Monogamous relationship. What history and religion say about polygamy
· Polygamy (Polygamy) · Polyandry) · Kinship · Family · Cohabitation · Relationships for sexTerminology
It is important to have a clear understanding of the nomenclature of monogamy because scientists use the term "monogamy" to describe various relationships. Biologists, physical anthropologists and behavioral ecologists ( English) often use the term monogamy in a sexual sense rather than a genetic sense. Modern biologists using the theory of evolution consider monogamy in humans as a phenomenon inherent not only to humans, but also to animals. They postulate the following four aspects of monogamy:
When cultural or social anthropologists and other social scientists use the term "monogamy", they mean social or marital monogamy. Marital monogamy can be divided into:
The legal aspects of monogamy in humans are taught in law departments. Philosophical aspects of monogamy are considered, for example, by philosophical anthropology and philosophy of religion, as well as theological disciplines.
Monogamy in humans
Social monogamy
Monogamy in animals
Monogamy in animals is a relationship between the sexes, characterized by the fact that the male mates with one specific female for a more or less long period of time and usually takes part in caring for the offspring. Monogamy is observed in most birds, with swans, storks, eagles, and vultures pairing up for several years, in some cases- for life, others - only for one season, parting after hatching and feeding the chicks (for example, geese) or even immediately after making a nest, even before laying eggs (many ducks). All wild geese are monogamous. Among mammals, monkeys and wolves form pairs for several years or more; arctic foxes, foxes, badgers, stoats, beavers - rarely more than one season. Monogamy sometimes also includes relationships between insects and other invertebrates, in which both sexes (or only males) die soon after a single mating (females - after laying eggs).
Write a review about the article "Monogamy"
Notes
| This is a draft article on biology. You can help the project by adding to it.
This note should be replaced by a more precise one if possible. |
|
||||||||||||||
Excerpt characterizing Monogamy
The footman came to summon Boris to the princess. The princess was leaving. Pierre promised to come for dinner in order to get closer to Boris, firmly shook his hand, looking affectionately into his eyes through his glasses... After he left, Pierre walked around the room for a long time, no longer piercing the invisible enemy with his sword, but smiling at the memory of this dear, smart and strong young man.As happens in early youth and especially in a lonely situation, he felt an unreasonable tenderness for this young man and promised himself to make friends with him.
Prince Vasily saw off the princess. The princess held a handkerchief to her eyes, and her face was in tears.
- It's horrible! terrible! - she said, - but no matter what it costs me, I will do my duty. I'll come over for the night. He can't be left like that. Every minute is precious. I don’t understand why the princesses are delaying. Maybe God will help me find a way to prepare it!... Adieu, mon prince, que le bon Dieu vous soutienne... [Farewell, prince, may God support you.]
“Adieu, ma bonne, [Farewell, my dear,” answered Prince Vasily, turning away from her.
“Oh, he’s in a terrible situation,” the mother said to her son as they got back into the carriage. “He hardly recognizes anyone.”
“I don’t understand, mamma, what is his relationship with Pierre?” - asked the son.
“The will will say everything, my friend; Our fate depends on him...
- But why do you think that he will leave anything to us?
- Ah, my friend! He is so rich and we are so poor!
“Well, that’s not a good enough reason, mummy.”
- Oh my god! My God! How bad he is! - exclaimed the mother.
When Anna Mikhailovna left with her son to visit Count Kirill Vladimirovich Bezukhy, Countess Rostova sat alone for a long time, putting a handkerchief to her eyes. Finally, she called.
“What are you talking about, dear,” she said angrily to the girl, who made herself wait for several minutes. – Don’t you want to serve, or what? So I'll find a place for you.
The countess was upset by the grief and humiliating poverty of her friend and therefore was out of sorts, which she always expressed by calling the maid “dear” and “you.”
“It’s your fault,” said the maid.
- Ask the Count to come to me.
The Count, waddled, approached his wife with a somewhat guilty look, as always.
