Why do men cheat and why is male cheating bad? Should I cheat on my husband as revenge, cheating for cheating. Cheating from the point of view of biology - natural or not

Cheating is an ungrateful and disapproving act, but in some cases, cheating on a husband can save family relationships and well-being. So, when is it worth cheating on your husband, and when is it not recommended to do this? We recommend that you read

If we consider treason from an immoral point of view, then treason is bad and is not approved by many, so you should not change. If we consider the betrayal of her husband from the point of view of her husband, then betrayal is terrible sin, which leads to separation family happiness. If we consider cheating on the part of the wife, because she wants diversity, which will preserve family happiness, then you can change it, but remember, cheating on your husband is always fraught with the loss of your husband and the destruction of family happiness.

IS IT WORTH TO CHANGE A HUSBAND TO SAVE FAMILY HAPPINESS

IN this case the preservation of family happiness is understood as the case when, without cheating on her husband, the wife becomes unbearable and very nervous, which, of course, affects family relationships. So for some reason, a spouse who dreams of cheating on her husband, but does not want to leave and leave the family, gets what she wants, and thereby reassuring herself, saves family well-being. Naturally, in this case, there are two rules that must be observed, the first rule - do not bring the infection home and the second rule - keep the betrayal a secret. We recommend that you read

IS IT WORTH CHANGING TO HUSBAND AS REVENGE, CHEATING FOR CHEATING

No, cheating on your husband as revenge for his betrayal is not worth it. Never and under no circumstances should a woman lose her dignity, it is better to think about further life together, but, in no case, about treason. If your husband cheated, don't do the same, don't fall face down in the dirt, show that you are stronger and worthy best man, and by cheating on your husband, you will only show your weakness and, perhaps, your conscience will even torment you.

IS IT WORTH CHANGING TO HUSBAND IF YOU WANT VARIETY

Well, there are women for whom one man is not enough for bed, that's it, so that such a woman can save home comfort and hearth, she needs to have sexual relations with different men. On the part of the husband, it is not worth cheating on him under any circumstances, but on the part of the woman, if her body requires it, and nothing can be done about it, even if the man completely suits her in bed, then, of course, it is worth cheating on her husband, but think about how long you can keep your marriage with constant betrayal and think about what will happen if all your betrayals come to light. We recommend that you read

IS IT POSSIBLE TO CHEAT ON A HUSBAND IF HE IS NOT SATISFIED IN BED

Yes, if you cannot live without it and go unsatisfied, which leads to constant nervous breakdowns, scandals and swearing, then perhaps first you need to talk with your husband and be more frank in bed with him, do not hesitate to ask and say the way you I want to. If this does not help, then answering the question of whether it is worth cheating on her husband, let's say yes, it is worth it, but at the same time it is necessary to follow safety rules so as not to bring infection home. If cheating on your husband is the only way to save family relationships, then try to cheat on him, in any case, if your conscience does not torment you for cheating, you will protect yourself and keep it a secret from your husband, then nothing bad will happen.

COMMENTS BY OUR READERS

Maria: Should I cheat on my husband? If you really want to change, then it is better to get a divorce. Loyalty is a matter of conscience and respect, and excuses about the fact that “I can’t live without it”, “my body demands it” - it’s just that there is not enough conscience, that’s all the reasons. Neither women nor men are polygamous or monogamous by nature, it’s just that everyone decides for himself, so that most people don’t even have questions about whether to cheat on her husband? However, divorce statistics speak of 80% of breaking up couples - most often because of infidelity and not always on the part of the husband.

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Cheating for a person is often as traumatic as the death of a spouse. Sometimes it can be even more painful. Because after the death of a loved one or a loved one, at least memories remain, but after betrayal?

