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“Why have children?” — this kind of question simply did not exist before. Today, almost every socially adapted woman asks herself this question.

But really, why?

The theory about a glass of water has never worked, and even more so in our time. Biological instinct? It is unlikely; against the backdrop of general egocentrism, its influence is negligible. Save the planet? I am begging you..

The desire to be loved and to love? Maybe yes. But you will have to love (read - give) much more than you receive in return. We ourselves, the children of our parents, know how it works, right?

Or maybe to “strengthen the marriage”? I think this is why many people give birth.

The forum is now gaining popularity #happinessofmotherhood, where girls anonymously share their feelings. Many openly admit that they do not experience any happiness. Others are trying to cling to something. But the most heartbreaking thing is that the vast majority of new mothers begin to fiercely hate the fathers of their children.

Dreaming of leaving, and not “sealing the marriage.”

I don’t presume to draw conclusions about what happiness this really is. But to the question “why” I have the following position:

You need to have children for only one purpose - to serve them. Dedicate your life to them. Waste your life capital on them.

In my opinion, this is the most the right attitude per child. And the most profitable in the long term.

Every person must serve someone or something. People who are not obligated to anyone are, as a rule, unhappy, worthless and not needed by anyone. Just look at how the so-called “golden youth” are corrupted. No calling? Don't need to earn money and don't want a family? Is there no need to stress either? - welcome to degradation and decay.

A person who does not want to give his strength, his potential, to someone or something begins to be corroded from the inside.

Life capital is a vital resource that each of us, one way or another, will waste. You won't be able to take it with you. There is no point in saving until the very end - it will depreciate. Spending everything on yourself won’t work either; you can only save for yourself so that you can spend even more later.

Children are one of the main ways of spending.

The child is big, beautiful (in theory), long-term project. Real creativity.

It’s hard, of course.. But

Don’t writers and ballerinas “beat their heads against the wall” and they succeed without pain and irritation and the first time?

The Olympic champion wastes his life's resources on achieving results in his sport. Artist to create an exhibition. A ballerina works day after day, for years at the barre, to dance the main role at the Bolshoi Theater.

The mother spends her resources on raising the child.

Please note that there are no guarantees here or there. You can break your leg at 27 and be left without medals or profession. You can paint a million paintings and not sell a single one. You can raise a child who doesn't become a genius.

Or maybe vice versa. And everything is fine with the children and with business and even in creativity there is continuous success.

It happens, don’t you believe it? look at instagram

So I don’t believe it. Only a few can embrace the immensity.

So, the problem of #happinessofmotherhood can be divided into several parts:

• They take on a project, but do not count on the strength to complete it.
• Or they don’t perceive motherhood as a life project at all.
• In the process they understand that this is not at all what they want.

As you can see, all these points can easily be applied to any type of life activity. Business. Sport. Marriage. Creation. We understand that out of a thousand athletes, only a few reach Olympic heights. Not every thousand businessmen makes it onto the Forbes list. But one way or another, there is effort everywhere.

Since the day of my marriage, I have always dreamed of a happy, friendly family, where children's laughter is constantly heard and every day is filled with joy, care, attention and memorable moments.

Now I am a happy mother of three children, and I evaluate my motherhood as successful and comfortable. But it was not always so.

Motherhood is an experience that can and should be learned from more experienced mothers.

When a child is born, a woman’s maternal instinct awakens, which allows the mother to unconditionally accept and love her child, the ability and desire to protect him, the desire to take care of him. But maternal instinct does not give us knowledge of how to take care of a child and raise him. For this we need maternal experience.

All the subtleties of maternal art are important for an inexperienced mother learn a mother with a positive (happy) maternal experience.

With the birth of my daughter, I gained experience from my mother, mother-in-law, friends, other women I knew, read on the Internet, talked on forums, and even took courses (time management, raising children).

Now I have a considerable experience of birth and motherhood behind me, three children after all, but I still have to learn how to raise a child - a schoolchild and a teenager)))

And this is why I say all this: need to study be happy mom and put a lot of effort into it.

