Why did a friend stop communicating as before? Why do people stop communicating with each other?

I would call friendship a phenomenon, it’s so amazing when complete strangers become family and closest ones. We are connected with them funny stories, sad memories, shared experiences or successes, and sometimes the whole life. For each of us, friendship is something special, everyone puts their own meaning into this concept, everyone has their own friendship story - successful or not. For myself, for example, I have identified the main quality of friendship - trust; without it, communication is unthinkable for me; for me, a friend is someone with whom I don’t have to put on masks.

Remember how in childhood it didn’t cost us anything to approach another with the question: “Let’s be friends?” – and, as a rule, always obtain consent for this. And then they start cooperative games, secrets, secret signs, joy and fun. Of course, with age, the concept of “friendship” expands, more deep meaning: now a friend is a person we can rely on, to whom we trust all our shortcomings and weak spots. But over time, something happens, something is broken, and people stop being friends, although no quarrels or betrayals occurred, so what? Let's find out!

Why do friends stop communicating?

You can stop communicating with a friend for several reasons, and they are not always “tragic”; let’s look at the most common ones.

1. Marriage and, most often, marriage, since there is still an opinion in the world that if there is a husband, then girlfriends can wait and are relegated to the background. Almost all free time the woman now spends on her family. And in general, many couples in love forget about their friends and believe that nothing is more important than their love. At first wedding kaleidoscope things will take up all the time, then efforts are spent on creating a home, and after the birth of the baby, there will be no time even for sleep, much less for friends. And friendship breaks, and when the understanding comes that something is lost and missing, it is already too late. Former friends started new life with other interests.
2. The mobile world is both the ease of communication and the “trouble” of the new generation. Undoubtedly, modern means and communication methods allow us to communicate from anywhere in the world. But at the same time, live communication suffers greatly; not a single call, even the longest, can replace dinner at a pizzeria or a trip to the movies. And, as a rule, telephone friendships do not last long; over time, calls become less frequent and shorter, and communication on the Internet begins to be superficial.
3. Change of job - and no friendship! Of course, the easiest place to make friends is at work, since we spend most of our day there. You have more points of contact - common problems, tasks, similar schedule, etc., hence the mutual desire to see each other more often and not only within the office walls. But if you quit or move to another company, this friendship can easily fade away, and it suddenly becomes obvious that nothing connected you except a common place of work.
4. New friends, hobbies, activities, interests - in general, few people manage to maintain the same priorities and hobbies throughout their lives. People change, and this is wonderful and absolutely normal. Someone suddenly loses their inheritance and it becomes unnecessary to work, someone gets married successfully and moves to live in another country, someone drops everything and flies to the ocean shore. Naturally, it becomes difficult for some of your friends to understand and accept new image the lives of a loved one disappear common topics for a conversation, mutual friends disappear, and on one good memory the relationship cannot last.

Of course, there are many more reasons why people break up with even the most true friends, - tragedy, deception, envy, betrayal, but in these cases a person must decide for himself whether to continue his friendship with a similar comrade, whether he can forgive and forget all the insults. And now I want to tell you how you can save friendship at the first cracks in a relationship.

How to save a friendship?

I am a supporter of the idea that friendship must be saved; there are not so many like-minded people in the world, and I firmly believe that it is necessary to value every person.

Here are 10 simple tips that will help you save warm relations for many years:

• Be Appreciative – Don't forget to thank your friend when they help you or just be there for you, and don't forget to tell them how much you appreciate them.
• “No” to criticism – it’s better to support and help with advice. Of course, objective criticism is necessary, but it’s better not to agree, for example, if a friend reports that he did something wrong, even if this is true, just reassure him, 99% of people are just waiting for this.
• Trust and be a confidant - do not discuss your friend with strangers or friends, know how to keep secrets. You both need to know and be confident that you can rely on each other at any moment.
• When going somewhere together, under no circumstances leave your boyfriend/girlfriend alone without their consent.
• Spend some time apart, because friendship also needs rest, and then you can tell each other a lot of new and interesting things.
• Self-interest and calculation have no place here - it is wrong to be friends just for the sake of being able to use, for example, the services of a friend’s car service.
• Don’t just talk about your affairs and learn to listen carefully to your friend - this is one of the problems that arise between close people.
• Friendship for three or more - if your boyfriend/girlfriend has someone else as a friend, don’t even think about getting angry or offended. This does not mean at all that he/she will treat you worse. Better be glad that the person has an open and kind soul.
• Relationship support - depending on the occasion, write letters, don’t forget to call, send gifts, help with a child, with repairs, you never know the options when it’s worth showing concern for your friendship.
• If your friends radically change their work/life/hobbies, first try to understand them, then accept and continue the relationship in new conditions.

