If a man did not wish happy birthday. My boyfriend didn't wish me happy birthday

What do you think, my boyfriend didn’t wish me a happy birthday, I don’t know, he forgot or ignored me. He also has a birthday soon. I should do the same. How should I do it, please help. Thank you.

Hello Alya, do you want to wish your boyfriend a happy birthday? If you write about it, I will assume that you still want to congratulate. Then, what does not allow you to do this, I will assume that anger and resentment that he did not congratulate you. Then the situation is as follows - you want to congratulate, but prefer not to congratulate out of revenge (like, let him feel the same as you). In this place, he really may be offended, he may not react in any way (well, he did not congratulate and did not congratulate), or he may not even notice it. In this situation, your offense will be compensated only if he notices that he did not congratulate and be offended by this. In the other two cases, your offense is not compensated. Here you can act differently, tell your boyfriend directly that you are offended and ask why he did it. In this way, you can live your emotions and make a decision that satisfies you. All the best.

Shcherbakova Leyla Belanovna, psychologist in Almaty

Hello Alya! Your boyfriend didn’t wish you a happy birthday - it’s a shame, a doubly insult - if he didn’t apologize, and didn’t do it later! There can be many reasons: did not know, forgot, spun in the bustle, did not have time, ignored, and so on. You can guess, fantasize, get angry, resentful about this and make plans for revenge. The easiest way is to make an offended look, pout your lips and wait for him to guess himself. But the only way to know the truth is to talk to him about it. In a calm atmosphere, without pretensions, screams and tears. You need to tell him about how you felt and feel now about this. And then the choice is yours! How to proceed, you must decide for yourself! Pay close attention to your boyfriend's behavior. try to analyze your relationship. Maybe it's time to make a choice? All the best! Happiness to you and good onions!

Kotlova Lyudmila Nikolaevna, psychologist, Armavir

Often one hears the opinion that being offended is wrong. It’s easy to say, but what if your loved one didn’t wish you a happy birthday, they got nasty in the store, and your mother-in-law said a couple of barbs? Silence and pretend that nothing unpleasant happened? This is unlikely to work. Psychologist Marina Vozchikova gives advice.

Of course, there are people who very quickly forget about the wrongs inflicted, but they are in the minority, - the expert believes. - Most often, the words or deeds of the person who offended us sink into the soul, and no matter how hard we try, a negative reaction, and sometimes long-term worries about this, cannot be avoided. Therefore, your task is not to convince yourself that you are actually not offended at all (because it is not true!), but to get out of this situation with minimal losses. Let's look at a few examples.

Example one.

Dina, 27 years old: “I often take offense at my work colleague. She seems to treat me well, but she constantly says things that hurt me. Either I’m not dressed like that, then I gained extra weight, then I didn’t wash my cup after tea well ... It’s trifles, but unpleasant ... I wouldn’t want to quarrel, sort things out with other colleagues.”

Psychologist's comment:

Obviously, Dina's colleague belongs to the type of people who need to assert themselves at the expense of others. This is usually due to internal self-doubt. A person believes that he is bad, and tries to prove that others are even worse than him. Hence the petty nit-picking of others. He can choose a scapegoat for himself, on which he can take out his complexes.

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Only one thing can help here - repay the offender with the same coin. Watch her, pay attention to the shortcomings - after all, not everything is perfect! And next time, as if by the way, make a remark to her. In the same vein as she did to you. After a couple of such caustic remarks, a woman is likely to leave you alone and switch to another object.

Second example.

Alexandra, 32 years old: “I am very worried when I swear with someone. By nature, I am not a conflict person at all, but someone often offends me myself. Just recently, an employee of the Housing Office, to whom I went on business, yelled at me. It's been two weeks and I still can't calm down...

Psychologist's comment:

We are sometimes very sensitive to negativity towards us, because it seems to us that we should not be spoken to like that, and if someone insults us, it means that we are bad, unworthy ... But it's not about you. Most likely, the housing office employee behaves the same way towards other visitors, this is her manner of communication. She has long forgotten about you. Tell yourself: “I am good, and if it seems to someone that this is not so, then this is his own problem!” Repeat these words to yourself in all situations when you feel that you have been offended. If you change your attitude to the situation, stop blaming yourself for what happened, you will feel much calmer.

