Weather: features of raising children with a small age difference. Children of the same age are not a test for the weak - psychologist
– This children with a minimum age difference of up to 3 years.Main problems faced by parents children of the same age, are associated with their aggression directed at each other, sometimes with the desire to destroy a sibling, jealousy of the mother, rivalry weather with each other, in order to be better and loved by the mother, the desire to take away a toy from a brother or sister in whom he was interested, the difficulties of discipline ( children easily turn each other on).
1.AGGRESSION. The child in the womb shares physical and psychologist ical boundaries. At birth, the commonality of physical boundaries is violated, but the common psychologist The physical boundaries of the child and mother remain until the age of 3. At approximately 3 years of age it occurs psychologist The physical birth of a child, his separation from the mother, although the baby takes the first steps towards his “I” only when he begins to walk, the parents experience obvious difficulties in raising their child.
If a baby has a brother or sister before his third birthday, then at the same time he and his mother psychologist ical space, a common world with her, a third one enters, and it turns out to be superfluous to him. Therefore small children very often they try to harm their sibling and beat him. Parents have to remain vigilant so that trouble does not happen. Having crossed the border of three years, the child continues to maintain negative attitude to his sibling and often offends him, pushes, pinches, and hits the defenseless baby. As the younger one grows up, he begins to offend the older one, getting even for the past. Aggression can reach such proportions that separation is often the only way out of the situation. children.
2. JEALOUSY. The next problem that parents may face is weather – This intense jealousy on the part of children in relation to their mother. Initially, the eldest child was perhaps the only one in the family; he was looked after, adored, and given maximum attention. And so the mother became pregnant, being a competent mother, she, of course, tries to devote all her time to the baby, but he feels that the mother is worried about someone else. The youngest child is born and DETRONIZATION of the eldest occurs, literally he is thrown off the throne of the only or youngest child in the family. Such a fall takes its toll psychologist ical injuries and generates hatred towards the baby, around whom everyone is now running around, and sometimes towards the mother– she is also the root cause of these unpleasant changes in his life. At any cost, the older child wants to overthrow the younger one from the throne and take his rightful place as the main favorite in the family. He tries to prove that he is better or to attract attention to himself, often with hysterics, whims, damage to property, and playing tricks, just to be in front of his mother. An older child may run away from his mother during a walk, in a clinic, or climb a high hill, only for her to leave the little one and rush after the older one, throw tantrums in the store so that she gives him maximum attention, endlessly spill juices and milk at home, just to Mom cleaned after him, not the younger one.
In such a tense and nervous situation, it is usually very difficult for a mother to remain calm. She begins to get irritated, lose her temper, and yell at the elder, and the latter’s resentment towards her only increases because of his mother’s behavior, and his jealousy towards his sibling intensifies.
Mom, realizing perfectly well that her care and love needs to be shown to her elder, is torn between household chores, children, who don’t let me do anything, my husband, and sometimes my work. Gradually, she begins to feel complete powerlessness in relation to numerous attempts to turn this “madhouse” into a cozy abode with a warm family atmosphere, where the “flowers of life” grow.
However, after 5 years, the older child can become hyper-obedient, responsible, and subsequently an excellent student and achieve a lot. All this just to prove that he better than that an infantile impostor, so that he would be set as an example for the younger ones and his mother would love him more.
3. RIVALRY. What normal parent does not try to instill in their children love for each other, a sense of kinship, brotherhood, the importance of supporting and helping each other. When raising weather – This is an extremely difficult task in their struggle for power in the family, “a place in the sun,” which, of course, is next to their mother. Rivalry becomes noticeable when the youngest turns 3-4 years old. Each of children strives to be the first in everything. Children They can interrupt each other, trying to out-shout, speak (yell) first, argue and brag. And if it doesn’t work out to be the first, then he abandons the task altogether, for example, getting dressed, putting away toys, drawing, and doing some kind of educational tasks. And the more he is forced to do things where he is not the most successful, the more negativism the baby develops.
It is absolutely forbidden to compare children with each other. You can only celebrate everyone’s achievements, compare them with your own previous achievements and reward them for it.
