Advice for a future father or what to do during childbirth. What to do if your wife gives birth

Have you become a dad and are looking forward to your wife and baby returning from the hospital? Don’t forget to carefully prepare for their arrival: tidy up the children’s room, prepare kids clothes and take care of proper nutrition young mother.

So, the wife gave birth safely and is in the maternity hospital with the baby. You only have 3-4 days left to prepare for their arrival. Of course, you really want to indulge in the temptation to celebrate the birth of your baby with all your friends and colleagues. But – time does not wait! You still have a lot of urgent matters.

What to do at home

Clean the room where the baby will be:
wash windows and curtains;
wipe cabinets and shelves;
wash the floors and vacuum the carpets (it’s better to take the carpets out altogether - these are dust accumulators);
put things that collect dust in another room - old ones Stuffed Toys, old books, etc.

There shouldn't be too much in the nursery upholstered furniture and carpets (it is better if there is no carpet at all), TV, computer, as they create around them an increased concentration of dust, harmful to the child.

Assemble the crib (and if it doesn’t exist yet, then buy it first), hang bumpers on the sides, equip the crib with a canopy (if there is one).
Bed linen for a baby should be washed with a special baby powder in washing machine and iron it with an iron.
Hang a night light in the children's room so that it is convenient for the mother to get up at night to see the baby.
Wash the bathtub with a special baby-safe cleaner or baking soda (if you don't have a baby bathtub and plan to use a larger bathtub for bathing your baby).

On those days when you are left without a wife, do not be afraid to turn to family and friends for help. Your mother or mother-in-law will be happy to help you tidy up the apartment for the baby’s arrival, and choose and buy the things your child needs in the store.
If grandmothers are absent for some reason, ask one of your wife’s friends to help you (preferably those who already have children). IN as a last resort, contact a company that provides apartment cleaning services, and order a crib online.

Visiting my wife

Don't get too carried away with household chores. Your other half craves attention, even if communication is limited to contemplating each other through the maternity hospital window and blowing kisses. Therefore, visit your wife at least several times, and at the same time pamper her with all sorts of goodies. True, the list of what can be brought to women who have given birth is quite meager. You won't run away here! But the baby will not be allergic to what the mother, who is now feeding him, ate.

What can you bring to your wife after giving birth?
Apples and pears.
Kefir, curdled milk, yogurt, cottage cheese without fruit fillings.
Boiled beef or chicken.
Dry cookies, biscuits.

What is not recommended for your wife to bring to the maternity hospital?
Sausage, smoked products.
Salted and pickled foods.
Mushrooms, seafood, caviar.
Cakes, pastries, chocolate.
Carbonated drinks.
Citrus fruits (they can cause allergies in the baby).

Grapes, melons, watermelons, cucumbers - consumption of these products by a nursing mother can lead to increased gas formation The child has.

Filling the refrigerator

If you think that your wife will leave the maternity hospital and immediately run for groceries to feed you, your beloved, then you are deeply mistaken. Of course, she can do this, but then who will the newborn be left with? Therefore, it is better to take care of filling the refrigerator yourself in the first days. You can buy yourself anything you want, but your wife (if she is breastfeeding) will have to limit herself in some way.
Therefore, it is advisable to wait for your wife at home:
fresh or frozen beef or turkey;
dairy products(kefir, fermented baked milk, yogurt) - better without fruit fillers;
creamy and vegetable oil;
apples and pears;
potatoes, zucchini, zucchini, cauliflower;
greens (parsley, dill);
cereals (rice, buckwheat, oatmeal);
baby juices or juices recommended for pregnant and lactating women;
bread, dry biscuits.

And if you can also prepare turkey broth or vegetable soup and buckwheat with meat for the main course before your wife arrives, then the other half will be simply happy! (If you don’t know how to cook, ask your mother, mother-in-law or your wife’s friend for help.) You shouldn’t order sushi or other delicacies from a restaurant for your wife - she now needs to be careful about her health and home cooking will be preferable.

Necessary purchases

Some women prefer to buy everything they need for the baby in advance in order to be fully prepared for the birth of the baby. This is the most the best option for dad - all he can do is clean the apartment and wait for his wife to arrive with a new household member. But there are women who are afraid to buy things for a child before his birth out of superstition. It also happens that labor begins several weeks ahead of schedule. Here, dad has to make many purchases alone or in company with his mother-in-law, mother or wife’s friend.
If your wife is superstitious and doesn’t want to buy anything before giving birth, you can go to the store with her even before she gets to the maternity hospital, see what exactly you need, choose suitable models cribs, strollers, etc., but do not buy them, but purchase them after childbirth. Another option is to look at available models in product catalogs or on the Internet. The main thing is that you have an idea of ​​what exactly you need to buy.