IN modern world 80% of young mothers do not feel happy, it’s hard for them. Everyday life, routine, fatigue, turmoil, lack of help, illnesses of children sometimes do not leave the mother with the strength to feel the joy of communicating with her child and enjoy motherhood to the fullest.

If you want to be a happy mother, you need to start moving in this direction! We need to do something to clear everything up. negative emotions and everything that causes them. And first, let’s define the “enemies” of happy motherhood.

What prevents young mothers from fully enjoying their happiness - motherhood? I will write from my experience.

1. Fatigue .

Of course, if the mother is exhausted, tired, has no strength, no energy, that is, the mother is completely “empty” inside, what kind of joy can we talk about? Mom needs to rest in order to feel good and be healthy, to have personal time WITHOUT CHILDREN, YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND LOVE YOURSELF. Of course, children are the most important thing in our lives, but if mom feels bad, the children will feel bad too. They are our reflection, mother is an example for her children.

You cannot forget about yourself, and this is not selfishness, but the truth of life. Let's remember the instructions on the plane:

First, the mother puts on an oxygen mask for herself, only then for the child. Because if the mother loses consciousness, the child will not be able to put the mask on himself, much less the mother. In order to protect your child, you must at least be alive yourself))

So the most important thing is for mom to rest, get good sleep, light housework (household appliances, helpers) and take care of herself. This is in short)))

What causes fatigue?

Because if mothers suffer from perfectionism.

If someone doesn’t know what this is, then I’ll explain: many mothers get hung up on the perfection of everything and everyone around them.

For example, before the birth of a child, a woman always had a snow-white bedspread on her bed and a white glossy table, glowing with cleanliness. And the light curtains that she washed every month and admired. A child appeared, grew up, the baby is 1.5 - 2 years old. And he endlessly crumbles something on the table, climbs onto the bed with dirty hands, hides behind the curtains, the mother gets nervous, scolds the child, washes the table, washes the bedspread, the child dirty everything around him every day, making a mess. Mom is irritable, she is tired of washing the bedspread, mine, she washes, rubs, rubs, but there seems to be no increase in order...

Did anyone recognize themselves?))))

It's obvious here perfectionism! Take away the snow-white things and make your work easier! In a house where there are children, perfect order it won’t (well, maybe there are a few percent of children who don’t litter))) But basically it’s like that!

Have pity on yourself, don't be a perfectionist! Highlight certain time a week for cleaning and don’t do it all your way free time, and even more so when the child is sleeping. Take better care of yourself, make a hair mask or something else!

And even better, involve the whole family in cleaning, teach children to clean up after themselves. If you take it, put it back! This is our rule!

I wrote in more detail about fatigue and what causes it in the article

Mom takes care of herself, gets enough sleep, feels good, what else prevents her from being happy?

2. Guilt

“I’m a bad mother, the children don’t meet developmental standards, they get sick, I can’t do anything...” repentance, etc., etc.

It happens to everyone, especially if something happened to a child (ugh, ugh, ugh, God forbid!). And mom begins to engage in self-criticism! And then there are reproaches from the husband or someone close: “You are as always!”, “Everything is not thank God!”, “I told you so!” Of course, a constant feeling of guilt will not allow you to enjoy motherhood.

If a woman makes a mistake, then you need to remember: THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, THERE ARE LESSONS AND EXPERIENCE! Mom learned her lesson and will do everything to prevent this from happening again.

Well, as for developmental norms, everything is individual for all children! And you cannot compare different children, even if they are the same age. I have three children and they all develop differently; what one child can do at a certain age, another cannot do at the same age. Still, for every mother, her child is the most beloved and the best! And for a child, his mother is the best! Don't torment yourself needlessly.

“The children don’t listen to me”! “They don’t want to eat, they’re being capricious!”

This is a problem for every mother, it happens to us too))))

Help here books on child psychology and parenting. And if you just sit and complain about children’s disobedience, then your relationship with your child will not improve. And mom will continue to blame herself...

