What does it take to be a lady. True lady: how a real woman should not behave

The secular etiquette situation is the most familiar and natural course of our life. The lady, as the main one in this situation, must skillfully dispose of the privileges corresponding to her position. A well-bred woman has her own secrets and tricks, which will be discussed today.

Secret one

It is not necessary to strive to greet those who are younger than us first. True, it is worth noting that, as with any rule, there are exceptions. And they belong to the following social groups:

members of the royal family;

heads of state or government;

clergymen;

senior citizens in high positions.

Representatives of these groups will always be senior!

Secret two

You can greet and greet a junior in status while sitting. It is not recommended for a self-respecting lady to get up.

Secret three

In some circles, even in a secular situation and regardless of gender, a handshake is an integral part of the greeting. For example, in Europe, the handshake among women in various fields- a common occurrence.

By the way, shaking hands is an important part of communication. have their own hidden meaning and laws. But more on that ahead.

So, if a lady greets a junior in status (do not forget about exceptions, about them above in the text):

you can not extend your hand for a handshake (at your discretion and desire);

if you want to reach out and shake, you can do this without getting up (in case you are sitting).

Man and woman in public places. Instructions for use

Even if our companion does not know all the rules for the correct treatment of a lady, he can be imperceptibly led to these innovations.

Secret Four

When we are accompanied by a man, it is better to go along right side. This tradition is rooted at a time when men wore swords and sabers on their left sides. And in order not to touch their companion with this weapon, accompanying the lady, the men walked to her left.

However, here we are waiting for our exceptions:

Today, military personnel do not carry sabers. That's why, if you are accompanied by a representative of military etiquette, it is better to go to his left, so as not to interfere with him to salute with his right hand. This nuance also applies to the clergy, since they bless with their right hand;

At social events and receptions, solemn events and balls the lady is also better to be on left side from his companion, because, meeting familiar men at this event, he will shake hands with them with his right hand;

On the street a man should walk from the side of the bridge or roadway. Or, for example, from the side of the "hedge", from the side of abandoned buildings and garages. In a word, from the side where it is dangerous, so that if something happens, take the blow. Here, again, a lady can take the initiative and imperceptibly change lanes to the far lane;

If there is a path ahead in a forest / abandoned place / dark park, potholes and pits, road repairs or a narrow bridge, a man should go ahead (read: a lady can let the man go ahead) to feel the road and determine the degree of safety. In case of danger, he will always have the opportunity to overshadow the lady. Or “at worst” just give the lady a hand, help her (especially if she is wearing heels!);

Who walks through the door first. A man should be the first to enter unfamiliar and dark entrances (with a tremor in his voice, “it’s dark there, I’m afraid,” we again let our gentleman go forward). If it is a restaurant/theater/shop or a hotel where the door is opened by a porter, the woman is always the first one to pass. In the absence of a porter, the man opens the door himself and holds it until the lady enters the room;

When we go up or down the stairs, accompanied by a companion. In this case, it is also better for a man to go ahead, giving a hand to a lady. This tradition came to us from the distant XII century, when women walked in long and voluminous dresses and electricity did not yet exist. The gallant knight of that time carried a lit torch in his right hand to illuminate the dark corridor of the castle. In his left hand he held right hand her companion, who was lifting up the hem of her long skirt with her other hand.

It is very important when descending the stairs to keep your hand not only on the railing, but also on the hand of your companion. Once in a restaurant I had to be an unwitting witness to ignorance this rule. This incident happened in winter, when the snow on our street shoes in a room it turns into water in a matter of seconds. And the combination wet shoes, slippery footprints, stone steps and heels make our movement on the stairs extreme and dangerous.

The lady who entered that day, overtaking her escort, began to cheerfully descend into the basement of the restaurant (the restaurant was several floors high). Slipping in the middle of the stairs, she hurried down on her knees, unable to grab onto the railing. The man descending behind him couldn't even grab her, it all happened too fast. And if not for the waiter, who happened to be downstairs, the poor woman would have smashed her head on the marble steps - he managed to keep her head from hitting. As a result - a broken heel, torn tights, ruined hair, shock, tears ...