Take care of friendship - this is one of the best manifestations of a happy life!

Situations when she was waiting around the clock for a call from her loved one. When your heart sank with frantic anxiety in the hope of hearing your own voice. But men don’t seem to understand that women are waiting for their call and hoping for reciprocal feelings. Sometimes a young man does not call back even after the first date, although all the time he held his companion’s hand and looked at her with loving eyes. Sometimes a man stops communicating in the midst of an affair, although there were no objective prerequisites for this. And it is not known which of the situations is more difficult. The first is when it’s offensive that you are ignored. Or the second, when feelings appeared - and silence, like a knife, cuts the heart. So, why did the man suddenly stop communicating? Let's look at these two situations in more detail.

Why did the man suddenly stop communicating after the first date?

The rich female imagination can draw a thousand reasons for the disappearance young man. But usually they have nothing to do with reality. So, what's the matter?

Explaining everything, but absolutely fantastic reasons

1. Force majeure

For example, his friend died or close person, and he had to quickly leave the city, region, country. Go to a place where there are no mobile towers. Of course, he is worried and wants to call and chat, but circumstances are stronger than him. Is it possible? Quite. After all, every day someone dies. Maybe your chosen one really has just such a situation? But if he really fell in love with you, the man will always find the opportunity and time to communicate.

2. Disease

It doesn't matter how heavy it is. The main thing is that your loved one is simply not capable of even writing a simple SMS. You begin to convince yourself of the seriousness of this version. On the other hand, what prevents him from contacting you through a friend or relatives and explaining the reason for his silence? No matter how serious the illness, it is not an obstacle to a simple phone call.

3. He was killed

This explains this behavior of the man. Now high level crime, and the guy got caught. All that remains is to cry and say goodbye failed love. But, you see, this reason is the most incredible.

Real reasons

1. Sex on the first date

After the first date, two scenarios are possible: either the man and woman will end up in the same bed, or in different ones. Why is the first option an error? Yes, because any man is a conqueror. And if he has already received everything, then what should he strive for? If there was no sex, then with each new meeting his sympathy and interest would grow in And so - the motivation disappeared, and with it the desire to communicate. In general, you only have yourself to blame for this!

2. Too much alcohol

In a drunken stupor, communication between a woman and a man can go far beyond the boundaries of decency. Everything is possible - a story about your secrets, and passionate confessions in love, and proposals of the heart. You should not believe words spoken while intoxicated. Yes and any normal girl understands that while drunk it is difficult to seriously interest a man. And it’s even more stupid to hope for a continuation of the relationship.

Most common reason

It is not necessary to know what is hidden behind the concepts of “features of intersexual communication” and other scientific terms in order to determine the most common reason disappearance of a partner. It is very banal - you are not his type. You may have spectacular appearance and rich inner world, but the man simply wasn’t hooked, and that’s all. Don’t be upset, because even royalty, movie stars and models are rejected. This is just not your person!

Why did a man suddenly stop communicating in the midst of an affair?

What to do if the relationship has been going on for several weeks or even months? The chosen one suddenly stopped calling, answering calls, appearing in in social networks and even maintain relationships with mutual friends? What if this is the end of a whirlwind romance? Or can this behavior still be explained?

Banal reasons

1. Women give phone calls value too high

When a girl is waiting for a call from her chosen one, she simply doesn’t understand that it doesn’t even occur to him to call. “If I don’t call, it means I’m busy” - this is what most guys think. In addition, many people have situations in their lives when they simply don’t want to talk on the phone. And it is not necessary that the reason for such reluctance is the girl herself. Therefore, you need to calm down and stop waiting for his call. Your loved one will show up on his own.

2. You may be in too much of a hurry

Yes, you went on a few dates and had a good time. So why did the man suddenly stop communicating? main reason- you treat him as your property and are very jealous. And the guys are in no hurry to say goodbye to their freedom, especially at the beginning of the novel. Of course, after the first date, girls tend to fantasize about what kind of children the newly-made gentleman will have and how long and happily they will live in marriage. Guys are not characterized by such sentimentality.

You are already seriously thinking about wedding bells, and your chosen one may not yet have decided whether to continue the relationship at all. If this is so, then there is nothing surprising in his reluctance to communicate. By leaving, he makes it clear that he is not ready for serious changes. By at least, Now.