3. Endless household (and other) chores that take up most of mom’s time

Planning household chores has helped me save a lot of time. I do a lot of things with the child in my arms, or sit him next to him in high chair. My son can sit quietly for 10-15 minutes, then he starts to get indignant))) So I do everything for 15 minutes;)))

In general, children are different and you need to be able to adapt to life with children. Homework can be simplified and streamlined. If possible, make your work easier with the help of household appliances(dishwasher, multicooker, robot vacuum cleaner) and attract homework loved ones. And don't get hung up! Allocate a certain time for routine tasks, set a timer and go! The time is up - stop and do something else! Well, of course, this does not apply to cooking; if you are cooking soup, then you need to finish it))))

4. Public opinion

There will always be “well-wishers” who will not like how you dressed the child, how you feed him, how you raise him, how you talk to him, how..., how..., how... And if you listen to every opinion, try to help someone please, then it will not be your life, but life with the expectations of other people. Do you want that? I'm sure not!

The opinions of my husband and loved ones are important to me.

Before I had children, I was always afraid public opinion. Now this has passed... It is impossible to please everyone! Each person has his own view of life and circumstances. I will always listen to another person’s point of view, take something into account, but do it as I see fit, trusting common sense, intuition and professionals))) Which I advise you too!

What have we come to?

To be a happy mother, you need:

— First of all, take care of yourself, rest, to be healthy, full of strength and energy.

— We attract helpers.

— We are planning the day.

— We learn to see the positive in everything.

— We do not engage in self-criticism and self-criticism.

— We don’t pay attention to the opinions of others.

Happy motherhood- this is usually the result of effort. You need to learn what you don’t know how to do, learn from the experience of happy mothers, not be upset by failures and move forward.

It happens that life seems to be getting better, and suddenly force majeure: teeth are cutting, a child is sick, something else... Everything happens, without it you can’t go anywhere. This moment must be experienced. I had a similar experience, a difficult moment came, I became sour, you can watch it in the video.

But everything returned to normal after a few days, and I’m quite happy)))

Finally, I want to say that motherhood in itself is a great happiness, the happiness of being close to the baby, growing with him, enjoying his discoveries and achievements, giving love, affection and care, being an example for him.

“Enemies” of happy motherhood exist. There were, are and will be difficulties, but you can overcome them and fully experience the happiness of being a mother.

I really hope that you found the article interesting and useful.

I wrote my assumptions about what prevents my mother from being happy.

And what do you think? What other reasons or “enemies” could happy motherhood have?

Press the social buttons. networks, this is fortunate;)

Lada Lapina columnist

Personally, I think this is a worldwide conspiracy. Judge for yourself: if every woman who dreams of a child paints her future life if the wish is fulfilled, there will be nothing to study in demography. People will find something simpler than raising children by the sweat of their brow, and then releasing them on all four sides, naturally risking receiving a bunch of unfulfilled expectations in return for the titanic efforts invested.

But seriously, two points are important here.

The first is that all sorts of “wrong” thoughts and feelings are often successfully repressed as inappropriate to the letter of motherhood. In order not to give themselves away, women will embellish their life with a child.

Second, annoying experiences are significantly compensated by love. If it were not for the power of love that, in spite of everything, a parent experiences, it would be impossible to endure the hardships of life with children. challenging task. However, warm feelings are not always able to overshadow worries; there may be too many of them.

Look here. The ideal cloudless picture of “me and my child,” written in rainbow colors, begins to shrink from the very beginning. Then the baby does not sleep, when and how much is expected of him. Then, on the contrary, he sleeps so much that you want to check whether he is breathing at all. Either he becomes covered in a rash and suffers from colic, or he develops a dislike for everything called “vegetables.” It grows at a wild speed that gives the pediatrician hiccups, then it stops growing, and the pediatrician is somehow not happy again. And this is just the start of a long distance.

Then children take a long time to adapt to kindergarten, bite other children there, get sick constantly, throw tantrums in public places and refuse to put on the shorts they so lovingly chose in the store. Then they lose a jacket a week at school, constantly quarrel loudly and painfully with their siblings, and show no enthusiasm when faced with homework. Then they lock themselves in their room and don’t respond to phone calls.

The list can be continued endlessly, and it is not clear how to be happy in such an attraction of increased harmfulness.