Example three.

Oksana, 29: “The more I think about my relationship with my boyfriend, the more offended I feel. We have been dating for almost a year, and during this time he has never brought me a single gift, has not offered to help me with the housework, and generally does almost nothing for me ... It seems that he only comes to me to have sex and have a good evening ... Recently I had a birthday, he knew about it very well, but he didn’t even call! I am in thought - either to part with him, or to endure such an attitude and not show resentment ... "

Psychologist's comment:

The mistake of many women is what they think: a man should automatically guess what they want. And meanwhile, many men are slow-witted. If you endure such a situation further and silently accumulate resentment, then sooner or later the cup of your patience will burst anyway, and you will part with this man.

The way out here is to dot all the "and". Talk to your young man frankly, find out why he behaves this way. Surely there is a reason! Maybe his previous girlfriend hurt him, and now he is afraid to become strongly attached to you, or maybe he just doesn’t have money for gifts, so he ignored your birthday ... Finally, you may not play that in his life the role that he plays in your ... After listening to the answer, you will understand how to proceed.

It is hidden resentment that causes trauma, - says psychologist Marina Vozchikova. - Instead of hiding grudges in yourself, learn to tell people that they hurt you (of course, if the situation repeats itself

Beloved man ignored the holiday date and did not congratulate you. Of course, it’s not about bouquets and gifts as such, but why did he do this, and how harmful is it for your relationship? How to respond if a man did not congratulate you on the holiday - the site "Beautiful and Successful" will tell.

Is it possible to believe that he simply forgot about the holiday date?

Why in general can it turn out that a man did not congratulate on some holiday? The most common excuse is “I forgot!”.

Believe it or not?

You can try to believe - if we are talking about the day you met, or the day of your first kiss, or even your wedding anniversary ...

If a man is not particularly sentimental, he hardly attaches importance to what happened when - they met, kissed, got married, for him the specific date may not be important ...

A man can forget or not guess to congratulate you if you basically didn’t agree that you were celebrating something, and you never mentioned that you attach importance to some date. Well, for example - the first anniversary of an acquaintance: you can expect that this is an occasion to arrange a small holiday, but the man does not remember the date, and was not going to celebrate ...

If a man "forgot" about March 8 or February 14 - I'm sorry, this is not true. There are too many third-party reminders of this around!

If a man suddenly did not congratulate you on a holiday where you are the hero of the occasion - happy birthday, then you can hardly believe in forgetfulness either - an attentive loving man does not forget this!

The man did not congratulate on the holiday, although he probably remembered him - why?

This is a very disturbing bell in a relationship! What can you think?

• If you are dating, but the man did not make an appointment on a holiday or arranged it as an ordinary date without congratulations, there is reason to suspect that he considers your relationship "" (the site "Beautiful and Successful" already wrote about what it is). That is, in principle, he does not consider himself obliged to remember important dates for you and arrange something special!
• If your relationship is already long-term, then ... perhaps the man believes that the stage of courtship has passed, romantic nonsense (which he previously endured solely to win your heart) can be set aside, including congratulations on the holidays, which are not particularly important and interesting for him . The problem is not that he does not like holidays, but that he does not want to make an effort and arrange a holiday for you, knowing that congratulations will be pleasant to you!
• Perhaps he considers you “his boyfriend”, and sincerely believes that you treat all these valentines and March 8th with the same contempt! If this is true, then perhaps there is no problem. But if you understand that he just makes life easier for himself, justifying himself by the fact that supposedly the woman probably doesn’t like all this herself, this is a problem.

The man did not congratulate on the holiday: how to react?

What to do when this has already happened - the holiday has passed, but congratulations have not followed? No need to get angry and complain to the man himself, no need to shame him - do not humiliate yourself and do not put yourself in the position of a petitioner! "Well, congratulate me, I'm waiting! And do not congratulate - a goat! - approximately so any claims are treated.