4. DISCIPLINE. Despite the rivalry, in a number of situations weather demonstrate an amazing unity of purpose. If one is very excited and spoiled, the other is turned on in earnest. Together they feel their strength over a parent who simply cannot cope with two. Effective way To calm them down for a few minutes is to isolate them from each other, for example, separate them into different rooms, for 3-10 minutes, but no longer.
Behavior children of the same age often resembles communicating vessels. If everything is great with one, then the other begins to wedge: he gets hysterical, gets angry, refuses to fulfill his mother’s request, or vice versa, if one is rowdy, then the other tries to be a good girl.
5. SELECTING TOYS. The desire to take away a toy that a sibling liked may persist until the end of the junior year. school age. Children before school they tend to take each other’s toys away from weather this desire is exaggerated. The explanation is simple: having a toy in your hands– this is a confirmation of the integrity of personal psychologist ical boundaries, because life weather – This is a constant attack on each other's personal space. Besides, what you don't have in your hands always seems better.
It is absolutely impossible for them to acquire various toys, despite the fact that buy expensive toys twice to parents psychologist it's technically difficult.
There's only one way out here– having personal but identical toys children. It's part of their privacy, respect for them psychologist ical boundaries.
OPTIMAL BEHAVIOR
Take care of your good relationships children necessary even during pregnancy with the youngest. You need to explain to the eldest that soon your family will become even larger, and therefore life in it will be more interesting, a baby will be born, he will require a lot of care, but when he grows up, he, the eldest, will always have someone to play with. The elder's behavior may change with your pregnancy; he may become more restless and not give you time to rest. Art therapy on the abdomen will be used. Buy Finger paint, V as a last resort honey watercolor, and invite your elder to draw a surprise drawing on your pregnant round belly for the little one inside. Explain that the little one feels everything, and this message will greatly improve his mood. For all family holidays and Russian celebrations, offer to draw pictures for the child inside you or sculpt something for him from plasticine, clay or dough. Explain that the baby inside you feels everything and will be very happy with all these crafts. Display your elder's work in a prominent place.
This is how bonding is formed. Bonding–
it is an invisible connection that is established between children. The stronger it is, the more children close to each other.
WAYS TO OVERCOME PROBLEMS
1.
Don't compare children together. Notice everyone's successes and praise them for them. Encourage your children to be proud of each other.
2.
Try to children It was not a mono-attachment that was formed, that is, only to you, but a multiple attachment to all family members. To do this, actively involve relatives in communication and care children. Take an example from large Italian families.
3.
Be sure to follow the regime from the first days of life children don't sleep in the same pastel with them. Introduce clear rules and follow them. This will create discipline.
4.
If you observe disrupted behavior in your children, first of all focus not on changing them, but on individually establishing your relationship with each one. Answer yourself the question, what is the child not happy with? Analyze the reasons.
5.
Do things that you need to do while sitting children sleep, and active ones, such as cleaning, cooking, when they are awake. This way they won't distract you.
6.
From the first days of the younger one's life, teach the older one to look after him. Be sure to express your pride that you have him like this good helper.
7.
Don't overcharge children toys, but don’t deprive them of them either. Try to avoid visiting with children hypermarkets and big stores with toys–
This is too much for the fragile child’s psyche. Teach children appreciate the toys they have. With an abundance of toys children They stop appreciating them completely. They need new toys more and more.
Everyone should have their own place to store toys, for the cleanliness of which they are responsible.
Teach to share everything with each other, starting from sweets, teach to share with others children.
Buy children identical toys. By doing this you emphasize their privacy, which weather and twins need to be highly respected. Privacy–
these are personal interests, things dear to the heart, feelings that the child does not want to share with others, things that relate to his inner world and to the uniqueness of his lifestyle. Privacy is directly related to psychologist the child’s logical boundaries, which are formed at approximately 3 years of age.
8.
It will be better if children will attend different clubs. When choosing clubs, you need to focus on their interests. Remember, if in this area you start from the interests of children, and not your preferences, children will grow up initiative, and initiative–
this is a property of the will.
9.