And one more little nuance. In the opinion of the author of these lines, only the spouse can go behind - for the reason that he is not forbidden to watch your so-called "rear view". Personally, someone else's pair of eyes from the “rear flank” interferes with me, so I let all the men go forward. These are my personal beliefs, but, as you know: "The desire of a lady is the law."

Secret Five

Once I heard an ironic saying: if a man opens the door of his car to a woman, then this lady is his mistress, or he has a new car from which he blows dust particles. Do not be this! You give a caring attitude to your wives! Therefore, it would be good to ask your spouse (or gentleman) to open the car door for you when you get in and out of it (with the expectation that this action will become a habit for him). It's so beautiful!

Secret six

AT public transport enter first better for a man. Same as getting out. In this case, as in the rest, the hand given by your companion will not interfere.

Women's self-presentation

Remember the lessons of femininity from the secretary Verochka from the good old film "Office Romance"?

"That's what distinguishes business woman from… a woman? Gait! How do you walk!? After all, this is mind-boggling! Everything will be tied up in a knot, everything will shrink like an old torn shoe, and now it’s scratching for work - as if it were hammering in piles! And how do we go? A woman must be a mystery. The head is slightly raised, the eyes are slightly lowered. Everything is free, the shoulders are thrown back, the gait is free from the hip. Uninhibited, free plasticity of the panther before the jump.

The stable expression " elegant woman”is associated not only with behavior, but also with the manner of behaving, with appearance.

Secret seventh

Posture. Here everything is known on the advice of the same Verochka. “Head forward! Chest forward! Get behind you! In front of you belly! All in yourself! And went with a free gait! The leg is free from the hip. ”But only, according to Vera, do not wag your hips like a promiscuous woman. In a word, walking training with books on your head is just what you need here.

Secret Eight

Sitting style. Distinctive feature elegant ladies - knowing how this is done allows a woman not only to look decent, but also to avoid funny situations when more than it should be revealed to the gaze of outsiders. So, the pose "foot on foot" - bad manners. Modern representatives of the highest circles sit exactly as follows: the back should be straight, the shoulders should be lowered. The knees and feet are brought together. In this position, the legs can be taken to the side, shifting the center of gravity to one thigh.

Secret nine

Going down and up the stairs, it is better to put your feet and knees as close to each other as possible. In this case, the woman looks very neat - slender, collected, like a string.

Secret ten

When you are sitting, it is better to fold your hands into the so-called "English castle" or put your palms on top of each other. Do not warm your hands between your legs. Or fiddling with a purse, watch, ring. A woman nervously fingering gives the impression of an unbalanced person. This nuance is especially good to remember in those cases when you are really worried and do not know how to sit down and where to put your hands.

I would like to sum up the conversation about female elegance with the words of the brilliant Alexander Sergeevich. It was he who brought together all these qualities and displayed them in the face of the married, transformed Tatyana Larina.

***
She was slow
Not cold, not talkative
Without an arrogant look for everyone,
No claim to success
Without these little antics
No imitations...
Everything is quiet, it was just in it,
She seemed like a sure shot
Du comme il faut…
(8, XIV)

***
The ladies moved closer to her;
The old women smiled at her;
The men bowed down
They caught the gaze of her eyes;
The girls passed quietly
Before her in the hall, and all above
And raised his nose and shoulders
The general who entered with her.
No one could have her beautiful
name; but head to toe
Nobody could find it
The fact that fashion is autocratic
In the high London circle
It's called vulgar.
(XV)

***
Sweet carefree charm,
She was sitting at the table
With the brilliant Nina Voronskaya,
This Cleopatra of the Neva;
And you would rightly agree
That Nina marble beauty
I couldn't outshine my neighbor
Even though it was stunning.
(7, XVI)

Every girl, at one time or another in her life, discovers in herself a desire, how to become a lady. After all, it is femininity and sophistication that attracts representatives strong half humanity, and not rudeness, impudence and childishness. A girl can remain a real tomboy in her soul, but on the surface a real lady should show perfection, an ephemeral pattern, orderliness and decency. So, here are some ways to turn into a real lady.

