Learn how to accept compliments. Return insincere compliments

"Words are the most powerful drug that humanity uses!"— Kipling.

We are surrounded interesting world. We move in a constant stream of communication: work, relatives, friends, leisure… Is it possible to manage what is happening around? How to learn to influence people and promote the right, easy communication, in which you form the right opinion.

During productive communication, we can awaken certain feelings and interests in a person, change his attitudes, intentions, ideas and assessments.

With the help of the proposed techniques, you can form positive qualities in people, positive habits, change their lifestyle, and help achieve results. You, too, will not remain in the loser - you will get what you want.

We all know how to give compliments. I will tell you how to strengthen them and make them most effective. And how to use them.

So, compliment. It is easy to implement, capacious, pinpoint, helps to install a good relationship with people. In ancient times, this was correctly noted by the Roman poet, Publius Cyrus: "We are interested in other people when they are interested in us".

Before moving on to methods that increase the effectiveness of a compliment, it is necessary to note the factors that reduce it:

1. Use of words (probably, perhaps, etc.) convey doubts about the truth of what was said, or impose restrictions (today or sufficient, etc.). Example: " You are smart enough", "You look good today", "All employees will probably follow such a leader."
2. Usage standard phrases or a compliment to the quality that everyone says given.
3. You don't believe what you're saying!

Methods that enhance the effectiveness of a compliment

Before you give a compliment, you need to understand how you will do it, with what intonation, facial expressions. sincerity necessary condition. That's why how uttered, 70% of success will depend and 30% will bring the correct speech construction.