Elena, who was in shock from the moment of giving birth, which took a day and ended caesarean section, had high hopes for her daughter in terms of changing her worldview. Needless to say, the hopes were justified. The girl was distinguished by her enviable tenacity in the practical development of the expanded register of childhood diseases and did not correspond to any idyllic pictures. Elena carried out a thousand and one manipulations to improve the child’s health, but he was true to himself. The mother could not come to terms with the state of affairs and is still making attempts to increase her daughter’s immunity. However, the worldview in better side changed only when Lena enthusiastically went to work, which she had not previously appreciated.

Many mothers hope that their efforts and perseverance will be rewarded by the behavior of their children. That if they try very hard, everything will work out and happy motherhood will be very close. This is a common misconception that does not take into account the powerful energy of the young body, which resists the idea of ​​socialization and education. One can only envy the strength of desires and perseverance in their implementation. And these desires go categorically against the expectations of the parents.

Julia gave birth to her second child when the first was two years old. She adored her eldest son and thought that the younger one would be his reliable comrade and friend. But the older brother didn’t think so at all. He was very indignant that now they were paying less attention to him, and tried in every possible way to correct the situation. He threw open the bedroom door with a bang when the newborn was just beginning to doze off, and demanded the mother’s urgent participation in assembling the mosaic. At night, both children competed to see who would be the first to snatch maternal tenderness, and woke up in turns. Julia tried to share the love equally and brought in helpers, but the eldest son creatively ran away from them and banged his whole body against the door of the room in which the exhausted mother tried to calm the younger one.

Children also love to disrupt their parents’ plans...

Natasha I bought tickets to the circus in advance. She enthusiastically told her son and daughter what artists work there, how animals are trained, and why clowns are needed. The family arrived early for the performance to walk around the foyer and feel the festive atmosphere. However, as soon as the lights were turned off, the eldest child got ready to go home, and the youngest suddenly became upset digestive system with pollution environment. Other children who were completely unprepared were left to watch the show.

The happiness of motherhood is also sadly affected by the fact that the needs of adults and their offspring constantly and in the most tragic way do not coincide.

For example, most parents firmly believe that children need cleanliness, order and systematic organization. And they cannot understand why their children live calmly in a room in which excavations can be carried out, and also do not run to wash the dishes at the first call. They don’t care at all how the shoes stand in the hallway and that a torn bag with sports uniform. They don't care at all that dirty socks are next to textbooks and that mothers, prone to controlled entropy, struggle with high blood pressure.Moreover, children born to the same parents can resemble each other, like Moscow and Komsomolsk-on-Amur. And what is good for one person is disgusting for another, and atopic dermatitis for another. Try feeding these Komsomol members...

But aerobatics testing the nerves of parents is when everything converges at one point at once.

Ira gave birth to a third child, who turned out to be very restless. If she left with youngest son walk, you could bet: no matter the weather, exactly 30 minutes later he woke up, started crying and calmed down only upon his return. Trying to save some strength, one day Irina stayed at home, sending her older children on an independent walk. Both returned 10 minutes later in tears. One cried that we had not walked enough, the second - that we had walked a lot. Ira, with a screaming baby in her arms, somehow calmed everyone down and sent them off to dinner. Children accidentally spilled a bottle in the kitchen sunflower oil. Trying to eliminate the accident, they wiped the floor with a dry cloth and proudly walked into different sides. Instead of relaxing, the day of the mother of many children ended with a “meditation” on cleaning the apartment.

And such examples are the ocean. Being happy in motherhood is an extremely difficult task.

Not easy, despite the most true love, which does not require immediate reward, gives meaning to daily hard work and supports hard way. The matter is complicated by those very pent-up “negative” experiences and high expectations that make it difficult for the circulation of warmth in the family.

If you accept that dreams are not destined to come true and that children are a separate and very different cosmos from their parents, it will be easier. If you don’t waste energy on suppressing “wrong” reactions and allow yourself to be a tired, twitchy, dissatisfied and irritated mother, solving the problem increased complexity, it will be even easier. This does not mean that children will fly around the apartment on kick thrust. This means that you will be able to remember in time about your vacation and other desires. And to the rested and saturated with strength to the mother's body it's much easier to feel love.