1. Dress like a lady

For those who seek to master science, how to become a lady, you must remember the main rule: you need to look like a lady. As you know, they are greeted by clothes, which means that a lady should be dressed according to her created image. Of course, it's not just skirts and dresses. A lady may well wear jeans, trousers, and shorts. However, all this should look very neat and elegant. And, of course, according to the situation. Wrinkled, dirty, sloppy and overly colorful outfits are not an option for a lady. Never wear it in public stretched sweaters with kangaroo pockets and a hood on the back. Femininity here and does not smell.

2. Move like a lady

Has anyone ever seen a princess or a queen or the first lady of a country in a too relaxed pose: with her legs apart, hunched over or stomping like an elephant? Probably not. Ladies always behave with dignity and style. So the second rule how to become a lady is to walk and sit like a lady. The gait should be light and crouching. You should sit with your ankles crossed.

3. Talk like a lady

Female voice is an incredible tool. It can be used to create or destroy. With the help of the voice, you can speak words of wisdom or weave gossip and intrigue. A woman's voice can be harsh and critical or soft, kind and warm. How to become a lady? Learn to speak correctly. The female voice of a true lady should always be sweet, gentle, and she never screams in public.

4. Check like a lady

Before going outside, a real lady must make sure that she really looks stunning. Therefore, leaving the house you need last time. Not a single hair should stand out from the hairstyle, all clothes should be carefully selected and not stick out where they should not. And then you should put on your most open and sincere smile on your face and - go ahead!

5. Act like a lady

Everyone knows the saying that actions speak louder than words. And it's so true." And, of course, this phrase is directly related to the lady and her behavior. If a lady says one thing and does something completely different, then she is unlikely to be considered a person of honor. Behavior should correspond to words and in no case differ from them.

6. Think like a lady

Of course, everyone knows these girls who dress like real ladies, talk, walk as such, but in the circle of loved ones, and even more so alone, they again turn from princesses into frogs, forgetting about manners and the necessary feminine behavior. Therefore, one should not only work for the public, but also for oneself in the first place. A girl who wants to be a lady must want it with every fiber of her being. Therefore, she should learn to think so.

7. Manners like a lady

Good manners never hurt! And even more so for those who decided to try on the "fate" of the lady. The whole image can be destroyed with just one catastrophic gesture, an indecent anecdote or chewing with an open mouth. This will immediately betray an ill-mannered person.

8. Humble as a lady

The modern world is rapidly transforming, and the times of knights and ladies are graduallygo into oblivion. However, a person is his own master, and therefore he decides his own further fate: is it worth it to indulge in all serious, indulging in carnal pleasures, or move away from this in search of true feelings and joys.

9. Smart as a lady

Many people think that a girl who looks elegant, behaves beautifully, actually turns out to be a dummy. And so that this does not happen misconception, you need to constantly develop your intellect and be aware of the latest events, forming your own point of view on them.

Cool encyclopedia for girls [ Great Tips how to be the best in everything!] Vecherina Elena Yurievna

Rules real lady

Real lady rules

Many girls dream of being the most beautiful and attractive. They want to enjoy life and receive friendly smiles in return. They dream of a handsome prince who will love them. However, in order for everything to be just that, you need to make some efforts. Every girl (and you are no exception) can become a young lady if she takes care of herself, her speech and manner of communicating, and keeping herself in society. And then the general delight is guaranteed to you. Here are some tips and tricks to help you develop right line behavior in communication and life.

Appearance. It is important that your appearance is appropriate for your age. Avoid excessive use of makeup or clothes worn by older women ( business suits, office dresses and grandmother's sundresses). Young girls have their own fashion and clothes that match it, and which will decorate you much more. The main rule in clothing is that it should not be too open. If the top is open (for example, a topic), then Bottom part body almost to the knee should be closed. If you are wearing shorts or a short skirt, then a more closed T-shirt or blouse will suit them.

Make it a rule to choose only one: Short skirt, tank top or bright lipstick. Together these things are incompatible.

A short skirt does not decorate the girl at all. She is more indicative of her promiscuity. For a young lady, this is completely useless. Her beauty and attractiveness are expressed not only by her appearance, but also by her mind, character, and sociability. Normal stylish clothes you can be much more interested in guys and in general everyone around you. Therefore, the main skill of a young lady is to look stylish without excessive exposure of the body. Not suitable for a contender for this title and the constant wearing of jeans, especially with a bare stomach. Skirts of moderate length and dresses adorn the girl most of all.