1. A method such as detailing will help build a non-standard compliment:
   • Use of original epithets. Example: As opposed to the usual: "What are yours beautiful hair" you can offer to replace the hair with "strands" or "curls", that is, to detail. And if you add meaningful epithets, such as "silky", "fiery", "flowing", "playfully falling", you can achieve sophistication, lightness and originality. Example: " I admire your curls, playfully falling on your beautiful shoulders! Credibility and truthfulness the most important criteria any compliment. Most people are inclined new information question, so praise must have evidence.
   • Facts are the best evidence:"Summarizing the results of the last period showed your ability to concentrate best on work."
   • Use of numerals: "After yesterday's meeting, all 26 directors spoke very positively about you."
2. Comparison with an authoritative image that represents a certain standard in our society that needs to be equal to will help increase efficiency. Everyone is happy to meet the standard. Example:
   • "You, as a professional in the field of trade, be sure to evaluate our product"(and the interlocutor, if he considers himself an expert in this field, will have no choice but to pay due attention to the proposed product).
   • Or " How are you intelligent person consider my thoughts progressive."
   • "You are like a real athlete, showed high class in Game".
3. Highly good way — pay attention to the strengths of the interlocutor, which not everyone tells him about, and to his achievements. Important: in the methods below big role the design itself plays: "You, how...", "Judging by your way..." Further in the text, ways of constructing compliments using such "magic" appeals will be given. For example:
   • "Judging by your optimism, you are up to this difficult task."
   • "Your positive energy energizes the whole team."
   • "Your kindness invites confidence."
   • "Did you call 30 clients? Amazing performance for a newbie, tomorrow this number will definitely increase!"
   • "Honey, like a girl, I always rejoice at your ability to make gifts!"
4. Emphasis on qualities that you would like to see in a person. What to do if the desired positive quality is absent or weakly manifested? It is necessary to track when a person accomplishes a small "feat" and highlight it. Once having experienced pride in himself, he will want to continue to receive such positive emotions in the future. This is a great opportunity to correct human behavior. For example:
   • For a vulnerable person, in a rare moment of demonstration of confidence, it is important to hear: "There was so much personal strength in your actions that people with a strong inner core have."
   • You are annoyed by the carelessness of your husband, scattered things. How can the situation be corrected? It should be noted in which area of ​​life this quality is most strongly developed. Perhaps in the sphere of planning and systematization of affairs, in cutting vegetables or a perfect shave. The task is to focus attention on it in its positive manifestation, backed up with praise. The more often a person hears about his neatness, the greater the likelihood that he will transfer this property to other areas.
5. It's important to notice the qualities by which the achievement is made. For example:
   • "This firm was created by such an ideological and charismatic leader as you."
6. A compliment can be based on removal of negative emotional states . If you know the complex of a person, you can eliminate it by skillfully using the following techniques. Example:
   • A loving man is delighted with the whole appearance of his chosen one, sincerely praising every part of her desired body, thereby removing the woman's former complexes. Example: "Honey, I admire the slender line of your legs."
   • Children often feel fear before any action, being unsure that they will cope with it. An encouraging compliment faithful assistant in combating this phenomenon. Example: "Everyone liked your old drawings very much, we are looking forward to new ones."
   • If a person strives for recognition, for example, an employee at work, the manager can always motivate her performance with phrases: "You are needed (necessary) - where am I without you."
7. Negative qualities always have a reverse positive side . If you want to reverse the polarity of a quality, you need to emphasize it with admiration or praise. But to do this in a situation where it acts not as a minus, but as a plus. Example:
   • The miser's wife can be seen: "Darling, your savings have reduced the cost of your company". (Bypassing accusations of personal stinginess, we have emphasized the area in which negative quality converted to positive).
   • It's better for a selfish person to say: "Thanks to your determination, perseverance, you were able to achieve a promotion in your career".
   • It is very effective to direct a compliment to a person - "Only you…" This emphasizes the uniqueness of the interlocutor: "In our companyOnly youown such the latest technologies personnel management".
8. Hypnotic phrases in Compliment. In the formation of a compliment, it is recommended to resort to phrases that "hypnotically" affect the opponent:
   • "I know…" — increase the effectiveness of their undeniable. And taken as a fact:
     • "I know you're a wizard!"
     • "I know you are our sage!"
   • "You immediately feel…"After it, you need to insert the quality on which you would like to focus. For example:
     • "I immediately feel that you have a special patience!"
     • "I immediately feel that you understand economic terminology!"
9. Using your feelings is very strong technique. Phrases such as:
   • "I'm pleased…" (substitute the desired quality):
     • "I am pleased to deal with a man who is endowed with such a sense of humor!"
   • "Very interesting…"(substitute) - "to hear your authoritative opinion!"
     • "Very interesting to hear your authoritative opinion!"
   • "It gives me special joy..." ( substitute) - "Communication with such a nice child like you!"
     • "It gives me special joy to communicate with such a nice child like you!"
10. Add-on from below. Phrases seem to say that you are not fully versed in this issue, and your interlocutor is clearly in the lead: "I envy…", "I'm learning from you..." Yielding primacy, you achieve location and at the same time influence on the interlocutor. For example:
    • "I envy the way you treat your employees with skill."
    • "I envy your taste."
    • "I always learn from you, your consistency."
11. Not less than strong impact will take on the interlocutor phrase with the use of the adverb - "for the first time ...":
    • "This is the first time I've experienced such positive energy."
    • "I first I meet such an interesting and inquisitive person."
    • "A compliment is like a kiss through a veil!" (Victor Marie Hugo). The next method is good because acts not directly, but through a veil of hobbies, hobbies, objects of love and reverence. For example:
      • A woman is praised through children:
        • "I envy your child that he has such a mother!"
        • "Only this caring woman there can be such developed children!
      • If a man is proud of his chosen one:
        • "A man like that deserves a diamond like that";
        • "You have great taste in women."
      • Wife of a friend: "Judging by the appearance and success of your husband, you can immediately see that there is a wise woman next to him!"
      • Looking at the photo: "Your confident stance in the photo characterizes you as a person with clear leadership abilities."
      • Through sports: "Yes, only real athletes choose brands of balls of this class."
      • Through food, clothing, etc.:
        • "You are the owner of good taste."
        • "You are a true foodie."

Winning Techniques for Using Compliments in Everyday Situations

1. The next method pleases in that it is effective at the moment of its miss. It is good for removing feelings of self-guilt. It is necessary to get rid of this unproductive quality. How? By shifting attention from one's wrongdoing to positive properties in offended person. Example. The man showed imprudence, looking at another woman in the presence of his wife and, in a look full of claims, immediately remarked:
   • Honey, your figure is much better. What a spectacular you are, I compare and am proud that I am going with you. I know that you are very wise and you know that I will not get away from you anywhere.
2. Rapid switching the attention of the interlocutor from one topic to another. A woman, in a state of strong emotional intensity, does not control herself, splashing out various curses. At this moment, there is an opportunity to interrupt her with a compliment, knocking her out of her thoughts and forcing her to react to new information. Example: " Father, how your eyes shine when you are angry. A similar method can be applied in a dispute with a man, correctly directing a compliment. A man may be skeptical about a compliment about appearance, and if you make an attempt to stop the dispute by pointing out his intellectual features, reconciliation will happen faster. " You, even in a state of anger, can clearly systematize your thoughts, I envy such abilities.

