How to detect male infidelity: practical advice. Facts that speak for themselves

Most men lead double life, thinking that her friend won’t know anything about it. But, as a rule, alarming guesses always do not give peace of mind. And when they overwhelm a woman and her loving heart feels a catch, the problem becomes acute regarding how to find her husband’s mistress, and for this jealous wife can go to any lengths, and even “conduct an investigation.” Sometimes the result of this investigation may be that all fears were in vain, and the spouse has no one on his side, or it may happen that everything is confirmed and new “knowledge” can change a lot in life.

Behavior change

Before identifying your spouse’s mistress, you need to very carefully monitor the man’s behavior, because if the spouses have been together for a long time, they have already been able to learn each other’s habits and character well.

If a spouse has an “extracurricular activity” that he is trying to hide in every way, this will definitely manifest itself through tension. Strong secrecy and irritability will become obvious and speak for themselves.

Having an affair on the side, it will be difficult for a man to plan his time, and he will often begin to change plans and break agreements. He may stop responding phone calls, start avoiding communication with mutual friends and privacy with your spouse. The same applies to marital debt– sex will become rare.

Facts that speak for themselves

To more fully clarify the situation and obtain clear facts, you can secretly read your husband’s SMS on his phone, rummage through e-mail, study his pages on social networks. If there is someone on the side, traces will definitely be found. If you are lucky enough to find the “cherished” phone number, now you can easily find the person. By the way, through social media you can even see what your husband's mistress looks like. You can even chat with her if you have one common topics for discussion.

Another way to find out about the existence of a mistress is to chat with mutual friends. In these ranks there will certainly be well-wishers who, without even blinking an eye, will tell the whole truth about the adventures of their husband and may even tell who this woman is.

You can also use a more European way of calculating your husband’s infidelity by resorting to the services of a detective. Today, such a service as surveillance of a person is provided by specialized agencies or private detectives, most of whom even have this type activity license. IN short time You can get not only evidence, but also photographs of the crime scene.

It often happens that a woman begins to groundlessly suspect her husband of cheating, even though in reality there is nothing of the kind. This, as a rule, becomes an obsessive paranoia, which is very difficult to get rid of, but which greatly affects the well-being of the marriage. In this case, the best way out of the situation is to contact family psychologist which will help solve this problem.

Caught red-handed

There are a couple of options for catching your husband with his mistress. For example, you can meet him after the gym, where he suddenly started going, or offer to take him to his destination. You can sign up for the same trainings, or sport Club, where my husband goes. But you shouldn’t tell him about this decision - there is nothing shameful in the fact that a woman has decided to improve her health or is trying to improve herself. And if you see him with any woman, you just have to listen to his excuses.

It’s also a good idea to come to your husband’s work at the end of the working day, justifying this with longing for your loved one. This way it will be possible to understand why the husband is so often delayed at work. By the way, it would be nice to make acquaintance with his colleagues, who are certainly aware of all the emergency situations at work.

The truth and only the truth

A direct conversation on a disturbing topic in any situation is considered the best way solving the problem. You just need to sit down and talk directly with your husband. Tell him about all your concerns about his behavior and changes in attitude in the current situation. He should tell him about all the feelings he is experiencing, which are very difficult to hide at a time when an affair on the side poses a threat family well-being. If the husband categorically refuses to tell the truth, you need to try to get him to do it. To do this, you can even provide him with previously collected evidence indicating the fact of treason, and against which he will have nothing to say except the truth.

Most of the fair sex, having been married for many years, want to get to know their husband’s mistress by sight, but often this desire is not connected with the goal of “finding and neutralizing.” There is a deep psychological motive hidden here - to compare yourself with that other woman and understand why she is better.

And lastly, when deciding on such radical measures How to find out whether your husband is having an affair, first of all, you should think about your readiness to know the whole bitter truth. Sometimes it happens that you shouldn’t satisfy your curiosity, because this will lead to continuous scandals and reproaches. It is worth remembering that men are people who love everything new, and after hanging out on the side, he will return to the family with open arms.