Create family traditions. Family traditions strengthen the family, contribute to the formation among its members of a sense of common destiny, unity, cohesion for the ages, enhance the closeness of relationships, psychological comfort in the house. Family traditions should not be confused with ways of spending holidays, holidays and weekends, for example, family trip in Egypt.
Bye children A little family tradition can be reading them a bedtime story. As soon as your youngest begins to sit in a high chair, arrange daily dinners with the whole family for round table under a lampshade without a TV, where everyone will tell everyone their news of the day. Anything can be discussed. It's very strengthening parent-child relationship and relationships between children in the family. Cultural trips to the theater and museums on Sundays with the whole family, country walks every Saturday. Make gifts with your own hands for the holidays, make them all together Christmas decorations, design Family album, family tree, and also a sea of very different family traditions. The main thing is that these become unshakable rituals that bring pleasure to everyone. “Nothing is so unshakable in this world as its changeability,” says Chinese wisdom. Family traditions–
an exception to the rule, they guarantee stability, tranquility, happiness where there are lasting values.
10.
Do household chores with children. This way you not only instill in them hard work and responsibility, but also improve intra-family relations, soften the desire to compete with weather. When you come from a walk with your dog, undress, wash the dog’s paws together, and brush him. When you cook, be sure to invite the children to help, for example, you can stir pancake dough or casserole mixture, or scramble eggs for an omelet. After meal children You must remove all the dishes yourself. They can help wipe leaves and water flowers. During cleaning, distribute responsibilities, who does what, turn on music, work with good mood and help each other. If you have a summer house, encourage your children to take care of the garden. All this brings the family together, strengthens relationships, promotes hard work, responsibility, and will. So children develop many times better than in any even the most advanced “development studio for raising little geniuses.”
11.
Cooperative games. It is better not to introduce a child to TV until he is 3 years old. Later–
maximum half an hour a day, be it cartoons, fairy tales or children's programs. But computer gadgets contribute to degradation children. What you can do good for your kids is to teach them to play together. Introduce them to toys, show them how to play with them, role-playing games are especially interesting, teach them not to fight, but to independently resolve conflicts peacefully, give them treats, and share everything. Help your children played team games, for example, twelve sticks, Cossack robbers, football, so they learn to interact in a team, and other yard games, such as goat, dog, bouncer, where they learn to lose. Joint Board games at home with the whole family or with friends in lotto, dominoes, dice, scrabble, etc. They also teach how to lose and how to act while following the rules. Developed social skills contribute to good relationships among siblings.
12.
Define family roles. Indicate that there is a younger child and an older child. Educate based on this distribution of roles. Teach the older one to help take care of the younger one, try to become a role model for him, and it is better to teach the younger one to obey the older one and learn from him. This distribution of roles sharply reduces competition, because everyone has their own place in the family, develops responsibility, instills respect for elders, and strengthens the family.
13.
Cultivate in children sympathy for each other, form the habit of coming to each other’s aid, dividing any goodies into two parts. This means that when one of them falls or hits himself, teach the other child to take pity on the victim and give him moral support. Teach children to rejoice in each other’s successes as if they were your own, and to feel proud of each other.
Hello, our dear readers! Today's article about raising children is not an ordinary one. What makes it special is that it was sent to us by a reader. In this article she shares her experience.
I would compare the weather with the modern film industry. You watch the trailer for a new film, and you immediately want to run to the cinema. You run to the cinema, buy a ticket and realize that you have been deceived!
But this, of course, is a joke. I love my children very much, but sometimes raising children of the same age leads to a dead end of hysterics, irritation and nerves.
Rule number one. Daily routine and self-discipline.
How to cope with two kids? First of all, you need to properly organize your day. I started by analyzing my emotional and physical costs, time thieves, etc.
Fortunately, what saved me was that even before the birth of my second child, I taught my firstborn to a strict routine. We ate on time, walked, played and went to bed. We approached the birth of our second child almost automatically - this significantly reduced my labor costs.
Rule number two. Help me? Yes please!