Serious reasons

Here we’ll talk about the reasons why your loved one decided to withdraw from the relationship. Maybe he didn’t have the courage to say it to his face, or maybe he wanted to give him the opportunity to leave him first. Well, he stopped communicating and hasn’t called for several days, and you sent him a message that it’s all over. And it’s easier for him, and a load off your shoulders... This is what the man thinks, and the woman continues to hope for the resumption of communication. What makes the stronger half do this?

1. You may be too good for him.

Overly educated, beautiful, smart. If he feels like an unsightly simpleton with complexes next to you, then it will be difficult to maintain a relationship. You may have been smarting up too much on dates, and as we know, men don't approve of that. To feel real macho, they need a simpleton who laughs, looking with adoration and greedily catching every word. Moreover, she may be well-mannered and erudite, but she is smart enough to hide it. On the other hand, why do you need a chosen one who doesn’t live up to your standards? A man and a woman are happy in a relationship only when they have or same level development, or representative strong half cleverer.

2. Inflates his worth

This is very common among young people. If a guy feels like a “star” and is sure that the girl will be waiting for his call, then he will remain silent. A man does this to provoke a woman and later take her “lukewarm”. You just need to take into account that the girl may have new boyfriends during this period, and the unlucky “star” will be forgotten.

Conclusion

Of course, it is very unpleasant if a man does not want to communicate. And it doesn’t matter what stage your relationship is at. This is always a difficult situation for a woman. Try to find in this positive sides. Firstly, he may not be your dream, and now your hands are free to search for your true happiness. Secondly, there is even nobility in his action: he did not give hope and fool his head. So blow him a kiss and... forget it. Remember, if your chosen one truly loves, he will never disappoint you with a long wait.

The article was presented by psychologist Yu. Vinnik

When people have been best friends for several years, and then suddenly stop communicating, it is surprising and even somewhat unpleasant. There is a feeling of losing something important in your life. Of course, it goes away over time, since a person is a sociable person, which means he will have new acquaintances who will eventually become friends. But still, a residue of regret about past relationships remains.

So why do people stop being friends?

There are actually a lot of reasons. One of which is when people start seeing each other less often. Everyone has their own, different interests, the circle of friends changes, appears, etc. Of course, you can maintain warm relations by using mobile phone, but when friends have nothing to talk about, they become just friends with whom you call each other on holidays.

Very often the habit of spending time together is mistaken for friendship. At first, we like that there is someone nearby who understands you perfectly and is ready to help at any moment, and besides, you can have a heart-to-heart talk with him. But soon you will find out that your secrets have ceased to be such, that your best friend He listens with pleasure about your troubles rather than rejoices at your successes. Such friendship has no future, which means it’s time to part. And the sooner the better.

Question for a psychologist:

Hello.