Methods of using compliments in business situations

Negotiation. All participants have a well-thought-out scenario, from which the interlocutor does not intend to deviate. With the help of a compliment, you can switch the interlocutor to another wave, triggering positive emotions. The opponent confidently states his concept and quite unexpectedly, "off topic", one should say: " OOO, you have a phone model that I also plan to purchase"(car, watch, etc.) . The interlocutor is forced to engage in a new dialogue with you, while losing the thread of the previous conversation. After exchanging a few sentences on a given topic, you also suddenly return to the previous one with the words: "Well, have we agreed on a price?"

Each of us wants to receive compliments, and not only from representatives of the opposite sex who admire our beauty, but also from girlfriends, friends, boss, etc. However, only a few can boast of the ability to receive compliments correctly, most women are embarrassed, blush, begin to make excuses: “No, what are you, I’m just lucky” or “This is all a dress, it hides overweight". Needless to say, such an approach does not make anyone happy at all: neither the giving nor the receiving side. Therefore, it is very important to understand why you are so embarrassed by someone positive feedback and why can't you say a simple "thank you" with a proudly raised head and a charming smile.

It would seem that gifts, walks under the moon and compliments are just tinsel. A real man measured not by the carats of diamonds he presents to his beloved. A man with a capital letter is reliable, strong, honest, and everything else is nonsense in vegetable oil. However, no matter how many girls convince themselves that pleasant words are spoken only by those who are not capable of serious deeds, each of them secretly dreams of turning the heads of the opposite sex and hearing a myriad of compliments addressed to her. This is how we see success with men: a stranger falls in love with us at first sight and, without false embarrassment, begins to praise everything that he likes so much: “Your eyes are like bottomless lakes, it seems to me that I can drown in them. You are so attractive that I no longer remember where I was going. I don't think I've ever seen anyone more beautiful than you." Could anything be more enjoyable? We are thrilled, embarrassed and ... do not know what to answer. All words of gratitude seem to disappear from the lexicon, questions are spinning in my head: “Is this all for me? Maybe he got confused? Not so beautiful eyes, quite common. I have never been attractive: here on last week my boyfriend ran away from me. And around hundreds of women more beautiful than me. This is probably a mistake. Or bullying. That's right, he argued with someone! And that's it - the magic of the compliment is lost, and the stranger seems to be just a "decoy".

With such an attitude towards the pleasant words that someone says to you, you will never learn to appreciate yourself. Someone's praise will always seem like a mockery, a mistake or a misunderstanding.

You will think you don't deserve this a positive assessment, respect or admiration, because circumstances did everything for you, but not you yourself. It's time to reconsider your attitude to compliments and learn to accept them with your head held high.

Why can't we accept compliments?

1. Psychologists say that main reason by which people are embarrassed when they hear praise addressed to them - this is their low self-esteem . A girl who sincerely believes that she is not beautiful will not be able to happily accept a compliment regarding her appearance. “I know perfectly well that this is not so, why then do they tell me that my hair is especially beautiful today?” - mentally she will be surprised and will not find what to answer.

2. Some people think a compliment is great. way of manipulation: "No one will just say nice words to another person, they probably need something from me." Being confident that she “deciphered the evil intent”, such a girl will not take the compliment seriously and, of course, will not even think to say “thank you”.

3. “If someone compliments me, it means they are waiting for me to say something nice in return, but I don’t know what to say, ”there is such a point of view. It's like giving gifts: "Don't put me in awkward position I won't be able to give you something as expensive as this."

How to accept compliments

First, you should work on your self-esteem to another compliment about your wonderful figure do not respond embarrassedly: “Well, what a figure! I bought slimming underwear! You should understand that you deserve this positive assessment, that you are beautiful both in slimming underwear and without it.

You should understand that you deserve this positive assessment.

Second, never don't miss the compliment, thus you offend a person who wanted to please you. Imagine you say to a friend: “How prettier you have become over the summer!”, And she just looks somewhere past you and is silent. Agree, from the outside it looks like the highest degree of ingratitude.