At first, my upbringing of the weather was based on the scheme: “I myself - myself - myself.” Pull two strollers and two kids outside? No problem! Sweaty and red, I was content with my self-sufficiency for a long time. But then it dawned on me: why? After all, you can ask for help:
* husband;
* husband's relatives;
* your relatives;
* friends;
* girlfriends;
* neighbors;
* random passers-by.
I confess to you very honestly: in my heart I was ALWAYS ashamed to ask someone for help. It seemed to me that I was obliging people. Such emotions overcame me even if I had to ask very close people for help.
Step by step I began to “break” myself. At first she asked for mere little things. Having become stronger in this field, she moved on: she asked to run into the store or help lower the same stroller. So you shouldn’t refuse anyone’s help.
Rule number three. Each one has a roll.
Raising the same age is a very interesting in its complexity process of working with jealousy. It is very important to pay attention to everyone here. And at the same time, caring for one can be combined with communication with another. For example, when I feed the younger one, the older one always fusses with us. He either watches the feeding process, or we talk to him or play simple oral games. In the end, you can tell a fairy tale.
Rule number four. Two children = two personalities.
Do you know what is most important for me in raising children? This is awareness and acceptance of the fact that two children are two different personalities with their own tastes and characters. In our nursery, each of the boys has their own little corner. The youngest has only a crib and playpen for now, while the older one has his own play area and bed. In the future, I believe it will be necessary to separate space and toys even more. In my opinion, children should understand that every thing has an owner. And you can’t take someone else’s property (even if it’s a brother or sister’s) without permission!
Rule number five. Two products in one.
Raising children of the same age is the remarkable ability to raise two children at the same time. wonderful people. And put these in them important qualities like cooperation and compromise. I try to diversify our games: game form children must learn to make decisions together. Team games help bring “rivals” together and show one simple truth: victory is achievable only through joint efforts! Why do I like this rule? It simultaneously performs two functions (and, therefore, saves my time): it takes the children’s time and develops them as individuals.
Mother of two adorable kids
Olga Alekseeva.
photo by Elena Medvedeva.
You are again expecting a new addition to your family and now you will have children of the same age, but you are worried about the question of how you will cope with the children?
I think your concern is unnecessary. Raising children of the same age is actually much simpler than many parents imagine.
The situation when a family raises children one year apart has many advantages, and in some cases it easier education children of twins, or at least at least no more difficult.
In any case, every woman should understand her responsibility, but not give up the happiness associated with the birth of a child.
Today I will not describe the material side in detail - it, like everything related to children of the same age, has pros and cons, but in my understanding, it’s more likely not even disadvantages, but some difficulties. I will only note that the savings are felt especially strongly immediately after the birth of the second child.
As your children grow older, you will notice that clothing for babies allows you to save a little, especially if the children are of the same sex. Now we will return to the main issue of this article - the advantages of raising children of the same age.
Firstly, children have the same daily routine and therefore arrange them life together much easier. They will spend time waking up and falling asleep, eating, walking and playing together.
Secondly, they like the same games. When the youngest child learns to crawl, you can organize fun and games for the children together: “catch-up”; bathing together; a house made from a large box or under a table. Children play there with pleasure.
Third, in children of the same age similar interests, so they can easily be captivated by similar activities. You can read books, sit both children next to each other, and invite them to draw, sculpt, or assemble construction sets. Later, when children of the same age When they grow up, they will play in the sandbox or ride bicycles together. Youngest child At the same time, he tries not to yield to his elder and often achieves success.
When visiting clubs, sections, studios, parents should remember that the programs preschool education designed for an age difference of up to 1.5 years. But you should not send children to the same group. The younger child may not yet be physiologically ready to master this program and it will be much more difficult for him than for the older one. Better to offer to children similar activities, but in different age groups.
Fourth, similar children are more interested in spending time with each other than with other children. Despite the fact that quarrels can often arise between them, which are sometimes quite violent (especially between boys), they make up quickly enough and continue to play as if nothing had happened.
Unlike children with a fairly large age difference, quarrels between similar children only bring them closer together. Even the competition that was in younger age, will not affect their relationship in the future.
Fifthly, V adolescence children will not need to look for an interlocutor: they will be happy to talk with each other about their dreams, grievances, and plans for the future. They often have shared secrets from their parents, they like to share clothes and games. They have mutual friends, hobbies.