List of things necessary for a newborn (minimum required)
Cot.
Orthopedic mattress.
Children's bed sheets; flannelette and wool blanket(baby does not need a pillow).
Two waterproof oilcloths or a set of disposable absorbent diapers measuring 60x60 or 60x90 (placed under the sheet in the bed).
Baby bath (if you do not plan to bathe your baby in large bath– it’s better to consult your wife about this).
Water thermometer.
Bathing foam and shampoo intended for children from birth.
Disposable diapers (at least 30 pieces - for the first 3-4 days).
A bath towel.
Baby milk(cream).
Diaper cream.
Children's drinking water.
Two bottles with a nipple.
Cotton buds with limiters.
Sterile cotton wool.
Hydrogen peroxide, potassium permanganate, brilliant green.
Scissors with rounded ends.
Children's powder for washing clothes from birth.
Wet wipes.
Knitted bodysuit with and without sleeves or regular vests - 3-4 pieces.
Cotton rompers - 3-4 pieces.
Anti-scratch mittens (so that the child does not scratch his face with his hands in the first days) – 2 pairs.
The blouse and rompers are warm.
Socks – 2 pairs.
The hats are light and warm.
Flannelette and cotton diapers - 3-4 pieces each.
Two pacifiers.

Rest necessary items(for example, a stroller, scales, mobile) you can buy a few days after the child arrives home, if you don’t have time for this now.

Getting ready for the meeting

The big day is getting closer, you are already feeling impatient... In this state, try not to forget something important, otherwise you will then reproach yourself that the day of welcoming your newborn from the maternity hospital was not a success.

Car Naturally, the trip home with the baby is public transport is completely excluded. This means you need a car, and a serviceable one. If you don't have your own car, ask your friends for help or call a taxi.
Car seat Where should I put the child in the car (namely, put it down, not sit it down, because the child doesn’t know how to sit yet)? When transporting a baby in a car, you need to wear a special child car seat(there are models designed for transporting babies from birth). If you have your own car, then you can buy a car seat in advance - for your car model. If you are “horseless” and use taxi services, then you can buy a universal car seat suitable for different models cars. As a last resort, use a special carrycot, securing it with seat belts on the back seat(you can buy a carrycot at a baby store or use the top removable part of the stroller as a carrycot).

Things for the baby When being discharged, the baby needs clothes that have festive look, because the baby will have to appear in front of the lenses of photo and video cameras for the first time.
The baby will need:
knitted bodysuit;
sliders;
suit for discharge;
cap, socks;
disposable diaper(bring 2-3 pieces just in case);
discharge envelope or warm overalls and warm cap(if the weather is cold outside).

Things for mom Don't forget that your wife walks around the maternity hospital in a robe and slippers and cannot go home like that. For her you need to bring a beautiful and comfortable clothes(it’s better to discuss which one with your wife in advance over the phone).
Camera and video camera Can't capture this an important event, like being discharged from the maternity hospital, is simply impossible! Therefore, be sure to take a camera and video camera with you and do not forget that you need to charge them in advance or take extra batteries with you.
Bouquet Your wife gave you a gift - an heir or heiress. Don’t forget to thank her for this - give her a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and if it’s customary in your family to give any gifts, then think about this in advance.
Champagne, sweets, money When you receive from the hands of the nurses a beautifully tied envelope from which your baby’s face sticks out, thank them for such a priceless package with a box of chocolates, champagne or an envelope with a small amount of money.
Relatives and friends Of course, family and friends would be happy to come to the discharge and celebrate happy event together with you. It’s better if everyone comes to the maternity hospital, and only then no more than five of your closest ones go to your home. At the same time, among the invitees there should be those who will set the table, and then clear and wash the dishes, as well as those who will help care for the baby. Try so that after the feast your wife does not have to clean everything herself - she is already tired after giving birth. And remember: drinking for a newborn is very good, but not to such an extent that you lose your sober mind - you really need it now!