Svetlana Khramova
Conversation “The Happiness of Motherhood”

Class « Happiness of motherhood»

Target: awareness of purpose motherhood.

Progress of the lesson.

1. Parable about motherhood.

Feelings somehow argued. Who is stronger?

“I am stronger,” said Hatred. - I can force a person to do anything, thanks to me Betrayal and Wrath appeared.

No, I’m stronger,” said Jealousy. “Thanks to me, although no feelings have appeared, I can push a person to commit a crime, even murder.”

Come on! - Loneliness was indignant. - What is murder! Now I can drive myself to suicide, which means I’m stronger.

No! - exclaimed Kindness. - Why are you talking about such terrible things? I am stronger, I can help create, give, share.

Ha! And what is the power here? Hatred interrupted her! - This is bullshit! Just think, create! If everyone starts hating each other, then who needs it, your creation?

Don't argue! There is no one stronger than me,” exclaimed Love. - I can good man make it bad, and vice versa. I can take you with me. I can overcome any obstacles.

But in our time, no one values ​​Love anymore,” muttered Treason.

Yes, Love gave up its position a long time ago,” Doubt grinned.

It turns out that everyone is the same,” said Disappointment.

But no! - said Wisdom. - There is a feeling that does not shout about its strength, but it is much more powerful than any of you. It overcomes Betrayal and Anger.

It is not afraid of Hate, it is not at all familiar with Treason, it carries Love within itself, and can create and give.

It is stronger than each of you individually, and even all of you together, because it does not know fear and its own strength.

Can't be! - everyone shouted in unison, “This doesn’t happen!” There is no such feeling, and if there is, then where is it?

He has no time to participate in your disputes. It still protects, instructs and protects, and does not waste time. It's always on guard Happiness and Peace.

Because it - Motherhood.

2. Discussion of the issue "In what happiness of motherhood?» .

Motherhood- This is generally the function of every woman, regardless of whether she now has children or not. The girl is ready from birth to motherhood, the only question is that over time she begins to think about it. Often motherhood sublimates into other energies. Previously, when people lived in communities, it was easier to prepare for pregnancy and childbirth. The girl saw how women nurture children, breastfeed them, and care for their babies. Subsequently, she did all this at ease.

Now this is sad. It’s good if we come to the idea of ​​a child with at least zero information. Then we select information about motherhood in my own way inner feeling. Every woman finds something that is in tune with her inner tuning fork, that she is ready to accept. It is much worse when there is a strong image of the mother, then everything inside is on strike against the new, there is only one thought that it is necessary to do only this way and not otherwise.

When a girl doesn't play daughter - mothers, which means she is in an information vacuum, with zero understanding motherhood. By the age of 14, ideally, a girl should know how pregnant women behave, how to care for a child, how to raise a girl, and how to raise a boy, how to be a wife... Now, having become pregnant, a woman rushes to the Internet, and there, as you know, you can find a lot, but not always natural. Therefore, you need to take a break from all your activities, except motherhood. We were born women, which means that by definition we are ready to be mothers. The most common fear is that I will bad mom. We cannot become a bad mother, because if the child chose us, then that’s what he needs, he needs exactly this experience. Fear arises when we lack information. So you need to go and look for information about what you think might prevent you from being a good mother.

If you want to have happy life , marry the man you love and be loved, give birth to healthy, cheerful children.

When a child in a family grows up healthy, parents are boundlessly happy. But their immense grief if they were born sick, weak child. To cure her, her parents are capable of any sacrifice, agree to any operation, giving her their kidney and other organs for transplantation. However, many of them do not think about the fact that the disease could be prevented if they knew about the reasons that cause or provoke its occurrence. The cause of most diseases is the use of alcoholic drinks And "friendship" with tobacco.

It must be remembered that the female egg is affected by alcohol and tobacco more often and more strongly than the sperm.