- Well, countess! What a saute au madere [sauté in Madeira] will be from hazel grouse, ma chere! I tried; It’s not for nothing that I gave a thousand rubles for Taraska. Costs!
He sat down next to his wife, resting his arms bravely on his knees and ruffling his gray hair.
- What do you order, Countess?
- So, my friend, what is it that you have dirty here? - she said, pointing to the vest. “It’s sote, that’s right,” she added, smiling. - That's it, Count: I need money.
Her face became sad.
- Oh, Countess!...
And the count began to fuss, taking out his wallet.
“I need a lot, Count, I need five hundred rubles.”
And she, taking out a cambric handkerchief, rubbed her husband’s vest with it.
- Now. Hey, who's there? - he shouted in a voice that only people shout when they are sure that those they are calling will rush headlong to their call. - Send Mitenka to me!
Mitenka, that noble son raised by the count, who was now in charge of all his affairs, entered the room with quiet steps.
“That’s it, my dear,” said the count to the respectful young man who entered. “Bring me…” he thought. - Yes, 700 rubles, yes. But look, don’t bring anything torn and dirty like that time, but good ones for the countess.
“Yes, Mitenka, please, keep them clean,” said the countess, sighing sadly.
- Your Excellency, when will you order it to be delivered? - said Mitenka. “If you please know that... However, please don’t worry,” he added, noticing how the count had already begun to breathe heavily and quickly, which was always a sign of beginning anger. - I forgot... Will you order it to be delivered this minute?
- Yes, yes, then, bring it. Give it to the Countess.
“This Mitenka is such gold,” the count added, smiling, when the young man left. - No, it’s not possible. I can't stand this. Everything is possible.
- Oh, money, count, money, how much grief it causes in the world! - said the countess. - And I really need this money.
“You, countess, are a well-known reel,” said the count and, kissing his wife’s hand, he went back into the office.
When Anna Mikhailovna returned again from Bezukhoy, the countess already had money, all in brand new pieces of paper, under a scarf on the table, and Anna Mikhailovna noticed that the countess was disturbed by something.
- Well, what, my friend? – asked the Countess.
- Oh, what a terrible situation he is in! It is impossible to recognize him, he is so bad, so bad; I stayed for a minute and didn’t say two words...
“Annette, for God’s sake, don’t refuse me,” the countess suddenly said, blushing, which was so strange considering her middle-aged, thin and important person, taking money out from under the scarf.
Monogamy is monogamy, a unique historical form of marriage and family. This concept means that marriage concluded between two representatives of opposite sexes. Monogamy is the opposite of polygamy, where a member of one sex is married to more than one member of the opposite sex.
Monogamous Relationships: Pros and Cons
Each phenomenon has its positive and negative sides. Monogamous relationships have the following pros and cons:
Harmony;
A feeling of complete unity with your partner;
The norm of modern society;
Lack of direct competition.
- the realization that you belong to only one person for the rest of your life;
- risk of marriage breakdown;
— limited pair relationships;
- the absence of direct competition, which helps to maintain tone in relationships and strive for self-improvement.
Which husband is better - polygamous or monogamous?
Men, like animals, can be monogamous or polygamous. The first remain faithful, and this does not bother them at all, since they are happy with one, the best and most beloved woman. But polygamous representatives of the stronger sex have difficulty maintaining an alliance with one lady. They strive to have another affair on the side.
Many women believe that all men, without exception, are polygamous. But that's not true. Also, you should not think that if a man who is polygamous by nature sincerely loves you, he will suddenly become monogamous and will no longer be interested in other representatives of the fairer sex. It is wrong to believe that a polygamous man cannot love his soul mate. He can be wonderful and loving husband, since polygamous dependence does not at all prevent him from combining a happy family life with your “hobby”.
To understand which husband is better - polygamous or monogamous - it is worth understanding both phenomena in as much detail as possible.