Be sure to look neat and at home. Dressing up just to go out of the house is not at all good for a young lady.

? Behavior. This component moment of the image of a young lady is manifested mostly in communication with other people. Correct behavior can be learned. You also need to be able to control yourself. For example, when meeting or communicating with unfamiliar people I would like to talk less about myself. It is better to answer questions with phrases with a general meaning, without specific details. You don't have to tell everyone about your personal life. Its details may be very interesting to your interlocutor, but this will not lead to anything good, but will only contribute to the appearance of gossip. You can read special literature about the rules of communication. In communication, it is important to be able to listen to the interlocutor, to make him feel understanding, your tact. Talkativeness is not acceptable for a lady. During a conversation, do not actively gesticulate, be distracted by phone calls, interrupt the interlocutor. Having begun to control yourself, it is very easy to master these simple rules behavior. DO NOT decorate the girl bad habits. Even for the company you should not smoke or drink alcohol. They are harmful to health, cause a feeling of debauchery and lead to an early fading of beauty.

? Politeness and tact. These qualities are very important for a young lady. Calmness is a character trait that can be developed. It allows you to navigate many difficult situations and choose the right course of action. You should be tactful not only in conversation, but also in relation to people who are less attractive in appearance, worse dressed. In other words, don't turn up your nose. During a conversation, you should remember such words of politeness as “thank you”, “please”, etc. If you are in a company of arguing or conflicting people, then try not to take a position. Stay neutral. If you notice that one of those present has violated the rules of etiquette, then you should not be reminded of this. Tactfully act like you didn't notice.

? Remember your virtues. Every person has some flaws. We need to work on them, eliminate them. But when talking to other people, forget about them. At your leisure, remember your virtues more often and use them in communication. If you are positive inside, with love for yourself, then the people around you will perceive you just like that.

? Keep your posture. In the view of every person, a girl who claims to be a young lady must have a good posture. A straight back, a raised head with a raised chin, free and calm hands. This position definitely suits you and is worthy of a young lady.

? Personal care. Be sure to take care of your face and body, as well as your hair. Appearance is business card every girl and woman. Many skin problems adolescence(greasiness, acne) can be eliminated. Starting to take care of yourself from a young age, in the future you will retain youth and attractiveness for a longer time. Skin care can help prevent early age-related changes although they are still very far away. Be sure to pay attention to your arms and legs. Without manicure and pedicure at least hygienic, a real lady is indispensable. Hands should be well-groomed, soft, and heels clean and smooth.

? Don't be afraid of change. In adolescence, life is hectic. The girl is faced with a lot of new things. Do not be afraid of changes in life and change yourself. This is a natural process of growing up. At each stage of life, a person comprehends the previously unknown and changes under the influence of this. active people purposefully looking for changes in life. They have many activities - hobbies, sports, creativity, which contribute to the development of personality and make life more interesting.

? Your scent. Surrounding people are very pleased when a pleasant and individual smell comes from a person. Therefore, cleanliness of the body and clothes is very important. Do not use a lot of perfumed cosmetics or water yourself abundantly toilet water. Everything is good in moderation. Look for a scent that suits your style and that you like. toilet water spray in a small amount on a clean body, and not on clothes. If you have a headache from the smell or it is very strong, then it does not suit you.

? Your style. On television, we see a lot of beautiful women, especially representatives of the show world. You should not copy others and adopt their manners of behavior and communication. It will look like a cartoon. You can take note of the general advantages of any girl - politeness, tact, the ability to cheer others up, vital activity. And look for these traits in yourself. Then they will show up naturally and become yours. The same applies to makeup. Having made up like any famous pop star, you will not become one. And you can lose yourself behind someone else's mask. Yes, and it's not reasonable. It is unlikely that a guy will be proud that his girlfriend looks like ... but yours own style he appreciates. Guys value girls in which there is individuality and dissimilarity to others. However, all your personality traits must fit within the rules for young ladies.