Not only systemic alcohol consumption, but also a single consumption of alcoholic beverages can negatively affect a woman’s reproductive cell, O harmful influence alcohol for posterity has been known for a long time. Most severe consequences observed when a woman drank alcohol during pregnancy. A mother deliberately poisons her unborn child. And the consequences of this can be very serious. The most sensitive to the effects of alcohol and tobacco is the fetal brain, mainly those structures responsible for future intellectual activity.

In women who smoke and drink alcohol, pregnancy is twice as likely to end in stillbirth, premature birth, spontaneous miscarriage. In children born to smokers mothers and drink alcohol, a common pathology is mental retardation, congenital heart failure, abnormally small head (microcephaly, underdeveloped limbs, incomplete number of digits on the limbs, severe strabismus, spina bifida, cleft lip, abnormalities of the kidneys and external genitalia.

IN early childhood These children do not gain weight well, often get sick, are restless, irritable, and whiny. They study poorly at school, are undisciplined, and have an early tendency to drink alcohol.

Smoking and drinking alcohol causes irreparable harm and the pregnant woman herself woman: this includes a difficult pregnancy, a large loss of blood during childbirth, and moral suffering, a feeling of guilt if a child is born with defects.

If a woman continues to drink alcohol or smoke after giving birth, she continues to endanger her baby as toxic substances become breast milk. They continue to affect the body, especially nervous system. Children are whiny, their sleep is disturbed, and they often develop convulsions and even epileptic seizures. Of course, it is very offensive in the future, because the mother is always an example for the children and with her passion for tobacco or alcoholic beverages lays this unhealthy train in them.

Alcohol consumption causes great harm your health, negatively affects your children, present and future, destroys family happiness.

So, think about it and choose the path forever mothers-Take care of your health and the health of your children. Show wisdom and willpower.

Expensive mothers!

May health, beauty and joy always be your companions in life. Our the conversation is over. Thank you for participating.

Publications on the topic:

“Happiness is given only to those who know!” Preschool education is a very important issue, at least for those parents who strive to raise happy child. Upbringing.

The children of our group, together with their parents, took part in the competition “ Family happiness" Target of this competition: strengthening the connection between the family and the child.

Each person has their own understanding of happiness. Women's happiness is special. Doll "For good luck" - folk amulet doll. This is a tiny girl.

Abstract of the educational activity "Happiness" Summary of GCD Topic: “Happiness” Goal: To create conditions for familiarizing children with the concept of “happiness.” Objectives: 1. Encourage children to express themselves.

What a blessing it is - Motherhood!
Hear the long-awaited first cry,
Feel the sacred unity
And remember this moment forever.