Cheating brings a lot of suffering, because it is a well-aimed shot right at the core of the personality. Cheating tells you that you are worse than another or another, that your uniqueness is worth little, you can easily be exchanged. Treason undermines the basis of our existence. Close person, whom you believed and hoped for, suddenly turns out to be not close and not reliable. A terrible thing, more terrible than any fairy tale about the Gray Wolf, because it turns out that this Gray wolf he lived with you in the same house, you fed and watered him, and all this time he looked into the forest.

To understand how to live after this or how to live so that this does not happen, we need to dive into the analysis of the event itself - adultery. And find out the reasons why husbands cheat and why wives cheat.
So, let's get to the point.

Without any statistics, we know that men cheat much more often than women. Why is that? One of the main reasons, which will seem extremely paradoxical to you, is the conservatism of men. Husbands, having a passion on the side, are not at all going to change anything in their lives. In general, a man is not going to change one woman for another. He just gets another one. If he loved his wife before, then he will love her so. But even if he fell out of love with his wife, he still got used to his house, sofa, slippers. We are all, to one degree or another, slaves of habit. I emphasize - slaves. But men are more dependent on the familiar. not without reason a real man A. S. Pushkin, precisely referring to men, said, as he printed: “The habit is given to us from above, it is a substitute for happiness.” You know this story: if a woman cannot change an apartment, then at least she will rearrange the furniture. A man needs a towel to always hang on the same hook, and slippers to be parked in the usual place.

Men, by their male nature, when starting flirting, do not look far ahead. They need sex, adventure, and everything, perhaps. Women, by their nature, consider any relationship as long-term. And, fearing to destroy what already exists, they are in no hurry to plunge headlong into new ones. And this is what sharply distinguishes us from each other: a man can experience sexual attraction without love, and I have not met women who, at least for an hour, did not want to become the only and beloved.

Another one good reason the greater propensity of men to cheat - this is the specificity of the choice. If a woman chooses, she chooses an interesting, attractive, sexy, but still a person. You won’t believe it, but men, when choosing, are guided by parts of the body! Clear business, on convex. Even in the American Millionaires Club, millionaires turn to the matchmaker with an “elegant” request: to have a butt and breasts. Moreover, they emotionally show the matchmaker what the butt and chest should be.

And this is the reason for the failure of many men in family life and love relationships. After all, a woman with her own character is attached to any priest, and, perhaps, very bad. We have to look for another ... Readers will rejoice: another woman, worthy woman! But you have to upset - another ass.

Why not?

You probably know that not everyone can meet true love. And it would be nice if this was an exception! (“It’s just that I was unlucky, my soul mate got lost somewhere.”) But here my profession does not allow me to remain silent.

The science of psychology proves that not all people know how to love. Why? There are several reasons. Someone did not have experience in childhood mutual love with mom or dad. On the contrary, there was an experience of betrayal. One of the parents, who himself does not know how to love, did not respond to the love of the child. The child learned this bitter experience, suffered and, as we understand it, does not want to suffer anymore. And will run away from love. I have already written about these frightened. These are Don Juan and Casanova of both sexes. They do not run after love, but from love!

Can not experience love and the unfortunate, who are depressed. Depressive hormones suppress the production of the hormone oxytocin, which, in fact, keeps our love.

You should not hope for the constancy of young Romeo. Feelings that flare up too quickly and too strongly indicate a powerful release of amphetamine by the body. It is a hormone that acts in the same way as the drug of the same name. Intoxicating! Super! Once you try it, you will want more. Some are addicted to falling in love. This is especially necessary for people of creative professions: actors, singers, poets. To fly, amphetamine gives them wings.

So you have to admit what you don't want to admit. Some of us to true love in this life are not ready. True love will not allow cheating, because your partner is unique for you and no one can replace him.

can not. There are many people around, and you are alone without him.

As you can imagine, I wrote about this for a reason. If your partner is completely replaceable for you, then why not?

