Instilling discipline and a culture of behavior. Discipline in the family as a good family tradition

Briurosh S.N.

Parent meeting "Education" conscious discipline»

“A child is a mirror of the family; just as the sun is reflected in a drop of water, so the moral purity of the mother and father is reflected in children” (V.A. Sukhomlinsky).

"Our children are our old age, bad Education- this is our future grief, these are our tears, this is our guilt before other people, before the country" (A.S. Makarenko).

Plan:

Motivation for holding a parent meeting and choosing its topic.

Definition of the concept “discipline”.

Ways to form conscious discipline in children.

The effectiveness of the methods of reward and punishment used.

Decision of the parent meeting.

PROGRESS

Introduction.

Good evening, dear parents. Our parent meeting consists of two parts. The first is the theoretical part, the topic of which we will determine together later. Second organizational matters, which we must solve before the end of the quarter.

The deputy director is present at our meeting. If you have questions for a member of the administration, you can ask them.

I propose to speak clearly, specifically and to the point, so as not to drag out our meeting. For personal questions, you can contact us after the meeting.

So, let's begin.

Determining the topic of the meeting. Motivation.

To determine the theme of our meeting, read quotes from well-known sources. - Predict the topic of our conversation.

Why is it important today to talk about the formation of conscious discipline?

Because first grade is a turning point in a child’s life. He adapts to new conditions. There is a transition from the leading play activity to educational. He must learn to comply with certain school rules behavior. Moreover, everyone experiences this adaptation period differently.

And if we miss this moment in terms of education, focusing only on subject knowledge, then in the future we will have a literate person, but one who will not adapt well to society.

A disciplined employee is always valuable in any enterprise. Conscious discipline of any person is based on an understanding of one’s duty in everyday work, on the awareness of a sense of responsibility for every word and deed before others. What is “conscious discipline”, and at what age should one begin to develop this quality? This is what we decided to talk to you about at the meeting.

This topic is also relevant because this problem of education is present in our team.

Definition of “discipline”

Some adults think that if a child is polite, he follows the rules good manners, then he can be considered disciplined. However, it happens that adults make this conclusion only based on external, ostentatious signs. But in essence, not even every child who is distinguished by obedience and diligence can be called a consciously disciplined person, for whom this quality has become, as it were, a character property.

- In “Dictionary of the Russian Language” by S.I. Ozhegov wrote down “discipline” - ... obedience to the established order, rule, obligatory for all members of any team.” Accordingly, a disciplined person is a person who submits to discipline, maintains order, and is educated.
- If you ask for clarification of the meaning this concept to the opinion of the authors “ Encyclopedic Dictionary”, then you can read that discipline is “a certain order of people’s behavior that meets the established norms of law and morality in society, as well as the requirements of a particular organization.”
- In my opinion, the point of view of the American psychiatrist Ross Campbell is also interesting, who believes that “in the field of raising children, discipline is training the mind and character of a child so that he becomes independent, able to control himself, a worthy and constructive member of society.”

By what signs do we recognize well-mannered person with self-discipline? (see slide)

Factors influencing the formation of conscious discipline.

How to cultivate such a quality in a child? Moreover, our children are so different from us adults.

We, two different generations, raised in different conditions and on different traditions. An interesting theory of generationspresented by scientists Neil Howe and William Strauss.

According to their theory... (see slide)

But, despite the fact that we are so different, that we were born and raised in different eras, the main value guidelines are formed in the family. And the process of forming a child’s conscious discipline largely depends on the education and discipline of the adults themselves with whom children communicate daily. This means from parents first of all.

What factors influence the formation of conscious discipline in a child in the family?

The child is required to be diligent and persistent in his studies, conscientious, true to his word, precise and neat in his work, be able to organize his time and leisure, show respect for elders, take care of loved ones, be modest and polite. Also, instilling discipline is probably associated with introducing the child to perform some duties.

Children need to feel that they belong to the family, that they belong to it. If they do not see positive ways to do this, they find other opportunities to prove their importance.

This is where problems arise.

Reasons for negative behavior in younger schoolchildren.

What are the reasons for the negative behavior of our guys?

- First I suggest you answer the questionstest , which offered parents the magazine “Education of Schoolchildren.” I will not check your results, so I ask you to answer honestly so that you can see the real picture for yourself.
Place numbers from 1 to 14 on the line, separated by commas, this is the number of questions. When answering a question, you need to put one of the numbers: “yes” - 2 points, “somewhat”, “sometimes” - 1 point, “no” - 0 points. Answer questions quickly, without thinking, by recording your scores under the question number.

TEST

1. Do you think that your family has mutual understanding with children?
2. Do your children talk to you “heart to heart”, do they consult you “on personal matters”?
3. Are they interested in your work?
4. Do you know your children's friends?
5. Do your children participate with you in household chores? Do they have permanent responsibilities in the family?
6. Do you check how they are learning their lessons?
7. Do you have any relationship with them? general classes and hobbies?
8. Do children participate in preparing for family holidays?
9. And “children’s holidays” - do the guys prefer that you be with them, or do they want to spend them “without adults”?
10. Do you discuss the books you read with your children?
11. What about television programs and books?
12. Do you go to theaters, museums, exhibitions and concerts together?
13. Do you take part in walks and hiking trips with your children?
14. Do you prefer to spend your holidays with your children?
We count the number of points scored.
Ready to get an estimate?

So. Your relationship with your children can generally be called prosperous if you havemore than 20 points. From 10 to 20 points Relations can be assessed as satisfactory, but not multilateral enough. You should think about how they should be improved and supplemented.Less than 10 points . Your contacts with children are clearly insufficient. Must be taken Urgent measures to improve them.

Let's determine the reasons for undisciplined behavior.

Imitates adults;

The desire to stand out because it is not noticed;

Revenges for dislike and disrespect;

Desire to manipulate adults;

Protest against existing rules;

Lack of uniform requirements;

Permissiveness and connivance;

Manipulates adults.

Ways to form conscious discipline in children.

Let's determine ways to develop conscious discipline in our children.

Personal example adults;

Comfortable family environment;

Acceptance, respect and love of the child for who he is;

Unity of interests;

Participation in the life of the child;

Unity of requirements for the child;

A clear daily routine, work and rest;

Responsibility for your actions;

Family responsibilities;

Adequate control.

Offers:

Together with your children, make a list of necessary things to do to help your family.

Teach children the skills of work and do it together with the children until they learn to work independently. Let them know that if necessary, you will always be there. Step aside and don't interfere unless asked. If problems arise, discuss them, do not rush to criticize, especially at the moment when the work is being done.

Provide children with age-appropriate equipment, such as a small broom, small gardening tools, etc.

Set up a homework time where everyone in the family can work together, rather than posting a to-do list for the kids.

Value input, not the quality of the work done. If your child loses interest in his work halfway through, praise him for completing it instead of having him finish it completely.

Don't feel sorry for your children and don't do their work for them because they have a lot of work to do or because they play sports. Help them organize their time so that Homework was not to the detriment of other activities.

Make sure the job is age appropriate.