My best friend stopped communicating with me for a reason that is not entirely clear to me. We have been friends for 3 years, and everything was always good, we understood each other perfectly, and he always stayed with me more than others if there were parties, etc. We started communicating especially well in April, we spent my entire vacation together, he took me everywhere and entertained me (I live in another country, so I come on vacation once every six months). At that time I had a boyfriend, but during the vacation I realized that I no longer wanted to be with him (at that time I still did not understand that it was all because of my friend). I went back, broke up with my boyfriend and decided to return to my homeland, because something was pulling me there. My friend began to write to me more and more, and now we corresponded with him every day. He was glad to see me back. I realized that I had a non-friendly sympathy for him, and I would be interested in trying a relationship with him. But soon he wrote that he had an “unreal” date with a girl, this didn’t upset me, but slightly hooked me (at that time I didn’t have any feelings for him strong feelings). He didn’t immediately talk about the details of the date, but then he told me, and I was sincerely happy for him. Afterwards I asked when he planned to meet her again, to which he said that he didn’t know yet, and he didn’t need it. He then sent me what she wrote to him so that we could laugh together. I told him that he was not treating the girl nicely. Afterwards, he sent me a photo with a bottle of wine and two glasses, and I asked if this was preparation for a second date or if he was waiting for me (as a joke), he replied that he was waiting for me, but I took it as a joke. Despite my plans to return to my homeland, I met a new guy and decided to stay. I thought that since my friend was writing to me about a date, then I was mistaken in thinking that there was something between us. After I announced my relationship, he asked, “Are you not coming back anymore?” I said that I would come, but not forever, but for a couple of months. He asked “why is everything so serious” and I said that everything is as usual with me, I plan one thing, but it turns out something else. He didn’t answer and didn’t write for a day. Afterwards I wrote, and we continued to communicate as usual. When I arrived, we met and, as usual, we were always together and everything was just super. At one of the first parties we danced and had fun, he led me by the hand everywhere (there were a lot of people there and it was probably necessary), but at one point he crossed our fingers (how couples hold on) and I didn’t expect/was scared and took him hand in hand as friends. As soon as we went outside, he let go of my hand and acted as if nothing had happened. In by next days everything was fine, but gradually I began to feel that he was starting to move away, because there was a feeling that he was afraid to come close to me, plus he refused to make plans for the next days, saying that he could not promise anything. All the time mine new guy he called me at least once a day, and I talked to him in front of my friend, and it seemed to me that my friend didn’t really like it. My boyfriend sometimes just asked me to pass the phone to a friend and I passed it on. It all ended with him going out of town for a couple of days and not writing at all and not even liking photos on Facebook. It seemed strange to me, because this had simply never happened, and I knew that something was wrong. Two days later I wrote to him, and he said that he was tired, so he was resting. A day later, I wrote, offering to meet (before he always wrote and offered to meet, we even made plans to go on vacation, and this was also his idea), to which he said that he was lazy. The next day he called and suggested we go out to lunch. We met and were mostly silent. I tried to find out what was going on, he said that everything was OK, he was just tired of me always wanting to go out, go to clubs and bars (we went to the club twice and it was his idea). And he was also tired of me passing the phone to him when I was talking to someone, although sometimes he himself asked me to pass the phone to him when I was talking with our friends. Yes, I offered to go further and longer when we were in the city, but I told him that if he wanted to leave, he had to tell me or leave and that’s it. To which he replied that he could not leave me alone, like his other friends, since I came from another country. Afterwards, he suggested going out to meet other friends, but when I explained that they had families, he asked if it was time for me to start a family. I was surprised by this question; I had been dating my boyfriend for a month. And he asked again “isn’t it serious or what?” I said that I didn’t want to answer this question and couldn’t. He offered to talk, but I heatedly snapped that there was nothing to talk about, since he was asking stupid questions. Then we were mostly silent again. He said that I was very tense and that I needed to do yoga to get rid of negativity, to which I was surprised. After we got to his car, he offered to give me a ride home, but I decided to go in the other direction, so we were out of the way. He is in last moment He said that maybe the negativity comes from him and he is passing it on to me, I didn’t answer anything and left. After that I didn't see him. I tried to write and lighten the mood, but I answered very briefly and the conversation didn’t work out. Afterwards, I wrote again and asked directly whether he would stop communicating with me as before if I returned to my country as planned. He read the message, but did not respond. I don’t understand how everything turned around so suddenly. We were always together, we planned to open a business, we planned to go on two trips, and then everything collapsed, and he was tired of everything. I don’t know what to do, I’m a failure with the new guy, because I realized that I want to date my friend, since I’m only happy with him. Is it possible to do something? Should I tell him about my feelings or is it better to give him time and wait until he writes to me?

Psychologist Alexandra Aleksandrovna Opaleva answers the question.

Olga, good afternoon.

In my opinion, the point is that both of you are hesitant to talk about your feelings. Uncertainty is tiring and you want to get rid of it. Therefore, everything has to be discussed and clarified, or everyone accepts some kind of explanation for themselves and forces themselves to forget about it. unpleasant situation ignorance. So, when the young man was describing his date, you explained to yourself that he was not interested in you as a girl. Perhaps now he has come to the same conclusion regarding you.

I think you need to have an honest conversation with each other. If you are worried about his reaction, then stop at the monologue. That is, do not find out what he thinks about a relationship with you, but say what YOU think. And most importantly, tell him what you want from him. Tell us how you imagine your relationship. The conversation can be ended with the words “I had to tell you about my feelings for you because I couldn’t calm down. Now I spoke out and I feel better.” You don’t have to wait for an answer, but say goodbye and leave. If he has something to say, he won't keep you waiting long. And even if there is nothing to say, and your relationship comes to an end, with this conversation you will put an end to it, you have spoken out, the uncertainty has disappeared, and it will become easier to start moving on.

4.5 Rating 4.50 (10 Votes)

Everyone can be within themselves, think about their own things, but everyone must correctly show everyone around their intentions and respect. If you don't, people will simply turn away from you. In order for others to be drawn to you, you need to avoid mistakes, which we'll talk Further.