I said that men are programmed by nature to change partners. But if the soul can overcome natural instincts, to rise above them to the level of true love, such a person, of course, will not change.
And yet we have to admit that the love of men and women is very different, since it is based on different instincts. In females (in women), love is based on maternal instinct. And not only to children. But also to all living things - to dogs, cats, for example. Well, for men, of course.

But there are women (about 5 percent of them) who do not have this very maternal instinct. They have no desire to take care of a man, protect him from troubles and problems, and most importantly, protect him from himself. Why should a woman do this? But because not every man manages to cope with his instinct, with the task that nature has set for him - so that the area of ​​​​scattering of the seed is as large as possible. Further, I will write for women for whom not all men are enemies of the human race.

We are with you dear ladies, fortunately or unfortunately, not to know and not to experience sexual attraction experienced by men. One American woman, a doctor, applied to herself as an experiment a small amount of the male sex hormone - testosterone on the mammary glands. Well, in general, I am ashamed to write about what she experienced.

The “call of nature” is heard especially loudly for men in youth, so for a young man there is real danger to get in sexual slavery. The second "call" will sound during the period of hormonal adjustment, in the mid-life crisis, when gray hair is in the beard, and the demon is in the rib. During this period, it is especially important for a woman to be close to her beloved in order to protect him from stupid things. If you and I, dear ladies, could experience the same attraction, we would understand, and not condemn men. Not everyone can resist the Pied Piper's pipe.

Dear ladies, in order to live happily, you need to understand the essential difference between male and female love. You can be angry with me as much as you like, but the laws of nature cannot be changed. And the prescriptions of nature are as follows: a woman loves a man. Does this need to be explained? In my opinion, everything is clear here. Therefore, she is looking for a prince, a real man, a protector and so on. A woman loves a man who in her eyes is a hero!

Now concentrate and try to understand: a man loves a woman in whose eyes he is a hero. Feel the difference? Sechenov proposed the following formula: a man loves not a woman, but his love for her. I repeat once again: a man needs the eyes of a woman in which he is a hero, a genius ... Therefore, dear young ladies, we will have to admit that a man does not need a princess, he needs Cinderella. He, the bastard, needs a background to spread his peacock tail against this background. And when in Marriage Agency a beauty comes and declares from the doorway: “You won’t have any problems with me, I have two higher educations, high post, own car”, the agency employees, sighing heavily, attach her photographs and prestigious data to the high hill of folders, where an exquisite society of highly educated and highly paid brides has gathered. Which are not taken. But manicurists, hairdressers and nurses disperse like hot cakes.

Alexander Vasiliev remarkably said: in order to become a stylist, a man needs to be a little bit of a woman, and a woman - a little bit of a man. However, in order to become a psychologist, a man needs to be a lot of a woman, and a woman - a lot of a man. To understand not only representatives of one's own sex, but also the other, and in no case, even in a feverish delirium, not to call him the opposite.

In the end, you may not be a stylist, but you simply have to be a psychologist. Then you can understand what your partner or partner needs. Until then, I'll help you.

You and I seem to have agreed that a woman cheats when something in the relationship does not suit her much. The woman is looking for the best. They say the best is the enemy of the good. Therefore, let's be more precise: a woman must be extremely dissatisfied with life in order to decide on treason. A woman leaves something and someone. But a man indulges in all serious things for something or for someone.

We are different and in a situation of treason we behave differently. For example, women have such a bad habit - to repent of their sins. You ask, what's so stupid? After all, without repentance for mistakes, your further path is impossible. You need to repent. But only our highly educated ladies confuse the Lord God with their husband.

You need to repent before God. And the person who, as you think, has been harmed, this damage simply needs to be compensated. Well, why do you scold yourself and sprinkle ashes on your head for stepping on someone's foot? Don't cry on his shoulder, just get off his leg! Agree, dear ladies, that the announcement of your sins to your husband is a purely selfish act. You want to relieve your soul by hurting his soul. Therefore, if this happened to you, then it is better to repent to God, and become more attentive to your husband.