When teaching conscientious discipline, parents shouldRight ask your son or daughter that the child fulfill this request.Wherein :

address the child with a request politely, avoid a commanding tone;

try to induce in the child a responsible attitude towards fulfilling your request;

when making a request, give the child instructions for fulfilling it;

don’t ask your child to do something he can’t do, teach him first;

Please do not forget to express parental gratitude for the fulfilled request.

The effectiveness of reward and punishment methods.

Promotion - This is a manifestation of a positive assessment of the child’s behavior. There are many ways to express your positive appreciation to your child. This is a gentle glance, an encouraging slight nod of the head, an approving gesture, and kind word, and praise, and a gift... It is important to “cause” a feeling of satisfaction, so that everything related to the fulfillment of norms and rules of behavior is accompanied by positive experiences.

Punishment is a negative assessment of a child’s behavior. The meaning of punishment should be to awaken remorse, a feeling of dissatisfaction with one’s behavior. Similar to rewards, there are many ways for adults to demonstrate their negative attitude towards their son or daughter’s misdeeds: a cold look, frowning eyebrows, a warning gesture, an angry word, etc. “I didn’t expect it from you,” the mother says sadly, and for the child this is already a punishment, because from the lips of the loved one there was a negative assessment of his behavior.

It is very difficult to determine the necessary punishment and its measure. It must correspond to the offense. The child is very sensitive to the fairness of punishment. If parents are confident in the appropriateness of punishment, then they still need to show flexibility and diplomacy. Please remember the following:

You may be wrong.

Have the courage to apologize to your child if you punished him undeservedly.

Monitor your child’s behavior and try to prevent possible negative actions.

Result of the parent meeting.

I want you to think about the topic of our meeting, because we have such problems. And profanity offensive words, intolerance towards each other, raising one’s voice if it is not heard the first time, outbursts of anger, even assault, undisciplined behavior when there is no adult control, poor performance homework(if mom hasn't checked), etc.

It should be noted that children themselves suffer greatly from their lack of discipline and from a poorly organized way of life in the family. The way of life, the regime adopted in the house, is that external order with the help of which certain frameworks of behavior are elementarily formed. The family regime is a certain system of means and methods that help raise a child. Of course, this is not a panacea for all ills, but a good helper. It is by observing the regime that the correct disciplinary experience is accumulated to a significant extent and the ability to control oneself comes, which we call self-discipline, and without which a person cannot be considered truly disciplined.

