neglect it. You need to sharpen his feelings. Add to this the smell of his favorite perfume, which should come from you, or scented candles - ONCE.

For a visually pleasing experience, put on something that he will certainly like - seductive, but not defiantly sexy. Most importantly, try to reflect what you think he will wear himself.

Situation requirements. Your home should be filled with warmth, comfort and a sense of security, as a reminder of the mother's womb, - TWO.

And THREE. Take care of a pleasant noise design, I mean music. Choose a piece with a tempo of approximately sixty beats per minute, which coincides with the frequency of the heartbeat and is conducive to the perception of new information. Proven options: slow baroque pieces created by Bach, Vivaldi, Corelli, or something like that.

Relax after lunch or dinner. Sit next to your man in such a way that you can watch him and touch him. Make sure he is relaxed and ready to take in the information.

How to create the appropriate mood in a man? Use memory boosters.

Pay attention to the mood with which your man came on a date: exhausted by his own problems or in a good mood. Memory stimulants will be required if you need to return him to a good mood. Think of a funny story or anecdote. A sense of humor and healthy laughter relieve stress.

If it is still tight, give a relaxing head or neck massage. But don't use erotic massage, you don't need an excited man. Your task is only to relax him and set him up for communication in order to move on to the third part of this method - "catch the wave". The method consists of four statements.

The first three should be undeniable, obvious - with their help you will create a mood conducive to agreement, and prepare it for the desired reaction to the fourth statement.

The scheme is this: pronounce the first two statements in "his language", the third statement - in your own, the fourth, fixing, again in his.

For example, your man shows reluctance to build a relationship with you with the prospect of commitment. Your task is to reconfigure it. At the same time, you know that your chosen one is a visual person, and you are an auditory one. The first statement might sound like this:

• Now that I see us sitting together... (first statement made in the visual language of love)
• Admiring the man who is nearby ... (second visual statement)
• And listening to beautiful music… (transition to auditory, your love language)
• Can you imagine how wonderful our summer vacation together will be? (you're back to visual language).

After such statements, the scales of his doubts will largely tilt towards possible prospects in your relationship.


Rosa Syabitova, "How to make anyone fall in love with you"

A wedding is what every woman dreams of. Even men want to marry the one they can call the only one. But there is one catch in all this: a man is not particularly eager for a wedding.

Love and the stamp in the passport have no connection. Both lovers must have a predisposition. If a man does not want a wedding, then there is no need to insist, although we will say further how to do it correctly. The psychology of love does not fit in with the legal subtleties.

Why does a man not want to get married

Remember that a wedding is just a celebration for guests, a formality. A stamp in your passport won't change anything, absolutely nothing. It makes no difference how you celebrate your wedding - modestly, with your family, or magnificently, spending a tidy sum.

A man understands this, clearly realizing the consequences of making such a decision. It is a huge responsibility and a huge job to organize all this. Many people just don't want it. So, here are the main reasons why men do not want a wedding.

Fear of the unknown. Yes, this is a weighty argument, because at a young age, men simply do not know what will happen there, beyond the bachelor life. Even worse, if a man has never lived with a girl, but marries, leaving his father's house. Men are not ready for such risks. It is terrible to understand that you are headlong into the water, in which anything can swim.

I do not want to organize a holiday. This is a big responsibility, and weddings for men do not happen every month. The first wedding is a huge stress, because a man needs to think about many things, spend a lot of time and money.

Common sense. Think for yourself, is there any difference how you will get married - magnificently with a million guests, or together, just by signing at the registry office? There is no difference, because you can arrange a modest holiday, together with loved ones, at the table, quietly and calmly. If you need to register your relationship, then do it like any other legal formality - just go where you need to, sign the papers. The money that you would spend on a wedding can be spent on travel, buying something important. This is exactly what a man thinks, and therefore does not offer you to marry.

He is not sure about you. This is a more fixable problem in the vast majority of cases. Perhaps you have lived together too little or have not yet gathered at all. In this case, you shouldn't be surprised. You need to win the trust of a man, and not just impress. Of course, sometimes this is enough, because people are different. Someone marries a month after they met, and then lives together all their lives, and someone marries after 7 years of marriage, and after a couple of years they disperse. Life is unpredictable.

He's not ready. He needs freedom. He hasn't walked much yet, so he doesn't want to marry you. If he is, say, 20 years old, then what kind of wedding can we talk about? Girls and boys think differently. He sees the world differently than you.

He doesn't want to leave his mother. There are men who love their mother more than anything in the world. This is good, but sometimes mothers attach their sons to themselves so strongly that it borders on insanity. In such cases, even just dating a man is difficult, not to mention the wedding.

You put pressure on him. Do not constantly repeat that you want to get married. So the man is only more convinced that he does not need it. Under pressure, only a weak-willed person, or a person who does not care about everything, will marry. Even if you succeed, you will automatically lose.

He doesn't want to marry you. This should be considered as a last resort. Simply put, he doesn't truly love you. He has a love, a craving for your body, but his soul is not ready to merge with yours. Perhaps he doesn’t know you well or is just disappointed with something. There can be many reasons, but most likely you will not be able to correct the situation. The worst thing is that you will not be able to find out the truth from him, because he is feeling good now, because he will not directly tell you that he does not want to marry you. If you are sure that there is no other reason, then you will have to understand what exactly is stopping him. Maybe you have some sins in the past. Here it is worth analyzing yourself, asking people who can tell you everything honestly about your behavior and actions.

How to marry a man

The first trick: you want to get married for real. Think about the reasons for your desire to put the ring on your ring finger as soon as possible. If you are pursuing some base goal such as tying a man to yourself, running away from your parental home, finding new emotions (the most common reason), because of stereotypes that it's time to get married, otherwise it will be too late, then you're better off do not propose a wedding to a man and do not agree to her. Do not look for reasons and reasons - find someone you want to marry for real. The one you want to stay with forever. A man will feel it, rest assured.