Of course, when raising children of the same age, parents will encounter problems, the reasons for which will be a slight difference in age. The main thing is to try to create situations in which children will become closer to each other, learn respect and mutual assistance. They must understand the most important thing: a sister or brother is a person who can help in a difficult situation.
One of the main and necessary points is to bring the children's regime to uniformity. Try to create a daily routine that is comfortable for everyone. If your older child wants to play, don’t constantly snort at him. Try putting your youngest to bed in the kitchen or another room.
Prepare your baby for a brother or sister both physically (teach him to sleep separately, do without), and psychologically. Often, children who are already completely independent when a fourth family member appears, “fall into.” They behave as they do, demanding a lot of attention.
Do not reproach the child, just calmly explain that he has already outgrown this age. When asking to bring or serve something, use the pronoun “me” and not “him” (brother or sister).
When raising children of the same age, especially at first, it is simply necessary outside help. But you should not completely leave your firstborn in the care of nannies or grandmothers. Try to give him attention and love. Let dad and grandmothers also help in raising youngest child. At this time, you will turn your attention to the elder.
It is very difficult to keep track of both children while walking. Therefore, by the time the baby is born, try to teach your older one to walk without a stroller. In addition, a two-year-old child is very active and is subject to more careful control. You need to be on the safe side in time and catch the tomboy running into the wrong place. This is quite difficult to do when you also need to look after the stroller. To solve this problem, you can purchase a sling for the younger one.
Causes special trouble winter walk. To prevent one child, whom you have already dressed, from standing and steaming in a fur coat, teach the older one to deal with buttons and shoes on his own. Moreover, at this age, children develop the habit of “me myself.” It would be nice to buy him boots with Velcro and clothes with snaps.
When the children grow up, do not perceive the older child as an adult, because he is still small. Don't present it to him increased requirements, do not develop in him a sense of unhealthy competition or jealousy. Buy toys, books, clothes at the same time.
Do not isolate your older child from your younger one. Let him help you look after him or play with your little one. Tell and explain more to your child. You shouldn’t throw away the rituals that are familiar to you two. If before the birth of your second baby, when you put your firstborn to bed, you lay down next to him and read bedtime stories, continue this. Try to structure your day so that at this time the younger one does not require your attention.
Usually parents of the same age have no problems choosing a school or kindergarten. Send your children to one educational institution, there they both will need each other's support. As for organizing leisure time, it is better to take into account the individual wishes of everyone.
After two years, raising children of the same age becomes much easier and simpler than children with bigger difference aged. They organize each other well, they are much more interesting together. The older child will feel like a real assistant in education younger brother or sisters. This sense of responsibility for one’s neighbor will only benefit him in the future.
Who are the “weather guys”? These are children born about a year apart, one after the other. But I often heard that many children with a difference of up to two years were called the same age.
Many families think about children of the same age: children of the same age are more interesting together, they can use general things and toys.
But often physiological reasons It happens that the second child is a true “surprise” for which you were not prepared. Mothers do not have time to rest from one pregnancy before another begins. This is a lot of stress for the body, and right away two small children in a family is a big responsibility.
Below we will look at the pros and cons of having children one after another, and then I will talk about own experience raising kids with a little difference. So, what will children of the same age delight you with??
You will be able to “extend” your maternity leave, and then get serious about your career. Children of the same age will help you “save” time.
It will be easier for you to deal with age crises children if they come at the same time. In adolescence, children will even be able to support each other, share problems, etc., without fear of being misunderstood. In children with big difference At an older age, such crises occur alternately, and parents do not have time to recover from them.
Children do not like to wear the clothes of their older brothers and sisters. Children the same age can change items of clothing, but while they are small, they don’t care at all that their undershirts and diapers have been used not so long ago.
Psychologists note that similar children are much less jealous of their parents towards each other. The thing is that the first child simply does not have time to get used to the focus of parental attention on him, and the prospect of sharing the love of adults with someone does not frighten the baby.
Mothers know that their children constantly need communication. At home, the weather is great for entertaining themselves. Moreover, more active child stimulates the development of the second.