Thirdly, don't look for a trick. You didn't ask the person to say something nice to you, you didn't force him to do it. Praise addressed to you is just a desire to voice what so delighted or surprised your interlocutor.

Fourth, smile. Whatever you say in response, reinforce your words with a sincere smile. It should not be stretched and forced.

And fifth, thank you. The best way to respond to a compliment - to thank the one who made it. “Thank you, I am very pleased to hear that,” this phrase is quite enough.

Every woman would like to receive compliments, not only from men admiring beauty and elegance, but also from friends, colleagues, bosses. Only now, not all representatives of the weaker sex can boast of the ability to correctly accept these compliments.

Most women are embarrassed and begin to make excuses: “Well, what are you, I’m just lucky” or “This is all my dress, it hides figure defects so well.” It is clear that such an approach does not please either the one to whom the compliment is intended, nor the one who makes it. Therefore, it is so important to understand what confuses you in a compliment, and why you cannot confidently smile and say thank you.

Are compliments important?

At first glance, it may seem that pleasant words and compliments are just tinsel. A real man is not valued for loud words and gifts, but for his personal qualities and deeds. A real man should be strong, reliable, loyal, honest, and the rest is not so important. And no matter how many women convince themselves that beautiful words only unreliable windy men speak, each secretly dreams of hearing thousands of compliments from the representatives of the stronger sex.

We imagine how a beautiful stranger falls in love at first sight and without any hesitation approaches with the words: “I can’t take my eyes off your beautiful face. You are so attractive that I even forgot where I was going. It is unlikely that in this world there will be someone more beautiful than you. What could be sweeter than such words? We blush, are embarrassed and do not know what to say in response.

All words of gratitude are instantly forgotten. And in my head every now and then spinning: “Is it really all for me? Maybe he's confusing me with someone else? Most ordinary face, there are prettier ones. And I've never been attractive at all. If I'm so beautiful, why am I so unlucky with men? He probably just wants to laugh at me. In general, he could argue with someone that he could fool me. And that's all. The compliment faded, and the beautiful stranger turned into a decoy.

With this attitude towards compliments, you will not be able to learn to appreciate yourself. Praise will always be perceived as another misunderstanding, mistake or mockery. It will seem to you that you do not deserve this respect, admiration or positive assessment, because these are not your merits, but simply a coincidence. It is time to reconsider your attitude to pleasant words addressed to you and learn to accept them with pride.

Why can't we accept compliments?

The first reason why women are embarrassed when they hear a compliment is low self-esteem. If a woman believes that she is ugly, stupid, sloppy, etc., she cannot believe in the sincerity of the compliment. "How can you call me beautiful if I'm ugly?". In response to a compliment, such women usually begin to make excuses or be embarrassed and deny what was said.

The next reason why compliments seem stupid is the belief that a compliment is just a way of manipulating. "No one will just praise someone, for sure this person has his own benefit." Convinced that she “exposed malicious intent”, such a girl will not take the compliment seriously. Not only that, she won't even thank you for it.

“If a person tells me some kind of compliment, then he expects praise in return. And I don’t know what pleasant things can be said to him ”- this is the next point of view that prevents people from accepting compliments. It can be compared to gifts. The woman does not accept the gift because she does not want to be indebted to anyone.

Learning to accept compliments

First of all, it is important to work on your self-esteem. As mentioned above, low self-esteem is the first obstacle to a compliment. A woman is told pleasant words about her amazing figure, and she immediately embarrassedly replies: “Well, what are you talking about, what kind of figure I have, it’s all tight underwear.”

If you recognize yourself in this situation, you need to understand once and for all that you deserve praise. If you are being praised, do not look for excuses for yourself and do not try to shift the praise to fortunate circumstances. After all, the compliment is addressed to you, not your dress or makeup.

Never leave a compliment unattended, otherwise you may offend the person who wanted to please you. Imagine that you have not seen your girlfriend for a long time, when you meet you give her a sincere compliment: “You have become so prettier in these few months.” And she missed your words past her ears and did not comment. From the outside it looks ugly, and you probably would be a little offended.

Also, do not look for a catch in a compliment addressed to you. You did not ask to be rewarded with pleasant words, and did not force the interlocutor to do so. Praise is simply voicing what you like about you.