Men are much smarter than women in this regard. They have a rule that they pass from mouth to mouth, from generation to generation: even if your wife found you with another in bed, then swear that nothing happened. What about women? Remember that joke? Four women in a train compartment are returning from a resort. One of them says: last year I was at the resort and when I arrived home, I told my husband about all my betrayals. What courage, one admired. What nonsense, grimaced another. What a memory, the third sighed. Therefore, if it so happened, madam, that another man appeared in your life, then you should not notify your husband about this. Even if you and your husband are going to leave, spare his pride, say that you just want to live alone, without him. What the eyes do not see, the heart does not grieve.

But you can't live your whole life blindfolded. No matter how much the rope twists, but the tip is. You can, of course, be consoled by the fact that husbands and wives are the last to know about the betrayal, but is that really comforting? Therefore, it is better to keep your eyes open and that our ears are on top. Then you can intercept the romance that is nascent on the side in time and thereby (now you will be surprised at what I will say) take your beloved or beloved away from sin.

Let's first note what changes signal us that "something is wrong in the Danish kingdom."
The behavior of men and women is different. If a husband begins to get involved with someone on the side, then he, as a rule, changes into better side. I say as a rule. Not everyone does this, but most do. The husband begins to give gifts to his wife, and even, as the affected women told me, he is more active in sex. The women, who got into the romance on the side, immediately fence themselves off from the husband, withdraw into themselves.

Intercepting a romance is easy at first, because your relationship so far has more significance for your spouse than what is still in its infancy.

How to behave? Naturally, taking into account the peculiarities of the psychology of men and women. A man is a hunter, this time. And the owner is two. Therefore, dear ladies, if you notice any changes in your husband's behavior, in no case try to get the truth out of him. Don't even pretend that something is bothering you! Do not follow him, do not blame him, in general, do not run after him, but run away from him. What psychologists advise in unison: pretend that someone has appeared on your side. Well, for example, tell your husband that you are going to the pool, and “forget” your swimsuit and cap at home. Talk to one of your friends in a whisper, bursting into bashful laughter. And so on. As soon as the husband realizes that he can lose you, he will no longer be up to his pleasures. The instinct of the hunter and the nature of the owner will make him think more about how not to become a deceived husband than about how to be someone's lover.

Dear Sirs! If you notice that your wife has become extremely thoughtful, irritable, fenced off from you by a barrier, worry. At least once in your life, analyze in your head, which is given to you not only for baseball caps, what exactly in your behavior makes your wife unhappy. Why does she feel bad for you? How does she want you to be? Well, at least put in some effort! After all, for her own sake, otherwise she will leave.

Take a look around and you will see that many men are happily married, moreover, it has long been established that married men live longer. Unlike women. At unmarried women life expectancy is just higher than that of those burdened by a husband.

A woman expects from you, ladies and gentlemen, a certain behavior. And I want to warn you right away: a lady can forgive a gentleman everything except weakness. In addition to contempt, your complaints and tears will cause nothing in any woman. Be a man, which means be courageous.

I already wrote that there are people who are not prone to treason. To repeat - to take a place in a newspaper sheet. So do right choice. As, for example, Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy did it, who, offering Sofya Andreevna his hand and heart, at the same time asked her to accept the proposal only if her love was real. Sigmund Freud demanded from his bride that he be the most important thing in her life. So, gentlemen, if you decide to marry, then only the woman for whom you will be the most important person in the world for the rest of your life. So that your beloved believes in you the way you are afraid to believe in yourself.

Dear ladies! If you are going to marry, then only for a person who has firm intentions to make you happy. And who understands that before marriage, and after, and at twenty, and at sixty, a woman wants to feel loved. And then we will be happy!