Discipline - mandatory and conscious submission of one’s behavior established standards public order. The presence of discipline is necessary for organizing any activity, especially in a team environment. By showing discipline, a person thereby expresses his respect for the rules of behavior in society, for the people with whom he works, lives, and rests.
Discipline plays an important role in the formation of personality, helping to cultivate such aspects of it as the ability to obey the general requirements of the team, follow the established rules of life in it, and restrain from unreasonable desires that run counter to common interests or opportunities for their implementation, organized behavior, obedience, self-control. And therefore discipline should be considered as the result of all educational work. This position was especially emphasized by A. S. Makarenko.
For preschool childhood when correct organized conditions education, there is a significant increase in the discipline of children. Yes, already in younger group under the influence of interest in the situation specially created by the teacher, they show restraint and organization (they carefully get up from their chairs and put away toys before getting ready for a walk, so as not to wake up the doll, they try to get dressed independently, without distractions, to please Parsley, etc.).
By helping children gain experience in actions that comply with the rules of behavior, the teacher ensures that these necessary modes of behavior are consolidated, become more conscious, stable, and manifest themselves both under his supervision and voluntarily. As a result of the formation of disciplined behavior, older preschoolers are capable of choosing the desired action, of such reasoning as: “I want, but I can’t, and therefore I must give up my desire”; “I don’t want to, but I have to, and therefore I must complete the assigned task.”
Soviet pedagogy stands on the position of unity in the formation moral qualities personality and their external expression in manners, culture of communication and behavior.
Kindergarten forms in children certain norms of behavior, which reflect their attitude towards adults, peers, the public domain, their own activities, responsibilities, and a culture of behavior is manifested. Children master these norms of behavior by mastering a number of rules that govern their various relationships with people. The rules, due to their specificity, become accessible to children’s understanding, are acquired by them in the process of various activities and relationships with others, and turn into skills and habits of behavior.
Very important with early childhood to form in children respectful attitude to adults. From the first years of life, a child enters into certain relationships with adults: parents, close family members, who surround him with love, affection, care, creating an atmosphere of warmth, security, and goodwill. Upon entering kindergarten, the child’s circle of relationships with adults expands. Children enter into relationships with a teacher, nanny, nurse and other employees. And therefore, from the very beginning, it is necessary to develop in them the correct ways of addressing adults, forms of showing respect for them, which would be based on affection, a sense of respect and trust, obedience (the desire to listen to elders, willingly fulfill their requests, suggestions, show courtesy, desire please an adult with your actions, etc.). In older preschool age, children strive to help adults, take care of them, try to please them, and protect their peace. Children learn the rules of behavior in in public places, show attention, courtesy and politeness in communicating with people.
IN kindergarten children are surrounded by peers, and therefore the teacher is faced with the task of forming norms of behavior in them that reflect their attitude towards peers, based on respect for comrades, responsiveness, compliance, goodwill, and mutual assistance.
IN early age Children develop the foundations of these norms: the ability not to interfere with a peer’s play, not to take away a toy, but to ask or choose another one for themselves, to wait until he plays, etc.
Initial forms of positive relationships emerge: the ability to show responsiveness (to feel sorry for a crying peer, to please a toy), goodwill, a desire to play and study together. The teacher encourages children to engage in joint activities (sledding, playing ball, building a house from blocks, etc.).
Middle-aged children develop friendliness, the ability to empathize, sympathize with a friend, the desire to share, give in, and please. Behavioral norms are becoming more complex joint activities: children agree on sharing a toy, distribute roles in the game without lengthy disputes, help each other in common work, etc.
In older preschool age, norms of behavior in relation to peers are based on children’s greater awareness and ability to engage in voluntary behavior. They develop caring towards their peers, positive relationships in joint activities, the beginnings of collectivism, the ability to show concern for a sick comrade, fairly resolve a dispute, convince a comrade that he is wrong, or agree with his opinion, admitting his mistake, be warning: step aside to allow passage, move the plate with bread so that it is more convenient for another to take bread from it, give up your chair, delicately warn about a possible mistake.
Life in kindergarten creates many situations in which it is possible to foster friendly relationships between children. The teacher’s task is to use these situations to encourage children to take actions that reflect the norms of behavior in the team.
A large place in educational work is occupied by the formation of children's norms of behavior in public places, and above all in the kindergarten itself. These norms demonstrate respect for others: the ability to take into account the state of other people, take it into account when going about one’s activities, and not disturb others. Already in younger groups, the teacher teaches children to walk along the corridor without interfering with the work of adults (doctor, manager), to dress calmly, without shouting, so as not to disturb the children studying, etc.
The teacher teaches children to behave correctly on the tram, on the street, in the park. For example, he introduces them to the following rules: when playing in the park, do not disturb those who are resting there; When in public transport, keep silence, give way to older people, etc.
In kindergarten, children are taught careful attitude to things. It includes the formation of ideas that every thing is the result of labor, and therefore careless handling of it may indicate disrespect for working people. Standards of attitude towards things include the ability to use them for their intended purpose, always put them in their place, not to be indifferent if you find an item (toy, book) abandoned or left out of place, if you find a breakdown, seek help from an adult, try to fix it, fix it. Older preschoolers are often involved in cleaning group room, area in order to gain experience in caring for toys, aids, etc. Children develop the ability to maintain order and an intolerant attitude towards any violation of it. By raising them to be thrifty, the teacher at the same time prevents the manifestation of stinginess, greed, the desire to take care only of one’s own, while being careless about someone else’s.
At preschool age, children learn norms of behavior that reflect positive attitude to work. U younger preschoolers this should be manifested in the willing fulfillment of basic work assignments and interest in the work of others. Children early begin to imitate the skillful actions of adults and take part in their work, although their capabilities are very limited. Thus, they willingly help when setting the table, are happy to fulfill a request to bring or serve an item, hold an instrument, etc.
The teacher teaches middle-aged children to independently and willingly perform work activities available to them in accordance with the rule: “Everything I can, I will do myself.” They develop a desire to help their peers, notice their difficulties, and carry out individual tasks related to caring for the team.
In children of senior preschool age, the teacher develops an understanding of the need for work and fosters a sense of responsibility for the assigned work. This is manifested in the conscious fulfillment of instructions and duties of those on duty, independence and focus in work, the desire to mobilize one’s efforts to achieve results, and the desire for the most accurate implementation of instructions. Diligence is cultivated, the ability to get involved in work on one’s own initiative, to work in a small team, performing a common task: to agree on joint activities, to distribute work between participants, to help each other, to understand the dependence of the overall result on the active and conscientious fulfillment of each assigned task.
In kindergarten, starting from the middle group, children are taught to bear certain responsibilities. The teacher explains to them the meaning of duties, the need for them timely implementation, reminds of responsibility to him and the group team. He helps children fulfill their assigned responsibilities: he appoints people on duty in those types of work in which the children have already developed sufficient skills; comes to the rescue in case of difficulties; arouses interest in the duties performed. All this allows the child to cope with the task more easily and not be distracted.
Older preschoolers should take their responsibilities with even greater responsibility, consciously perform the work of the duty officer, understand its significance, take care of the objects entrusted to them, independently engage in work, and bring the job to the end.
The teacher instills in children a caring attitude towards nature. He teaches kids to walk only on paths, without trampling the lawn or tearing off flowering plants, and to collect fallen leaves; teaches them to notice changes in the life of nature, to see its beauty, and to treat all living things with care.
IN middle group Children should not only have kind feelings towards nature, but also take care of plants and animals, showing concern for them.
Older children are distinguished by an increased interest in nature; they observe, compare, note new things, collect seeds, grow plants.
Most an important condition Instilling discipline and a culture of behavior in children is the authority and culture of the educator and parents. The culture of the teacher, the nature of his communication with children, the style of relationships are of paramount importance in the formation of their discipline. The teacher’s ability to use advice instead of comments, and sometimes a joke, tactfully correct a violation, interest in children’s endeavors, the desire to support them, trust and affection - all these are indispensable conditions for children to grow trust in him, the desire to communicate with him, to obey him orders, readily responding to every request. Such a teacher enjoys great authority among children. They strive to gain his approval, and a colder treatment, some sternness in his gaze in response to a violation of discipline make the culprit feel not offended, but dissatisfied with himself, prompting him to quickly correct the mistake he made and ask for an apology for the offense. Children imitate an authoritative teacher and transfer his gentle tone and tact into relationships with peers.
The child's behavior also reflects the culture of the parents. Relationships in the family, goodwill in communication between its members become for him the example that he strives to imitate when entering into relationships with peers.
An important condition for instilling discipline in children is the strict implementation of the regime. Correct mode day allows you to maintain a balanced state in preschoolers, promptly switch them from one activity to another, avoiding overwork, and alternate hours active work and rest.
Being in a balanced state, children react more calmly to peer interference in their activities, positively perceive the advice and sometimes even the teacher’s comments, correct mistakes, easily tolerate insults, and calm down faster.
Clear implementation of routine moments also prevents behavioral breakdowns that usually occur during tedious waiting.
Dressing, washing and other processes associated with the regime are at the same time a means of developing in children a culture of behavior in a group of peers. Since at this time they are always next to each other, the teacher teaches them to politely make a request, ask for permission to pass, step aside to give way, and offer their help.
A clear regime allows you to form a behavioral stereotype. Children gradually learn the sequence and relative duration of routine segments, organize independent activity given the time as well as the next operating moment. So, between classes they organize outdoor games, and after nap- long-term creative group games, labor
Proper organization The environment in which children find themselves is also of no small importance for the formation of discipline and a culture of behavior. Selection of toys, various materials, manuals and equipment for work that correspond to the age of children, their interests and the content of accumulated knowledge, skills and ideas about the environment, convenient arrangement of furniture, thoughtful order of placement of playing materials, the presence of toys that help unite children into a team - all this creates conditions for the development of a variety of activities, captivates preschoolers, allows them to play, work, find activities of interest, and thereby prevents behavioral breakdowns.
The teacher pays special attention to ensuring that the group maintains an atmosphere of goodwill, varied and active meaningful activities for children. This instills in children a desire for constant employment, organizes their lives, and has a positive effect on the formation of discipline and a culture of behavior in them.