Most men do not like hospitals and cannot stand the sight of blood, so their participation in childbirth is considered almost a feat by women. But it is not enough for the spouse to simply be present in the same room with his wife giving birth; he must provide her with all possible assistance. We will talk about what husbands need to do during different stages childbirth

Long before you decided to have a child, you probably encountered episodes difficult birth on the TV screen, when a woman screams in pain and a man rushes around, unable to find a place, outside the ward. Perhaps after your wife told you “it has begun”, these pictures appeared before your eyes. And no childbirth preparation courses can rid you of subconscious fear. Suddenly, even to yourself, you begin to worry that your lovemaking nine months ago could have harmed the woman you love. You may feel guilty for your wife's current suffering and inability to help her now.

At this stage, self-flagellation can perhaps be ended and we can move on to more effective methods, because you can still alleviate the suffering of a woman in labor. Of course, the next 48 hours are unlikely to be the most pleasant of your life, but after the birth is over, you will be able to get to know the creature closest to you - your child.

So what exactly can you do to help your wife during childbirth?

The answer to this question will be different at different stages of the birth process. Yes, during early phase of the first stage of labor your wife will most likely be in a state of mild euphoria, full of strength and energy. Now it won’t hurt you to be an “errand boy”: make your wife rest, prepare food or drinks, offer her your services as a massage therapist and just be nearby. Enjoy communicating with each other: in a few hours your beloved wife will not have the strength to do this, and after some time your life will change forever, and you will not soon be alone.

Start active phase of the first stage of labor will be marked by the woman in labor’s desire for peace and solitude. Contractions become painful, so you need to conserve your strength. Ask staff not to make unnecessary noise and stop unnecessary conversations. At the same time, keep an eye on yourself psychological state his wife - there comes a critical moment when she can become locked in a circle own fear and pain. Speak confidently and calmly, without giving away your excitement. Compliment your wife by saying she is doing a good job.

In addition, this is the time to put into practice the knowledge acquired during childbirth preparation courses - methods of pain relief and relaxation, which the spouse may simply forget about.

Transitional phase of the first stage of labor will most likely be the most difficult for you and your wife. Remember, the transition phase is not a romantic period at all. Until then, tender and loving wife may well yell at you. Most likely, she won’t even be able to really explain how you can help her: she’s too tired to think about your possible actions and explain them to you. Do not be offended if during your stroking she shouts: “Leave me alone!”, certain touches may become unpleasant for her. Stop what you're doing, but stay close. You don't need to do anything - your very presence now speaks of your love, which your spouse appreciates more than you think. Just don't expect her to immediately express gratitude.

In pushing time Remind your wife to relax and not resist. Wipe her forehead, offer her a massage, keep the room quiet, and don't forget to reassure her. When the baby is born, thank your spouse and kiss her.

Dear daddies, yours active work should not end immediately after the birth of the child. Be sure to take the baby in your arms, you can even take off your shirt to feel the touch of his tiny body on yours. If the baby needs to be taken to the neonatal ward, offer to help.

A separate conversation with fathers whose wives underwent surgery C-section. Of course, there is no need for your presence during the operation itself. But after it’s over, you simply have to replace the baby’s mother for a while, lying on your chest with him for a while. Many men, for reasons unknown to me, refuse this. To be honest, it's not entirely clear to me why. My husband lay in the next room with our newborn daughter on his chest with the umbilical cord not yet tied and remained alive and healthy. On the other hand, the husband of my roommate flatly refused such an honor to be the first to communicate with the baby while the mother was under anesthesia. Dear daddies, your child has just suffered a lot of stress, because during natural birth his birth is delayed for a much longer period of time. So don’t deprive him of the joy of communicating with his loved one if his mother is temporarily unavailable.

Of course, childbirth is a difficult time for everyone involved. But, holding your newborn son or daughter in your arms, you will feel such joyful excitement that you will instantly forget about all your fears and worries. This little man and his mother will depend heavily on your calm, self-confidence and support over the next few months. And your life will become much richer thanks to the most valuable gift that can be given. loving woman, - to your child.

During labor, many men feel helpless when it comes to comforting a laboring woman. Knowing how to behave in similar situation, what needs to be done and said, the husband will be able to help his wife calm down. Although it can be difficult to watch a loved one endure pain, most dads can help with the birth of their baby.

Be aware of what a woman wants

The husband should talk to his wife in advance about what her husband should do during childbirth and what she expects from him. When contractions begin, the woman will find it difficult to control herself and certainly will not have time to explain anything, her husband can give a facial massage to help relieve stress and relax her. While waiting, your wife can apply cool compresses to her neck and face. Even lightly moisturizing your face will help a woman feel good during contractions, when she feels the worst.