Hi all! My name is Elena, I am 32 years old, St. Petersburg. Being pregnant, I decided to add my own story to my collection of stories. Now I'm keeping my promise.
My long-awaited baby, first-born. Why so late? So I ask myself... I studied and studied, worked, made a career, organized my own business, first one, then another, in a word, life is a seething, boiling volcanic fountain...
My husband and I have been married for 6 years, of course we talked about having a child, but we were planning for another year or so...
And at the end of November 2008, without waiting for my period on the right day (and I have had it every day, minute by minute for many years), something stirred in my soul, but I decided that it was all to blame for my crazy rhythm of life and business trips to regions with different climates and time zones. A few more days passed... I told my husband about this, and he is my professor of medicine, a wise and experienced man (in our country a big difference aged), to which my husband told me that for several days nothing has been said... But doubts gnawed at me, I bought several tests from different companies and the most expensive ones, just to be sure...
When I lowered the strip, my hands were trembling, I closed my eyes and prayed that the second strip would appear... and it did, Lord, words cannot describe what happened to me then, as if a wave of tenderness and love washed over me... I took my breath away, tears dripped from my eyes in hailstones ( I haven’t cried for many years)… Without leaving the bathroom, I called my mother and only she answered me and heard my sobs - she understood everything and we cried silently on the phone.
Then my husband and I drank champagne all night with tears... and our new pregnant life began.
I am an adult girl, experienced, well-read, at first I was expecting all sorts of pregnancy delights: toxicosis, swelling, exacerbations of all chronic diseases and other joys... but they were not there and never were... But a thousand and one doubts settled in me, a million worries, and a bunch of fussy, always buzzing thoughts.
The rhythm of life did not change, she continued to work, even before the good news she signed up for driving courses, which she continued to attend regularly...
I didn’t want to go to the clinic, constantly working in the medical environment (I’m not a doctor, but nevertheless), I guessed what awaited me... And so it happened... Unfortunately, in our country, pregnancy is not a holiday and the natural state of a healthy young woman, and a serious illness - from the point of view of our wonderful medicine... But what can we do, we live in such a country. I became registered at 12 weeks... It could have been later. Registration – queue, no tickets... ordinary story, spent half the day waiting for an appointment, the sour faces of the doctor and nurse, the chair, the examination and other joys...
The pregnancy was going normally, I didn’t feel anything at all, I was only tired of endless tests, I had practically no deep veins to be found, no matter what they did to my hands: they beat me, and hot water They watered me, and tied them with tourniquets in several places, and stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, in the crooks of my elbows, in my hands, in one word they tortured me...
At 17 weeks I went for an ultrasound with my doctor friend; I decided not to take my husband with me for the first time. When I heard the baby’s heart on the ultrasound and saw someone very small on the monitor, I greeted him: “So we met you, baby.” The doctor said that everything is normal and it looks like it will be a girl, but not yet for sure...
Here I was confused, because... I didn’t even think that I could become a mother to a girl, because even in my childhood dreams I always thought that I would have a son, and then suddenly a girl...
Mentally, I began to persuade myself that a girl is also good, frilly bows, dolls and other attributes... I selected a name in my mind and even settled on Varenka, when at the second ultrasound my baby clearly showed his belonging to male, the husband, standing nearby and looking at the monitor, did not see anything, because... Tears prevented me from looking at my husband, tears prevented me from looking at the monitor and the doctor doing the ultrasound, and only my loud exclamations of “Look, it’s a boy!!!” made them finally see everything they needed.
Then time flew by quickly, my baby grew and communicated with me, pushed, hiccupped... everything was as it should... True, the doctor who took care of my pregnancy said, what is it that you are already in your seventh month, and you have never been in the hospital for saving... I had a fight with her and naturally didn’t go anywhere.
When I was eight months pregnant, I passed all the exams myself and received a driver’s license.
The time has come to choose a maternity hospital, we approached the choice thoroughly, having the opportunity, my husband made inquiries at the city Health Committee, where they named the five best, among which I chose maternity hospital No. 1 on Vasilievsky Island, it was August and two others that I liked more (Otta and maternity hospital of the first honey) were closed for ventilation.
Mom arrived (she and dad live in another city), she supported me a lot, she and I packed the “anxious suitcase of a woman in labor” and did a lot of preparatory little things.
The deadline was set for August 3-5. We went to the maternity hospital to conclude a contract and conduct a preliminary examination at 37 weeks. Deputy The chief doctor who was supposed to take my birth was on vacation, examined me and said that I would most likely give birth at 41 weeks, that is, he would have time to take off his vacation, but just in case, he introduced me to his deputy, a wonderful doctor Shcherbina Larisa Anatolyevna, she entered the room and, it seems, the sun began to shine brighter, I really liked her at first sight.