The behavior of children in kindergarten is regulated by rules corresponding to moral standards our society. Due to the concreteness of thinking, only rules that presuppose certain, specific actions are available to a preschooler. For example: “Any thing that has been used must be put back in its place”, “When entering a group room, you must say hello to everyone present in it”, “You must politely make a request, thank for the service”, etc. All the rules that given to children must be formulated clearly, accessible to their understanding, in the form of instructions, not prohibitions.
It should be remembered that each new rule takes time for children to assimilate it. The teacher explains the rule to them, teaches them how to implement it, reminds them of it, preventing possible violations. For example, before entering the dressing room, he tells the kids: “When you enter the room, don’t forget to wipe your feet. Our nanny washed the floor clean, we’ll try not to get it dirty.” Or: “Masha was the first to enter the dressing room and did not forget to wipe her feet clean. I’m sure all the kids will do the same.”
Children of middle preschool age should also be repeatedly reminded of the new rule, since their self-control is poorly developed. However, the reminder should not be in the nature of annoying edifications. For example, seeing a brewing conflict between children, the teacher turns to them: “I think you don’t need to be reminded of the rule, as friends do. You remember well that you need to be able to come to an agreement. Who will be the first to suggest what should be done?” etc. Such an appeal to children, containing the teacher’s confidence that they are good friends, encourages them to come to an agreement peacefully and contributes to the development of friendly relationships.
The teacher often explains to the children the moral content of the rules being introduced: “If you don’t apologize for your mistake to your friend, he may think that you pushed him on purpose and will be offended by you.”
The experience of behavior that complies with the rules is formed in children under the condition of organizing exercises in their implementation. This was also pointed out by A.S. Makarenko, who noted that between knowledge of how to act and habitual behavior there is a small groove that needs to be filled with experience.
By organizing children's behavior experiences that are appropriate accepted rules, it is important to ensure the unity of pedagogical requirements. It is unacceptable for one teacher to constantly demand that children follow the rules accurately and in a timely manner, to achieve awareness of the need to act in accordance with them, while the other pays insufficient attention to this. In this case, there is a danger of children developing the ability to adapt to the characteristics of adults.
Rules of behavior are introduced gradually, because the teacher either supports, approves of the children’s actions, or prevents repetition negative actions. By approving specific actions, he expresses his attitude towards the child. For example: “What a diligent Katyusha we have! I carefully folded all the lotto cards, closed the box and put it back!”
This assessment contains positive assessment actions and at the same time - the child’s personal qualities (careful, diligent). Children realize that not only actions deserve approval, but also the child himself: the teacher sets him up as an example and praises him. All this encourages them to imitate good example, earn the teacher’s approval. Therefore, he does not need to be stingy with praise and kind words.
The teacher also uses negative assessments of children’s actions. In these cases, the assessment of the bad deed should not be transferred to the child’s personality. An effective technique can be the following contrast in the teacher’s assessment: “I don’t understand how you are so good boy, my assistant, could have offended a comrade!” In such an appeal, one sounds both upset by the child’s action, and at the same time the conviction that he himself is good, that the negative action is just an accident, an oversight that cannot be repeated if the child tries to correct his behavior. Such assessments cause children not to be offended by the teacher, but to be dissatisfied with themselves, and then they strive to quickly regain his favor.
By instilling discipline and a culture of behavior, the teacher constantly complicates the requirements for children’s behavior, while he takes into account their experience, level of mastery of the rules, as well as the ability to consciously regulate their behavior.
In younger groups, teaching children to correct behavior, the teacher is moderately demanding of them, because for children, regulating their own behavior is quite difficult. At the same time, he consistently and patiently works to achieve obedience and some independence in children in carrying out basic behavior.
In the middle group, children have already mastered the first rules, and therefore the teacher constantly monitors their independent implementation, and in case of violation, seeks timely correction of the error. At this age, preschoolers already have great opportunities in regulating one's behavior. But they may exhibit a discrepancy between knowledge of the rules and actions. A child often acts contrary to the demands of adults, then realizes the wrongness of his action and sincerely repents of it. That's why important task the teacher is a warning possible violations, which is facilitated by a reminder of the rules, a preliminary assessment. By the end of their stay in the middle group, it is already possible to achieve relatively high discipline from children.
In older preschool age, sufficiently stable skills of discipline and a culture of behavior should be formed. At this stage, the ability for voluntary behavior increases sharply, which allows children to restrain themselves from unwanted actions and consciously follow established rules. At the same time, motives for behavior are formed, the desire to do the right thing, not because the teacher demands it, but due to the awareness of the fairness of the established rules. Friendly, comradely relationships encourage the child to give in, negotiate, and calmly resolve emerging disputes and disagreements. The teacher becomes more demanding of children, seeks from them quick and accurate compliance with the rules, greater independence in choosing an action in a variety of situations that arise in joint children's activities.
IN Everyday life groups, cases of conflicts between children, violations of discipline, and disobedience to rules may arise. The reasons for this are varied. One of the main ones is the inconsistency of the requirements for the child in kindergarten and the family, the lack of uniformity in methods of influencing him. So, if one of the parents often resorts to threats, shouting in case of disobedience of the child or is inconsistent in his demands on him (for example, today he must make the bed himself, and tomorrow the grandmother does it, etc.), then it is quite difficult for the teacher achieve positive result. This requires strict demands, combined with encouragement of the child, constant monitoring of his behavior.
Children also violate discipline in cases of fatigue, long waits, and in the initial (hidden) period of the disease, so the teacher must take into account the condition of the children and promptly transfer them from one activity to another.
Preschoolers also violate discipline in conditions where a system of prohibitions is established in the group, sometimes completely unfounded, or when the teacher constantly makes them wait for someone (“Let’s wait until Kolya gets dressed,” “Let’s wait until Seryozha finds a shovel,” etc.). ). Endless waiting causes irritation, children are looking for something to do and often break the established rules.
Cases of violation of discipline should be considered primarily as a pedagogical miscalculation in organizing the lives of children and directing their activities. The teacher should analyze how meaningful the activity of the child who violated discipline was, whether they helped him concentrate on the work he started and overcome the difficulties that arose. After all, most often children who violate discipline are those who do not have a sustainable interest in any activity. The best measure in such cases would be to involve the child in activities, help in organizing them, and advice to achieve results. If a child is overexcited and does not accept any advice or suggestions, it is better to give him the opportunity to calm down and only then include him in a variety of activities.
Sometimes the teacher has to resort to some measures of punishment in cases where he is convinced that the child showed indiscipline for a reason.
For example, a teacher may deprive a child for some time; freestyle wrestlers cannot remember several requirements at the same time and regulate their actions in accordance with them.
In shaping children's experience of behavior appropriate certain rules, a large place is occupied by the control of the teacher. This allows you to warn possible error child, promptly remind him of the rule, suggest the right action, monitor the quality of fulfillment of requirements by individual children.
Control is always accompanied by evaluation. Ability to play with peers: “I can’t allow you to play with your friends. You talk to them very rudely, you don’t know how to negotiate at all. Play here alone, next to me,” etc.
If a conflict arises between two children, the teacher must find a way to influence both, showing the extent of each person’s guilt. For example: “He answered you rudely, but why did this happen? Of course, being rude is very bad, and you, Kolya, are very guilty. And you, Andryusha, think for yourself what your fault is, why did Kolya answer you so rudely?” Helping children realize their share of guilt and improve their relationships - this is the task of the teacher. The same thing happens when a conflict or violation of discipline arises in a group of children. For example, the children started playing in the room with a ball and destroyed someone's building. They blame the boy who threw the ball last. But is it? After all, everyone played. And everyone could do the same. This means that everyone is a little to blame, because everyone forgot that they can’t play ball in the room. Such reasoning helps children realize their involvement in what happened, without shifting all the blame onto one of them.
The teacher should know that in kindergarten physical punishment is strictly prohibited, as well as those that injure nervous system child, insult his dignity, cause harm to health (deprivation of food, walks, removal from the group room, ridicule, nicknames, intimidation, etc.). Children often turn to the teacher with complaints. In order to treat each such case correctly, you need to understand the reasons that prompted the child to file a complaint and delve into its essence.
The complaint often expresses the preschooler’s attitude towards a situation that has arisen in the daily life of the group, when there is a discrepancy between the behavior of one of the children and the established rules. Such a complaint contains a question: the child wants to make sure whether he remembered the rule correctly, whether he could have done it differently. For example, the teacher prepared a book for the lesson and put it on his desk. Children know that they cannot take anything from the teacher’s table. “And Kolya took a book from your table,” the child declares, having discovered that his peer acted contrary to the rule.
In such cases, the teacher confirms the need to comply with the introduced rule, but does it differently, taking into account the age of the children. So, if a child commits such an act, the teacher takes into account underdevelopment his volitional processes, due to which the interest in the new, unusual turns out to be so strong that it cannot be inhibited by the action of the rule. “That’s right, Katyusha,” the teacher addresses the child, “you don’t need to take the book from the table. I'll show it to all the kids in class. Kolya, put the book on the table. You will give it to me when everyone sits down to study.” The teacher helps the child follow the rule without causing stubbornness or whims.
If such an act is committed by a middle-aged child, the teacher reminds of the need to follow the rule, emphasizing that at this age all children already know how to restrain themselves and do not violate prohibitions. And the child who has filed a complaint is advised to stop his peer the next time and remind him of the rule in force in the group.
Complaints often include an appeal to the teacher for help, support, dissatisfaction with a peer’s actions or his attitude, resentment (they took away a toy, teased, pushed, etc.). In these cases, it is important for the teacher to fairly resolve the conflict, establish everyone’s share of guilt and act in such a way as not only to restore justice, but also to regulate relations between children. For example, in response to a child’s complaint that his comrades do not accept him in the game, the teacher suggests first thinking about why they do this: maybe he himself will remember how he often argued with his peers because of his desire to always be first, or the game did not find a suitable role for him, or simply did not understand him. Together with the offended person, the teacher can discuss this issue with the children, help them include their peer in the common game (find a role, establish relationships, etc.)
Naturally, the teacher categorically forbids children to hit or push each other. However, even in such cases, he delves deeply into the motives of the offenses committed.
There are sometimes cases when one of the children often turns to the teacher with unfounded complaints. You should explain to the child the wrongness of such behavior, but do not discuss it in a group of children, so as not to cause them to have a negative attitude towards their peers.
For children of senior preschool age, the teacher helps them to understand the misunderstanding themselves, teaching them to listen to each other, convince, prove that they are right, instead of filing a complaint.