Reason one: you don’t call your interlocutors by name

Psychologists say that at least sometimes you need to mention the name of your interlocutor in conversations. It's not so much whether you use this advice or not, but how often others use it. If at least one person calls your name during a dialogue when addressing you, then he or she will have more weight for you than anyone else. There is one very important trick for those who want to make a person like him more when meeting someone - you need to say his name. For example, you say my name is Elena, and they answer you: “And I’m Artem.” You say: “Very nice, Artem.” This has a very powerful effect. The person will immediately remember you and, what is much more important, he or she will remember that it is pleasant to communicate with you. If you have memory problems, society will still perceive it negatively, so write down names so you don't forget them.

Reason two: you only talk about topics that are interesting only to you

Think about it: will everyone around you be interested in hearing about your problems with your children? new diet, a new fitness trainer, about a broken carburetor in a car, about politics. Take a closer look at people's reactions. It can be very revealing, because most people may not be interested in your stories about your personal life. People should want to ask you something if you tell something. If this does not happen, then no one is interested in your topics. Subsequently you will not be asked anything.

Another tip: don’t talk about politics and religion unless you want literally everyone to hate you. This is bad manners. Of course, this is not for every society bad taste, but for most work teams this is terrible. If they don’t communicate with you after your monologues, then you are talking about the wrong topics.

Reason three: you only talk about yourself

Perhaps you are turning all the conversations on yourself. This is also incredibly annoying to everyone around. The man told interesting story, and instead of saying your opinion about it, you start: “But I have...”.

You should only talk about yourself if you are asked something directly. Perhaps you are the person who constantly turns the topic to your loved one. You cannot do this under any circumstances unless you want to become an outcast. On the contrary, take an interest in other people after their monologues, ask them questions. Show interest, then they will quickly love you.

Reason four: you gossip and discuss others behind their backs

Nobody likes hypocrites, even if there are other hypocrites in the team besides you. Even if you really want to discuss your colleague’s new provocative dress with a friend or your boss’s new car with a friend, it is better not to do this. If you cannot abstract yourself from negative statements, then it is better not to say anything. Of course, rumors and gossip may be spread about you that you are pretending to be a saint, but no one is immune from this. Just avoid it without reproaching others for their sins. Good people it’s still a lot, so they definitely won’t communicate with you if you constantly discuss someone with them behind their back. People understand that you can therefore discuss them too.

Reason five: your lack of confidence in conversation

People don't want to talk to people who try to say one phrase but use many. unnecessary words. Of course, this may not be fair to you, but unfortunately no one cares. There are few people who can understand others in this regard. Of course, this is not so big reason to avoid you and not talk to you. But this irritates many people.

Reason six: you answer in monosyllables

There is no doubt, you most likely just don’t want to talk. This method of conducting a dialogue with someone who is not interesting to you can alienate other people. It is possible that you have high self-esteem, narcissism. This needs to be corrected, and as quickly as possible. People will not speak to someone who considers them to be inferior creatures. Here you will have to try to improve.

Reason seven: you constantly whine

Your life is filled with problems that you share with everyone. You can be understood because you always want to get some kind of approval, support, advice, but people get tired of your troubles, which are more familiar to them than their own.

Reason eight: you don't inspire respect

This problem can be called global, but light should be shed on the most important thing. You talk about one thing, but do something completely different. If your words contradict your actions, then you should take care of yourself. People avoid communicating with those who constantly lie or pretend.

Reason nine: you are not confident in introducing yourself to people

When you come to a place, you need to say hello and introduce yourself to everyone who doesn’t know you. This will show that you are inclined to dialogue and are ready to conduct it with everyone. Simply saying hello to everyone at once will not be a gross mistake, because this is what most people do. It is for this same reason that it is worth doing everything differently, so as not to attribute yourself to this majority.

It is very important to introduce yourself not only yourself, but also to introduce your companions to people you know. It will be easier for your companion to engage in conversation, and the people around you will automatically look more positively at you as a person who knows how to behave in society. Rules good manners were invented for a reason.

For these nine reasons, many people may stop communicating with you or may not want to communicate with you. If you recognize yourself at several points, then this is even worse, but there is no need to hang your nose. You can become better, more popular and win people over if you try a little. Overcome the fear of communicationif you have it, because people who are too secretive also become outcasts, as well as those who are very talkative. Good luck and don't forget to press the buttons and