If we turn to animal monogamy, it is based on a biological mechanism - “sexual imprinting”. This is an image capture intimate partner. After the first wedding night Monogamous animals simply physiologically cannot change partners, since the male does not respond sexually to other females. His companion is the only female for him. Sexual behavior animals are controlled by their genetic program. But often there are malfunctions in it or simply some individuals adapt to certain conditions existence and polygamy can be replaced by monogamy and vice versa. So it was with humanity.
Polygamy used to be widespread. But gradually it gave way to monogamy. And sex other than with a spouse was considered criminal and dirty. This concept in society was formed by strict religion. But when its influence weakened, marital bonds began to weaken, and many monogamous people in the past stopped limiting their sexuality to a single relationship. But not everyone became polygamous. The most romantic natures remained devoted to monogamy. After all, only monogamy allows you to feel the exaltation of feelings. With monogamy sexual attraction concentrated on one person and achieves its highest point. And with polygamy it is dispersed into many objects.
With monogamy, sex is not lust, as in the case of polygamy, but real euphoria of soul and body. In addition, the most romantic natures cannot get true pleasure from sex without love. Therefore, the latter avoid sex without feelings. A monogamous man believes that sleeping with unloved woman- this is wasting valuable energy and desecrating the source own energy. True, among women such romantic natures much more than among men. But in the society of the latter, such people are also not uncommon.
A monogamous man is every woman's dream. He can give the lady of his heart emotional intimacy, passionate sex and life together until death. But there is real evidence that monogamous romantics are the most unreliable husbands. This is easy to prove. A polygamous man experiences almost the same sexual attraction to those women he likes. And he chooses his wife, soberly assessing compatibility, and not in the heat of passion. Therefore, with such a careful and responsible approach to marriage, he will not change his ideal partner for another. Especially if he and his wife have children together. After all, in sexual terms, it may actually be possible to find best mistress. But she will definitely be inferior to his wife in other qualities. Therefore, a polygamous man, even if he pays attention to another woman, he realizes that the loss loved one Because of betrayal, which will bring a lot of pain to your loved one, it’s not worth it. A polygamous man himself will understand that it is better to remain faithful for the sake of psychological comfort, conservation financial well-being and health.
Paradoxically, quite often monogamous sexuality leads a member of the stronger sex to a polygamous lifestyle, and polygamy leads to monogamous behavior.
Despite the fact that we are all reasonable people, quite often we are overwhelmed by feelings and emotions that not everyone can cope with. This is what we're talking about great feeling, like love, which captivates a person and makes him sometimes do unexpected things. The logical conclusion of a successful romantic relationship is a wedding, after which the man and woman belong exclusively to each other.
A monogamous relationship is an interaction between a man and a woman that in no way allows for the possibility of infidelity or love relationship with another person. It is on this basis that the family rests, which is not only a unit of society, but also the place where children are born and raised. Therefore, a real relationship between a man and a woman should be based solely on love and mutual respect.
However, according to psychologists, not every man is ready to have monogamous relationship, because you need to grow to this level. In early youth, most young people tend to have multiple romantic relationships with different girls, because it is sometimes difficult for a person to understand his feelings. Today he likes one girl, tomorrow he likes another, and the lack of experience and seriousness leads to superficial relationships. There is nothing wrong with this in early youth, since during this period a person is looking for his soul mate with whom he plans to spend his whole life. However, it is during this period that people’s relationships with each other are laid and formed. In the future, it is their views that will determine the possibility of behavior in one way or another. life situation. We are talking, of course, about the possibility of meeting in the future another person who would not mind having romantic relationship with someone who is related by marriage. Therefore, it is the person’s own life attitude towards such a situation in principle that will be decisive here.
In our country, it is traditionally believed that monogamous relationships are the basis of correct and a decent life. If we take the East and a number of Muslim countries, then they are allowed polygamous marriages, that is, when one man can officially marry several women. The most interesting thing is that most Eastern women agree with this state of affairs, since the Muslim faith allows a man to have up to 4 wives.