With parenting problems modern children all parents face without exception. And even with knowledge in the field of psychology and pedagogical skills, mistakes and distortions are not excluded. The most typical mistakes of family upbringing include incorrect setting of boundaries of what is permitted, lack of rules in the family, incorrect reaction to children's emotions and familiarity.

The direct embodiment of how a child integrates into the family structure are the boundaries that adults set for the child, the rules and requirements that are presented to him. The difficulty of setting these boundaries is familiar to many parents. However, the problems of raising preschool children related to the establishment of boundaries are a phenomenon in the history of pedagogy, most likely a young one. It appeared in connection with the tendency to humanize education, the rejection of physical and crude psychological “weapons” in ensuring the discipline of children.

It is precisely the rejection of harsh methods of influence on a child, the understanding of what an adult can do irreparable harm child, if he is treated cruelly, and becomes a mistake in his upbringing, the cause of difficulties in establishing rules for him. Parents have lost their traditional instrument of power - physical punishment, which is declared to be malicious. At the same time, parents did not acquire (or acquired in insufficient quantities) other educational tools - psychological techniques, the ability to convince and lead children, motivate them. In this situation, such a problem of family education of children arises as an error in setting boundaries for the child. In addition, many parents equate the concept of cruelty towards a child with the concept of rigidity in following the rules and attitude towards certain situations with the child. However, toughness does not mean cruelty, and in some situations, in order to maintain order, parents must have the courage to show this toughness.

Problems of raising preschool children in a modern family

Most requests to a psychologist about children concern problems with the behavior of children, the difficulties of parents in achieving compliance with family or social rules.

At the external level, the problems of raising children associated with setting boundaries for the child are expressed in the fact that it is difficult for the child in daily affairs: he does not want to comply with hygiene requirements (brush his teeth, wash his face), does not want to get up in the morning, go where he should, or , on the contrary, to leave places dear to his heart. May shout or be rude, and sometimes beat parents, refuse to do homework, put away his things, offend younger children or animals. All these phenomena are understandable in themselves; the child’s resistance to the rules is, on the whole, a completely natural thing. However, when resistance to the rules becomes total, the life of parents and children turns into a continuous struggle around the rules, the situation clearly needs correction. Relationships become strained, parents even begin to be afraid of the child, since he often creates exhausting scandals and can easily put others in danger. uncomfortable position by your behavior. Errors in family upbringing manifest themselves in the fact that the child constantly resists demands, and it becomes difficult to ensure basic standards of behavior and even safety.

How older child, the more experience he has at war with the rules of his parents or ignoring these rules, the more difficult the situation may turn out to be.

Such a situation, when a child refuses to obey the rules, may have deep reasons, which lie in the personality of the parents or the child himself. The underlying reasons may relate to the past of the family, the illness of one of its members, or other circumstances. These problems of raising children in a family are always individual; it is better to analyze them with a specialist.

Many child behavior problems relate to the way rules and boundaries are set for children. And what internal motivation drives parents when they set rules for their child.

Let's start with internal state parents, their attitudes regarding the rules for the child.

There are several typical mistakes in family education of children, unconstructive attitudes and ways of behavior of parents that prevent them from establishing reasonable rules in the family.

Current problem of raising children: lack of boundaries

A pressing problem in raising children in a family is the lack of boundaries. Often mistakes in parenting are due to the fact that parents themselves are not very sure where the boundaries should lie. If parents do not have their own confidence in what children can and cannot do, then they cannot convey this confidence to their children.

Lack of parental confidence in prohibitions, regulations and their own actions may be associated with contradictory or misunderstood theories of education. For example, a parent may be confused between the ideas that the child will not harm himself (will not hurt himself, will not be poisoned, or will not be cut if he is trusted), and traditional methods control and supervision of the child. Or the parent may live in uncertainty between conflicting attitudes - whether to intervene in children’s conflicts or to trust them natural instincts and allow one to learn to communicate, so to speak, “in battle.” Such current problems There are many ways to raise children along the parenting path, and if a parent does not have a clear idea of ​​how to act correctly, then he constantly transmits his uncertainty to the child. The lack of thought in the parents’ position and hesitation are visible to the child, read by him on an unconscious level, and by the time the child is finally presented with demands, he does not obey the parent.

Many parents object that, they say, everything is very relative, and times change, not to mention educational theories, which are often diametrically opposed in their prescriptions. And this is also a mistake in raising children, because it is very difficult to develop your own opinion on how to act when there is so much conflicting information, and own experience so few. All this is true, but this does not relieve parents of the need to find a foothold, develop their own opinion and act on it. People can make mistakes, change their judgments, and admit past decisions were wrong. However, if you decide to raise children, then your direct responsibility is to develop the system of guidelines (albeit imperfect) in which they are raised.