I belong to a small kind of "mommy-don't care". The child is learning, and okay. There is already a gold medal in the house, hanging and gathering dust in a conspicuous place. You still can’t put your brain into the heads of your daughters, so you have to make do with factory equipment. I come to every meeting with an open mind of a newborn child: the legitimate questions of other, responsible mothers, such as "how did you decide No. 768 from page 878787 according to the textbook of the Zaslanets-Martian" lead me into a stupor. However, I was not bypassed by the conflict with the teacher. But I was able to solve it with the least loss. How? I will talk about this in my post.

Throughout my pregnancy, I was tormented by the thought: how will Ksyushka perceive the appearance of her brother? How to neutralize her jealousy, which is sure to be? How can I distribute my attention free time, love between two children and a husband? I read all sorts of articles, took note of the experience of mothers with two or more children. I'll tell you what came out of all this.

With such a device, you can bring perfect order in a wardrobe. I already use it more than a year. I call this device - "ironing" board. With its help it is very easy to fold (as packed in a store): shirts, T-shirts, T-shirts, nightgowns. This board is very easy to make.

In the life of each of us one day there are those events that greatly change our lives. And I am no exception. This is what I want to tell others. It was 2006 at the time. I was 27 years old. I have been married for 3 years, but we have not had children yet. I worked in one big company accountant. I calculated the salary for the entire company. And the moment came when I was charged with a very large amount of work.

“Any betrayal, whether it becomes known or not, is bad. Because in the word "treason" there is a part of "change" - I change one person for another and do not talk about it, I behave as if everything is in order. At 99%, such betrayals are revealed and become a mental, heartache. And they affect physiological health: against this background, everything falls out of hand for a person, depression, resentment, hysteria, psychosis occur ... Everyone is different. Therefore, we immediately agree that treason is bad.

Well, what if never, never, and no one, no one will ever find out? But you know it! You remember and you will never forget. Treason non-healing wound stay for a very long time for a long time. Therefore, there is only one advice: after all, do not change.

But there is various betrayals and should be treated differently. It happens that two people have merged in ecstasy, received a physiological discharge: she has an orgasm, he has an orgasm ... But in fact, he loves another - the one with whom he lived for more than one year, and maybe more than a dozen years. The one who bore him children, the one with whom he is always together. Then it is difficult to call it a betrayal, it is a physiological discharge. By drunkenness, by chance, the devil beguiled, damn it! Such things should not be considered treason, they need to be learned not to notice, to forgive. And never acknowledge them. It's just an accident."

Artem Kostyuzhev, psychotherapist

“A person has the right to absolutely any behavior. Some actions are condemned by society, can be fined or imprisoned. Sphere personal relationships is gradually coming out from under the moralizing dictatorship. Not so long ago there was a possibility of divorce ...

Cheating is a betrayal only from the position of the one from whom the partner left (started an affair on the side). From the point of view of the "fugitive-traitor" it can be anything. From the search for new sensations and experiences to new relationships. And the "third" in this relationship probably gets a chance at happiness.

By the way, the idea that a person has no right to cheat can lead to problems and violence. Abandoned by cheaters willingly form avoidance behavior and seek cynicism and gender hatred or isolation and self-isolation. In society, we see a conservative attitude and an almost unequivocal ban on adultery. A person who asks such a question seems to want public confirmation of his point of view. Due to the emotional saturation, the wording of the question pushes for a certain answer.

Regina Gotova, journalist

“When we talk about law, we are referring to some set of rules. There is the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, the Labor Code of the Russian Federation, the Constitution and other regulatory documents, there are rules for the behavior of a passenger, there is public morality (unwritten, contradictory and often doubtful), and there is an ethics of relationships in a couple. As far as I remember, the Civil Code does not provide for any punishment for treason, the right to treason is from the field of public morality and ethics of relationships.

In the context of public morality, I will not consider the issue: firstly, this is a very slippery plane, and secondly, I am deeply convinced that what concerns two does not concern anyone else.