The main answer to the question of what to do if your wife gives birth is to help her. For example, if she is thirsty, then her husband should give her water. During contractions, your husband can help change some positions that will help and provide pain relief. The husband's goal is to do whatever is good for his wife. If a wife is giving birth and her back hurts, then he can apply a little pressure with his hand on her back in the lumbar region (or where she speaks) to relieve the pain. You can massage your arms and knees, this will also help relieve pain. Sometimes it is enough for a wife to feel her husband’s presence during labor to simply feel safe and protected. His moral support very important for a woman in labor.

Know what to expect

Childbirth is not the right time to leaf through a pregnancy and childbirth manual, so to know how to help your wife during childbirth, you need to read it all in advance. This will make it possible to remain calm and help your spouse during the prenatal period. The literature provides basic information about what childbirth entails, and there is also information in the section for dads on how to plan and behave. Despite all the knowledge gained, the spouse must remain flexible. Childbirth strategies that work for some women may not work for others, including his own wife. A partner's job is to see what works and be willing to let go of what doesn't. The husband's help during childbirth is certainly important, so he should be close to his wife. Even when she can say that she does not want to be touched, she does not want her husband’s support. The partner just needs to stand next to her, so that she can feel his presence, and just verbally encourage her.

Support

Another role of the husband during childbirth is to become a support for his wife. Although there will be many experienced people around in the maternity hospital to help the spouse, the husband will in any case be the most important support for the partner. He must do whatever she needs. It’s good if the husband tries to pay attention to the emotional and physical state his wife. This way, he can do everything possible to provide his wife with everything she needs. Sometimes it is enough to just stand next to her, hold her hand (if the wife asks for it) and listen carefully to what the doctors say, because you may have to broadcast this to the laboring wife.

Responsibility

Despite the fact that childbirth is a natural process, there is always some danger for the mother and the child. The husband must be ready to take responsibility for the course of events. Only both partners know what they both want, but the woman in labor is not in the best condition to make difficult decisions. The husband must be ready to take some decisive action if the situation demands it. Perhaps in the event of complications, doctors will suggest a caesarean section, or to act differently in the current situation, but the husband, in turn, must be ready to decide something and bear responsibility for it. This is that for an emergency operation it will be necessary to sign authorization documents, and if a woman has been in labor for many hours and may be under the influence of drugs, she is not able to do this herself. This is where a decision will need to be made.

Patience

The spouse must be willing to wait. Contrary to what is shown in movies and television, most women give birth within a few hours, and sometimes labor can take a whole day or even several. Many couples find it more convenient to spend early contractions at home. In addition, many people prefer not to go to the hospital until contractions are regular and infrequent. The husband must be ready at any moment at his wife’s request to take her to the hospital. In addition, it will not necessarily be during the day; very often labor begins at night, so the husband has a great responsibility to deliver his wife to the hospital in a timely manner. It is advisable that the car be parked near the house, and most importantly, the man should not drink alcohol in the evening. If you do not have a personal car, you should agree in advance with someone who lives nearby and is ready to take the woman in labor, since there may not be time to wait for an ambulance or taxi to arrive. All this requires a lot of patience, but you need to think about what the wife is feeling now and wait for a positive outcome of the birth.

Childbirth is an exciting process not only for a woman, but also for her husband. During labor activity It is important for a woman to know that her husband is with her and that he will not leave her. This gives her confidence that everything will go well and nothing bad will happen to her and her child. It is important that her husband supports her and sets her up for a positive outcome of the birth.

The life path of any man is filled with stress and trials. Heavy physical work, mental fatigue, financial difficulties: all these issues are resolved one way or another throughout life. But what can really unsettle even the most courageous of men is the betrayal of the woman he loves. It is difficult to describe in words the mental pain that a husband experiences upon learning of the betrayal of his beloved wife. It is especially unbearable to realize that a wife may be expecting a child from another person. Such news can drive any mentally healthy male member crazy.

We are taught from childhood that there is a holy union in the life of every person. And home is a sacred place where you can relax after a hard day at work, where all problems are solved together, where affectionate and faithful wife waiting for her loved one over a warm dinner. And now, overnight this fortress can collapse. It’s clear that over the years feelings pass, love fades away and wives are capable of cheating on their husbands. It doesn’t matter why the wife cheated, what matters is that it happened. Family life will now be divided into periods “before” and “after” adultery.