Mistakes of parenting: lack of rules in the family

Another typical upbringing mistake is the lack of rules in the family, a negative attitude towards boundaries, when parents generally believe that they stifle personal freedom. For various reasons, such people have a negative attitude towards rules as a phenomenon. This situation has its origins and grows out of human history. Some parents themselves are, in fact, rebels who do not accept any rules, authority over themselves, resisting established rules. Such parents can, on the one hand, try to establish rules for the child, and on the other hand, secretly encourage his resistance to the rules and admire the willfulness of the children.

Other parents are highly conformist, they are afraid to deviate from the instructions, but they would not want their children to repeat their fate and for this reason they make demands reluctantly, as if embarrassed by their role.

If you internally resist the very idea of ​​​​setting rules for your child, you associate rules with dullness, boring life, mediocrity, then you are transmitting contradictory messages to him on two levels. At the external level, of course, you must set rules for him; after all, no one relieves parents of the responsibility to acquaint the child with at least minimal social norms. But on a more subtle level, usually not verbally, through a complex system of rewarding the child’s rebellious behavior, you convey completely different signals. At a subtle level, he receives an order not to obey, not to recognize the rules. The child is never aware of the fact that different messages are contradictory. However, this greatly affects him and makes him worry. As a result of this double message Problems arise with the upbringing of children by parents, because the child is lost, does not want to identify himself with the rules that are offered to him, because the adults themselves have a negative attitude towards them.

Problem related to raising a child: fear of children's emotions

A common problem associated with raising a child is fear of his emotions. Often, parents cannot effectively set rules for their child because they are afraid of the child’s strong expression of emotions: hysterics, crying, outbursts of rage.

Many parents are afraid that their child’s strong emotions will harm their physical or psychological health. In an effort to prevent severe hysteria or crying, such parents make mistakes when raising children and follow their lead when the kids demonstrate powerful emotions. Interestingly, it is the children who have difficulty with boundaries who tend to be the most hysterical. By making concessions when a child is crying or hysterical, you teach him to constantly resort to this means in order to achieve what he wants, that is, in fact, you form a hysterical character.

This kind of behavior is quickly formed by children whose parents are sure that a child’s crying is an extremely dangerous phenomenon, and the child, without controlling himself, can injure himself. Usually such fears are greatly exaggerated, and a sobbing child is relatively safe if he is allowed to express his emotions.

No parent would want their child to cry; this is usually a very painful experience. The cry of a child is one of the most irritating sounds for the human ear; nature itself has made sure that we strive to comfort the child and stop the crying. However, is it always necessary to stop crying, are strong emotions, be they tears of rage or grief, always harmful to a child? Below are several pedagogical problems in raising children that arise in situations where the child demonstrates an overly acute emotional reaction.

When a child cries because of adult cruelty, fear, parental rejection, chronic mistreatment - these are tears that indicate situations that in themselves are harmful to the child. So, for example, if you locked a child in a cell as punishment for disobedience. dark room, where he experiences horror and cries, this is definitely a traumatic story that needs to end as soon as possible. But if your child demands his father’s phone number, another piece of candy, or to turn on cartoons for him and at the same time makes a very loud scandal, then his situation is safe, despite his violent emotions. Let him just express his feelings.

Some parents cannot stand hysterics, because during these hysterics they feel acutely bad parents. They begin to worry that the child does not love them or is too unhappy, and, therefore, they turn out to be bad parents.

One more important reason The reason why people are afraid of children's tantrums is, of course, public opinion. This could be the opinion of people close to you, for example, grandmothers or spouse, or the opinion of outside observers. In both cases, you can do typical mistake when raising children, make unreasonable concessions to the child in order to avoid the condemnation of others.

Fear of a child's hysteria, fear that crying baby causes great harm to himself (including physical), fear of criticism from others forces parents to make concessions, which affect both the current situation and the future character of the child. In addition, a situation where parents cannot tolerate the child’s emotions exhausts the parents themselves, making them hostages of the situation, depriving them of means and management tools.

The mistake of raising a family: familiarity

Among the main problems of raising children is familiarity, that is, an excessive desire to become a friend to the child. Many parents are sure that the best relationship between an adult and a child is friendship. Their greatest accomplishment would be to be able to say, “I am my child’s best friend!”

The belief that you need to be friends with a child has many aspects. One of them is that the parent wants to completely control the life and thoughts of the child, so he strives to be his best friend so that the child does not have secrets from him. Another error parenting is that an adult does not want to give up his place in the life and soul of a child to anyone, he wants to become everything for him, including his best friend. Often parents who pretend to be with the child best friends, have a tense or distant relationship with their parents, and have always felt a lack of self-love. Such people may strive for friendship with the child in order to prevent the formation of the same gap that separates them from own parents. In addition, in their closeness and exclusive position in the child’s life, they seem to compensate for the pain of rejection that they experienced in their relationship with their own parents. The love and affection of the child in this case should compensate for the damage received by the person in others.
close relationships (with your own parents, partners). In such cases, parents want all the child’s feelings and affections to belong only to them.

How to achieve fulfillment of unpleasant demands for a child without causing him irritation? How to avoid mistakes in family education children? The main concept on which the main idea is built - friendship with the child - is collapsing. If the mother had acted with a sense of her right to set boundaries and not strive at all costs to please the child, the girl would have accepted the rules more quickly. The atmosphere would become more defined, calm, and this is what would allow its participants to spend more pleasant time together.

The leading role of an adult does not at all mean army discipline, ignoring the feelings and will of the child, or a command-and-order system of communication. However, if there is no person next to the child who guides and, if necessary, limits him, then one can only guess what choices he will make.

Parents - mother and father - unique people in a person's destiny. He is connected with them by a wide variety of feelings and relationships, often these feelings are complex and contradictory, but they are always very important and radically influence his relationship with the world. Friendship between a child and a parent is, of course, possible, but this happens only at a certain stage in the child’s life, when he is old enough and equal to the parent in status. While the child is small, the relationship between parent and child is extremely asymmetrical. The parent is obliged to bear responsibility for him, set rules, guide the child, that is, be in charge. And the basis of friendship lies in close, almost symmetrical relationships, where everyone is free to leave this relationship if they so desire. By stooping to familiarity, you are making a serious mistake in raising a family, because friendship with a child is initially hypocritical, since the relationship is not equal and the child is not free to leave it of his own free will. In addition, he must obey his parents in matters of principle. A parent should look after, guide, love, support and teach a child, but not try to be friends with him. There can be a lot of warmth, fun and pleasure, friendliness, cooperation and mutual attention, however, this is not a relationship between two friends. You should not make such a typical mistake of parents in raising children as replacing a child with a friend - you need to teach him to look for friends, build and maintain friendly relations. Parents have a unique role; they should not pretend to be anything more.

Other common mistake raising children in a family is the fear of parents that as a result of demands they will simply lose the love and affection of the child. A child, dissatisfied with the eternal pressure and demands placed on him, will simply reject the parent and internally distance himself from him. What could be sadder than the loss of love? own child? In this case, parents make another pedagogical mistake in raising children - they do not want to enforce discipline, protecting such an important thing as the child’s affection. Such fears are more common among parents who raise a child alone. Also similar situation occurs in families where one of the parents withdraws from upbringing, leaving the other to act. It is this second parent, who is obliged to bear the entire burden of responsibility, who worries that he will become only a source of restrictions for the child, while the second parent will remain an eternal holiday for the child.