Children the same age learn to resolve conflicts peacefully; they are less selfish, as they are accustomed to the fact that they have everything in common.
In the future, problems with kindergarten and school are easier to solve if there is little difference between the children. They help each other in the garden, use the same textbooks, because school program unlikely to change dramatically in one year.
What difficulties await you with similar children?
Your body is exhausted after the first birth, so the second pregnancy will most likely proceed differently from the first. You are unlikely to be able to achieve the necessary peace of mind and peace of mind, because the already born toddler will require attention.
It is difficult to adjust the routine of two children so that the mother has time to rest. You will have to be patient and get used to the fact that you will have a lot more worries.
In order to breast milk it was ok, mom needs to rest too. Children of the same age exclude the option of helping an older child, which means you will have to enlist the support of grandparents.
All children get sick sometimes. And if (God forbid) one person becomes seriously ill, then you need to go to hospital with both of them. Exceptions are young families with relatives who are ready to help at any time.
There's more than one waiting for you conflict situation and the tear-stained eyes of children because of a doll or a car. But if you make a little effort, children will learn not only to give in to each other, but also to help. Under no circumstances should you constantly emphasize that the elder should yield to the younger: This will set the wrong priorities, and the junior will begin to take advantage of his impunity.
Although the age difference between children is small, the eldest of them bears a certain responsibility. He will have to give up the pacifier faster, potty train faster and set an example for the younger one. Many children like this role, but with proper support from their parents. In no case should you place excessive demands on your older child or deprive him of affection and attention, which both children should go equally.
I have often encountered cases where children the same age were sent to study in the same class, because this way it becomes much easier to monitor them and prepare for classes. To do this, you have to either send the older child to school a year later than expected, or the younger one a year earlier. The first option is almost always unacceptable: the child will simply not be interested in studying with younger children, whom he will be ahead of. As a result, he may lose interest in learning.
Steal from the younger whole year I don’t want childhood either. Therefore, it is still better if children go to first grade commensurate with their age. The only exception is when the younger one is ahead of developmental norms and both children really want to study together. You shouldn't deprive them of such pleasure.
I am very I prepared my daughter in advance for the arrival of her brother. The age difference between my kids is 1 year 10 months. Not quite the same age, but a two-year-old child is still not quite independent. The daughter spoke only a few words; of course, there were no conscious dialogues. As soon as my belly became slightly visible, I constantly told her what kind of little person lived in it, how we would all live together, how they would play, and how great it was to have a brother. She was looking forward to his birth.
When my son was born My daughter didn’t feel any jealousy. She had already gotten used to it in advance. Jealousy appeared only a year later, when the youngest began to walk, began to interfere, became interested in her toys and demanded my attention. From the very beginning, I tried to involve her in caring for the baby as much as possible. For her it was a kind of game, caring for a living doll. But she felt needed by her mother, not forgotten. Now they are only 1.5 and 3.5 years old. They don't play together much yet, but they quickly begin to miss each other. I can say that it is easier to watch two such children than one - attention switches, there is no fixation on one child and his problems. They distract each other themselves. Children are forced to learn to play and do everything on their own, although the older one does not want this at all. The younger one is very attracted to the older one, he development is underway forward much faster. Due to the small difference in age, it is easy for them to follow each other’s example and repeat, because they are still not far ahead in their development and interests.
Now about problems. I’ll say right away, after the youngest goes - it will become easier, Truth! Until you see it for yourself, you won’t believe it, but it’s true. Over the past six months since this event, I have seen incredible progress. I even began to forget that there were any problems. Most likely, most of them existed only in my head and not in reality. I wanted too much for no one to cry or be capricious, for everything to go smoothly, measuredly, according to plan. According to my plan))) After I relaxed and gave the children the opportunity to be children, everything became much easier.
So, some tips, but rather examples of what to do in different situations.
If possible, use everything you can to make your work easier! Washing machine, dishwasher, robot vacuum cleaner, delivery of groceries, books, things and other things to your home, window washing and one-time cleaning on call, etc. The time saved will simply give you time to rest and recuperate.