Most importantly, do not attack him with accusations in the heat of the moment. It is unlikely that he will decide to confess everything, especially since it is not a fact that he is really cheating on you. Here you need to figure it all out, so to speak, find evidence (and first of all for yourself), and the most irrefutable. To figure out your husband's infidelity, the first thing you need to pay attention to is its behavior:

• If you notice that your husband has begun to take more care of his appearance, then there is reason to think about the fact that he has begun to cheat on you. Brand new suit expensive perfume, shoes are always polished. Have you ever noticed such neatness in your husband before? So something is definitely wrong here.
• Calculate your husband's infidelity maybe n O his behavior towards you. Usually when he has someone else, legal wife I don't manage to devote much time. And the feelings on his part become somewhat cooled. Including sexually. Observe how often he kisses and hugs you, and whether he tries to dodge your attentions.

• Thoroughly check his mobile phone, it can also say a lot about the life of your chosen one, and also help to figure out your husband’s infidelity. Of course, men today have become quite cunning, so they try to delete calls and SMS. But still, it won’t hurt to look into his mobile phone once again. Perhaps he will simply forget to clear the lists, then you will definitely have incriminating evidence.
• How late does your husband get home from work? If he starts cheating on you, but he probably calls and says that he’ll be a little late because he’s busy at work or has a meeting. You can’t discount the fact that your husband is a born workaholic, so staying late at work has simply become a habit for him. Perhaps he has a grandiose plan in mind, and in this moment he is engaged in its careful development and implementation.
• Check his car and clothes. If the mistress turns out to be insidious, then she will probably want to leave somewhere a reminder of her existence. This could be a lipstick mark on a shirt or even a piece of underwear somewhere in a secluded place in the car.

How to expose your husband for cheating: let's take radical measures

From the signs described above, you probably have a good picture. If a lot of things hit the mark, it means that your fears are not in vain and figuring out your husband’s infidelity has temporarily become the meaning of life for you. It is unlikely that you will want to live with a person who is cheating, which you know about and which you are not trying to bring to family discussion. It's a rare woman who leaves everything as it is. Cheating on your husband never brings joy, so if you want to save the family, you need to try to stop the betrayal and prevent it from happening again.

So, you have some evidence. But still they are not enough. You need to have something that you can show your husband, and that he definitely won’t be able to deny. Firstly, SMS. If suddenly your husband forgot to erase a message from his mistress, you can poke it in his face and say whatever comes to your mind. Be prepared for the fact that he will refer to “someone was joking” and the subsequent refusal: I am so good, I love my family and will never cheat.

In general, there is nothing left to do but hire a detective or become one for a while. Of course, you will need money, and a lot of it, so you can follow your husband yourself. By at least, try. To detect your husband’s infidelity, you can watch him as he leaves the office, and then film his every step with a digital camera. Perhaps the moment will be captured in the frame when he walks hand in hand with some beautiful girl. If you are in a car, it will also not be possible to trace its further path. a lot of work. Just be very careful, he definitely knows your car by sight. Try to pursue your husband wherever possible. This is the only way you can expose his betrayal and bring him to clean water.

If, at the end of the investigation, your guesses about treason are confirmed, you can be congratulated. Your husband is a true family man who loves only you. Appreciate such a rare creature and do not give reasons for going to the left.

Nothing occurs suddenly - except perhaps a lightning strike, and even this is preceded by certain circumstances. Therefore, it is quite possible for a wife, even before “well-wishers” inform her about her husband’s infidelities, to use certain signs to determine the infidelity of her other half.

If, out of the blue, a completely average spouse who usually doesn’t take great care of his appearance, who previously completely devoted his worries about cleanliness and creases in his trousers only to the attentiveness and care of his wife, suddenly begins to be jealous of his appearance, - take a closer look at your husband. After all, this suddenly appeared craving for something “brand new” may be a sign of a desire to interest a stranger’s beauty in your person.

A new perfume to replace an old scent that has long been familiar to you, or the sudden appearance for your wife of an additional bottle of foam or hair gel on her bathroom shelf should also alert a woman. Taking care of your hair, which previously came down to easy to use combs in the morning, and now the appearance of hair care products - warning sign possible appearance your husband has girlfriends.

These are just the tip of the iceberg of the changes happening to your husband in a very short period of time.

The betrayal of a spouse can also be indicated by frequent delays or even overnight stays “at work”, sudden business trips to other regions, as well as previously completely healthy, and in Lately regularly “sick” friends and comrades who need to be replaced at work or visited in hospital. If previously such work disasters and misfortunes with your husband’s friends were impossible to imagine, you can regard this as one of the totality of signs of his cheating on you.

An objectively inexplicable reduction in salary, lack of bonuses, various financial bonuses and similar payments, if until this time they were quite regular and constant, can also be an indicator of a spouse’s infidelity. After all, meetings with another woman require money, which, except from constantly available income, is nowhere to be found.