Interaction in a pair is based on agreements, ideas, expectations, and so on. As a rule, each of the partners counts on love and fidelity, otherwise, most often, the relationship is unacceptable. Does a crime cease to be a crime if law enforcement agencies do not know about it? I'm not projecting CC on relationships, just illustrating the principle.

If I know about the incident, I have a choice: accept this reality and move on or run away.

Is it possible to say that there was no betrayal if the other side does not know about it? If a person cheats, then he obviously pretends not to be who he is in the eyes of a partner, he acts treacherously. The mechanism of deception is such that a person, forced to constantly lie, gradually turns away from himself, from that part that lives that little secret life of his, a splitting of the personality occurs, this creates tension, the partner becomes an irritant, he receives not only life together based on lies, but also undeserved hassle.

There are people who would rather live in happy ignorance and not know about the betrayal. Others cannot forgive the deception itself. Since I belong to the second category, I can explain what's the matter. If a partner deceives me, he replaces an important part of our and my life with an illusion, steals my life. If I know about the incident, then I have a choice: accept this reality and live on or run away. In case of concealment, I am deprived of a choice. In my axiomatics, this is not a secret affair, this is the meanest betrayal.

WHAT IS CHANGE BAD?

You know, in all the years of my work, I have not been able to get a clear and convincing answer to this question from a single client. Usually everyone is terribly indignant - they say, is it really incomprehensible ?! And I don't understand, and that's it.

I don’t understand when a woman offended by betrayal says: “Imagine, everything was just wonderful with us, and suddenly ...”. Here, after all, one of two things: either everything was really wonderful, or it was somehow different, only the woman tried her best not to notice it.

Imagine: a waiter in a restaurant serves you excellently. He appears exactly at the moment when the need arises, accurately guesses your tastes, amiable, charming ... Can the fact that he serves someone else so wonderfully be able to become a great stress for you?
Do you think the comparison is too cynical? Replace the word "serves" with "gives you everything you need" - and the difference between the two situations becomes almost imperceptible.

You can look at all this from one more side: do you really think that if a woman has, say, three children, then she loves each of them three times less than she would love one?! Love is not a loaf of bread. With bread, everything is simpler: if one gets a larger piece, then the other will be infringed. Love for one child is one thing, for another - another ... No matter how much love you give to one child, this love can be intended only for him, and no one else. For another child, a completely different love is in store.

Of course, all of the above makes sense only if, before the betrayal, the woman was really satisfied with EVERYTHING: the man spent exactly as much time with her as she wanted, understood her, said compliments, gave gifts, satisfied in bed, in the end ... What what should he do if he has the desire—and ability—to love more than a single woman needs?

What, you don't like it at all? Are you sure I'm wrong? And try to clearly and clearly articulate what exactly? Purely emotional arguments like “he betrayed me” cannot be considered serious objections. Well, in fact, what is betrayal - outside the criminal code, of course? After all, most often this word is understood by people as a synonym for the word "deception." Just "betrayal" sounds worse. "I was deceived" - everyone is being deceived, what's wrong with that? Be careful and don't be deceived. But “I was betrayed” is a completely different thing. In this case, I am an innocent victim, and he is an unscrupulous monster. There is, however, another option: "betrayed" often means "behaved not as I expected." Everything is clear here, isn't it?

Oh, you call something completely different a betrayal? Ready to get it right? No? That's it.

To be honest, the option when before the betrayal in a relationship everything was REALLY fine is much less common than the situation when everything just seemed fine. Just betrayal played the role of a thermometer, indicating the presence of a certain disease. You can, of course, be offended by a thermometer, you can even break it in your hearts - but the disease will not go anywhere. Now, if she had been noticed earlier - maybe it's up to elevated temperature and it wouldn't come. But for some reason it seemed to people easier, calmer and more profitable not to notice minor ailments. And when serious inflammation had already begun, the thermometer turned out to be extreme.