How to put the weather to bed.
If the children wanted to sleep around the same time, then I put the older one in the crib, the younger one in my arms or in a sling. Then she took the younger one to another room. I was very afraid that night feedings would not allow my daughter to sleep properly. Six months later, I put them to bed in the same room, the eldest did not wake up from screams, so I was afraid in vain. It all depends on sleep specific person. There are children who wake up from the slightest creak, but you can experiment.
If children sleep in different time , the older one was watching cartoons while I was putting the younger one to bed. If possible, one of the relatives would play with her. Now she has already gotten used to my putting her to bed, and calmly remains alone in the room, occupying herself with dialogues with toys and role-playing games for half an hour or even more. I know children who have favorite activities for half an hour or an hour, for example, Legos, magazines, favorite toys. If the elder does not play on his own for more than 5 minutes, this will help a lot nap on the street. There is no need to be afraid that your child will not fall asleep next to the playground because of the noise. You can quietly sing him a lullaby or just talk to him - the timbre of his mother’s voice will calm him down and partially drown out the street noise. Of course, with this regime it is very difficult for mom to rest. But there is a great opportunity to be alone with each baby.
Bathing.
While the youngest was very small, I bathed him first, then the older one. She washed, dried, dressed - everything in the bath. As soon as the baby began to sit, they began swim together. The little one sits in a special chair, the older one is just next to him in the bath. Everyone fits, although the bath is small. Every bath turns into a game, sometimes with role-playing toys, and sometimes with splashes and foam. Since I bathe them alone, when there is no one else at home, I wash them, then I pull out the youngest and carry them into the room. The eldest remains in the bath, but is not silent for a second - she sings songs so that I know that everything is okay. Then I take her too. I apply the cream, put it on, and clean the ears of both of them at once.
Feeding.
When I breastfeed my youngest, eldest daughter Always near. I used to read books to her or tell her something, sometimes we just fantasized or reminisced, now she just looks at little brother and admires him. He strokes his head, tells him how small and cute he is, and eats milk. This is another moment for everyone to be together. Probably, if the eldest son, it will be a little different. We tried to sit down at the table at the same time, the eldest herself, and I spoon-fed the baby. The son himself began to try to eat at 1.3. And now I set the table for everyone at the same time, my daughter carries forks and spoons, sets out bread, butter and plates. I definitely eat with them myself, then they help put away the dishes and wipe the table wet wipes(as far as they can, of course) and run to play. At the same time, they don’t have specific responsibilities, we just do everything together, for children it’s just another game with their mother.
Household chores: washing, ironing, cleaning, cooking.
My machine does the washing, but my children help me fold dirty clothes, hang them up, and take them out, as soon as they can walk. And they really like this process! So don’t deprive your baby of the pleasure of sorting out different objects, serving, folding, etc. I iron only after lights out - it’s still very unsafe. Ironing can be perfectly combined with watching a movie., there’s no time to watch them separately anyway. Cleaning can also be done with children if you break it up into small pieces into zones. It is also better to leave cleaning and general cleaning for the evening, nap or before dad. By the way, small children love to sweep the floor, wipe the floor and tables with damp rags or napkins, and run around throwing garbage into the trash can. Several times my daughter and I arranged a “surprise” for her grandmother, cleaning everything up in the playroom for her arrival. One day, such a surprise awaited me when I was putting my youngest to bed. So your example is the best! Don't show that Homework it will be a burden and punishment for you, and then the children will simply perceive it as part of their life. 
Cooking: We started cooking together when we were 1.5 years old. This is just something that is done quickly so that the kids don’t lose interest. For example, compote or a simple pie. The kids' responsibilities include: measuring and putting all the ingredients, bringing me food from the cupboards (after 3 years and from the refrigerator), stirring something that is not hot, greasing it with oil, whipping it with a mixer with my help, etc. In fact, you can’t only go to the stove and hot food. They know perfectly well what is where, what is needed, they distinguish sugar from cereals, watch the process with delight, ask a million questions - they study the world to the fullest. When you need to cook a lot on the stove, it’s at bedtime or in the evening, but some of the dishes can be done together.