Check the SMS messages your spouse receives, as well as the calls he answers when he can be sure that you can’t hear him. Your husband’s habit of hanging up a call, explaining to you that he will call this subscriber back as soon as he has time, is also one of the oddities of behavior that should make you think about possible betrayals to you your beloved.

Inarticulate babbling from friends about your husband going out to smoke or suddenly having diarrhea while watching a football match should also alert you. The people with whom your spouse is supposedly spending time at this moment may well, by agreement with him, lie to you, creating an incorrect alibi.

One of the most common signs of cheating is refusing your spouse intimacy– well, not every man can satisfy several women in one night like Hercules. Usually they try to please their new lover in bed matters, believing that they can tell their wife something about the terrible fatigue at work. Therefore, if your life suddenly began to take on gray shade poorly fulfilled marital duties, and the husband has become lack of initiative and complains every now and then - take this sign into account, since it is often an indicator of betrayal. But you should pay attention to this only if, quite recently, you were surprised by your husband’s insatiability and activity in the marital bed.

Various little things, such as cufflinks, a tie clip, a funny hanging toy in a car, a shirt, a belt and others that were not bought by you and obviously not by him, are an indicator of the presence of another woman who gives gifts that are so significant to him in his own eyes . Men usually refuse to explain the appearance of these things or explain them as a manifestation of the attention of company employees on the day of celebrating various events: from the birthday of a campaign to the day of the next anniversary of the storming of the Bastille.

A sudden cooling towards you as a person and a woman is an almost unconditional sign that your husband has a lover.

These are just some of the signs that will help you identify your spouse’s infidelity. But knowing the truth is not always good. Sometimes it's better to remain blissfully ignorant and continue to love your one and only as much as you can. After all, he is your husband, and he is with you. So why bother and torment yourself with suspicion? And sooner or later he will have to choose - whether to be with you or leave for another. So be better than her!

Unfortunately for us, women, men are hunters by nature. Moreover, the hunters are polygamous. True, one must understand that in each of them such an instinct manifests itself to a greater or lesser extent. However, the fact remains. The statistics are inexorable and approximately every third male on planet Earth cheats on his woman.

Moreover, without paying attention to whether he is related by marriage or is “ common-law husband" Is it possible to prevent such behavior in men? Or at least figure out your husband’s infidelity in a timely manner? In our life, as one of my friends said, who worked as a urologist for many years and cured more than one prostatitis in her entire extensive practice, everything is possible. However, was it worth it?

If you are really ready to face the truth and want to try to make your husband stop cheating on you, you must first clearly find out whether he is really cheating on you or is this just your paranoid guesses? How to calculate your husband's infidelity?

Factors indicating that the husband committed infidelity:

There have been changes in behavior and mood

If your loved one decides to commit adultery, then take a closer look at his behavior. Has something new, unusual, not typical for her husband appeared in him before? Here you don’t need to be Miss Marple to figure out your husband’s betrayal and bring the cheater to clean water. You should not follow him, tracking him through the streets. Home observation is sufficient. But a cheating husband will behave differently:

• The very first alarm bell is the decrease or complete disappearance of his intimate attraction to you. Simply put, there is no more sex. It is clear that if there are no pathologies in this area and nervous overload at work, you should try to figure out where the husband satisfies his needs. Probably, another opportunity for this kind of détente has arisen. Little acceptable for you.
• he will begin to get irritated and make unreasonable claims against you. In short, you, without visible reasons, stop arranging for him. You prepared breakfast wrong, you put his things in the wrong place, you look wrong, and so on. The man who found himself new object lust, old version in the form of a deceived woman, of course, will only irritate, and without any reason. And he begins to lash out at her and show his displeasure. Which, at first glance, will not be clear to you. But if you think about it...
• his mood changes frequently and for no apparent reason. He has become secretive and spends a lot of time with his phone in the bathroom with the water running, muttering something as he does so, trying to be as quiet as possible. Alas, if such behavior takes place, then, in addition to the fact that the husband became a traitor, he also taught physics poorly at school. Otherwise, I would have known that if you want to hide your conversation, then the noise should be in the place where they listen, and not in the place where they speak. That is, turning on the water tap will do little to hide the traces of the crime, because the sound or noise had to be created where you are - the deceived woman...
• he became more careful about his appearance. Diligently, literally like a young lady of marriageable age, she polishes her feathers before leaving the house. He can even go to great lengths and enroll in Gym. These are links in the same chain, unfortunately.
• he is more often late at work or his unforeseen business trips have become more frequent. If there is a chronic absence of a husband, especially in the evening, then no matter how he makes excuses for rush jobs at work, given the combination of the factors described above, this is a clear sign of his infidelity.