Trick two: don't tell him about it. This is perhaps the only stereotype that is really good. Let him propose himself. If you somehow hint at a wedding, a man can immediately smell something was wrong. Even if your goal is bright and pure, try not to put pressure on him.

The third trick: give him unforgettable emotions. This applies not only to bed games, but also to life in general. Do what other girls won't do for him. If he has been surrounded by female attention all his life, then you need to find a way to reduce it. You need to find a reason why you can see each other less often. Work would be the perfect reason. If he is jealous, don't make him jealous, don't piss him off. Give him what he wants. Be unusual - it's not that hard;

Trick four: prove your loyalty. You need to do this carefully when the time comes, and not so that you point to another man, saying how cool and good he is, and then turn to your man and say: "I love you anyway." After such words, you will not only not get married, you will not even earn his sympathy. Loyalty is tested by time. The trick is to make him trust you. Give him access to all accounts in social networks, to mail and so on. This is a very powerful argument. A man will like this because he will see that you can be trusted.

Cunning fifth: indifference to the wedding. If you happen to have a conversation about a wedding, then express very briefly what you think about marriage. Say that you absolutely do not care if you have a stamp in your passport. This will greatly elevate you in the eyes of your chosen one. This position is very "masculine", very rational. Show that you know how to think with your head, and do not rush into the pool.

Trick six: lull his fear. Plan things for the future together more often. Be one. Spend as much time as possible together, but do not impose. Do what the man wants. Express your protest and thoughts diplomatically. This will increase your chances of marriage. He is afraid that you have no future. Be patient, show him that you are not afraid of the future and know how to do everything together.

Trick seven: Win his mom's heart. This is just golden advice for every woman who wants to get married, but quickly. The mother of any man is a potential rival. We have already said above that for many guys or men, the opinion of the mother is the law. If you want to get married, then make his mother think that you are the perfect match. Pretend that you are very pleased to communicate with her, even if it's quite the opposite. In this way, you can very easily increase your chances of success. If the mother herself tells a man that he should marry, he will not be able to resist.

Here you are sitting and thinking that your love needs development, you need to reach a new level. No, it doesn `t need. Enjoy the presence of a person nearby. No need to splurge on your girlfriends, because you just want to outshine them all. This is the wrong motivation. Learn to love a man the right way. It's not as difficult as it seems. Good luck and don't forget to press the buttons and

The first rule, necessary but not sufficient for building a serious relationship, is: never push a man to make a commitment, do not get ahead of the curve by telling what you expect from a relationship and your chosen one. If you're up to the task, then the rest of the tips from Sherrri Argov (bestselling author of The Bitch Gets Married) will help you build a harmonious relationship.

A man pays attention to the smallest nuances. A woman may consider her behavior natural, and a man absolutely unacceptable. Funny and believable cases are often found in popular TV shows. For example, she settled her toothbrush in his bathroom without invitation, or he immediately gave her half a closet for clothes, and she, meeting with him for six months, continued to hang his clothes on a chair in the hallway. It's a shame.

At first, meeting with relatives or friends, do not introduce them to your man as a friend or boyfriend. So you are trying to give status to your relationship, while your task is to hide your interest. Relationships can only be strengthened voluntarily and on his initiative.

Remember that a man is a hunter at least considers himself a hunter. When you look at him with loving eyes, like Pronya Prokopovna looks at Golokhvastov, he begins to feel like a defenseless lamb. The romantic behavior of a young lady deprives a man of the main pleasure - to achieve reciprocity. Think about what is interesting in a woman who is ready in advance to fulfill any of his desires?

In conversation use short sentences. Never pester him with talk of his great love and useless chirping that takes up his business time “Hi honey. We broke up an hour ago, and I already miss you madly. I can't wait for the next meeting. What are you doing? What are you thinking now? I constantly re-read your text messages. What should he do if a platoon of plush tanks is moving towards him? The natural reaction is to run away, at least for a while.

Do not give a man your photos in frame. Such a gift should stand somewhere and catches the eye all the time. It looks like an attempt to stake out a place in his heart, home or office. Be neutral if he keeps photos of his ex-girlfriends or wife. Even after he offers you to move in with him, do not rush to put his personal memories in order.

Don't ask him about his family and do not introduce him to your relatives until you are sure that the guy has serious intentions. You don't want his mom to pester you with calls, dictating recipes for his favorite dishes, or your grandmother telling him that you are the main family jewel and asking about the date of the engagement.

Do not rush to jump to his bed. Don't turn your soul inside out. Don't trust him completely. Leave talk about difficult personal experiences, ex-boyfriends, childhood injuries and illnesses for girlfriends. Do not scare a man away with problems that have nothing to do with him.

Do not use the words “we”, “our”, “us”, “this is fate”, “soul mate”, “God himself sent you to me”. If you like these words, wait for him to say them himself. Any mention of "we" signals to him an encroachment on his "I". Do not scare him away ahead of time.

Do not demand complete trust from him. He has a box in his soul that says "None of your business" and it was there before you. Don't imagine that you can understand and forgive everything. Do not tell that you feed stray dogs, help the orphanage and sick old people.

Do not try to equip his apartment, to rearrange, even if everything is arranged incorrectly, and to introduce other feng shui. You should not immediately begin to clean up, wash the floors and cook dinner. In general, the worse it is in his apartment, the more comfortable your home will seem to him.

Do not buy things for a man that the wife should buy - bed linen, towels. Do not make expensive gifts - this can also alert him and reveal your plans.

If he introduces you to his friends as his girlfriend, no need to jump for joy. Just be quiet.