When people say nice things to you, always smile back. Remember that the smile must be sincere. The interlocutor will definitely not be pleased to see a strained and forced attempt to smile.

Be sure to thank you for the compliment. Best Reaction Praise is gratitude. "Thank you, I really appreciate your words." "Thank you for these nice words". A phrase like this would suffice.

Learning to accept compliments is definitely worth it. After all, every time a woman correctly accepts praise or a compliment, she takes a big step towards developing adequate self-esteem.

In addition, another side is involved in this process - the person who makes the compliment. Your communication can be compared to the exchange of coins. He gives you a coin because he believes that you are worthy of praise, and your deed is worthy of a coin. And what do you do in response? Do you take a coin or throw it on the floor? Or silently hide the coin in your pocket, as if nothing happened?

People expect that the exchange will be equivalent. They give you a coin, and expect the same from you in return. This process was best described by Eric Berne in his book The Games People Play. People who play games".

Homework

The following activities will help you learn to accept praise. At the same time, you will have the opportunity to work on your self-esteem.

1. Write a list of your character traits that you like (there should be at least 10 qualities on the list). Think about these qualities. Where did you get them from, what do you do for them further development? What qualities would you like to add to this list? What steps do you need to take to develop these qualities?
2. Observe the people around you for two weeks. What do they tell you? What are they doing for you? How often do you hear nice words from people? By observing the words and actions of others, it will be easier for you to learn to accept compliments.
3. At the end of each successful day, go to the mirror and compliment yourself aloud: “Today I did a great job!”, “Today you did a great job!”. If it seems to you that you are insincere with yourself, this indicates the need for additional work on your self-esteem. Do this exercise more often and consolidate the positive effect by responding to your compliment with gratitude: “Thank you, this is valuable to me!”.

Learn to sincerely and gratefully accept praise, and it will become easier for you to communicate with people. You will stop being embarrassed, you will easily accept compliments and respond to people in the same way.

How often do we forget that people are ready to listen to good and good words about yourself for hours. When we need to win over the interlocutor, we are ready to come up with a lot of possible ways do it. But sometimes we forget about such simple and actionable things how to compliment.

It is customary to compliment ladies, because "women love with their ears." But in fact, everyone is happy to hear pleasant words about themselves, it’s just that men most often hide their reaction to compliments. Such a predisposition to tenderness from hearing words about oneself comes from a basic human need - the need for positive emotions. The person who helps you satisfy this need immediately becomes pleasant in communication and disposes to himself.

How to give proper compliments

Understand what is good and the right compliment, the definition of this concept will help. A compliment is called kind, pleasant words, flattering feedback. And it is precisely the meager exaggeration of the positive qualities or characteristics of a person that distinguishes it from flattery. For better perception, I think it is worth giving an example: “You look great in this dress” (compliment) and “You are the most beautiful woman” (flattery). The latter very clearly shows that they strive to please you, to flatter you. Often, these parameters can reveal what exactly the person wanted to do: a compliment or outshine you with flattery. Often flattering reviews can be refuted and not accepted due to obvious untruthfulness. Not everyone is pleased with such an attitude towards themselves, although situations are different.

Of course, in business interpersonal interactions, compliments are more often pronounced as manifestations of wit and fine workmanship communication skills. But it should be remembered that your words can be heard and understood in different ways and you should subtly feel the moment of compliments. Otherwise, you can spoil the mood of the interlocutor, and the impression of yourself.

Compliment and praise. It is often possible to put these concepts in the same row. But it is worth noting one nuance in the use of these communication tools. Praise is pronounced more often by the “tops” in relation to the “bottoms”, speaking about service relations, and the “lower classes” pronounce the compliment, as if praising the “tops” above themselves, allowing them to rise even more.

Based on the foregoing, it can be summarized that the correct compliment is pleasant words spoken about another person, against the background of a decrease in their merits. Here is a case from the regular weekdays of the office. One employee says to another: “How can you be so gentle with accounting? In the morning, I tormented our chief accountant for an hour because of a certificate, and in 10 minutes you received a certificate and analytics from her on recent cases.

Such a positive perception of a compliment is helped by the use in it of known to both parties life situations or the virtues of a partner. There is a disclosure of such facts that expose the other side of the communication process in a more advantageous position. But basing a compliment on mythical assumptions can reduce these pleasant words to simple flattering statements or make them implausible. So when you're not sure if the person knows what will be discussed- it is worth reminding him of these facts, and then complimenting him.