Check your mobile phone

Yes Yes. Your unfortunate Stirlitz can be easily identified and betrayed using his own mobile phone. The most banal and effective way. No matter how encrypted he is and considers himself a great conspirator, sooner or later, unless of course he is a professional intelligence officer, your husband will miss a reckless SMS from him new passion and it will pierce. Perhaps some Michal Ivanovich himself or Sanya the carburetor will call him one day when the cheater is in the toilet and in a languid, feminine, cutesy voice will tell him that she, you see, is already bored and she is very lonely somewhere out there in the darkness of a cold night. And this, unfortunately, happens. And all the time.

Lack of time with family

Either the mother or some other close relatives of the husband, whom he values ​​very much and often visits, may suddenly begin to complain that your husband has completely stopped visiting them and pays almost no attention to them, for no apparent reason. If at the same time the husband does not have problems at work or any other reasons to stop visiting relatives, provided that he is also not at home all the time, then this is the same A good reason think about where your husband is at this time.

New acquaintances and friends

It is possible that a guy or husband will have some new friends to whom he will devote most of his free time. And he will be in no hurry to introduce you to them. He will spend his leisure time with them, for example, in sports bars, seemingly watching football, or on some unimaginable fishing, which he was not interested in before, or even hunting (at the same time, the husband was always against killing poor animals ). For some reason he won’t take you with him. Why? Good question…

Financial component

If the husband is an ordinary representative of the middle class of our society and cannot boast of the highest successes in the financial field. And your family belongs to that category of people who have to “count money.” Then, one more a clear sign, which will help to calculate betrayal there will be a constant, inexplicable leak Money. After all, having a mistress naturally requires expenses. Take a closer look at the family balance sheet, compare debits with credits, and the presence of financial holes will simply scream that the husband is hiding something. What exactly?

Smell like a dog

As banal as it may sound, your husband may simply smell like someone else’s woman, her perfume, or eau de toilette. You can find traces of her lipstick on his clothes. Or women's hair, not yours at all, but of the same color and length will be present in abundance on his things. Isn't it time to get to know the owner of this hairline better?

Of course, these are not all of the above alarm bells, the infidelity of a loved one. And the list of signs of male infidelity can be continued indefinitely. Each individual case will be stunning in its individuality. After all, anything can happen in life. And to try to prevent the collapse of the quiet and so coveted family happiness, you need to be proactive and be able to correctly calculate whether a man is cheating on you or is it just paranoia. After all, in order to win, you need to know the enemy by sight. How to win, you ask? How to make your husband stop cheating? A topic worthy of an entire novel. After all, in war all means are good. You can become more sophisticated when fighting for personal happiness in very different ways. Or, remembering my old friend, a urologist, quote her teachings:

- Oh! Just think! The man is cheating. Bromine in his tea, he will sit at home quietly and below the grass and not even dream of any mistresses - all business! However, think about it! Is it worth going to all this trouble for some lousy little guy? I have forty people at my appointment every day and all of them with prostatitis, I suppose they cheated on their wives, the studs!

Of course, she always joked like that. But even such harsh medical humor always made my soul feel lighter and all sorts of problems disappeared on their own.

It would be good if all such troubles were successfully eliminated and never disturbed our life again. women's well-being. Which, in fact, is what I wish for all of us.

Pasha is strange, very strange. He talks all the time about the car, about fishing, about computers. I never spoke about the fur coat. In general, this is suspicious, but a man can’t really not talk about his fur coat? Everyone loves fur coats, even the stupid blond moth. How is it possible that a person who can talk for an hour and a half straight about how to properly tie a hook to a fishing line has absolutely nothing to say about a fur coat?.. A person with such erudition would talk about this topic twice a day, and even write SMS messages from work.

Apparently he is talking about the fur coat with his mistress. With whom else, not with my mother?

Oh God, Marina realized, he has a mistress!..

Having thus calculated Pasha’s infidelity, Marina began searching for evidence. While Pasha was on his morning jog, I searched Pasha’s phone. I found Ivan Ivanovich and realized that this was a secret name. I called, but some guy picked up the phone.