In the countries of Europe and America, only monogamous relationships are officially recognized, which allow being in official marriage exclusively with each other. However real life, unfortunately, is full of examples when a man or woman cheats on their significant other, and the reasons can be completely different. There are cases when a man can simply be seduced attractive girl or he may accidentally change his condition. At the same time, there are those who cannot be content with one woman, and begin to date other girls in the future without a twinge of conscience. Of course, these examples show completely different circumstances of betrayal, therefore the approach to such situations should be different.
You need to understand that not every person likes monogamous relationships; such people are not at all aimed at starting a family. Their goal may be a lifestyle that includes the possibility of meeting with different people, for some this is even good. If we take such a category of people as poets, writers, musicians and artists, then they life examples they tell us that many of them had affairs “on the side.” You need to understand that for a man, a girl is a kind of muse that inspires him both to various actions and to achieve certain creative peaks. Therefore, relationships between people of creative professions are often woven into a complex tangle, which is sometimes very difficult to understand.
Summarizing all of the above, we can conclude that human relations are so wide and varied that in order to study and understand them you need to study for a long time at the faculty. The main thing is to understand that in no case should you make superficial and quick conclusions when condemning the action of this or that person. Of course, for each of us, monogamous relationships should become an example of worthy and right life, however, along this path there may be pitfalls, to overcome which a person should be guided by his own faith.
Hello dear readers. In this article we will talk about what monogamy and polygamy are. Find out whether all men are polygamous and women are monogamous. You will know whether it is possible to instill monogamy in a male representative.
General information
A polygamous person is able to simultaneously create relationships with several people at once. Such an alliance will be successful only if all its participants know about each other and are satisfied with the current situation. It should be understood that marital relations, in which one of the partners starts an affair is not considered polygamy. In this case, there is treason.
Monogamy is a type of relationship characteristic of most people, when there is one woman for one man. Monogamy defines feminine nature. In most cases, a woman does not think about another partner, even if she is unhappy in her marriage, because she tries to remain faithful and family hearth.
Three types are known polygamous relationships:
- polyandry is a marriage in which there is one wife and several husbands;
- polygyny - a relationship between one man and several wives;
- Bigamy is a type of polygyny when one man has two wives. In this case, one wife does not know about the existence of the other.
Every person hopes that his partner will be faithful only to him.
Polygamy in men
There has been a long debate about male polygamy. Many are sure that men are polygamous, and this is due to their nature. They often justify their betrayal by this phenomenon. A man is capable of simultaneously experiencing strong feelings to two or more women. This behavior in male body laid down at the genetic level. It must be taken into account that in the distant past, farmers were inclined towards polygamy. This was not due to dishonesty or promiscuity, but to a way of survival. It is worth considering that at a time when there were wars, many men died, there were not enough of them for everyone, the need arose for one gentleman to take care of several ladies, giving them the opportunity to give birth to offspring.
Polygamous relationships are practiced among Muslims. However, this does not mean that they can have an countless number of wives; this number does not exceed four chosen ones. Despite this, many men decide to join their destiny with only one woman; they feel more comfortable this way. A Muslim woman, when it did not work out to become the first wife, agrees to be the second, fourth, because this is better than remaining alone for the rest of her life, in such a situation she has a spouse, has male protection.
It is necessary to understand that in many nations polygamy is due to difficult conditions, in particular, the need to maintain genetic diversity and low population size.
It is worth considering the fact that certain factors that arise along the way of growing up of a future man may influence the need for a polygamous relationship.
- Lack of attention. The situation when a man tries to date several women at the same time or regularly resorts to infidelity is justified by a lack of parental attention in childhood, in particular maternal attention. As a boy, he constantly felt a lack of female care. This need goes with him throughout his life and it turns out that the attention of one partner is insufficient. The more new young ladies appear on his life’s path, the better he feels.
- Too much attention. This is the other extreme, when a man grows up with constant attention and care from his mother, especially if he is raised by grandmothers and aunts with her. Then future man understands that several women must take care of him. This way he feels more confident, in demand and desired.
It is necessary to understand that, despite the presence of a built-in instinct, a man is able to control his impulses. An honest and faithful man who has a strong will will never betray his partner, he will prefer a monogamous lifestyle.