In fairness, it is worth noting that everything that has been said so far has only concerned situations of “long-term betrayal”, when for some time a person has, as it were, two families - or just two loved ones. But there are other situations - when treason turned out to be one-time and, as it were, random. And here, too, one of two things: either it really was random, or still only "as if."

In the second case, everything related to resentment against a thermometer is quite applicable to such a betrayal: it just made it impossible to ignore the existing family (or non-family) trouble. But in the first ... Here, I'm afraid, the reason for the suffering of the wounded side is somewhat different.

Have you ever wondered why the words "love" and "sex" are often considered synonymous? Sometimes a completely explosive situation arises when one more synonym is added to these two - “family”. No, of course not, when all three of these are completely different things by great chance or as a result of generous gift fates are in one bottle - this is a great human happiness. But love without a family - and even, oddly enough, without sex - is also no less happiness. Everything else, as you understand, is also quite capable of existing - and exists, by the way - separately.

The first painful - and dangerous, by the way - consequence of such confusion occurs in the "premarital" period. For example, a woman is desperate to get married. Not the most difficult task, Truth? But only not if the dream of a family is tightly merged with the dream of love. You can love a married man, an alcoholic, a low-earner, an unreliable person, and generally anyone who is not at all suitable for family life. So it turns out that in this case, a woman either first falls in love, and then tries with all her might to harness a wild mustang to a cart with domestic belongings, or first evaluates a man from the point of view of “marries or not marries”, and then painfully forces herself to fall in love with that that I found.

The second consequence of verbal confusion just leads to all sorts of suffering during the period of discovery of an accidental male infidelity: "He changed - that means he fell out of love (or began to love less - although who measured love?)" ...

And why suffer so much? Everything is, as always, very simple. Sex is satisfaction physiological need. If sex becomes just one way to get close to your loved one, it's not sex anymore, it's love. And love, as we remember, is not shared and is not taken away. Love is a relationship in which you always receive from a loved one, even when he does not give you anything. The family is Team work for survival in our complex world.

Only and everything. Flies, as they say, separately, and cutlets - separately. No, unless, of course, someone loves together - to health ...

From the magazine "Home"

First, a few words about why cheating is bad. Because some people are trying to propagate the theory that male betrayal- this is even normal, because. man is polygamous by nature. I must say that polygamy itself is not bad in any way from a moral point of view. Neither in the variant when these acts complement each other, i.e. today Kolya sleeps with Masha, tomorrow he sleeps with Lena, the day after tomorrow - again with Masha. Neither in the variant when they coincide in time, i.e. Kolya sleeps simultaneously with Masha and Lena. She might even be good. For its moral assessment, what is important is the fact of polygamy itself, but the conditions under which it occurs between the participants. If both Masha and Lena have a normal and even positive attitude towards polygamous relationships, no moral problems arise. They can live beautiful Swedish family, be happy and it's all good. You ask - where to get such women? They are. I personally know several women who believe that a man is by nature a polygamous male (in good sense this word) and in this, including, an indicator of his strength. Force, pleasant and desirable for these women. It even turns them on. The problem and the negative moral assessment generated by it arises when Masha or Lena, or both at once, are supporters of strictly monogamous relationships. Kolya swears allegiance to each of them, after which he practices polygamous relationship. Those. polygamous sex is not bad in itself - deceit, duplicity and betrayal are bad. I think that deceit, duplicity and betrayal are bad - no one will argue? It is in this and only in this case that the concept of "treason" is applicable to polygamous relations. Therefore, treason is definitely and without a doubt bad.