In reality, what happens in the relationship beyond the demands on the child is much more important. What else do you suggest that you give to your child? If your communication comes down to demands, criticism, and elimination of “child upbringing mistakes,” then sooner or later distance is inevitable, no matter how successful your “management” is. Yes, no one relieves parents of responsibility for the child, the need to guide him, but it is important what else you give to your child. Psychologists, reflecting on why problems arise in raising children in modern family, invite parents to analyze:

• Do they know how to truly understand a child and get in touch with his world?
• Do you often spend time together that is enjoyable for both of you?
• Can they say that their child completely trusts them, feels calm and protected next to their parents?

If you confidently answer “yes” to these questions, then you are unlikely to be afraid to make demands on your child.

In order to avoid mistakes in family upbringing, parents must establish relationships with the child, without removing demands on him, but filling communication with warmth, love and intimacy. Then based on good relations the child will accept the rules as part of life. If a child has confidence in the love of his parents, a feeling of warmth in the relationship, then he has something to smooth out the discomfort from restrictions, something to worry about.

For parents who are afraid to set rules so as not to lose the child’s affection, it is best to pay attention to what, in addition to rules, the child’s life is filled with, and direct their activity in this direction.

Parents, regardless of their attitudes, have to set rules for the child. There are no parents free from this need. In order to avoid making typical parental mistakes in raising children, try to set your own rules, without internal conflict and discord with the child.

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Discipline is the obligatory and conscious subordination of one’s behavior to established norms of public order. The presence of discipline is necessary for organizing any activity, especially in a team environment.

By showing discipline, a person thereby expresses his respect for the rules of behavior in society, for the people with whom he works, lives, and rests. Discipline plays an important role in the formation of personality, helping to cultivate such aspects as the ability to obey the general requirements of the team, follow the established rules of life in it, restrain from unreasonable desires that run counter to common interests or opportunities for their implementation, organized behavior, obedience, self-control . And therefore discipline should be considered as the result of all educational work. This position was especially emphasized by A.S. Makarenko.

Throughout preschool childhood, under properly organized educational conditions, there is a significant increase in children’s discipline. Thus, already in the younger group, under the influence of interest in a situation specially created by the teacher, they show restraint and organization (they carefully get up from their chairs and put away toys before getting ready for a walk, so as not to wake up the doll, they try to get dressed independently, without distractions, to please Petrushka, and etc.). By helping children gain experience in actions that comply with the rules of behavior, the teacher ensures that these necessary modes of behavior are consolidated, become more conscious, stable, and manifest themselves both under his supervision and voluntarily. As a result of the formation of disciplined behavior, older preschoolers are capable of choosing the desired action, of such reasoning as: “I want, but I can’t, and therefore I must give up my desire”; “I don’t want to, but I have to, and therefore I must complete the assigned task.”

Kindergarten forms in children certain norms of behavior, which reflect their attitude towards adults, peers, the public domain, their own activities, responsibilities, and a culture of behavior is manifested. Children master these norms of behavior by mastering a number of rules that govern their various relationships with people. The rules, due to their specificity, become accessible to children’s understanding, are acquired by them in the process of various activities and relationships with others, and turn into skills and habits of behavior.

It is very important to form in children a respectful attitude towards adults from early childhood. From the first years of life, a child enters into certain relationships with adults: parents, close family members, who surround him with love, affection, care, creating an atmosphere of warmth, security, and goodwill. Upon entering kindergarten, the child’s circle of relationships with adults expands. Children enter into relationships with the teacher, nanny, nurse and other employees. And therefore, from the very beginning, it is necessary to develop in them the correct ways of addressing adults, forms of showing respect for them, which would be based on affection, a sense of respect and trust, obedience (the desire to listen to elders, willingly fulfill their requests, suggestions, show courtesy, desire please an adult with your actions, etc.). In older preschool age, children strive to help adults, take care of them, try to please them, and protect their peace. Children learn the rules of behavior in public places, show attention, courtesy and politeness in communicating with people. In kindergarten, children are surrounded by peers, and therefore the teacher is faced with the task of forming norms of behavior in them that reflect their attitude towards peers, based on respect for comrades, responsiveness, compliance, goodwill, and mutual assistance.

At an early age, children develop the foundations of these norms: the ability not to interfere with a peer’s play, not to take away a toy, but to ask or choose another one for themselves, to wait until he plays, etc. The initial forms of positive relationships arise: the ability to show responsiveness (to have pity a crying peer, to please a toy), goodwill, a desire to play and study together. The teacher encourages children to engage in joint activities (sledding, playing ball, building a house from blocks, etc.).

In older preschool age, norms of behavior in relation to peers are based on children’s greater awareness and ability to engage in voluntary behavior. They develop caring towards their peers, positive relationships in joint activities, the beginnings of collectivism, the ability to show concern for a sick comrade, fairly resolve a dispute, convince a comrade that he is wrong, or agree with his opinion, admitting his mistake, be warning: step aside to allow passage, move the plate with bread so that it is more convenient for another to take bread from it, give up your chair, delicately warn about a possible mistake.

In preschool age, children learn norms of behavior that reflect a positive attitude towards work. In younger preschoolers, this should be manifested in the willing fulfillment of basic work assignments and interest in the work of others. Children early begin to imitate the skillful actions of adults and take part in their work, although their capabilities are very limited. Thus, they willingly help when setting the table, are happy to fulfill a request to bring or serve an item, hold an instrument, etc.

The teacher teaches middle-aged children to independently and willingly perform work activities available to them in accordance with the rule: “Everything I can, I will do myself.” They develop a desire to help their peers, notice their difficulties, and carry out individual tasks related to caring for the team.

In children of senior preschool age, the teacher develops an understanding of the need for work and fosters a sense of responsibility for the assigned work. This is manifested in the conscious fulfillment of instructions and duties of those on duty, independence and focus in work, the desire to mobilize one’s efforts to achieve results, and the desire for the most accurate implementation of instructions. Diligence is cultivated, the ability to get involved in work on one’s own initiative, to work in a small team, performing a common task: to agree on joint activities, to distribute work between participants, to help each other, to understand the dependence of the overall result on the active and conscientious fulfillment of each assigned task.

In kindergarten, starting from the middle group, children are taught to bear certain responsibilities. The teacher explains to them the meaning of their responsibilities, the need for their timely fulfillment, and reminds them of their responsibility to him and the group. He helps children fulfill their assigned responsibilities: he appoints people on duty in those types of work in which the children have already developed sufficient skills; comes to the rescue in case of difficulties; arouses interest in the duties performed. All this allows the child to cope with the task more easily and not be distracted. Older preschoolers should take their responsibilities with even greater responsibility, consciously perform the work of the duty officer, understand its significance, take care of the objects entrusted to them, independently engage in work, and bring the job to the end.