Since we live outside the city, we decided to go to the maternity hospital earlier so as not to give birth in a car near open bridges at night. On August 5, my husband and I went to the maternity hospital and both cried all the way, we were never apart for more than 2 days, and then there was such an exciting event ahead... In general, we arrived, I was admitted to the prenatal department in a paid 2-bed ward, the conditions are not so great, but this is not a resort, you have to understand, everything is very neat, clean, without a hospital smell, the staff is very friendly, everyone is smiling, interested in your well-being...
My husband called every 10-15 minutes, so many kind and tender words and I haven’t heard declarations of love from him in all 6 years life together, It was very nice.
They examined me, gave me injections, IVs - they prepared me for childbirth, but I was not ready, I had very strong muscles, a long cervix, big baby(An ultrasound in the maternity hospital showed 3800), in a word, they suggested doing a caesarean section or giving birth for a couple of days with stimulants, my husband and I decided to have a caesarean section, so as not to harm the baby and also to spare me... The operation was scheduled for August 10, just the day my doctor returned from vacation . The consultation took place on August 6. I calmed down, because... certainty appeared and began to wait.
On August 7, the baby was pushing very actively, but I didn’t attach any importance to it, at night (at 4.20) I woke up because something was flowing from me, but I wasn’t peeing, I didn’t understand right away when I was half asleep, but then it dawned on me, it started! !! I couldn’t sleep, I jumped out of bed... frantically began to throw some things on the floor, towels, it just poured out of me in a torrent and a lot... The neighbor went to the nurses’ station, they came to me, gave me a huge bundle of sheets as a pad and took me to examination, despite the gasket, I flooded the entire corridor... On the way, I managed to call my husband so that he would call my doctor’s deputy - Larisa Anatolyevna Shcherbina, sat down on the chair... and oh, happiness, it was Larisa Anatolyevna who was the doctor on duty that day, I was lucky . She examines me and at that moment my husband calls her, in general we laughed. But my cervix did not want to open, moreover, there was not even a hint that it was the cervix of a pregnant woman, there were no contractions at all, the water flowed like a stream... In general, they did all the cosmetic and hygienic procedures for me and took me to the operating room , all this time I was waiting for at least one contraction to feel what it was, but alas, nothing... In the meantime, I signed all the certificates and papers that I was warned about the consequences and side effects anesthesia... they changed me into paper shirt, laid him on the table, put warm shoe covers on his feet, and inserted a catheter into urethra(a very unpleasant procedure), everyone was very attentive. And Larisa Anatolyevna had 23 births and 5 cesareans in that 24 hours, I was the 6th, but despite the wild fatigue, she joked with me and even sang a song, amazing person! Then I was given anesthesia, and the last thing I remember was Larisa Anatolyevna saying: “Let’s go!”... I woke up in the operating room, everything was swimming before my eyes, I couldn’t move my lips, but with some completely wild effort, she asked me if I was a boy and Is everything okay with him? The anesthesiologist shook his head affirmatively and I passed out. My baby was born on 08.08.09 at 6.07 am, weight 3300, 51 cm, 9/8 according to APGAR.
They took me to the intensive care ward, gave me a heating pad with ice, pressed it on my cut stomach and told me to do the same, it was painful and cold... but they warmed me up with phone calls, everyone already knew, they called, congratulated me... in the afternoon I was transferred to the intensive care ward , instead of beds there were gurneys with a thin layer of flattened foam rubber, my stomach hurt like crazy, I really wanted to cough after the tracheal tube that was inserted into my throat during the operation, but it was difficult to clear my throat, it was difficult to breathe... In the evening, my mother and husband came with armfuls of white roses. Without saying a word, my brother (he lives in the USA) sent me a bouquet of 61 white roses by courier service, and my husband bought 71 white rose, they didn’t even want to let them into the maternity hospital with such a rose garden, the sisters were looking for buckets on the floors, and my whole room was buried in flowers. Then all the employees came to my room as if on an excursion, to look at the flowers, it was very pleasant. Then they brought the baby, and for the first time I saw my miracle, the long-awaited, beloved, dearest creature in the world. Being pregnant, I was afraid that I would be confused, that I wouldn’t know what to do with him, how to approach him, but when I saw him, I immediately realized that I had known and been able to do everything for a long time...
I would like to sincerely thank the wonderful staff of maternity hospital No. 1 of St. Petersburg on Vasilievsky Island, they are super-professionals, and at the same time kind and sensitive people. Special thanks to Larisa Anatolyevna Shcherbina - a doctor from God, bow to her and may God give her health and strength to help many, many more babies be born.
Now my son Daniil is 6 months old, we have 3 teeth, we are growing, we are trying, and we wish the same for you!
I finally realized what it means to be a real woman, I am happy to take care of the baby, housekeeping, I even got chickens... My husband is not overjoyed at this transformation of a business woman into a housewife... And I began to catch myself thinking that I already want a girl...
Good luck to all, desired pregnancies, easy birth and healthy babies!!!