Women, on an instinctive level, prefer males who, in their eyes, look stronger and braver. This phenomenon is the result of human evolution and is caused by the desire to get good offspring. For this reason, women tend to avoid weak partners. In this regard, strong men it became possible to simultaneously have close relationships with several women, while the weak ones remained lonely.
Polygamous relationships among women
Polygamy among women also occurs; such cases are known to history. Besides, feminine expression This phenomenon is given a specific name, namely polyandry. Today there are several dozen nations in the world, this number is approaching 50, in which it is considered normal for one woman to have several spouses. For example, this is practiced by the Eskimos and the Indian population. If we consider India, the emergence of polyandry is explained in most cases by gender considerations. Many families are against the birth of a daughter; they decide to have abortions, the reason for this being the impossibility or unwillingness to prepare a dowry. As a result, today in India there are many times fewer women than men. In fact, this phenomenon is typical not for the whole country, but for the outback.
In Polynesia or Nigeria, polygamous relationships, in which a woman has the right to several partners, are officially legalized. In Tibet, the situation with polyandry is due to the fact that many families do not want to part with their household. For example, with the land that feeds them, so adult sons marry the same girl and stay in their home. Previously, polyandry also occurred in Venezuela. A woman was allowed to cohabit with two spouses at the same time; when she gave birth to a son, she had no idea who his father was. Therefore, the father’s obligations fell on two men at once, which had a positive effect on the growing child.
Monogamy
In women, monogamy is inherent at the internal level. As a rule, young ladies are supposed to raise children and maintain the family hearth. A woman is more reserved, since she is entrusted with certain obligations, and she has no time to search for a new partner. It is worth considering that female representatives feel the need to take care of their children, this is largely due to hormonal levels. What kind of mother would decide to have several men at once?
A person must independently decide whether to remain faithful to one partner. He must be responsible for his decisions. There is no need to refer to society or instincts.
If we turn to the animal kingdom, we will realize that they are characterized by polygamy. As a rule, animals do not attach importance to who will become their mating partner. However, there are also representatives of monogamy.
- Swans. They create couples that are inseparable until the death of one of the partners.
- Wolves. Loyal to your soulmate. In a situation where the male dies, his partner continues to remain lonely until death. The wolf protects his she-wolf and offspring, entering into battle even with an unequal opponent.
- Beavers. The male protects his partner, takes care of her when she is preparing to give birth, together they raise the baby until two years of age, after which they release him in adult life, and they themselves continue to be faithful to each other.
- Penguins. These animals live in pairs for many years. When it's time to return to the colony, every few months, they look for each other.
- Steppe voles. Having chosen a partner, the vole produces special hormones, as a result of which the male continues to be faithful to his partner and does not pay attention to other females.
Is it possible to change a polygamous man?
When women discover that their partner is polygamous, they tend to feel confused. Some decide that it is necessary to come to terms with this fate; it will not be possible to correct such a man. In fact, this problem can be solved.
- Creation trust relationships. Any woman can influence her husband not to resort to cheating in a situation if her partner is aware of his polygamy, but still wants to be monogamous. Especially if the partner he is with now has all the traits that he needs so much. A woman should try to be the best for her partner, support him in all endeavors, listen to his opinion. This will get rid of many problems.
- Work on yourself. In order for a man not to want to look for someone on the side, he must find everything he needs at home. A woman should be a good housewife great lover, ideal wife and mother. It is necessary that the young lady does not relax after she gets married, but continues to take care of herself, her body, is well-groomed, and looks beautiful not only in public, but also at home. It is also desirable that she be relaxed and constantly surprise her husband with some minor changes in herself.
The desire of most adult women is limited by moral mechanisms, as well as attitudes psychological nature. Young ladies understand that it is wrong and indecent to even think about having close relationships with several men at the same time. While it seems right for men to have several partners at once, they feel in demand, successful, and believe that in this way they become more attractive.