? Behavior at the table Pay attention to your behavior at the table. Eat with gusto and beautifully. Don't stick around strict diets, which make others sad, of course, if they are not prescribed by a doctor. A healthy appetite always adorns a girl. After eating for 5-10 minutes it is useful to chew chewing gum to refresh oral cavity and breath.

? Gait. Pay attention to your walk. A young lady will never waddle, shuffle her feet and wave her arms. You need to walk with straightened shoulders, raised chin. Hands should be freely located along the body and move slightly in time with the steps. When walking, do not look under your feet and slouch. The gait says a lot - about the state of health, well-being and upbringing of the girl.

? Learn new things. It is interesting to communicate with a person who has a broad outlook. Therefore, a lady should have a large stock of knowledge on various issues. Read more books. You can, of course, use the Internet, but information from books is better remembered.

? Specialty of the house. Every girl is future wife and the hostess, and it's time to master the kitchen. Learn how to cook at least one dish that will become your signature dish, such as apple pie. You can treat your friends to them and show yourself as a hospitable hostess.

? Voice. Always speak calmly and moderately loudly. The interlocutor should not ask you again, but also recoil from your cry too. Even if something throws you off balance, stay calm and never raise your voice.

? Behave according to the situation. Imagine that you are playing the lead role in a movie. Try to imagine yourself in different images, but at the same time be sure to remain yourself in each of them. It's interesting and exciting. Different events happen in life and you need to be able to behave accordingly every time.

Be generous to your friends and loved ones and be able to forgive insults. it the best remedy keep the attraction long years.

? Do not show your mind excessively. People around are always annoyed if someone shows himself too smart and constantly speaks in quotes, cites encyclopedic data. Everything is good in moderation. Other people should also speak out and they should not be made to understand that they do not know something.

Smile. It shows that everything is fine with you and the birds sing in your soul. By the way, usually people think that they smile because they feel good. This also works in reverse. If you feel sad and this state is delayed, then try to smile at something. After a while, you will notice that your mood has improved and life has become more fun.

? Less tears. It's not right for a young lady to cry. It is a mistake to believe that tears touch another person and help achieve something. In most cases, tears are negatively perceived by a communication partner. You are no longer a baby who can burst into tears over any trifle. A real lady knows how to control herself.

? Look into your eyes. During interesting conversation look into the eyes of the interlocutor. This helps to understand the other person, contributes to the development of mutual sympathy. Of course, you do not need to hypnotize the interlocutor with a look. Just be natural and don't be afraid to look the other person in the eye.

? Praise. Doing good deeds for others, never expect praise. Don't skimp on it yourself. Give others sincere compliments, thank you for your help. Just keep in mind that flattery and pretense are always felt.

? Sense of humor. Laugh heartily at funny situations. Do not just laugh, crouching and showing everyone the tonsils. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. A sense of humor helps in the fight against some of their shortcomings.

? Congratulations. Do not forget to congratulate your family and friends on the holiday and birthday. You can make a list and follow it on a calendar. This will help to remember in a timely manner that someone needs to be congratulated.

? Drive away negative emotions. Negative emotions, such as envy, anger, irritability, have a very detrimental effect on girlish beauty and attractiveness. Don't give in to them. Find the positive in everything. Rejoice for your friends and loved ones, share their feelings with them. This is one of the secrets of personal attractiveness for everyone.

? Show emotion. Don't force them inside of you. Everyone has the right to experience a wide variety of emotions. If they appear in moderation, then they naturally flow into one another. You can openly show emotions, designating them with words. For example, you can directly say that you are upset or offended. It's better than sulking all evening with resentment, and everyone will wonder what's happening to you. Make it a rule before going to bed to remember something pleasant from recent events. This will help you fall asleep and wake up faster. good mood.

? Don't be intrusive. Communicate more with those people who reciprocate you. Do not impose yourself in other people's companies, but you can make sure that you are invited there.

? Down with laziness. Laziness, like negative emotions that has a devastating effect on a person. find yourself different activities(sports, hobbies, housework) and know how to enjoy them. Then there will be no place for boredom in your life.

Lady See also "Gentlemen" A lady is not a gentleman. George B. Cabell A lady is a woman who makes a man look like a gentleman. Russell Lines Lady: A woman who never shows her underwear unintentionally. Lilian Day Theatrical hero believes that