The teacher instills in children a caring attitude towards nature. He teaches kids to walk only on paths, without trampling the lawn or tearing off flowering plants, and to collect fallen leaves; teaches them to notice changes in the life of nature, to see its beauty, and to treat all living things with care.

In the middle group, children should not only have kind feelings towards nature, but also care for plants and animals, showing concern for them.

Older children are distinguished by an increased interest in nature; they observe, compare, note new things, collect seeds, grow plants.

In the formation of children's experience of behavior that corresponds to certain rules, the teacher's control plays an important role. This allows you to prevent a child from making a possible mistake, promptly remind him of the rule, suggest the right action, and monitor the quality of fulfillment of requirements by individual children. Control is always accompanied by evaluation. The teacher either supports and approves the children’s actions, or prevents the repetition of negative actions. By approving specific actions, he expresses his attitude towards the child. For example: “What a diligent Katyusha we have! I carefully folded all the lotto cards, closed the box and put it back!”

This assessment contains a positive assessment of the child’s actions and, at the same time, the personal qualities of the child (careful, diligent). Children realize that not only actions deserve approval, but also the child himself: the teacher sets him up as an example and praises him. All this encourages them to imitate a good example and earn the teacher’s approval. Therefore, he does not need to be stingy with praise and kind words. The teacher also uses negative assessments of children’s actions. In these cases, the assessment of the bad deed should not be transferred to the child’s personality. An effective technique can be the following contrast in the teacher’s assessment: “I don’t understand how you, such a good boy, my assistant, could offend a friend!” In such an appeal, one sounds both upset by the child’s action, and at the same time the conviction that he himself is good, that the negative action is just an accident, an oversight that cannot be repeated if the child tries to correct his behavior. Such assessments cause children not to be offended by the teacher, but to be dissatisfied with themselves, and then they strive to quickly regain his favor.

By instilling discipline and a culture of behavior, the teacher constantly complicates the requirements for children’s behavior, while he takes into account their experience, level of mastery of the rules, as well as the ability to consciously regulate their behavior.

Instilling discipline and a culture of behavior in preschoolers

DISCIPLINE - mandatory and conscious subordination of one’s behavior to established norms of public order. The presence of discipline is necessary for organizing any activity, especially in a team environment. By showing discipline, a person thereby expresses his respect for the rules of behavior in society, for the people with whom he works, lives, and rests. Discipline plays an important role in the formation of personality, helping to cultivate such aspects as the ability to obey the general requirements of the team, follow the established rules of life in it, restrain from unreasonable desires that run counter to common interests or opportunities for their implementation, organized behavior, obedience, self-control . And therefore discipline should be considered as the result of all educational work. This position was especially emphasized by A. S. Makarenko.

CULTURE OF BEHAVIOR of a preschooler is a set of stable forms of everyday behavior useful for society in everyday life, in society, in different types activities.

The culture of behavior is based on a deeply social moral feeling - respect for man, for the laws of human society.

The concept of behavioral culture is very broad. It includes external and internal culture. External (manners, external appearance) and internal culture (respect for others, sensitivity, truthfulness, etc.) must be in unity.

Cultural and hygienic skills and habits- important component culture of behavior. The need for neatness, keeping the face, hands, body, hairstyle, clothes, shoes clean is dictated not only by hygiene requirements, but also by the norms of human relations. Children must understand that following these rules shows respect for others. Adults must remember that the skills instilled in childhood, including cultural and hygienic ones, bring great benefits to a person throughout his entire life.

Culture of communication with adults and peers provides for children to comply with the norms and rules of communication based on respect and goodwill, using appropriate vocabulary and forms of address, as well as polite behavior in public places and everyday life. Communication culture refers to the ability not only to act in a certain way, but also to refrain from actions and gestures that are inappropriate in given circumstances. The child needs to be taught to notice the state of other people.

A culture of communication necessarily presupposes a culture of speech. This is the presence of a sufficient vocabulary of words in a preschooler, the ability to speak concisely, while maintaining a calm tone. It is equally important to teach the child to listen carefully to the interlocutor, stand calmly during a conversation, and look into the face of the speaker. Speech culture is formed in classes and in everyday life, in various types of independent activities.

Culture of activity manifests itself in the behavior of children in classes, in play, in work. To form a culture of activity in a child means to cultivate in him the ability to maintain in order the workplace where he works, studies, and plays; the habit of finishing what you start, taking care of toys, things, books. Important indicator culture of activity - a natural craving for interesting, meaningful activities, the ability to value time.

Conditions for instilling a culture of behavior in preschoolers:

1. The authority and culture of educators and parents . The culture of the teacher, the nature of his communication with children, the style of relationships are of great importance in the formation of a culture of behavior. The teacher’s ability to use advice and sometimes humor instead of reprimands, tactfully correct a violation, interest in children’s endeavors, the desire to support them, trust and affection. - everything makes children want to communicate with him, to readily respond to every request. Children imitate the behavior of an authoritative teacher and transfer it into relationships with peers. The child's behavior also reflects the culture of the parents.

2. Accurate implementation of the regime allows preschoolers to maintain a balanced state, switch from one activity to another in a timely manner, prevent overwork, and alternate periods of active activity and rest. The exact mode allows you to form a behavioral stereotype. Timely implementation of routine processes prevents behavioral breakdowns that usually occur during tiring waiting.

3. Proper organization of the environment , in which there are children. Selection of toys, various materials, aids and equipment that correspond to the age of children, their interests and content of knowledge, skills and abilities, convenient placement of furniture, all this creates conditions for the development of a variety of activities, captivates preschoolers, allows them to find activities of interest and thereby prevents behavioral breakdowns.

4. Positive emotional atmosphere in kindergarten and family. This is an atmosphere of goodwill, varied and active meaningful activities for children, which instills in children a desire for employment, organizes their lives and is reflected in the formation of a culture of behavior in them

Children's behavior in kindergarten governed by rules which are formed on the basis of norms:

The rules must be specific, requiring certain actions. For example: “When entering a group room, you need to say hello to everyone present in it”;

The rules must be formulated clearly, understandably for children, in the form of instructions, not prohibitions;

Each new rule requires time for children to assimilate it (explanation, training in implementation, reminders, prevention of possible violations);

The rules are being introduced gradually.

Methods of education: explanation, demonstration, exercise, reminders, control, evaluation, conversation, reading works of art, looking at illustrations, positive example, encouragement and punishment.

In younger groups, the teacher accustoms children to correct behavior, consistently and patiently achieves obedience and some independence in following basic rules of behavior. In the middle group, the teacher constantly monitors the independent implementation of the rules, and in case of violation, seeks timely correction of errors. It is important to prevent possible violations, which is facilitated by a reminder of the rules prior to the assessment. In older preschool age, sufficiently stable skills of a culture of behavior should be formed. The ability for voluntary behavior increases, which allows children to restrain themselves from unwanted actions and consciously follow established rules. Motives for behavior are formed. The teacher becomes more demanding of the children and gets them to quickly and accurately follow the rules.