Awakening fantasy. Compliments are considered magnificent, allowing you to encourage the interlocutor to mentally continue them, to give free rein to fantasies. It happens that a man is told that his car is very good, powerful and that he himself looks great next to this car. How a person reacts to this: “Of course, because I was able to earn money for this car, I am successful in my business. Everything is fine with me at work, and at home I’m strong and Friendly family for which I do all this. It turns out, having made a compliment to personal things, their owner can attribute these words to his own account.

Another important fact is that in order to accurately hit the target, it is necessary that the right part compliment was well-built, was simple and clear. It is necessary not to wind up the sentence with numerous turns, but, on the contrary, to make it simpler and more understandable. Get away from moralizing, avoid the ambiguity of emotions and words when pronouncing compliments.

General phrases. We all know that there are a variety of words that are nice to hear for anyone. Almost all of us want to be healthy, loved, confident; to be prosperous, successful; having beautiful children, relatives nearby, etc. Interpersonal communication helps to get a lot of other, more personalized information. Considering positive characteristics or the actions of a particular person, your compliment will look more winning, and will be more appreciated by the interlocutor.

Let's conduct an experiment - let's say a compliment to a person whom you consider, say, not very successful in his career. Think about whether he has the same opinion about himself? Probably not. Perhaps he set his life priorities differently. He believes that it is necessary to devote more time to his family and children. Here is the reason for the compliment: “How I wish my family, like yours, spent time together more often.”

Amateur mistakes. We are mistaken when we think that it is worth saying nice words only to those people from whom we want or can benefit. But what about practice? Without having a certain experience, say the right words in right moment this will be the most difficult task. Most likely, the person you want to contact guesses your intention, and you haven’t practiced. Therefore, there is an idea that nothing good will come of this undertaking.

Compliments every day. How often should you practice giving compliments? Constantly. To any person who deserves nice words Compliments should be addressed to you. Only by training and practice will you be able to hone your ability to give compliments clearly, clearly and on target. It does not even hurt to establish an award for yourself: “Compliment of the Day”. And with successful statements, treat yourself to a good mood!

Try to give compliments “without extra ears” at first, so that other people do not embarrass you. Highlight the interlocutor's qualities that are less pronounced for you, and say it to him looking into his eyes. Small slips will not become too noticeable or will be forgivable for a novice master, since we all love to hear flattering words about ourselves. When you feel like you're mastering a skill, give compliments in public. So they will make a greater impression on the interlocutor.

Summing up what has been said, I want to note that there are no losers in this case. A successful and correct compliment illuminates the good mood of everyone around. On the faces of the interlocutors, and on your face, smiles appear, well-being improves, and after it the mood.

And finally, I suggest you watch a wonderful video about the power of a compliment:

Give compliments and give people joy, for your own good!

If you find an error, please highlight a piece of text and click Ctrl+Enter.

Pay attention to how children react to praise in their address. They usually smile. And we are ready to try, just to once again hear the words of approval. If you didn’t learn from your childhood the ability to accept compliments, it’s not too late to learn this now. The ability to accept compliments will show people that you are good, open man. Plus, it's really, really nice.

How to accept compliments

How to compliment

Can you learn to compliment yourself? Practice on loved ones. But first, straighten your eyebrows and smile. Or wait until you are in good mood. Because the compliment, said with a gloomy face, is in the spirit: “And your skirt is what you need!” perceived more as a threat.

• Any person can find a lot of advantages. Find - praise, but be sure to sincerely. The interlocutor, as a rule, will try to tell you a return compliment.
• Never use a compliment selfish purposes. Thus, you turn this nectar for the heart into the usual slippery and two-faced flattery. Flattery is not a compliment, but only a set of words, the beauty of which is lost in fake smile and soothing voice.
• There are no prepared compliments; real praise is always spontaneous and sincere.
• Praise the person for something specific, don't use general phrases like "You're beautiful!" or "You are a good worker." Each person is an individual. What kind of compliment would you like to receive? And which one is the most desirable for you? It is said that women love to be told about their irresistibility. Emphasize what exactly you think is irresistible specific woman. “I love the smell of your hair” sounds much nicer and more gentle than “You are the best.”