Surprisingly, men justify their unfaithful wives by blaming themselves for their infidelity. They are partly right, but all the blame cannot be placed on the shoulders of one person. After all, a loving woman will first do everything to save the family, and if it doesn’t work out, she will offer to separate. Then he will build a relationship with another person without causing heartache recently to a close man. That is why it is very difficult to justify a cheater if, in addition, she became pregnant by someone else.

Don't give in to the emotions that overwhelm you. You shouldn’t drown out the pain in alcohol and give vent to others bad habits. Do not raise your hand to a pregnant woman, no matter how much you want to. In a state of passion, men are capable of committing rash acts and causing harm to the health of their wife and unborn child. You will want to deal with your opponent even more. Remember, the Criminal Code will not be on your side. No matter how difficult it is to imagine, you need to enter into a dialogue with your spouse and jointly decide how to live further so as not to traumatize the child’s psyche.

You will have to make more than one difficult choice, and you must be prepared for it. Whether you decide to get a divorce or try to save the family: the accepted option is carefully thought out and agreed upon by both spouses. Think about how you will build further relations With biological father child. Whether you prohibit him from communicating or demand that he transfer money to support the baby: also discuss all these nuances with your wife. Understand that doubts will torment you for a long time, but sooner or later the situation will be resolved for the better for you, and you will find an acceptable solution to the existing problem.

What to do if your wife is expecting a baby not from you

After a man finds out that his wife or girlfriend is not pregnant from you, he falls into a state of shock, followed by anger, resentment and a desire to take revenge on the cheater. But as soon as the first emotions subside, the question arises: what to do in a situation where the wife became pregnant from someone else.

Keep in mind that when a child is born, you will constantly be haunted by the thought that you are not his father. Every day you will see living proof of your wife’s betrayal, constantly remember her deception and imagine another person next to her. This situation can put an end to your mental health. In this situation, remember that you are not the only man who went through this. There will definitely be a rational solution; there is no need to fall into despair and do something that you will bitterly regret later.

In some families, it happens that a woman hides infidelity, and after a while the husband finds out that his child is not from him, but from his lover. Most often this happens when it is announced real father child and blackmails your wife by telling the truth. The woman is burdened by a feeling of guilt, and she confesses everything to her husband. We must give the wife credit for having the courage to be honest with her husband. Although no one absolves the woman of guilt.

Try to calm down and put your thoughts in order. You need to soberly assess the situation and think about what to do. Of course, every case requires individual approach, but you can find a solution that works for you.

1. Ask yourself a question: Are you ready to continue living with this woman and raising her child? Can you forgive your spouse for her treacherous transgression? Will you trust your wife? Can you love someone else’s baby as your own and remember that the child is not to blame for anything?
2. After you found out that your wife “knocked up from someone else», further fate families in to a greater extent depends on your decision. You have every right to file for divorce from your wife. Forgiving betrayal and continuing to live with a cheater is very difficult. Moreover, not everyone can raise a child who is not their own. If you want to break family bonds, find a good lawyer and find out how to legally file a divorce if your wife did not give birth to you.
3. If you love your wife so much If you are ready to forgive the fact that she gave birth to someone else, think about how you will raise a child from a rival. Psychologists advise stopping communication with the biological father of your son or daughter. In order not to traumatize the baby’s psyche, you must accept him as yours. own child. It is possible that you will fall in love with the born boy or girl and forget about who the real father is. And only when the child turns 18 years old should you tell him the truth. Because a child has every right to know who his biological parents are. Perhaps you will encounter more than one in the future difficult situation, but now it’s better to limit communication with your wife’s lover if you want to save the family.
4. , if the wife gave birth not from her husband, it is possible only if you have been married for a long time and have no children. At the same time, you went through all the examinations and found out that the problem is with you. You must understand that every woman strives to become a mother. IVF exists now, but what if financially you can’t afford it? expensive procedure. Then you must accept the woman's decision, have a child with another man, and love her child.
5. If you are confused in a situation and cannot control your emotions, contact a practicing psychologist. Expert advice will help direct your thoughts in the right direction and find a way out of the current situation. A psychologist will definitely help the deceived husband return to his usual rhythm of life and maintain his mental health.

The situation when a wife cheated on her husband and became pregnant by her lover is very tragic and is difficult for all participants in this drama. What choice you make depends on your specific case. The main thing that decisions made were based on mutual respect and honesty between you and your wife. And then, perhaps, together you will be able to get out of this situation with dignity, and your marriage will only become stronger. And if you decide to save your family, then do not blame your wife for what she did and do not take your anger out on your child. This could lead to an even greater crisis in family relationships. Be really strong man, who can handle any challenge.