Now you know what monogamy is in a relationship and what polygamy is. As you can see, in modern world There is both monogamy and polygamy, both in women and men. Each person must determine for himself what is really important to him, to have many partners or to remain faithful to one person.
In the system of conservative values, female monogamy is something taken for granted. The union of a woman with more than one man is traditionally frowned upon. However, female monogamy is not the most obvious phenomenon.
Women are naturally monogamous
However, the data social statistics says that gender does not matter in this matter. The type of sexual constitution and upbringing are much more important. If you believe the numbers, the number of polygamous men and women is approximately the same.
Having multiple spouses is the prerogative of men
In Islamic countries it is allowed to have several wives. And among other cultures, polygamy is not condemned. For example, King Solomon had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines.
But history also knows polyandry. They even coined a term for this phenomenon: polyandry. In the 19th century, having multiple husbands was common in the Marquesas Islands, the Aleuts, and some Eskimo groups. Until recently, polyandry existed in South India among tribes living in the foothills of the Nilgiria range and in Tibet. As a rule, polyandry is a forced measure. Behind future wife you need to pay: what to do if there is only money for one bride, but there are many sons? Let everyone live with her - under their parents' roof. Formally, the eldest son was married, and the rest “joined” his marriage. Housekeeping takes turns, sex is scheduled. To avoid any embarrassment, shoes were left at the door, indicating that the wife was “busy.”
Such a family, when several brothers live with one woman, is called fraternal. There were also non-fraternal marriages - in India, where newborn girls were killed, and accordingly there was always a shortage of women, such families were not uncommon.
Monogamy is the key to health
It would seem that if we talk about sexual diseases, then in a monogamous couple the risk of infection is minimal. University of Missouri-Kansas City psychology professor Terri Conley isn't so sure. She believes that adherents of polygamous relationships less chance get a sexually transmitted disease.
The professor explains his assumption this way: having sex with 100 partners using barrier protection is safer than having sex with one, but without a condom. And there is a grain in this common sense. People who have many sexual partners often take contraception more seriously.
Another interesting study was carried out by Professor Andrew Cockburn at the Department of Botany and Zoology at the Australian National University. Based on the results of a series of experiments involving the dark broad-footed marsupial mouse, the professor concluded that polygamous women healthier offspring.
A monogamous woman is good, a polygamous woman is bad
From the point of view of, say, Orthodox and especially Islamic morality, this is so. In Buddhism, this issue is treated a little differently. It is generally not customary for them to condemn, much less regulate sexual relations their followers.
The Western teacher of the Karma Kagyu Buddhist school, the first European student of the 16th Karmapa, the Dane Lama Ole Nydahl, allows for the possibility of having relationships with several partners if it does not harm anyone. “If we use our bodies to bring happiness to others, we create good karma", he says.
Lama Ole himself long time was in close relationships with two women - with his wife Hanna and Kati Hartung, who traveled with Ole when Hanna was busy.
Monogamy is a violation of women's rights
There is a legend in Islam, apparently created so that women would not complain about inequality. Once a group of 40 women gathered and they came to Ali b Ali Talib, the son-in-law of the Prophet Muhammad and the head of all the faithful. Women turned to him with a question: “Why did Islam allow men to have several wives, but forbade women to have several husbands? Isn't this a violation of women's rights? Ali ordered to bring several small vessels with water and distribute them to the women, then pour all the water into one large vessel. And then he asked each person to take from the common container the water that she personally poured into the vessel.
“How is this possible? - they exclaimed, “after all, the water is mixed, how can you distinguish your own from someone else’s?” To which Ali explained to them: “It’s the same with a woman - if she has several husbands, she will have to copulate with everyone, and when she becomes pregnant, how will she know whose child it is?” This is from a man’s perspective, but it’s really difficult to talk about infringement of rights. Still, historically, a woman’s task is to raise offspring, and it is easier to do this with one husband who will feed and protect her and his offspring. Psychologists believe that it is more difficult to evoke a sense of responsibility in a man in a polyandrous marriage.