Why do men cheat? Let me emphasize once again that we are not talking about polygamous relations that are obvious to all parties involved. mutual pleasure all participants. We are talking about a situation where a man first swears allegiance to a woman who is a supporter of monogamous marriage, and then secretly from her and, while maintaining a relationship with her, begins to build polygamous relationships with other women. I see 3 reasons for this: cowardice, laziness, weak will. All of them always unite in any betrayal. Let me explain on the basis of several typical scenarios of treason:
1. A man is not satisfied with his wife. He fell out of love, does not give, lies like a log, does not want to practice AS and / or OS. The reasons can be very different, but these are the most common. She can also tyrannize him, but this is rarely self cause, because the husbands of such women are usually masochists (otherwise they would not have chosen this). In this situation, everything usually comes down to "does not give", because. women usually despise weaklings who allow themselves to be tyrannized and they don’t have such “worthless”, therefore, problems begin with sex in the family. What is he doing normal man in such situation? The first option is to get divorced. If, for example, fell out of love. Because he is not afraid to lose a free provider of cleaning, grub and sex. And he considers it unacceptable to torture both his wife and himself. He has the determination to understand that a terrible end is better than a horror without end. The second option - he will build a wife. The methods may be different, but, as a rule, in a normal man, i.e. a man who is decisive, responsible, active and striving to change the world for the better, there are no problems with doing this within mutual respect and socially acceptable ways. Even women usually don’t need to be built, because. they are by nature led beings and willingly follow a man they consider strong. Option three - he will restrain his desires. Because not all our desires deserve realization. Some, in view of their destructiveness, deserve not realization, but introspection in order to identify the problems that give rise to the emergence of such destructive desires, with their subsequent elimination. But not everyone does this. Some take a mistress instead. For what? First of all, because it gives you the opportunity to feel like a kind of macho. With what adherents of "hidden" polygamy usually have a problem. Because would they have enough objective male traits- they had no need for "hidden" polygamy. Secondly, a mistress can make it possible for some destructive desires to be realized. At the same time, they demonstrate cowardice and laziness, tk. instead of taking radical steps aimed at solving the problem, but with the risk of losing free cleaning, cooking, sex and the usual, albeit unsatisfactory life in general, they go to deceit and meanness. And weakness is also demonstrated, but in most it is demonstrated by the main characters of the following scenario.
2. A man is satisfied with his wife, but he is a supporter of the theory of irresistible polygamy of men. Here we mostly see weakness. Although cowardice and laziness are also present to a fair extent. What does a normal man do, who is the bearer of the theory of an irresistible male polygamous nature and / or simply loves novelty? He does not marry anyone, but practices sex without obligation. Openly declaring it at the entrance to the process. Or sex with obligations, but without specifically monogamous obligations. And if a normal man marries a monogamous woman, he fulfills his obligations by an effort of will. Because he is the master of his word. Yes, and it will simply be unpleasant for him to offend his beloved women, whom he wishes only happiness. Yes, we all want novelty, but this is by no means an irresistible desire. And what does a weak-willed, cowardly and lazy type do? At first, he frivolously or as a result of fear of losing / not getting a free provider of cleaning, cooking and sex takes on obligations, and then vilely and duplicitously violates them under arguments about irresistible male polygamy. So why the hell did you get married then if you're irresistibly polygamous? Was he afraid that a liquid woman like you would not give without obligations? Naturally, women do not like panties. Women who are normal about polygamy love only strong men. For whom polygamy is one of the indicators of strength. So you are a coward. He was afraid and did not want to become strong (decisive, active, striving to fight for better life? So you are lazy.

PS One situation was not considered - a woman who shares the ideas of monogamy loses her head and "you will fall in love with a goat" - actively hangs herself around the neck of a man who is openly polygamous in her convictions. What to do in such a situation and will a man deserve a negative moral assessment by starting such a relationship? If a woman openly declares her tendency to monogamy and a man starts a relationship with her, in which he, by definition, will torment her with his polygamy, he will certainly deserve it. He should just refuse her. Because, as I said, a terrible end is better than a horror without end. And he will have the determination to get around another skirt so as not to enter into a relationship where he will constantly have to either step over himself or over her. If at first she hides her views, and then makes monogamous claims, then she is a fool to herself and no one is her doctor. man in similar situation he is not to blame for anything - moreover, he himself became a victim of deception.