Positive emotions can be given not only to a couple of the closest people. Just try to smile at the one you like to a stranger and watch the reaction. Also remember when you last time compliment right on the street? How has your mood changed? Precisely because this praise was unexpected and sincere, you remember it to this day.

How to compliment subordinates:

Any production process includes not only the relationship of people to each other, but also the relationship with the management. Much depends on how the leader behaves towards subordinates.

Wise leaders understand that distributing compliments right and left does not earn real authority. First of all, you need to be really a good leader, objective, honest, if necessary - tough. A compliment can only be considered as a piquant addition to your image. But here it is important not to "overdo it." For a manager who compliments his subordinate, it is important to remember the following.

• If you want to note the responsibility and diligence of an employee, then pay attention to his specific achievements. The phrase "You are a responsible person" do not be too lazy to expand "... the way you coped with the last project should be an example for all of us." You will be pleasantly surprised by its performance in the future.
• It's better to compliment professional qualities employee than personal.
• Compliments to a person of the opposite sex, frankly calling for flirting, should be postponed for the appropriate relationship and environment.
• Constantly sounding the same compliment loses its value.
• If the manager makes personal compliments, but at the same time does not notice the real achievements of the employee, this can serve to reduce production motivation.
• When a manager intends to fire, do not "sweeten" the pill with personal compliments, thereby he will only reduce the person's self-esteem. Better try to be objective.

It is always easier for people to enter the production process when complicated personal relationships in the workplace are not in the way. This applies to the leader and subordinate, especially.

We must strive to ensure that the situation in the workplace is not ambiguous. When the relationship between the leader and the subordinate is "transparent", it is easy and pleasant to both speak and receive compliments.

How to compliment men

Keyword here is "to speak". Contrary to popular belief that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach (and women, as we remember, love with their ears), it is rather about strong half humanity can be said to love with their ears. Praise, compliments and even, to be honest, flattery are deeply loved by men. Only - shh! They will never admit it.

Yes, men should be complimented. And maybe more. Thus, you will please your man, show that he is special for you. And believe me, you yourself will benefit from it! “Darling, last week you washed your mug like that after drinking water, just a feast for the eyes. Can you also wash all the dishes wonderfully now? ” "Darling, you are good father! You take such good care of our son, yesterday you patted him on the head. Walk with him, please."

Of course, it’s not worth cutting off the shoulder at all. The compliment should still be believable, you should not stoop to rude flattery. If you tell a skinny man how athletic he is, it will seem strange, to say the least. don't invent something that doesn't exist. And only compliment sincerely. If you really like a colleague's new tie, tell him about it. But don't praise your boss's tie just because it's the boss. And then in the office cafeteria, talking about "those creepy colorful polka dots."

Don't "suck" compliments out of your finger. If I tell you in this moment nothing, just shut up. Do not set yourself the goal of praising a man at all costs. You should not reinvent the wheel: "Nikolai, you have a surprisingly elegant skull shape." This will only confuse the man, and he will avoid you in the future.

If compliments for women are mainly addressed to their appearance and cause a surge of narcissism, then for men they are a signal for action. Therefore, before releasing the “arrow”, set it in the right direction. To do this, try to find out as much as possible about your man's hobbies. Do not make empty generalizations, pay attention to specific details.

Psychologists say that men should be praised deservedly, avoiding vague phrases with vague overtones: “You are so extraordinary today,” otherwise they will respond to you with sarcasm or wariness. If you don’t know where to start, play on your “instincts” - you won’t miss. Having seized the moment, frankly notice how courageous, reliable, sexy he is. However, if your man is smart and insightful, it's better to admire his intellectual achievements.

If you are interested in his activities, encourage him in moments of failure, actively discuss topics that are attractive to him, laugh at his jokes, listen carefully and patiently to his thoughts, emphasize his significance in the eyes of society and in yours personally - this will be a real compliment for him. And you will become not only true friend, a confidant, but also the most desired and the only one.

To win a man's attention, compliment him not too often, but in a timely manner and from the heart, avoiding ironic praise. Focus on it positive qualities or even a faint hint of their presence. And then any, the most ordinary man, will inevitably turn into your prince.

How to compliment a friend

Alas, it can be extremely difficult to get pleasant words from a man - very often they do not understand why you need to talk about your charm and beauty all the time.

In view of this, compliments from a girlfriend can become a compensation for the lack of compliments from the stronger sex, because they are just as pleasant.