It will be right to emphasize with a cool attitude that you noticed what happened. If your turn is coming soon to congratulate a man on the holiday - do not do it!

Wait until he thinks and wants to explain himself about this!

Look at the problem more broadly - how valuable you are to a man, how much he wants to make you happy surprises, something pleasant (and not only on holidays?).

For a lover, every holiday is just another reason to please his beloved! For someone who has fallen out of love, this is a burdensome duty ... And here it’s not about the holidays themselves ...

And also, so that a man always wants to congratulate you - rejoice and sincerely thank you when he does not forget to do this! Make the holidays really enjoyable for him, and not burdensome - prepare something unusual, offer an interesting way to spend this day!

Common female mistakes:

• Before the holiday, constantly “inadvertently” remind about it. Once is enough for a man to understand that you have not forgotten about the date and consider it significant.
• Talk about the upcoming holiday (or holidays in general), only in negative tones - how do you not like to celebrate and receive congratulations, etc. It is appropriate to say this only if it is true, and congratulations will be unpleasant for you. If the goal is the opposite - to motivate a man to “persuade” you with a chic celebration and a good gift, then you will not achieve it. Men tend to take everything literally, alas...

In turn, do not forget to congratulate the man on the holidays (preferably with gifts of similar value, chosen with a soul) - so that he does not feel that he is “playing with one goal”!
--
Author - Dasha Blinova, website www.site - Beautiful and Successful

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Reasons why a man may not congratulate

1. The first reason is that this man doesn't care about you at all. Think for yourself, because if a young man loves his woman, he will find a way to congratulate her on this holiday. If he cannot spend this evening with you and cannot even call, then you can always send SMS with words of love and good wishes. If this has not been done, but at the same time you are sure that everything is in order with the young man, then this only speaks of his complete indifference and indifference.
2. The next reason is banal and simple - he just lost his phone. This can also happen and should be taken into account. But if this is the case, then the guy will definitely come to you personally, for example, on the 1st or 2nd of the month and will certainly congratulate you.
3. The third reason is that he can be married and spend all the holidays with his family. In this case, there may be no SMS from him, much less calls.
4. There are cases when a young man celebrates a holiday with friends and relatives and is simply embarrassed to call in front of them. But then he will definitely congratulate you later, when no one will bother him.
5. The last reason he did not congratulate was because something happened to him or to him, and he simply does not care about it.

How to react if a man did not congratulate you on the holiday

So, if your man did not wish you a Happy New Year, what should you do? First of all, you need to find out the reason. If you know that everything is in order with him, and he did not call not only on the night of the first, but also in the following days, then you need to seriously think about whether this is your man? Or rather, does he consider you his girlfriend or at least a girlfriend? After all, if a young man likes a girl, then he will certainly congratulate her on the holiday, and even if he cannot do it personally, he will use the phone.

If he didn’t do anything, then you don’t need to be silent and accumulate resentment, just meet with him and ask why this happened and how he perceives your relationship. But the conversation should take place without emotions and resentment on your part. If you throw a scandal at him and show how offended you are, then you won’t really know anything, and he will continue to behave in this way.

If you are only on friendly terms with a guy, but at the same time you dream of a relationship with him, and he doesn’t even congratulate you on the New Year, then just forget about these hopes and about him, because by such behavior he showed that he does not appreciate you not only as a woman, but also as a friend. In this situation, your reaction should be its complete absence. Forget about this person, and if he has a holiday soon, then don’t congratulate him either. Why do you need a friend who does not appreciate and respect you either as a girl or as a person?

I recently received a question: “how to respond if a colleague that I like, but whom we meet 2 times a month and only at work does not congratulate on the holidays?”. If you have a similar story, then there is no need to react here, since you have absolutely no relationship with him. First you need to create a closer relationship with a colleague, and then think about why he acts one way or another.

Yours faithfully, Elena Nikandrova