We need to dig deeper, Marina realized. Pasha conned a mistress with a fur coat; a superficial examination is indispensable. I checked my trouser pockets and looked for condoms. Did not find. The cunning Pasha covered his tracks.

Well, he can’t really avoid screwing up somewhere, can he? Marina took the wallet from the purse and conducted a search. I found a check for three hundred rubles, which is exactly what sweaters for mistresses cost. She photographed the evidence and returned everything to its place.

Then Pasha returned, all wet, like a mouse jogging. He took off his sneakers, threw the T-shirt in the basket, and was just about to go to the shower and wash off the traces of his mistress, but Marina intercepted him.

We need to talk,” she said.

Pasha tried to evade the conversation, citing the fact that he was late. Then she asked him directly.

Are you crazy, Marinochka? - said Pasha. - What a mistress, what kind of nonsense?

And went to the shower. Everything is clear, there is a mistress, and perhaps not even one. Marina took refuge in the bedroom and sat there, undeservedly offended, until Pasha left for work. Then she conducted a search and searched personal belongings.

There was nothing interesting in the underwear drawer. Marina felt the socks; all the conspirators hide the diamonds they bought for their mistresses in their socks. There were holes in three socks, Marina threw them out, let her look for them. Then she changed her mind and returned it back to the box, so that it could go back to its bayadère with holes. Then she changed her mind again and threw it out again, let this goat see that she cares about the man.

Then Marina looked at the shirts in the closet and found no lipstick on the collars. So he's kissing this shirtless bitch, what a bastard. Probably, he takes it off in the hallway, hangs it on a hook, and immediately hooks up with this curly-haired professional furnet. Well, he's probably curly, sure as hell. Marina herself doesn’t have curly hair, no matter how much she cry, so he sold himself for extraneous curls, but is that the beauty of the soul?..

And I also bought this jacket, Marina began to cry. Dear wife she's been listening to about fishing for a year and a half, doesn't she deserve a sweater?

She went online and wrote to Kolya. She asked how much Kolya was willing to hack the mailbox of a dishonest person for. Kolya turned out to be unreliable; he motivated his refusal by the fact that he was a web designer, and not a criminal element. He is probably in cahoots with Pasha, otherwise why would he refuse such a simple request?..

Then she called Masha.

Masha is a grated kalach, two husbands left her for their mistresses, she knows what to do in such cases. Masha suggested meeting in a cafe and discussing this bastard.

In the cafe, Masha ordered ice cream and a little at a time, and then got down to business.

Secondly, it is necessary to arrange two things, a scandal and a divorce. It is unprofitable to feed such a husband. He will gain strength at home, but spend it unclear where.

Marina returned home with feelings on the rise, and had been planning a scandal all day. We managed to plan until about nine in the evening, what to do then, Marina did not yet know - whether to kick him out to such and such a mother, or to go to her own. I decided to act according to the circumstances.

Pasha arrived at seven, tired, probably just from his jig. Marina waited for him to notice that he was to blame, but she didn’t wait. Pasha asked for dinner, apparently the jig wasn’t feeding him at all.

Then Marina told him everything, presented him with a receipt for the jacket and a bill for wasted youth. Pasha stood, frowned and blinked his hungry eyes.

Are you talking about your mistress again? - he said. - Yes, I don’t have any mistress! Marinochka, where did you get the idea, well?..

What did you spend one and a half thousand on then? - Marina was indignant. -Are you taking me for a fool?

Then Pasha took a deep breath, and Marina realized - that’s all, she split the scoundrel. Just in case, I cried a little.

“I didn’t want to tell you,” Pasha muttered. - I wanted to make a surprise. I will show you now…

And he took out a brand new flash drive, still in its packaging, from a hiding place in the closet, hidden behind the books.

I bought it for your birthday, you wanted it,” he said. - Thirty-two gigabytes, pink. I visited five stores...

Pasha swore that he didn’t turn on anyone except the flash drive. No, I didn’t start with curls either. He doesn't know anyone with curls at all.

I hope you didn’t start it either?.. - he asked.

Marina replied that if he doubted her integrity, she would kick him in the horns. Then Pasha laughed with an infectious laugh, ruining all the anger. I had to laugh too.

Then they made up and she cooked dumplings for dinner.

And for her birthday, Pasha gave her something else. It looks like a fur coat.